#but esp so when a lot of acts BARELY come to other places and people can barely get those tickets

[briankang]

the way some people talk online is so deeply out of touch in regards to concerts its astounding

[sunsetsover]

i saw something that had me thinking about the different relationships fadel and kant both have with their baby brothers and i genuinely can't stop thinking about it. especially when you look at how similar their experiences really are. like they're not just big brothers, but they're care givers too. guardians. obviously we don't know anything about anyone's upbringing rn, but given the little we know about lilly i doubt she was a hands on mother figure to those boys. i'm willing to bet they were housed and fed, but other than that they were just kind of left to fend for themselves, and it's likely that fadel, seeing bison - who is younger than him, smaller than him, more overtly emotional and in an environment that was so volatile and likely violent- immediately took responsibility of him and his well being. there's no doubt he took care of bison - he's bison's big brother. bison obviously loves and respects him. but one of the first things we learn about their relationship is that fadel also took on the role of a pseudo-parent when the role of actual parent was absent - are you my brother or my father, fadel?

it's an honourable thing to do, something that comes from a place of love and care. but in the process fadel has sacrificed having a brotherly relationship with bison. i mean jesus christ, bison doesn't even know what fadel's likes and hobbies are. he literally locks his bedroom door when he's not inside. and i've seen multiple blaming bison for that, like he doesn't even care about fadel and who he is deep down, but at the end of the day how is bison supposed to know what fadel doesn't tell him? bison is so open and honest with fadel - he tells him what he wants to do, who he wants to be, how he wants to live. as far as he's concerned there are no secrets between them. he's open about his budding relationship with kant and the fact that he doesn't want to have to lie to him. i'm sure he thinks, maybe naively, that fadel would just offer him the same kind of openness if he wanted to, but that he just doesn't want to. bison clearly doesn't like the fact that fadel is so cold and clinical, esp with him. i bet he doesn't even really understand why fadel is the way he is. but that was the point. that openness and that hope is something i bet fadel has worked so fucking hard to keep alive in bison even to his own detriment. but at the same time he's closed himself off so tightly from bison - the only person he seems to have in his life rn - that bison barely knows who he is. like how the fuck is bison supposed to know that fadel has a heart when bison is never allowed to see it?

like you know how for a lot of people there comes a point as you get older where you stop seeing your parents as parents and start seeing them as people with with wants and desires and lives outside of being a Parent? well bison hasn't reached that point yet. he still sees fadel as Big Brother, who doesn't let him go out or have friends or date people. who walks in when he's in the middle of hooking up with a guy and doesn't even have decency to turn away and let them make themselves decent. who makes bison do chores in order to be allowed out, like he's a teenager and not a grown man in his 20s. like tbh can you blame bison for being a little harsh on fadel sometimes, really? fadel treats him like a child. and so bison acts like one. that's their dynamic: like father and son, not brothers. and that means there are walls between them that are in many ways one sided. a son should be able to tell a father anything, but a father will always have parts of himself hidden away from his son.

compare that to kant and babe's relationship. we don't know exactly when kant and babe's parents passed and how long kant has been acting as babe's guardian, but i'm willing to bet it hasn't been very long. why? because kant still treats babe as his brother first, guardian second. kant obviously still takes the role of babe's guardian seriously - he is literally putting his life on the line in order not only to keep babe safe, but to make sure he has a good life. i'm sure the car thieving had something to with babe as well. in that way he's very much like fadel. but at the same time he hasn't put the walls up between himself and his brother that fadel has. even from the little we've seen of their relationship they feel like brothers - they bicker and they tease and they both laugh about it. fadel and bison bicker and it often feels like a parent chastising a child. kant expresses concern and sets some boundaries - don't be home too late - but he's not on babe's ass the way fadel is on bison's. there are open lines of communication between babe and kant - babe tells kant about his books and his desire to see a shakespeare play in the uk, kant seeks babe's advice when he's not sure how to move his relationship with bison along. and sure kant still holds things back and there is a little bit of distance there because he is still babe's guardian and babe's still a kid. but even with all that, the walls that exist between fadel and bison just don't really exist babe and kant.

of course there's nuance to all of this. bison and fadel's upbringing and lifestyle necessitates a caution that kant and babe's just doesn't. fadel has likely been acting as guardian for longer than kant has, and so has grown into - and probably grown up with - the role in ways kant hasn't. fadel very well may have been looking after bison since he was a child, even as a child himself, and that of course requires something different and changes the dynamics of a relationship in ways that taking in your teenage brother as a 20-something year old man just doesn't. babe seems pretty well behaved, where bison is a bit of a loose canon and trusts a little too easily and their mother is fucking scary - to a certain degree bison probably needs a leash on him, and fadel needs to keep him safe. but at the same time, how is bison to realise all of that when fadel has clearly gone above and beyond to shield bison from harm and from the realities of their lifestyle and maybe even who their mother is and what she's capable of? again, bison can't know what no one tells him.

and the thing is i think bison knows he's being kept in the dark and held at arms length, even if it's just subconscious. fadel locks him out. he's cold and harsh and we the audience know (or can assume) why, but bison doesn't. all he knows is that his brother has him practically under house arrest and doesn't trust him in his bedroom and is trying to ruin his new relationship. as i've said before, it's probably why he's so desperate for the affection and attention kant's giving him - where else is he getting it? and then it goes back to control: fadel has so much, bison has none. of course he's going to fight for whatever little scrap of it he can get, even if he has to behave brattish in the process.

this just turned into me rambling about fadel and bison's relationship at some point but i just think it's interesting how similar kant and fadel are in their motives - to protect their baby brothers - and yet how different their behavior and therefore their relationships with their brothers are in contrast.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypastas of your choice with a mysterious reader that has been with slender man the longest/was the first creepypasta

eyeless jack, laughing jack, slenderman, and jeff x reader who was the first creepypasta/has been with slenderman the longest!

NOTE that jeffs part is written as platonic since im still not comfortable writing romance for him, but the other two can be seen as either or! eyeless jack was chosen thanks to the admin personally hcing that eyeless jack and slenderman have beef over living in the same woods, laughing jack was picked because haha funny clown who is also old as shit reader is implied to be nonhuman, to explain how theyve been around for so long so! admin headcannons that zalgo was the one who made all the non-human creepypastas and they may or may not come into play here that aside, hope you enjoy!

EYELESS JACK:

now he doesnt want to control who you hang out and who you dont hang out with... however ej isnt all the keen on the fact that you sometimes hang out with the tall lanky forest demon.. but he holds his tongue. their basic beef is that they mostly fight over space; slenderman is possessive over his woods, and ej fled to the woods after he started eating flesh to live as a hermit... is a little suspicious on how you seem to know so much about the curse-thing that turned from from a human to a man eating monster.. though lets up if you open up about things (cough cough zalgos role in everything cough cough) soooo.... as for actual relationship stuff? honestly as long as you dont bring slenderman around you guys have a pretty solid relationship! especially since you know so much of whats going on you kind of fill him in on a bunch of stuff.. like how people fill in the new guy at work about the drama and lore of the workplace, you know? is a relieved that youre not exactly human, so a lot of his worry of accidentally attacking you while in one of his feral blood frenzy things is minimal... sits.. tension in the beginning that melts as time passes and explanations are given, you know?

LAUGHING JACK:

honestly hes just happy to have someone whos not super young compared to him/was there to see what was going on at least a century ago.. or more (fandom wiki says origin story takes place in 1800s, jack is OOOOOOOLLLD) so its nice having someone he can talk to about stuff from the past. and to joke about stuff from the past... and to have someone actually. GET IT. you know? really strengthens your bond, as well as reassures him that youre likely not going to die anytime soon due to your mortality... i always think about that stuff for immortal characters/characters who can technically outlive everyone, especially for jack since i feel he has abandonment issues... shrugs... you guys probably exchange tips and tricks for loads of things. just two old people in love but they both act like reckless young adults (assuming reader matches his energy). has no huge thoughts or opinions on slenderman since i dont think they would interact often :0

SLENDERMAN:

i mean i think it would be a given that you guys, against all odds, have stuck together and grown close. slenderman is reclusive, very much so. i mention that eyeless jack is a hermit, so naturally ej doesnt connect with many people. but slenderman takes that to a whole new level. i mean he barely even interacts with his proxies (still dont know how im going to write toby, masky, and hoodie. esp masky n hoodie since... theres the creepypasta/marble hornets thing.. shrugs... thats a problem for future admin)

so consider this a huge victory that he hasnt gotten rid of you in some way and has instead let you into his.. well i was about to say heart but i dont think zalgo considered giving him one when it was creating him.. though.. it is nice to have someone just as ancient as him, makes it easier to relate to people AND youre also a creature like him, made from zalgo? even more ability to relate to you.. though its a very quiet dynamic, slenderman isnt much of a talker so i hope you dont mind carrying conversations!

JEFF THE KILLER:

pushing once again that this segment is strictly platonic since admin isnt comfy with writing romantic for jeff so they just had an interesting idea for him!

very similar to eyeless jacks bit where you fill him in one a bunch of lore and how things work, as well as filling him in on the teeny tiny detail that demons and monsters exist. jeff is a little different in admins au/hc, since he kind of just. exists rather than being created explicitly to cause issues + hes new to the being a creepypasta thing (if you can call being on the run and being off the grid for the past decade or so new, admin is working on timeline stuff </3) (new in comparison to the other characters hush hush) so a lot of your dynamic is filling him in on things as well as perhaps even offering some sort of guidance in how to actually go about interacting with these creatures that he know.. just has access to.. torn between dad slenderman because hes not TOTALLY evil and cold in admins interpretation, but also that one jeff the killer vs slenderman fall out boy video lives rent free in his head. the beef would be insane, honestly... jeff doesnt have much of a sound idea outside of you being more of a guidance figure for him... person with their nonhuman guide my favorite trope that needs to be in more stuff especially in horror media where the characters are antagonists and shit

[dem0nguy]

MEOWWWW!!!! PLEASEE!!! ON MY KNEES… tell me about your ocs mootie… or send me some refs please plea please alsjslsbsmsknsn. Esp bonesss… please plea se. (Is so normal right now)

Send it to me Rachel,,, send it to me pleaseeee /ref

JSHFHSJDJFJJS OFC MOOTIE‼️‼️

Okokok so first I wanna give some background, bc I’ve had these babies for ~5 years and I recently overhauled their designs/lore and now im obsessed.

They used to be my old gacha ocs (back in the good ol days 😔) but they had a very uh… fucked up story, to say the least. (Rider used to be some sort of mary sue 0-0) The story was so all over the place that I’m not sure I can properly explain it. But that’s exactly why I rewrote it :3

So the story revolves around two main characters, Rider and Cody.

Rider is a (secret) agent at the Bureau of Magical Containment and Research, aka the BMCR. He’s technically not supposed to be working there. Because yk, child labor laws. But the BMCR has a tendency to skirt around laws and get away with it.

Rider was only able to join the BMCR because of Bones, who became his guardian after both his parents died. (Ik thats the most typical tragic oc lore, but like, bare with me ;-;)

He was indoctrinated into the BMCR when he was 10, and because of Bones’ assistance, he earned the codename, “Free-Rider.” (Most people just call him Rider, but other BMCR operatives he isn’t personally connected to use his full codename)

He has a real name, but he doesn’t use it anymore. It reminds him too much of his parents and how much he misses them. He goes by the alias “Rider Youngson,” and picked “Rider” as his first name as a reference to his codename. To him, it symbolizes a new era in his life.

Rider wears a mask to hide the tattoo on his cheek. (There’s a lot of lore behind tattoos/markings but it would take forever to explain, so long story short, it’s related to class and is typically changed based on occupation.) Kids under 18 aren’t supposed to have full time jobs, and especially aren’t supposed to work at a highly sensitive government organization. So yk, he’s gotta hide it.

(Sometimes he uses makeup, but he’s lazy 90% of the time and just throws on a mask. (It’s also pretty normal for people to wear masks, bc he lives in a big city and disease is RAMPANT))

His current goal is to graduate high school, and then go to legally work at the BMCR full time. But that kinda changes once he meets Cody >:3

He actually has a mission called “Operation Deadpride” and for as cool as it sounds, it’s really simple. All he’s supposed to do is be on the lookout for magical anomalies, report them to the BMCR, then go with a team to capture it.

He has a cool ass motorcycle, bc silly :3

Also his favorite artist would be Rhianna (he would also listen to Katy Perry, Kesha, Chase Atlantic, and The Chainsmokers (I have a whole playlist for this guy and it’s all I listen to now…))

Okay now Bones. Bones’ full codename is “Bone-Crusher,” because he’s trained in a fighting style that allows him to easily break the opponent’s bones. (No one knows where tf he learned it, and he refuses to teach it to anyone except Rider)

(Unrelated but he uses he/him pronouns and he’s aroace :] )

He was good friends with Rider’s parents, which is why he volunteered to take Rider in. He trains Rider incredibly hard, both mentally and physically. He says it’s to “catch him up” and “get him on everyone else’s level” But Rider thinks he just likes making him suffer.

Bones welds an electrically charged halberd. It kind of acts like a taser, but he can adjust the intensity to instantly kill someone/something. (He doesn’t like doing that though, and refrains from it.)

He’s a very secretive guy, and only has one or two other friends. To most, he comes off as a hard-headed workaholic. He’s been loyal to the BMCR long before he joined it, or, has he..? >:3

Finally, I’ll go over Cody (this is getting too long 0-0)

Cody is the second main character, and he’s relatively normal. He’s got a younger stepbrother, a dad and a stepdad, and a happy little life :3

One problem, she’s got magic in a world that fears magic.

Cody has the ability to create portals, really strong ones too. But she’s got to be really careful when using her powers or else the BMCR will find her and kill her.

Their biological mom died during childbirth, so they never got to meet her. (Casey’s mom left to get the milk, so they never met her either lol)

Cody’s very strong academically, and is working to get into a good college to get a degree in biology or something else science related. (She’s not entirely sure yet.) He gets straight A’s, takes too many AP classes for his own good, and is beloved by all the teachers.

Then he meets Rider.

They share science class together, and get partnered up for a project. After that, they become “hey I don’t hate you as much as everyone else how about we bullshit these assignments together” acquaintances

Rider is relatively popular in comparison to Cody. People like talking to him, and invite him to parties (that he never goes to.) Cody is more of a recluse, she has a few friends here and there, but spends most of her time focusing on schoolwork.

She dyes her hair black, their natural hair color is a dark red :3

Eventually, Cody accidentally reveals their powers to Rider. So Rider makes it his new mission to capture Cody and turn them in to the BMCR.

Rider doesn’t actually tell the other agents about Cody, because he wants to handle something by himself for once. And when he finally gets around to telling them, they don’t believe him.

Bones thinks he just has a crush on Cody and he’s just making up excuses to hang out with him. (He’s not wrong tbh)

There’s SO much more, but I don’t wanna make you read an essay pookie. I hope you enjoy this little blurb tho :D

[geenalovesthelittlethings]

I think I’m officially over guys, esp 25 year olds who act like little boys!!!!!! He literally told me “beggars can’t be choosers. And quality time is important and a date out in public isn’t that” when I wouldn’t come to his house to “chill” with him. I literally told him I wasn’t comfortable doing that, I barely know you and we should go out to dinner or get ice cream or any place that is PUBLIC. Then he sent me that. I’m just over it all these guys seem to not care about my comfort and push me to do things, stay out later than I want or go places I don’t want to go. I get his needs need to be met but i need to see you in person and see how you are for a little bit before I go to you’re house 🥲🙃 I guess I’m too old fashioned for some of these dudes and I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m the issue and I need to lighten up.

This makes me roll my eyes so hard I stg. He sounds like someone who has never been told 'no' or that he's wrong in his whole life. Honestly, don't waste your time with men who cannot get over themselves and do not have the critical thinking skills to understand why women feel they way they do around men, especially those they don't know well. That's not 'not getting his needs met' that is basic decency and respect for a person's comfort and boundaries. To me, when you're first dating someone, you're not really focusing on quote/unquote 'quality time' per se. You're just having fun and getting to know each other so you can feel out if this is even someone you click with and it's usually much less stressful or overwhelming and just safer if you go and do something together in a public setting. Which, if he can't understand that, he has a lot of growing up to do. 'Quality time' comes later when you're more established with a person. Tbh he sounds like he really doesn't want or care about a relationship he just cares about convenience and putting in the least effort possible while still reaping the benefits and you deserve more than that, baby! So no, you absolutely do not need to 'lighten up' and you are not an issue AT ALL. Keep your boundaries and standards where you want and need them and don't let people make you feel like you need to do anything different.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

eeeee no this is great this is exciting lol. i love to spread the greg love around esp bc. well. hes got a lot of haters which is fine ppl are entitled to dislike whoever. but i like to see positive stuff about my favs now and again >_>

Yeah tbh he gives me very wayward, constantly uprooted, never having the chance to really settle except perhaps at his Grandpa's over some summers but he never got to know the people around there either, because Ewan always wanted him to do whatever activities Ewan laid out for him, some of which he liked like being with animals, others he was less a fan of, vibes.

And yeah! i just think it would be kinda funny for him to be like, he's American when it's most convenient but he mostly aligns himself with Canada to sort of distance himself, always shifting and molding himself to whatever will get him the best deal or out of a tight spot.

Okay, questions: I think Greg would be very quiet and awkward in school, sitting to the side of the room. I actually sort of think he would be a bit of a teacher's pet, he seems like a suck-up and that his mother would always encourage him to make a good impression but also challenge grades (this carries over to university). He's still got very middling grades even tho teachers like him. I feel like in canon he mimics the poetic and verbose way Ewan speaks, so to some adults he comes across as an "old soul" or mature and always has gotten along with older people.

Honestly the American college/university reputation thing scares the shit out of me. I wrote a whole college au for Tomgreg and I was not brave enough to put them in a specific state/college because I didn't want to have to act like I knew the culture around that place, if it would be a good or bad job for Tom or any of that.... That being said, people do still have pride around their alumni and certain universities do have reputations, especially program specific ones like "This place is the BEST for medicine ugh you could only get in There instead?" but i don't think it's as intense as the US. I think mostly Greg just wanted to go to a place where he could live on his own for a while, so not in the city his mother lived in XD

ummm. for his first job I've become very attached to the idea he worked at an Ice Cream shack which was typicalish for *my* coastal upbringing, again thats just bc i wrote a fic about it tho lol. Quite a few people have early summer jobs at local organizations bc the government subsidizes summer term student jobs, like, working for the people putting on the yearly town festival, or for the city cultural department putting on events for kids.

I also headcanon he went to Explore, which is a French language intensive immersion program. i also went to this and i still can barely speak French so to me it's not unrealistic that he'd have gone at least once, and still be only okay at French. It's for university students. It would have been SO funny to see him try to speak French to Marcia and she just switches back to English continuously which sometimes Francophone people will do to you In Canada x_x i believe it could have happened.

Okay, um we did have Marianas Trench which was part of MY FOB/PATD/MTrench emo/pop punk trifecta personally. I feel like Greg would have a very wide and varied music taste. Where i'm from country music is soo popular lmfao so I think he likes that but i don't like it, so I can't tell you what.

OH My god somehow I have never actually considered Tom and Greg at a hockey game but that would be.... so amazing. i bet they would actually be very competitive it could get ugly. oh GOD now, i don't know if Greg is a Habs or Leafs fan. I was saying he's Ontarian, which would be more Leafs, but he might have an allegiance to Quebec anyway because of his Grandfather........... god. Especially if Ewan cared at all about Hockey which god idk. If he did, Greg might be obligated to be a Habs fan (which ew. i was born and raised Leafs smh). Maybe he supports Boston to avoid the fighting tho tbh.

Lastly. 100% i think he pulls "you're such an AMERICAN" on tom if it's ever a) funny or b) beneficial to his argument even tho again he's a dual citizen lol.

Thank you so much for being interested to hear my perspective!!! we dont get much background on greg so this is all conjecture with a HIGH dose of projection from me. but i love to talk about it and share my opinions anyway~!

Hello hi 👋 if you are willing to indulge me I would love to hear any and all of your Canadian Greg thoughts!!

I am also a Canadian Greg truther but I live in America so I can’t imagine the full extent of what it means for him to be a Canadian boy™

Ooooohhhh hell yeah I love to share the Good Word about Canadian Greg at least from my thoughts

while I tend to tweak his background based on the specific fic I am writing here in there, I really truly believe Greg has moved around a lot in his life. I like to think in fact he's got American citizenship/was probably born there but after his dad (presumably) left after he (presumably) cheated on Greg's mother, they moved back to Canada so Marianne could be closer to Ewan (for better or for worse considering Ewan is....... kinda a dick imo) and now he's a dual-citizen, always an interloper, never quite Canadian enough but not quite settled into American culture.

Partially due to my own experience I think he grew up mostly in Ontario, he doesn't come across as, like, Quebecois to me tho neither do Ewan or Logan despite canonically being raised there so uh you know, and I only ever spent 5 weeks in Quebec myself. but, French Canadian peoples tend to be connected to their Francophone identities in my experience with Acadians and other Francophones in other areas of Ontario, so yeah i mean idk. It's not impossible but he feels more Ontarian, I could see some Western hcs but I've never been further West so like........... i stick him in Ontario bc it's what I know better.

On that, I think he speaks passable but not excellent French with an Okay accent, he likes and knows hockey, has a variety of Canadian slang he doesn't pull out around his US folks. He likes colour-coded Canadian money because it's easier, dammit.

I also like to imagine him spending a bit of time in small town Atlantic Canada, that is the epitome of self-indulgence for Me because that's where my own actual experience mostly lies. He has some random factoids about fishing. I like to imagine he did Little Rocks which is a curling program for kids, he was almost definitely a Scout (he might have moved to Canada young enough to be a Beaver Scout🥺) and he knows, how to safely start a fire and camping basics (i think he prefers to stay in a cabin to a tent tho lmfao), and I believe he genuinely likes some outdoorsy activities, such as hiking, but also wants to be able to retreat to a comfortable area and not be left out in the rain or anything like that.

I think he was raised Catholic which could be anywhere lmao and knows how to hunt but doesn't love it (which I think it was said he did in the scripts in Hunting, as well as Tom, but I can't recall?). I think he made friends that always felt temporary, he was often the new kid and always the weird gawky guy, but he got along with some people even if he was sometimes the butt of the joke too. He did stupid shit like putting hairspray on his hands and letting other guys light it on fire, partially to fit in and partially because "What's the worst that could happen". Not necessarily exclusive to Canada but I knew these guys irl. So.

One of the things I've noticed that is a big difference between Canadians and US Americans is we don't mythologize or adore our founders the way they do. Unsure impact that has on Greg, but part of me likes to do a little excusing for him, that he rationalizes meddling with American politics and the landscape of the News using the idea that it's not his "Real home", even though he knows damn well the US impacts Canada in a huge way. It's another one of his many excuses, like, "it's not my fault, i'll get in trouble if I don't, i need a job to survive and this one is as good as any" etc.

Finally. Another one of my Greg headcanons despite having 0 evidence canonically and in fact evidence against it to an extent- he likes a good graphic tee. Most of them are stored at his mother's. Most importantly, he owns this:

which i photographed in a real Canadian walmart.

[roobylavender]

Definitely don’t have to answer this BUT If you wish...

What’s one thing you think people get so wrong about Dick Grayson and his relationship to Bruce? What is your interpretation of him? Should Dick work away from the Batfamily or it is it where he needs to be?

ok. continued saga of me saying i will be brief and being a blatant liar instead

if you migrated over here from my old account you'll know i'm not really in camp with most fans when it comes to their relationship. as i mentioned in the jason ask i pretty much stopped contending with canon the moment bruce condescended to stephanie about her having no skills or talent bc it felt like i was reading about an alien, and i had already begun to have reservations about bruce's characterization in works prior to that, particularly where writers like wolfman were involved. my general opinion when it comes to wolfman is that he will character assassinate or downplay whomever he wishes so long as it can benefit dick as a character. it's the primary reason i can barely stand to read his titans runs, even though they're what i look to primarily in terms of characterizing dick. reading his renditions of bruce hitting dick in that one new titans issue and then year three is just.. so awful and bizarre and i know a lot of people run with it but my question is why.. so many people will say they hate bruce on the grounds that he's physically abusive and that they miss when he was a better parent and it's like i miss that too but that's why my brain is forever entrenched in 70s/80s batman for the most part. like no one is holding my head underwater mandating that i continue to operate under the premise that all existing canon is gospel so i am not really sure why so many dick stans act this way esp when it's not like much of dick's modern canon is actually good

but to actually get into why i'm not a fan of those depictions nor of how their relationship with each other has come to be perceived, i think it's bc a lot of it feels counterintuitive in terms of how they began. what's fundamental to bruce's relationships with his adopted children in general is that he reaches out to them on account of compassion and empathy. he sees how isolated they are, he recognizes it in who he was when his parents died, and he takes them in bc anything is better than living with that loneliness and brooding in it and letting it consume you. he knows that intimately. we all make fun of yjtv and rightfully so, but i think it got bruce's aims with his children right on the nose. he allows them to use robin and their place in his home and their relationships with him and alfred as a conduit through which to channel their trauma. the job and the manor and the parental relationships are sort of like spring boards. they have something to bounce their emotions and behaviors off of rather than reacting into an empty void or simply going through the motions the way bruce did for nearly half of his life in the wake of his parents' death. they have purpose and connection. bruce would give them everything of himself that he has to give if it would guarantee their happiness and prosperity. they are the truest representations of his love for and belief in humanity and by way of that they should be the most important relationships he has with anyone, period

and with dick in particular i think it's special bc he's been bruce's partner for longer than anyone. there's an incredibly deep bond and dependency there and when dick leaves to go to college in the 70s you can tell it tears at bruce's heart a little bc he's learned to live with knowing dick will always be around and that they will always operate together in some capacity. but he's also respectful of the space that dick needs and i love the way a few writers explore how bruce can sometimes get in the way of dick's space and independence out of a sense of love and caring but when dick calls him out on it he steps back and acknowledges that dick is growing into a man capable of making his own decisions (mike w. barr is wonderful with this). there's a clear struggle within bruce to let go but at the same time he doesn't hold it against dick regardless of his own sadness about them potentially growing apart from one another. i think knightfall also explores this concept fabulously, bc we get that miscommunication between them where bruce doesn't call dick to replace him on the grounds that he doesn't want to disturb dick or hold him back, only for dick to feel upset by the idea that he wouldn't be bruce's first pick bc in his heart he knows he would do anything for bruce so long as bruce asked. they're constantly caught up in this complicated entanglement of love and respect and i think that's why it's so easy to blur the lines of their relationship between being a parental one or a brotherly one. on one hand bruce would do everything in his power to protect and care for dick but on the other he understands how impt it is to dick to be seen by him as an equal. so that's very interesting to me

only, what you get as canon progresses, esp from the late 80s onward, is this depiction of bruce that is oddly vindictive and spiteful towards dick for leaving (maybe the few exceptions to depictions like this are from writers like grant, moench, and dixon). there's that one post-crisis issue where dick discovers there's a new robin and when he goes to visit bruce to question him about it the narration from bruce is incredibly sour. like he feels threatened by dick's presence and doesn't want him to come in and dictate his decisions bc he is clearly the person in power. that issue is from starlin. we've already rehashed the basic summary of the follow-up issues by wolfman above. some people will say bruce's actions (even if they hate them) make sense in light of his grief whether it's got to do with dick leaving in context of the starlin issue or jason dying in context of the wolfman issues. but what doesn't make sense is that the issue starlin wrote recreated an earlier issue written by collins, infamously used to reintroduce jason and to restructure the way dick became nightwing. i know a lot of people hate that issue. i agree it takes away dick's agency in terms of him choosing to retire robin. but there's at the least a sentiment of compassion and parental fear to that issue that starlin failed to recreate in his own rendition. bruce nearly sees dick fall to his death and makes a decision (admittedly premature) out of fear for the life of his eighteen year old child. dick might not get it in that moment and it's true there were probably better ways to explore it but personally i don't think bruce is wrong there to have apprehensions. and he's clearly fine with dick eventually figuring out an identity on his own as a man, which he now respects dick to become. he's simply afraid to be the one to directly put dick in danger by asking him to continue being his partner, so he asks dick to let go. it's hardly perfect, but i think it's understandable and nonetheless emblematic of an undercurrent of compassion that starlin clearly fails to tap into when writing his own rendition of their relationship (which is odd bc there's a lot of compassion packed into his rendition of bruce's relationship with jason)

i truly have no idea why bruce would ever be vindictive of dick, let alone of any of his children. the steady undercurrent of bruce's character to me is that he is overly self-critical. he grows attached to people but he chastises himself for the danger he puts them in and for that attachment he develops bc he knows he cannot hold onto everyone forever. he would sooner let people walk away from him and hate him than try to hold them back for something that he believes is his own fault. i think it's realistic for people to be angry with bruce bc he doesn't stand up for himself and bc he can be prone to giving up in his relationships on account of how deeply he internalizes blame. he retreats into his own mind and sinks into his emotions and is prepared to take upon all burdens bc he believes that is his lot in life. that's how his whole crusade started. and obv, for a character like dick, who wants to be seen as a partner and as an equal, that's incredibly frustrating. it creates the perfect foundation for a long-term emotional conflict between them. but i don't think vindictiveness or condescension are necessary emotions to factor into that portrayal, and i don't understand why writers would want them to be, bc they indicate a fundamental misunderstanding of why bruce adopted dick and everyone else to begin with. he doesn't want to keep any of his children as prisoners to gotham forever. the irony is in the fact that the robins have all chosen to commit themselves to this crusade and that they would die fighting alongside bruce bc they love and respect him that much even if he does not always believe he is deserving of that love and respect. if you make bruce vindictive of them, how does that factor into who he is set up to be as a character, in terms of selflessness being his fatal flaw? the struggle has to be about the rift in communication between them, and how his children beg to be recognized and treated as equals despite the fact that bruce letting them go and taking all burdens upon himself is his deepest expression of love. which, to clarify, is obv deeply fucked up and needs to be properly addressed! but the crux to all of it is unequivocally love and i wish more writers remembered that

EDIT: i realized i forgot to even answer the last portion of this ask but since this is already so long: no, i don’t think dick should work within gotham personally. he’s very clearly meant for more than gotham and i think knightfall was the last arc that truly understood that about the relationship between him and bruce. imo he should be the guy who either leads teams or if you absolutely must have him go solo then have him travel the world with the circus while doing hero work on the side. i don’t think he’s the kind of character really meant to have a permanent home in terms of physical location but rather in terms of the people he surrounds himself with. his calling is being entrenched in the supers community at large and acting as a sort of binding agent to help unite people from all walks of life towards a common struggle and ideal and the idea of restricting him either to gotham or to bludhaven is like. useless to me 

[kanmom51]

I wonder: if I showed this simple (and definitely incomplete) list of things Jikook did with each other to some outsider... would they think they are a couple or not?

(-> YES. YES THEY WOULD. The fact that people have the gut to discredit them because they are same sex members of a boy group blows my mind! The overly pushed heteronormative is especially disgusting :/)

JM is JK 's emergency contact

JK has JM initials tattoed on his ring finger

they know e/o's family very well JK's mom loves JM JK references JM's father multiple times JK's brother seem to like JM a lot

JM gave JK a '(love)bite' on his neck

JK nibbled on JM's ear on a stage in front of 66k people after saying 'I love you'

JK called JM baby

JK called JM dangshin

JM called JK puppy prince

JK drops honorifics with JM

you are me I am you

they where together on free days/national holidays

they are often seen arriving and leaving together in the same car

JK said JM is the perfect person to marry

JK always gives JM his full attention when JM is talking

JK said JM is the member who gave him the most confort

they went to see the first snow together

they wore matching outfits on valentine's day

they went on a private holiday together (JK's present to JM for his birthday)

JK recorded their holiday together and published the video as his last present to JM (said video has romantic undertones and lyrics)

JK has preferential treatment for JM - pancake - never getting angry and letting JM get away with anything - scolding the other members when they talk over JM

they have special voices/tones for e/o

they share or match clothes jeans shirts green jackets vampire t-shirt olive brewery sweater grey t-shirt pants/shirt by LV check collection olive green and balck plaid jacket purple shirt and purple marni sweater shoes on several occasions

they went on a date to disneyland

they went on a date bowling

they went on a date ice skating

they touch in sus places neck (both) inner thighs (both) waist (JK to JM) chest (JM to JK) hair/face/lips (both) ass (both)

they hold hands for no reason

they back-hug for no reason

they side-hug for no reason

they hug for no reason

they sit on top of e/o

JK gravitates towards JM

JK stares at JM a lot esp his lips

they cuddle

JM said he would go to the moon with JK

JM said he would feel safe with JK even on a deserted island

JM said JK is a reliable banreyo

JK said everything about JM is cute

JK said JM is the cutest

JK said JM with makeup is sexy

JK said 'if it's sexy, it's JM hyung'

JM said he loves waking up and seeing JK

JK portraied his and JM morning routine in the music video for LGO bc he wanted realism

JM said the part of his heart that thinks about JK is quite big

JK woke up early on a 'retreat' in New Zeland to collect snow and gift it to JM

JK said JM's existence is honey for him

they have been seen going shopping together

they have been seen working out together

they have given e/o plenty of compliments (even on their phisical appearence)

the thing JK is most sorry for is an argument with JM when they were younger

jin repeatedly teased them for their couply behavior

they flirt on stage magic shop

they naturally pair up for group pictures

they wait for e/o to head home

they give e/o advice on dancing, performance and singing

they are together at weird hours at night (night buddies coff coff)

V called them out several time for being together alone instead of with him (vlives)

they said they better not do vlives together bc they distract e/o

the members refers to them as a unit

staff has said they never see them separated

they have questionable selcas together (of buised lips and shared beds)

JK said JM is shameless

they flirt a lot during downtime

JM seems to like being picked up/carried around by JK

JM said JK is his happy virus

JK said he makes JM happy. JM didn't deny

rabbit spit

JM saying JK likes being tied up

allusive pick up lines everywhere my heart is burning why are you acting cute detective play with me arrest me do you think you can always be forgiven bc you are cute it's not our first time I want you why do you always come to my room give me a kiss why am I so erotic? I am going to be your future boyfriend are you happy bc of me? Don't you hear my heartbeat? I purple u do you like me that much? This is my toy JK's holy sweat You gotta spank him although he's older

questionable subtitles provided for context star, wind and romance mood and they lived happily ever after JK is happy with JM kate minslet and leonardo jungcaprio JM is JK's favourite model the director is getting into it JM and JK are one the maknae is happy thanks to JM hearts, cute comments and music from the editing team over their interactions

the sun and moon duo

golden closet film

big romantic gestures for e/o JM getting back to korea from Paris for JK's birthday JK singing romantic songs to JM

korea's open secret

being seen together taking a covid swab

JM always stays afterhours to reharse with JK

they are e/o biggest fanboys

JK is protective of JM (airport)

jimmeo and kookliet

JM got annoyed Jin called him while he was spending time with JK

they went on a boat date to see the red moon

they went to see malta together

JK is often potographing or filming JM

they have moments together that are proper misteries and so weird the mosquito net incident the whole osaka vlives fiasco the various 'home' references laguna beach the kiss sound video while JK reharses weird tweets/hashtags what do you want for your birthday, do you have a desire? Ambiguous use of the world ARMY what is tasty in Busan JM's manager the tissue incident the incriminated-selfie gate

they seem to know everything about e/o

they mention e/o a lot

their last two solo songs are love songs (finding love in unexpected places and the joy coming from happy love)

j-hope mixes them up a lot

JM has plenty of cute pet names for JK

JM said 'it could appear as if JK is simply somebody close to him who is younger (but...)'

JM is always with JK when he is phisically or emotionally hurt

JK often massages JM for his chronic pain

JM often massages/caresses JK bc yes

JK imitated JM's dangerous dieting in order to make him realize how bad it was

they have private (questionable) videos dancing together/practicing alone

JK took over a call JM did to Jin on vlive to say 'I love you'

JK said 'I love you JM' in the mic after a concert

JK said 'I love you' to JM on the red carpet in sign language

They both said they get hyped when they make eye contact on stage

JK gave JM the cutie award

JK stays close to JM when JM falls asleep in public places

they blew kisses to e/o

they got lost staring at e/o and forgot what they where doing JM on the red carpet both of them at awards

they paired accessories

they paired hair colors

they have a lot of admiration for e/o as people

JK lets (or makes) JM win

they get frequently lost in their own world

they reference things only the other understand

JK sometimes puts up a bit of a jealous act I do not approve of this

JM lets JK scold him

JK said to JM 'you are always number one for me'

JK said to JM 'I am always watching you'

JK has been recorded softly containing JM when he's on a perfectionist streak

they seek e/o out for comfort after performance hugging/hand holding

when one is hurt the other looks like he's suffering too JK on stage when JM broke down in the first virtual concert JM when JM got denied in a game

they defend e/o from the other members and have e/o's back

the other members separated them on several occasions when they got too touchy

personal space who?

They know things about e/o that are clearly not shared with the class brushing teeths snoring alarm ring sleeping time

black swan performance

they put e/o hands under the other's clothes to touch bare skin

JM kissed JK's neck

they feed e/o

spanking and ass-grabbing

they were caught on camera ogling e/o shamlessly

JM's weird strenght kink

JM said his camera roll is full ok JK

they have a different smile for e/o

other members said suspicious things about them together

JK only saw JM and J-hope during their official break

all the members minus JM complain about JK not answering his phone

heart eyes

drinking from the same bottle

blindly recognizing e/o's body parts just by touch or out of context photos

napping on each other (yeah, you read that right)

non-verbal communication over 9000

weird editorial cuts in backstage videos when the two of them are together

JM said 'JK falls asleep hugging me'

JM said 'JK plays hard to get but when he thinks I am sleeping he comes by and say I love you'

JM said he is the main model for GCF

JK said JM's photocard is sexy

JK sometimes hesitates in touching JM or holding him when he knows they r on camera

JK said JM is a fallen angel

JK praised JM's dancing several times

JK likes to tease JM

fixing e/o clothes

JK closes his eyes when JM touches him

JM run trough a whole stage abandoning his stage persona when he hought JK was being sick

JM puts JK's happiness first

similar mindset about important stuff in life

JM sat on JK. Uh. Different ways

JK putting his hands over JM while being hugged in order to drag JM even closer

JM ordering JK around and literally dragging him around

JK being overprotective

the members subtly panicking when JK/JM have to interact closely on camera

JM having to fight for JK's forgiveness while Jin was immediately let off the hook

Quite a list anon, lol. You put so much work into this list I couldn't not post it.

I do agree with most of your points if not all of them, but a good example of just how much there is out there to show how these two are the real deal.

[angelsaxis]

Even though I very rarely talk about them on here, I really should explain more about Richard, Valentine, and Zinnia. I think part of the reason I do less of this is because it's a contemporary adult romance setting and lots of people who follow me by now know that I do fantasy more (hence TYC).

Richard is a gay concept artist and/or character designer living in New York, Zinnia as well. They're best friends and they met through work, and Richard is the more chaotic act first/think second of the two. Always on the move, he's working two jobs because the viddy game one isn't sustaining him (he also works at best buy as a truck loader).

Richard has a roommate that's barely in the apartment and when he is he kinda ghosts around. Then he disappears one day and he doesn't come back and rent is due and then it's due again and Richard is like. Pissed off esp since the guys alive he's just not responsible. Zinnia lives with her cousin in another apartment a few blocks away.

Val at this point is houseless and living on the street. Val and Richard meet through a mutual aid app where basically someone with means (whatever that may mean for Richard) helps out someone without any means.

Several pieces fall into place. Richards roommate leaves and now he's responsible for all his rent. An hourly job as a member of geek squad opens up at best buy and Richards annoying manager is a sucker for anything military. And global warming has created harsh winter blizzards and one is coming.

What do you know Valentine's a vet who majored in compsci and knows about computers and also needs an apartment to stay in and a job.

So Richard hounds his manager to hire Valentine and he gets the job. Now he's off the street, has a roof over his head even if it's a kinda shitty NY apartment. But also he's clearly a v quiet and reserved guy (terribly shy around new people).

But as the weather warms up they get warmer w each other and then they're pretty decent friends. Val gets poached by a guy at best buy and now he's got a much better paying salaried job. He's also started to develop feelings for Richard but he still thinks he's straight.

Richard has a dog that they both do initial bonding over. Her name is Clancy. Val has nightmares that Clancy wakes him up from.

Val and Zinnia also become closer friends cause they both have the same sense of humor and zinnia is genuinely just a nice person. She's the one to convince Val to get therapy since you know, he's got health insurance now so he might as well use it.

I'll probably continue in a reblog bc I forgot u can't do readmores on mobile

[neoheros]

how would haikyuu boys handle falling in love feat. kuroo + akaashi + tsukishima !!

kuroo tetsuro

being in a relationship with him is just a pretty chill experience tbh

i feel like kuroo wouldn’t really date anyone he’s not close to on a comfortable level

people be like: omfg he looks like a player tho

he’s literally not ???? like y’all telling me this man doesn’t look like the idea of having to interact with people he doesn’t know repulses him ? bye

he’s not ignorant, he just isn’t the type to get out there unless necessary yk?

he’s got a good friend group and he’s totally satisfied with that !!!!!!

so when he was 100% sure that he saw you as somebody he’d want to be more than friends with he was just like :0

kuroo at 5:37 am, thinking of that one time you handed him a bottle of water first: oh— oh shit

he doesn’t act on it first though because y’all have been friends for so long and what if you don’t like him back ???

he didn’t wanna ruin the thing he had with you because you were literally the only one who tolerated him sending tiktoks at 4 am in the morning

kuroo: omfg have you seen this one yet

you: bro it’s almost 5 am are you on crack

but eventually he got tired of just staring at you and admiring you from afar and having to make up some excuse when you catch him cause he just really likes looking at you :(

you: bro stop staring at me

kuroo: no, your face bothers me

you: due to personal reasons i will make you pass away ❤️

so one day he just decides to shoot his shot yk?

if you reject him that’s fine, he’ll just have to send numerous tiktoks to wash away the awkwardness afterwards

like he’ll be upset about it because holy crap he flat out adores you at this point but he’s also got a sense of boundaries and will totally respect your decision

BUT !!!! when you told him you liked him too he just 🥺👉👈

this man had the goofiest grin on his face for weeks on end and his heart is all over the place because all the things he imagined in his head to do with you is finally gonna come true !!!

don’t be fooled though !! nothing will change from your friendship !!! you’re still both really chill with each other except now y’all can hug and kiss and !!!!!

kuroo: don’t i look kinda good in this picture though

you: not really, let me take a better one

kuroo: stop taking me out of frame

in retrospect, it’s really fun to be in a relationship like the one you two have because there’s not much things to disagree on and the dynamic you both have just go so well !!!

there’s also not a lot of new things to do or be uncomfortable about because y’all have already done everything as best friends !!!!!!! it’s 🥺

you, seeing kuroo staring at you: what’re you looking at me for

kuroo, unnerved: you’re so pretty

you, caught off guard: it’s my time to pass away now i see 😌

you two joke around a lot but that doesn’t mean you two take whatever you say to heart

somewhere along the line, this made kuroo a bit worried on how you took his intentions though

he knew you were cool with messing with him but sometimes he wonders if what he says ever gets to you

so one night while the two of you are eating frozen yogurt in his car, you in his hoodie and just straight up vibing to the tiktoks that played as background music

he looks up, spoon in his mouth, “you know that i love you, right?”

“you’re so cheesy,” you tell him, laughing while you scroll up to the next video on the fyp

he leans back in his seat, eyeing you under the single yellow light of the car

you, barely looking up from your phone: i love you too though

akaashi keiji

being in a relationship with akaashi is quite literally the most gratifying thing

he’s 97% of your wise decision making and you’re very much thankful for that

when he first met you he honestly didn’t know what to think

his first impression of you? an indecisive impulsive mess

his second impression of you? a very cute indecisive impulsive mess

there’s not a single doubt that he was crushing on you H A R D

he doesn’t pay attention to it though because he knew how crushes often worked and most of the time they didn’t really work out

but the more he looked at you or stared at you from afar with a silly grin that he doesn’t even realize, everyone around him notices just how silent you make him

leave it up to the fukurodani volleyball club to be the best matchmakers in the world

so one night while akaashi was chilling in bed he gets a text from bokuto telling him about an impromptu team hang out sesh

akaashi: it’s 7 pm ..?

you, in the group chat: theres never a wrong time for milk tea !!!!!

when you sent that everyone else in the chat was just so frickin ecstatic because now that you’ve confirmed you were going, it’s obvious that akaashi was now too

he arrived like 2 minutes early from the designated time and the way it wasn’t at all shocking when no one else arrived except for you

akaashi: well they totally bailed :/

you: hey at least now we have a list of people to take revenge on when the purge strikes

it’s okay though because the two of you make most of the night anyways !!

you never thought sitting outside of a 7/11 at 7 pm on a friday could be fun but as you sat there with boba tea and a ramen cup with one of your closest friends next to you, you were just !!!! so frickin soft

akaashi on the other hand didn’t feel anything but utter nervousness the whole time

it was so cold under the night sky and you were so close to him, he’s praying that you take the redness on his cheeks from the weather and not from the rapid racing of his heart

bokuto texting him: bro i swear to god if you’re not taking this chance to shoot your shot i’m >:(

he’s so nervous because it actually was an ideal time to tell you how much he liked you

plus he’s pretty sure that you were eventually gonna notice just how often he glanced at you whenever you came to their practices or in general

so he’s like fine then !!! he’s gonna do this tonight and if you reject him then he’s just gonna have to deal !!!!

akaashi, anxious: hey i really li—

you, cutting him off: i like you a lot and i’m pretty sure bokuto did this on purpose because he knows and i’m sorry if it wasted your time !!!!

akaashi, less anxious: oh

HE !! DOES NOT HESITATE !!! TO REASSURE YOU !!

he just smiles softly and tucks your hand in his and tells you he’d like to walk you home that night

after that something just changed between the two of you

suddenly he’s walking you home everyday with little forehead kisses before he leaves

going grocery shopping with him when you run out of food at home because he’s the only one who knows about your secret snack stash

akaashi: you don’t need that much yakult

you: ? don’t be alarmed but i think we just found the reason of our first fight

whenever you go out with him to shop for anything at all, he always has to be the person in front when you walk because he’s the one pushing the cart with his left hand while his right is tightly interlocked with yours

you just stray behind him, pointing out all the things you’d like and he’s the one who decides if it’s worth to buy because you’re absolutely sure that you’d be dead broke if you were left alone

akaashi: this hoodie looks cute, do you wanna try it out

you, recalling the four sweatshirts you haven’t returned to him: nah i have enough

sometimes you’d get in the cart whenever the grocery store you’re in is mega big and he’s just gonna have the most unbothered face as people eye him because he’s pushing a fucking cart with a person in it

you’d get worried though thinking that you’re too heavy for him to push around so you insist to get off but he just doesn’t let you because you were so cute and 😤

akaashi is just so frickin soft when it comes to you like most of the time when someone idly mentions your name a smile immediately comes up to his face and he doesn’t even realize it

he also almost always wake up to numerous snaps of you at 3 in the morning just doing the most random things

he goes through them with such a silly grin and has to fight the urge to screenshot all of them cause u were so FRICKEN cute

akaashi, looking at a photo of you with tears down your face from 4 am: that’s my baby 👉👈

everyone around y’all are just on the fence about the two of you dating since neither of you really cleared what was going on ???

you were scared to call him your boyfriend because there was never really a discussion about it and you didn’t want to come off as assuming

but one afternoon right before he left when he dropped you off at your house, he just stopped and looked at you and you were so confused

akaashi, taking off his sweatshirt and giving it to you: the news said it gets cold tonight

you, on the verge of tears: oh 🥺

tsukishima kei

he’s a salty little shit who complains 24/7 and that’s about as canon as it gets

BUT but !!! if there’s anything tsukishima is good at and i mean anything !!! it’s being observant and keen on the people around him !!! ESP TO YOU !!!

at first you were always just kinda there ?

like he noticed your presence cause you shared classes with him and you were also at his practices a lot cause you and kiyoko would walk home together

so he knew of you but didn’t really know know you, yk?

but then one day yamaguchi came to him introducing you because apparently he’s the only one left on the team who hasn’t met you and it may or may not be because you were low key scared of him

it’s all good though cause once you two shook hands and talked he became more open to actually including you in his life

you guys made out to be good friends considering that you balanced out his snarky attitude with your even worse comebacks

like they weren’t really all that clever but it’s annoying enough to get him to shut up when you want him to

everyone on the team was super surprised at the fact that you were able to talk to tsukishima like that but also they were like: “please don’t ever stop???”

so you became from someone he barely realized was there to always looking for you first when he enters a room

yamaguchi: you know some people would call that having a crush 😗

and he’s all confused cause he knew that the possibility of him getting through high school without having a crush was very slim but jesus christ a crush on YOU??

tsukki, internally: god has favorites and it is not me 💔

but when he gets over the idea that it’s completely revolting to like you like that he realizes something click and suddenly it wasn’t an annoying idea to see you romantically

so in full tsukishima style he asks you out and was pretty surprised when you said yes but you weren’t cause he wasn’t even mildly subtle at hiding his intentions

you: does this mean you won’t be mean to me anymore 🥺

tsukki: no but that’s a nice try ❤️

even when the two of you started dating, he didn’t really want anything to change cause he liked the dynamic he had with you

he was very relieved that you weren’t easily offended and you didn’t really get on his nerves a lot

you guys were hot heads but you also respected each other 🥺

something you quickly became accustomed to after dating though is being codependent when it came to sleeping

you’re usually always over at each other’s houses and his mom is totally over the moon at the fact that his son found someone like you

so every afternoon after school you two are at either houses and just chilling and vibing because school do be very tiring tho

most of the time naps happen and even if it is super hot outside and you’re on the verge of a heat stroke, you just can’t get comfortable unless you’re touching him yk?

tsukishima’s probably the same since he really likes it when his leg is over yours or when his arm is touching your arm

you, under a blanket against tsukki’s back in extremely warm weather: it’s hot

tsukki, sweating: yeah

you: so anyways

he didn’t even realize how much he’s used to you being there when he falls asleep that at night when he actually needs to rest and you’re not anywhere near him he just can’t ???

tsukishima, snapping you a picture of him with tired eyes at 2 in the morning: you ruined my life

you, just as tired, quickly replying: uno reverse card bitch

so it’s 2 am and neither of you can fall asleep and it’s just an entire frenzy of tiring yourselves out

the two of you end up facetiming and just talking endlessly about random thoughts and perspectives on people

his voice is 100% groggy and every 2 minutes he’s yawning but he really likes it when he’s talking to you because it’s always better when it’s you in the mix

he’s telling you all about how he thinks dinosaurs are super cool and fantastic that when he realizes you’ve fallen asleep he’s just like 🥺

he stares at the screen for a while, suddenly regretting that he wasn’t there to make sure you were comfortable

he’s got the softest smile on and he doesn’t even care that he’s staring at you while you’re asleep cause you just looked so peaceful and warm and sweet

tsukki: that’s my baby 🥺

he feels another yawn come up and he ends the call, hoping that the tone won’t wake you up when he does

at this point he’s also on the verge of falling asleep and he’s very glad that he talked to you because you always knew how to get him out of things like this

tsukki, texting you: thanks for falling asleep on me SNAKE

tsukki: love you, gn <3

[wizkiddx]

...surprise

um okay so here I am trying angst again. this is kind of intended to be open ended bcos might have a part two at some point. im also lazy and has a few time jumps. also if someone could pls explain if you just get pics for the top of these off internet or credit on like gifs or something that’d be appreciated.

Summary: Tom comes home and everything is most definitely not the way he left, nor is it healthy

Warnings: please read with caution esp relationship with food / weightloss, but just generally a person in a bad bad head space, lots of self blame - then next parts will carry different warnings too

************************

Tom had been away for months. Months and months away from his girlfriend, separated entirely by his filming locations in Europe and America; while you were busy slowly and steadily climbing the ranks of your law firm. Being an intense period for the pair, you hadn’t managed to see each other in 2 and a half months.  Of course, both go you were used to this - 3 years deep into a relationship between an actor and a wanna-be lawyer- this was the name of the game.

But honestly? You both just kept falling deeper and deeper, making the separation harder to deal with - rather than getting used to it as one might hope.

That's why Tom felt such an incredibly overwhelming wave of relief as he dumped his bags just outside his front door. Even though he was exhausted from the travelling, just the mere act of finally phishing out his housekeys brought a massive grin to his face - caused particularly by the sight of his tacky little keyring from a Moroccan market that you’d bought him. That had been your first holiday. There’s that old saying that before you move in with someone go on holiday first - Tom understood it to mean you supposedly see all the bad and ugly stuff people can hide from each other, a prewiring before committing to living in the same space. However that holiday all he’d learned was incredible you are to him. To his dying day, Tom will never forget the moment he looked over to his left when the two of you were on this night time stargaze in the depth of the Moroccan desert. Y/n had never seen stars like it, the skies so incredibly clear and lit up with an array of magical blues and purples and whites on its sark background. The sight, for no unexplainable reason, had you completely opening up to Tom about things she’d never told a single soul. And in that moment he’d had this sort of realisation. Not about how much he loved her - because that is just the cliche thing everyone says… and also just wasn’t true.

In that moment he’d rather realised the potential. The sort of ‘I’m not there yet but I know you could become the centre of my universe’. The sort of ‘I’m not ready to say this yet, but I want to spend my life with you’. The sort of ‘at some point in my life I’m not sure my heart will be able to beat without yours’.

He still hadn’t quite got to explicitly saying all that yet, by asking you for the ultimate commitment. But he planned to now he was coming back to you.

Even with the chill of the early evening winter air, Tom was almost ecstatic as he unlocked the door and let himself in. He hadn’t told you that he was coming home, you thought he had another two weeks on the job, but Tom was a bit of an old romantic - he loved seeing your eyes fill with wonder as he surprised you in whatever way. Sometimes it was as simple as a note on the fridge, or a small bouquet from behind his back or as fancy as a surprise holiday.

However, this time, though it was only 6 in the evening, all the lights of their house were off making Tom raise an eyebrow as he quietly slipped off his shoes - not wanting to scare Y/n just in case.

Tom had sworn when he’d been on the phone with you the previous day, you didn’t have any plans tonight but perhaps maybe a spontaneous pub trip and been offered with work colleagues. The house felt a little cold as he padded through it, poking his head into every room just to check Y/n wasn’t there. His last port of call was the bedroom.

By this point, Tom was pretty resigned on the fact you were out and he’d maybe cook a meal for when you got back or hide about the house or something. But instead, when he poked his head around this door, he sighed in delight at the sight of a still mound under the plush white sheets. For a brief moment, Tom paused, before tiptoeing steadily round to her bedside. The light was still off but the hallway light illuminated the room enough so he could make out your soft features and the messy ball of hair that had been haphazardly thrown in a bun. Furthermore, he could also notice in the light the packet of painkillers and migraine tablets lying opened on the bedside - which made him freeze. Y/n didn’t get migraines often at all, but when she did Tom knew just how bad they could be. That explained the fact you were spark out at six o’clock, making Tom give a sympathetic smile. He crept back out the room with a little spring in his step, deciding that since he had had a long day travelling he'd grab a snack and join you. Unfortunately though, when he enthusiastically yanked the fridge open the sight was a rather depressing one. He didn’t really know what he was craving but the fridge contents were of almost no use to anyone. The place was bloody baron, apart from a tub of butter and of course his special beers that Y/n would never dare touch. With a small huff though, Tom resigned himself to some bread and butter, before getting ready for bed.

It was probably an hour later when Tom was carefully crawling under the duvet to settle in beside Y/n after the disappointing snack and maybe a solitary ‘welcome home beer’ - it would be rude not to. God was he excited to just have his girlfriend in his arms again though. So, Tom naturally reached over and powerfully yet gently pulled you back towards him - making your back flush with his as you mumbled something incoherent. Chuckling slightly at your apparent annoyance of being disturbed, Tom pressed a kiss to her temple before settling down momentarily.

But something wasn’t quite right, making Tom shuffle about a bit - ever adjusting huis grasp on your waist as he attempted to get comfy. With the migraine medications forcing you into a deep deep sleep you barely stirred and that just made the unease increase for Tom. Because you didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel right. Ever so slowly Tom started to peel back the duvet from your body from his now sitting upright position. Typically, Y/n was wearing one of his hoodies, however more concerningly it seemed to pool and collect around your frame more than normal.

Now, Y/n was never the most petite person in the world - by no means overweight, instead of beautiful curves and muscle. To Tom now though, it was as if someone had literally shrunk you - like a picture on a word document you needed to make narrower to fit the margins. Even in the dim light of the bedroom he know realised you looked pale. Honestly, Tom didn’t know how long he just sat there staring at you, until you sighed a little and pulled the duvet back up to just under your chin.

He didn’t know what to think or do. All he knew was you didn’t look well and that you hadn’t said a thing to him. Feeling so very uncomfortable within himself, Tom climbed out the bed and simultaneously grabbed his phone. He knew he had to call someone, to check that you hadn’t been ill - but then who to call? Someone that wouldn’t judge or instantly worry- your mum was completely off the cards. Also, he hadn’t even given you the chance to explain yet, so really he knew there was only a couple of options who were close enough to him too.

“Hey what’s up?” “Um nothing much, back in the UK though so-“ “Oh shit really! Kept that one quite bro” “Yeh well came back to surprise Y/n” “Oh you're soooo whipped” “Fuck off Haz, have you um… have you seen her recently anyway?” “You're asking me if I’ve seen your girl while you’ve been away?” “I’m being serious. You’re pretty much brother and sister and I’m -I’m a bit worried.” “What? You know she wouldn’t cheat especially with me” Haz’s tone turned less serious, using a goofy accent “ I know too much.” Haz still attempted to lighten the mood, this conversation very unexpected and making him grow more and more concerned himself. “Haz quit it. I’m worried she’s been ill. I’ve come in and she’s asleep with a migraine but there’s no food in the fridge and she’s skinny as hell.” “Fuck er sorry I didn’t realise. But um no she’s been cancelling on us for the past like two weeks cos like…I don’t know said she was just snowed under at the firm so” “But before then?” “No yeh she was fine. Went to the pub a couple times and she always drove so didn’t drink but nothing weird - think she wanted to keep a clear head. What are you thinking?” “I don’t know to be honest mate. She seemed fine on the phone but I swear to god she looks half the size  of what she was when I left.” “Just talk to her in the morning? She probably is just stressed if work has been mad busy.” Tom hummed in agreement, half trying to convince himself too. “Yeh yeh, sorry for bothering you.” “Oh shut up mate - I’ll see you both at your parents for the roast tomorrow? Sams got some new recipe I think, he’s been wittering on about it for days.” “Yeh we’ll be there, see you then mate.” 

After signing off to Haz, Tom placed his phone on the little table on the upstairs hallway and sighed. He knew he was being over-protective but he couldn’t help it. Y/n was always the one to care for him, in fact to care for everybody int he room and then some.

He’d get to the bottom of whatever this was tomorrow, and so the rest of the evening Tom spent rather unhappily get ready before bed yet again before climbing back in next to you.

///////////////////////////

Tom woke before you, a combination of jet lag and the worry in the pit of his stomach meaning he stirred awake first. Instinctively he pulled you closer and nuzzled his nose into the side of your neck as he slowly began to wake up properly - shrugging off the grogginess. Tom was still really excited for you to realise he was back, predicting you  to excitedly hug him ever so tight and then spend the morning between the sheets. He knew you found the distance tough, especially when all your closest friends were coupled off, it meant you just didn’t have ‘your person’. It was almost as if you were single again and instead of pining over an ex, hopelessly and completely in love with someone across the globe. But that just made your time together even more invaluable and precious.

So even with his slight unease at your slimmer silhouette, Tom didn't have any control over the loopy grin that came to his face as you started to stir and mumble something incoherent, all the while (and subconsciously) inching closer towards him. By the slight fluttering under your eyelid, Tom knew you were waking up and so took the moment to tuck your frizzy bed hair behind your ear. Sighing contently Y/n’s eyes fluttered completely open and Tom met your gaze with the most gently of smiles.

However, he then watched moment by moment as your expression morphed for one of peacefulness and content, through confusion, and ending at pure terror. He had barely thought of asking you why, before you yelped, throwing yourself up into a sitting position and backing as far away on the bed as you could from Tom. “TOM... I-you can’t be here! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!” “Y/n hey what’s wrong-“ “GET OUT! G-GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU CAN’T BE HERE” you  yanked the bedsheets to completely cover your huddled up body, as if trying to protect yourself. At this point, tears were streaming down your face and what truly terrified Tom was the expression of horror in your eyes. He threw his hands in the air and unsteadily stumbled to his feet. “O-okay I’m-“ “GET OUT!!! YOU CAN'T SEE ME GET OUT!” Completely bemused and shocked, Tom just nodded jerkily -already halfway out the door and accidentally slamming it in haste.

He had absolutely zero clue what that was about. But what he knew for a fact? He’d never ever seen you like that… you looked so completely terrified… of him? Tom couldn’t for the life of him work out what the hell was going on, as he paced from the shut door to the hallway wall and back again, running his hand through his hair throughout. He could hear you sobbing and whisper yelling - presumably at yourself. It felt as though his heart was being torn out, seeing you that upset and it appearing as his fault? He was acting on pure instinct and adrenalin because your pain hurt him too. He had no control of the physiological response in his body, making his hands shake and breathing increase in speed as it inversely got shallower too.

And so he took a short inhalation, biting his bottom lip as he knocked on the door. “Y/n?….” He got no response after waiting a couple of seconds so tried again - because he could hear you trying to stifle your sobs. After another two failed attempts he opted for a different approach. “Y/n… I’m worried about you… look, I know your upset right now but I need you to let me know your okay… or I’ll have to come in and…and I don’t want to spook you” “Don’t come in.” It was a sharp reply, with a voice that was cracked and clearly trying to keep It together. “Okay… I-I’m sorry if my surprise of coming home was a dumb idea…I-I’ve missed you.” Tom tried speaking softly, as he knelt down and sat with this back against the wall while nervously fiddling with his watch strap that he’d forgot to take off last night. Again he waited for a response but got nothing, again having to warn you he needed to know you were okay. He heard movements from the other side of the door, making him turn his head to the left, pressing his ear on the cool gloss paint. “I-I’m sorry” You barely were whispering, but Tom could sense you were now sitting in a position mirroring his “You don’t meed to apologise love” Returning her tone, Tom sighed at the end - trying to get his brain to process what was going on.

Y/n wasn’t one to overreact and Tom could count on one hand the number of serious fights they’d had in the three year romance. And even then, he was the one to raise his voice - when she argued it was more reasoned, slow and controlled. Actually it was one of the things that in those moments infuriated him even more - you were just so level headed and sensible. Scratch that, sensible purely in this context - everywhere else you were just as loopy as him. So this situation felt so very alien. He didn’t know how to help you and he bloody hated feeling useless.

After a few moments, you replied to apologise once again, for shouting specifically,  and Tom nodded - not that you could see. But that was one of the things Y/n had taught him, sometimes you just have accept things - no matter the context. Accept he wasn’t actually a superhero and couldn’t do everything, accept that sometimes he could be a dick and out of line or accept an apology.

“Can you.. can you try and tell me why your upset? I want to help.” He was trying to be gentle, non-confrontational. But he knew something was so wrong. He needed to know so he could try and help out. “I…”Y/n began, but quickly trailed off, as if trying to formulate the words properly. “I’ve just been ill and” again another pause “and I haven’t been looking after myself very well. I just planned to be umm- to be better when you got back.”

It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t really the truth either, at least not the whole truth. But it wasn’t a lie.

“I’m not sure I understand why your so worried about what I think though?” Tom inquired, as he started to fiddle with the door handle in his left hand - as if easing the idea of coming into his girlfriend without scaring you. In reply, you sighed again trying to put the words together without explicitly spelling it out to him. “I don’t- I thought you’d just be disappointed or-or think I’m reliant on you. I’m not and I can handle myself I just…. I don’t know.” “I love you, you idiot.”Tom chuckled at that, while standing up. “Can I come in now please? I promise I’m not disappointed just want to help you feel better.”

The door opened and no sooner could Tom take a step forward than Y/n ran into his chest, wrapping herself tightly around him in apology. He knew that he didn’t have the full story but really didn’t want to push her, more preferring to just love her. So that’s what they spent the rest of the morning doing, in their pyjamas and watching TV. Quite obviously, she wasn’t really making a lot of conversation, Tom filled some gaps with talking about filming - to which she’d hum in agreement or chuckle along. But for the most part Y/n was concentrating on something else.

The all-consuming guilt. That was what was eating away at her.

part 2?

[firstfullmoon]

Do you have favorite quotes related about the importance of small details?

“The precious intimacy of little things.”

— Daphné du Maurier, I Will Never Be Young Again

“On my windowsill when I got home, there was a tumbler with pink jelly in it, and embedded in the jelly, sliced strawberries and bananas… [my neighbour] cooks at odd hours. She must have made the strawberry jelly this morning. When I buy baklava, which is not often because I eat too many, I leave a few for her on her windowsill, with a headscarf over them so the wasps don’t come. For these little gifts we don’t thank each other with words. They are commas of care.”

— John Berger, From A to X: A Story in Letters

“I suppose I could spend time theorizing how it is that people are not bad to each other, but that’s really not the point. The point is that in almost every instance of our lives, our social lives, we are, if we pay attention, in the midst of an almost constant, if subtle, caretaking. Holding open doors. Offering elbows at crosswalks. Letting someone else go first. Helping with the heavy bags. Reaching what’s too high, or what’s been dropped. Pulling someone back to their feet. Stopping at the car wreck, at the struck dog. The alternating merge, also known as the zipper. This caretaking is our default mode and it’s always a lie that convinces us to act or believe otherwise. Always.”

“One of the woman was gently arranging an older woman’s collar beneath her sweater, freeing it from the cardigan’s neck, using both of her hands to jostle it free but also seeming to spend a little more time than necessary, creasing the fold of the collar, the other hand kind of resting on her shoulder, the two of them chatting the whole time, sitting there holding each other, nodding, my head twisting toward them like a sunflower as I finished the stairs and walked by, so in love was I with this common flourish of love, this everyday human light.”

“but her need to share the photo with me [...] smiling and looking at it, smiling and looking at me looking at it, me smiling and looking at her looking at it, which is simply called sharing what we love, what we find beautiful, which is an ethics.”

— Ross Gay, The Book of Delights

“He’s got a fever. He’s all alone. So I’m gonna buy him something to eat.” “The congee downstairs is quite good.” “He doesn’t want congee.” “What does he want?” “Can’t taste anything so he wants sesame syrup.” [...] “What are you cooking?” “I had a sudden craving for sesame syrup.”

“Why did you call me at the office today?” “I had nothing to do. I wanted to hear your voice.”

— In the Mood for Love, dir. Wong Kar-Wai

— Danusha Laméris, “Small Kindnesses”

“It all matters. That someone turns out the lamp, picks up the windblown wrapper, says hello to the invalid, pays at the unattended lot, listens to the repeated tale, folds the abandoned laundry, plays the game fairly, tells the story honestly, acknowledges help, gives credit, says good night, resists temptation, wipes the counter, waits at the yellow, makes the bed, tips the maid, remembers the illness, congratulates the victor, accepts the consequences, takes a stand, steps up, offers a hand, goes first, goes last, chooses the small portion, teaches the child, tends to the dying, comforts the grieving, removes the splinter, wipes the tear, directs the lost, touches the lonely, is the whole thing. What is most beautiful is least acknowledged. What is worth dying for is barely noticed.”

— Laura McBride, We Are Called to Rise

“I’ve never told you this,” she said. “But there’s something about taking the cart back instead of leaving it in the parking lot. I don’t know when this came to me; it was a few years ago. There’s a difference between leaving it where you empty it and taking it back to the front of the store. It’s significant.” “Because somebody has to take them in.” “Yes. And if you know that, and you do it for that one guy, you do something else. You join the world…You move out of your isolation and become universal.”

— Andre Dubus, “Out of the Snow”

“It’s true that, in Vietnamese, we rarely say I love you, and when we do, it is almost always in English. Care and love, for us, are pronounced clearest through service: plucking white hairs, pressing yourself on your son to absorb a plane’s turbulence and, therefore, his fear. Or now—as Lan called to me, “Little Dog, get over here and help me help your mother.” And we knelt on each side of you, rolling out the hardened cords in your upper arms, then down to your wrists, your fingers. For a moment almost too brief to matter, this made sense—that three people on the floor, connected to each other by touch, made something like the word family.”

— Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous: A Novel

— Ada Limón, from “The Great Blue Heron of Dunbar Road”

“I’m doing a balancing act with a stack of fresh fruit in my basket. I love you. I want us both to eat well.”

— Christopher Citro, from “Our Beautiful Life When It’s Filled WIth Shrieks”

“One of the primary ways we connect with each other is by eating together. Some of the connection happens simply by being in the same place at the same time and sharing the same food, but we also connect through specific actions, such as serving food to one another or making toasts: ‘May I offer you some potatoes?’ ‘Here’s to your health and happiness.’ Much of our fundamental well-being comes from the basic reassurance that there is a place for us at the table. We belong here. Here we are served and we serve others. Here we give and receive sustenance.”

— Edward Espe Brown, Tomato Blessings and Radish Teaching

“Attention is the beginning of devotion.”

“Now in the spring I kneel, I put my face into the packets of violets, the dampness, the freshness, the sense of ever-ness. Something is wrong, I know it, if I don’t keep my attention on eternity. May I be the tiniest nail in the house of the universe, tiny but useful. May I stay forever in the stream. May I look down upon the windflower and the bull thistle and the coreopsis with the greatest respect.”

“it is a serious thing

just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world.”

— Mary Oliver, Upstream: Selected Essays / from “Invitation”

— Wendy Cope, “The Orange”

“After learning my flight was detained 4 hours, I heard the announcement: if anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic, please come to the gate immediately. Well—one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there. An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress, just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly. Help, said the flight service person. Talk to her. What is her problem? We told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she did this. I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly. Shu dow-a, shu-biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick, sho bit se-wee? The minute she heard any words she knew—however poorly used—she stopped crying. She thought our flight had been canceled entirely. She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the following day. I said no, no, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just late. Who is picking you up? Let’s call him and tell him. We called her son and I spoke with him in English. I told him I would stay with his mother until we got on the plane and would ride next to her—Southwest. She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and found out, of course, they had ten shared friends. Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours. She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life. Answering questions. She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—and was offering them to all the women at the gate. To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California, the lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies. And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers—non-alcoholic—and the two little girls from our flight, one African American, one Mexican American—ran around serving us all apple juice and lemonade, and they were covered with powdered sugar, too. And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing with green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere. And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought, this is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in this gate—once the crying of confusion stopped—has seemed apprehensive about any other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too. This can still happen anywhere. Not everything is lost.”

— Naomi Shihab Nye, “Gate A4″

“Then there are the things, if you are particularly lucky, that this person has done for you while you’re away: how in the pantry, in the freezer, in the refrigerator will be all the food you like to eat, the scotch you like to drink. There will be the sweater you thought you lost the previous year at the theater, clean and folded and back on its shelf. There will be the shirt with its dangling buttons, but the buttons will be sewn back in place. There will be your mail stacked on one side of his desk; there will be a contract for an advertising campaign you’re going to do in Germany for an Austrian beer, with his notes in the margin to discuss with your lawyer. And there will be no mention of it, and you will know that it was done with genuine pleasure, and you will know that part of the reason—a small part, but a part—you love being in this apartment and in this relationship is because this other person is always making a home for you, and that when you tell him this, he won’t be offended but pleased, and you’ll be glad, because you meant it with gratitude.”

— Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

[bigskydreaming]

If Dick and Bruce are always both at fault for their conflicts then why does it always go “Dick does something/wants to do something and Bruce doesn’t like it or tells him he’s wrong.” With the other times being “Bruce does something that affects Dick’s life without considering it’s effect on Dick and Dick’s not really upset at what Bruce did he’s literally just upset about the lack of consideration for how Dick would be affected.”

Like how does that work. Dick’s stubbornness is so often cited as being what causes conflicts between them but like....he’s only stubborn when it comes to Bruce attempting to make choices for him or suddenly changing his mind about not being okay with stuff he’s previously enabled Dick in and expecting Dick to just be fine with that. With his temper cited as being what puts him equally at fault with Bruce the other times but again when he’s literally just upset at Bruce’s lack of visible consideration for how Dick is affected by various Big Decisions that Bruce makes....how does that track?

The frustration I and many others have about the vaguely referenced but rarely delved into implications or outright statements that Dick and Bruce fight so often because they’re both equally stubborn and hot headed and refusing to apologize....is that Bruce is the catalyst for almost all these conflicts. It’s his choices that prompt them. He decides things and Dick is affected in various ways by those decisions and Dick is almost always just saying hey I’m here, I matter, but it doesn’t feel that way when you keep acting like it’s hard to remember I exist and my feelings are any kind of priority to you.

That’s not equal. That’s not an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. That’s a big fish making big moves and the smaller fish he took in and who is emotionally attached to him for life frantically trying to remind him he’s along for the ride and getting dragged around by the slipstream the bigger one makes without any seeming awareness of his greater ability to affect the smaller one’s life, the very course and direction of it.

And that’s not because Dick’s lesser than Bruce but it is because what gets obscured by the sometimes vague ways their dynamic is hand waved as being something other than father and son but not actually defined....no matter how you slice it, Dick was his dependent. Literally. Bruce took responsibility for Dick as a child and Dick was dependent on him until he was old enough to be independent.

And that matters, even into Dick’s adulthood because their dynamic, no matter what it grew into, began from these roots and you can’t just uproot who they are twenty years later from the ground it was planted in and act like that has no bearing anymore. It doesn’t work that way.

Like, the thing about Bruce forgetting to prioritize Dick and how he’ll be affected by things I think has a lot to do with Bruce second guessing himself and wondering if he’s had a net positive effect on Dick’s life. And he can think back to when he made that choice to take Dick in and kinda picture or wonder might have happened if he hadn’t made that choice.

And by extension, he can see a life without Dick in it, even if he’s justifying it to himself as being better for Dick that way...but the point is he can see it because he did live it, even if briefly. He might have been young when he took in Dick but he was still an adult, still grown, still established in who he was and what he intended to do with his life.

But the problem lies in the fact that while Bruce might try to convince himself that Dick would have been better off without him, and by extension he thinks about a life without him....he’s picturing himself before taking him in. Still adult, still Brucie, still Batman. Still similar ENOUGH that he can put himself in this train of thought that like....if he’d just made a different choice then, Dick would be better off, and then from there he can kinda...make decisions from the POV of the self he was when Dick wasn’t in his life, he can see what that looks like, what he looks like, and he makes decisions that focus just on him and his own actions and he’s still thinking how Dick is better off that way. When he makes decisions without acknowledging how they’ll affect Dick, he’s not doing it to be thoughtless, he’s convinced himself to separate himself from Dick in his mind....and defaulting to the template of himself he has from when Dick really WASNT in his life yet.

And the thing is....Dick can’t do that. So when Bruce makes choices and actions that look and seem like he’s not acknowledging that Dick’s life is intrinsically connected to Bruce’s and everything Bruce does has SOME impact on him because he’s been the guiding force in Dick’s life since he was eight....when Bruce acts like he’s making choices as if in a world where he never took Dick in even if he thinks he’s better off that way....

There’s nothing for Dick to picture, to imagine that world in the way Bruce is. To imagine himself. Because take away Bruce’s impact on Dick’s life, and from Bruce’s POV you just see the infinite potential of what Dick could have been, but that’s because like....that’s Dick at age eight. He’s barely started becoming who he’ll be as an adult. Eight year olds by their very natures are more varied and full of potential than adults because there’s so much less set in stone by then, they have yet to establish themselves as THEM.

But take away Bruce’s impact on Dick’s life for whatever reason, and from Dick’s POV it looks vastly different. Because the only thing he can picture concretely then...is himself at age eight. When he was at his most lost and confused. When he WASNT able to be by himself yet because who he was just wasn’t even all there yet. It was still actively in formation. In a state of new growth, early stages of creation. When he still very much needed an adult presence with more experience, confidence and knowledge to help shape and guide him through the turbulent process of growing to adulthood and finding himself along the way.

Bruce imagines removing himself from the equation of Dick’s life and seeing the still unrealized potential of that eight year old and everything he might be. Dick is forced to imagine himself after Bruce’s removal from the equation of his life, simply because Bruce so often ACTS like he’s doing just that....and Dick suddenly has NO IDEA what he looks like.

Because he’s not fixated on the before image of himself that Bruce has when he thinks of Dick before Bruce took him in. He’s fixated on his life in the here and now...and when he’s catapulted into imaginings of life without Bruce because Bruce is acting like he exists entirely separate from Bruce and his decisions....he’s back to who he was before Bruce, that scared and confused little kid....and with no way to even begin to picture who he would have grown up to be in a life without Bruce.

Same imagined scenario. But two entirely different perspectives with wildly different appeal. As in one holds no appeal at all...because Dick has never really actually expressed that he wishes Bruce hadn’t taken him in. That HE thinks he would have been better off that way. It’s like asking him to picture himself as a total stranger with no way to begin imagining what he became instead of who he is now....and Dick LIKES who he is now. He has his issues but he LIKES being Nightwing, helping people, all the family and friends he would never have met in a world without Bruce.

It’s just....for all that Bruce says that Dick as an adult has become his equal, this is still a father and son and you can’t keep coming up in both canon and fanfics with events and stories where it’s like the father is operating from a place of ‘my son would be better off without me’ and act like the conflict that ensues is one of equal dynamic....because the conflict, the at odds perspectives, are directly born from the father and son dynamic.

It’s the father questioning his place in his son’s life, after being the one who volunteered for that position and thus earned the eternal gratitude of the son who had desperately needed that adult to depend on at the time he’d stepped into fill it...and the son now wondering well who the fuck even am I without that then, where does that leave me?

Bruce is picturing ANYONE being better for Dick at the times when he second guesses his impact on Dick’s life. But Dick is just picturing an empty cut out with no one to imagine in that place, just an awareness that the kid he’d been back then had really truly needed someone there and there’s no one to put in that place instead. (And it really doesn’t come up enough in examinations of Dick’s character, esp in stories using the juvie origin specifically that like....Dick was painfully aware that no one other than Bruce was exactly lining up to do right by him or give him one of those better lives Bruce is optimistically picturing for him when he’s second guessing his own suitability as Dick’s parent. Dick would be like did you forget where you found me??! Who the fuck do you think was going to give me a better life when nobody but you was even seeing a problem with me being in kiddie jail for the crime of Orphaned While Looked Down On By Society?)

But it’s just like....Bruce and Dick’s arguments, especially ones geared around ambiguity as to the status and nature of their relationship....are not conflicts between equals. They’re a son saying he feels like he doesn’t trust the dynamic between them is solid and the father being like well I’d like to reassure you it’s just I’m spiraling because I don’t think I even should be your father.

And that’s just. SO not something Dick can, let alone SHOULD have to address. HE’S the one who’s lost and adrift and basically a homeless orphan the second you take Bruce’s stability out of his life. It isn’t on that guy to reassure the one who volunteered to BE the source of stability in the life of the kid desperately in need of that.

Bruce is of course more than allowed and understandable in having doubts as a parent. But like. You go to Alfred for that. Clark. Selina. Literally any other adult. But not the kid who you force to wonder how to trust in the strength of the bond you’re actively questioning should even exist....when YOU’RE the source of that bond and what he relies on to see himself as even HAVING a parent at all.

Like. It just isn’t the “both equally at fault” thing people keep calling it. It’s a son flailing because he doubts his place in his father’s life at multiple points because his father basically at multiple points flat out says hey you should probably have doubts about that because LOL guess what I’m having right now!

Y’know?

Oh and also, PS - its reeeeeeally not great IMO, how many fics resolve these conflicts by HAVING Dick reassure Bruce that he loves him and is grateful to him for taking him in and he doesn’t know who he’d be without him, because uh....

You basically just ended whatever fight they were having by deciding that Dick couldn’t afford to even BE mad at Bruce any longer for whatever he did or said, because he has to prioritize making Bruce feel better about his own decisions instead of Bruce having to prioritize making him feel better about his place in the Batfam and ensuring Dick knows that he deserves better than just the bare minimum, parenting wise. That if Bruce legitimately fucked up, its okay to call him on it and hold him accountable for recognizing what he’d done and growing to see how he can do better.

Like....that’s not a resolution to their conflict! That’s just Dick being forced to pat his dad on the back for what a good job he did because Bruce’s insecurities are more important to address than whatever it was that Bruce did to upset Dick in the first place, even if it was literally something he’d fucked up as a parent, and that needed addressing or it’d happen again. (Like....it usually ends up happening again).

You literally make it impossible for Bruce to ever TRULY be held accountable for things he does to ANY of his kids....when you continually treat the ultimate resolution to these conflicts being the KIDS reassuring BRUCE.

My eternal mantra, repeated ad nauseam, in all caps for hyperbolic emphasis not because I’m actually yelling at anyone, I’m actually sitting down at my desk, quite calm at the moment just FYI, just saying:

BRUCE IS THE FATHER. BRUCE VOLUNTEERED TO BE THE FATHER. MAKE BRUCE ACT LIKE THE FATHER AND DO THE THINGS THE FATHER IS SUPPOSED TO DO. NOT HIS KIDS.

[kanohivolitakk]

Since its 3Hs anniversary some really cool things I like about the game that aren’t talked about enough because the fandom is too busy arguing who is right and who is wrong

The worldbuilding just. 3H has honestly one of my favorite fictional settings. Its just both expansive but also genuinely interesting. I have spent HOURS thinking about the world and made so many ocs its not even funny. I love thinking about the setting of the game so much.

I LOVE the puzzle like way the game explains its world and story. Like I know some people don’t like it because it makes the game a bit too convoluted but personally? I LOVE 3Hs way of not telling everything but rather giving hints and clues the player has to piece themselves. It makes the games world feel more interactive and feels so satisfying. Then again I enjoy that kind of approach to worldbuilding

In general I love 3hs fragmented story and the way how the story is placed in many different fragments. It is geniunely rewarding to replay the game from another storypath and notice the foreshadowing Would’ve the story been probably better had it been just one storypath? Honestly yes. But 3h is ambitious and one of the ways it is is with its fragmented story structure.

The structure of White Clouds is criminally underrated honestly and gets way more hate than it deserves. I love how the first few chapters set up the world of Fodlan and show injustices/conflicts of the world with chapters like the chapter where you face off Lonato for instance. Then the next few chapters are spend in deepening the mysteries such as the conspiracy against the church and the mystery regarding TWSITD. Then Jeralt dies and the last few chapters are spent as “beginning of the End” so to speak, as things clears to the intense climax.

On related note I LOVE how the game handles perspective and how the lords are the respective ways we view the story. I know so many people say “WHite Clouds is same on all paths” but I do feel that’s kinda the point. The story is the same but there are differences that come from the way each of the lords is strongly characterized and has different values, worldviews. The subtle changes on what are focused on in each route also foreshadow what will be focused on each route, which I think is super cool.

Even beyond the lords and routes the game does explore the idea of perspective well. I do think 3h has this very “everyone is the hero of their own story” type of approach to perspective and it shows it well. Each character believes they’re in the right and you can get this view that they view themselves as right. Even Agarthans who are the designated villains have this sense they think they’re in right and that the Nabateans were evil.

The way how games routes being divided into having a different focus is very cool. I love how AM is a smaller scale personal tragedy, how CF is a battle of ideals and how VW explores the world and reveals deeper mysteries. I also love how all of these are related to the lords ideals and worldviews: Dimitri is the most conflicted of the lords so he gets the most characterfocused story focused on . Edelgard is the most ideologically driven so her path focuses on her ideals and battle of wills against Rhea. Claude is the one who is the most freespirited and wants to know the truth so his route focuses on revealing the mysteries.

Also the way the houses characters reflect their respective routes storyline and central themes: Black Eagles are nobles that have conflicting relationships with nobility reflecting Edelgards goal, Blue Lions are all united with the trauma of Tragedy of Duscur, and Golden Deer are a house of misfits who give this “ragtag group who will save the universe with POWER OF FRIENDSHIP and this cool gun I found” vibes which fit the route PERFECTLY

I LOVE how the game plays with and subverts a lot of Fire Emblem tropes. While it does play some tropes straight (dad death and evil cult manipulating behind the scenes) it does do a lot to break from series conventions and playing with ideas to make a more ambitious story. The way it either subverts expectations (The evil emperor being female well intended extremist, Rhea being the Gharnef/Medeus instead of the Nyna archetype she’s presented as), twists familiar tropes to their natural extreme (Dimitris arc is basically the natural extreme end of stereotypical FE lord) and other similar things make the game feeling so planned out, like the writers understood FE stories and wanted to make something that challenges FE while still feeling like it.

The way how every major player acts as foil/pararell to another player is so GOOD. Every faction leader can be compared to the other somehow and that just makes the game SOOOO fun to analyze, trying to find all the similarities and differences and pararells is so rewarding.

A more specific example on this is how i love how the game plays with the idea of holy/sacred weapons. While normally these weapons are artifacts from goddess that defeat dragons, here the holy weapons are bones made from dragons and just???? HOW METAL IS THAT????????? It’s just such a neat way to subvert the idea of sacred weapons. Rather than being blessed creations of the goddess, they are weapons of destruction made by the villains.

I ADORE THE GAMES science fiction elements. I know people say they feel out of place but personally, they make the game memorable for me. I still remember the first time I saw that scene with nukes. I especially love the heavy implication that Sothis isn’t a goddess but rather a powerful alien. It makes her character much more interesting

I know a lot of people don’t like Agarthans but can I just say their backstory being “forced to hide after their land got conquered and desiring it back” making them a dark mirror not just 3h lords/Rhea but FE lords as whole is SO FUCKING METAL. This is what I mean with 3H writers knowing their tropes like back of their hand.

I love how in Part 1 sometimes you’d talk to two characters in Monastery at once instead of just one. It’s something I miss in part 2 honestly.

I love the small sidequests such as the fishing tourney and White Heron cup and wish Part 1 had more of them, it would’ve made the school part feel more alive.

I LOVE how some missions (esp paralogues) have subgoals that you can clear to get better rewards. I wish the game had been more clear with them or even made them main goals of maps sometimes.

I LOVE THE WAY Paralogues act as small gaiden stories that show more of the games world and characters. Its a neat way to let the sidecharacters shine and reveal some neat secrets of the games world and story.

The gameplay loop is honetly fun and satisfying. It is rewarding and while it gets tiring towards the end overall its a good gameplay loop.

I ADORE the aesthetic of Shambhala. Its just so sleek and sinister. The cyrillic letters spelling different words is so cool. Shambhala is my favorite map in the game and the aesthetic is a big reason why.

The games soundtrack is so good!!!!!!!!!!  But not only that I LOVE the way its electro elements subtly hint of Agarthans being in control behind the scenes. This is especially cool in Road to Dominion where the electro parts are barely noticeable yet present. but other tracks have subtle electro vibes as well.  The other way the games music tells the story (such as use of leitmotifs or how the monastery music changes once Jeralt dies) is great as well.

I love how 3h can be read as an allegory for reformation era and reneissance. Its such an interesting way to read the games events and compare it to a real historical periods there’s quite a bit of f

In general I ADORE the cultural references of the game. There’s surprisingly lot of way the games world is based on real life and the details are just *chefs kiss*

THE GAME IS DENSE WITH THEMATIC IDEAS. Besides the perspective the game tackles ideas of how trauma can affect a persons psyche and worldview  (as well how a persons trauma affects the way they interact with the world which in turn can affect the world as well), grief, societal values, historical revisiniosm and so much more. The game tackles SO MANY topics in an interesting manner, it is thematically just as dense as it is storywise as well.

I also love how the games thematic parts work in harmony with the story rather than one overshadowing with the other. Its super refreshing honestly where a games themes and story are both rich and I don’t have to pick one over the other.

Lastly I ADORE the games central message (or at least what I see as the central message anyway): The world’s fucked up and most people want to fix it, but what they deem fixing differs and because of that they go into conflict or outright war rather than trying to find a common ground. Everyone wants a better world but no one can agree what a better world truly means  so they fight over it. It was a theme that not only resonates with my personal values but also hit me REALLY hard when I first played it as it’s a theme that I found incredibly relevant and reflective of our own world during the time I played the game for the first time.

So yeah. I made this post since there’s SO MUCH neat things about the game, its gameplay and story that sadly get swept under the rug in favor of either arguing  which lord was right/wrong or complaining how the game is an unfinished, rushed and overambitious mess. Is 3h perfect? Hell no. But it’s a game that I hold near and dear to my heart and does genuinely SO MANY THINGS RIGHT, I’m sad no one talks about the genuine strengths the game has anymore, instead just complaining.

I’m not even joking when I say that 3h should be up there as heralded as one of the best, most ambitious and complex JRPGs alongside Xenogears, the first Xenoblade game, Suikoden and Trails series as whole along other such games. Its a shame the games reputation is less like those games and more like Persona 5s where everyone focuses more on its flaws and the fans being annoying than the fact the game does geniunely A LOT right. It’s just that good, ambitious game I love so much.

[kommunistkaitou]

oh my g-d i cannot believe im seeing people on my dash genuinely call it antisemitic and/or genocide apologia to defend the molotov-ribbentrop pact like okay

the USSR requested that league of nations sanction germany when it began to remilitarize (breaking the treaty of versailles) and was told by every other LoN member to go pound sand

the USSR was the first country to propose to other european powers, to form a united front against nazi germany. this is because socialism and fascism are diametrically fucking opposed, and also because racial discrimination was extremely illegal in the USSR

they were denied this by other leaders, most notably the UK and France, because capitalist leaders were hoping that hitler would go east and get rid of the ussr for them

this is the #1 reason why they pressured their ally czechoslovakia into ceding part of their territory to the nazis as "appeasement," because in the case the nazis continued to be aggressive, wesetern europe wanted them to keep going east. chamberlain called the UK and Nazi Germany, "the two pillars of European peace and buttresses against communism."

they knew full well that they were leaving the remainder of czechoslovakia weak against further incursion and subjecting >800k czechoslovak citizens, many of whom were jewish, to suddenly living in nazi territory

this ALSO constituted a non-aggression pact with the Nazis that ACTUALLY IS as monstrous as people act like the m-r pact was

this move was supported by both churchill and by FDR in the USA

having been shown that the rest of europe + the USA would not care if the USSR was invaded by the nazis, and knowing that it was a matter of time before the nazis invaded the USSR, the molotov-ribbentrop pact was made in order to a) buy time for the USSR to prepare for invasion, and b) give the western european countries motivation to actually fight the nazis and not just hope the ussr would do it for them

the only country which suffered as a result of this pact was NOT poland, but finland, which was officially neutral but very much pro-nazi. the USSR requested finland lend them some land along their border so they could increase the defensible distance between the nazis and moscow, and finland refused. which is why the USSR invaded finland in "the winter war" and took a bunch of land from them

which sounds like a dick move and kinda was, but turned out to be completely necessary because the nazis did end up coming ridiculously close to moscow and would absolutely have gotten to moscow if it weren't for that land

this extra time also allowed the ussr to prepare for war (on two fronts, because they also fought japan) by training troops, amping up production for war-related industries, placing spies, etc

(in fact, a lot of Soviet spies from Western Europe, like the cambridge five etc. joined not because they were necessarily communists but because they were anti-Nazi and disappointed in their own govts' not taking hitler seriously)

the USSR did overwhelmingly more damage to the nazis than any other allied country, despite being less than 30yrs old, fighting on 2 fronts, and barely past their industrial revolution. they also took massive casualties

the USSR was also the only country in Europe & one of the only large countries in the world, to not put a cap on how many Jewish refugees could enter (& also accepted all other refugees, many countries denied entry to romani ppl and to communists)

(most of the rest of europe didn't even allow jews who had fled to return to their homes and instead encouraged them to go to israel)

the USSR actually persecuted nazis in all the areas they had control of after ww2 but the other allied countries esp the USA mostly did not, and in fact the USA (and Canada) both recruited Nazi scientists into cushy jobs working on nukes etc to use against the USSR

listen the USSR was not perfect. there's a lot of shit that did go down in eastern europe after ww2 that couldve been a lot better. but there is absolutely no basis for comparing the USSR to nazi germany, or calling it antisemitic, or nazi collaborationist, etc. like there literally is no basis at all. the molotov-ribbentrop pact, the only time the countries shook hands, was a short-lived tactical maneuver done in order to boost their chances of defeating the nazis later on, and it was only done after every other country involved did the literal exact same thing

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

#i wonder what your thoughts on diaspora in hetalia are#cause its a pretty interesting topic (the post in question)

@urmomsstuntdouble a collection of things that I think about on a semi-regular basis below the cut (also thank you for the tags!)

Disclaimer: I think this turned into more of a discussion of immigration and immigrants, but I hope this strikes your fancy anyways 😅. Also this got SO LONG and I explained quite a bit of history (because idk whether anyone knows much about this), so the key thoughts will be bolded!

My thoughts are kinda complicated about this tbh; it’s weird, because if China really did exist as a personification in real life, we’d probably both be judging each other, just for different reasons 😅.

General Hetalia Cases

I think when discussing immigrants/diaspora, you have to think about why different immigrants left. @cupofkey kinda discussed that a while ago (if anyone hasn’t seen this superb post, GO READ IT NOW) about the Vietnamese diaspora, and I think there’s some of that in every country. How do the immigrants feel about the home country? Why did they leave: because of hard times, poverty? Political instability/revolution/war? Opportunities overseas? Are they doing well in their new home, or still struggling? Does their new country treat them like foreigners or outcasts, unworthy of even arriving, or doing anything besides menial labor, or have they been welcomed (rather unlikely)? Do they hate their home country (politically), or miss them? Would they ever go back, not just to visit family or the place of their birth, but to return permanently?

I think on the whole, hetalia nations would still maintain a connection to their immigrants, especially since most are still in touch with their culture, although they’ve crossed borders or changed nationalities. (However, the angst of not being as in touch with your culture as you think you should is so real; would our home countries be disappointed? Or do they sympathize, somehow?) In the end, we’re all the same that way. Plus, the alternative thought of them just disowning immigrants feels weird; I don’t even know how that would be possible. But I think that connection gets complicated by the reason people left, and their feelings for their place of origin; I’ll be using APH China and Chinese Americans as an example to discuss this hksdgsdf (sorry I don’t want to do more research than necessary and I have Thoughts about this)

**OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER that immigration/diaspora discussions are almost always case by case and will vary greatly based on things like country of origin/race/ethnicity, country immigrated to, initial socioeconomic status, time period, etc. And even among diaspora, people can and will have vastly different experiences, and it’s not good to generalize. These are just some thoughts with one example.**

1. Waves of Immigration 

Depending on when people arrive, they’ve got different push/pull factors drawing them to a country and it also factors into how the nation feels about them and vice versa... Chinese immigration to the US has mostly two major waves (you could also say there were 3, counting the post-WWII/Communist China wave, but I won’t talk about that): one in the mid 1800s and the other after the 1970s/1980s into modern day; the gap is because the Chinese Exclusion Act (1882) that banned most immigration from China wasn’t repealed until 1943 (because of Japan’s attack on the US in WWII, the US needed China as an ally).

IMMIGRATION WAVE 1: MID 1800s

These immigrants were mostly from southern China (Canton area), and they came to the US because of hard times (Opium Wars + political instability because of things like the Taiping Rebellion) and economic opportunity in the West (eg. Gold Rush (San Francisco is literally “Old Gold Mountain” in Chinese today) + industrialization, railroads, expansion etc.). There was Much Discrimination against those immigrants, and many worked as hard laborers in a variety of occupations (on railroads, gold mine, farms (in the South esp), laundry businesses; there were merchants as well, but they were the minority); many were looking to get some money that they could send back to their families in China and planned to return, but over time, they settled down and stayed. I think for those immigrants, Yao would definitely be understanding, even if he might not be empathetic. After all, he’s not thriving at that time either, and although he thinks Alfred is inferior to him (in many ways), he understands why people would be drawn by economic promise and quick wealth, even if it might not be the best strategy for getting rich. It’s not like staying in China would be better lmao. However, I don’t think he would approve (?) how many of his immigrants stayed in the US when most viewed it as a temporary move; I think Yao is very surprised by how so many of them persisted to carve out a home there, despite the discrimination and limited opportunities. Perhaps he admires their resilience, the creation of Chinatowns and community and how they still come to a country that doesn’t even let them in (see the San Francisco Fire of 1906 and the boon for paper sons), but still wishes they would come back, however unlikely that hope is. Personally, Yao would never be able to stay in Alfred’s country, the beautiful country, if Alfred’s hypocrisy prevented his experience, his immigrant’s experience, from being anything close to beautiful. (You were founded by immigrants and foreigners, but now you spurn them: the poor sojourners who continue to flee to your shores, and refuse them respite from the disasters at home.) And anyways, Alfred is just the next scrappy young upstart, barely 70 years old but with a swagger like he rules the world; how could he have something over himself, the Middle Kingdom, who has stood the test of time? (Admittedly, he’s doing nowhere as well as Alfred—even he can see that, despite his pride, and despite the haze of opium in his brain. Leaving is the logical, objectively sound choice. Still, his pride hurts vaguely when he thinks how his immigrants keep choosing a country that keeps rejecting them, over and over again, instead of himself. But it is no matter. The injury to his ego is inconsequential and easily brushed aside; for they are still his people, and they deserve a good life, wherever they are. His distaste for Alfred flares up again: Arthur’s bastard child, who takes advantage of his trade (see the Open Door Notes, 1899-1900), but refuses his people.)

if anyone wants more context or is interested in the history I mentioned, I highly recommend this pdf (from the book A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki)

IMMIGRATION FROM 1949 TO 1980: according to Wikipedia, there was very little immigration from mainland China during this period due to the Cold War and China becoming Communist; most of the immigration was from Taiwan/ROC but counted in the quota for China. Since there’s a separate Hetalia personification for TWN, I’m not going to go over that. However, there were also many people from Mainland China who escaped to Hong Kong, still a British colony, during that period (I hope it’s clear why, but if anyone asks I’ll put it in a separate post); some stayed there, while others emigrated to the US; both trips were for more freedoms and a better life etc because China was really really messed up for a bit (also keep in mind the people emigrating all had the means to and were at least middle class, usually somewhat educated, etc.). I will not be talking about that group either because I don’t think it’s my place to, but please know they exist as well.

IMMIGRANT WAVE 2: 1980s ONWARD

A lot of people came from mainland China for education; there was also an. exodus of intellectuals following 1989 (which I Will Not get into). Many of these people sought job opportunities, like those that rapidly opened up in the computer industry, there are many students who come here to study abroad, who take SATs and TOEFLs to get into good US colleges or to conduct graduate research and get PhDs; some stay, others have gone back to like, advance China’s development (this sentiment of getting good students to go abroad and then go back to China to use their talents for Patriotic Purposes isn’t a new thing, stretches back to like the late 1800s). I don’t really have much to say about this group besides what’s below ↓. 

2. Immigrant Thoughts On Their Home Country

more complicated, because it varies by generation and time period and probably 203943 other things. Mainlanders that came over starting in the 1990s till now have relatively positive feelings towards China (imo, extrapolating from my life experiences); I think part of that is also because most* of these immigrants aren’t really escaping from something? They’re coming for an education/job opportunities (students studying abroad in the US (留学生 or liuxuesheng) for graduate school or university come to mind as one example), and they’re still very much connected to China politically and culturally, sometimes* more so than to the US. For these immigrants, I think Yao doesn’t worry too much about them? They’re pretty successful* overall*, and discrimination, although still A Large Problem™, isn’t the same from stuff that Yao (or his immigrants) remember from, say the mid 1800s (see above), or even during the paranoia about Communists after WWII and the subsequent Chinese Confession Program that made many people really scared of being deported. (Red China made Chinese Americans a target of the Communist panic, and the confession program was instated in order to make sure Communist spies couldn’t infiltrate the US. Those who immigrated illegally could confess that and gain citizenship; however you also had to weed out everyone you knew who also immigrated illegally.) I think Yao would see them as an extension of himself in a different land; they’re very much still part of him, and he gives them his well wishes.

However, I think that immigrants born in the US in modern day at least (1990s onwards) are definitely more ambivalent about China’s legacy + modern day Issues™, as much as we are connected via culture and heritage. Not quite sure how Yao would feel about that, because I’m not quite sure how much Yao is the state and how much he represents the people. However, I think there would be some mutual unease; does he see this as betrayal of some kind? Perhaps he doesn’t blame us for feeling as we do? Maybe he wonders what we feel about him; maybe he doesn’t want to know. Maybe he chooses the easier route: to focus on the bonds between him and his huayi instead of the grievances, and leave the rest unsaid. 

Additionally with first gen immigrants, there’s the conflicting feeling of being stuck between two worlds and value systems that oppose each other in many respects. Also there’s sometimes a feeling of not-quite-being-in-touch-with-your-culture (in other diaspora as well, ofc. here it’s often exemplified by forgetting or not knowing how to read and write Chinese proficiently, among other things 🙃); idk. does Yao see that as a bit of a disappointment? Would he wish us to try harder? Does he view it as inevitable, for those raised in the US; the environment is too different, and perhaps he won’t blame us for those differences, or shortcomings. Does Yao know, or care, about the racism? What about his immigrants who try to assimilate completely into American culture, who try to erase the Chinese part of their identity? Those that have tried it, but regretted it? Are they still his, when they have tried rejecting their connection to him, choosing to drop the “Chinese” from Chinese American? Does he consider racism when thinking about them? What about international adoptees? Does he claim them, when some have not been raised in a culturally Chinese environment, and when it’s still a sensitive subject on both sides of the ocean? I don’t have answers to many of these questions.

There are also immigrants who fled China because of war or persecution or upheaval, (one example is with regards to the Cultural Revolution), but I don’t feel qualified to discuss it here, and I don’t want to take it lightly.

But, despite everything I’ve discussed above, I’d like to think that however an immigrant feels about their home country or however long they’ve been there, all nation personifications would still wish them a better life (even Yao). I mean, it’s not always easy being an immigrant/part of a diaspora (especially when race becomes a factor). I really don’t think any of the hetalia characters would say “look at your struggles. What a mistake it was to immigrate somewhere where you still face so many challenges, although they might be different from the ones back home”. that’s just No. Also, I think that when you disregard sentimentality and their inherent connection to the people, countries would still be able to sympathize with people trying to strive for better, you know? People immigrate for a better life, whether it’s because it was getting rough when they left or because other places had more potential, and like. although nation-people can’t leave their own country, I think they understand the people who do, because it’s a chance to make a new life, and it would be unkind, counterproductive, limiting, to prevent someone from taking that opportunity if it came. And their children, and grandchildren; they are still connected to their origins even in a new country, by blood if nothing else, and nations are people too; they must have some sentimentality for their people born in a different land. I’d like to think that if Yao met a Chinese American kid running around San Francisco’s Chinatown, or bumped into an ABC high schooler in a well to do Massachusetts suburb, he’d stop and nod and maybe say hello, and wish them luck, wherever they go in the future. After all, they are the products of his immigrant’s hopes and dreams, and they are his too, as much as they live in Alfred’s land.

* (asterisks): this is a) from my experience and research; not everyone will have the same experiences! please keep this in mind and don’t generalize a very vast group of people. :)

Idk if that was too sentimental or rambly or something, but yeah, those are some of the things I consider when I think about nations and their diasporas. If you made it down here, thanks for reading! I greatly appreciate it. Also I hope I got all my facts correct, but if anyone spots anything incorrect, especially regarding the post 1980s immigration wave, please tell me! Tried doing my research but there are still a few things I’m unsure about rip. 

This might be deleted tomorrow because I’m feeling weird about it, but feel free to reblog! I’d also very much love some feedback too if any of y’all are feeling up to it