#obviously this is my take on things we can barely see
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lunajay33 ¡ 18 hours ago
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Fated
•🪵🦅🍂🤎•
Summary: You grew up being bestfriends with Sam and Dean as your mother would usually help hunt with their dad, but when you find yourselves at college together things change, especially when Dean takes him back hunting
Pairing: Sam Winchester x f!reader
Warning: Pregnant
•Masterlist•
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Ever since I was a kid I’ve had a die hard crush on Sam, whenever our parents would hunt together they’d leave the three of us in a motel room while they worked a case, it was hard not to fall for Sam he was always so kind and treated me like gold, then eventually we started going to college together both of us were outcasted by our families for doing so, we moved in together for support as we worked in our dreams
Along the way we both confessed
“Sam I know this is your place too but I don’t want you being girls home anymore”
“Why not? Are you jealous?”
“So what if I am, I can’t bare to see you with someone else Sam can’t you see how much I love you?”
And from then on we’ve been attached at the him, any chance he got his hands were placed on me lovingly, as I finished getting ready for bed I pulled on one of his shirts and a pair of sleeping shorts, quickly going to our room and jumping in next to him as I cuddle up close
“I love you Angel” he whispered as he placed a kiss to my check squeezing me closer
“And I love you, now let’s get to bed I’ve been feeling groggy all day
He shut off the lamp and he curled around me till I was completely enveloped by him, hearing the sound of his heartbeat lull me to sleep
•
I woke abruptly at the sound of a crash from downstairs, Sam awake next to me hearing the same thing
We both got our weapons and slowly made our way downstairs, covering each other incase this wasn’t just a plan human invader
Out of nowhere Sam is tackled to the floor and I’m stood there frozen, having been out of the hunting game so long I was actually scared now, before I heard a familiar laugh
“Dean what the hell are you doing here?” Sam groaned as he got up and stood back next to me holding me to his chest obviously noticing my fear
“If you aren’t a sight for sore eyes, missed you around Angel” Dean smirked looking me up and down
“Dean come on”
“Fine, dads missing, he’s been gone for a while now and won’t answer any calls”
“I can’t Dean I’ve got a life here now, I’ve got school and y/n, I can’t just leave”
“She can come too” he said as if I wasn’t even here
“It’s not just dad, it’s your parents too, they went out together” I look up at Sam worried, even if they kicked us out they were still family
“Sam…….” I whisper as he squeezes my hips
“What about school Angel?”
“It’s study break we can spare the week” he sighed in agreement and nodded at Dean, we go upstairs and pack
“I don’t you going” he says
“But I can help it’s my parents too”
“I know but I don’t want to risk your life”
“But…….i don’t wanna be alone” I confessed my fears of being on my own since I’ve always had someone around especially knowing what lurks out there
“It’ll only be a week and I’ll be right back I promise” I knew I couldn’t convince him other wise
“Okay but……call me and please be safe Sam”
“Always am” he kissed me goodbye before him and Dean were gone, the familiar sound of the Chevy impala rumbling away
•
The week went by fast and I was so excited for him to come back, there was a weird feeling around our place and I couldn’t shake it
I pick up the phone and call hoping he’ll be on the other end saying he’s right around the corner
“Hello angel” his voice was higher than usual
“Hey everything okay? Are you coming back now?”
“About that ummm….we couldn’t find them but we got a lead we’re gonna follow it”
“But sam we’ve got school and I don’t feel right, I’m scared”
“What’s a little huntress like yourself got to be scared of” Dean chimed in
“I don’t know something doesn’t feel right, it’s been weird weather lately and I feel sick, I probably sound crazy” I felt like I was going insane
“You’re not crazy, remember last time you got the stomach flu you felt the same, maybe you just have to get some rest”
“Please don’t be gone much longer I love you Sam”
“I love you too”
•
He was gone a lot longer than we both thought, it’s been 4 months now and the calls got less frequent and I felt less important and soon after he left I found out the reason I was feeling sick was because I’m pregnant, I went to the doctors and they said I was about 2 months along, now I’m 6 months, and I’m a ball of stress I didn’t have the guts to tell him over the phone how could I when we barely talked and when we did it was quick just to check up before he had to go
I sat on the couch feeling like my life was flipped upside down so quick, why did Dean have to come back, sure he was great but he took the one thing I loved away, I hear a knock at the door breaking me from my thoughts
I got up my shirt too small as I only covered half my belly and my pajamas pant low on my hips, I walk over to the door and open it seeing Sam and Dean stood there with their father behind
“You’ve finally decided to come home” I sigh, of course I’m glad he’s okay but he left me for 4 months, I stepped aside as they all came in
They came in, Dean and John plopping down on the couch as Sam stood infront of me, his mouth hung open as he looked down at my round belly
“How…..when….why didn’t you tell me” he asked as his hands caressed my belly
“How could I we’ve barely talked and I can’t just spring that information on you over the phone”
“Sammy’s been having fun at college” Dean laughs then hearing John groan
“I told you I didn’t feel right” I say not being able to resist from running my hands through his hair as he pulls me into a tight hold
“I’m so sorry, I should’ve stayed, I can’t believe we’re having a baby”
“A baby girl” I whisper as I hear him gasp pulling back to look at me
“A girl…..a little girl” his voice shock and it warmed my heart
“Congrats Sammy” Dean smiled as he came over slapping him on the shoulder encouragingly, I’m sure John would come around he was just a grump
“Next time I’m coming with you, I’ll be damned if your leaving me and our baby girl”
“I wouldn’t dream of it”
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quxyivs ¡ 3 days ago
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HELOOOOO UR WORK IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING I LOVED THE CHAN ONE CAN YOU DO LIKE MORE ANGST 9th member LIKE TBH IM OUT OF IDEAS MYSELF MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE THE 9TH MEMBER GETS YELLED AT OR SMTH IM ABSOLUTELY 👍 stupid ANYWAYS U ATE
TY FOR THE REQ LUV!! THIS IDEA IS AMAZINGG
Mistakes
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OT8!Skz x 9th member reader (fem implied)
summary- During practice for a solo you keep messing up and everyone keeps yelling at you so you just go off the radar for days until they find you.
Trigger warning- Overworking, Bruises, Crying, Screaming, Use of Noona, cursing and a cliffhanger ( lmk if i missed anything)
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You were practicing over and over again. Your body was sore and stiff. You could barely do anything. You tried to move and you collapsed to the ground. The members were watching which made it worse. “Noona you need to take a break-“ “No she doesn’t. The last thing she needs is a break. Get up. Cmon we don’t got all day to watch you goof around” Minho said harshly cutting off Jeongin as Chan agreed. “You should’ve been had this down. Cmon go again.” You shakily tried to stand up but couldn’t and fell back down holding your bruised leg.
“God you can’t even stand?! I’m sorry but what are you even good for? This whole week you’ve been doing nothing right!! You couldn’t sing properly you couldn’t dance right either!! What’s not clicking in your tiny mind that we don’t have all fucking day to watch you fool around?!” Minho snapped and the others expect Han, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin joined in also scolding you.
Lazy this.
Lazy that.
Lazy. Lazy. Lazy.
“OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” You snapped catching everyone off guard. “Y/N THIS Y/N THAT!! IM FUCKING TRYING!! I AM!! MY LEG IS BRUISED!! I’VE BEEN PRACTICING ALL DAY WHILE BALANCING MY FAMILY ISSUES BUT YOU FOUR OBVIOUSLY DON’T CARE!! I- I HATE ALL OF YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!” As the words leave your mouth you look up to see everyone’s eyes widened in horror. It was definitely too late to go back now.
“..Felix take her home. Everyone go home. Now.” Chan said harshly causing everyone to pack up as Felix helped you up and took you home. He helped you into the shower and into the bed. “Y/n I-“ “Just leave..please..” You said weakly. Felix looked at your tired face and nodded before leaving. The moment he left you began crying loudly screaming how you were nothing and were ungrateful.
3 days had passed and no response from you. You didn’t show up to practice anymore and you didn’t call or text any of the members out of concern they go to your house to see you. Chan took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The door opens and… “I’m sorry I think you have the wrong house.” It was an older lady. Looked about 60-65. The boys looked at each other. “Where’s Y/N?? Y/N L/N?” Chan asked concern oozing throughout his tone. “She’s gone”
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IM SORRY BUT I FELT LIKE A CLIFFHANGER WAS DEFINITELY NECESSARY!! LMK IF U WANT A PART TWO<3
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kashilascorner ¡ 3 months ago
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Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.
All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much
#i liked rhe ending (though made the mistake to read comments so now I'm like 'yeah you are right that did not make sense' when on my own i#probably would not have noticed. but ok. I'll work my suspension of disbelief. HOWEVER the epilogue WAS indeed very lackluster#i get it's an epilogue but it was so rushed. we barely get a closure for ume and saichi and tanigaki did not get to#take asirpa back to uci as he should have (though he was instrumental for that). overall it was super rushed#like we did not even see how Sugimoto was rescued. the epilogue was faaaar too rushed tbh and also too vague in parts#siraishi not really saying goodbye.... also sugimoto and asirpa living together that's cute idc and i think the line into nastyness was not#crossed but oh boy is it a thin thread... i still choose to believe they are platonic soulmates lol but i want to see an official#translation of the volume that's all i say. what else... oh yes. the way the gold never got to actually be distributed doesn't sit right#with me at all but the worst part was definitely the sugimoto/ume thing oh god that was BAD#we did get to see osoma which was cute#OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON VASILY??? We didn't even see him. the epoligue for him in particular was great though but his ending was not#like he just hanged around ogata gor chapters and chapters on end and we don't even get a glimpse of him during the final showdown??#tbh i think noda wanted to do something more with him but realized he did not quite fit into the story and in the end got#caught up with all the main lines he did have to close and he obviously had planned and probably combined with his own exhaustion well#did not go nice for vasily! i also would have liked a more proper epilogue for tsukishima and koito. they deserved it#I don't like how pre-epilogue the tsukishima-tsurumi-koito tension seems to reach a breaking point only to kind of not get resolved because#they have to keep fighting lol.#laura reads#also i get the sentiment of the ending regarding the ainu and i think noda did his best but it seems like a rather soft thing for asirpa to#do like... sure. museums and stuff. i GET it but it goes a little too soft in the actual colonialism that went on from the japanese. i feel#noda starts off fairly critical of that but in the end softens his stance which is a shame but ok. the bar is in hell so this is actually#much better than average from what i can personally gather of my little knowledge#golden kamuy#gk spoilers
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heartual ¡ 5 months ago
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had such a good experience with surgery today i can’t even fully explain
#🍄.txt#i’m so happy that fuck ass doctor referred me to another doctor in the building because he was so nice and attentive#taking the time to explain things to me and make sure i was good#even said oh well if ur really uncomfortable we can always go to the operating room! :)#when the other doctor treated me like a nuisance the whole time and like some dumb child#well if you can’t sit still they’re going to have to put you under elsewhere 🙄#I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT IN THE BUILDING? SHE MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS INCONVENIENCING HER THE WHOLE TIME#i was asking a bunch of questions because knowing makes me feel less nervous and he answered everything so clearly even when my mom was#asking questions too#recommending me different medications to keep this from happening again etc etc etc#so fucking bare minimum for a doctor but it was so nice seriously i wish i could thank him again for making it a more#comfortable experience#he put numbing shots on the inside AND outside of my lid just in case we needed to go from the outside this time#and while it hurt obviously it was so much better than the single shot she gave me the first time three weeks ago#she told me this would be a much more extensive surgery and here i am with my eyelid barely swollen 😐#i could barely see with it open three weeks ago immediately after because it hurt too much and was so swollen#what the fuck how do you have such contrasting experiences with two people who literally work together in the same building#anyway bad doctor experiences are always so fucking bad but when you have a really good experience it just feels crazy and insane#like wow thank u for treating me like a person#did i mention i actually left with care instructions this time written out. and the medicine recommendations on a physical piece of paper#i didn’t even get that after surgery with her how is that not below bare minimum#like this actually surprised me. jesus christ
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beepmon ¡ 1 year ago
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i’m panicking about my health, my car, school, my future, my relationships with ppl, about my entire life rn p much
#bumbles (bee mumbles)#as much as i hated my dad i did feel a certain amount of security when i could rely on him for the few things i could#he was like a car necromancer#it would function but just kinda barely zombie like vers#and now that he’s passed almost all at once all the cars and things he’s fixed up are breaking#like he infused his soul into them and they no longer has his ecto goop to hold it together#i’ve been ignoring my health problems bc i really hate going to the dr#idk maybe it’s bc i’m fat but they always dismiss my problems and i really am not mentally strong enough to advocate for myself#i tell them i’m in pain and something is wrong and they do maybe two tests and say we can’t find anything bye#and so i just feel like an idiot for going#bc obviously i’m just making a big deal out of nothing#i don’t want to be doing school this semester after last semester i ended up in urgent care twice bc my stress got to my body so hard#i’m taking less classes/more classes i’m actually interested in#but i feel like i’m gonna fall apart horribly again and i just transferred and feel so aimless#but i also feel extremely obligated to go bc that was the last thing my dad wanted from me before he passed#i feel so fucking stupid his death has effected me so bad he was an abusive monster#i feel so disconnected from my sisters that i was super close with#i fee like i’m talking to a wall of past interactions and neither of us can see who we currently are#i feel like i can’t connect to the ppl around me#i’ve been disassociating too often i accidentally keep checking out which is pissing ppl off#i’m so tired and fatigued and depressed that ppl can’t really rely on my and i fee useless and like a drain#plus i just feel so scared all the time recently like all the worst case scenarios are plaguing me#like scared my car is going to explode or my cat is going to have a heart attack or ppl died while traveling or some freak accident
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trans-leek-cookie ¡ 1 year ago
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someone talking about the ways media and common tropes/depictions of things that are either explicitly or implicitly linked to marginalized people are demonized and presented badly is not a fucking opportunity for you to flex how you're doing it Differently And Better
#I'll rb the post but I domt want to add it on cause it feels. Not my place maybe#Anyway fun fact! You can think that all you fucking want! Close your God damn mouth about it and figure out if it actually adds to the#Conversation! Marginalized ppl don't have to hear about how you're hashtag Not Like The Others!!! TAKE IN THE INFORMATION AND CONSIDER IF#THE THINGS YOU DO TRULY DEFY STEREOTYPES OR ARE STILL IMPLICITLY INSPIRED BY THESE BIASES!!! AND DO IT QUIETLY OR WITH SOMEONE WHOS WILLING#TO LISTEN! NOT ON THE POST INFORMING YOU OF THE PROBLEMS EXISTENCE#Also I'd move this tag up but genuinely idk if I can do that atm. But I'm LITERALLY guilty of the same shit. I immediately jump to no true#Scotsman the subject because I want to defend it!!! Yes I recognize the pattern is wrong and yes I genuinely believe it isn't necessarily#Inherent! But I still have to confront the fact that it's so prominent and to many people inseparable from the subject#(That being disability and body horror). I will say: my immediate instinct was to disregard any body horror that is just like Real Shit Tha#Happens To People as body horror but that's not helpful! I can't just say well it's not body horror BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL CALL AND SEE IT AS#BODY HORROR!!! I HAVE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE LARGER IMPLICATIONS. My PERSONAL OPINIONS do not matter and the pedantic discussion is#Something to be had with friends or used as it's own criticism of the genre not ON THE POST CALLING OUT A REAL ISSUE! Anyway just.#Both artists and consumers have to be critical of What we see as body horror/what others tell us is body horror/what we accept as body#Horror bc/what we create as body horror etc. We NEED to confront that and we can't just say I Wouldn't Do That! We need to understand that#It goes deeper than that!!! Also YOU DONT INHERENTLY KNOW WHATS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO EXPERIENCE#There's so many things that ppl can experience and Live With! There are obviously things that are fatal so u rarely hear abt them but human#Beings can survive a lot of things!!! And here's the thing: the rarer something is the shittier it feels to have it misrepresented!!!#At the very basic level: CHECK IF THE THING YOU WANT TO USE AS BODY HORROR IS A RECORDED PHENOMENON AT LEAST!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK#DO THE BARE MINIMUM
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princessmyriad ¡ 19 days ago
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#personal#hot take we all know teenagerdom is a lived liminal experience right. im gonna come out and say it#newborn babies is the most liminal lived state followed by pregnancy#because during pregnancy from conception to birth (obviously assuming a wanted and saught after pregnancy) youre just. waiting for the thing#you can induce early or you can have csection or whatever but baby will come on babys time for the most part#so youre just waiting. while your body feeds this thing long enough to get borned. liminal here meaning primarily transitional#rather than empty or spooky.#and newborns? i already know im gonna get angry comments here like 'ooh my newborn totally has a personality ohh she loves it when i...'#shut it. im not calling children blank slates of nothingness please zoom out and get a little of my perspective here#cosmically speaking you are a newborn for like. 2ish months? three? even that feels like it would be a different state than 'newborn'#that term to me feels like it should encompass all of a month at max but whatever. newborns are.. born and theyre this ready made vessel#thats expected to become a person one day but at this stage its empty. it cant even hold its own head.#teenagers are teens for a whole deacde and arguably each 2-3 year period is transitional in a slightly different way than the last#but newborn babies are only that way for barely 3 months. then they become regular babies and in turn become toddlers and on and on#idk it just feels like maybe its not classified as a liminal stage because either we rarely remember anything that young or maybe because of#the parents im sure will come for me that insist their beloved child is more than just a human shaped thing with nothing yet inside#idk. im thinking about this because christmas is liminal. to me. and i think i thought about that because obviously the time between xmas#and newyear where the world seems to shut down. thats liminal too. but the events itself is to me. dont get me wrong i love it#but its the one day a year where a lot of people get to see their families and their childhood homes and and and#idk ive been having this lil rant to myself for an hour now almost i wanted to put some thoughts out. i fucking love liminality though#liminal#i hope i can do liminality justice in fictional text form. im going to to my best at it for sure
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gaywineauntsstuff ¡ 2 months ago
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Broke: everyone fights over whose Batman’s favorite
Woke: everyone fights over whose Dicks favorite bc Dick isn’t an emotionally stunted loser (I shit talk Bruce so much but I love him, he’s just also a loser) and trying to get in the bats favor is like trying to catch sand in a sieve
————
Damian: obviously I’m Graysons favorite I was his Robin
Tim: dude I was the first Robin he trained and we still talk every day I am 100% the favorite
Steph: fuck you! You disappeared off the the face of the earth when he was Batman I was actually here I’m 100% the favorite everyone knows Wing loves me.
Jason: Dick willingly went to Gotham to spend time with me even when he was mad at Bruce. Has Dick ever been in Gotham when he was mad at Bruce for you guys? No? Didn’t think so?
Damian: ….
Steph:…
Tim: that’s because you sucked so much he thought you’d get blown up trying to have to bludhaven.
Jason: oi! Low blow, you can’t use a man’s death against him
Damian: shut up we’ve all died before
Steph: you literally said you were allowed to break Tim’s laptop bc you died b4
Jason: yeah it’s MY DEATH I can use it how I want
Tim: we really gonna call your 14yr old 4’7 self a man?
Cass: he helped me train when B rejected me I’m the favorite
Tim: you can’t be Dicks favorite you’re already Bab’s favorite those are the only 2 likable older members of the family. (They’ve decided Alfred doesn’t count since he’s legally not allowed to have favorites)
Dick: Duke is my favorite
Damian: what?
Tim: how?
Jason: this shit is rigged
Steph: What?? You barely spend time with him?
Duke who has been eating popcorn quietly this whole time:???
Dick: he doesnt steal my suit and murder people
Jason: …
Dick: or tell his friends I threatened to send him to Arkham when I told him to get therapy
Tim:…
Dick: or break into my apartment at 3am because he can’t communicate with his father
Damian:…
Dick: or make me believe he flatlined on the operating table
Steph: …
Dick: or tell me he can’t meet up for a bust because he’s too busy fighting Wonder Woman a hero we work with over text with no context and then go AWOL for 5 days
Cass:…
Dick: or overload his plate with 50 million things I will have to come in and help with
Everyone:
Steph: he started a cult tho??
Dick: was it before or after he was fostered bc if it was before it’s. Not. My. Problem.
Duke: I’m the favorite???
Dick: also I feel like if I died you’re the most likely to take over my duties and not go on a quest for vengeance or try to clone me or put me in the Lazarus pit.
Jason: ID NEVER PUT you in the Lazarus pit…. No comment on the rest tho.
Tim: ditto
Damian: meh you are superior to Todd and he’s relatively functional post the pit I don’t see the issue here.
Steph raising hand: I wouldn’t-
Dick: or help TIM do it
Steph lowering hand:
Dick: plus you have a parent so I don’t have to do 80% of the child rearing while giving Bruce credit
Duke still a little star stuck bc that’s nightwing: IM THE FAVORITE.
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leebrontide ¡ 2 years ago
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Every single time I see a take that amounts to "if you write about X happening, or like fiction where X happens, you like X" I'm reminded of this one time I was at a casual friends house as a young kid. We were in her room, pretending to "be orphans" escaping from an evil orphanage and having to take care of each other and fend for ourselves. It was all very Little Orphan Annie/All Dogs Go to Heaven and based on the 80s pop media.
And this girl's mom comes in, hears what we're playing and gets all MAD and UPSET. She says that if we play act something, it's because we want it to happen. So her daughter must WANT HER TO DIE.
First off lady, we were 6 year year olds, so take it down several notches. We barely had a concept of mortality for fucks sake. She made us feel so guilty and ashamed, because she was taking our game personally.
Now I have a 5 year old. And sometimes she looks at me and says "pretend you're dead, and I have to -" Whatever it is. Some adult task she's assigned herself.
And it's just so transparently obvious that she's practicing the idea of having to do things on her own. Which is exactly what 5 year olds are supposed to do. I actually find it very flattering that the only way she can envision me not being available to help her is to be literally deceased. Otherwise, obviously, she wouldn't have to do scary hard things alone.
It's a natural coping mechanism. She's self-soothing about what would happen if I wasn't there by play-acting independence in a perfectly safe environment. She's also practicing skills she needs, and making up excuses for practicing them on her own, without taking on the responsibility of being able to do them by herself all the time yet.
Humans mentally rehearse bad this in their brains all the time. We can do that by ruminating- going over worries over and over again, which tends to lead to anxiety and helplessness and depression. Or we can do it with a sense of play- by recognizing that the fiction is fiction and we can dip our toe into these experiences and expose ourselves to bad things without actually being injured.
My daughter does not want me dead. And I don't want bad things to happen in real life. But fiction and pretend help me face the horrors of the world and think about them without collapsing or messing myself up mentally.
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irisintheafterglow ¡ 1 month ago
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itoshi sae has no idea how you do it.
classwork, homework, midterms, exams, two jobs, and a lively group of friends? it all sounds so unnecessary to him, these things that would be distractions from his dream. but for you, it sustains you and encourages you to keep going. how differently our minds work, he thinks to himself when he has a rare day to spend on your couch and you're typing away at some assignment on your laptop.
"why do you do that?" you don't respond the first time he asks and he gently calls your name, even though you're barely three feet away. you turn to him with a tired look and something pangs inside his chest. "why bother doing that?"
"bother doing what?"
"whatever it is you're doing right now." he nods at your glaring laptop screen filled with words he can't even begin to understand, some final before your university goes on winter break.
"because it's part of my degree?" there's no malice in your words, just genuine confusion, just like there's no accusations in his words, just concern. "if i fail this class, i don't graduate."
"why do you need to graduate, or have a degree in the first place?"
"because i need a job, my love," you explain patiently. "we've had this conversation before. going to school means i can get a well-paying job to sustain myself."
"why do you need to sustain yourself when you have me?" you blink at him and his blank face. the only sign of emotion is the slight pinch between his eyebrows; he was truly puzzled why he couldn't just set you up for life. dating itoshi sae is like being an unwilling sugar baby.
"i'm not going to leech off your earnings," you chuckle in disbelief. "i'm not going to use you to make sure i have a comfortable life. i love you, and my kind of love stays whether we have money or not." he shifts awkwardly in his seat and his mouth pouts the tiniest amount. he obviously didn't like your reply.
"whatever i'm doing, it isn't enough for you," he states quietly.
without another word, you exhale through your nose and shut your laptop. you place it on the coffee table before crawling over and maneuvering your way into his arms. he gladly accepts you, sliding down the couch's armrest so that you're nearly lying on top of him. it's quiet for a few moments, not in an uncertain way but in a way that said both of you were figuring out how to articulate your thoughts.
"i just think that--"
"you don't need to--" you both begin your explanations at the same time and the huff of his laugh vibrates against your cheek. "you go first," you tell him.
"i was saying that, if you wanted me to," he inhales and tries to tiptoe around what he wants to say before deciding to just crush it with his foot, "i can take care of you without you needing a degree." a certain selfish part of him wanted you there for every single victory and ladder rung he ascended, not because he thought you owed him, but because he owed you. you, who weathered his darkest of moods and harshest of snaps. he owed you for dealing with his bullshit, so he figured, why should you need to lift a finger when you've already done so much for him? "i owe you that much for everything that you've seen me through."
"you don't owe me anything, itoshi sae. loving you is not transactional, nor have i ever wanted it to be."
"everything is transactional, mi amor," he argues and the pet name makes your heartrate increase. "give and take, it's how the world flows. shouldn't your university classes be teaching you that?" your eyes have fluttered shut on his chest, but you still hear the smirk in his joke.
"believe it or not, mister 'fame is the only thing that matters to me,' there are transactions beyond material goods."
"i know that," he says indignantly. "i also know that you're wrong."
"am i?"
"yes," he affirms. "i don't only care about fame. i care about you too, obviously."
"see, sae? give and take. i give you all i am--"
"and you take all i am."
"body and soul?"
"and everything in between," he finishes, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before settling into the pillows. "rest, mi amor. you've paid more attention to school than to me lately, and that's an unequal transaction."
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seumyo ¡ 9 months ago
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BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 10:32
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You tell Bakugou once that you don’t know how to take the train home, and he almost blasted your ears off with semi-yelling (or full-on yelling at some point) insults. 
“Hah?” He scoffs, eyes narrowing. This information is new to him, and a surprising one at that. 
You? The nerd that always bested him when it came to academics, which pissed him off the first few months in U.A.? The person who was not only book smart but was street and people smart as well? 
The whole goddamn package doesn’t know how to take the train?
Really?
He’s calling bull.
“What do you mean you don’t know how to take the train home? What kind of idiot doesn’t know that?”
“I just—“ you’re abashed and really don’t know what to say, “I didn’t really— I’ve never had the chance to take one until now!” For a consistent honors student, you can’t really have everything, can you?
“How’ve you been getting to school and back, then?”
“We had a driver—“
“Fuckin’ course—“
“But hey! Listen—in my defense—my schools were usually a walking distance from our house.”
“And now what? Gonna stand here and wait for a miracle to happen?”
You nudge his side with a frustrated frown (more like a pout, Bakugou thinks.) “Quit it, asshole.”
He backtracks briefly, though you could barely tell at this point. And it’s clear enough that he takes your words into consideration. It could be the fact that you actually look scared shitless right now, something foreign to your typical lax and carefree persona.
“C’mon.” Bakugou grabs you by the arm.
“Ow— hey! Where are we going?”
“You have to learn somehow, or else you’ll look fuckin’ clueless and dumb, nerd.”
You don’t argue because you really just wanted to get home, and while you could just call in your driver, you considered that this was important information that would help you in the long run. Besides, you do agree with Bakugou that not knowing how to commute like this is embarrassing, especially at your age.
“What’s this?” 
Bakugou hands you a card. It’s decorated with a minimalist logo of Musutafu’s native flower, whose color is your favorite.
“An IC card,” he simply answers.
It’s cute, you thought. You noticed how the other commuters had the standard design, so Bakugou must've gotten it personalized to your preference. How thoughtful.
“You could’ve just helped me get a ticket, though,” you murmur. You fiddle with the card in your hand, glancing at him with a puzzled expression. “I don’t think I’ll be using this card that often. It’ll be a waste.”
“Then try and use it as often as you can, nerd.”
“I’ll pay you back for this—how much was it?”
“Forget it.”
“Really, Bak—“
“Forget it,” he barks. “Keep up, you shitty extra. Or else you’d miss the last train to your station.” Bakugou starts walking, and you follow suit.
You can load your IC card at the ticket machines or the nearest ATMs. Different stations call for different ticket gates that obviously have different fares. The expiration of cards usually depends on what provider you got them from—
“What do I do now?”
You’re hesitantly in front of the ticket gate, with Bakugou on the other side. You’re like a kid who’s lost their mother in the mall.
“Just—“ Bakugou had to take a deep breath and not make a scene in the train station. He pinched the bridge of his nose, calling for all his ancestors to give him the strength to remain patient.
“Place your shitty card on the card reader. That’s it.”
You do as you’re taught, and you awed when the gates opened and let yourself walk through with a stupidly big smile on your face. “I did it!”
Bakugou thinks it’s fucking stupid of him to think that your enthusiasm for mundane things was cute. But fuck, something must be wrong with him because suddenly he feels a flurry of butterflies lodged in his throat, his heart beating ridiculously fast. 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” 
He gives you directions, how to navigate through Musutafu without getting lost, and the basic stations you’ll be passing by to get to your station. He sees you type most of the things he says on your phone, and the way you were so eager to learn was a sight to see, really.
Boarding the metro, people were just as eager to get home as you two. So you two stood, not that there was much room to do anything about it.
“Hold onto the handle unless you want to fall on your ass,” Bakugou says. His tone is hushed to not disturb the other passengers. At least he followed basic commuting etiquette. 
“It’s so beautiful,” you breathe out. The passing buildings were as huge as those of U.A.’s, if not bigger. With the golden hue of the apparent descent of the sun below the horizon, Musutafu just became more beautiful in your eyes.
He scoffs.
“What’s so interestin’ about a buncha tacky buildings? Never seen one before you came here?”
“Of course I have; they’re just not like this.”
Bakugou follows your line of sight, and he thinks about it carefully. He couldn’t see what you saw, but maybe it’s because he grew up looking at this scenery. It doesn’t amaze him as much as it did when he was younger, he concludes. To you, this was a first. 
An experience that could become a core memory in this city. And he’s with you as you live through it. The thought causes a familiar feeling of pride to exude from his chest.
Maybe he’ll learn to appreciate more mundane things with you too in the future.
The train stops at another station, and the people scurry out. Once in motion, you were surprised by the speed when it took off, and the motion had you stumbling back. You stumble against Bakugou.
“What did I say about keeping a firm hold on the handles, you shitty extra? That’s what those are for.” Whether it’s by instinct or unintentional, Bakugou guides your hand to hold onto the support pole. He doesn’t let go, and you didn’t make a comment about it.
“Sorry! Still getting used to it,” you quietly laugh. “I hope the people here don’t think I’m really that inexperienced when it comes to taking the metro home,” you told him. “It’s embarrassing to think that I haven’t taken one until now.”
Bakugou thinks it’s alright because you were actually on set to learn. No matter what those other extras say or comment, no matter if they give you unimpressed glances, he’s there to grant them one of his own spine-chilling glares if they had the balls to do so. 
A passenger who appeared to be around your age stood up from his seat. “Excuse me, you can take my seat. I get off at the next stop,” he says. You’re a bit hesitant to take the offer, but he reassures you that it’s fine. It’ll be an awkward death for you if you don’t accept it, because now he’s standing. “Please, I insist.”
Unknown to you, Bakugou had an obvious scowl on his face until the stranger left.
“You look like you’re about to shit yourself.”
“Shut up, I’m not.”
“Jealous?”
“Hah? Why would I be—”
“Shh!” you kicked his shoe with yours.
“Quiet, remember?”
Bakugou rolls his eyes, still frowning. You hold his free hand, cheekily smiling when he tries to free it from your hold. And in the end, he lets you do whatever the fuck it is that you want, but he would never ever admit that he was jealous of some nameless extra. He’s too far into liking you to help you board a train, get you a personalized IC card, miss his stop two stations ago because yours was still three stations after his, but he doesn’t think he’d be vocal about it anytime soon.
He’ll leave it to you to confess.
Then again, you already knew.
Bakugou Katsuki would not go above and beyond like this for anyone else, but he unknowingly does for you.
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SEUMYO Š 2024, PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.
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gravegoer ¡ 2 months ago
Text
Take a hint. ୨୧
sevika x oblivious!reader ♡ PART 1 [feel free to send requests, asks etc! i respond to everything :) + i defo need to make a badass reader x sevika to make up 4 this
PART 2 HERE , masterlist here
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• How could you have possibly made it this far all by your lonesome in the undercity?? Almost oblivious to anyones advances, threats etc. Your last minute judgement has to have come in clutch many times.
• Having said that; obviously sevika is going to raise an eyebrow as you walk past her,
• She sat in her booth, playing a game of poker with two conspicuous-looking men (to say the least.) A cigarillo hung from her thick lips and smoke puffed out of her nose as she glanced up.
• A man follows you (cocky fella) spewing nonsense about how he so badly wanted to get to know you and how "you should come grab a drink with me, all on my tab sweetheart."
• She shook her head; this didn't snag her attention, as the man was a regular, always harassing the prettiest woman he could find at the bar. What did snag her attention was your response.
• "Oh...sure! Why not ?" You laughed, undoubtedly carefree and unaware of the man's advances. Now, this THIS is what made her lips curl downward into a sneer.
• How could someone be so stupid. Seriously. What part about this guy didnt scream "creep." Were there not flashing red lights going off in your head telling you to turn the other way and make a run for it?
•Although this wasnt normally the kind of thing she bothered to pay attention to she continued to keep an eye on you as you walked toward the bar with him.
• However, the game of cards draws her attention away from the two of you. The man to her right groans at her card selection before shuffling through his.
• This was going to be another easy cash night, huh? She thought, her eyes wandering back to where you sat. The man next to you is now a bit too close for comfort.
• "I dont see you 'round here often missy" The man drawls, smirking at you. His fingers traced the rim of your glass slowly, barely missing your fingertips.
• "Yeah im...im not around here often.. tonight jus- " You were cut off by his hand on yours.
• "A pretty lady shouldnt be out at night all by 'er self, who knows what might snag 'er up, yeah?" His grip on yours was just a bit too tight.
• "Thats true..I was going to head home soon anyways. Thank you for your concern." You half smiled at him, now feeling the uncomfortable tension between you.
• The man took your smile as a green light to do whatever the fuck he wants and he leans in closer to your face. Before he can even bring his lips within the radius of your face the slam of metal separates you two.
• A mechanical device whirrs between you, parts clanking and activating: acting as a barrier. Your drink spills onto the floor, just narrowly missing your leg.
• You look up to see the weilder of said device glaring straight foward, not looking at either of you. Although her lips settle into a tight line; disdain etched into her (quite stunning) features. You could feel the heat of her body just inches away from yours.
• "Um...were we in your way-" You are cut off by her unexpectedly deep angry tone.
• "Lance, get the fuck out of here." She spat, now turning her head to look at him. Ah so thats his name.
• Her body was turned to face yours, her large frame mostly blocked your view from Lance, but it was pretty obvious he up and left without a word of retaliation.
• You eyed her questioningly scanning her lean (buff) frame.
• "You dont know a man thats trying to get in your pants when you see one?" She spoke firmly, turning her head to you.
• "I dont think he was.." You recalled all the events in the past five minutes and sighed internally "Mmfuck"
• Sevika took a draw of her cigar, watching you piece everything together, "So you really are stupid? I thought you were playing dumb." She scoffed.
• She couldn't lie. You were beautiful. It's a shame that all the men in the bar have probably eyed you at least once since you walked in. This thought made her lips twitch downward.
• "Bartender," Her voice booms "Get her another whiskey."
• Sevika ordering for a woman?? Absolutely unheard of. She means buisness. The bartender quickly grabs your drink offering a smile (that looked more out of fear than anything else) to Sevika.
• All the regulars know she only comes to the bar to either: A) Gamble B) Drink or C) beat someones ass. And despite her rough demeanor her actions were uncharacteristically...nice?
• "Thank you," You smiled up at her "I need to get better at that kind of thing"
• She slid into the barstool next to yours, where Lance had previously sat. "Is this your first time in the undercity? If not im suprised you havent been killed yet"
• Her question went unanswered as you watched the spread of her legs when she sat down, she has thick; definitely toned thighs. You swear you can see the muscle even with her pants on. Your eyes travel upward to look at her ever so slightly visible abs-
• "Hey, do you have nothing going on up there?" She sneered at you, now getting up from her stool. She was quickly irritated.
• "Im sorry, but you're gorgeous. Whats your name?" You ask, catching her gaze as she stood.
• She makes an incredulous expression for a second before going stone faced again "Be careful with what you say to strangers"
• Your drink arrives and she nods her head towards it before walking away, not leaving any room for you to thank her.
• Right as you're about to stare at her confident walk back to her booth a voice interrupted your thoughts, "Thats Sevika, Silcos second hand man." The bartender spoke.
• He knew you werent new, you had been coming for several years, but only casually. The only reason you stook out to him was because of you're genuine kindness when you spoke to him, not demeaning or demanding drinks.
• In return he usually warded off the men and women trying to snag you up and take you home.
• At his words you turned to look at her, but she was already staring back at you. Her gaze dark and almost hungry. You shivered at that, breaking eyecontact first.
• You didn't feel like drinking any longer, aching for the warmth of your home. You took a sip of whiskey and waved at the bartender before hopping off your stool to start towards the exit.
• You passed Sevikas booth on your way out, the men at her table eyed you and one wolf whistled loudly.
• Sevikas' eye twitched as she waited for you to exit the vicinity. She made note of the bell ring when you opened and closed the door to the bar.
• She wasted absolutely no time to jump on the man who wolf whistled, grabbing him by the collar and delivering an unforgiving punch to his face with her mechanical arm.
You definitely would be meeting again.
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short authors note :) this is my first fic in FOUR YEARS so be patient with me guys ... anywho.. PLEASSEE send asks im begging, i crave to write right now. Im mainly writing for sevika and female characters ! But ill do anyone. ask me about fandoms ! (im in many) and ill write for basically any ask me for part 2 !! KUDOS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY APPRECIATED
comment to be added to my taglist :)
1K notes ¡ View notes
mywritersmind ¡ 3 months ago
Note
hellooooooo! I read yell and flight and let me tell u I was HOOKED. I cannot get fran off my mind the way this man is!!! It’s driving me wild and it’s barely been abt a week or two seeing him all over my socials👩🏻‍🦯‍➡️ I was wondering if you are still taking reqs obviously for fran? I know deep down in my bones that this man is so clingy like physically so maybe like him hugging the reader a lot like alot all the time, like long cuddle sessions just talking abt life?
xxxxxxx thx in advance
SEVEN TIMES WHEN FRANCO COULDN'T KEEP HIS HANDS TO HIMSELF - FC43
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listen up : no warnings just some kissing!! this is cute so i hope you enjoy <3 franco x girlfriend!reader
word count : 1249
⋆。‧˚⋆
When I first started dating Franco, it was obvious that his love language was physical touch. Back then however, I didn’t know how much he depended on it.
⋆༺
1. I’ve never been more excited for Franco than I was at that first race in Monza. As soon as I could, I ran to him.
He was still in his race suit, grinning that stupid smile that I so love. He was sweaty and gross and I couldn’t be happier.
“Corazón…” He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder even as I jumped up and down.
“I’m so proud of you!” I pulled him tighter, his curls brushing my face. “That was so sick!” I pushed him back to move my hands while I spoke but his hand stayed on my waist.
He let me recount his own race back to him as he just stared at me dreamily, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He laughed and pulled me in again, kissing me this time.
People cheered and whistled as I smiled against Franco’s lips. He kept that same hand on me all day, holding me close as if the two hours he was racing for was time lost for us.
He never cared who was watching, as long as I was in his arms, nothing else mattered.
⋆༺
2. “Let’s stay here.” He mumbled into my skin, laying completely on top of me with his face on my stomach.
I laughed, running my hands through his hair, “We have to go Fran… You were the one who said we would!” He frowned up at me when I took my hands from his hair.
I slipped my hands back through his waves and he smiled happily again, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist.
I look at his arms flexing against me, “Darling…”
He frowned up at me again, making me laugh and having to physically push him off of me, “Ay no…” He groaned as I stood, smoothing out my skirt.
“Come on!” I had to walk out the door just to get Franco out of the room.
⋆༺
3. We were at a charity gala and I felt like a genuine magnet. A magnet that only attracts Franco's hands. I smirked at him, “Like what you see?” I spun around in my red dress that hit right before my black heels, his hands staying on me as I turned around.
His gaze dragged up my body, nodding silently. Franco is never silent. He gave my waist a little squeeze before kissing my cheek and pulling me into his side.
The whole night, the only time he left my side was when I went to the restroom. He was waiting with drinks when I got back, I can’t help but smile at his stupid face that looks way too happy to be buying things for me.
We ended up talking to Lando and his date, she was definitely a model and honestly I don’t know if he even knew her name. When the girl left, Lando eyed us both, “You’re making me look bad!” He ran his hand through his curls as I rested my head on Franco’s shoulder.
“Not my fault that you don’t like your date!” Franco argued and Lando pulled his lips into a thin line.
“I like her just fine! You two are just disgustingly affectionate.”
⋆༺
4. “I’m just having a hard time, Franco!” I sat on the couch, my head in my hands. We’d been fighting like this for an hour and getting nowhere.
He paced in front of me, turning to me and placing his hand on my chin so I would look up.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered as tears ran down my face, sinking to his knees, “I’m so sorry… I know you though. You can get through this.” His hands moved up the outside of my thighs, holding me tight like he always does.
⋆༺
5. I could practically feel Franco’s gaze burning a hole into the man across from me’s head.
He started over to us as soon as he saw the man take a step closer. He cleared his throat, placing his hand on the small of my back as he smiled at the man.
Franco leaned closer to me and the man left in an instant. I smiled softly at him, raising a brow, “Possessive, much?”
He sipped his drink, “With you? Always.”
⋆༺
6. “You look delicious.” I laugh out loud as he says it in my ear, I turn and swat his chest. The club music was loud and the lights were even brighter.
“Franco.” He knows he’s gotten to me, a smirk prominently on his face as he takes my hand in his and pulls me gently out of the crowd.
We make it to the bathroom, one stall, before Franco has his hands on my ass and his mouth on mine. “Needy.” I mumbled into his mouth.
“No shit, have you seen yourself?” I laughed as he pushed me up against the wall, his hand slipping below the hem of my blue dress.
He slips his tongue in my mouth, cupping my face and holding onto my waist tightly. I sometimes forget he’s an actual athlete until he brings his strength into the bedroom. Or in this case… the club bathroom.
⋆༺
7. Franco sat between my legs, my hands in his hair as he intently listened to the football match that was playing.
He's talking about some of the players but I'm busy braiding his hair which is quite hard given the length.
He moved his hands away from his water bottle that he was fidgeting with, playing them on my ankles and making me shiver. His touch is effortless and sometimes I think he doesn’t even realize because he was definitely focused on the game.
His hands slid upwards, brushing over my calf then back down. He repeated this for five minutes until I finished with his partially braided hair.
The game was still playing as he slid his fingers up my legs once more, making me shiver. He didn’t even realize until I pushed my hands over his and his head leaned back to look at me.
He smiled and kissed my hand, turning around and kneeling in front of me.
I watched his muscles move as he extended his arms to wrap around my waist. He looked up at me, his green eyes shining while his hair looked like a mess. “Are you excited for today?” We were in his drivers room, his suit unzipped.
��Yes. Because you’re here.” His hand rubbed against my face softly, like he wanted to memorize every part of me.
“Do you get nervous?”
“Of course. I don’t want to mess up when you’re were.” I frowned at his words, caressing his neck.
“I don’t care what you do, love… as long as you’re safe.” He sighed and laid his head on my knees.
“You that worried?” I nodded. “I don’t want you to be.”
“Well I’m your girlfriend and it’s my job because you chose a job where your life is in danger every weekend.” He laughed at my sarcastic tone, shaking his head and kissing my knee.
“I like that you care. But I promise you corazón, you cannot get rid of me that easily.” He kissed me softly, I kissed him back.
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Note
You would hit BELIEVE how happy I am that you’re writing fics for Declan O’Hara he’s my new DILF obsession!!! Also it was so well-written and in-character, oh my goodness!
I was wondering if I could request a fic where Declan and female!reader are having an affair, and she’s super nervous because she’s Taggie’s best friend. She meets Declan one night in his car, and he calms her down and, obviously, they have car sex.
Ending this with a huge I LOVE YOUR WORK
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Shut Up and Drive.
It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? The one person who riles you up the most is also the only person that can calm you down.
declan o’hara x female reader
warnings - smut. cursing. age gap. cheating. declan and his dirty mouth. one use of the c word. overuse of the nickname sweetheart.
word count - 3k
authors note - the minute he put that baby blue t shirt on… I was suddenly on my knees. funny how that happens. can’t and won’t stop with the fics for this man. I am riding the rivals train to the ends of the earth, baby. thanks for being so sweet, anon <3
masterlist. inbox.
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The phone is shaking in your trembling hand, cord all tangled where you keep twisting it around your finger nervously.
“Hello?”
You almost drop the receiver at the sound of that familiar Irish accent, despite the fact that you were the one that rang him. It has your stomach churning, in a different way than usual.
“H-hi,” you barely whisper, before clearing your throat and trying again. “Hi. It’s me.”
“Hi, sweetheart,” he breathes, as if it’s the first time he’s taken a lungful of air all day.
“I, um… I’m sorry to call you on the house phone. I know it’s not how we do things usually.”
“It’s alright. What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. I just, uh… I called to say that I can’t do this anymore.”
“Sweetheart-”
“I would have told you in person, but I didn’t know when I was going to see you next, so.”
“Can we-” he begins, before lowering his voice so as not to be overheard, “-can we talk about this properly? Please?”
“We can’t. I can’t. We shouldn’t.”
“Sweetheart, I’m beggin’ ya. One conversation. You’re not ending this in a quick phone call on a Wednesday night, you hear me?”
You inhale deeply, biting at your lips. There’s pure anxiety radiating through your body, prickly and unrelenting.
“I hear you,” you murmur down the receiver. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he sighs in relief. “I’m gonna come and get ya - we’ll go for a drive, alright?”
“Sorry you have to lie,” you whisper, guilt colouring your tone.
“I’d lie for you a thousand times over.”
His words shouldn’t make you feel as giddy as they do, but alas. Here you are.
“I’ll put some shoes on.”
“And a coat. It’s cold as fuck tonight.”
You half laugh, half snort at him down the phone, dreamily imagining the grin he most likely has painted on his face listening to you.
“Yes sir,” you tease, giggling. “I’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll drive up without my headlights on. Look out for me, yeah?”
“I will.”
I always do, you think to yourself. I always do.
The line goes dead abruptly, the buzzing vibrating straight into your temples. You slip your shoes on, quickly fixing your hair and touching up your makeup in the mirror in the hallway while you’re there. You shrug your arms into your coat at Declan’s orders, knowing he’d tell you off if you turned up without it on.
You’ve almost forgotten the entire reason you called in the first place was to break things off with him.
Almost.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
True to his word, Declan drives up your road without his headlights on, slowly and with practised precision.
You’re waiting at the window for him, patiently anticipating the sight of that stupid yellow car. You’re out of the door in seconds as soon as you see him, bounding towards the passenger side and slipping in before anyone notices. He drives off quickly, not taking any time to say hello before he’s taking off out of the town and towards the rolling countryside.
You drive for a good fifteen minutes, to a spot the two of you frequent on your drives. It’s a dirt track, leading to nothing but fields for miles on end. Declan pulls the car around the bend and out of sight from the busier road, knowing that it has more than enough privacy. You’ve never been caught here before, and you don’t plan to start.
Finally turning off the engine, he turns to face you, taking in how the moonlight illuminates your features in the lowlight of the car.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi.”
You’re refusing to look at him, knowing that if you do, you’ll surge over and kiss him until you’re both dizzy. You can feel his gaze on you, though, intense and unwavering. As it always is.
His thumb and pointer finger hook under your chin, forcing you to stare straight into his determined brown eyes. You’re willing yourself not to crumble, but you can feel your resolve starting to slip already.
“I missed you,” he whispers, careful not to spook you.
“I missed you too,” you say before you can stop yourself. “Shit.”
He chuckles, and the low timbre of it settles right in the pit of your stomach.
“What’s all this about then, hmm? The phone call?”
“What did you tell Taggie? Where did you say you were going?”
It’s your least favourite part about all of this, the lying. Lying to Taggie, to Patrick, to Caitlin, to Rupert, to your friends, to your family. Coming up with excuses has become second nature - something you hate about yourself now. You hate how it comes so naturally to both of you these days.
“Told her I was going to meet someone about some potential research for a show. She had evening plans anyway, she’s off out to Lizzie’s.”
You’re fiddling with your fingers, picking at your nails in a nervous habit as you chew your bottom lip. If anxiety was personified, it’d be you.
“You avoided my question. We need to talk about what you said on the phone, sweetheart.”
Taking a deep breath, you turn in your seat to face him properly, going over the speech you’ve practised in your head dozens of times.
“Okay. I’m… I’m not sure we should do this anymore. I- I just… I feel guilty. For lying to Taggie, mainly. And because you’re technically still married, but mainly for lying to Tag. She’s the closest friend I have, and I’m sleeping with her father. It makes me a terrible person, Declan. I have to put a stop to it.”
He processes your words for a moment, looking at you intently.
“Do ya want to?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you want to? Put a stop to things? Or do you just feel like you should? For other people.”
You want to lie, tell him exactly what you had planned out, feed him what you know will work. But you can’t. You can lie to everyone… except Declan.
“I don’t want to,” you whisper. “But I should. We should.”
“Why now? Did something happen? Did someone say something?”
“No, no. I just… Taggie said something really sweet the other day about how she was glad that she had me, because making friends here hasn’t been easy for her. And it should have made me happy, and instead, it broke my heart.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
Declan cradles your face in his rough hands, resting his forehead against yours. It’s like the whole world melts away for a moment, leaving just the two of you in the tiny yellow car.
“I’m a horrible person,” you mumble. “And a horrible friend.”
“You’re speaking as if it’s just you. And it’s not, you know. There’s two of us in this affair - I’m just as guilty as you are.”
“Fine then. We’re both horrible people.”
He chuckles, breath tickling your face, and you can’t help the giggle that escapes you. His lips are brushing yours every time he speaks, meaning you can practically taste the cigarette smoke and spearmint on his tongue.
“I never claimed otherwise,” he retorts, still smiling.
“I don’t know what to do,” you admit as his thumbs sweep back and forth across your cheekbones. “It’s weighing down my conscience, and I don’t want to hurt Tag. But… I can’t give you up, Declan. I need you. I need you more than anything.”
“You make me crazy. God, I think about you night and day, sweetheart. My thoughts revolve around if I’ve seen you and when I’m going to see you next.”
“So what do we do? I can’t quit this. I can’t quit you, I can’t quit us. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
“I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know. I wish I had the answers… I wish I could make all your worries go away. But I can’t.”
“I don’t expect you to. I just… I thought that I could do it in one clean sweep. Get it out the way, you know? Call you, end things, be done. And then the minute I heard your voice over the phone… I knew I couldn’t do it. Because deep down, I didn’t want to.”
He leans in to press a lingering kiss to your forehead, desperate to be close to you.
“Declan.”
“If I could fix it all for you, I would,” he murmurs against your skin. “You know I would.”
You pull back to put some distance in between you, watching him carefully for his reaction to what you say next.
“You should break things off.”
He flinches as if you’ve punched him in the stomach.
“What?”
“You should. I clearly can’t, so you have to be the one to do it. Do it, Declan. End things with me right here, right now. Please.”
Your tone is weak and unconvincing, as if you can’t even bring yourself to say the words with any conviction.
“I can’t,” he confesses, voice breaking on the last word. “I can’t do it.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
He takes a deep, shuddering breath, exhaling it slowly as if he’s buying himself some time. You wait patiently for him to continue, nerves frayed at the edges.
“Because I love you.”
Now it’s your turn to flinch, his admission smacking you across the face violently.
“You-”
“Yes. I love you, sweetheart. It’s taken me a while to figure all of this out, but I know it now. That’s why I’ve never been able to end this. Because it’s not just incredible sex… it’s something more. Something real.”
There are tears welling in your eyes as you look at him, watching the way he lays his heart on his sleeve in the moonlight just for you.
“I’m scared,” you confess. “I love you too and it scares me.”
You don’t miss the way his face lights up as you say it, but he’s trying to keep a careful lid on his emotions for now.
“I’m not going to let anything bad happen to ya. You know that.”
All you can do is nod in response, digesting everything that has happened in the last five minutes. You do know that. He’s proven time and time again that you’re not just some fleeting fling to him.
“Declan?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
Now he grins like an idiot, eyes alive with adrenaline and hope.
“That’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever heard ya say.”
You tuck some hair behind his ear before leaning in to gently press your lips to his, wanting to seal the moment. He kisses you back sweetly at first, before taking control with more force, slipping his tongue into your mouth cheekily. You happily let him take the lead, sighing in contentment as you melt into him.
“C’mere.”
Climbing over onto his lap, you hinge your legs on either side of his in the drivers seat, straddling his hips. You try to straighten up but end up hitting your head on the roof of the car, which makes you both wheeze with laughter.
“This car is too fucking small,” you grumble, rubbing the spot that you smacked.
“Y’alright? Want me to kiss it better?”
You hate the way the teasing tone in his voice shoots right to your core, shaking your head in defiance.
“Fuck off,” you mumble, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Patronising bastard.”
“I like it when you get your claws out,” he chuckles, tracing patterns on your thighs over your jeans. “S’hot.”
You kiss him again to shut him up, biting at his bottom lip in punishment. He groans all low and slow, which makes you grind your hips into his, despite the multiple layers of clothing separating you.
“Backseat,” he whispers, pushing you off of him gently. “More room.”
You splay yourself across the wide back seat, opening your legs so Declan can slot in between them.
“You’ve got too many clothes on,” he prompts as he shrugs off his own jacket and undoes his belt.
You can’t help but chuckle at his impatience, happily taking off your coat and jumper and unbuttoning your jeans. Your breath catches in your throat when you look back up at him - he’s wearing the Venturer t shirt that hugs his biceps just right, accentuating every delicious muscle he has to offer you.
“Wore it for you,” he mutters against your lips. “Know you like me in a t shirt.”
You roll your eyes but kiss him with determination anyway, all teeth and tongue and clashing bodies. You’re clawing at his clothed shoulders, wrapping your legs around his waist to buck your hips into his.
“I’ve been thinking about this,” he mumbles into the skin of your neck, pressing kisses wherever he can reach. “Lying awake at night thinking about your thighs, your tits, your cunt.”
All you can do is sigh, fingers digging into his biceps in desperation.
“Wish I could take my time with you like you deserve. These quick fucks just aren’t the same.”
He sounds almost upset about it, voice staying deep and low.
“Remember that time I stayed the night? And you couldn’t walk in the morning?”
You laugh breathily, thinking back fondly to that night a few months ago. You’d both orchestrated it so carefully, crafting cautious lies and fabricated stories to snatch a good sixteen hours of time together.
“Need that again soon. Might have to start sneaking ya into my house in the dark, make you climb the gutters like we’re in a film. Although, it is a bit hard to keep you quiet.”
You try valiantly to ignore the heat that flushes across your chest as he teases you, knowing that he’s right.
“Declan?”
“Yeah, baby?”
You grab his hand and shove it down your underwear, jeans trapped around your thighs. There’s very minimal room in this tiny car, but you’re both determined to make it work. He groans when he feels how wet you are, swiping through your core.
“Fuck me. Have you been like this the entire time?”
“Since this afternoon,” you whimper, trying to grind down onto his fingers. “Couldn’t stop thinking about when you ate me out on my kitchen worktop last week. My legs were shaking for two days afterwards.”
“Fuck,” he breathes, slipping a finger into you as he drops his head onto your shoulder. “I got myself off thinking about that yesterday. I swear if I concentrate, I can still taste you on my tongue.”
All you can do is whimper, desperate to have him in any way you can. The fact that you have the same effect on him that he does on you makes your head spin, dizzy with want.
“Don’t make me wait,” you beg, cradling his face so he has to look you in the eye. “Fuck me, please. Please, Declan.”
“Okay, pretty girl. I’ll give ya anything you want. Anything.”
He shuffles around so he’s sat back on his knees, pushing his jeans and underwear down just enough to free himself. You spread your legs as wide as you can, trying to give him as much room as possible. It’s not the first time you’ve found yourself in this position in this car with him - and it won’t be the last.
“So beautiful,” he murmurs as he leans down to kiss you, licking across your teeth with his tongue. “Most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.”
He slides into you with ease, both of you gasping at the familiar sensation. Your nails are digging into his shoulders as he holds your hips in a bruising grip, pads of his fingertips biting into your flesh.
Declan doesn’t waste any time, setting a relentless pace that has you bouncing across the seat. The car is shaking like crazy, all the windows fogged up - anyone who passes will know exactly what’s happening inside.
The man above you can read you like a book and play you like a fiddle. He knows the exact angles of his hips that’ll have you keening, the certain spots to focus on that’ll have you seeing stars. He knows you better than anyone, in more ways than one.
“That’s it,” he soothes, pressing a kiss to your sweaty forehead. “Atta girl. Taking it like you were made for me.”
“Maybe I was,” you breathe, tipping your head back to give him access to your neck. “Just for you.”
He groans all melted and golden like molten honey, the vibrato of it rumbling through your bones. You’re holding onto him for dear life, as if he’s the only thing tethering you to this reality. When his thumb finds your clit to rub firm, slow circles, you’re convinced you’re floating on another plane of existence.
The only word you can seem to formulate is Declan, which only pushes him closer to the finish line. He’s determined to get you there first, angling his hips upward to hit that one spot that has you gasping. When he moves one hand to your throat and gently squeezes, you fall apart instantly, taking him with you.
“I love you,” he breathes as he comes, forehead resting on yours. “My girl.”
You’re shuddering and shaking as you lie underneath him, panting like you’ve just ran ten miles. Declan collapses on top of you, laying his head on your chest comfortably. Your fingers rake through his hair, fingernails scratching at his scalp like you’ve done so many times before.
You both allow yourselves to close your eyes for a minute, recovering and attempting to catch your breath. You’re convinced, for a moment, that you’ll never feel more peaceful than you do right now. You breathe each other in, satiated and content.
You finally open your eyes, expecting to see nothing but fogged windows and starlit darkness. Instead, you see a man bending down, looking straight at you. Arguably the worst possible person that could see the two of you in the position you’re in.
Rupert Campbell Black.
He’s grinning like an idiot, shaking his head in disbelief.
You’re about to warn the man in your arms when Rupert opens the car door, slipping himself into the drivers seat and spinning so he’s facing you. Declan has jumped out of his skin, jolting upwards to cover you as best he can.
Rupert smirks all dirty and knowing, eyes dancing over your half naked forms.
“Well, well, well. Secrets out, lovers.”
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@graceflorence @dionysus-drabbles
as aaaaaaaalways… reblogs are golden!! they’re the currency of tumblr, my loves. you reblog, and your favourite writers will write you more fics. simple as that. mwah. <3
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envy-of-the-apple ¡ 5 months ago
Text
Moon Starves Sun (FULL VERSION)
Dark!Gojo Satoru x reader
Word Count: 5.8k
Part one: Sun Eats Moon
Part two: Earth Kills Moon
(Warnings: forced relationship, implied nsfw content, implied noncon/dubcon, dark content, implied baby trapping)
When Satoru's close like this, he can hear your heartbeat. 
It's been a while. Ten years. An entire decade. Everything about this is different, yet so familiar. He feels like he's finally reached the shores, feeling the warm sands underneath his feet. Like he's been given his favorite food after being starved for years. Everything melts. Everything except for you. 
He'd like to stay like this forever, listening to your rabbit heartbeat, feeling your soft skin, but for your sake, he pulls himself off you. Lying on a wooden desk probably isn't that comfortable. 
Your eyes are shut. Your breathing is shallow. You're so pretty like this under the moonlight. Your clothes are barely hanging onto your body. He can see every mark he's left on you. Part of him wants to make more, but he'll let you off the hook for now. He's nice like that. 
"Still with me?" 
Your eyes flutter open. You don't respond, but at least you're not crying anymore. He can work with that. 
"C'mon, pretty girl," he says, voice soft, "let's piece you back together." 
The belt left lines on your wrists. He'll kiss them better later. For now, Satoru collects your clothes and heels from the floor, placing them on the desk. He helps you reclasp your bra, runs his fingers on your arms when you finish buttoning your blouse. It's a quiet affair. Every so often, he'd catch your eyes. You don't let yourself linger for long. Satoru finds that a little cute. 
You say nothing when he wraps an arm around your waist, guiding you out of his office. Maybe you're still dazed, still gathering yourself back up, because you don't struggle as much as he predicted. You try to leave his grip when the two of you reach the lobby. He's quick to stop you. 
"Where, do you think you're goin'?" He grips your wrist when you take a step away. 
You look at him, eyes shimmering like water. 
You swallow. "My apartment. I—I need to go back—" 
He clicks his tongue, bringing you back in. 
"We can get your stuff later." He tells you with a grin. "let's just go home, tonight. I'm exhausted." 
You open your mouth. Satoru waits. You say nothing, and he thinks you're starting to get it. 
The moon is a dusky red tonight. Satoru thinks it's an ugly color. 
☞
If Satoru could describe you in one word, it would be: predicatable. 
Normal, boring, a speck in the crowd—none of these are bad things. Just like how much of the universe is nothing, you're an empty void, too. Not everyone can be like him. From the minute he was born, Satoru was destined for greatness—a prodigy, heir to a millionaire conglomerate, the Sun itself. His life isn't written on his forehead for everyone to read. 
You are the exact opposite. Completely unassuming. He practically knows everything about you without even having to ask. 
Like how Satoru can instantly tell you've never been over to a boy's room before. 
You've probably never even been in a relationship before him, either. Even before he managed to corral you into his arms, you were always so annoying about the other things like school and friends. Though, you don't really have much of the latter anymore. His fault, Suguru never fails to remind him. 
He watches as your eyes linger over his shelf: the numerous trophies and awards. You're still standing meekly in the corner, still garbed in your school uniform, clutching your backpack. He has to roll his eyes at how obviously you're trying not to look at him. 
"What're you waitin' for?" He finally asks. You jump, eyes flitting over to find him before you find the floor. He resists the urge to roll his eyes again.
It's not like you two haven't done shit before. You sucked him off twice now, and he's finger fucked you against the bleachers. You should really stop being such a prude. 
"C'mere, pretty girl." 
You comply, dropping your bag, making your way to the bed. When you look at him from beneath your lashes, warily expectant, Satoru feels a thrill rushing through his body. 
He's always been impatient. It's in his nature to take. He nips at your mouth, eager to taste your soul from your soft lips. Soft. Everything about you is so soft—Malleable beneath his fingers. 
Satoru didn't explicitly say what his plan was, but you aren't stupid. He can tell you know what's about to happen when you stiffen in his hold, turn to stone within his grip. He would've allowed it if you hadn't gripped onto his shirt, pulling yourself away from his feasting. 
"Satoru?" You whisper, still leaning away. "The door...?" 
Annoyed, he glances over. His room is open. It shouldn't really matter. 
"It's fine." Satoru tells you. "No one's here." No one's ever here. 
You still look panicked, hands gripping his shirt. Satoru finds that adorably pathetic. How helpless you are. How that's all because of him.
He's sure to make a big show of it. Satoru gives a dramatic sigh, slumps his shoulders, but eventually pushes himself off the mattress to push at the door. He even clicks it shut. He's too nice, sometimes. 
"Happy?" You nod, you don't look very relaxed but your shoulders have dropped a bit. 
Satoru doesn't feel too guilty pushing you down, not when you're already in his bed. He isn't known for his patience. He tastes your skin, leaving marks when he can: teeth bites. He pushes you down down down down so he can sink his teeth into your flesh.
You're asleep and under the covers by the time he's done. The moon's out too. Satoru watches it, largely unimpressed. It's so tiny, a sliver of glowing white. 
And then you shift, turning ever so slightly, enough to catch his attention. He should probably kick you out and send you home. That's what he usually does. When he gets into bed with you, draping his arms around your limp body, he convinces himself it's because he's tired and waking you up would be too much of an effort. 
He lets himself enjoy your warmth; it's nothing like the cold glow of the moon. 
☞
Sometimes, even Gojo Satoru wonders if he's dreaming. 
Sometimes, life is too perfect for him to realize it is real. Everything falls perfectly in place, fitting together like those jigsaw puzzles his caretakers used to distract him with halfheartedly. 
You're in his kitchen, chopping vegetables. 
It had already been a few weeks, but he still wasn't used to this. You, being in his home, in his kitchen, in his bed. Satoru thinks he's masking it well, but his mind is still reeling, it's a difficult adjustment. 
Not a bad one. 
It's like he's been drowning for years and he can suddenly breathe when he sees your toothbrush next to his. It's like he's been stabbed and waking up to your sleeping face is the aloe. It's like he's been suffering through a blizzard, and you cooking in his kitchen, humming a song he doesn't know, is the warm sunny day. 
Things have changed since he brought you home. His home doesn't feel incomplete anymore. As though the apartment itself has agreed that this is where you belong. There are more clothes in his closet, more shoes by the door. The space is ever so slightly less empty and it fills him with tangible relief. He can cook a meal, but it's still nice coming home to something warm already made. 
It makes Satoru wonder what things could have been like, had it not been taken away from him. 
You flinch when he wraps his hands around your waist, nestling into the space in your shoulder. You hadn't heard him come in, apparently. Regardless, you don't linger, fingers hesitating before resuming your task. He finds this part of you adorable. Ignoring the thing that makes your heart race, as though he'll just fade away into the shadows. 
It's his ego that makes him slink into your warm skin, making sure you know he isn't going anywhere. 
"Smells good," he says. 
You nod, pushing away the bell peppers in favor of the onions. Unlike him, you acclimated extremely well. It'd taken nothing to lightly push you to add more and more stuff from your apartment to his. You quietly moved from one setting to another. He remembered this trait of yours from high school. Go with the flow. 
Though, perhaps, it was less out of genuine apathy. Satoru doesn't have to say what will happen to you if you refuse him. He doesn't have to throw lectures about his family and the influence he has on you. He likes that you aren't stupidly brave. He likes that you're meeker, quieter. You pick your battles. 
But he thinks he'd like to see you crack, just one more time. 
"Hey," he says, "let's go out for dinner tomorrow night. There's this restaurant just out of town that has great shrimp cutlet." 
He expects you to nod, like you always do whenever he decides to do something impulsive and meaningless. Instead, you bite your lip. 
"I can't." You mutter after a minute of silence. "I have work. Mr. Higuruma just closed a deal and—and I think I'll be coming home later and later this week." 
Home. It's enough to make his heart flutter. It's the first time you've called the apartment that. Your words almost make him forget about the second thing you said.
Higuruma. The lawyer guy with dead eyes. Satoru remembers him. He always looked at Satoru like he was a child, too stupid to do anything. He never liked how the guy looked at you. Besides, he was way too old for you, never mind that you were taken. You were always taken.
"Oh, right." Satoru gives an exaggerated sigh, fully leaning on you. "Work. What a shame." 
You nod, clearly thinking the conversation is done with. Satoru wasn't so charitable. 
"Y'know, you don't really have to work. Not anymore, pretty girl." His grip on your waist tightens ever so slightly as he pulls you towards his chest. Your hands freeze. The knife glints in your fingers. 
"I make plenty of money. You should just stay home. That way, you don't have to work shitty hours." 
You stiffen underneath his fingertips. He's disappointed when your skin turns frigid. When he peeks over your shoulder, intent to look at your face, there's a nervous smile twitching on your lips. 
"I don't think that's a good idea..." you trail off hesitantly. 
"Hm?" He tilts his head with faux confusion. "Why not?" 
The knife moves up and down, as though you can't decide whether to place it back on the cutting board. Satoru realizes it's your way of fidgeting. 
"It...it would just be unprofessional to leave when everything is so hectic." You finally decide on. 
Satoru scoffs. "So? Who cares. I'm sure everything will work itself out. Just rely on me, pretty girl." 
You don't like the answer, but you don't make a comment on it. Satoru just watches you rotate the knife in your hands. He wonders if you want to use it on him. Slice at his neck, leave him out to bleed on the pretty tile floor. Cut straight through his heart, ending it quickly. 
Or would you like to carve out his eye and keep it as a souvenir? He thinks he'd happily let you. It sounds romantic.
You don't do anything. Instead, you pull back your shoulders as if you're physically ready for war. 
"'Toru," you say gently, softly, and it works in his eyes, "I...can't let you support me like this. It's not right. It's not like we're married or anything." You laugh, like it's a joke. Satoru doesn't cave. 
"I mean, not yet." Satoru rocks you back and forth in his hold. "But gimme' some time to shop for a ring, okay? It needs to be perfect for my perfect girl." 
You follow his movements. He can see your mouth twitch out of the corner of his eye. Your eyes get glassy. 
He knows he's terrible, but he really wants you to crack. 
"You're right, Satoru." You say, "I'll put in my two weeks tomorrow." He grins in delight. 
"That's a great idea, baby." Satoru kisses you on the cheek.
Right, you pick your battles. 
☞
Satoru tells you he loves you, and you're gone, not even three days later. 
He breaks and shatters into pieces he'll never be able to put back. Each day without you is torture. He feels like a corpse, just going through the motions. His clothes feel looser. His skin doesn't feel like his own anymore. Every time he looks in the mirror, he sees someone he barely even recognizes. 
It's like you left with his heart. 
No, you ran away with his soul. 
One day, you were Satoru's, safely tucked underneath his arm...the next, you just weren't. 
His parents don't acknowledge it beyond casual disgust. Every time Suguru talks to him, Satoru can barely comprehend it. Days pass by. Everything reminds him of you. His bed feels emptier; he hates it when he reaches out to the space you used to take up and finds it cold. Your locker remains untouched. Nothing is ever the same. 
Satoru tries looking for you, but you're untraceable. No social media, no friends left to tell where you went, not even your fucking parents know where you are. 
You left him. 
You left him to rot. 
Denial comes first. It can't be. You wouldn't. You wouldn't fucking dare. Anger seeps in the next. For weeks, Satoru can only imagine what he'll do when he finds you. He'll break your legs this time. He'll squeeze your neck so hard that your head pops. He'll kill you over and over again until your corpse is begging to be forgiven. And he won't ever stop, because you're Satoru's. 
That doesn't stay for long. He feels himself get weaker day by day. Food tastes like dirt on his tongue. Any of his earlier vices are gone. 
He misses you. 
Why wouldn't he? You were his everything. 
Like all things, it passes. You aren't there to fuel the flames, so the fire wanes in his chest. The ache in his heart gets smaller and smaller. Things keep him busy. College. Then, his new position in the office. 
Ten years pass. He’s forgotten what you look like. But he remembers parts. Every so often, he sees a flicker of you within someone else. Your eyes are on another woman’s face. Your lips on a girl's smile. It irritates him to no end. It’s even worse when he starts seeking them out, keeping those parts of them for just the night. 
Sometimes, if he closes his eyes, he can still hear your voice—what he thinks is your voice—soft, needy Toru Toru Toru. 
“Gojo, sir?” 
He blinks. Ijichi stands in front of him. Satoru looks down at the meticulously crafted pages. 
“Mr. Higuruma needed you to sign this,” Ijichi lifts a paper filled with bureaucratic bullshit he pays other people to understand.
Why did Suguru take off now? 
“Sure sure,” Satoru says, “I’ll get it done.” 
Ijichi shifts nervously. “Well, it’d be best to finish it right now, Sir. His paralegal is just about to leave the building.” 
Oh, right. The lawyer’s assistant. Gojo could never get a good look at that person, but the assistant resembled a shaking deer to him at most times. He’s not even sure if they’ve ever talked to each other, but he always found the other a bit odd. Big eyes. A shaky expression. 
It was a little annoying to look at. 
☞
Some executive was throwing an office gala, and since he is Gojo Satoru, he needed to come along. 
And since you are Satoru's, you're dragged along too. 
Honestly, the only upside to this is you and that new dress he bought you. A velvet turquoise dress that he can't take his eyes off of. The gold jewelry draped across your neck makes you even more delectable. But his favorite part of the outfit is the shimmering diamond ring. 
The ceremony hadn't been anything extravagant. He'd just booked out one of his favorite restaurants, ordering lobster and sweet wine. He remembered hearing his heartbeat when he bent down on one knee, opening the elegant ringbox, like an oyster revealing its pearl. Looking back, he didn't know why he was so nervous: it's not like you'd say no. 
"What do you think of it?" He asked when you were back in his bed, bare from everything except that glistening ring. 
"It's pretty." You spoke, perfectly nestled in his chest. 
He feels in his heart when he hugs you, a small kiss in your hair. You say something, but he can't hear it; he is too preoccupied with feeling you in his arms. It's still so new, even after all these weeks. It's the anxiety, knowing at any second you could leave and he'd be nothing. He won't allow that, he can't. 
"I thought about something else, y'know?" He speaks quietly in your hair. "Ropes, chains, maybe. I could keep you here, forever. But—but then I realized how sad you'd get. I couldn't go through with it." 
You give no reaction. When he tilts your chin up to get a better look at you, your eyes are glassy. 
"You get that, right?" 
You nod. He's really too nice, sometimes. 
He spends the entire evening with you, tucked away in a corner, away from prying eyes. Just because he has to be there doesn't mean he has to be sociable. Every time someone walks up to him and you, a drink in one hand, he resists the urge to bite their head off, feigning politeness. He complains about their lack of decorum to you multiple times throughout the night, his head resting on your shoulder. You pliantly sit there, listening and nodding. 
About ten minutes after the last board member left, someone else walks up. By then, Satoru's patience has mostly declined. He peers over with disdain before he can really process who he's seeing. 
"Suguru!" He waves over. 
You stiffen, and Satoru remembers you haven't seen him in ten years. 
Suguru walks over with an easy smile on his face. He's nicely tanned, and Satoru is reminded of the pictures he sent over of the Maldives. Maybe that's where the honeymoon should be. 
"Had fun slacking?" Satoru asks with a grin; Suguru shrugs. 
When his eyes meet yours, he feigns delighted surprise. Suguru speaks your name with practiced shock. It's imperfect, only Satoru can see the amusement dripping from his fangs. 
"Long time, no see!" Effortlessly, Suguru corrals you into a hug. You follow, giving into the cold touch of affection before pulling away back to him. 
"Hello, Geto." You say when you're rightfully by his side again. "It's nice to see you again." 
Suguru laughs, light and airy. "You as well!" He looks at your hands, tilts his head. "Oh? Congratulations, you two! When's the date?" 
"Eh, we'll figure that out later." Satoru gives a quick kiss on your cheek. "Everything happened so fast, y'know? Us reuniting and everything: It feels like fate." Suguru's eyes flash. "Let's not rush this. We'll take our time." 
Suguru nods along thoughtfully. He's looking right at you, and you stare right back. Not used to feeling left out, Satoru is quick to intervene. 
The conversation is light, two long-time friends reuniting after a long spell. You stay quiet like decor, settling into Satoru's side. Suguru doesn't acknowledge you after that. 
"We gotta' go. It's getting late." He eventually says, tugging you along. 
Suguru gives a pleasant smile. "Of course, of course. We should catch up sometime." He directs this at you. You give a strained smile before Satoru leads you off. 
"Suguru." The man turns. Satoru grins. 
"I loved my gift. Thanks, man." 
Suguru's smile is catlike. 
"You kids have fun." He calls out right when Satoru's dragging you away all over again. 
You're silent. Not in the way you usually are, pliant and cute. You're thinking. He gives you a nudge. 
"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" 
You shake your head. "Nothing." And then you say, "He's changed." 
From your view, Satoru supposed that's true, but really—
"Nah." Gojo shakes his head. "He's just dropped his act." 
Satoru's hand was wrapped around your waist when you two ran into him. You hadn't noticed him yet, eyes fixed on the floor. The lawyer hadn't changed since the last time Satoru saw him. That dead expression, those creepy eyes. Higuruma's eyes flit over your figure, before he finds Satoru's. 
He stares. Satoru stares right back. Something gives, and the lawyer calls out your name. 
"How are you?" His tone is cool, and this is another reason why Satoru can't stand him. The guy has no tells. He's just a talking robot. 
Unlike you, fidgeting by his side, practically vibrating with nerves. 
"I'm fine, sir." Your smile gets more painful to look at by the second. 
Your voice earns you a tired smile, a mild pinch of humor. Higuruma shakes his head, waving you off. 
"No need for formalities. We aren't at work." His smile drops just a bit, as he watches you for a bit more, eyes flickering to your hand. "I was...surprised when I saw the announcement. I didn't know you and Mr. Gojo were involved." 
Satoru grins, making himself known like a shark in the water. His grip on you tightens. 
"Oh, you didn't tell your boss 'bout us, baby?" He looks down at you with cruel mirth, pinching your cheek. You wilt. "We go way back—highschool sweethearts. Lost contact for a couple years. It's actually thanks to you we were able to find each other again. We'll send you the invites." He presses a kiss to your hairline. 
Higuruma hums at that. Satoru expected jealousy in his eyes; he's even more upset when he finds none. 
"I'll be sure to save the date." 
Then he shuts Satoru down completely. 
"I heard about your resignation. It's sad to see you go," Higuruma says. 
You nod, but you don't look at him. "Satoru and I talked about it, and we decided it's best if I focused on other things." 
"Very, very busy, this one nowadays." Satoru interrupts. "Between wedding plannin' and all that."
"Is that so?" Higuruma says dismissively, "in any case, you already knew this, but I've begun preparations to start a new firm." He reaches into his wallet, pulling out a card. "I always thought you were good at what you do. If you ever want to get back into the industry, call me." 
You take the laminate slip with a quiet thank you. Satoru feels blue turn into red. 
When Higuruma slips into the party, Satoru tightens his grip on you a little harsher than necessary. He's dragging you through the halls. Behind him, he can hear you stumbling over your heels, begging him to slow down. He knows he should care, but he doesn't. That damn lawyer. Those dead eyes. Mocking him. 
"Did you fuck him?" He asks when his anger has reached a high enough peak that he presses you against the wall. 
Your eyes are wild, flitting back and forth. He'd your expression a little cute if he wasn't feeling like a furnace, at the moment. 
"No. I—we never." You say. "Mr. Higuruma was my boss. And—and he's married—" 
"Really? 'cause you're precious 'Mr. Higuruma' was eyeing you up and down like he's already seen what's underneath." 
"'Toru." You plead. "Let's—let's just talk about this at home. Please? Let's just go home." Home. You said that word again. If he were a better man, he'd melt, but he's not. 
"Shut up." He spits out. "Hike up your dress." 
You stare at him. Then, you try to smile, like he's making a shitty joke. It wavers on your lips. 
"It's...we're still in public." You whisper and it's so cute you think he'd actually care about that. "We—we can't...we shouldn't—" 
"Baby." His voice drops, as he licks at your neck. "Pull up your dress, get rid of those panties. Otherwise, I'm just gonna take it off myself." 
He doesn't need to explain anything further. You already get what he's saying. Right now, Satoru doesn't care if you leave this building with your clothes intact. 
He thinks the worst part is that he knows he's being unreasonable. He's backing you into a corner where you'll have no choice but to surrender, and he knows that, but he keeps thinking about those man's eyes and how he looked at you and it was just all so much. 
He'll apologize to you later, with flowers and shiny gold earrings. He'd give you the world; just be good for him now. 
He just needs his fix. So just be good for him now.
☞
When Satoru discovers it's been you all along, he feels like an idiot. 
In a pathetic way of defending himself, he convinces himself there's no way he could have recognized you. You're so different compared to your high-school self. 18-years old, fresh-eyed, naive. The you now is all grown up: a mature voice, a new hairstyle, clothes he'd never even think you'd wear. 
It also didn't help that he couldn't even see your face since you turned away every time he looked at you. 
Embarrassing. He's just glad Suguru wasn't here to call his blunder. 
He thought about it a lot. He spent an hour in his office, pacing around, doing nothing but thinking and thinking and thinking. Part of him wants to corner you already. He can already feel your rabbit heartbeat on his fingertips, the look you always had in your eyes when he was right in front of you. Part of him wants to ruin your life the same way you ruined his. He wants to tear you apart, piece by piece. Leave you in tattered pieces. 
But he can't do that. Satoru still loves you. 
You left him a hollow shell. Broken. Tainted. There are pieces of him he still can't find. He should hurt you. He's hurt other people for doing less. But they weren't you. Even after all those years, he's never quite stopped loving you. 
But he wants to sate his bloodlust, just a tiny bit. 
His perfect opportunity comes where he, the lawyer, and you are all sitting in one of the waiting rooms. The lawyers explaining something, possibly about the ongoing case. Satoru doesn't really care. Besides, this is what Ijichi's here for. 
He waits until everyone is quiet. You're unassuming. By then, your shoulders have lowered, like you think you've gotten away with it 
"Hey," he says, "do we know each other?" 
The other two don't bother, but you stop completely. The pen in your grip shakes. Satoru resists the urge to laugh. 
You timidly glance up like you're still delusional enough to think there's a fifth person he's talking to. Satoru has always been told his eyes are like two suns: bright and intense. He lowers his glasses. You wilt under the solar flares. 
"Hm?" He prods, enjoying the way you shrivel. "Have we?" 
You swallow, glassy eyes flicking from side to side. Finally, you clear your throat. 
"No." You mutter, voice barely a whisper. "I don't think we have." 
"Are you sure?" To intensify the magnifying glass, he leans closer, like he's examining you. "'cause you look really familiar." 
To his delight, you chew on your bottom lip. He can imagine biting it until it's bloody and raw. He stops just when you're about to shatter completely. Breaking you too soon would take the fun out of it. 
"Oh, wait. I don't think that was you." He relents, pulling back and he can see the relief ooze over your face. "I think I got you mixed up with someone who interviewed here a couple months ago. My bad. Maybe you have one of those faces." 
You nod, eager to take the out. 
"Yes," you quickly say, "one of those faces." 
How adorable. You haven't changed since high school. 
He's usually not this obvious, but Suguru isn't here to berate him about it and it's not like anyone else will get on his ass. The women he brings in are his usuals: tall models with full lips and perfect bodies. Satoru parades them around like expensive jewelry. He wants to see you seethe in envy, stew in it. He wants you to see what you abandoned. 
But you don't do any of that. You just sit there, like the dutiful little workbee you are, right by your boss's side.
And then, you give one of them your jacket. Satoru can't stand it wrapped around her waist like she fucking owns it—own you. She wears it so flagrantly, like any token from you shouldn't be worshipped and coveted. He hates it. He hates it. 
"I've never done this in an office before." She squeals when she shuts the door behind her. "So, how do you—" 
"Get out." 
The girl pauses. What was her name again? Satou was too pissed to give a single shit. 
"Um, what?" 
"What, you deaf or something?" He waves her off as if he weren't seething. "Get out." 
"Oh," she says, blinks, and then she takes a step back. 
"Wait." Satoru stops her. 
"Take that off." He points to your jacket. She does it with zero complaints. When he tells her to drop it on the chair, she follows that too. Reluctant expectation. Kind of like you. Maybe that's why he was initially invested in her. 
He only takes the fabric after she's gone. It's soft underneath his fingertips. Nothing designer, but good quality. When you're finally underneath him again, he'll buy you better clothes, all the jackets you want. 
He needs you. He can't wait anymore. 
He needs you, whether you want him or not. 
☞
Satoru wakes up to something crashing. 
It's faint, obviously coming from the bathroom. Not the best way to be woken up. He remembers the first few nights he brought you home. He'd hear you crying in your sleep, choking on tiny sobs. It was the sweetest little thing, like a whimpering puppy. 
These noises are a little more concerning. 
He yawns, sliding out of bed. You didn't bother locking the door. You didn't even close it all the way, either. A sliver of light comes from the crack before he pushes it open. 
"Baby?" He calls. You don't answer. 
You had knocked over a caddy. Toothbrushes, hairclips, soap dispensers, perfume bottles were scattered all over the floor. You're curled up in the corner of the bathroom, huddled right next to the tub. You seem physically okay, no blood, no bruising, but he can't see your face. And you're shivering. 
Satoru's about to call out to you, when he steps on something. He looks down at the tiles. 
A positive pregnancy test. 
"I'm not keeping it." Your voice is hoarse, like you've been crying for hours. "I'm not keeping it." 
"Pretty girl." He coos, trying his best to keep the glee out of his voice and failing. "Let's not worry 'bout that, right now. C'mon, let's get you off the floor." He reaches for your hand. You smack it away. It stung. 
When you look at him, eyes bloodshot and brimming with angry tears, Satoru's heart skips a beat. He feels like he just trapped a wild animal, making it pace in a corner. Any wrong move could result in his hand getting bit off. It's scary. 
He's finally cracked you. 
"Fuck you." Your voice shakes and wobbles, but it's loud and you're clear. "Fuck you. You're a sick, twisted man-child. You ruined everything. You ruined my entire life and—and now you—" 
You're cut off by his giggling. It sounds psychotic even to his ears. He's beyond caring. You flinch when lifts your face up, forcing you to look into his eyes. He's smiling so hard it hurts. 
"Yeah, I did that. I ruined you. I ruined your entire fucking life. For me." He stresses, squeezing your face so hard you try to pull away. "But I had to. You—you wouldn't be here if I didn't." He sighs, pressing your body to his. "I need you."
You're both huddled on the bathroom floor, captive and lover. He's clutching you to his chest, smiling, nestling his face in your hair. You don't say anything for a while. 
"I'm not keeping it." You whisper. "I'm not. I wouldn't stand it if it ended up like you." 
It's spiteful. You're still in that phase where you think your venom can hurt him, as though he'd see your blows as anything but blessings. Satoru thinks to his own childhood. Where he was given everything, lathered in gold and silver. Yet, the house was always cold. But you were always so warm. 
"That won't happen." He tells you. "'cause you're here." 
Your anger has dwindled to smoke. Maybe you've finally realized how crazy he was for you. 
"Please let me go." It's not a beg. It's not even a request. 
"I can't," he honestly says. 
"You won't." You correct him. 
He smiles in your hair. 
"No baby," he says, "I can't." 
If you ran away again, if you escaped his claws, he'd probably die. Drop dead, rot on the floor. He needs you. Even more than he needs food, water, and oxygen. You won't understand that. You've never been in love before. 
You don't fight him. If anything, you sink into his hold. He's there to catch you, heart soaring. You lean into his chest 
"I hate you." You whisper. His heart beats a little faster. It's probably the first time you've ever been so honest with him. 
God, he loves you. 
"I hope our baby has your eyes," he says. 
"I hope our baby looks exactly like you." 
You say nothing, but when he leans down to kiss you, you finally kiss back. You're cracked, and your essence is ready to be molded in his image, just like he's always wanted you to be. 
If Satoru is the Sun, then you must certainly be his universe, the plane in which he rests, because there would be no existence for him if not for you. 
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nereidprinc3ss ¡ 11 months ago
Text
baby fever
in which reader and spencer discuss having a baby while at work
fluff warnings/tags: fem/AFAB!reader, bau!reader, BOYFRIEND!SPENCER or husband if u so desire, discussions of pregnancy/having a baby (obviously), reader wants a baby, so does spencer a/n: god i need him so badly. should i write follow up smut?? mwahaha evil emoji......
The coffee finished brewing minutes ago, but you’re still standing by the pot, watching Anderson’s daughter toddling around the bullpen on chubby legs. She’s not very adept at walking, but her spirit is indomitable—every time she tips a little too far forward, she catches herself and gets right back up. It’s not like she’s doing anything particularly impressive or even interesting, but you can’t take your eyes off her. Every movement makes your heart twinge, every giggle or curious quirk of her head is so adorable it physically hurts in your chest. 
From your peripheral vision you see Spencer approaching, bearing his own empty mug, but not even he can draw your attention away from the adorable little pixie and her tutu and her pigtails. 
“That is the cutest kid I have ever seen in my life,” you whisper to Spencer, hoping the quiet tone of your voice will help hide how much you feel like cooing and squealing. 
He smiles to himself as he pours his coffee. 
“That’s Rosie. Have you said hi yet?” 
“I’m afraid if I talk to her I’ll try to keep her.” 
“She is pretty adorable.” 
You turn to him as he leans next to you on the counter, sipping his coffee casually. 
“Adorable? Spencer. Puppies are adorable. You’re not understanding the magnitude of what I mean right now. I can’t explain to you how much adorable doesn’t cut it. I’m not kidding about the child abduction thing.” 
HIs eyes slide around the room as he chuckles into his mug. 
“Let’s maybe not joke about kidnapping a child in FBI headquarters.” 
“I’m not joking,” you hiss. “I feel like I’m going insane. I just—” 
At the last second you stop yourself, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. 
“You just what?” Spencer asks, adjusting the hem of your shirt with his free hand. You glance down, watching the care he takes in the tiniest detail that you wouldn’t have given a second thought to. 
“Is something wrong with my shirt?” 
His eyes flick up to yours, hazel tinted with mild surprise. 
“No. It just was sliding up your waist a little bit.” As he says it, his knuckles brush the bare skin of your torso. You suppress a shiver, studying his profile once he pulls his hand away and goes for another sip. 
“Can we have one?” 
Your inopportune timing results in coffee dribbling down Spencer’s chin as he quickly attempts to wipe it away, wide eyes torn between you and trying to assess the mess he’s made. 
“You--you mean like a baby?” 
“Yeah, like a baby,” you say, grabbing his shoulders and squaring them to you before dabbing the coffee from his face and jacket. He watches on as you clean him up, completely still except for his wandering eyes. 
“I thought we were waiting on that.” 
“Waiting for what? A better time? There’s never going to be a good time with this job. And it’s not like we’d have to quit. Look at JJ. She has two and still does it.” 
“First of all,” Spencer begins, quickly recovering from your surprise proposition, “I don’t love the idea of either of us being in the field with you pregnant. And secondly, JJ also has Will and her mother to take care of the boys. We don’t have that. We’re both here all the time.” 
“I don’t care,” you groan, trashing the paper towels once you’ve done the best you can with his clothing. “We’d figure it out somehow!” 
“Mhm. It sounds like you’ve really devoted some careful consideration to this.” 
You drop your head to your shoulder, giving him your best puppy dog eyes and pulling lightly on his shirtsleeve. 
“Oh, come on. You haven’t thought about it at all? My perfect brain and your pretty face fusing to create a future Nobel-prize winner? Imagine how cute she would be, Spencer, we could put her hair in little braids and pigtails and we could dress her up and she could be in soccer and ballet and—” 
“She?” he smiles, studying your face intently. You roll your eyes. 
“Yes, she. Obviously we would have a girl. You—” 
The idea of Spencer as the father of your daughter hits you like a tidal wave, stopping you dead in your tracks. The images materialize in your mind’s eye so clearly, it’s like they’re already memories, so real and tangible you have no doubt it must come to fruition someday. But if before, your ranting was mostly a silly fantasy—now it’s become a bit more intense. 
He seems to sense your shift in mood. The big smile thaws slightly as he subtly grabs your hand on the counter. 
“What? What’s wrong?” 
There he goes again. Being kind. Being perfect. 
Tears sting your eyes, but you don’t let them fall.  
“Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I just... didn’t realize how badly I actually wanted that until I said it out loud.” 
The concern in his eyes softens to pure affection as he runs his thumb over the back of your hand. 
“I want it too. And whenever you decide you’re ready I’ll drop everything for you.” 
His words are like compounding pressure to the deep heat within you—forming something so solid and perfect you don’t have to wonder if it’s real. A ten on the Mohs scale, a concept that gets closer to actualizing by the minute.  
Your voice is quiet, revelatory as you admire the amber facets in his eyes. 
“You’re ready?”  
“I’ve been ready for quite some time,” he admits. And at once you feel the certainty of him paint your past and your future with one broad brushstroke. One day you will look back on your life and remember the time before Spencer, and that will be it. There is before Spencer, and with Spencer, but never an after Spencer. He wants to create something utterly permanent with you. “Come here.” 
He sets his mug down, carefully pulling you forward so you’re toe to toe with your back to the rest of the BAU; so that only he can see you. Despite how good the two of you are at avoiding PDA, occasionally an exception is made. He tenderly wipes away the few tears that have sprung from your waterline and accepts your arms around his waist, mirroring your embrace and completely enveloping you.  
“I love you,” he murmurs against the top of your hair, quiet enough that nobody in the office has a chance of hearing it. You sniffle. 
“I love you too. Also you smell really good.” 
He chuckles, hand roaming up and down your back for a moment. 
“And that is why we are holding off on this at least for a while.” 
“What do you mean?” you whisper indignantly as he gently peels you off him. His hands remain a steadying force on your waist as he smiles down at you beatifically. 
“I mean let’s give it two weeks and see if you still want a baby when you’re not ovulating.” 
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