#bc theyre barely there lol
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yall knew it was only a matter of time until i did something like this
#fanart#sth#sonic fanart#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sonadow#sonic x shadow#shadow x sonic#shadonic#sonic oc#sonic original character#sonic fancharacter#sonic fan character#sonic fusion#not gonna tag the other characters#bc theyre barely there lol
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daucus carota
#landscape#digital art#speedpaint#study#digital painting#hey so theres a few things not quite right with me :)#one of them being my insane perfectionism#and the other day i realised#theres so many weird rules in my brain that im barely even aware of#im stopping myself from painting things i would like to paint because theyre... too easy???#and like anything that isnt a struggle is worthless apparently#but guess what friends :))))))#its actually Allowed to do something that is fun and easy#wild right?#wow#anyway heres this dune landscape that i churned out in under an hour not bc that is easy but bc im really good at drawing lol#featuring my favourite flower#queen anne's lace
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so somehow it’s the first time I’ve seen your Dogs illustration from May. it’s very very cool and strongly reminds me of AI-generated art — did you use AI to inspire the shapes? or otherwise influence the piece somehow? interested in your process! very cool.
yes! some more directly reference ai images id generated than others lol
#these were made in artbreeder (formerly called ganbreeder)#theyre obviously shifting their focus to ai art if u couldnt tell by the name change#which is unfortunate but they still have available the original ai image generator i used years ago#these pics are just the ones i remember referencing#i referenced a ton of different images to get a good idea of how to make the dogs sufficiently fucked up#i have a bunch of older horror art on here that was very inspired by ai images but most of the time i didnt use references#just tried to emulate the effect of ai#i want to start using references more often so i can get a better feel for this stuff and get better at emulating that effect without them#its def challanging trying to draw something that just barely registers as a thing without drawing the thing itself#and that emulates the uncannyness of ai images#i also dont want to just draw the ai images one to one exactly as they are i more so want to create the same feeling that they create#while still having it be my own thing#its honestly kinda hard to explain the process of drawing this stuff just bc of the nature of ai images lol
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old man yaoi
#some ACTUAL old man yaoi bc theyre in their 40s bare minimum#more likely 50s/60s in spy's case. hm. maybe i should practice drawing old men more now that i look at this maybe LOL. whatevs#spy had his balaclava on w/ scouts mom so should he for engie? probably. i like drawing his face though so pretend theres a good explanation#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 spy#tf2 engineer#engiespy#practical espionage#napoleon complex#lotsa names for em#doodles
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this took me 3 and a half hours to make . enjoy
#it was fun tho i love making these#mp4#handcrafted funnies#enstars#ensemble stars#mayoi ayase#tatsumi kazehaya#hiiro amagi#aira shiratori#rinne amagi#niki shiina#not tagging the other 4 bc theyre barely here lol
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the way some people talk online is so deeply out of touch in regards to concerts its astounding
#if ur american and bragging about going to 5+ shows of a tour that's got 9 stops and only a couple places w/ multiple days...............lol#idk. as someone disabled who can only get ada tickets - which are always limited - it just feels tacky lmfao#but esp so when a lot of acts BARELY come to other places and people can barely get those tickets#and are one of the only times i'd be excited theyre going to multiple stops bc god knows when they'll be back#but. lol. whatever. anyways!#tay talks
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some kind of fantasy or royalty au where saikos dad, as per tradition, sends saiko out on a quest to prove himself worthy of inheriting his position. it sounds brave and grand, but it really is nothing more than a simple, completely safe little field trip, because saikos dad could never put his beloved son in danger or even let him face difficulty. only saiko is terribly bad with directions and never bothered to learn what the land hes inheriting even looks like, and the three servants accompanying him are all ridiculously incompetent, so not only do they get lost, but they end up talking to the wrong guy, and by way of saikos dads instructions being somewhat vague and unclear and none of them being all that bright, what was supposed to be a mere errand becomes a deadly epic
#and saiko has to cover for all of them bc hes the most competent of the group in just about every way#strategy common sense combat etc#except its still saiko so even if hes the mvp of this party hes still mediocre at best#and never really practiced his swordsmanship seriously#so theyre always running and screaming and barely escaping death. LOL#saipsi#$quad
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I know I'm a professional hater but watching a playthrough of silly hill 2 remake and there's something about it that is so...blah to me
#chatty!#also they cut this town is full of monsters line so objectively worst game ever made#a call back snide james comment isnt good enough not with his gruff action man voice i just can Not be bothered#maybe it is the looming Action Man presence i am hating actually. LMAO#i think the ''redesigns'' (lbr theyre barely altered) look fine i think its very funny u can break windows#some of the dialogue is leaving me like :/ bro they fucked up ANYWAY WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANYWAY#granted i sought it out specifically so only heard that not the rest of that bit but it really did not hit the same#and that part is so so iconic to me. literally what do you mean ''anyway''#but anyway. LOL#it took 2 hours to get to the apartments bc first u had to fix a jukebox. and the whole time im like#literally what is this what is happening. thats my take
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sketchbook Roger doodling, played around with colored markers too :]
#ocs#roger#cai arts#these markers r like almost 10 years old theyre still troopin o7#(bc i barely ever used them lol)
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Mira and her buddy Fate :DD
#twisted fate#samira#league of legends#effie is genuinely the cleverest most amazing person Ever 4ever thank you so much for being so nice and considerate and always listening to#my silly ramblings#anyways i think theyd get along bc theyre very similar in a lot of weird ways#hc that during the ruination he hung out in Noxus to be with his buddy Mira and they did merc work together#leblanc tries to scooby doo kill him for intervering with her work or whatever but shes so. Black Rose. about it. That its barely a bother#which is unrelated to these 2 but its so funny to me and therefore canon since riot hates its lore lol
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i may be just gasping at straws here but there is something just. so insane about how the nature of kendall and shiv’s relationship is somewhat cannibalistic. like shiv spitting in his drink and kendall drinking it anyway and the ��i love you but i cannot fucking stomach you’ and the idea of kendall being the sacrificial lamb in 2x10 + shiv’s ‘can’t eat’ . like the whole consumption aspect of it all.. just wondering if you had any thoughts on it i suppose!!
YES very true. the kitchen scene is a callback to their childhood in more ways than one--it reflects the siblings' relationship with each other and with food and how they're linked (dyou remember the summer of competitive eating disorders:)). its notable that only shiv and kendall say they're hungry despite none of them having eaten dinner, and that kendall is the only one who ends up eating anything. roman licks the cheese as a joke, passes the ingredients to shiv, who actually blends the discordant foods together, and together they feed kendall this drink that is definitely terrible for him. siblings ! no but i do think its an unsubtle metaphor but it works ! kendalls position as the heir has always relied on roman being the weaker dog bolstering his position, on shiv being the baby who will never get it bc shes a girl. and if he wont drink the rest, they'll drench him with it, turn his own promised position against him in jealousy and self interest and a mistaken notion of love
and shiv spitting in it was very much foreshadowing, yeah. i liked how it was a callback to her spitting in kendalls notebook after the "rape me/i'm not the only one," incident during her speech--it was a childish act then, and its one now, and it shows how any attempts at enmity or solidarity come from the same place of shared abuse, of seeing someone better than you see yourself and punishing them for the traits you share. kendall drinking it again reflects how his position will never be untinged by shivs simultaneous understanding as well as animosity. mirror traps real
the way this all relates to the characters' relationships with food is also ofc very interesting. roman doesnt eat at all, he denies his body and sees it as evidence of his failure to be logan's son. he never wanted ceo, it couldn't have been him, dad's death cements the impossibility of the love he craved by which proximity to the ceo position was made valuable at all. shiv admitted she was starving but never ate anything, only asked her mom if there was food. she brings up food only as a move, only as something that can serve her, because to acknowledge it otherwise would be weakness. ofc this is reflective of her relationship with power, and love--she'll bring it up first so she's noted as being aware of the cards at play without showing her hand. but she never actually gets it because when she's said the quiet part out loud, voiced her ambition, there's nothing stopping the quiet parts of her weaknesses in this world from being consumed i.e. her womanhood :) in the end all she can do is acknowledge the fact of her starvation, and spit into the poisonous food bowl while still hungry.
ofc its kendalls bowl she's spitting into. he sees food as fuel, as something that gets him where he needs to go, but never actually enjoys it, and sees such enjoyment as juvenile--we're not at buckley anymore--but his firm belief in rationality and health corresponding to awareness means its another step to the ideal position that doesn't really exist. at the end of the day he will drink the concoction because he considers himself stronger for it. i did a fucking year in shangai, i'm ready, etc
ultimately this is reflected in their choices in the endings. roman says yes first then retracts with shiv. i think hes the one who says shiv has no stomach for admin which is like, him pinning the decision to support kendall as well as the consideration to kill him onto shiv lol. SHIV doesnt have the stomach for admin, and SHIV cannot stomach kendall, and it comes down to the same thing--shiv shutting kendall out bc she's never been able to digest his choices. this DOES relate to pierce ofc and logan throwing up at the breakfast and ultimately waystar being a declining corporation that could never have eaten up pierce. do you see what im saying do you see how it makes sense from this angle that shiv was the only one who ended up still "in," even if only as the ceo's wife. shiv being unable to stomach kendall is the final nail in the coffin--its acceptance of this fact. of the death of waystar, and by extension logan. anyway i keep thinking about how when they all trooped into the kitchen, wet through, kids again, there was never really any real food in the fridge :)
#shiv roy#kendall roy#roman roy#machinery#usually i would just tag this sibs but its not really abt them as siblings more abt them individually rip. organized blog at what cost#hopefully this makes sense lmao i rehashed some stuff but truly the kitchen scene is one of my favs and not just bc theyre having fun <3#i barely touched the surface when it came to pierce waystar being eaten etc etc but i hope the connections r clear. girls when METAPHORS#anyway. ty for the ask i enjoyed answering this <33#sorry it got so long lol i could go on honestly theres aspects i missed#answered#did not proofread btw so if you see spelling errors etc no you dont <3
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Crying sobbing cringing at my older self (/nm), I found an old scrapped creepypasta fanfiction of mine I wrote in a notebook (before I discovered Wattpad)
I wrote it when I was like 13 lmao, and I hate the fact that I don't think I'd be able to write something in this quality at my adult ass age
Teach me, little 13 year old me...how are you so cool?! Teach me how to be as cringe as you!!! Aaaaaaa
#nowadays im just distracting myself with anything and everything so naturally i started digging in my drawer#i was looking for an empty grid notebook but instead i ended up finging#1 my old scrapped HTF comic i was planning when i barely spoke english (so it's full of language errors)#2 an old scrapped creepypasta comic i might actually end up drawing bc even tho theyre ooc af the concept of the comic is funny to me lol#3 this old scrapped creepypasta fanfiction starring ticcy toby (ticci toby??? i forgot how to write it)#i wish i didn't give up on it back then so itd be longer now so i could read more of it lmao#istg I'm interested now#what if...#what if i made this into a collaboration. with me and I. Past me + present me + the future mes#every now and then I'd just add something to it. that's a fun idea i think#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#pofazing#I'm once again asking for ur forgiveness for my lack of posting...#throw back#cringing
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Mixing and matching Ren Fest Fionna looks :) I think I'm going to go with # 1!
#costest#renaissance festival#fionna campbell#fionna and cake#cosplay#about me#my face#black cosplayer#next step is making a retractable grass sword!#god bless the team for making fionna a thicc baddie bc cosplaying most other characters gives me dysmorphia 🥲#and shes just like me frfr#ill post the finished product with makeup when i get to it!!#btw i was going to go for a fighter class look but thats. so much armor i cant afford or make 😭#i can alter things. repurpose things. but cant sew whole items yet. cant work with leather or pleather for SURE.#and i think even in a dnd or medieval universe fionna wouldnt rly go with the cape.#i only wanted to try it bc i thought itd be a fun allusion to the arm she hasnt lost yet :)#but in reality fionna/ finn are no-armor fighters lol. not bc they cant. but bc theyre some wild kids.#29yo finn fights with his bare chest exposed ffs
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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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I have got to tell you guys some great news. My ebay offer for a Titian Twist-N-Turn Stacey was accepted
#i know i was just talking about the porcelain dolls from the 90s and how i wanna get them but#a titian stacey has been on my to-buy list for months#ive looked at a lot of them on ebay and mulled over the decision for a long time#since getting my titian living action barbie in like october was it?#im like. she needs an era-appropriate friend already#my titian no. 5 barbie and midge have been a bonded pair for awhile now#mod barbie needs a mod friend#they all have red hair bc i have an identity to maintain goddammit#tales from diana#in all seriousness keeping a theme for my modest vintage barbie collection is what keeps me from going overboard#i BARELY can FORCE the room for the dollies that i do have on display in my mess of a room#i think four is a fine collection for now#when im a real grownup that's when i can branch out#like id love to have a francie and a pj someday but those never came w red hair#so it's easy to say nope! for now#id also love some christies or julias ofc and maybe i could make an excuse of getting an oxidized one lol#and be like 'theyre redheads too!!!'#but the secondhand doll market is so so weird about black dolls especially old ones#so they'll likely be out of my price range forever unless i get a rich husband#any rich men following me who secretly pine for me and my eccentric hobbies?
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having a lot of thoughts about aromanticism and how that interacts with my idea of friendship vs romance
#the line between the two is so thin that it barely exists for me#i am (for lack of a better term) 'in love' with all of my friends#the traditional idea of dating is generally uncomfortable for me for reasons i cant coherently explain#but the feeling i get around my friends is similar to that of what i assume people get when theyre around their partner or crush#and i feel that way without the drive to pursue a 'deeper relationship' with them#because why would i? i already have that. we're already friends#it gets a little complicated once you introduce sex into the mix because i am by no means asexual#but to keep it concise - the answer would probably be yes lmao#talk#aromanticism#aromantic#thoughts after posting: i wonder if i would call this hyper-romanticism as opposed to aromanticism?#idk if that term already has a meaning im just talking out of my ass here lol#but there IS a difference between the platonic relationships i have with my friends vs my family#with my friendships being considerably more romantic than my familial relationships (at risk of stating the obvious lol)#so i feel strange using the term platonic to describe both since there are completely different feelings associated with both of them#so idk. maybe that means i Do have feelings of romance#but id still consider it aromantic bc its outside of the traditional definition of romance.#because as stated before: all of my friends are my 'partners' in some way#maybe thats weird to say though lol
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