#bc the oldest had cancer

[halfelven]

when i was like 12/13 i was hanging out with/kind of babysitting these 3 little kids ages 2 - 6. i guess i would say i was watching them. we were back in the woods behind their house and their mother was inside with the newborn. anyway the 4 year old girl was pushing for a linguistic shift that would remove the word ‘very’ from the english language and replace it with ‘berry’

except that she forgot she this shibboleth on almost every sentence and had to correct herself. ‘it’s a very long— i mean, it’s a berry long way home, and i am berry tired!’ it went that way with her almost always forgetting the berry the first time, but always correcting it. a berry high commitment level.

also she and her little sister (the 2 year old) would dramatically hide ‘inside’ my skirt by wrapping it around themselves like cloaks and hiding their faces. they could only do this one at a time (limited fabric) so they fought each other on who got to go first and i had to mediate the fights so they would fairly take turns hiding from each other. which you would think would defeat the purpose of hiding but since they would both refuse to acknowledge they could still see each other’s feet, it gave them a decent hiding place, except the 6 year old didn’t think they were actually hidden, so he didn’t want to play that version of hide and seek. also the 2 year old didn’t find it fair that she couldn’t run very fast so she had to go on my back for games of tag which the other kids didn’t find fair because it looked fun so they all had to be carried too as was only fair

[sapphicdancer]

i think my fav relationship is with my grandma who i am in good terms with but bc shes mean to my mom i dont like her but like i guess she doesnt know that and so she still treats me nicely, vs my sister who openly dislikes her and does not interact with her at all (but also i dont think my grandma knows why)

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey angels! I’m still on break but I wanted to show you guys how powerful the law is, and how it’s in effect with everything even when we don’t notice!

Here’s everything I’ve manifested in this year alone !

🌸70,000$ in school scholarships. My tuition does not even cost that much so most of it will be coming back to my credit card shortly

🌸an older sister. I’m the oldest child in my household, and as any older sibling knows it’s so hard. You have to lead, yet have no one to look up to for advice yourself. Anyways my dad got in touch with his old wife, and my mom who was once reluctant to let my half siblings in my life, now encouraged it! My older half sister is literally just like me. We now FaceTime, she defends me when I’m scared, she buys me stuff all the time because she has hella money, and I go to her apartment for sleep overs. I am very lucky and happy to finally have the older sister I’ve always wanted.

🌸an old friendship! I remember in 2020 I was friends with this girl and we were both super depressed, had similar circumstances, and were into manifesting+astrology. I’m sure she’s one my twin flame, and the friendship ended over the dumbest thing ever. Anyways for a year I used dumb methods like the 333 method, sp methods to get her to text me, stuff like that. I ended up giving up but earlier this year I was thinking about her, yanno just wondering where she is. She sent me a heart felt apology the next day. I manifested her without even trying!

🌸All As in school without trying.

🌸losing weight the more I eat. Y’all I’m 5’5 and 112 pounds, yet I eat like an Olympic gold medalists. I don’t even eat healthy and knowing myself.. well that’s something that’s not going to change lol. Anytime I would eat a lot, I would just say the more I eat, the more I lose and the healthier I am…and I never gained a single pound. Only lost! Don’t worry I’m still healthy and my doctors say I’m in a healthy range still, so as long as that continues healthily I’m fine.

🌸my family winning the lottery through the void state. I won’t say specific numbers but it’s in the 7 figure range, and was my first void success! I’m going to keep manifesting and exploring the void to have more stuff in the future!

🌸(dumb) but clearing my name in the unique situation. i remember just affirming the truth always comes out and she got exposed a few hours later. aside from the hate from her anons, I left the situation unscathed for the most part 😮‍💨

🌸not having seasonal depression this year. I did not manifest my depression or anxiety away for personal reasons, before anyone starts! But due to the combination of manifesting and just having a better overall life, it honestly did not affect me much this year.

🌸getting results from subliminals without even listening to them. I left my subliminal era a couple of years ago, and I don’t really use them anymore. But sometimes I come across a really cool one with dope benefits, and I want to use it bc.. why not lol. But I don’t really like listening to them, so I just wrote down that I can listen to it once and after that my brain memorizes the sequence and it works it out repeatedly even when it’s not playing and I’ve definitely noticed results.

🌸manifesting my best friend’s cancer away! I already made a post about this, but this was my favorite manifestation of this year.

🌸every single one of my shifts

🌸so many free things!

🌸and so much more, but these are my favorites!

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Jean Valjean/Javert:

One of the OG enemies to lovers. In the novel and musical, Valjean and Javert have complex, intertwined, and mirrored narratives which make them a fascinating ship to analyze. Also, there is a lot of hot fanfiction about them.

javert chases valjean around for at least 20 years because he broke parole and that's a big plot point. (jvj went to jail for bread theft if it matters.) considering how long that is and how much javert feels the need to do said chasing around that's kinda gay. also at one point javert is employed by valjean (except he doesn't know it's him and knows him as m. madeleine) and then asks madeleine to fire him. because he thought he was valjean and wanted to send him to jail even though he IS valjean. but some other guy got framed instead so it checks out and then WAY later on the barricades javert gets captured by a bunch of college students and valjean sets him free. this causes javert to have an existential crisis because 'OH NO HE'S A CRIMINAL BUT HE'S NICE TO ME' and then he kills himself. (also they have a very awkward carriage ride together. along with the unconscious body of valjean's future son-in-law. after valjean was in the parisian sewers and therefore covered in sewer water.)

what if i was an escaped convict and also the extremely benevolent mayor of a small jet producing town who broke into people's houses to give them money. and you were a furry cop trying to arrest me anyway. and then i save you from execution in the June rebellion and you realise that the police are not a symbol of justice but authority and being a criminal in the eyes of the law is completely separate from being a bad person. and this fucked you up so bad you killed yourself.

fuck those twinks in les mis these are the real finest gay love story victor hugo ever invented. javert literally followed valjean across france for decades because of his psychosexual obsession with recapturing him. valjean had the chance to kill him and spared his life, thus jump-starting javert's entire emotional arc. they're deranged and obsessive and they should kiss on the mouth

javert threw himself off a bridge bcs he was so mad the guy he was obsessively chasing was actually a good person depsite being a criminal theres gay ass old man yuri here

When you build your entire life around the existence of a man you despise is that still gay or do we need to invent something that transcends homosexuality. Asking for a friend.

fellas is it gay to spend your entire life chasing another man to arrest him even though all he did was steal a loaf of bread

Ravenpaw/Barley:

kitties who were outcast from previous groups they were a part of and find and live with each other. they are canonical mates even though theyre both dudes. they grow old together, but ravenpaw gets cancer and dies before barley (he lives to be considered old in warrior cats years). however ravenpaw wanted to be in the same kitty afterlife that barley will go to, so they can be together in kitty afterlife. barley is still alive though as far as we know and might be the oldest living cat in the series now. also i just think its funny to call little kitty cats "old man yaoi"

[nullarysources]

Evidence of surgical tumor removal in ancient Egyptian skull is 'milestone in the history of medicine'

Mindy Weisberger for CNN:

Cancer is often regarded as a disease of the modern age. However, medical texts from ancient Egypt indicate that healers of the time were aware of the condition. Now, new evidence from a skull more than 4,000 years old has revealed that ancient Egyptian physicians may have tried to treat certain cancers with surgery.

The skull belonged to a man who was about 30 to 35 years old when he died, and it resides in the Duckworth Laboratory collection at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom. Since the mid-19th century, scientists have studied the skull's scarred surface, including multiple lesions thought to represent bone damage from malignant tumors. Archaeologists regard the skull, labeled 236 in the collection, as one of the oldest examples of malignancy in the ancient world, dating back to between 2686 BC and 2345 BC.

But when researchers recently peered more closely at the tumor scars with a digital microscope and micro-computed tomography (CT) scans, they detected signs of cut marks around the tumors, suggesting that sharp metal instruments had been used to remove the growths. The scientists reported the findings Wednesday in the journal Frontiers in Medicine.

…

However, it's unknown whether the healers tried to remove the tumors while the patient was still alive, or if the tumors were removed after death, for analysis, Camarós told CNN.

Even ancient Egyptians agree: fuck a cancer

[thuviel]

My end of summer was so catastrophic and relentless that I genuinely don't even know how to begin processing everything that happened. I've just been clinging to whatever small piece of survival instict I have and kept going nonstop. Like imagine the average amount of life disasters you'd usually have during 5-10 years, and put them within just a few weeks. That was my summer :')

Seriously, in the span of 3 weeks:

My grandpa died

My grandma's cancer progressed to the point where they stopped her treatmet and she was moved to palliative care

I got covid so I had to postpone my top surgery that I had waited for for half my life

My uncle had to have life saving surgery (he made it)

I lost my home bc it wasn't safe for me to live there anymore, forcing me to couch surf for the past two months

Lost one of my oldest friendships

Had just gotten diagnosed with a genetic disease that will cause constant chronic pain and disability for the rest of my life and trying to accept and process that fact

I think the next few months will be very rough as I will get hit with the aftermath of this unbelievable amount of stress and start to process the several types of grief I'm going through. I would never have made it through if not for some incredible people in my life, friends and family that have gone above and beyond to help me in this crisis. I just moved into a new flat and hopefully things will calm down now. But creators I'm fucking exhausted

[bloody-fate]

tagged by @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints and tagging @phantom-kitten, @berserker-gene, @hellonursevenus, @soft-lunar-rose, @booger-sinclaire, and anyone else who would like to play!

Do you make your bed?

No, life's too short to worry about that or anyone who judges you for not!

Fave number?

probably 77 or 25, this last road trip for work made me realize I'm either an amateuer numerologist or maybe mildly OCD because I'd rather keep the stereo, cruise control, and AC at a number that "feels right" than something more practical

What’s your job?

Coast-to-Coast Construction Goon! In a lot of ways, it's my favorite job I've had so far, but being on the road for weeks can be excruciating. Every job is something new in a new place, so it's hard to get bored, but there's way worse things than being bored such as missing your cat.

Go back to school?

At this point, I don't know what I'd go back for. Def don't have the time or the money but cosmetology school may be cool. I got 3/4s of a journalism degree before seeing the going rate for a magazine editor being a $500 a month stipend and realizing I made that working stoned overnights at IHOP in a week, but! you don't need to go to school to learn something, you just need to go to get a degree and I definitely want to always be learning and growing and expanding my horizons. I believe that you start getting old when you stop being curious about the world.

Can you parallel park?

Oh yeah, spending the better part of your 20s delivering pizzas in Chicago will teach you lots of tricks.

Job you had that would surprise people?

Personal nurse, I guess? Did it through the state for a friend for a year while they were recovering from cancer. I guess it would be surprising only bc it's one of the few non-food or customer service gigs I've had.

Aliens real?

Statistically they have to be, but I don't think they built the pyramids or anything like that because we don't give them any good reasons to stick around and hang out. I believe everything in the world is magic and science is the process by which that magic becomes mundane and that aliens, cryptids, and other paranormal stuff is just stuff we don't have the tools to figure out yet.

Can you drive stick?

I get it in theory but never tried outside of Ridge Racer.

Guilty pleasure?

You're supposed to live life guilt free and seek pleasure in all things, hope this helps!

Tattoos?

Got a lot of em, one of my oldest friends from back home learned how to tattoo on me and is now a bigshot international tattoo playboy. Money was really tight for a few years and now my guy and I are too busy to coordinate an appointment, but I used to go at least once every month. Still got some pieces and spots I wanna cover. Last one I got was a beholder above my left hand!

Fave color?

Purple for so many reasons! It's my mom's favorite too and I love the smell of lavender, love seeing it in flowers and other natural things, love Prince and grape flavored anything!

Fave type of music?

Any and all, but punk has always had my heart and soul. Been going to punk shows since I was a wee babby and worked at multiple record stores, so I'm insufferable. The guitarist from Melt-Banana is probably one of the greatest living musical geniuses. Finally gave The Cramps a fair listen and I really dig them. Also this account believes Utada Hikaru is a living legend! Revisited Godspeed You, Black Emperor recently and I think they're one of the most important bands to ever live. Lately been digging Teengenerate, The Osees, Slowdive, Show Me The Body, and the new albums from JPEGMAFIA and Clairo! Send me your fall playlist and I'll send you mine!!

Do you like puzzles?

Not like putting pieces together picture puzzles, but I get a kick out of riddles and word puzzles. Had a coworker at the pizza place who knew a bunch off the top of his head and I got pretty good at figuring them out. Also sometimes my job feels like a less lethal version of a Silent Hill or Resident Evil puzzle so there's that.

Phobias?

Heights, flying, I have a reoccurring dream of driving up a really steep and narrow bridge that just ends before I can see over the top of the curve and I go over the edge, so I get real nervous and quiet when driving over them in real life in case the dream is prophetic.

Favorite childhood sport?

Skateboarding? not really a sport, but I have asthma what do you want from me? my friends in high school also had this game called Dodge the Bat we'd play whenever we were walking around the neighborhood where you'd take a metal bat and yell "DODGE THE BAT!" before throwing it at a group of our friends and everyone would just scatter. Even less of a sport.

Talk to yourself?

Constantly, though masking in public has helped a constant self-mumbler like myself look way saner lately.

Movies you adore?

So many! The Shape of Water is probably my all time fave and Guillermo Del Toro probably my favorite director. I have a list on my phone of Lucca Certified Horror Bangers. Most recent addition is Profondo Rosso (Deep Red for all you non-guidos out there) after watching it on @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints 's rec and being totally blown away! Must consume more Argento.

Coffee or Tea?

Coffee for the fuel, tea for the taste! Love an iced matcha from Dunkin, current favorite tea is Constant Comment but it changes all the time. I always make a lemon lift + constant comment iced tea in the morning in the once in a blue moon instance work is having me stay at a hotel that has both tea bags and a working ice machine.

1st thing you wanted to be when grew up?

Video game QA tester but really only because I thought it was the only job where you could get paid to play video games, but my years in the work force have shown me you can get paid to play video games at any job if you're sneaky enough.

[roykiller07]

crappy art dump bc i feel the need 2 establish me and my friendy's ocs on this platform bc im probs gonna end up posting about them a lot and i love them and i will make everybody on earth love them also

open for sillies :3

darleneee!!!!!!! my silly this drawing does not do her justice but she is a 13 yr old lesbian (she/her) and 🔥suthern. she is thr coolest oc i have ever had any part in creating and her lore consumes my mind daily and i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure containing myself from infodumping abt her and the rest of them all the time until the comic my bestie and me r making w them starts coming out but im posting this oc stuff here on purpose to motivate myself to actually draw it by summer so u guys will not be safe for long. shes a virgo 💖

starria delaunchey my sweetie pie her design has actually developed a lot since this piece she has completely different hair now and all sorts of stuff i mean i dont think she even plays hockey anymore but the essence remains the same 💗she is ALSO a 13 yr old lesbian (she/they) and she and darlene r in a long term loving relationship so get ur starlene fanart started asap pwease and thank yew. if im gonna list the zodiac signs for all of them then starria is an aquarius.....

fun fact she is the oldest oc of all 4 she was the very first to ever be created !!

matty! matisse! mat! he is stars half brother and they are bffs and he is the most peculiar fella on the planet and is lowkey my fav tied w syd but i practically never draw him bc i am like. intimidated and so bad at replicating what we actually want him to look like😞 i have no clue bleh but hes the one with the full torso and hes a sagittarius like meeee!!!!!! hes 13 too and a transmasc aroace with he him pronounce

this is syd my stupid idiot i love her w all my heart.same thing as matty i have barely ever drawn her ever bc im like scared to but shes basically leonardo ninja turtle 2018 if he was mikey batman vs the tmnt edition and also donatello 2023 all at the same time (very normal points of reference yes). his only flaw is hes a libra

he is a 13 year old bigender bisexual (she/he) and also btw every single one of them is autistic because we can

WE ALSO HAVE MIN!!!!!!! shes the best character but i have literally almost never drawn her ever let alone RECENTLY with a REMOTELY up to date design so the only information yall get about her is shes a cancer

the comic is called honeysuckle and/or cheriton creek bc we changed it recently but we still tend to refer to the overall project as honeysuckle so oh well deal w it

BE A FAN NOW (pointing gun)

[jamethinks]

Phone broke so we have to go to town to get it fixed hehe. More importantly Martha and Henry headcanons bc they're my favorite ship

Henry did get married as we saw but he did eventually grow to love his wife but more as a best friend if anything. They had five daughters together and the youngest is barely out of high school. They all (with the exception of the youngest) got married, moved overseas and had kids. They all attended Eden and very imperial scholars of course. The youngest is being cared for by the oldest. The second oldest passed as a child (as most kids born in the 30s did) and then the mom passed shortly after the youngest was born (late stage cancer).

Henry loves his family and cherished his wife. They had good relationship even if it wasn't a very romantic one. He I'd also very close with his daughters and granddaughters and corresponds with them regularly.

Martha on the other hand had a bit of a rougher time. After the war she got married to a commissioned officer and she genuinely loved him and was able to move on from Henry. During WW2 he went to war while stayed in Ostonia to work for the Blackbells as part of their elite security team. Unfortunately, he did end up dying and she gave up oh love after that. She continued to work for the Blackbells, specifically with Becky's dad who had grown very attached to her.

Technically her actual job is as his personal bodyguard but he also has her looking out for Becky. Martha actually planned on retiring before Becky but after her parents got divorced and Becky's mom left she decided to stay and help. She never had kids or her own but she does support her relatives even helping one get into Eden.

Henry started hanging by the school gates in order to catch a glimpse of Martha when she would pick up Becky, and awkwardly try to strike up a conversation. He was eventually able to get her number and then called her every night just to say good night. Martha can tell he's trying to start something but she's choosing to ignore him and trade him. She constantly refers to him as her former professor teasing him for calling her his student. Even when he's a bit more direct with his flirts she responds very curtly and even scoldsfor being inappropriate.

Bonus: Martha didn't realise how thought she was dead or that Henderson never found out she lived. So one day while taking papa Blackbell to school she ran into him and greeted him so casually. Henry went pale and fainted immediately because was fully convinced he saw a ghost. His wife the scolded him because she did tell him he just ignored her.

Bonus: Henry is constantly trying to hint his that his wife died 15 years ago and he's completely available but she keeps ignoring him. And all his daughters (sans the eldest) love Martha and are Aldo desperately trying to hook them up.

Used the swipes feature on my keyboard to type this so tomorrow I will have to check for typos hehe. Good night.

[annieisyourfavourite]

okay i finally have the time to write out an explanation of what all has been going on with me the last like, month - all the stuff i've been alluding to. this is gonna be real, real long, so story time is under the cut.

so some setup. i lived with my parents until just a few months ago. i moved out and now live with my oldest brother, sean, and his 2 (well, it's 1 now but at the time) dogs. at my parents' house, it is my mom and dad, my little brother luke, his fiancee, and my paternal grandmother who we call baba. my parents also have 4 dogs.

baba was living on her own in serbia, but she had a stroke in february, and since my dad is her only kid, we took her in. baba has a lot of needs, and so my brothers and i have been urging them to get her into a nursing home. but for some reason my parents aren't doing this, despite the fact that it would improve everyone's lives tenfold.

because see baba? has been abusive to my dad and to us for his whole life. she has some trauma-induced mental illnesses that she doesn't like to treat, which means she often isn't in the same reality as everyone else. i say this not to imply that mentally ill people are abusive. but rather her mental instability is a big factor in the way that she acts and treats people. and also, if she wasn't mentally ill, my father would probably never speak to her for all the abhorrent things she's done. he can already barely stand her, and his anger issues and trauma responses have become very intense since she's been around.

i also have been abused by baba, and so i have told my family i won't engage with her as much as possible. it was hard when i lived there. but since moving out, i've said i refuse to babysit her or be her caretaker, since i can also hardly be around her without losing my shit. i've told my parents this. when she starts ranting about her paranoid delusions, i can't handle it. if she starts getting upset, i can't handle it. i remember her locking us 4 small children under the age of 12 out of her house when she was watching us because she thought we were annoying. i feel very unsafe around her!!! very bad!!!!

so! the reason all this is relevant. is that my whole family, save myself and baba, just went on a vacation for 2 weeks to the british isles. we've known about this trip for a long time. and i set up with my oldest brother that i would watch the 2 dogs at our house while he was gone. my other brother matt, who would be joining them later, was to watch baba and the 4 dogs up there. except. i learned like 2 weeks before they left. that matt couldn't do the weekends and the end of the trip. so there were 8 days total out of 14 that he wasn't gonna be there (bc matt sucks but that's a different post). so my mother calls me. and says they need me to watch everyone during those times.

at first she had told me it was 1 weekend (like saturday and sunday) and that was it, and i agreed to it even though it sucked. but then after revealing how much it was, i started saying no, i can't do that, that's obviously too much. out of the 6 dogs, 2 of them are new puppies. and 1 of them was an old dog who was dying of cancer. the old dog also couldn't be in the same room as one of the other ones, because they'd try to kill each other.

so like. far too much for 1 person to try and take care of. i said no i won't, i can't. and my mom got so mad at me. i told her i can't psychologically handle being trapped in a house with baba for that long. she said "can't you just suck it up this one time?" i said that's not how abuse trauma works. she said "i can't believe you're trying to ruin our once in a lifetime vacation." i said i'm physically disabled and that is too much. too bad.

i kept trying to find some help. but the problem was, even if someone could watch some dogs, they couldn't do that AND watch baba. and vice versa if someone could watch baba. and i needed to be away from her. however the time for the trip came, and there was no one else to help. so my parents left! they said i don't care what you say annie, we need someone to take care of it, and if you don't, your dogs and grandmother will die without proper care.

so i did it!! because they knew i would do it if there was literally no one else. and i was begging them to try and help, try to understand the price this was going to take. my dad kinda did. but didn't do anything to help. my mom just thought it would be fine.

so for 2 weeks. i was in charge of old dying dog and puppy 24/7. and then sick baba and 4 other dogs for over half the time. on top of trying to do rehearsals for a show i'm currently in. and i couldn't handle it!! i suffered, hm. 10 mental breakdowns at least? so many dogs. so much chaos. so much cleaning up messes from the puppies because they're puppies.

i called my mom, having a breakdown, the first weekend because i was supposed to go to an event for my boyfriend's work, and baba was fighting me on the plan. it was a whole mess. i literally owe my life to kayla (@/modestclam) because she came by on her 1 day off from her 2 jobs to help.

during this time, i also had a job interview in the city because i'm unemployed. and when there. my car got towed. i'm pretty sure incorrectly, i'm trying to contest the ticket. but i was stranded in the city, disabled and alone, and i had to spend over $300 just to get to the lot and get my car back, which i simply do not have. it took an extra 5 hours.

during the last weekend, i decided to keep the old dog chloe at my house, and my boyfriend came and watched her for the 5 days i was at the other house, because i was worried about moving her. my goal had been to just get her to the sunday when sean was getting back. she was clearly sick and i knew she didn't have long. but i was trying my best to just keep her going til then.

so i'm in the psychological torture zone up north. i had to drive back to my house at one point to help give chloe a bath, because she had intestinal issues and got stuff stuck to her backside, and my boyfriend was freaking out. and when i got back? the puppies. also had intestinal issues. all over the house. it took me 2 hours to clean, with baba obsessively following me the whole time. i have at least 1 breakdown every day. i have to miss a number of rehearsals either because i couldn't leave the dogs and baba alone, or because i was so dead tired i could barely move.

during this time. my mom also texts me. that my grandfather's partner had called and said he was in the hospital. he had a fall i believe? and so if anything happened, even though he lives a state away, i would have to be on call, since i was the only one in the country at that moment. because i guess she wants me to have a heart attack at age 25??

my little brother luke got back on tuesday evening, late. (he flew into an airport in canada and my mom wanted me to go drive the 2.5 hours there, pick him up, and drive back. i told her she must be on crack to think i would do that.) him and his fiancee weren't feeling well, but they took over main dog management. i went home to chloe.

the very next day. my parents and maternal grandma get home. grandma hadn't been feeling well, so she was gonna stay with my parents for a bit. except. the very morning after they got back. she tested positive for covid. and everyone in the house was sick.

my mom calls me asking me to take grandma to the doctor to get paxlovid (which i had taken and it helped me). everyone in the house is sick and they need my help. my oldest brother sean wasn't even back yet, he had an extra like 5 days, so i was still watching his dogs. i didn't even get 1 day after the 2 weeks from hell to rest. my grandma ended up going to the ER and getting put on oxygen. she was there 5 days and wasn't allowed visitors. i had to call around and get her affairs in order for her to stay there. the sick household includes: my mom who is 62, my dad who is 59 and has a genetic condition that gives him a weak heart, my little brother who ALSO has that heart condition and had heart surgery just this year, his fiancee who has autoimmune deficiencies, and my baba, who is t2 diabetic and in her 80s.

so i was stressed, to say the least. and during all THIS, chloe, the old dog, starts taking a turn for the worse. i'm doing everything i can to make her comfortable and keep her around, cleaning up her messes, hand feeding her dinner, whatever i can do. i go out to celebrate a friend's birthday saturday, and it's fun, but the whole time i'm stressed for what i'm gonna come home to. since sean was getting in sunday night. just 24 more hours.

when we got home, she greeted us happily. i got her to eat her dinner, drink water, take her pills, and even gave her belly rubs for a while. she was doing well. we all go to sleep.

and when my boyfriend and i wake up that sunday morning, the day sean was getting back. we found her unresponsive, having passed away in her sleep next to my bed. less than 24 hours before sean would have gotten to see her again.

to say i was devastated would be an understatement. i loved that dog so much. and i worked so hard to get her to the end of the trip. i used all my resources, i did everything i could. and she died in my room the same day my brother came back, before they could see each other. my heart? broken

luckily at this time i had family back, so my dad and luke came to put her in the box and deal with it, cuz i was well and truly at my limit. not a single day of rest in weeks. sean got home that night and the next day, we went up north at my parents house to bury her where we bury all our pets who have passed.

digging the grave was hard and miserable, because the spot we needed had a ton of roots in the way, and it was raining, and sean was limping bc of his bad foot, and everyone had covid, and it was just awful. i ended up doing a lot of work, even though i myself am physically disabled and very weak. my right arm and wrist still hurt real bad, and it's been 3 days since.

that night. THAT NIGHT!!!! THAT WE WERE BURYING HER!!! baba was delirious and coughing. she clearly had caught covid, as we knew she would. and covid really messes with her, especially her already frail mental faculties. she collapsed in the kitchen. so the following morning, my dad took her to the ER (after a lot of fighting from her). she was admitted to the hospital in poor condition. they think she has pneumonia. her bloodsugars have been bad for weeks, because we were waiting on an appointment with her doctor to up her meds. at the hospital they are giving her insulin (which she doesn't usually take?? irresponsible) but they can't get her bloodsugar down. which, when it comes to covid, isn't good. it's known that if you're diabetic, and you're admitted to the hospital with covid, and your bloodsugar is high? it's essentially a death sentence. your chance of mortality increases tenfold.

so i had to miss rehearsal again (this is where that post about my director being a bitch comes in). the director has also been making my life a living hell for this, punishing me for having all this going on. my part is like 7 lines, and yet she still is in my face constantly.

:-) so that's where i'm at!!!! my september has been such a blur of mental and physical distress, i'm surprised i'm still breathing tbh. i have therapy twice a week, and when i emailed my therapist the dog + covid update, he responded "holy shit." we've been trying our best, but he's like "the goal is to stay alive, please just stay alive, don't try to aim any higher." i just. don't have anything else in me, you know? i already was gonna need like a week to recover from the vacation stuff. and now with this. it's just like. how much is a person expected to take, you know? how much can a body hold before it falls apart? i'm hoping soon, god, please soon, i'll be able to rest a bit. but man.

it's been a rough fucking month.

[skruffie]

I'm literally just sitting here painting my nails (and typing this carefully bc they're still drying) and content in the beautiful ordinary life Alice and I have and I had a funny thought to just... do the math about the age I'm at now and what my parents were up to when they were my age. Rounding up because my birthday is in March so like. Close enough.

When they were 34 we had just moved into the childhood home of my most formative memories. I was in second grade. My mom found our cat, Karma, abandoned in the park two blocks from our house. Two years later was when Nicole got sick. Jesus god we really do just make it up as we go along. You're barely in your mid-late thirties and your oldest child gets fucking cancer??

I've never had an instinct to have children but sometimes I try to picture the hypothetical future where I have them and weird isn't the right word, but lately I've been realizing more and more that my imaginary children probably would look like Nicole. I'd end up terrified of having only one or having only two in case something happened. I never had the maternal instinct so I never really gave thought to how that would probably spur brand new fears for me if I tried to have a kid. God. 34 years old. I can see why my mom that first night in our house was like "I'm so happy right now."

Things here are stable. Alice and I have had kind of a rough several months and a really interesting start to 2024 but it looks like its easier from here on out. I've been getting over a cold (and I did test to make sure it was not covid) and got groceries yesterday for our little apartment and yeah. I'm so happy right now.

[fagcrisis]

NUCLEAR CORUSCANT????

*loops vode an* buckle the fuck up. this is really long and doesnt really make any sense

nuclear coruscant really came from that time i pondered energy sources in star wars, because they seem to only really exist when someone need to be thrown in some sort of strange shaft? sure lightsabers get their power from the kyber crystal, but thats not how this works really, i mean the crystal can focus light sure but it doesnt generate the laser! or the power required for it! or does it. if we assume the kyber crystal is an energy source somehow that explains a lot about the death star as well and its probably something force related which im not gonna go into rn bc this isnt about that, but if we take that as fact we still have to consider that

no one but the jedi have access to kyber crystals until the empire comes along at which point they take over that monopoly to do increasingly stupid shit that benefits no one

for a very long time even after the jedi order was formed kyber crystals were not known to them hence no lightsabers

nuclear weapons do exist in star wars! the mandalorians have used them during the mandalorian wars and they are hence banned, but obviously palps has used one bc hes evil like that. wookieepedia has a brief article about nuclear power and it was apparently used in the pre republic era. fusion reactors are also a thing in star wars altough i dont know what kind of fuel they use

so the only reasonable conclusion i can make that at some point in the early days of the republic alternative energy sources were integrated to the point where nuclear power is a legend of the past, although one mandalorians know of very well. mass scale destruction is not at all an alien concept to star wars so nuclear bombs are not especially unique there, but radiation is certainly something that would be difficoult to deal with. yknow. in general

coruscant being incomprehensibely ancient definitely had nuclear power reactors and i absolutely am sure that the nuclear waste was not dealt with correctly, making many areas on the oldest and deepest levels an instant cancer event for anyone who enters, and also mutating the fuck out of some bacteria . and other things.

stay with me here, but this ties in with my whole sarlacc thing, i really love sarlaccs. the sand people of tattooine have a legend (if youre planning on playing kotor please please please befriend them and listen to this story yourself) that the sarlacc gave birth to itself in the core of tattoine before the twin suns split in two, and will one day devour the entire planet and itself in the process, and this actually makes sense from what we know about sarlacc biology because theyre sort of plant-animal-fungus beasts? there are male and female sarlaccs but the actual reproduction happens via spores called sarlacci that drift through space until they find something they can latch onto and burrow down into and grow and feed and they dont really like, stop growing kind of like lobsters so at points in their lives they can be prayed on by things like the krayt dragon but after a certain point only natural disaster can kill them so theoretically a sarlacc could grow until it consumed an entire planet if left to its own devices

and this really is the natural version of how the city engulfed coruscant and so i think it would be super interesting if in the very deepest tunnels of the city an absolutely ancient sarlacc that planet itself there before the zhells and the taungs and before the jedi and even before the force stream the force is a living creature and also a parasite by rumini szajkó anyways and then coruscant grew and grew and less and less people ventured down to the sarlacc but it doesnt need to feed that often, right, and some type of creature will always live down there and people will always go back deep to find things of old or out of neccesity so its slowly growing and as the people flee ever higher it becomes a larger and larger part of the planet itself. coruscants core has gone colt so many generations ago theres just rock there. it can burrow forever

so what happens when a massive beast resembling a cave (but it isnt) grows and engulf a massive beast resembling a cave but it is a city slowly being abandoned as it grows too large to sustain and the heart of the galaxy moves away from it because the the republic falls and the empire is defeated and the fucking yuuzhan vong blow up one of its moons but coruscant stays. and the tunnels of the city rife with radiation become a part of the largest sarlacc ever to live

[browntrait]

Give me five facts about the OC of your choice, make them as long and obscure as you want I want the lore dump 🫶🏾

ooooOOooo....... imma do Josie bc lately she's been my fave gyal

she's an aquarius and her day is the day before valentine's day (which she hates). cancer moon like zenya, libra rising.

she's the baby of the family. in one of my oldest sims 4 saves ever, after i got city living i played w the jang family for like a year and a half, and they had 3 kids over the course of the game. billie ofc, they had a son devon and then josie. so she's born in game! she became my fave out of the three kids.

she's a perfectionist to a t, she has a very specific routine that she follows every morning, and she keeps everything around her organized. there was always so much going on in her house growing up, w/her two famous parents in and out of the home, her siblings being extremely social, she wanted to create a lot of order and stability in her own life when she moved out. once something (or someone *winks*) knocks her off her set path, she decides if being so rigid is worth it.

she's a professional model, she's been modeling since high school. she actually likes the work but it's not her greatest passion. she does editorial and runway, and has done SanMy fashion week for years.

her parents are jamacian and nigerian, and she's very proud of her cultures. curry chicken with rice and plantain is her favorite food, she could eat it every day.

[vacantgodling]

tit for tat: the character from witch noir i'm most obsessed with right now is angel. he just sucks so bad, but at the last minute he decides to try really hard!! for love!!! he's a cancer sun pisces moon pisces rising he's so sad and pathetic and full of love. he cries big ghibli tears and changes reality through sheer force of he believes in it so hard. he can't drive and his best friend is a cat. and he looks like oscar isaac.

now you 🔁

thank you for doing this i’m also now???? obsessed with him. cancer x pisces baby he’s so TINY idk i’m holding him i am kissing on the head i am giving him hot chocolate 😭 i’d love to know more about him?? how does he suck? how does he manage to turn things around? what’s his cats name??? i need to knowww

(also he looks like oscar isaac? i’m 👀 looking)

i randomly get into moods for stuff so like earlier i was going through my google drive with all my nonsense and looked back over my stuff for NAD and man i wish this plot would better reveal itself to me bc i love these characters. so much!!!

NAD rn is an acronym placeholder title for the actual wip itself (hopefully it’ll name itself… one day…) standing for the 3 povs that the story’s gonna switch through.

N is for Nyseah Nicoletti. she’s a trans femme nurse who is so. fucking. tired. she’s so damn tired. let her sleep. in her 30s and works the midnight shift most nights of the week and hardly takes time for herself, chain smokes to keep the edge off of how tired and irritable she always is. she wants better for herself but like ? how. getting the boob job was hard enough lmao. anyway tho, she’s given a respite from her misery one rare night off and she decides (for once) to go out. gets all dressed up, goes to a bar and WOW? a handsome man is actually?? flirting with her???? this doesn’t happen every day, what’s the occasion? they end up going back to a motel, fuck, and then nyseah wakes up alone. everything’s cool… until she opens her left eye. then SUDDEN PAIN!!! (i posted that excerpt here but she’s not having a god time). and well, come to find out she’s psychic now. but not in a good way. in a if you even think about using your powers blood is pouring from your eye type of way. ends up meeting some “escaped experiment” kids that she immediately adopts who are able to help her but her whole story is kinda. revenge for this dude who fucked her over like this bc it’s definitely one-night-stand dude’s fault (and this ain’t just a funny like. he literally caused this lol,,)

A is for Alona. a sweet, little air headed but doing her best! college student in her early 20s. she picks up a job at the largest and most famous (infamous probably) company in the city as a part time secretary and is living the good life, or is trying to! her coworkers are a bit standoffish at times but she’s pretty chill with the whole thing until one day for the first time she’s asked to stay on for the night shift. that night goes well, but she notices what looks to be a trail of blood coming from one of the back rooms she’s told not to go into and while she doesn’t that night the thought doesn’t leave her mind. she just can’t help but want to know more? somethings not right and well. she’s curious! (let’s just hope the cat phrase doesn’t come to fruition shall we).

finally, D is for PI Donte MacBride, the oldest of the bunch in his mid 40s. he really should retire from doing pi work but he has no other prospects or savings, so he just lives out his days in his little rickety shop/turned upstairs apartment (since he lost the last real place he had), shooing away those with hopes of him facing the cruel justice system on their behalf. he won’t, not anymore, he’s done with that circus. and he’s all but stopped taking on cases too until one day a very. very famous guest decides to drop by; an actor known only by his first name leonine. he comes by to request his services, claiming its only for closure as per don’s policy: find out who killed recently killed rising star, the singer roxanne davis, one of his dearest friends. and he makes don a monetary offer he can’t refuse—one that would set him for the rest of his life. so… despite the red flags about touching this case going off in his head, don finds himself taking on one last case.

as you can probably guess, these three stories intersect and the three of them are going to meet and realize they’re all on the same path to… whatever the fuck is going on here. but !! i have yet to figure out truly what it is aside from lil bits and pieces. fjfjfj i’m sorry this was so long haha.

[austin-cartwright]

statistics / pinterest board / bio / connections

ABOUT

Full Name: Austin June Cartwright

Nickname: AJ

Age/DOB: December 2, 1988 (34)

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Gender: Cis Female

Place of Birth: Providence Peak, CO

Neighborhood: Claret Park

Sexual/Romantic Orientations: Bisexual / Biromantic

Religion: Agnostic/Spiritual

Occupation: Wildlife Photographer for National Geographic & Travel Blogger

PERSONALITY

Goals/Desires: to find a way to have her wanderlust and her desire to put down roots coexist, get her pilot's license (she already knows how to ‘unofficially’ operate a helicopter but that’s besides the point), fall in love like it’s described in it takes two (“can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the moon, world series kind of stuff”), capture a photo of a believed to be extinct animal, play on an intramural soccer team, see *nsync in concert

Fears: whales, small dogs (was bitten in the face by a family friend’s pomeranian as a child- you can still see the scar on her forehead- and has done her best to avoid them since), confined spaces, mediocracy, becoming insignificant

Hobbies: coloring books using specifically crayola markers, hiking, yoga, learning new things (currently trying to learn the ukulele and is real bad at it), going for long bike rides, journaling, hand knitting

Likes & Dislikes: laughing so hard no sound comes out, a grass on bare feet, ranch dressing, the smell of coffee, the sound of running water (like rivers and streams), napping in a hammock, the smell of the ocean, kitchen restocking videos, watching a photo appear as you develop it in a darkroom, converse sneakers, extra large slurpees, warm blankets just out of the dryer // being rushed (especially in making a decision), prejudice, being told she can’t do something, the smell of gasoline, stagnant routines, dirty dishes lingering in the sink, room temperature water, holey socks, making a doctor’s appointment, toe rings, mustard

QUICK FACTS (quick is subjective tho bc idk how to tldr anything)

Trigger Warnings: cancer, injury mention

Born and raised in Providence Peak

Grew up in Claret Park before her family bought a house in Summit Lake when she was about halfway through high school

“Oldest” of six kids, though her twin brother will say that’s false since he was born 3 hours before her

Parents moved to Providence Peak from Texas (hence her and her brother’s names) for a fresh start and started Cartwright Construction together

Growing up, Austin was fully supported by her parents, even though they didn’t have a ton of money their kids were always able to pursue things they wanted

She started playing soccer in second grade because of Mia Hamm and instantly fell in love with it (she played center midfield)

As Austin grew up, the construction business and the family itself grew but her parents continued to live beneath their means and save up just in case things went bad- all while teaching all of their children how to be financially stable (though they did have family pizza nights every Friday, a tradition that continues to this day)

Took photography her freshman year in high school as an elective, bought her first camera from a thrift store, and fell in love with it (still has that camera and uses it)

She spent most of her time in high school focused on soccer, making the varsity team her sophomore year, and had plans to get a scholarship to a good school and the goal to make the US Women’s National Team

However, that goal was quickly made moot as she suffered a soccer career ending injury at the beginning of her senior year

That’s when she turned her focus more to photography, finding solace through her healing in taking photos and spending time developing them in the school’s dark room

Once she graduated, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life so she took what was supposed to be a gap year and, with her parents help, was able to make plans to travel around the world

So she set off on what she’d planned to simply be the adventure of a lifetime, a one time thing she’d be able to tell her future kids about- but it turned into so much more

She spent a few months traveling anywhere she wanted, hopping on trains and staying in hostels, until she found herself in Türkiye and with a man who took her breath away

He was a rising actor and their love story was a whirlwind. Instead of leaving to go to a new country Austin found herself staying, and a few months later actually moving to Türkiye and in with her new beau

She began to build a life there, exploring her new home and documenting that on her blog, “Austin on the Move”, while supporting her boyfriend and his blossoming career

4 months into her new life, she got a call from her mom telling her that her twin brother, Dallas, had been diagnosed with cancer 

So without even another thought, Austin came home, and much to her surprise her boyfriend came with her to support her and her family

The couple spent the next year or so in Providence Peak, with her boyfriend traveling between the US and Türkiye for his job, while Dallas underwent treatment

During his treatment, it was found that his best chance of survival/remission was a bone marrow transplant and Austin was more than happy to do whatever she could to help save her brother, so she underwent the procedure to donate

Once Dallas was in remission and Austin was sure he was okay, the couple moved back to Türkiya and her boyfriend’s career skyrocketed

Unfortunately, his success became to cause a rift in their relationship, where Austin was left at home while he traveled around filming and going to events

Eventually it all came to a head when Austin gave him an ultimatum- take the next step in their relationship or end it- and he chose to end it

So with a broken heart and bruised ego, Austin came back home once more

It was while she was home, grieving the life she thought she was going to live with a man who chose his career over her, that Austin found her passion for photography and nature again

She went out on an overnight hike in the woods in Bighorn Hills with just a backpack and her old film camera, trying to get her head back together and find some direction in her life again

Finding herself focused more on the wildlife around her than anything else, Austin found a renewed vigor for her future and after a night beneath the stars she slowly made her way back to her car and back home, excited to tell her mom about her newfound plan for her future

Funnily enough, some communication errors had occurred and her mom had called the police when Austin hadn’t come home the night before, she’d been in the middle of filing a missing persons report when Austin had walked through the front door

Once that mess was all sorted out, Austin spelled out her plan for her future with renewed vigor and excitement, and she hasn’t looked back since

She jumped into wildlife photography with both feet,  her tenacity earning her a permanent spot as a wildlife photographer with National Geographic all the while keeping her incredibly popular travel blog active

She’s come home for every Christmas and big family moment, such as the birth of her nieces and nephews, her siblings’ marriages, and the opening of her mother’s restaurant ‘The Pit’, but never stayed for long

She’s spent over a decade traveling, fulfilling her wanderlust and having some of the most epic adventures, but she’s ready to settled down a little bit now so she’s come home

Austin wants to find a way to unite the two sides of herself, the side that wants to fall in love and set down roots, and the one that’s been enjoying her freedom and her job while traveling around the world; and she’s come back to Providence Peak to do it

HEADCANONS

Is absolutely terrified of whales because of an interaction she had while on an expedition near Alaska. She was on a small boat and a humpback whale breached the water, nearly capsizing the boat and sending the small crew into the freezing ocean, upon reentry into the water. The whale didn’t do this just once, but three times.

Is very much a rip the bandaid off fast kind of girl. Doesn’t like to dwell on arguments or negative emotions, so she’s quick to bring things up and not let them fester. It can be jarring at times, but it’ll gnaw away at her if she doesn’t address it so she’s learned to try and smooth things out quickly.

Can be very opinionated and if she’s tired enough the filter that stops the intrusive thoughts from actually being spoken out loud completely disappears. 

Her favorite snack is cheese, turkey (deli meat), and crackers (Triscuits)

Austin isn’t afraid to speak her mind and is very outgoing, able to make friends in pretty much any situation, and can be a bit of a flirt. She’s great at advocating for herself and loves any kind of adrenaline pumping adventure. 

As evident in her job, she loves animals and is very patient in finding them to photograph- however she’ll also ask people walking their dogs down the street if she can take pictures of them so no one is safe really

Her family is super close and now that she’s home, she’ll find herself helping her mom out at The Pit while still taking trips to fulfill her job duties

Has nearly every single color of Converse shoes available, they’re her favorite outside of hiking boots

If you tell her she can’t she’ll do everything she can to prove you wrong AND unfortunately, can be manipulated into doing nearly anything by saying “I dare you”

[gr8whytehype]

U know today I just gotta tell a story 1 of such heartbreak that it killed who I use to be but also is helping give birth to the man I am transforming into in my life I always dreamed of find the woman that completed me my dad always was cheating on my mom ,mom never could hate him or stop loving or give up on him she took a lot of shit when I was 19 my older brother was short paralyzed chest down I was literally 3 ft away changed the course of my life and character for the worse I became heavily addicted to drugs when I say drugs I mean I've done every drug know in existence give or take 3 or 4 been everything from pothead to shooting heroin and pills for next 15 yrs I still am trying to find my purpose brother was short 03 dad tells my mom it's her problem runs off with a highschool sweetheart doesn't try to help or even offer just like that he was gone until 2014 when he was dieing of cancer see dad's family well they split anything that belongs to u B4 u even die he wanted to come back home to be with us ! Yea right they was taking his disability check ,and his meds partying on good stuff tryin to sell the rest he was helpless and no1 to trust except the woman he was married to for 25 yrs had 3 kids to in which 1 became handicap and he left her with plate so full of shit as bad as she was hurt she loved him u could just see it in her eyes she couldn't turn him away which me and my old man couldn't talk without throwing punches since I was 13 but I'm thankful she let him stay I learned some of the most important aspect of who I am I a brief 3 months old man died father's day 2014 wish I would have spent more of my life with him being a son instead of a enemy he had a lot to of knowledge I would need anyways that love that's I been searching for my whole life it feels like even thought I found once 2009 after shay was shot I lost my best friend so I found the needle and thought it killed the pain and if not mY e me found out I had a 3 yr old son that yri was a shit dad never around out getting high but I kept a good job and supported my son with 700 a month I. Child support boy is 17 and already 3 times the man I could ever be lost his mother 2 yrs ago I still think Nikki was making me be a dad got sober of heroin but still speed gots me I'm working progress but I have a bond with Trevor that I am thankful for he got my best genes lol thank God but 09 I met my daug myhter's mother and I fell head over heels in love for once I felt whole inside something no drug or anything had done for me but apparently I didn't notice her until then she I think held some hostel feelings for me over that wfee both were heavy drug addicts when met her just home from prison I think she wasn't even a yr out but she had to kids prior ú another dude within a month I get īhelpecared get them back under same roof lol mom CDChelped raise them there mom was known to disappear for long periods of time she had to love me somewhere she trusted me with her babis so love but çc be pretty much next yrs in a out almost destroyed me as I watched the person I love bc just lose all self love love and I am begging to regress , h

Beginn get5ing to lose hh hi uh be good I love stef she gav6e m6e marleena when u put Marvin my dad lynnlee her mom both cancer the took from atrking on reconnecting with Trevor my oldest and I got 2 Trevor's her son is also named trevor me and stef we wasn't meant to be I guess mm.,