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1004tyun-archive · 2 years ago

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❥ late bloomer

✿ pairing: non-idol!taehyun x noona!reader

✿ summary: your high school and college years were nothing short of uneventful. no first dates, no first kiss, no first boyfriend, nothing. but when you and taehyun hit it off at an art exhibit and start a relationship, you know you want him to be your first for everything. but does taehyun know he's your first?

✿ genres: established relationship, smut, slight angst

✿ warnings: slight age gap (reader is 25, taehyun is 21), virgin reader, soft dom taehyun, body worship, mirror sex, voyeurism

✿ word count: 5.8k words

✿ a/n: hi friends! i've been noticing an increase in the taehyun noona lover agenda, so i thought why not toss my hat in and give y'all a noona reader fic of my own? i hope you enjoy <3

very special thank you to @cherrypeaking for being my sounding board while writing this fic! screenshots were shared, tears were shed, memories were made 🥹

You zoom down the streets of Seoul with purpose, the wind blowing through your hair as you blast Carly Rae Jepsen’s entire discography in your car, not caring if anyone’s bothered by the way the bass shakes your car. Today’s a special day, after all.

You and Taehyun’s halfiversary, to be specific. It was like pulling teeth trying to get him to play along with the gimmick of celebrating the first six months of your relationship, but you were too excited not to celebrate it. You had a feeling there would be many more months to come, you knew it from the first date. You’ve never been more certain about anything.

You roll up to Taehyun’s apartment complex and turn your music down to a whisper’s volume. You text him indicating that you’re outside and he steps out moments later. He looks so dashing in a white dress shirt, black pants, his dark hair pushed back, and a Rolex adorning his wrist. As soon as he slides into your car, you’re hit with the scent of his woodsy, floral cologne.

Does he have any idea how irresistible he is?

“Happy halfiversary, baby,” you say and lean in, smiling into the kiss he gives you. You playfully smack him on the arm when he doesn’t return the greeting and he holds back a smile, his lips pressing into a line.

“Come on, you have to say it too!”

“Or what, the magic won’t work?” he asks dryly.

“Come on, say it!” you whine, then cross your arms. “I’m not driving us to our reservation until you say it.”

His smile gets harder to suppress as you give him puppy eyes, you can tell his resolve is beginning to crack.

“Happy… halfiversary, Y/N,” he finally says. You pump your fist and kiss him on the cheek. He can’t stop himself from smiling and neither can you.

If there’s one thing you’ve grown to admire about Taehyun, it’s his dry sense of humor. He takes so much pleasure in messing with you, but you love to return the energy, pushing the boundaries of just what you can get him to do in the name of love.

You switch to the playlist you and Taehyun made when you first started seeing each other and warmth spreads in your chest as you reminisce.

It hasn’t been too long you started dating, but every day has been so bright since Taehyun entered your life.

You’re relieved by everything he is. Protective, kind, warm in his own special, Taehyun way. His warmth radiates even as he sits across from you and holds your hand, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. The flame of the candle between you enhances the brown in his eyes.

Being an art museum security guard is a niche job that requires you to look tough and always be on your toes, but being around Taehyun allows you to let your guard down.

You’re the older of the two of you; you’re a couple of months into being 25 and Taehyun turned 21 just days before you met, but you turn into such a giddy child whenever he’s around.

You swing your arms as you hold hands and walk through the city streets together, and Taehyun watches you in amusement, a quiet fond smile on his face.

You make your way from the restaurant to the grocery store to stock up on snack foods for the night.

As you and Taehyun load your many bags of snacks into the trunk of your car, it finally hits you.

You’re going to be spending the night with him for the first time. You’ve never spent the night with a boyfriend before, much less even had a boyfriend before, period.

Your CRJ marathon continues as you drive back to Taehyun’s apartment. Want You In My Room starts to play and the heat rises in your cheeks. You try to keep your cool as the song plays. You’re having good conversation, but of course it settles to silence in the middle of the first chorus.

♪ I wanna do bad things to you / Slide on through my window / (I want you in my room) / Baby, don’t you want me, too? ♪

You get flustered and quickly switch to the next song.

“Subtle,” Taehyun remarks and you want to bury yourself in your steering wheel.

Despite your prior embarrassment, Taehyun has your back pressed against the wall the moment his front door shuts behind you. His hands slide up your waist and to the side of your neck as his lips press against yours.

He kneels in front of you and runs his hands up your legs and under your dress to play with the tops of your sheer tights.

“Can I take these off?” he asks, running his his hands down to rest on the backs of your thighs. He’s so breathtaking from this angle, looking up at you with those eager, glittering eyes.

His breath is fanning against your thigh, sending tingles up your spine and making you dizzy. Every cell in your body is urging you, screaming at you to say yes.

And yet…

“Wait,” you say, breathing a little heavily. “I… uh, I-I didn’t shave.”

“That doesn’t bother me.”

“Well, it bothers me,” you emphasize, sounding more offended than you intended. Taehyun pauses to look at you for a moment before the warmth of his hands slowly leave your body. You feel a pang of guilt and offer a meek apology as he rises to his feet.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

But that’s the problem. You do want to, you really really want to.

But there’s a massive roadblock that always stands in your way whenever situations like this arise.

A roadblock called inexperience.

You change into your pajamas and spend the rest of the night watching competitive cooking shows on Netflix while gossiping about your work lives and sharing snacks like you’re two kids having a sleepover.

You fall asleep on the couch snuggled into his side and you’re stirred awake by his movement.

“Let’s get to bed,” he says sleepily. He helps you up from the couch and you can’t ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you realize you’ll be sleeping in the same bed together for the first time.

Once it dawns on you that you’re sleeping together, you’re too giddy to possibly fall asleep. You say goodnight when Taehyun falls asleep, but you’re still up, taking in the atmosphere of his bedroom. He has blackout curtains but a small, round galaxy lamp casts shadows on the ceiling and grants the perfect amount of light to the room. Everything smells like him, floral and woodsy like his cologne, but also like the lavender scent of his hair shampoo.

You could imagine yourself here more often.

When you wake up hours later, all you can do is stare at Taehyun’s sleeping face. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping, even with his mouth slightly open and messy hair.

“Morning,” Taehyun says. His morning voice is so sexy, it warms up your entire body. He throws an arm over you and snuggles you closer. You’re close enough for the tips of your noses to touch, close enough to hear his breathing.

“G’morning,” you say then kiss the tip of your boyfriend’s nose.

“I made a brunch reservation for 10:00,” he says. “It’s a quarter to 9 now, so we have time.”

“Time for what?” you ask.

“Time for this,” Taehyun pounces on you and kisses you. You kiss him back and things get heated pretty quickly with his tongue making its way past your lips and into your mouth.

Your heart catches in your throat when you feel his morning wood poking at your inner thigh.

“Wanna make a mess before we get ready?” he asks, his tone suggestive as he slips his fingers past the fabric of your worn t-shirt. Your heart is hammering in your chest as the warmth of his hand against your waist makes you dizzy.

“I-I think we should start getting ready,” you say, shying away from Taehyun’s touch. He looks a bit disappointed but ultimately does what you say and removes his hands from your body.

You quickly get up to get your clothes for the day and go to take your shower.

The rest of the day is awkward, to say the least.

You and Taehyun walk back from brunch. You reach for his hand and hold it, but he doesn’t hold yours back. Taehyun, the chronic hand holder, not reaching for your hand as soon as you left the restaurant already raised a red flag, but him not holding your hand at all?

You get back to his place and take a seat on the couch. Taehyun sits on the couch too, but not immediately next to you. And at first, you chalk that up to him needing a bit of space. It’s not like he was icing you out, he wasn’t kicking you out, after all. He was still in the same room with you, just a little more quiet and distant than usual.

He’s pretty quiet for the rest of the day, giving you tacit responses when you ask questions and giving a half-hearted laugh when you try to tell a joke or make him laugh.

You finally notice things are wrong when he’s cooking dinner. You wrap your arms around his waist and he exhales through his nose.

“Now you want to touch me?” he asks. Your heart breaks a little as you let go of him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask.

“Nothing.”

Oh, so now it’s back to the short responses?

“No, it’s not nothing,” you say, it’s impossible to hide that you’re upset. “What did you mean?”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” he asks. Where did this tone come from? He sounds like he’s joking, but not really. It’s really setting you off.

“Clearly there’s something I’m not getting,” you say.

“Then maybe you need some time to figure it out. Time away from me.”

You’re taken aback.

“Taehyun, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying you should probably go,” he finally turns to face you and his face is devoid of any warmth. When he looks at you with those cold eyes, it’s like the warmth leaves your body as well.

You search his face for any inkling of mirth or signs of him joking, but you don’t find any.

He really wants you to leave.

“Fine, I have work tomorrow anyway,” you stuff your clothes back into your bag, and storm out of Taehyun’s apartment without even a second glance. He doesn’t even look at you as you leave.

You walk to your car, not being able to hear much over your heart pounding in your ears. By the time you’re seated behind the wheel, your heart plummets.

It hits you that you’ve hurt your boyfriend’s feelings big-time. You didn’t need to see him on your way out to know that.

You can’t even bring yourself to start your car. You sit behind the wheel and hold back your tears until you can’t any longer, tears spilling down your cheeks while you mentally beat yourself up for having done this. Why were you so afraid? Why were you going out of you way to drive a wedge between the two of you?

It’s like you wanted him to hate you.

You check your phone at every red light, hoping and praying that he reaches out to you first, but to no avail. No message, no phone call, nothing from him.

A sinking feeling festers at the pit of your stomach. You’re not sure if you even want to go home, but you can’t think of anywhere else you could go.

Your housemates Jihyo and Nayeon are sitting in the living room laughing at something on TV and you know you’ve tanked the energy the moment you step through the door.

“You’re back,” Jihyo greets from the couch. “How’d it go?”

“It was… nice,” you say, voice strained.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Nayeon asks, clearly detecting that something’s wrong.

You can already feel the tears returning and you can’t stop them from falling. You break down into sobs and both Jihyo and Nayeon get up to console you. They lead you to the couch to sit down and you tearfully explained everything that has led up to this point.

“I hurt him,” you say between sobs and Nayeon rubs your shoulder. “He’s never gonna speak to me again.”

“Did he say that?” Jihyo asks.

“No, but he didn’t need to. Ever since this morning, he’s been tiptoeing around me and walking on eggshells trying not to upset me. He didn’t touch me, he didn’t even sit near me. He probably thinks I hate him.”

“Sounds like he thinks you’re mad at him,” Nayeon suggests.

“I’m not mad at him, I’m just.. scared of messing up.”

“Why are you so scared of going through with it?”

“I-I don’t think I’m ready. It’s something I want, but I don’t feel ready. There are only so many articles you can read and videos you can watch in preparation. Nothing compares to actual experience, and until meeting Taehyun, I’ve had none. What if I do something wrong? What if there’s something wrong with the way I smell or the way I taste or I can’t get into the right positions or—”

“—Y/N, no one’s first time is perfect,” Nayeon says. “The only way it can be close to perfect is by communicating with each other.”

“Right,” Jihyo adds. “Just like how you can’t read his mind, he can’t read yours either. You have to talk things through with him, even if it’s hard.”

You fall silent.

“Does he know he’s your first?” Jihyo asks.

You shake your head, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Y/N, you should tell him,” Nayeon says. “He should understand, he loves you.”

“After tonight, I’m not so sure he does. I don’t wanna lose him.”

“Please, you should see the way he looks at you,” Jihyo says. “He looks at you like you hung the moon and put every star in the sky. You’re not gonna lose him over this, just talk it out.”

You keep Jihyo and Nayeon’s words in mind as your fingers hover over your phone screen the following afternoon.

You have to do this, it’s now or never. A knot forms in your throat as you begin to type.

you: Hey are you busy tonight? I want to talk

taehyun: We’re talking now

you: No I wanna talk to you in person

you: If that’s okay

you: We can meet at that cafe you like

taehyun: That’s fine I have time after work

you: Okay see you then

He doesn’t respond and your entire body gets tense. Jihyo wasn’t wrong about this being hard.

You end up arriving first, standing outside the café with your hands in your pockets mentally hyping yourself up for this difficult conversation. You can do this. It’ll be hard but it’s important for your relationship.

You spot Taehyun from the corner of your eye and walk toward him, greeting him and giving him a hug. He doesn’t hug you back, that on its own worries you, but you try not to let it discourage you.

“How are things?” you ask from the across the table.

“Fine,” he says. His tone is so cold, not like the playful kind of cold tone he uses to tease you, but genuinely cold, distant even. A frigid silence settles between the two of you and your throat tightens.

“I wanna apologize for last weekend,” you start. “I didn’t mean to be so weird.”

“It’s fine,” Taehyun says, his voice is tense and it unsettles you.

“No, it’s not fine. I hurt you when I didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry.”

Taehyun is unusually quiet, part of you wants to ask him why but you also want to give him the proper space to think.

"Y/N, be honest. Are you trying to break up with me?"

That question hits you like a slap in the face.

"What?"

"Whenever I try to touch you, you always push my hands away, change the topic, or run away. This didn’t start with last weekend, it’s been going on for a while now and I don’t know if I can take it anymore. What am I doing wrong? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, no. Taehyun, you're not doing anything wrong."

"Then why are you pushing me away?"

"I’m not pushing you away, I just…" you hesitate, looking down at your hands then back up at Taehyun, who's looking at you expectantly. He’s a bit upset, but it's clear that he wants to hear what you have to say for yourself.

The thing is, you aren't completely prepared to say it. You swallow, fighting the dryness seizing your throat.

"I’ve spent all my life feeling invisible. My friends had their first kisses before I did, got married before I did, started having kids before I did while I couldn’t even get a date. I felt like time was running out for me, and then I met you. Taehyun, you make me feel seen. Being with you makes me feel like the lovesick teenager I never got to be. Before we got together, I'd never had a boyfriend, been on a date, held someone's hand, or had my first kiss. You've been my first for everything, but whenever sex comes into play, I-I get scared.”

“Scared?”

“Scared that I won’t measure up, scared of how you’d react. You’ve had years of experience with different partners while I just bought a vibrator for the first time this year. Can you believe it? 25 and I just bought my first sex toy,” you say with a wry laugh. “You make me so happy, Taehyun. There’s no one else I’d rather have my first time with, but the thought of disappointing you or making you slow down for me hurts too much. I don’t want to do that to you."

There’s a long silence between the two of you. Taehyun pulls you into a tight hug. You’re startled at first, but you soon close your eyes and wrap your arms around him in return.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he sighs. “I’m- I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Another thing you’ve learned to love about Taehyun is his firm belief of actions speaking louder than words. The way he holds you tight in this café speaks for him perfectly. Sometimes words aren’t needed and this is one of those times for him.

“Let’s make some plans,” Taehyun says, determined. “I’m gonna give you the best first time you’ll ever have.”

As the week progresses, Taehyun texts you asking about your sexual preferences, your kinks, anything you’d like to try, and you answer to the best of your abilities. You blush when he tells you the things he’d like to do to you.

Things like tying you up, spitting in your mouth, overstimulation, the works. He emphasized that he’d only do these things if you want him to, but little does he know that you’d let him run you over with a tractor as long as he called you his princess while doing it.

But maybe you’ll reserve those for after your first time. Baby steps.

You open your underwear drawer and the tip of your one and only vibrator is staring you right in the face.

You stare at it for a good minute, wondering if you should bring it along on your journey. You suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea and tuck the toy into your purse.

You throw on your best dress and heels and make your way out the door. Your heart is beating at a thousand miles a minute but talking things through with Taehyun all week combined with your housemates’ good luck texts this morning give you all the confidence you need.

Your heart is pounding as you walk down the narrow hallway of his floor and get closer to his apartment. You knock on the door and you’re greeted with a surprisingly dressed down Taehyun. He’s got a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants on, a far cry from the glam look you decided to go with for today.

“Wow, you got all dressed up for me?” Taehyun wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you.

“I feel so overdressed,” you confess.

“Don’t worry, that won’t matter later,” he says with a smile and your cheeks burn. He leads you to his bedroom, but you can hardly wait to touch him, to kiss him, to feel him.

You don’t even make it to the bed before you pounce on him, pressing his back to his bedroom door and kissing him hard. He leans into it almost automatically as his hands find your waist to pull you impossibly closer.

“Have I ever told you how sexy your legs look in tights?” Taehyun asks, running his hands up your legs.

“No, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it a couple hundred more times.”

“As you wish,” Taehyun kisses your neck and his hands go to the tops of your tights. He peels them off of your legs and casts them to the side. He sucks on the skin of your neck and you sigh at the sensation as he leaves a few pretty hickies behind.

His hands trail up your ass and to the invisible zipper on the back of your dress. Your heart skips a beat as you feel your dress slowly fall off of your body and pool around your feet on the floor. Taehyun grabs your shoulders and turns you toward the full-length mirror. He snakes his arms around your waist to hug you from behind.

”God, look at you,” Taehyun whispers against your skin. “I can’t believe no one’s gotten their hands on you yet. How did I get so lucky?”

Taehyun sits at the end of the bed and pulls you down onto his lap so that you’re still facing the mirror.

“Lift your hips,” he says into your ear. You do as your told and lift your hips so he can take your panties off. Once he rolls them down your thigh, you wriggle out of them and kick them off to the side. Taehyun unhooks your bra and pulls it off of you, letting it fall to the floor next to your underwear.

It’s a little embarrassing, sitting in his lap completely naked while he’s fully clothed.

Taehyun explores your naked body with his hands, fingers dragging up your thighs to your stomach to squeeze your breasts. You close your eyes and relax into his touch, feeling every individual callus on the skin of his palm. He slides his thumb over your bottom lip and you sigh, granting him access to your mouth. He shoves two fingers into your mouth and your tongue lazily swirls around his fingers before you begin to suck on them.

“That’s it, princess. You’re a quick learner,” he says and you tingle from his praise. He thrusts his fingers in and out of your mouth and you suck on his digits with every movement.

After a minute or so, he pulls them out of your mouth with a wet pop. Your eyes shoot open when you feel his saliva coated fingers in your pussy. Your back arches from the sensation and you make a noise you’ve never heard yourself make before. Taehyun chuckles.

“You’re so cute,” he whispers and kisses the shell of your ear. “So wet already and we’ve just barely started. I can’t wait to make a mess of you.”

He grabs your jaw with his free hand and turns your head to face the mirror head-on.

“Keep your eyes on the mirror for me.”

You obey, but it’s so hard. Your vision goes blurry as you watch as his fingers thrust in and out of your wet, throbbing entrance. He curls them in just the right way to have you moan so loudly that you shock yourself. You throw your hand over your mouth, but Taehyun quickly removes it.

You've never seen or heard yourself like this before. He’s driving you absolutely wild.

His erection presses against your ass and when you grind against it, his breath hitches.

He rubs at your swollen clit with the heel of his palm. It’s enough to have you clamping your legs shut and squirming in his lap. Taehyun uses his free hand to hold your leg open as he continues to tease your clit at that same, excruciatingly slow rhythm.

You come undone, high pitched moans leaving your lips as you writhe in his lap and he holds you in his strong arms. He continues to finger you through your orgasm until you’re reduced to a panting and whimpering mess.

“Good girl,” he whispers. “You’re so good, princess.”

You go limp in his arms and he holds you, closing his eyes and burying his face in your bare shoulder.

“Are you okay? Do you have enough energy to get on the bed for me?” he asks. You nod and he helps you up anyway, taking your hand and getting you properly seated on the bed.

You sleepily watch as Taehyun slowly undresses, pulling his t-shirt over his head and tossing it into the nearest laundry basket. He pulls a foil packet from the pocket of his sweatpants and places it on his nightstand.

And then, suddenly, you have a lightbulb moment.

“Can we try something?” you ask.

Taehyun raises an eyebrow. “In the mood to experiment already?” You nod shyly and he leans in, eager to listen.

“Can you get my vibrator from my purse? I want you to use it on me.”

It’s a simple little thing, a pink silicone rabbit vibrator about five inches tall.

“What do you want me to do?” he asks, hand resting on your thigh.

You shrug, “I don’t know, be creative.”

“How about you show me how you use it?” he tosses the device to you and your mouth goes dry.

“You’ve used it on yourself before, right? I want to watch you use it.”

You’re frozen in place as the gears in your brain slowly turn in an effort to process what he just said.

“You’re already naked, love. Just get in the usual position you’re in when you use it. I won’t judge you, I promise.”

You’re hesitant but you eventually roll over onto your stomach and shift onto your knees so that your ass is in the air and your face is buried in the softness of one of the memory foam pillows. It smells just like his shampoo, you close your eyes and bury yourself in the scent until your eyes suddenly snap open and you remember what you’re in the middle of.

You can’t see Taehyun but can you feel his eyes on you and it sends a shiver down your spine.

“I’m waiting,” he says in a teasing tone and your face heats up. You press the button at the bottom of the vibrator to turn it on and hold it against your pussy, not yet sliding it inside. You take a breath and rub it against your slit, your thighs twitching when it brushes by your sensitive clit.

“What do you think about when you touch yourself?”

You jolt at the question, already feeling flushed.

“Don’t be shy, you can tell me. It’ll be our little secret.”

He must think he’s so funny. It’s hard to concentrate, your mind is already foggy as you try to focus on your own pleasure while trying to put on a good first show for your boyfriend.

“Put it inside,” he says, softly but commanding. You do as he says, mewling as you push the silicone toy into your dripping core.

“Do you imagine me fucking you?”

Taehyun hovers over you, his toned chest pressing against your back. He kisses your shoulder and slides a hand down over your busy hand, helping you to thrust the vibrator in and out of you.

“It doesn’t compare to me, does it? Doesn’t stretch you out and fill you up like I can, either.”

The mere thought of having him inside you is enough to turn you on even more. Your pussy tightens around the toy, but he’s right. It isn’t enough. You want— no, you need more.

You need him.

“What’s wrong, princess? Can’t cum? Not even with me helping you?”

Your eyes are brimming with tears, you’re so close yet overstimulated at the same time and you’re not sure you can take this any longer. You wordlessly shake your head.

“Want my cock instead?” he asks and you nod fervently. He pulls the vibrating toy out of you and the vibrating sensation that initially numbed your pussy is replaced with the head of Taehyun’s cock. You whimper and he kisses your shoulder.

“Let me know if I need to slow down, okay?”

You give a nod and he plants another kiss on your shoulder before aligning his cock against your pussy and pushing into you. You hiss, hands tightly gripping the cotton sheets beneath you as you feel him slowly fill you. Your body feels like it’s on fire, stretching around him burns, but the pain slowly starts to settle in the boundary of pleasure as Taehyun slowly slides into you until he bottoms out.

You’re pretty sure you’ve elevated to higher plane. You can feel every curve and vein of his length inside you, he fits you so perfectly.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice soft as a feather.

“Mhm,” you sigh. “Feels so good…”

“Mm, that’s my girl,” he rubs your thighs and up towards your stomach. “Relax, okay? I’ll take good care of you.”

You steady your breathing for a moment before he drags his length out of you and plunges it back in. He thrusts particularly deep and hits a spot that has you drooling and grabbing the sheets until your hands start shaking.

“Fuck, Taehyun…!” you cry.

“I’m here, princess. I’m here,” he says soothingly. “You’re doing so good.”

He continues to pound into you, hitting that same spot over and over, it feels so good you could cry. His girthy cock is filling you up, stretching you out so perfectly; you can’t imagine why you waited so long for this, but you’re so glad you’re experiencing it now.

Your entire body runs hot and your thighs quake as you feel a pressure building in your hips.

“T-Taehyun, I’m… ‘m- shit, I’m so close,” you squeak.

“Cum for me, princess. I want you to fucking drench me,” Taehyun says, thrusting faster. “Come on, give it to me.”

You cum so hard that your entire body shakes and your voice breaks. You call Taehyun’s name over and over like it’s a prayer and he holds you tight. Your reaction is enough to push him over the edge as he fucks you through your orgasm.

“You’re mine, Y/N. You’re mine, no one else can have you,” he breathes, thrusting in you faster and faster until he finally cums. You shudder at the way his cock swells inside of you. Your chest rises and falls as you try to catch your breath.

“C’mere, I wanna look at you…” Taehyun pulls out and turns you over on your back so that he’s hovering over you. The outline of his toned body has your heart racing. It’s only been seconds but you already miss the feeling of him inside you.

“You’re so pretty,” he leans in to kiss your forehead and you instantly get butterflies. He falls onto you and you wrap your arms around his waist. You lay there for a minute, still catching your breath until your breathing is in sync.

“Y/N, I want…” his words trail off, he looks flustered. You silently urge him to continue and he gives you a shy, hesitant look you’ve never seen before.

“You might not have been my first, but I want you to be my last,” he confesses. “I know it might be too soon to say it, but I—”

Before Taehyun can continue, you grab his face and kiss him. It’s clumsy, your faces mush together in an awkward kind of way but you can’t help the way you’re feeling. All the admiration and fondness you have for him overtook you like a tidal wave. You separate and he stares at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, continue.” you apologize, breathless. Taehyun looks at you with amusement.

He chuckles, “No, I think that spoke for me just fine.”

“Come on, say it.”

“Are you gonna interrupt me again?”

“Only if you want me to,” you say with a suggestive raise of your eyebrows. Taehyun laughs, it sounds like the ringing of bells.

“I love you, Y/N. I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re mine.”

You smile, holding back your tears of happiness, “I hope you know there’s no getting rid of me now that you’ve said that.”

“Wouldn’t want that for the world,” Taehyun kisses you and lays his head on your bare chest. You run your hands through his hair.

“I love you, Taehyun. I love you so much.”

#taehyun fic #taehyun oneshot #taehyun x reader #txt smut #txt fic #crystal's fics #terry bear 🐻‍❄️❤️‍🔥#bye this was so much fun to write

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mothswritingeye · 2 months ago

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So I have prophetic dreams. The way they go is I have a dream as a little kid and think nothing of it, and then have that same dream years later and realize “wait, that dream that I first had several years ago references a thing that only came out recently”. The dreams are mostly nonsense, but they do reference characters/locations/people that I only learned about recently.

Three examples of said dreams to prove that I’m not just making stuff up:

1: I end up in a copy of my old middle school that has a game like super smash bros ultimate, and I have to fight master hand (although the game is wrongly referred to as super smash bros brawl). I first had this dream before I went to middle school, before I met a teacher featured in the dream, before I knew the super smash bros franchise existed, before I knew of characters featured in that game (hero and master hand), before super smash bros was even revealed, and possibly before super smash bros brawl came out, although I’m not sure on that last part as I’ve never played that game before.

2: The five dragonets from the wings of fire series discovering a different continent and meeting a dragon named Rappa. I first had this dream before I knew about the wings of fire series, before they decided to introduce a second then-unknown continent, and before a character from an unrelated video game Honkai star rail was revealed named Rappa. Honkai star rail also didn’t exist back then, maybe not even Honkai impact third, and I didn’t know about Mihoyo or their other games.

3: I have to go to an alternate dimension to occupy members of the president’s security’s bodies to get him to a specific location. When I first had this dream, Obama was president, and I thought my brain had just made up a president. The president featured in my dream was Joe Biden, who I didn’t know existed when I first had this dream. We have to go through a high school in the quest to occupy the security’s bodies, and two students look significantly like Janis and Damien from the original mean girls movie, which I’ve never watched and didn’t know existed until recently. After a certain point, the president and a non-descript friend that’s helping me with this plot is depicted as a stick figure, specifically the one from animator v animation, which is a series I have never watched and have only seen one screenshot of very recently. When we first start occupying the security’s bodies, I’m holding a water for elephants plushie that was only produced for the recent musical, that only debuted earlier this year, that I saw less then two weeks ago and that I brought. (Proof I brought the plushie below). I also didn’t know about the book or movie until I saw the musical very recently. The members of the security team whose bodies me and the friend inhabit are also characters from dragon ball, an anime/manga that I didn’t know about until a few years ago, after I had the dream, and I’ve never watched or read dragon ball. (I think the characters are vegeta and goku, but I really wouldn’t know).

Proof I have the water for elephants plushie:

So you might be wondering, why exactly am I telling you this? Well, recently I had a dream about Angel and Husk from Hazbin hotel that I first had several years ago, and there was a specific shot that I believe may end up in a song in season two, as well as being confirmation (we could guess this, but still) that Husk is getting a love song with Angel.

(The text says:

they fall from reality

Husk is singing

He rows right

Note: Body swapping hijinks?)

(I would also like to advise you to take the body swapping stuff with an ENTIRE PITCHER of salt. I think that has a less then one percent chance of actually getting in the show)

I’m aware that only I have tangible proof that these dreams are prophetic, but I want to post this now so if the shot ends up in the actual episode I can say ‘I told you so’ and hopefully use this post as proof I have prophetic dreams.

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transflynnscifo · 6 months ago

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Words with deeper meaning- Yuri and The Second Star

If you remember a post I made some time ago about a certain something that Flynn says, well, here is what I would call "the Yuri version"! I've decided I wanted to tackle his iconic sword Second Star. Shoutout to my friend Choc for discussing it so extensively with me, and for also providing good ideas for thought :)

This goes without saying, but everything further down the post includes spoilers for the game! I also ramble semi-extensively about language, like I have the previous time.

So let's take a look at the sword! For the unaware, the guaranteed way to get it is as a drop from fighting Estelle (which is overall one of my most favorite parts of the game).

My own screenshot, in English. Here is the flavor text:

Second Star “The first one is for him...” A sword named with a deep message.

Skills you can unlock for this are "Special" (a requirement to perform mystic artes) and "Combination 2", a skill used for combo building. Given this is more or less what I would call his "canon" sword (as it's seen in multiple illustrations featuring Yuri, and even the opening of the game), the availability for his mystic arte through this checks out. Otherwise, nothing too notable yet.

There are two ways to read into what "the first one" means:

This could be referring specifically to Flynn's sword, Radiant Star. Here is my screenshot of it:

flavor text:

Radiant Star A sword designed in the image of an especially bright star. The star at its tip is a mark of its strength.

The skills here are "Hero", "Rival Surge" and "Rival Surge 2". The first skill is unique to Flynn and how he plays against non-humanoid enemies, with the latter two skills being different boosts based on Yuri's actions in battle.

And of course, in order to gain access to it, you need to win the 100-man melee as Flynn. (It's particularly fun because you need to face off against Yuri)

Further comparison between the two swords will be done further down the post.

2. "The first one" could represent Flynn and Yuri's feelings about him.

My friend Choc says that in this case "the first one" is not truly a specific object but an abstract concept that illustrates Yuri's feelings on Flynn and himself. And I agree with it wholeheartedly.

Based everything the narrative puts down in the game, this is simply another instance of the fact Yuri considers himself second best to Flynn, while simultaneously putting Flynn on what I love referring to as "the pedestal". Even the game itself, through flavor text and descriptions, loves reminding the player that Flynn is essentially the hope and shining light for the knights. This is also, in my opinion, an indirect reflection of Yuri's feelings.

2.5 I'm opening this point based on an idea suggested by Choc:

Let's first recall the legend behind the Vesperia star: and how it's about a brother that went to save the world from the end of the world, while his sister stayed behind to protect the world. The game eventually reveals that this is a fantasized way to say that Zaude is the core protecting the world, while the Vesperia star is in fact the blastia that hid the Adephagos out of sight, keeping it at bay. But what is also worth noting is that this is supposed to draw a strong parallel between Yuri and Estelle with those fictional siblings.

(hey, if you want to feel emotional, the track that plays during the Estelle boss fight is called "The Full Moon and the Morning Star")

Why am I mentioning this? Well, one fun thing that Choc has pointed out is that the audience becomes explicitly aware of that intended parallel, and particularly of Yuri's comparison to the brother who sacrifices himself for everyone else. The hero that steps up and leaves his family behind. Compare that to Yuri's tendency to sacrifice his well-being and tendency to "do the job no one else wants to do."

However, let's imagine we're in Yuri's mental headspace for this. Is it possible to argue that Yuri would hear such a legend and have his own interpretation of it? Choc has proposed that it's one where Yuri thinks that this kind of hero would befit someone like Flynn, instead. He obviously isn't aware of how the narrative intends the legend to be perceived in regards to him, and on top of his (eventual) idealized look at Flynn, it certainly seems worth considering.

As to whether 1 or 2 is the correct answer, it was actually a trick. I believe both are ideas that can coincide here.

Now, let's go to the Japanese flavor texts to further discuss the swords!

flavor text for Second Star:

ニバンボシ一番はあいつの為にとっておいてやるさ…… ……ってワケでもないが意味深な名前を持つ刀

flavor text for Radiant Star:

レイディアントスターひときわ強く輝く一つ星。そんな思いをこめて作られた剣。剣先の星が強さの証

I will try not to go too much into the language use here, because this post would otherwise get even longer than it is.

But for the sake of comparison, while both sword names use the Katakana script, Flynn's sword is English transliterated into Japanese, while Yuri's is in Japanese, but using Katakana.

(many weapons in Vesperia, including ones with Japanese names, are written with Katakana, as opposed to Hiragana and Kanji. It's mostly done for flair/style.)

Here's where it starts getting interesting. Let's look at the Japanese closer:

レイディアントスターひときわ強く輝く一つ星。そんな思いをこめて作られた剣。剣先の星が強さの証

ニバンボシ一番はあいつの為にとっておいてやるさ…… ……ってワケでもないが意味深な名前を持つ刀

I've marked certain instances that I will be discussing here.

一つ星 (hitotsu hoshi)

Now, the flavor text for Flynn's sword uses this, which is translated as "single star" or "a star". In the dictionaries I use, this also translates to "evening/morning star", which seems to invoke the fictional Vesperia star again.

I need to mention the fact that Japanese has a lot of possible variations for counter suffixes. for "一つ", this is using the the general one.

2.一番 / ニバンボシ (ichiban / niban boshi)

Do not mind the fact they're using kanji and katakana respectively. Under normal circumstances, ニバン would be 二番.

These are two counter suffixes in Second Star's name and flavor text! "First" and "Second", these are used to count an order for things.

What I particularly enjoy about this here is that Radiant Star's counter suffix is not used to invoke an order for first, second, etc. It's a single bright star. So it's only with Second Star where the order is invoked, indirectly through Yuri.

Let's look at the two other interesting instances of the text in Second Star!

3. あいつ (aitsu)

This goes without saying, but Yuri is extremely impolite in Japanese. He uses a lot of informal/short forms in sentences, many of which are considered very rude. I won't dissect every instance of Yuri opening his mouth to prove this, but one notable instance is this word (and variation) that Yuri enjoys to use regularly. He uses it for people he isn't close with, he's used it for people he's close with. I've found an instance for him using it with Judith, so he doesn't even limit it to gender. And, of course, he's used it to refer to Flynn.

Now, what does this word even mean? Well, it comes in a set of three, こいつ, そいつ, あいつ. (koitsu, soitsu, aitsu), which are informal/rude ways of referring to people. The main difference between them simply depends on the position of the subject. In the third one's case, it's referred to someone who is "far away from both the speaker and the listener".

Fun fact, Rita also regularly uses these words when she speaks.

Anyway, I just wanted to translate the phrase "あいつの為に", because it's basically "for that guy's sake/for the sake of that guy". thank you

4.ワケでもない (wake demo nai)

Now here is the part that stumped me while reading the flavor text. Normally, this phrase would be written as わけでもない, but the marked in green is in Katakana! でもない is a form of negation, and I've grabbed an example of it from this website:

梅雨時でもないんだから、傘は要らないんじゃない。 "Since it's not the rainy season, there's no need for an umbrella."

ワケ/わけ is most likely 訳, which can mean conclusion/reason/judgement.

When I was looking into the phrase, I also came across "わけではない" (wake dewa nai), which from what I understand is a variation of the negation above. It's used to indicate "It doesn't mean that..."

So, because I wanted to challenge myself, I also wanted to try translating the Japanese flavor text!

warning! amateur translation! (and if it's got a severe error please feel free to let me know) (shout out to the multiple dictionaries I've used)

一番はあいつの為にとっておいてやるさ…… ……ってワケでもないが意味深な名前を持つ刀

"The first one is set aside for him (that guy) / his (that guy's) sake..." Even if he said it had no meaning, the katana carries a meaningful name.

The flavor text offers us the option that Yuri essentially said "The first one is for him" casually, but in reality, the naming of the sword holds a deep meaning to him. The localization shortened it, but ultimately carries the intended message.

I assume this was done to cut out the repetition found in the usage of the word "meaning". Japanese has several ways of saying it, but English is much more limited.

Finally, let's actually move away from the two swords, and point to something closer to late/endgame. Vesperia No.1 and Vesperia No.2! Screenshot from Hyouta:

What I wanted to point out is that the party never ends up using Vesperia No.1 as intended, right? Because it is at a point in the game where Flynn needs help on Hypionia. Yuri, in a surprising turn of events, makes his first selfish request from the others, doesn't he?

That's right, he asks to use the first one, for him.

And later on, when Rita repairs and perfects it, No.2 becomes a sword that Yuri can equip in battles!

So now you can sit with this knowledge too.

Thank you for reading this post! Yuri Lowell is gay

#woe tovposting be upon ye #tales of vesperia #yuri lowell #fluri

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laggs-cringe-corner · 1 month ago

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now i know, I KNOW the actual intent of the night of knives is for the person that Slayer's talking to to be the audience stand-in, considering he literally explains himself to be a vampire in the opening sentence. [x]

BUT! But. Wouldn't it be fun if the person Slayer was explaining this story to was Venom? Either by tweaking this version to make Slayer sound more acquainted with the individual he's talking to, or to have a second version that parallels/references this one?

Venom's win quote against Slayer shows that he'd be interested in hearing about whatever Slayer's learned over the years;

But for this post, specifically, I'm talking about Slayer's offer of help to Venom at the end of Venom's Revelator storymode. (screenshots below video link if you dont wanna watch the whole thing)

youtube

To my limited knowledge, we're never shown in what way Slayer assists Venom. I did look at every scene that Venom appears in for every single storymode in every single game Venom appears in, but I haven't done the same for Slayer, so maybe I missed something.

Ergo, my personal theory is that Slayer tells Venom about his observations about a 'living doll'. I further theorise that Venom recognises the description of a 'doll' as one of those robotic replicas of Ky Kiske that he fought back when he led the guild in a fight against the PWAB in the Accent Core Storymode.

youtube

(Assuming that's canon, anyway. Actually, I'm nearly 100% certain I'm spouting non-canon gibberish, so feel free to point out my many glaring inaccuracies if that tickles your fancy).

Why would this matter? It doesn't! The story still functions if this detail is never addressed, and honestly my ideas for how it all could connect wouldn't be necessary for the emotional beats to hit even if they were already in the text. The only reason I'm arguing for it is that I like pointing at things that resemble other things, and I personally think it would be cool to have.

Well, you've already seen the scene that I wanted this to affect, but I'll give the link and screenshots just to be thorough.

youtube

"Yeah I had a friend and now I have nobody and I'm constantly alone. Don't worry about it, you're a human so I'm sure you have plenty of connections to other humans and wouldn't know what I'm going through. Anyway, we should just focus on the mission haha."

"...(Ohh he just like me fr)"

#on god we gonna get you guys some therapy #guilt gear #sound #Youtube

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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

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Reading for Context

I don’t really feel like scrolling through community profiles has taught me anything. People tend to just post normal tumblr posts and not tirades about shipping. I was told to just scroll OTNF go understand, but OTNF’s feed is just screenshots from a K-drama and idiots pestering him about pronouns for some reason. Is there like a specific way to do it? So… i’ve actually never understood the social conventions of other people in any group i’ve been in. I haven’t really had in real life friends since middle school.

This is actually kind of an interesting question.

First, let me be plain, what you've been asking repeatedly over the last couple of weeks or however long it's been is this:

How does a neurodivergent person who fundamentally is not good at social nuance, reading comprehension, and picking up on context get better at those things?

I've known people whose parents hired coaches to work with them on a weekly basis for years. "How does socializing work?" is not a simple question.

Teaching reading comprehension is hard too.

I vaguely remember a lot of times in school where English teachers spent whole semesters trying to get us to understand not only what figurative language meant in context but how to detect that it was present in the first place. I still remember this one 9th grade classmate wailing "But why does it have to be a metaphor?"

What you're asking about is something most people work on for decades, yet you want randos to summarize it simply in a few sentences.

The first thing that jumps out at me here is the superficiality of how you're describing engaging.

When people say to lurk, they're talking about a deep engagement with a community. They're talking about reading closely, including comments, for a month, not scrolling back through a week and just skimming the top-level posts.

Did you open the replies on my tumblr posts where other people besides me are discussing things? Did you look at the reblogs with content, and not just the ones I reblogged back onto my own tumblr?

Beyond the exact number of days you should read or the exact procedure, people are talking about a very in-depth kind of engagement in general. The point is that it's difficult to just come into a new space and know how it works without studying it.

For example, I talk about oldschool fanfic stuff a lot. A logical default assumption is that I'm a woman. Are you not familiar enough with fanfic spaces to assume that, or are you coming from Spacebattles or something?

Why on earth would you default to 'him'?

I'm not insulted: it just shows a staggering lack of clue about the context you found me in.

I've linked you to my patreon where you can see my pro writing pseudonym, which is obviously female. My tumblr itself links to my pro writing and gives my actual name, which is also fairly obviously feminine. I've also recently talked about being pregnant. Yes, it was oblique and I only confirmed it in the replies, not a top-level post, but plenty of regulars noticed. (Yes, yes, biology is not gender, but still...)

There are plenty of clues I'm not a "him", but you missed them all. I don't care about pronouns, but I do care about people who don't bother to or aren't capable of reading closely.

Quite a few people have sent me asks asking what I'm watching. I have repeatedly said that it's DMBJ and described it as "the Chinese tomb raider franchise". Yet you assumed it was Korean for some reason. This suggests that you just scrolled through quickly and did not actually thoroughly read the text of the posts or the replies. It suggests that your eyes skipped over the boring-looking short text posts in between the picspams.

It suggests you didn't bother to google what I was watching when I did say the name because you don't give enough of a shit to bother. That doesn't suggest a very high level of interest in my blog or any reason I should cut you any slack or pay attention to what you think.

It also suggests that you didn't look back all that far. I've been posting a lot about DMBJ, but I only started downloading Ultimate Note on July 15th and Tomb of the Sea on August 1st.

If you want to understand a community, scrolling hurriedly through one month of content and not actually reading it closely is insufficient.

This is what people mean when they say you're not willing to put in the work and want other people to do it for you.

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viofficial · 1 year ago

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[id: a digital illustration of mizuki akiyama and mafuyu asahina. they are standing in place, looking at the viewer, wearing a black dress. part of the dress is see through, specifically the sleeves, that are also decorated with black flowers. mizuki is smiling whilst mafuyu has a surprised look on her face. The background behind them is white with brown splotches and sticks with fruit on them. end id].

hello everyone !! this is prolly one of my first analysis posts, at least on this acc. I’ll be using screenshots from the game to illustrate my points, and separate the post into sections, as well as providing image descriptions and plain text for low vision ppl!! I will also be using she/they for mizuki and he/she for mafuyu, so if u dont like that then shoo. they r transfem (mizuki) and transmasc (mfy) respectively. Also spoilers for most of the events so uhh u shouldnt be reading this if u didnt read all of the mfy or mizu focused events. without furtho ado, let’s start!

Hiding One’s True Self

[plain text: hiding one’s true self. end plain text].

this is kind of an obvious observation, and it’s ofc for diff reasons, but both mafuyu and mizuki hide aspects of themselves to both niigo and the world. mafuyu’s is more subconscious, while mizuki is (for the most part) aware that she hides herself, esp from niigo. they’re both in a situation where it’s difficult to get out of, mfy with her abusive mother, and how her mother pressures her to conform and mold to how everyone, including her classmates, wants her to be. he’s seen as the perfect daughter, the perfect student, with no interests, opinions, anything of his own. mizuki, on the other hand, is very clearly transfem which i am not accepting critique on, and because she goes to great lengths to express her gender identity, even going so far as to change from the male school uniform to the female school uniform, ppl ridicule them, which causes them to not have many friends, esp not ones to freely talk abt their gender with. mizu’s relationship to ena mirrors mafuyu’s relationship with kanade, and they both serve as support to mfy and mizuki respectively. they specifically focus on wanting mfy and mizu to become their true selves, with kanade going so far to try to “save” mafuyu (which i have a Lot of opinions on but thats another analysis for another day). in the song samsa, from the event immiscible discord, there are lines sung by mizuki and mfy at the same time which further highlight these similarities, and go into what’s going on in the narrative.

[id: a screenshot of lyrics, several color coded text in front of a black background. Kaito’s lines are outlined in blue, mafuyu’s in purple, ena’s in beige, mizuki’s in pink, kanade’s in red. some colors are combined, such as mafuyu and mizuki, kanade and ena, and kaito, kanade and ena. The lyrics read: It throbs, throbs, throbs (I throb in pain)

It aches, aches, aches (it aches, aches)

It throbs, throbs, throbs (I throb in pain)

It throbs, throbs, it aches

Change...

Throbbing, throbbing, throbbing painfully

Everyone barely escapes with their souls

It throbs, throbs, throbs

Eaten away by all the pain and the wranglers–taratta

But even so, I wonder why it still

Throbs, throbs, throbs (throbbing painfully)

It's as if you're biting into the apple, Sa-sa-Samsa

end id].

as u can see, mizuki and mfy are the only ones who sing the lines “i throb in pain,” “it throbs, it throbs, it throbs,” and “but even so, i wonder why it still.” kaito also joins in with singing the line, “it’s as if you’re biting the apple, sa-sa-samsa.” kaito is a manifestation of someone who’s trying to tell mafuyu the truth of his mother’s intentions, which mirrors meiko’s role in the event my footprints, your destination. while this event was a kanade and mfy focus, i have every reason to believe the song also parallels mizuki’s issues. while mfy and mizuki have sought refuge in niigo, they still are unable to fully open up. mfy feels she’s unable to become her true self and stand up to her mother, while mizuki is unable to disclose her trans identity. which brings me to my next point.

Refuge

[plain text: refuge. Plain text].

after a while of working with niigo, both mfy and mizu find a safe haven with kanade and ena, enough to be able to open up to them slightly. this is indicated in the videos of two events–and now, the ribbon is tied, and secret distance, two mizuki centric stories–that i’m about to share. it also shows how in a way, she relates to mfy’s struggle and feelings re: niigo.

[ENG] And Now, the Ribbon is Tied - chapter 1 [Project Sekai event story]

when mfy mentions she feels at ease when working with niigo, mizuki takes note of it. she later says, near the end of the chapter, that they feel like they’re the same as mfy and think abt their past self.

[Project Sekai] Event Story - Secret Distance [ENG Sub]

in this event, mizuki realizes that while they make music together, they don’t rlly know each other. so they set up an outing for the group to bond whilst stepping outside their comfort zone. after the outing, mizuki realizes how important they are to her, and how she finally feels like she’s found friends she feels comfortable with, enough to say she wants to do this next year.

Relationship w/ School

[plain text: relationship with school. end plain text].

it’s said now and then that because of mizuki’s trauma, they consistently skip school. while mafuyu consistently goes to school unlike the rest of niigo, it’s clear he doesn’t like it and would rather make music with his friends and forge his own career path. when he had to go to cram school, he instead skipped school to be with her friends at fenilan.

[ENG] Guiding a Lost Child to What Lies Beyond - chapter 5: The lost heart

Running From One’s Problems

[plain text: running from one’s problems. End plain text].

[video description: the music video for kitty by niigo. Mizuki is wearing a black hat as well as an entirely black outfit, her hair down. Her fingers are curled like a cat’s claws. The layout looks like a camera on one’s phone, the options being mizuki, mafuyu, ena, len, and kanade. The video switches to mizuki’s current self and middle school self. Mizuki’s past self wears a red male school uniform, a pink ribbon, and her hands are on her cheeks, staring in horror. Mafuyu wears a ponytail with her bangs swayed, wearing a blue and red sweatshirt. Her child self has longer hair and holds a stuffed bunny. The video ends with len, who wears a sweatshirt and makes the same pose as mizuki. end video description].

before i get into that… lets take a break to see THIS part in kitty bc???? Oh my god???

okay anyway lets get into the most recent-ish (bc saying goodbye to my masked self has recently come out) event, our escape for survival. in this event, niigo is trying to find a way to help mfy and reach her as her laptop and synthesizer has been confiscated. throughout the story, mizuki compares her situation to mafuyu’s, and while it’s not the same, they still have similar while also having opposite issues. when they have a conversation with luka, she comes up with an idea to help mafuyu, as she does smth similar. during the hangout with mafuyu the next day, she tells him that it’s okay to run away, which ends up happening in goodbye to my masked self. while mizuki says that it doesn’t solve problems, i do feel like it mirrors mizuki’s situation, albeit in a different way. mizuki skips school and refuses to tell niigo abt their transness, just like mafuyu who initially couldn’t accept her mother being abusive, and chose to live in denial until kaito and the rest call her out. mizuki can’t accept the fact that others are able to love her for who she is, and so hides that aspect of herself.

[id: mizuki akiyama’s “the words i can only convey” untrained card, from the event our escape for survival. They look at the viewer, smiling whilst surrounded by lights and a crowd of people. End id].

Conclusion

[plain text: conclusion].

so yeah!! I feel like their dynamic is severely underappreciated and underwritten, and i’m so glad our escape for survival highlighted their parallels even more. i rlly hope that the game and the fandom thought abt them more, and not just in a ship sense, bc theyre a lot similar than u think. also purple and pink go so well together LMFAO also i love their area/side story convos. Like:

[id: screenshot of “a moment of jest” second side story that reads:

Mafuyu – “Amia. Why do you care so much about me? K promised to compose a song that will save me. But neither you nor Enanan have any reason to care about me that much. So... why?”

Mizuki – “Why, huh...? Don't be such a stranger. We're friends, aren't we?”

Mafuyu – “Friends? I thought we were only members of the same songmaking group?”

Mizuki – “Don't worry about it. I'm doing this because I want to. So you don't have to think too deeply into it.”

Mafuyu – “I see. I'll take your word for it, then.”

— "A Moment of Jest" second side story

End id].

[id: screenshot of an area conversation in the empty sekai that reads:

Mizuki – “Huh? What are you doing here in the afternoon? Don't you have school?”

Mafuyu – “We have tests all week, so we only have half days. What about you? Are you skipping class again?”

Mizuki – “No, I actually came to school today. Class was just super boring, so I decided to come here♪”

Mafuyu – “Hehe. In other words, you're skipping. Maybe I should let Miku know so she'll send you back.”

Mizuki – “Huh?! Oh, hey! How about we write some music together?! What do you think? Sounds fun, right?”

— Area Conversation in Empty SEKAI

end id].

Yes i got this from the mizumafu shipping wiki don’t judge me fhdjkghfhj but yeah!! Lemme know what u think in the replies, i love discussion esp discussion of these characters. And if i missed anything pls let me know, i’m willing to correct/edit some things!! anyway byebye stan mafuyu and mizuki they r . transmasc transfem solidarity <3 (heart)

#HERES THE POST GO CRAZY GUYS #nobody asked for this but idc this is for me and me only #sorry non proseka mutuals #proseka #pjsekai #project sekai #project sekai colorful stage #mizuki akiyama #mafuyu asahina #mizumafu #analysis post #id in alt #analysis tag #scratching post

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theintrovertbean · 1 year ago

Text

My statement about the drama

Hello!

This post will be about the whole Rai drama that they orchestrated against @asrabounding. But first, I would kindly ask anyone who hasn't read the post by @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia, aka brainrot, to do so. It can be quite triggering, so please, be mindful of that and make sure to put yourself first. The same warning applies to my own post.

First, I want to apologize. I did bad stuff, and I've been doing my best to mend my mistakes. I'm very sorry about the things I've done, but especially about the things I could have prevented. My friends got hurt because of something I was a part of and could have avoided if I wasn't scared to stand up for others and myself.

This is going to be a long post. Sorry about that too, but this whole drama was simply a lot.

Brainrot's part perfectly sums up what happened, but since I was there from the beginning of the drama, it would be fair to add some things from my own POV. It isn't nearly as professional as brainrot's statement, and it's more about my personal experience, which I think shows how this drama affected the well-being of the people involved. Again, this is my experience, but we all share the feelings.

The first time I posted from this account on Tumblr was in July 2022, and Rai reached out to me on November 1. Apparently, I was too intimidating, but as it turns out, Rai just needed me (and other people) for their plans. They specifically wanted to involve mainly Nadia fans, so it was only a matter of time before they messaged me.

Why Nadia fans, you might ask? Well, we could sit here all night and take guesses because no one knows for certain. Rai only pretended to like Nadia (because wanting to kill her is enough proof that they didn't like her), so their reason must have been something psychological. But again, we can't know for certain. Sadly, their actions put us Nadia fans in a bad light, and their friendship was never genuine.

I have a guess that Rai had been stalking a few bigger creators for a while and just waiting for one of them to make a mistake. Asrabounding (AB from now on) happened to be the unlucky one.

Honestly, I didn't know AB at all. We never interacted, and the first time I ever heard about him was through Rai. At the beginning of December 2022, Rai told our server about AB and how he and his girlfriend were harassing their "boi," Panda, who was completely incapable of taking care of himself, at least according to Rai.

I spoke to Panda a few times during the drama; he is nothing like Rai described, which You can tell by the screenshots as well. He is overly friendly and tends to overshare, and I would say he is pure evil, but that adjective would be far too generous in his case. I also have to add that there is no evidence of Rai and Panda being two different people. I've looked through my DMs, and a few servers that Rai is/was in and found zero traces of them ever having a conversation. I also asked around, and no one has ever seen these two interact with each other. Once, we even asked Rai to invite Panda to their server because we all wanted to get to know him, but they immediately refused, saying he is too soft and all kinds of weird things to say about one's partner. I suppose it would be hard to text from two accounts simultaneously.

The private server that Rai created was made in November, around the time when the drama began. It's crucial to mention that none of us knew AB. This allowed Rai to portray AB however they wanted.

There are screenshots in the pdf from the DMs between Rai and me. They told me quite a few things but purposefully left out important details. The screenshots Rai sent me were always sent in a way that would make AB seem like the worst person to ever exist. I (and the server) also received altered versions of AB's art, which were edited in a way to make it seem like AB was making Asra whiter or orange. Additionally, Rai maliciously gathered personal information about AB and his loved ones, which is both legally and morally wrong.

The call-out blog happened and didn't gain much attention, which was quite disappointing to Rai, but failure didn't stop them. They recruited more people for the sole purpose of hurting AB. We retreated to Rai's server until the previous drama, where Rai popped up every once in a while to stir up our anger and disturb our conversations.

Then we arrive at the latest drama. Rai's efforts paid off. One of our friends did a call-out post, and things went crazy. I don't have to describe what happened because it's in brainrot's statement, but there is one thing that I really want to highlight. Rai did nothing. Everything we did was because of them and their "boi," and they just watched us all get burned.

At some point, brainrot presented us with an opportunity to make peace with AB. Two of us even volunteered to talk to him, myself included. Rai didn't even react while everyone else was looking forward to ending the drama. Actually, Rai was unusually quiet. They gave us an excuse for being less active and just left us to deal with their mess.

When brainrot left, I almost immediately reached out to him for two reasons. 1. He is my friend. I was concerned about his well-being and wanted to make sure he was alright. 2. I was physically and mentally sick of the drama and considered leaving the server myself. There were days when I could barely function because of the anxiety I felt. I was a mess. Everyone was, but never Rai. I felt like I was in the middle of a battlefield, watching my friends get slaughtered while the person behind it all, Rai, was having the time of their life far away in a luxury tent. I desperately wanted to end that.

On multiple occasions, I muted the server for hours and sometimes even days because I could not deal with Rai. There was a clear hierarchy, and Rai would constantly try to compete with us and bring us down. Everyone else was behaving like normal human beings, and then Rai would randomly show up to pollute the air with their "hee hoos" and disturbing stories they claimed were true.

The same person who said they were gathering courage for months to text me never showed any care, remorse, or fear during our nine months of "friendship." Also, the very same person would go around texting random people on Tumblr, checking how intelligent and "mentally stimulating" (they said that, not me) they are, and trying to figure out if they hate Dorian and/or Asrabounding. They were also looking for people in a more vulnerable position, such as those who were new to the fandom and/or lonely. When everything on the list was ticked off, Rai invited them to their server. For privacy reasons, I'm not going to say an exact number, but about ten of us were "recruited."

Brainrot and I talked a bit, we both vented, and we eventually reached the point where I said that I would talk to AB just to end this madness. And so I did with brainrot's help, even though it horrified me, but I knew I had to do it for others. I expected AB to be just as Rai presented him to us, but he wasn't. The AB I was talking to was kind, understanding, cooperative, and tired of everything that had been going on. It often made me wish I met AB sooner than Rai. Our conversations with AB were and still are civil and friendly, and I am nothing but thankful to him. We compared our notes, then brainrot and I went back to DMs for a while to discuss everything.

We realized that 1. Everything Rai said about AB was a lie, and Rai just wanted to hurt him. 2. Rai lied to us and used several manipulation tactics on us. 3. Our friends were unsafe.

To include a lie, once, Rai texted me to ask if I wanted to know their legal name. They told me that they were named after a character from an anime. Later, I found from a friend that Rai told her their name too. It was from the same anime but a different character's name. This was just one example.

So we made a plan, and we had to act fast. I quickly gathered a few screenshots from the server that we could use, then we texted everyone involved about the news. Thank gayness, everything instantly clicked for the vast majority of our friends. It was tough, exhausting, and very emotional. Being betrayed by someone we considered a friend was no joke. Honestly, have never felt so much anxiety in my life. It was suffocating.

Then, three of us deleted every channel in Rai's server (every member had maximum permissions). In the meantime, we made a server of our own, a safe place where we could heal together, continue our friendship, and discuss what we were going to do next.

And that's how we got to brainrot's post. I created a document and put in whatever screenshots I had from Rai's server and my DMs. Then I asked everyone to send me all the screenshots they wanted us to include, and I put those in too. That pdf is the fruit of multiple days of work and immeasurable disgust. Even putting it together almost made me throw up more than once. It was available to everyone involved (our friends and AB as well) from start to finish. They were all free to make edits, give suggestions, and add screenshots if they wanted. AB added the anons he received and a bunch of other screenshots. Brainrot wrote his statement, and I did the group's, which is one of the reasons I didn't want to make another one. In the meantime, we found out more about Rai, and it was not pretty; the screenshots prove it all.

This wasn't the first time Rai tried to take someone down, and they bragged about it multiple times. They were also quite proud of how they were able to manipulate people. I mean, just look at what they said about how they got together with their "boi." We know of two people in the fandom who were hurt by Rai. From what I know, unlike AB, they weren't content creators. My assumption is that doing the same thing over again wasn't giving Rai the same thrill anymore, so they wanted to target someone bigger. Bigger drama = more pleasure for Rai.

There was one person who got kicked from the server because they didn't hate Lucio. Rai provoked them to make them act out of character, which resulted in a kick and ban. There were others that Rai wanted to kick out but didn't because they were still needed for the drama.

The things Rai sometimes said about characters and the people who like them were sickening. They constantly described Lucio as a mass murderer and a r*pist and harassed anyone who didn't agree with their opinions. Rai also headcanoned that Lucio SAd Nadia during their marriage. And a lot of other things...

We had to tiptoe around Rai all the time because being kicked out of the server wouldn't have been a big deal, but being separated from our friends against our will was not something any of us wanted. That small but loving community we created for ourselves (Rai excluded) was why we stayed on that server in the first place.

But also, we were scared. Whenever Rai was present, they turned us into an angry mob. I don't know when we started to feel this way, but we were uncomfortable and wanted out. However, when we looked at each other, the angry mob was all we could see. Even when an individual was in doubt, the others still put on their angry mask, and that one person felt alone. I often felt like that too, but we all knew what Rai was capable of. We were already hurting, and we didn't want to unleash the angry mob against us. If Rai were to come after any of us, they would most definitely twist everything in a way to make themselves seem like the victim(s).

Soon after the server was gone and I was no longer talking to Rai, I realized that the hate I once felt wasn't my own.

Once again, I'm sorry about what happened. We all are. I apologize for the hurt I caused to everyone and take full responsibility for my actions. I never intended for things to escalate things this far, and I regret everything I've done. The things we did were not done with a clear mind. If it wasn't for Rai and their mind games, none of us would have done anything like this.

And Azi, I'm especially sorry to you. Despite everything we've done, you treated us with kindness and worked together with us to make the fandom a safer place. You have no idea how much this means. I'm thankful for the chance of getting to know the real you.

I also apologize to my followers for bringing drama onto my blog. While I'm open to questions about what happened, I would like to get back to writing my silly little headcanons like I did before. I'm an open book, but simping for Nadia is why I made this blog in the first place. The good thing is that now I'm able to do the things I've always wanted without Rai constantly reminding me why this and that is so bad. And who knows, maybe you'll see me bring some Nadia content to a different platform as well...

Our friend group, I apologize to you as well because I didn't protect you when I could have. Things would have been different if I wasn't so scared.

Azi, Brainrot, and friends. Thank you for everything. Your support and cooperation helped all of us through these hard times, and I hope we can continue to heal together.

I don't expect forgiveness from anyone because what happened is truly horrible. While countless lies and manipulation were involved, a simple apology won't undo the harm we caused. We have been doing our best to make up for our mistakes and will continue to do so in the future as well. However, please, please be careful. Rai is still a threat, so if you see them anywhere, just run. Protect yourselves and, if you can, others as well. Please, stay safe and learn from our horrible mistakes.

-Eszter

#the arcana #arcana #notaguyrai #rai drama #drama #the arcana game #arcana game #nadia satrinava #portia devorak #count lucio #julian devorak #muriel of the kokhuri #asra alnazar

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alasy · 9 months ago

Text

I have a friend who I barely speak to, we communicate almost exclusively through memes and laughs. He graduated and didn't tell anyone, he's almost finishing his masters and I just found out he had even started at the program because he was telling me he's probably going to the states for a few months. We tell each other big things, though it's on our metrics. I watched him defend his thesis two years ago through zoom, even though I could not comprehend a word I stayed until the end. We're always texting each other "MOON!!!!" to tell the other to go outside and look at her, despite living in different states. He bought me the first volume of my favorite manga and a shark suit because he saw it and it reminded him of me. Sometimes it takes me months to text him back (it happens quite often), but he's always the chilliest about it and never made me feel remotely guilty not even once. I send him reels, screenshots, twitter links and tumblr posts, all through text, because he only has discord and nothing else. I kept asking him to create an instagram profile for my own commodity to send him reels with more ease. Everytime he laughed and said that he would. "One day". A few weeks ago, the day came and he sent me the link of his profile. "I promise to try to check on it as often as I can." It has his nick ingame and not his name, no profile picture, nothing. It's been weeks and he still follows only my account. I send him reels there and he sends me memes i have no idea where he finds. He replies faster than I do, and it's insane to think of it because he does not have the app downloaded on his phone, which means he keeps purposefully remember and goes check if I, specifically, sent anything.

I have a friend who I barely speak to, but still, he is one of the most truthful friends I've ever had.

#on friendship

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guzhufuren · 1 year ago

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hello hello not expecting u to 100% tell but also w he re do u find incorrect/text posts for ur meme gifs they are always so funny and on point(+if its by pinterest what do u even look it up as??) do have a good day week and job ur v funny and cool<33

hi darling!! thank you so much 🥺 my poor heart almost gave out on these compliments! yeah, it's no trouble, i can tell you how i find them!! basically i'm a professional tumblr diver but i'm gonna explain techniques in a more detailed way

technique 1. gold miners

you see a cool fun text post on your dash that has less than 5000 notes; you go in the tags and scroll to the very beginning of reblog chains; there you will find the people who somehow always find the best freshly birthed text posts; choose the people who tagged it as some variation of "#text post", "#txt" or they tagged it as "#x-character-core/coded" or even better, they tagged it as their oc - go to their blog and look through that tag, usually you will find a treasure mine of text posts; if all the posts you immediately see are well known and you saw them all over your dash already, then go back and start diving on the next person's blog through the tags and keep doing it until you are out of tagger rebloggers; when you find good text posts you gotta screenshot them (try to think ahead - maybe there is a show coming out in the near future that will fit this text post)

visual example: i always have various non-popular text posts in my queue that i will dive in later when i have the time. like these

technique 2. oc and character tags again

you find a post that perfectly fits your blorbos but it has much more than 5000 notes so it's impossible to check all the rebloggers - that's fine, once again go in the notes for blog diving; start from the top and find specifically someone who tagged this post as their oc or their favourite character - that's your new source; go through the tag and it will certainly have text posts/tweets that fit your blorbo as well

visual example: i found this post for Pete and his poor burnt balls, one day i'm gonna go through it to see other people's blorbos who have suffered in a similar way, and i'm sure there will be lots of petecore stuff on their blogs

technique 3. porn blogs are your best friend when it comes to mature tv shows

find one, just one, good funny very sexual text post and go in the tags for to see which mature bloggers reblogged it using a tagging system; it can be them categorising it as "#text post" or similar, it can be them sorting posts by kink so pay attention to tags like "#petplay" "#collars" and etc, you will be able to find lots of funny sexy posts the deeper you search through their tags

visual example: see, this post has only 1500 notes, so when i will go in the tags of it i will find approximately 10-15 people who tagged it well enough for me to scroll through their tagged reblogs and find other good stuff

technique 4. when you are done with any of techniques explained above, choose best blogs to follow

while you dive in random tumblr users' blogs you will for sure stumble upon blogs that reblog amazing rare text posts; follow them and see what other gems they can bring to your dash in the future

other tips for people who make text post memes

- THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE! make sure the text screenshot that you placed on a picture/gif is large enough to be readable both on mobile and on web. check it on every gadget. i have really bad vision and squinting my eyes at the phone makes my head hurt, so i never look at memes that i can't read right away without zooming in. make them easily readable!!

- choose one style of screenshots of the text posts. it can be web screenshots, it can be mobile browser tumblr screenshots, if can be tumblr app screenshots. choose one and stick to it always, it will make your memes look neat. i always make screenshots of text posts on the tumblr app, then i put them all on a 750 pixel wide canvas, scale them down to 360 pixel width and copy paste them to 540 pixel wide pictures of blorbos. so we get something like this:

have fun, please write me again if anything i explained is confusing, i'm not great with words <333

#tips #asks #mine #photoshop #<<< for my personal tagging purposes

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luxoraeterna · 3 months ago

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not op of that post, but to explain a little on the bisexual/transphobic discourse comment:

you wrote “And more broadly, it demonstrates that the bisexuality that I experience is as gender diverse as the people I associate with.”

the original post was about trans women explicitly, and saying “i like trans women who don’t pass because im bisexual” is kinda saying trans women who don’t pass aren’t real women, or are a third “middle” gender. there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to androgynous gender presentations, but that’s different from being attracted to trans women, or even nonbinary people or trans men or whoever. gender =\= presentation.

i would genuinely recommend spending time reflecting on your perceptions of trans women. i worked through this by following a lot of trans women who talk about how they experience transmisogyny and listening to them nonjudgementally. if you want to be a safe person for trans women to love and be around, you have to do that reflection.

Homie I am literally married to a transgender woman (who loves me like worms love dirt). I am friends with almost exclusively trans people in my friend groups.

We are clearly not having the exact same background or experience as you. Your experiences are not universal, including the things that you think make me a "bad" trans person or whatever lol. I am an adult in a community with other trans adults and we find that expressing sexuality, with and among each other, even in ways that aren't as sanitized or cut-and-dried as you'd like them to be, is a core element of our identity. We are ok with fetishizing and sexualizing each other, that may or may not be a related experience that you understand or practice, but it doesn't mean you're doing it "the right way" and I'm not lol.

In fact, I would argue that I don't like your methodology around the statement about trans women who don't pass. Masculine women exist. Cis and trans, masculine women exist. It's... not bad to be a woman and identify yourself with traits of masculine physicality. I know this is terf rhetoric, but a lot of (not always bad but usually just misguided) young trans people online have "masculine is a dirty word" brainrot. I have known a beautiful bunch pre-hrt trans women who have masculine features. They deserve to be loved and shown that they can be sexy, even if they wish to keep their "masculine" features and not transition, I will always see them as women and they are still valid. I find it a little odd that it seems like everyone starting shit with me about that post assumes that it's because I just don't "talk to trans women" or whatever. I've been helping trans women in my life feel validated with their identity for years. Some of them have higher natural testosterone and have severe gender dysphoria about it. Maybe *you* should talk to people outside of your Tumblr echo chamber to unlearn some of the gender purity brainrot that can and will affect dysphoric masculine trans women around you. It's okay to be trans women and embrace/love yourself in spite of masculine features. It's not good that you associate "masculine" with remorse and badness by default.

Furthermore, while we are on the topic of that post: I wanted to offer a quick defense of myself because that one person effectively framed me and probably has a bunch of people convinced that I'm a perverted chaser or some shit. It looks that way at least. I don't care what these people who don't know me at all think. But I do see how offense could be taken about me "missing the point" or whatever. When I reblogged the post, my tags specifically were a personal addendum to the original text in the post. The first reply on that post, contrasted with the screenshot of my tags, makes me look like a bad guy and I understand that. Yes, I know you can remove reblogs and replies when reblogging a post. I didn't remove the second reply because I didn't want to potentially silence anyone who maybe does have an alternate perspective from the background of trans people who don't like being sexualized. That is my rationale behind a 2-second decision to keep their reply, and I realize now that that was a mistake.

#people keep starting beef with me as im so evil and then when i explain why im not bad ppl just get so mad lol #its ok nobody likes being told why theyre wrong on the Opinions Thunderdome (the internet)

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autisticgirliesbracket · 2 years ago

Text

What makes Futaba Sakura from Persona 5 the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Futaba-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Futaba in the bottom left corner. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"She’s a hikkikomori and a hacker genius. She initially has bad social anxiety due to trauma and does not leave her room."

"She's just like me fr fr (im autistic girlie)"

"Generally described as being incredibly introverted and socially anxious, however having no problem opening up if the conversation is about something that interests her. She also has a deep interest in hacking and computers (if the protagonist claims to have built his own PC, she asks for the specific details on it, such as GPU, CPU, RAM, ect.) There are more details I feel are autistic but I'm not sure how to word them !!"

"Talks in Video Game references and wired expressions. At one point she leaves a conversation because an Anime she wanted to watch was on. Helped me come to terms with my own Autism. Covered her face with a weird mask and a towel (separate events) because she didn't want to show her face in Public. Gets pissed off that someone messes with the her Neo Featherman Figure (basically the Persona equivalent of Power Rangers or Super Sentai). Overall just a massive nerd."

"First of all: The way she sits . little gremlin girl. Second of all. Social awkwardness (she has SO MUCH). Third. She's 15 years old and an international hacker, i mean come on, you cant DO THAt unless youre at least a little autistic. 4. Constantly tries to wear things over her head to avoid being looked at. Five. Her room is the dirtiest place on the planet, filled with snacks and figurines etc. Sixth. Look come on please shes autistic"

"She has social anxiety, doesn't really understand social norms and relates a lot of her real life experiences to video games. She also hyperfixates on the things she's working on and says a lot of strange things without thinking about it."

"Futaba is intensely afraid of social interaction (living in her room for years, unable to exit the house without a meltdown), including her almost constantly wearing headphones (which, to be, read as sensory comfort items). She's only really comfortable around her close friends and family, around who she becomes a lot more excitable and energetic. She has deep and passionate interests in the things she loves, and tends to become hyper focused on whatever shes tasked herself with, even neglecting her own health during which. It's very easy to equate her love of video games to a special interest, as it influences the way she sees the world, to the point where she calls the main character her "key item", since he helps her agoraphobia, saying she needs to "level up" to improve her social skills. To top it all off, her voice actress, Erica Lindbeck, has stated that she played Futaba as if she was autistic."

"Girl had so much autism stored in her body."

"It is very obvious in nearly everything she does that they intended for her to be autistic. Literally just watch almost any cutscene with her and you'll see it (well. Ideally after her palace is taken care of since she's going through stuff and the 'tism is less obvious as a result)"

"she is soooo autism girlswag coded. When you first befriend her and hang out, the characters all have trouble sort of connecting with her, but once they realize they are being way too obnoxiously formal/normal they start asking her about stuff she is interested in, which then she talks very excitedly about. Im sort of passively watching someone play persona 5 so i might have gotten something wrong but eee she is so coded to me <3 and not in a bad way imo ik sometimes things can be TOO stereotypical but yknow yknow"

"Struggles with social interactions, special interest in computers and video games, her English voice actor intentionally played her with the idea that she's autistic."

"She's obsessed with and so good with computers she was a world reknowned hacker before the story even began, she struggles with interacting with people and was bullied through out her entire childhood for being "weird" and being able to memorize books and other things. Her outfits almost always include her wearing headphones (which i personally hc to be to reduce sounds) and there are scenes where she experiences sensory overload that turns into panic attacks. A lot of her character arc is about how after a personal tragedy she completely isolated herself from the outside world and now shes trying to ease back into interacting with people with the support of her family and new friends. When trying to connect with her, the quickest way they got her to relax and open up was when one character got her talking about an in universe sentai show she loves. Also her English voice actor said in interviews that she performed Futaba with her being autistic in mind because everything abt her character just reads as autistic and seeing someone struggle w the same issues I did was super important to me when i got into p5."

"Futaba is incredibly autistic-coded. She couldn’t leave her room or speak to strangers due to trauma, but she also was “quirky” before the trauma. She’s a computer genius and can get so obsessed with her work that she doesn’t hear or acknowledge other people. She wears headphones almost all the time and sits with her knees up (odd posture). Lastly, her mother was known to also be “odd” and was also very absorbed in her work. Autism is often inherited, so my personal read is that both of them are autistic. I’m missing lots of things I’m sure but she’s the best."

"All of her interests are special <3, major social anxiety, partially nonverbal (just like me fr), one of the only people she's constantly jokingly mean to is also very autistic coded which idk if that's a me experience but i can only be joke mean to other autistic people. allistics wouldn't understand. She cannot sit properly!!! Very important she has that autistic ball sitting position"

"She’s a genius hacker nerd who up until certain events in the game never left her room or her house due to trauma. She’s gets nervous and overwhelmed very easily once she starts expanding her comfort zone, but she doesn’t let that stop her. At certain points when she has to interact with people she isn’t comfortable with she puts on a disturbing doll head mask. At one point she has a miniature meltdown in the middle of a crowded store, because she tried pushing her boundaries a little too fast and got overwhelmed until the protagonist was able to find her. She loves anime and collects figurines and gets annoyed when her display of them is messed with. Her personality is socially awkward and kind of bratty when she’s comfortable and I don’t mean that in a negative way at all, she’s great!"

"very bad with people, obsessed with programing and Nerd Shit, i love her and she is very cool"

"she has a massive special interest in technology, her entire character arc is helping her learn to socialize, she sits like a GREMLIN"

"she is a epic hacker gamer girl so we are within the margins for trans and autism, she has a hard time with eye contact, she has intense social anxiety and wahooooooo she has the special interests !! on a side note she has chronic fatigue so damn just like me fr!! and shes so fun!! ack!!!" End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #persona 5 #futaba sakura

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