#but like she didnt offer to go my sisters high school graduation

[sapphicdancer]

i think my fav relationship is with my grandma who i am in good terms with but bc shes mean to my mom i dont like her but like i guess she doesnt know that and so she still treats me nicely, vs my sister who openly dislikes her and does not interact with her at all (but also i dont think my grandma knows why)

[key-lime-soda]

Sumi Lore Professional Question One:

what's the game you've played that's affected you most? i feel like this'll be... inch resting :>

easy. Pokemon

played pokemon leafgreen when i was 5. instantly fell in love. my sister beat the main story cuz i was too young to understand battling, so i just did the post game. I sailed around the Sevii Islands and it was the coolest shit ever. It defined my definition of a good game forever.

Then my interests faded as i got into late elementary school. It was still cool, but not as big in my life. Me and my sister got Pokemon Black and it was definitely really cool (did revive my love a bit). but the post-game was kinda dry. we did everything extra that we could do without internet.

Then i got a phone in 6th grade. I was given the chance to listen to music whenever I wanted. But back then i didnt have a personality music taste, so i didn't know what to listen to. figured i'd try something random.

So, i opened up youtube and looked up Pokemon

i started by listening to the anime openings. sure they're cheesy but some of them are catchy. memorized all the words. then i branched out into the other songs from the show and eventually discovered a whole world of unknown pokemon lore. did you know that the japanese anime had full fucking albums of original songs for every season??? and they go hard too!

with this, i discovered youtubers. Truegreen7, Bird Keeper Toby, Woopsire, MandJTV, and so many more. This defined my middle school era. I had an art account on a different site and posted a lot of fanart. made a lot of online friends too. it was such a good feeling...

then my mom found out.

she was pissed at my art account for various reasons, and punished me severely. at that point i was so hurt about losing all my online friends that i couldn't bring myself to draw ever again. i ended middle school in a very messy headspace.

then highschool came arounf . still wasn't into it. felt like i didn't have the motivation to do much anymore. i reluctantly went to freshman orientation, and got to the club fair, where all the clubs advertise to the new students. and one club struck my attention:

Pokemon Club

for the first time in a long time, i was exited to do something. I embarrasingly hung around their booth way longer than i needed to. I stole like 6 of their fliers too. it finally felt like a place where i belonged. I attended (almost) every single meeting for my first two years of high school. i met my current best friends there. they were the ones to introduce me to ace attorney and yttd!!

one day, one of the presidents was telling me about how their PR was ditching all the meetings and never did their work. i offered to take over cuz i had experience making club advertisements. it went from simple posters to booth flyers to fundraiser ads. then she asked me if i was willing to design club merch. bear in mind, i rarely drew since the incident 3 years prior. but it was my job as PR so i faced my fears and did it. the merch was perfect, and everyone loved it.

the end of my 2nd year came the dreadful question: who would take over? the staff were all graduating and needed a new president.

they all chose me.... i was so excited (and nervous) but i was determined to do my best.

unfortunately, covid hit that very year. my entire 3rd year was online, and so was club. it went better than i expected. the president reached out to me and asked if i wanted to color for her webcomic. next thing i knew, i was drawing as much as i used to. she really helped me find that part of me again, and i'm so thankful. now i'm a college student majoring in graphic design and minoring in video game studies

and it was all because of pokemon

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Title: The Survivors

Gif credit @multi-goodness

Requested on wattpad

Taglist: @nocturnalherb16 @jesseswartzwelder

Warning: attempted suicide, abandonment all involving children.

"Trudy, I'm expecting a file. When it arrives can you let me know"? Hank asked as he put in his password on the key pad.

"Yeah". She said not looking up from her desk.

Hank went on his way and up the stairs. His team were at their desk working on the case at hand. Hank passed Jay's desk and something caught Jay's eye.

"Sarge"? Hank turned to Jay and Jay pointed behind Hank. Hank swifty turned and there stood behind him a four foot seven inch little girl with pigtails. She was in overalls, dirty ones. Her face was covered in dirt.

"Can I help you"? Hank bent down to the child's level.

The little girl didnt say anything and went into Hanks office. Like she was meant to be there.

"Get social services here and find her parents. Check the cameras. There has to be something". Hank told Jay as he went into his office.

"What's your name"? He asked as he took off his jacket. She was spinning in his office chair.

"Penelope". She said with a smile.

"Penelope. That's a pretty name. Where's your parents, Penelope"? Hank sat down on the couch, giving her space and letting her do what she wanted.

"They left".

"Left? Where did they go"?

Penelope shrugged her shoulders as she scrunched up her nose.

"Can I get you something? A soda"?

Her eyes light up. "Really"?

"Any kind you want".

"Pepsi. No. Cola. No. Pepsi". Penelope tried to make up her mind.

"Sarge"? Jay knocked on the door.

"I'll be right back, Penelope". Hank got up from the couch and went outside of the office. Penelope followed him. Standing right beside him with a grin.

Hank cracked a smile with a chuckle. "I thought I told you I would be right back"?

"You did. But I'm thirsty".

"Okay, will you go with Erin and she'll get you a soda and whatever else you want"?

Penelope thought about it for a second and nodded in agreement. "Anything"?

"Just dont go to nuts with the sugar". Hank warned Erin as Penelope held her hand.

"So why did a little girl wander into my station without her parents"?

"I got a plate number  and the car is registered to a Rick Ford. He's a dead beat junkie. He's married to a Scarlett Danielson another junkie. I've got their car on look out. So they shouldnt get to far".

"What else did the security tapes show us"?

"They just stopped the car and let her out. Probably on they're way to get another fix".

"Probably. Where are we will social services"?

"They said it'll be awhile. They're backed up".

Hank sighed, running his hand down his face. "Alright. I'll see what else I can get out of her. Maybe it'll help".

Hank went back to his office as Penelope and Erin came up the stairs. She was happy and giggling.

"Hi". Penelope came in quietly, with her hands behind her back and a smile.

"Hi. What do you have there"?

"Erin said this was your favorite". She put a can of soda on the table with a candy bar for Hank.

"It is. Thank you. That's very sweet of you, Penelope".

"You're welcome". She hummed as she sat down on the chair in front of Hank.

"How old are you"?

"Eight. How old are you"?

Penelope asked making Hank chuckle under his breath. "Old enough".

"Do you know where you live"?

"At my house". She popped the top of her soda and started to slurp.

"Do you know the address"?

"It's in front of a play ground. I use to play there all the time. But now I can't". Penelope sounds sad.

"Why cant you"?

"Bad people are after my daddy. So I can't go outside anymore".

"Okay". Hank got up from his chair and poked his head out the door.

"Places that have a playground in front of houses or apartments". He told Jay.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters"?

"No".

"Voight, I got a address but they could have easily moved". Antonio said from his desk.

"Alright we'll go check it out". Hank grabbed his jacket. Penelope got up from the couch.

"You're going to go with Erin, shes going to show you the station. Take some pictures and make finger prints. Okay"? Hank kneeled down in front of Penelope.

"Okay. You're coming back right"?

"Yeah, I'm coming back. I promise". He smiled with a broken heart for this little girl.

"Okay". She waved goodbye and giggled with Erin.

Hank and his team were on their way to the address.

They were crossing over the Franklin street bridge when Alvin stopped the car wheels squealing.

"We got a jumper". He rushed outside of the car. Hank called it in and got out.

They walked closer to the bridge, a young man was standing on top of the railing.

"Hey". Hank said softly.

"Stay back. Stay back or I'll jump". The young man was panicked and he was scared.

"You don't want to do this. Come down and we can talk".

"No, theres talking. I have to do this. I cant live like this anymore".

"What cant you live with"?

"Just go away".

"No. Tell me why you're on there about to jump"? Hank inched his way towards the railing.

"I hate my life. School is hell. Everyone hates me. I can't go a day without getting picked on or beat up. I get shoved into the lockers. I've had four broken arms and no one has done anything to stop it. This is the only way". The young man was about to jump.

"Woah. Dont do it. If you do this then you let the bullies win. You wont be able to show them that you're better than them. That you weren't torn down by them. They meant nothing. You are young, you have so much to see in this world. Theres so much life in you that you will never be able to explore it. Trust me. There's greatness out there and you will want to see it".

The young man started to sob. "I cant take it anymore. No one will care".

"I care. I dont want to see you lose your life over this. I understand that high school is hard and people are evil. But that's why I do what I do. I help people that are going through what you are going through now. I will help you do whatever you want to do. Whatever it is I will be there beside you every step of the way. I know theres something in your life that you want to do".

"There is". He sniffled.

"Tell me, what do you want to do"?

"I want to be a cop, like my dad and my grandfather".

"Then let's get you where you need to be. I'm Sergeant Hank Voight of the intelligence unit of Chicago police department".

"I'm Calvin Matthews".

Hank held out his hand for Calvin to take and he took his hand. Hank pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad I got to meet you Calvin". Hank said as Calvin sobbed into his chest. Relief rushing over them.

Hank promised Calvin that he'll help him out and be there for him after he gets the help he needed.

"You saved two kids lifes today, great job Hank". Alvin patted Hanks back with a smile.

"Yeah". Hank said with a sigh as he got back in the car heading to Penelopes address.

They arrived and found that her parents skipped town. Leaving everything behind, except for their needles.

"What are we going to do about Penelope"? Jay asked as Hank and Alvin walked up the stairs.

"She okay"?

"Yeah. Social services doesnt have a place for her".

"She can come live with me.  I have extra space. A good school district and she needs a good life".

"You sure"?

"Yeah, just tell them shes with me". 

"Alright". Jay walked back to his desk.

Hank walked into his office seeing Penelope sleeping on the couch. He smiled and went to pick her up.

"You came back"? She said sleepy.

"I told you I would. Now let's go home". He carried her to his car and drove home. Where she slept peacefully for the first time in years. Hank felt his life was complete now. He had a great job, a great team and friends, now a child that needed him to be there for her. He even kept up his promise to Calvin.

Five years later

"Come on, Penelope. We're going to be late". Hank called up the stairs.

"I'm coming dad". She came down the stairs.

They both hopped in the ccx ar and drove to the police academy. Calvin was graduating. He did it, with the help of Hank.

"Congratulations, officer Calvin Matthews". Hank greeted Calvin.

"Thank you. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Thank you for believing in me when no one else did".

"Anytime, kid.  Hey, I have a job offer for you if you like"?

"Really"? Calvin said excited.

"You'll be working with the finest of Chicago. I'll be there with you every step of the way".

"Thanks, Hank. I dont know what to say".

"Dont say anything. Just go out there and be yourself. Give hope to people".

"I'll make you proud".

"I know you will, son". Hank said with proudness as he looked at the two kids he save that day standing right in front of him better than ever. Their  lives were completely changed because of him. But so was his, they changed him in many ways that he didn't know he needed.

[ghoestys]

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn 

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n)  age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS!  1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about 

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin. 

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit. 

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH! 

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff! 

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea. 

i mean. she was burnt out  but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more 

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit. 

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her. 

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something 

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god 

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to  them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves 

personality 

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic 

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion 

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really  dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it 

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about  nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk 

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :) 

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints  come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do 

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :) 

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

[gojos-eyedrops]

Perhaps The One Thing I Actually Regret

Disclaimer: trigger warnings include: depression, eating disorders and suicide. I guess PTSD as well even though its not explicitly mentioned, it is implied.

Hello, my (nick)name is Fry, I'm 23 and I'm a year away from graduating from Vet School. This information is important, I'm not just offering my presentation card.

So, quarantine *claps* the big amount of time I've had ever since...elementary(?) And ofc I've had plenty of time to do a lot of things I've wanted to do, as well as procrastinating others *avoids looking at the pile of unread books in my room* and pretty much my favorite hobby has been catch up on manga, watch anime I've had in my queue for ages.

This is where Haikyuu comes in.

You see, I used to play volleyball in high school. I did a lot of things growing up (horse riding, basketball, kick boxing) Volleyball was the one sport I did for the longest time and the one I enjoyed the most. At the time, my life what a shit show. School hours where the worst, I hated all of my classes, I was friends with probably the two most toxic people I've ever met, my self esteem was 8 ft underground, I had an eating disorder and at some point, I was suicidal. I am ot lying when I say I can hardly remember 50% of my time in highschool. (Chronic stress, man)

However, one thing I do remember was the time I spent training volleyball. I remember each and every face from the team, I remember which faces were good at what and their positions (I always sucked at names akdjsjf except for Patricia 😭💕 my first girl crush and coming out story, but thats another topic for another day), I even remember this guy I had a crush on who wasn't on the team, but his sister was and she she drived so he'd wait for her during her training before returning home. I remember the coaches and how they all were related (grandfather, father and son!), I remember getting crazy excited when i bought my first volleyball and knee pads. I still remember the entire 40 minute warm up, step by step.

Clearly, these two hour training, three times a week was the best part of my week during highschool. So much I actually had a generous lunch before training despite my eating disorder bugging me. I liked to train and actually hated it when my blood sugar got low and had to take a break from training.

Because of reasons, I couldn't keep going training and playing with that team (which was outside of school) so I decided to join the shoool team. The coach was this crazy strict woman, I never felt so fit in my life, her training was HELL and I loved it. However, in my last year of highschool, they switched coaches, and this new coach was an asshole.

I was a setter, and was the tallest girl in the team and also left handed. However, I was a terrible, awful, spiker. I could not spike decently to save a life. So all those three years I was a setter and/or defense. Until this asshole insisted that I became a spiker because I'm left handed. (If you dont know, left handed spikers are an advantage since all blockers are used to block right handed people, left handed players are always a surprise and is hard to adjust during the first minutes of match)

He'd constantly yell at me for my terrible spiking capacities (which i warned him of) and never allowed me to be a setter. I was a depressed and an angry mofo teenager, I left the team.

And since, I haven't joined a team again.

Now, university. You see, vet school is...not as busy as I'd thought. But I had all this burnout, I cut ties with this toxic people, and was trying to heal myself from all the damage I did to myself on highschool. I was antisocial and liked to be alone with my one friend, who's also a socially awkward mess. I had the opportunity to join the volleyball team and I didnt because I still resented this asshole coach.

And by the time I actually wanted to enjoy my university years, vet school had become busy enough. Not because of the homework (a little bit, yes), but because we were constantly visiting farms all around the state. I barely spend time on campus by this point (leaving little Miss quarantine aside).

So, I started watching Haikyuu, and kid you not, I felt this huge regret of not joining the team when I could. I somehow had burried all those good memories in my head and watching haikyuu made me remember why I loved volleyball so much.

I go out to the garden and empty street to play volleyball by myself, and sometimes with my boyfriend joins. Its very nostalgic and at the same time I feel really full and excited and happy. (And I am totally not crying while writing this ajdjsjf)

I should not have waited this long to watch haikyuu, and I should have joined the vb team when i had the chance. I still have a single term left (in case next term goes as normal) to do it, even if its for a single term, I'm gonna be very satisfied. (because my last term are professional practices, maybe I could if the doctor allows me to go training, the vet I already work at is a mile away from my school)

I rarely feel regret or remorse. I hate those feelings. I've always believed theres no point in regretting the past. Instead of letting those negative feelings make you feel bad, you should use them to sharpen your decision making and seek a way to make things better.

But this? I look back and realize I let an entire year (of enough free time at school) of actually enjoying what I like to do. Playing volleyball. And thinking about how the hourglass is slowly running out of sand makes me feel a little regret. Its time I'm never getting back. I let that oportunity slip like water through my fingers. It makes me wish I could turn back time and actually do something. Or tell Past!Fry to not be a whiny little bitch and go join the team despite liking her solitude and privacy.

I guess the reason why I am liking Haikyuu so much is precisely that emotional connection to volleyball and what it meant playing it. The memory of having to whole hours of me not worrying about my demons. Two hours in which I was completely able to fly freely. And I'm already crying way too much, I'm gonna stop writing now before I flood the room sjdjsnjee

Sorry for the long post, but this is something that has been on my mind a lot. Thank you for bearing my emotional rant.

[roleplcyheaux]

what did kelly do to you that was so terrible that person witnessed?

i’m assuming you mean the person who messaged amanda about me when you said “that person”? truth be told i’m not sure what that person witnessed because i’m not sure who sent that in. i spent almost 4+ years being friends with kelly and in that time span a lot of people came into the fold and left it and i don’t know all their stories. or what they saw in that time. i only know my own story and it’s long and convoluted but i’m gonna share it. before i do though, i want to say this isn’t a call out post. or well, it’s not meant to be one. i’m not a fan of cancel culture and i don’t believe anyone is beyond the point of redemption. 

i’ve forgiven kelly for a lot of the stuff that’s happened between us and i also acknowledge a lot of our problems were because i never was honest with her when she asked if things were alright. for the sake of keeping the peace and not starting drama i never said a lot of things. if anything i enabled her. that’s why i’m compelled to answer this question. it’s not my place to judge whether kelly is a bad person or not. it is my hope that she’ll read this and realize she’s capable of hurting people more than she realizes. it’s my hope that seeing these words come from someone who knew her for years and thought the world of her will make her realize that the stuff that’s being said about her isn’t just coming from bitter, fake woke, negative people who are making things up to make her look bad or evil.

it’s important to note that kelly was one of my best friends in the whole world. both online and off. i was 18/19 when i met her. basically just graduating high school and still impressionable and kelly was there for me a lot through those formative years. she made me feel accepted and loved in a time where i felt anything but due to another group of friends who exiled me for being who i was (a woc who practiced islam). literally for the first year or so of knowing her (and ace, kaisi, whoever else was in our friend group at the time) i was lying about my identity. essentially catfishing them to the point where i’d have a friend i knew irl send snapchats for me. the closer i got to them the more the lie i was living weighed on me. i tried to distance myself from them out of guilt because of it but kelly always reached out and when i finally revealed i was lying and showed them who i really was they accepted me.

they understood! it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and i was closer to her than ever cause i knew that since she had been so cool with it, that everyone else would take her lead and be cool with it too. that’s the thing about kelly, she has that effect on people. she’s so sure of herself, confident, full of life and people just follow her lead cause she’s charismatic. i knew that since she accepted me everyone else would and i could live my truth finally. after that i essentially felt indebted to her. i loved her. she was honestly like a sister to me. an older sister i wanted to prove myself to and impress. there were a lot of things throughout the time i was friends with her that could have been considered red flags that i ignored. a lot of things she did and said that didn’t sit right with me that i did nothing about. i always gave kelly the benefit of the doubt because that’s what she had given me. but that changed. there was really one defining moment in our friendship where i had my breaking point but even before then there were things:

she asked me to join a group with her as a twin to her nina dobrev and then got mad at me for plotting with people and began accusing me of trying to compete with her even though she’s the one that asked me to join the group. i immediately apologized for trying to steal her thunder and offered to leave the group. i remember messaging lana about it separately and being upset that kelly compared me to an rper we mutually didnt like at the time and who i thought was trying to compete with me on the dash and copy me.

there was an instance where i told a mutual friend that she ended up wanting to do a plot similar to one kelly and i were planning to do for our ship so we decided not to do it. no big deal right? apparently not cause kelly was furious at me for telling this friend this information for some reason? she made a big deal about it and told me she didn’t like people talking behind her back so then i became terrified of saying anything about her even in passing to someone for fear that she’d be mad at me about it.

i learned recently that she used her closeness to me and our bond to make that friend (the same friend from the bullet above) feel excluded. [SCREENSHOT ONE], [SCREENSHOT TWO]. this is someone who she introduced me to mind you. someone she encouraged me to get along with. she would initiate skype calls and then go silent on us so we would continue chatting, not thinking much of it. then later she would accuse us (only to me) of ignoring her and intentionally leaving her out. i remember apologizing for this even though, once again i had zero idea what i did wrong. i also remember that me & this person started to just call/talk to each other directly instead of in the chat cause we didnt want kelly to be mad at us for getting along. 

after that, kelly made a gc excluding this friend without their knowledge. Kelly asked this friend if everything was okay between them and they responded saying they felt a little shitty because they were being intentionally left out. after that, kelly blew up in the gc. she was so angry she left the gc. at this point, she didn’t know who in the fc had told this person about it and i was so scared that i literally prayed before i could message her to tell her that it was me. That night was so scary to me that i honestly don’t remember how the conversation ended, but we managed to patch things up by the end of it.

I recently found out from said friend that kelly knew it was me all along, which can only mean kelly pretended not to know to test if i’d really tell her or not?

this person eventually just cut me out of their life all together simply to avoid kelly. which meant i ended up losing someone who was becoming a really good friend. [SCREENSHOT THREE]. 

one time there was a plot involving my character’s family member. a plot, which was kelly’s idea, where ace’s muse would die. he was my muse’s twin brother. this plot was huge and i started trying to plan the aftermath cause my character would obviously be affected. only the closer it got to the plot happening they kept changing what would happen. one day he would for sure die. the next he wasn’t going to. etc. when it was set in stone he was gonna die i began plotting with other people based on this huge event that was going to happen

but then last minute they changed their minds and he wasn’t going to die but be in a coma. i don’t remember what my reaction was really but kelly didn’t like it and she messaged me angrily accusing me of trying to make everything about my muse and make ace feel bad about not wanting to kill her character. she said something about how i already had all these other plots and i was being selfish. i apologized and explained i was more than okay with micah living and that i just was upset cause i already planned things in advance but i could easily alter stuff to fit the new plot. at the end of that conversation i think i was more upset about how she approached me about the situation than the situation itself.

that’s something that can be said about all of the situations above. it was never what kelly was upset about that made me feel shitty. it was how she chose to talk to me about it. constantly it felt like when she came to me with an issue she was having that she’d either use ace against me to make me feel like not one, but two of my closest friends were mad at me or she’d come in with an energy where it felt like i was guilty until proven innocent. it wasn’t a conversation between friends trying to solve a problem. it was like defending yourself to a judge until the judge decided that you weren’t at fault or at the very least gave them the answers they wanted from you.

none of this stuff is really in order and i can’t be sure when this incident occurred but kelly apparently said horrible things about me and our friend to a person she invited to join a group we were all admining together. i didn’t find out about this until literally today after i already started answering this ask. [SCREENSHOT FOUR], [SCREENSHOT FIVE], [SCREENSHOT SIX]

i also witnessed kelly be unfairly judgmental over someone who joined one of our groups as her wanted connection. the closer i got to this person the more critical kelly grew of her and how she played the character. to the point where the girl could feel her hostility and constantly sent me messages inquiring what she had done wrong to make kelly hate her. [SCREENSHOT SEVEN]

eventually i decided to open a group with this person, lana, and another girl i’d gotten close to toward the end of the group i was admining with kelly & ace. 

this is what led to my breaking point. friends have disagreements. they have fights. and everything up until that point i easily got over because we always managed to resolve the issue and see where the other was coming from. but this fight wasn’t like the others. i had never ever in my life ever felt so hopeless and like nothing i could say would calm her down or make her see things from my side. she came in guns blazing in a way i’d never witnessed before. to the point where i literally got sick and threw up. all while being on a call with my fellow admins who were lost at what to do to help me. i’ve lived with anxiety my whole life but that night was when i had my first full blown panic attack. [SCREENSHOT EIGHT],[SCREENSHOT NINE].

after that i confided in ace. our mutual close friend. i said something about how i couldn’t understand how she handled when kelly got mad at her like this so well because i was falling part. i apologized for seeing the way kelly treated her and never saying anything about it cause i understood how it felt now. i want to say at this point ace was genuinely trying to comfort me and calm me down. she gave me advice. she said give kelly some time. even though kelly told me that ace was upset/mad at me too ace was being so kind and understanding and hearing me out. then, the scripted flipped. i dont know what was said between her and kelly but suddenly ace was against me as well. i was accused of trying to come inbetween them. and i distinctly remember being called childish for being upset about the fight in the first place which hurt me even more (i would provide ss for this too but i cant find them]. ace unfriended me on skype. i never responded to kelly’s last message. and we didn’t really talk for a year or so. 

we ended up letting bygones be bygones and accepted kelly into the revamp of the exact group she had been mad at me for opening. it was my honest intention to rekindle our friendship and leave everything in the past but i couldn’t go back to seeing kelly the way i used to. i couldn’t help, but feel like everything she said or did was suspicious due to our history. evidently, i wasn’t over what had happened between us and i still let her into my life again because i genuinely wanted to fix things. for stuff to go back to the way it used to be! and for a while we were all really good at pretending like it was but kelly would consistently do stuff that would drain me. mostly it just felt like once again i wasn’t allowed to have friends outside of her. she and ace always found something bad to say about the people lana and i were close to. 

kelly would constantly message me being “worried” about “stepping on toes” even after i would tell her over and over again that these girls had nothing against her. she accused one of sending her anon hate but provided no proof. after opening a group they accused the same girl and our close friend tee (who were both admining with us) of being competitive and bubble rping on the dash even though it had been ONE DAY. 

ace blindsided me one night asking if i was available for a call only to go on a tangent about these new friends. attempting to gaslight me by saying i was being “bulldozed” and how they knew i was so sweet and trying to make everyone happy and that these people were “taking advantage of me” it got so overwhelming that i literally sent lana sos messages cause i didnt know what to say or how to react until she joined the call to give me some sort of back up. ultimately that was what made me distance myself. it genuinely felt like even though kelly claimed to have changed we were still having the same problems. her approach was different but underneath the issues were the same. 

i spent a year finding my own path in the rpc instead of following her down hers and when we were reunited it felt like i was expected to fall back into place. to be the same girl who took her at her word and had blind loyalty. when i wasn’t that girl i felt like i was being manipulated into trying to become that girl again. i couldn’t do it anymore so i stopped responding to her messages. i have so many good memories with kelly. so many late night laughs. inside jokes. beautiful muses and plots and characters we created that i still look fondly back on, but i also know that she made me feel helpless, dumb. it messed with my head, made me question my own judgement, and brought out a side of me that i didn’t like. one that was paranoid, anxious, and desperate for her approval. she wasn’t a terrible person to me but sometimes she made me feel terrible and ultimately that’s why we’re not friends

[evphcriccs-blog]

i should have finished this before opening bc now im stressed but im: dumb! also im saoirse and part of the reason that this is so late is bc i got distracted by yoongi gifs!! but uh under the cut is info abt valentine and if u wanna plot hmu through ims or ask for my discord @ kiss emoji, peace hand emoji ,,

dumb pinterest // dumb connections

* ↪↪ min yoongi. he/him. cismale. ╱ i thought i saw valentine won getting questioned by the police. the twenty-two year old is in their third year at west bridge studying visual arts. they were at manon’s party because he’d never pass up an offer to get trashed. do you think they had something to do with her death? + ring adorned fingers, bad decisions in lieu of daddy’s affection, sex dreams during class.

my tropey spoiled lil rich boy who is just... chef’s kiss.... so disgusting (see: a mixture of chuck bass and joey tribbiani. h8 me for it.)

his father: owner of multi-million dollar hotel conglomerate. his mother: a well known defense attorney- they met when she almost sent him to jail uwu enemies to lovers uwu not that that matters besides the fact that, despite being married for almost 25 years now, its been a marriage of non stop pettiness, passive aggressiveness and arguing, as valentine and his 3 siblings have been privy too and are now all equally argumentative and volatile, valentine especially. haha volatile valentine . :/

valentine is the second oldest of the won kids, all of whom are at their core very similar, but beyond that very different; val is the Messy one. he grew up the favourite, his father seeing the most of himself in him as a loud, messy haired, muddy boy and brought him up as such; 

his father decided that val would be the one who inevitably took over his business and bring the family pride; teaching his son all he thought he should know. it wasn’t until valentine was well into his volatile teen years that he’d realized his mistake, that it should’ve been valentine’s brother or sisters, all of whom then looked infinitely more promising than this boy who had been bailed out of jail by his own father too many times for a seventeen year old and had been kicked off the football team for getting in a fist fight with the team captain.

so valentine, with all his fathers’ refusal to bow to authority and anger and high head and love of expensive silk and jewels was suddenly aimless, after being told for all of his life that he didn’t need to worry about making decisions about his future because it had all been planned out for him.

so after graduating high school (a year late because not even his fathers’ bribes and threats could save his abysmal academic standing) he became a layabout, leaving the house to party and showing up at a gross hour of the morning, sleeping all day so he could do it again the next night.

basically his parents got sick of it, told him to find a job or let them ship him off to university SO HERE HE IS but he didnt wanna go into business or law or smthing that would make them PROUD (YUCK!) so instead he went and began to study his actual passion  uwuwu

so now he’s here, guarded personality and decked out in the expensive fits he fell in love with- he likes the idea of being seen as the spoiled rich boy tho!!! bc it leaves NO room for people to know that hes actually a softie with very intense feelings and loves holding hands and cuddling and being the big spoon!!!! haha yeet? :(

i would write more but im already VERY late to this party and i just wanna plot ok pls i love u all 

[modernlcve]

*  —  stats —   colton thacker !

* — basics !

full name:   colton joseph thacker. nickname(s):   prefers none. age:   twenty - four. date of birth:   may first. place of birth:   barlow,   kentucky. gender:   male. pronouns:   he / him. sexual orientation:   questioning level of education:   high school graduate. recipient of a bachelor’s degree in history, currently pursuing his master’s.

* — physical !

tattoos:  none. piercings:   none. notable features:   his nose is distinct?  quite tall also.. didnt fact check that he just looks tall. weakness(es):   injured his left shoulder playing baseball in high school,  it never fully bounced back. scar(s):   one on the upper Bit of his left arm.

* — domestic !

occupation:   line cook at a diner.  ta. residence:  lives alone and lives humbly. social class:   lower middle class. parents:   jody thacker,  age 54,   works at the factory,  a strong and silent type  ( which makes it all the better when he gets in a good joke now and again ).   tanya thacker,   age 49,   a school teacher,   one of those nice church ladies that always has her nose in other people’s business. siblings:   kyleigh thacker,   his sister.   i picture them to be pretty close,   even if differently dispositioned. extended family:   large,   spread throughout his home county.   especially close with his paternal grandparents, farmers who are well known within the community.   two beautiful nephews he would Die for.

* — personality !

positive traits:   insightful.   courteous.   reflective. negative traits:   obstinate.   envious.    myers-briggs ( x ):   istj,   the logistician. temperament:   phlegmatic. moral alignment:   neutral good. horoscope:   taurus,   the bull. hogwarts house:   ravenclaw.

* — favorites !

movie:   raiders of the lost ark. tv show:   game of thrones. book:   child of god by cormac mccarthy. drink:   ale 8. food:   sheperd’s pie. animal:   crows. color:   red. song:   give my love to the rose by johnny cash. artist:   willie nelson. celebrity crush:   ariana grande.

* — impressions !

first impression:  he doesn’t make a strong first  impression.   he’s quiet,   polite,   but he isn’t exceptionally forthcoming.   he’s nice enough to get by but could be intimidating on first look alone. self impression:   he doesn’t quite know What his deal is.   he knows he’s bit odd,   at least for where he’s from,   but he doesn’t think that’s a bad thing. he’s used to thinking of himself as different,  but he’s learned to embrace that over the years. lover impression:   he’s a romantic,   at heart. he’s a gentleman who has like perhaps bit old - fashioned ideas of what that means.   he’s not like gonna be shitty about an independent woman but boy he does believe in like paying for dates and opening doors and shit.

* — et cetera !

turn ons:   intelligent.   shiny hair.   bit of a smart mouth. turn offs:   a superiority complex.   aversion to nature. drink/drugs/smoke:   yes/no/sometimes. dominant hand:   right. clean or messy:   clean. early bird or night owl:   early bird. hobbies or special talents:   he played baseball through high school.   got a bit good at racing in his old truck  ( rip )  hasn’t given the new one a real shot yet.

* — QUESTIONNAIRE !

01. where was your character born? what brought them to st louis? what do they like most about the town?

colton was born in barlow,  kentucky.   he came to st louis for grad school.   on the surface,   its why he came to st louis specifically.   in general though,   he was brought to anywhere out of barlow just because small town life just simply isn’t for him.   he likes st louis because it represents potential.   it’s all the excitement and change and opportunity he’s been looking for,   even now,   after being settled here a few years.

02. who are your character’s friends and family? who do they surround themselves with? who are the people your character is closest to?

colton’s immediate family consists of his parents and his sister,  and,  by extension,   her family.   he gets along well enough with his parents,   even if they don’t always see eye to eye on certain things.   he’s closer with his sister and spends a decent amount of his weekends loitering around her place,   hanging out with her kids.   he surrounds himself mostly with his classmates,   enjoying the conversation that comes from like minded people,   even if they can’t always relate to him.   he’s closest with his sister,   or his grandfather,   whom he calls at least once a week,   more in the rare event that he’s homesick.   pa may not always get what colton’s going on about but he tries and that’s what matters.

03. what is your character’s biggest fear? who have they told this to? who would they never tell this to? why?

colton’s biggest fear is that he’ll always be Yearning for more.   he feels pretty satisfied in st louis,   but he also once felt satisfied in the town he did undergrad in,   and his hometown,   but he always ends up ready for something more.   he comes from the kind of place where you’re supposed to have deep roots,   to live on the land that your family has lived on for ages,   and he really does wish that was enough for him.   it’d make things easier.   but he always wants to be moving and growing and really is afraid he’s going to miss out on getting just like happy,  simple,   domestic times because of that.   he wants more out of life than his town had to offer,   but he didn’t want to abandon the idea of family and home completely.   he’d never tell his family this,   because he feels like he’s got to keep some kind of strong face,   for #toxicmasculinity reasons just as much as needing to prove that he made the right choice in leaving.

04. has your character ever been in love? had a broken heart?

yeah colton had a high school sweetie.   her name was lacey,   they started dating when they were fourteen,   fresh into high school,   went to the same place for undergrad,   lived back home together for a year,   and then called it quits when colton decided to go back to school and move to st louis.   she’s his first and only Real Love,   but,   she got a job teaching at their high school,  and was ready to just settle into living in their hometown again.   even when they decided they could make long distance work while he was at school,   he knew he wouldn’t be able to just finish up in st louis and move back.   yeah it broke his heart a bit but he ended things a week before he headed out.   hurt like hell but maybe deep down he does still imagine that something will happen and they’ll get back together without him moving home one day,   you know,   like an idiot.

06. it’s saturday at noon. what is your character doing? give details.

again,   he likes to fuck around with kyleigh and her kids on the weekends.   when he moved,  it was never to get away from his family,  just the place,   and it’s nice to have them around and still be able to hang out with the kids and stuff.  if he’s not with them,   he’s probably reading.   fucking nerd.

07. what is one strong memory that has stuck with your character since childhood?

back when their grandfather was a little more Spry,   whenever spring came,   he’d go on long meandering walks out in the woods on sunday mornings  ( before church ).   he had never been a hunter,   or a fisher,   it wasn’t anything like that,   just a nice little walk.   when he was like 12 colton decided he needed to be his annoying tag along who probably ruined the purpose of the walks by breaking how quiet and serene the woods were that early,   but pa just ran with it.   they’d talk about whatever came up and it made colton feel special to be a part of something that had always been a special ritual every spring.

09. what is something that upsets your character? where do they go when they’re upset?

i feel like it takes a lot to actually upset him.   he’s pretty chill.   smaller things,   he’s pretty good at just brushing off and moving on from.   he’s upset by like rational things  ( assholes, people coming for his family, questioning his choices )  i guess can’t relate.  he still finds walks in the Woods comforting,   good for clearing your mind,   but most likely he just tries to distract himself with a book or some mindless tv  ( yeah he has a few pawn shows bookmarked for this exact reason ).

10. when your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? why?

whatever the smell is,   it’s heavy.   something meaty and greasy that would be accompanied by starchy,   weighty sides and some kind of bread,   because that’s what makes a meal,   obviously.   they’ve always been a big dinner around the supper table kind of family.  porkchops,   cube steak,   and chicken anyway you could have it were all on frequent rotation.

[pevcnsiee-blog]

━  🌹| INTRO 

is that a chicken????? no its just me, kitty - im nineteen, live in CEST and im going to present you my lil blondie emmy under the cut  if you’d like to plot just hmu or click the ♥ and i’ll get into ur IM’s c:

[ josefine frida pettersen, cisfemale, she/her ] —» biting down by lorde came on the radio, and it reminded me of emmy pevensie, who’s been in sundance for the last 24 hours. they're 21, and currently unemployed. i’ve noticed they're cold & egoistic but can be independent & polite, too. anyone who knows them would say the loud roar of an old truck, light sundresses flowing in the summer breeze and the sharp smell of hair dye describes their vibe effortlessly.—» [ kitty, she/her, 19, CEST ]

( tw : death, implied child abuse )

- was born on november 13th as emmy natasha pevensie  to her parents and her sister: fiona mary.

- she grew up in the suburbs of helena, montana

- her parents weren‘t particulary strict, allowing emmy and fiona to spent a lot of time doing whatever they desired

- since there wasn‘t a big age gap ( one year ) between emmy and her sister, they spent their all of their free time after school playing outside with the neighbour kids

- in middle school, fiona became a member of her school‘s cheer team

- emmy was never particular fond of cheerleading, yet she always attended her sisters performances

- but due to sickness, little emmy couldnt be there during a very important performance at a outward game of their middle school‘s football team

- emmys parents left their bedridden daughter in the care of a babysitter, while they drove off with fiona to the game

- emmys babysitter got a call from the police thirty minutes later: an accident - fionas and emmys parents didnt make it, yet fiona magically survived with minor injury

- so twelve year old emmy and thirteen year old fiona were sent to their first foster family

- it was quite obvious that this family just tried to gather as many children as they could, in order to get as much money as they could

- the six children and two grown-ups had to share a three-room apartment, cramming all six children into one of the tiny rooms

- emmy and her sister barely recieved emotional support or therapy, due to neglection of the issue by their caretaker

- both of them continued going to school, yet there was a big change in their personalities: both of them kept very much to themselves, their grades dropping dramatically and both girls stopped caring about their friendships - the sisters were mostly seen huddled together on the stairs of the fire escape during breaks

- of course their teachers got concerned, contacting the authorities and soon, the pevensies sister‘s caretaker pulled them out of their foster family and sent them to a different one in colorado springs, colorado  

- and right off the bat emmy could tell that something was off about them, giving emmy a weird tummy-feeling whenever they were around

- but her new parents were friendly, gifting their new daughters a beautifully furnished room and all the candy they could imagine, managing to shake off their bad vibes

- you could say everything was perfect: except fiona and emmy‘s older foster sister

- she seemed to loathe her younger sisters, barely exchanging a word with her new sisters and alwaysexiting the room when both were around, spending as little time as possible with them

- but the worst part was that she always locked the girls into their rooms during the night, not wanting to »have them running around at night and disturb her sleep«

- the new house made a lot of weird noises that fiona and emmy had to get used to first, making nights unbearable for them

- yet they stayed at the family for a couple of years, and her foster sister left the family as soon as she turned eighteen - leaving the girls with a habit of locking their door every night

- during that time, both sister managed to cope with the death of their parents by just repressing it - both scolded each other as soon as they‘d talk about their real parents, trying to forget them

- it was hard for emmy when fiona graduated middle school and now started visiting high school, but it also forced both girl to established a new social circle, with their other half now gone

- that‘s how fiona met her boyfriend.

- both hit of right away, fiona spending almost every night at his house

- and with eighteen, fiona also left her foster home, without telling her little sister - she just vanished while emmy was at school and left nothing behind

- emmy was beyond heartbroken, her foster parents not answering any questions about fiona, but she managed to pull herself together and accepted the fact, that everyone she once loved has now left her

- after fiona graduated high school, she didnt leave her family right away, since they offered her to work as a nanny

- her parents were planning to take in more foster children, now having somebody who could watch over them all day

- they even payed fiona good money and her life was going pretty well; having a handful of good friends she could spent her free time with, she got along with her foster siblings and planned to study abroad in europe once she had the money

- she came home late at night, as she caught her foster father leaving the room of one of her siblings, pulling up his pants and adjusting his belt

- both parties being equally shocked at the sight infront of them

- in that moment, emmy understood everything. the noises, why her foster sister locked their door every night ...

- she stormed into her room, locked her door for the last time, packed her bags and fled through the window

- emmy threw all her belongings she managed to stuff into her bag, into her truck and just drove off, everything she has ever surpressed in her entire life flooding back into her memories

- a short stop was made in a small town in utah, and now emmy is stranded in sundance, nevada after her truck broke down

- she‘s staying at the sundance inn , figuring out what to do next

- emmy is a bit ... difficult at the moment

- she tries to be as polite and respectful towards everyone, but it‘s not that easy if you‘re in a emotional crisis

- also being stuck in a strange town doesn‘t help to gain a sense of security and a good basis to sort out one‘s emotions

- having everybody she ever loved leave her in some way, emmy learned that the only person she could trust is herself

- and that‘s why she started putting herself first

- even in highly critical situation, like her running away from home and not taking her foster siblings with her, leaving them in the hands of their abusive foster father

- but at least she‘s not involved in this mess anymore, right? at least she‘s safe

- there‘s a constant war in her mind

- on one side, she knows that it was wrong to not help her younger foster siblings, but on the other hand she doesn‘t want to get involved with something, that could backfire on her - she doesn‘t have any clear evidence, does she?

- honestly, emmy is very broken right now, but is afraid to let anyone get close to her, in case they happen to break her even more

- thus being quite selective in her choice of friends: she won‘t let them get too close, since she doesn‘t want them to know any of her struggles, but she is often way too polite to say no, when one of her friends is in need

- then she tries to find a quick solution, not wanting to shoulder more problems and sorrows than she already has

- but emmy would lie, if she would say, that she doesn‘t enjoy having a bit of company once in a while - just because she doesn‘t want any help, doesn‘t mean that she want to be lonely and secluded

- people who were able to get to know the blonde better, were able to experience her dry sense of humour and her tendency towards sarcasm and self-depricating humour

-they also experienced being woken up in the middle of the night by emmy calling them, demanding them to come outside and join her to get some fast food, the blonde not wanting to be a weirdo, who buys three cheeseburgers and eats them in her parked truck at four thirty in the morning, alone

- spontanous roadtrips tend to happen on a regular basis when being friends with emmy

- again, with the reasoning of her wanting to do something, but doesn‘t want to be seen as an awkward loner

- because she spents so much time in her good old truck, she‘s a fairly good driver and manages to perfectly park even in the most difficult spaces

- never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, due to already fearing a break up

- she‘s not a real blonde

[ceiaofsilence]

Electric Heart, Ch. 1

In which Petunia has a Quirk and Lily doesn’t, and that is really the start of everything.

Petunia Evans manifested her Quirk at the tender age of three. It  wasn’t anything fancy, all she did was get the mess she’d made eating off of her bib, and her parents registered it as a ‘Cleaning Quirk’. That wasn’t quite what it was, but she didn’t question it until later. Neither did her parents, as they were busy preparing for the birth of Petunia’s little sister.

Little Lily Evans was a lovely child, and Petunia loved her fiercely. They’d play together, would read hero magazines with riveted attention and obsess over news reports.

“Just wait until I get my Quirk!” Lily would chirp. “I’ll be the strongest hero! My name’s gonna be Tiger Lily!”

“We’ll be heroes together,” Petunia would vow.

“But your Quirk is Cleaning,” the younger Evans would then frown.

“I’ll find a way.” Petunia was young and stubborn in those innocent times. The only thing that would change about that in coming years was her age.

“It’s a promise!” Lily would cheer.

But Lily Evans never manifested a Quirk, and while she still aspired to be a hero, her heart didn’t seem to be in it anymore. But Petunia never forgot that promise, and in her idealistic child’s mind, she never considered the possibility that Lily might.

From the moment that the doctor confirmed Lily to be Quirkless, Petunia became invisible. Her parents quickly turned overprotective of Lily. Any accomplishment of Lily’s was praised, so much more significant with Lily being ‘disadvantaged’.

Lily the brilliant. Lily the brave. Lily the sweet. Lily the courageous.

Petunia… who?

Nothing she did was special.

“Mummy!” she’d say excitedly. “Look! I Cleaned off the garden wall!” Indeed, with painstaking concentration she’d made the garden wall look like new, moss and dirt in a neat pile beside it. It had taken her two hours.

“Petunia!” Mum would exclaim. “Don’t say that in front of Lily!” Then she’d turn and fuss over the youngest Evans, and Petunia would be forgotten.

  The fight started out simple. Petunia was nine, Lily six. There was a picture of the young Japanese hero All Might in the newspaper, recently declared to be the strongest hero in the whole world. He looked odd, and he wasn’t Petunia’s favourite - that honour belonged to the British number one, Phyta the Green Empress, whose power over plants was unrivalled and whose beauty matched her strength. But she couldn’t deny that All Might was incredible.

“Do you think we could be like him one day?” Petunia chattered as she perused the article over breakfast. “Oh, he’s in Oxford right now! Can we meet him, Daddy? Oh please, I want to meet him! We’re going to be heroes just like him someday-“

“I’M NOT GOING TO BE A HERO!” Lily’s screech was loud, far too loud, ringing with pain and desperation and heartbreak. “GOD, TUNEY, GET IT IN YOUR BLOODY HEAD!”

And the lightbulbs shattered.

Petunia had always held out hope that Lily was just a late bloomer, double toe joint or no. She was overjoyed - surely, everything would be fine now? Lily and her were the same now!

“Petunia!” her Mum yelled then, while Daddy fussed over a hysteric Lily. “Go to your room and think about what you said to poor Lily! I can’t believe how insensitive you are - we raised you better than this.”

“But-“ she protested. “But we-“

“Petunia, just go,” Daddy said tiredly.

“It’s not fair!” Petunia burst out. “I’ve never - and she - and - Lily said a bad word!” Somehow, that was all that she could say.

“To your room!” Mum thundered, and her normally so melodic voice - a side-effect of her Quirk, ‘Voice’ - was frightening. Petunia ran for it.

When the doorbell rang not a while later, she thought it was just a neighbour enquiring if everything was all right.

She couldn’t have been more wrong.

  Magic. Magic.

That was- that was so-

Of course Petunia had known it existed, it wasn’t like it was a secret. Magic users had revealed themselves ages ago, taking the opportunity when the phenomenon of Quirks became an accepted part of society. Magicals still kept to themselves, however, forming a highly exclusive and secretive subculture. Of the 20% of people in the world who were born quirkless, 0.05% turned out to have magic - meaning, magicals made up roughly 0.01% percent of the world population. One in ten thousand.

They were rather obscure, steeped in their own traditions and culture. Magic had the side-effect of interfering with technology, which meant that hardly any of them used social media, and they were rather out of touch with the non-magical world in turn, having no televisions.

Magic users were also rather unpopular. The treaties that had been made when the ‘Statute of Secrecy’ had been abolished ensured that magical culture would be protected by allowing them a high degree of autonomy - because the world was in chaos back then due to the emergence of Quirks, no government had wanted to risk making an enemy out of an organised society of supernaturally gifted people who’d had centuries to explore their abilities. Which led to the concession of allowing magical society their own governments, legislature, and education system.

But it had become apparent that wizards and witches felt themselves superior over non-magicals. They had a special term for them, too, though Petunia couldn’t recall it now. Reporters had written exposés on them, and some wizards that hadn’t been born in that society had published books on the culture that shed a really bad light on them. Non-magical governments had in reaction demanded investigations and new legislations in magical society, which had caused terrible unrest at the time.

And Lily, knowing none of this, was elated to be magical. The woman that had visited - Petunia had to rely on her parents’ and Lily’s rambling accounts since she’d been hiding in her room - was a witch sent by the Ministry to inform Lily of what she was and provide her with explanations. Lily was also required to visit informative meetings and preparatory classes for the school she’d be visiting after she turned eleven. An education that would take her away for seven years.

Lily would be too old for hero school after graduating.

Not that there had ever been any records of a magical hero.

A rift had opened between Petunia and her little sister. Between Petunia and the rest of the family, really.

There was the horrible jealousy and bitterness. If Petunia had thought everything would be all right now, that her parents would finally focus on her a little more, she was dead wrong. If anything it got worse. Mum and Daddy fawned - and it couldn’t be called anything else! - over Lily even more. She was special after all.

Lily the magical. Lily, the one among a ten thousand who had magic. Lily the miracle.

Lily who barely even talked to Petunia anymore, who didn’t have to do chores as much, whose birthday and Christmas presents were better and more expensive than Petunia’s ever were. Lily who was pretty with her dark red hair and brilliant green eyes. Who went to special meets for ‘muggleborn witches and wizards’ and came back saying “Witches don’t become heroes,” as if being a hero wasn’t noble and admirable and everything she’d wanted to be since she was young, as if Petunia’s dream was worthless. “We have Aurors,” she’d then relay with admiration. “Magic is so versatile. We don’t even need Quirks.”

They drifted apart - or rather, Petunia extracted herself from that relationship because these days Lily’s every word hurt. She didn’t like this bitter and jealous person she became around her sister and parents, so she became more and more reclusive, taking to studying in her room. She wasn’t naturally smart like Lily, who seemed to have an innate grasp of any concept laid before her. But Petunia was a hard worker, and that, she told herself, made her better than Lily, who didn’t have to work for anything.

Petunia decided she was a fighter. While Lily began to hang around with that Snape boy from Spinner’s End - and he was terribly rude and arrogant! - she began taking Martial Arts classes and frequented websites that offered advice on Quirks. Planning out her career and researching hero schools - because she’d show everyone that she could do it. She’d make them see her! - quickly led to obsessive training into the late hours. She began experimenting with her Quirk at the local junkyard (with permission, of course), and found out that it wasn’t just Cleaning. Rather, it was Relocating. Petunia had a ‘territory’ of sorts around herself, and within it she could move things around, switch them, even deconstruct and put them back together. It wasn’t a large territory, if she spread out her arms her fingertips would just touch the limits. But Mr. Solomon, the owner of the junkyard, told her that hard work and practice was everything when it came to Quirks.

And hard work was Petunia’s specialty, after all.

Petunia participated in a Quirk tournament when she was twelve, having heard that hero schools often sent scouts looking for new talent there. And at this point, she had understood that her parents were against her becoming a hero.

“It’s not for everyone,” they’d cautioned at first. “Your Quirk isn’t suitable for hero work.” Explanations that her Quirk wasn’t just cleaning fell on disbelieving ears.

When she wouldn’t relent, they said, “It’s too expensive.” But they’d just bought Lily a stack of magic books, so that wasn’t believable. “We don’t want you to be disappointed when you aren’t admitted.”

When, not if. They had no faith at all in her.

“I’m going to do it,” she told them.

And then Lily would make a pained face, her mother would see it and wince, and Petunia knew what this was all about. Stupid, spoiled Lily, out to crush Petunia’s dreams again.

If she wanted to make her dream reality - and she would! - then she needed to do it herself. Which was why she went to that tournament.

Petunia didn’t win, to her disappointment. But out of the fifty kids that participated, she placed ninth. Her training served her well, and it helped that unlike a martial arts tournament, the matches were held out in a training ground that imitated a village - there was more than enough clutter for Petunia to work with, since her Quirk didn’t work on living beings.

She lost against a boy with Pyrokinesis, and a girl with blue skin entangled Petunia in a mass of hair before she could figure out a proper defence. But that didn’t matter afterwards, when a man with the head of a cat approached her.

“That’s a very interesting Quirk you have there, Miss Evans,” he told her.

“Thank you, Sir,” she sniffled. “But I lost.”

“You did well,” he disagreed. “Quirks like yours - they’re rare. Fire quirks, mutation quirks, they’re common. But you - your Quirk would be invaluable on disaster sites, and it’s incredibly versatile. What is it called?”

“It’s - it’s mislabelled as Cleaning,” she admitted, flushing in embarrassment, because that error still hadn’t been corrected. “But I would call it ‘Rearrangement’.”

“Do you wish to be a hero, Miss Evans?” he asked her.

“More than anything else in the world,” Petunia breathed. And he handed her a business card.

Jared Kelvin

Winterville Academy of Heroics

  Winterville wasn’t the number one hero school in Britain. But it fulfilled Petunia’s requirements: One, it was a boarding school and far away from her parents’ home. Two, it offered her a scholarship.

That was all she needed.

 Hero school was a revelation. Suddenly, Petunia was among likeminded people. No longer did anyone look down on her for her so-called Cleaning Quirk. No longer was she invisible. People here were interested in her. They supported her. They wanted her to get stronger and better. That, that was amazing.

She felt as if she’d been reborn. Her roommate was a bubbly girl named Raleigh (“Call me X-Raye! I hope we can be friends!”) and suddenly, she had someone to giggle over boys with, to help her pick out outfits, to analyse the latest hero gossip and chatter well into the night with. She’d never been so happy.

No longer did Petunia feel inferior when Lily came back from Hogwarts, which she’d begun attending two years ago, chattering about her own experiences and feeling viciously pleased at the pinched lips of her mother and Lily’s unhappy frown. In the neighbourhood, people would greet her now, shaking her hand and praising her for chasing her dreams.

It wasn’t all fun though, training was hard, competition was harder. There was always some drama going on, because they were all teenagers and all of them had powerful Quirks. And as a girl, Petunia had to put in triple the effort because Winterville had once been an all-boy’s school and the ratio of boys to girls was still vastly unbalanced. But Petunia was nothing if not persistent.

She graduated at age eighteen, not at the top of her year but comfortably in the top twenty. Final exams had been draining and she was looking forward to a month of rest before sending applications to hero offices. Maybe she’d even hire a private agent, but she’d try on her own first. Perhaps put in ads as a sidekick to get some practical experience under a veteran hero. Winterville had offered a few internships, but they were intensely competed over and in the end Petunia hadn’t gotten one.

If nothing worked out, she had a hero license. She could always try to make it on her own, though it would be hard. She wouldn’t have an agency to send her to disaster sites, no one to help her with publicity, and sponsors wouldn’t approach her so easily.

“Oh,” her father said awkwardly when she explained her plans. “I thought you’d be going to university.”

Petunia had had enough of schools for a lifetime, thank you very much. She’d done well enough, but it wasn’t anything she particularly enjoyed. She was itching to start her career. “I’ll be using the money to kick off my hero career.”

“Tuney, sweetheart.” That was her mother. And nothing good ever followed the words Tuney, sweetheart. “We’ve been tolerating this hero obsession since it started, and you know we weren’t happy about your choice in schools. But we were hoping you would grow out of it.”

It was suddenly very hard to breathe for Petunia.

“We want you to quit. Hero-business - that’s just too dangerous, and you have to be realistic, sweetheart. There’s so many heroes, and most of them just never manage to make enough money to support themselves. And let’s be honest, you Quirk just isn’t that hero-suitable.” Rose Evans had the nerve to pat her shoulder comfortingly. “We only want what’s best for you.”

“Please go to university, or get a realistic job you can actually do,” Dad told her seriously.

Petunia nodded slowly. “I understand.” She stood. “Good day, Mother, Father.” She yanked her smartphone from her pocket. “X-Raye? What do you say about getting an appartment together?”

“Tuney!” Mother gasped, scandalised. Petunia gave her a brittle smile.

“I believe it is lucky I haven’t unpacked yet.” She turned on her heel. “Watch out for Lady Order.”

  Spite was always a great motivator, and without it Petunia would never have gotten as far as she had. And now, because her parents had told her she wasn’t good enough (they’d never tell Lily that!), she threw her all into starting her hero career. Visited every hero agency in Birmingham, where she and X-Raye had rented an appartment, to introduce herself and hand over her application. They told her they’d call her, which was discouraging because she never got that ‘we-want-her!’ vibe from any of them.

She refused to rely on her parents’ money any longer, so she found herself a job for the times she wasn’t patrolling the city. It was just employment in a grocery store, absolutely nothing fancy - but she was allowed to use her Quirk to rearrange the shelves and clean up, and it paid fine. After a week she also started working evenings in a bar.

That was where she met Vernon Dursley for the first time. He was ordinary. Somewhat overweight, but it wasn’t too bad. And his moustache was charming.

Plus he was interested. Petunia knew she wasn’t exactly pretty. Tall, her neck too long. Not much in the way of a chest, and lean thanks to her training. Intimidating mucles. Her face just a little too long. But her hair was nice, her piercing blue eyes had been declared ‘spellbinding!’ by X-Raye, and with the right make-up her face was easy on the eyes. And thanks to her quirk all her clothing was arranged to fit just right.

Still, she wasn’t exactly much to look at when compared to the curvy barmaid or the university students that frequented the bar, so she was especially flattered when Vernon chatted her up, and before she knew it she had agreed to a date. It wasn’t exactly the best time she’d ever had with anyone, but Vernon was sweet, and it felt so good to be wanted and appreciated, to be courted and flattered. So she agreed to a second date, and a third, and a fourth.

The fourth date changed her world. It was a double date, with X-Raye who had brought the girl she had a crush on. Vernon had gotten a pinched look on his face, but said nothing, had done his best to not express disapproval. They’d chosen to sit outdoors of the Italian restaurant, and had just placed their orders.

That was when the third floor of the shopping centre across the street just - blew up. And Petunia acted. Her Sphere of Influence expanded to previously unreached proportions and enveloped the building. And all the flying rubble just froze. She breathed out harshly and forced herself to take stock of the situation instead of panicking like she so desperately wanted to. “X-Raye!” she called out, and her best friend was already by her side, Quirk activated, eyes glowing white, easily seeing through walls and picking out life-forms.

“Lady Order, there’s a villain,” she said calmly. “He seems to shoot explosive material from his skin. Survivors are trapped in there, we need to contain him.”

“Understood.” Petunia’s Quirk allowed her to have her costume with her at all times, she only had to Arrange it on her body. Within a moment she was covered in armour and helmet. She clenched gauntlet-covered fists and all the floating rubble Arranged into blocks, which then assembled into a stairway to the building. X-Raye handed her a comm-unit. “He’s rampaging on the second floor,” she said.

“Copy that,” Petunia snapped out, and jumped onto her makeshift stairway. “Enter the building and guide the civilians out.”

“Got it.”

Petunia ran right towards the building, but then - “Petunia! He’s coming out!” - the walls of the second floor were blown out and the villain, swathed in a dark cloak and wearing a mask, jumped out.

And  again Petunia just - reacted. In an instant, the makeshift stairs Reassembled around the villain. “Containment Order!” Petunia shouted, clenching her fists.

The villain tried. Shot explosion after explosion at the rubble, but it just wasn’t enough. She walled him in, stopped all his movements, left him only enough space to breathe before she knocked him out. And then X-Raye was yelling into her ear, and they set about saving survivors. X-Raye telling her where the survivors were, where she needed to stabilise the damaged building, where rubble needed to be cleared away in order to free someone.

This was Petunia’s official debut as a hero.

 “So, huh. What about Vernon? Didn’t you both plan to catch that movie tonight?” X-Raye asked casually as they sat at the restaurant together.

“He told me he couldn’t handle my heroics and that I should quit if I wanted to stay with him,” Petunia answered bitterly.

“Aw shit,” X-Raye said. “Are you - do you need ice cream? Or, a hug? I give good hugs!” She nodded emphatically, her black curls bouncing with the movement.

“I know,” Petunia smirked. “And no, no ice cream. Honestly, I don’t really have time for a relationship. I’d have broken up with Vernon anyway, I think.” She laughed then. “After all, we just signed with Whitaker Hero Agency!” She raised her wineglass.

X-Raye laughed, the light reflecting off her glasses that she had to wear because she was near-sighted when not using her Quirk. Her wineglass clinked against Petunia’s. “To our debuts!”

“To our debuts,” Petunia repeated, a little more quiet. She stared into her wineglass. “I wished - you know.”

“I can’t read minds, darling,” X-Raye said gently.

Petunia sighed deeply. “I’ve been dreaming of my hero debut since I was old enough to know what it meant. But when it happened-“ Her breath hitched. The smell of smoke, the dust, the screams, dear God-

“I know,” X-Raye murmured quietly, her hand covering Petunia’s. “It was… terrifying.”

“Yes,” Petunia agreed. “But - I was glad I was there. With you by my side. I don’t think I’d have been as calm if I hadn’t known you’d have my back.”

Her friend smiled. “You were really great though. The media is all over you. ‘A new heroine takes the stage! Lady Order has arrived!’” she quoted. Petunia dropped her face into her free hand. The other was still being held by X-Raye and that was - it felt nice.

“I could do without the media,” she muttered. Which was funny because she’d wanted to be a hero because of the fame and the recognition. But that had begun to change in school, where she’d been challenged to go to her limits, to use every last drop of talent to be the very best she could be. And then, during the double date incident - it had been about helping people. Her body had acted practically on its own.

“Did your parents call you?” X-Raye asked quietly. Petunia shook her head.

“No,” she answered. “Mum and Dad, they’re... I don’t even know.” She sighed in frustration.

“Hey.” X-Raye squeezed her hand. “Do you want to go see that movie with me?”

Petunia blinked. She’d say yes in a heartbeat, but the way X-Raye was looking at her - it was different. Warm. And her hand on Petunia’s - oh. Oh. Her heart skipped a beat, and she should probably - her parents wouldn’t like this, would they? But- but this was X-Raye. Best friend, staunchest supporter, sweet and kind but fierce when standing up for herself and others.

“I would like that very much,” Petunia said quietly.

 Life became even more busy. Her agency decided that she needed to make full use of the publicity her debut had given her, and so she barely had time to sleep while she travelled around the UK to various disaster sites. Of which there was no shortage, no thanks to the villain Earthshaker who was terrorising the nation by appearing in random locations and causing earthquakes.

It was sheer coincidence when Petunia ran into him while she was cleaning up the devastation he’d caused to a village near Glasgow. It was sheer luck that she managed to somehow beat him, which sent her budding fame soaring to new heights. She wasn’t entirely happy with this, the fight had shown her how much she still had to learn, and the publicity cut into her time for training.

Her new girlfriend was her rock in that time. X-Raye was… wonderful. Petunia wondered how she could have ever looked at Vernon when this beautiful woman had been right in front of her, had been there for her from the moment they’d met. They didn’t get to spend much time together as a couple, Petunia being so busy and often out of Birmingham, while X-Raye specialised in investigative work. But there were phone calls and skype, and the distance made their moments together that much more precious.

Life as a hero was exhausting, but infinitely more rewarding than she could have ever imagined. The moments when someone walked up to her, telling her how much they appreciated her protection, how much they supported her. The thanks of the people she saved (and wasn’t that amazing, Petunia had saved lives!), the smiles and cheers she inspired in people. She wouldn’t trade it for the world.

 “And I think I want to be an Auror,” Lily rambled. “It’s, I want to help people and crime has been rising lately. I think it’s the right thing to do.”

“That’s our Lily!” Dad boomed with a pride he’d never seemed to show for Petunia. Why was she even here?

Right. Because it was the first time her parents had reached out to her since she moved out so abruptly. Yet she felt invisible within the confines of her childhood home. And caged, expected to fit into a mould she couldn’t even see.

Still. She would endure this. Hero life had shown her that life was short, no matter how strong a Quirk was. Just last week a colleague had died, and three months ago Phyta, Petunia’s childhood idol, had been forced to retire due to injury. No matter her opinion and difficulties with her family, Petunia loved them.

Later, after dinner just as Petunia was leaving, Lily ran up to her. “Tuney!” she called out. “Tuney, wait!” She was out of breath when she reached Petunia. Someone hadn’t been keeping fit, huh? And still Petunia couldn’t suppress a stab of jealousy because her younger sister, barely sixteen years old now, looked still so effortlessly perfect.

“What is it, Lily?” she asked.

“Oh,” Lily fidgeted nervously. “I wanted to ask you if I could write you sometime.”

Petunia blinked. “Of course, why would you think you couldn’t?”

Lily wilted. “I’m not friends with Sev anymore!” she blurted causing Petunia to start in surprise because as far as she was aware, the two had been inseparable. “And I, and I realised that his opinions caused me to disregard my family and especially you. I’m so sorry about that.” Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry about a lot of things.”

“Oh Lily,” Petunia said softly, folding the younger girl into an awkward hug. Lily was small and soft where Petunia was tall and lean and somewhat awkward. “You’re my sister,” she murmured while Lily sobbed against her shoulder. “And while I won’t deny that you hurt me greatly in the past, I love you very much and that won’t change. I’d be happy if you wrote to me.”

“So we’re okay?” Lily sniffled.

“I don’t know,” Petunia admitted. “I think it’ll take time.”

 Exchanging letters with Lily was… awkward more than anything. Petunia’s younger sister mostly seemed to want someone to vent to about the racist sentiments that were running rampant, ‘that Potter boy’s idiocy’, the backwardness of some aspects of wizarding culture. She liked to use complicated words that even the internet couldn’t explain to Petunia. It was nothing like the talks she’d shared with X-Raye when they’d been sixteen years old.

And while Petunia made an effort to take Lily seriously and give her what sisterly advice she could (not that she had much experience in that venture), Lily just never seemed to return the favour. When Petunia wrote about her own life and struggles, Lily would comment on it with a short paragraph at most. If it had anything to do with being a hero, Lily would simply ignore it. Considering Petunia’s whole life was about being a hero, this was discouraging.

And if Petunia criticised something Lily had said or done, the reply would be late and snippy at best. Because Lily was headstrong and spoiled, it couldn’t be said any other way. Petunia knew she herself was bitter and jealous which made her view of things clouded. But even X-Raye, whom she showed their correspondence to, agreed that Lily could use a dose of humility.

Still, it was nice to be on speaking terms with Lily again, even if it wasn’t all great. Lily was still a sweet and sincere girl, funny and smart. And once Petunia carefully pointed out her observations (and a month of no replies), Lily did apologise and promised to do better. She didn’t quite keep the promise due to not realising just when she was saying the wrong thing, but she tried.

 James Potter was a ponce. Lily had invited him to a family dinner. It was obvious that this wasn’t the first time, either. But it was the first time Petunia met him though she felt she knew him through Lily’s letters. Which, admittedly, weren’t the best source of information due to Lily being a bit dense and not objective in the least.

She tried not to be bitter that her parents were warmer and kinder to him than they’d ever tried to be towards X-Raye, whom Petunia had brought to visit twice at her girlfriend’s insistence. Rose and Michael Evans laughed with Potter as if they’d known him for years.

Petunia found him to be arrogant and annoying. There was a barely hidden huff of laughter when she told him she was a pro-hero, he made jokes about ‘cleaning up villains’ that everyone laughed about - how could they still not understand that her Quirk wasn’t Cleaning? That she was a nationwide famous professional hero who deserved respect for putting her life on the line - and subtly mocked Quirks in general, but Petunia was the only one who noticed it.

But then, in the Evans family, Quirks had become something that better remained unpraised at best.

Still, Potter loved Lily, that much was obvious. And Lily loved him back.

Despite that, Petunia was completely taken aback when Lily announced they were going to get married. Lily was barely eighteen! She’d just graduated! She had no job to fall back on, had only ever dated this one guy - and for not even a year at that! That was the height of irresponsibility.

Petunia was glad that she for once wasn’t the only one who felt that way - Dad wasn’t pleased, and neither was Mum. The discussion was unpleasant to say the least.

And like she always did, Lily wheedled approval from their parents. Because Lily always got her way.

  The wedding was terrible. For Petunia anyways. Everyone else seemed think it ‘dreamy’. It was as if her parents were deaf to the whispers of ‘muggles’. Blind to the way they were patronisingly being smiled down at.

Petunia for one couldn’t stand it, and it was only X-Raye’s firm grip on her that kept her from saying something biting in regards to the disrespectful jokes Potter’s friends made about their chosen profession. And that stupid best man of Potter’s wouldn’t stop flirting with Petunia’s girlfriend.

They left as soon as they could.

“That was fun, let’s never do it again,” was all X-Raye said about it, and Petunia couldn’t have agreed more.

Lily’s letters stopped almost completely after the wedding, far too enamoured with the life she was building with Potter.

The next time they saw each other again was at their parents’ funeral, and it was then they had their biggest row to date. Because it had been wizards who’d murdered Rose and Michael Evans. Members of a racist wizard faction that Lily had deliberately said nothing about, no warnings, no nothing. “It’s not like they could have done anything!” Lily yelled.

“I’m the number seven pro-hero in all of the United Kingdom!” Petunia shouted back. “I could have done something!”

“Oh, like you even cared about them. You’ve always been jealous of me and my magic, with your stupid little Cleaning Quirk!” Lily scoffed.

“Me, jealous?” Petunia shrieked, deaf to X-Raye’s attempts to calm her. “That’s just rich! The only thing I’ve ever envied you for was the family you stole from me. And how dare you say that I didn’t care about Mum and Dad, you entitled little bint?!”

“That’s enough, Petunia!” Potter growled. “Don’t you talk like that to my wife!”

“Oh no, James! I want to hear this!” Lily hissed. “Come on, let it all out. Tell me how jealous you are, how you only became a hero to show me up. Like you even know what a true hero looks like!”

“She sees one every time she looks into a mirror,” X-Raye snapped. “Come on, Pet. Let’s go somewhere else.”

“Right, run away!” Lily jeered.

“Shut your trap. You are the reason they’re dead!” Petunia snarled.

“Aguamenti!” The blast of water hit Petunia’s torso and threw her to the ground. Stunned, she stared at Lily’s furious expression, which slowly melted into a horrified one. “Tuney…”

“I’m done with you.” Petunia stood, her black dress dirty and drenched, her hair ruined. “You know the funny thing? Even if Mother and Father were here, they’d take your side right now.” She barked out a laugh. “Good day.”

And that was the last time the Evans sisters ever spoke to each other.

  The house stood tall and beautiful. Three stories, a large garden, state-of-the-art security system. And it was all Petunia’s. And, she thought as she knelt before her girlfriend with a ring held out, soon it would be theirs.

“Petunia,” X-Raye sobbed. “I-“

Something in her froze. Those… those weren’t happy tears. No. No.

“This is lovely, and I, I’m so, I’m so sorry,” X-Raye whimpered. “I c-ca-can’t  marry y-you. I’m n-not-“ A new wave of sobs shook her, preventing her from continuing.

“Y-you mean that you aren’t ready?” Petunia asked shakily. “That’s o-okay, that’s f-fine-“

“No!” X-Raye screamed. Then, softly, “I’m leaving. You. I’m leaving you. And I’m retiring.”

“W-what, you can’t m-mean that, Ray-Raye, please-“ Petunia pleaded.

“I do l-love you,” X-Raye whispered. “So very much. B-but this relationship. You. You’re this amazing h-hero, and everybody l-loves you and I’m just - nobody looks at me. I’m struggling to g-get any recognition at all, a-and it’s j-just not worth i-it. And y-you’re always g-gone. I just - I gi-give up on being a hero. I sh-should be realistic.”

“No,” Petunia whispered. “No, please-”

But no matter how much she begged and pleaded, Petunia Evans was all alone in the end, and the empty house was a mausoleum to the relationship that had been her pillar of support for so long.

  Three weeks had passed since the break-up. Dozens of phone calls had gone ignored, X-Raye had moved out of their appartment, and even her parents wouldn’t tell Petunia anything. It hurt, it hurt so much.

Throwing herself into work did nothing to quiet her grief.

All alone, all alone. Never good enough. Not for your parents, not for your sister, not for the woman you thought you’d marry and spend the rest of your life with.

The medals and awards she’d won, the fan letters, the sponsor offers. That was all worthless.

It was then that she noticed people entering the property. She’d taken to keeping her Quirk active at all times ever since the murder of her parents. And now, in the dead of night, long past the time even the most persistent trick-or-treater would still be awake, two unknown subjects were approaching Petunia’s home. She took a deep breath and suited up, then sent a quick message to her agency with a request to monitor her security cameras and document whatever happened, and to send back-up her way. That done, she used her smartphone to access the camera feeds herself.

The first wizard was an old man with a long beard and high heels, wearing robes. The second was a woman in an emerald cloak, a pointy hat on her head. And somehow they had extinguished every light on the streets. Thankfully, Petunia’s security cameras needed no light source.

As Petunia crept out of the house through a backdoor she observed the camera feeds. Headlights appeared, and a large man on a motorcycle joined the two magicals. In his arms was a tiny bundle. An infant-sized bundle, to be precise. An ice-cold grip of fear clenched around Petunia’s heart - was this a hostage situation? Would the baby be used against her?  This situation had suddenly become much more serious.

Petunia observed while she readied her defences and Rearranged ammunition for her Quirk subtly. The wizards didn’t appear to be too conscious of their surroundings, though there was a moment where the large man let out a howl and the woman looked around for anyone who might have heard. The trio was almost to the front door now.

They placed the infant on her doorstep. Petunia gaped when they merely stepped back and stared down at the child before she stormed up to them. It was clear they weren’t hostile by now, so she felt safe in doing so.

“And just what-” she demanded in her most cutting voice- “do you think you are doing?”

They spun around on their heels as one, their wands out. And blinked at the metal javelins hovering around them, tips pointed at them, held in the air by Petunia’s Quirk.

“Ah,” the old man said. “You must be Petunia. It is lovely to meet you, my dear.”

“Wands away,” she ordered, “And step away from the child.”

“We would never hurt little Harry!” the woman gasped, scandalised.

“Away. From the child,” Petunia snarled, making the javelins hover closer - and while their backs were turned to ‘Harry’, Arranged a safety wall around the infant. Was that a letter tucked into his blankets? It was too hard to see.

The trio obeyed her, following the old man’s lead in putting their wands (or umbrella in the big man’s case) away.  Though the old man - he looked familiar somehow, perhaps Lily had shown her a picture at some point? - was smiling peacefully, as though he was merely humouring her. In contrast, the woman looked as if she wished to scratch out Petunia’s night vision goggles-protected eyes.

“My dear Miss Evans,” the old one said. “We do not mean any harm. This hostility is unnecessary, I assure you.”

“My parents were murdered by your kind,” she replied. “And you approach my home in the dead of night, with no intention of announcing yourselves. I will not apologise for my caution, nor will I lower it. Now. Who are you, and what is your business with me?”

He sighed deeply, smile vanishing. “I cannot fault you, I suppose. These are dangerous times we are living in.”

“Answer the question.” Petunia was getting fed up.

“As you wish.” The man’s energy seemed to wane, leaving him tired. “The boy on your doorstep is your younger sister’s son, Harry Potter.” Petunia startled at that. Lily had never contacted her again after their last row, and a nephew’s existence came as a complete surprise. She almost missed the man’s next sentence. “I regret to inform you that Lily Potter and her husband perished tonight.”

Like a punch to the gut. Petunia nearly doubled over, nearly lost hold on her Quirk. Disbelief and shocked grief warred inside her. But she was trained to power through those. Lady Order was renowned for her countenance in the face of danger.

“The letter I have left with young Harry explains-“

Petunia didn’t let him get further than that. A spark of anger had ignited in her, and she clung to it, fanned the flame to keep herself moving, to stop the terrible cold inside of her. “You were going to leave the child with me. Explaining all of this in a letter. Leave a helpless child at the dawn of November on a doorstep, hours before anyone reasonable would be awake. Telling me of my only surviving family member’s demise through a bloody letter?!”

“Miss Evans, there are reasons-“

“Which you are going to explain to me in excruciating detail, as well as in person,” Petunia hissed.

“Miss Evans!” The witch’s voice was so reminiscent of the strict teachers at Winterville that Petunia fell silent and stood straight automatically. “You forget yourself.”

“Forget myself?” Petunia demanded. “That’s rich. Answers. Now.”

The old man raised his hand to pacify the witch. “Very well. Tonight, the leader of a terrorist group in our society attacked the Potter family. He murdered James and Lily, but when he raised his wand to attack their child, an ancient protection Lily had invoked reflected the attack back on him. As you share Lily’s blood, so long as Harry calls your house his home, both he and it will be benefitting from this protection.”

“Why did this terrorist decide to go after the Potters?” Petunia asked, masking the confused hurt that was seeping into her heart. Lily. Gone.

“They were upstanding members of our society,” the man told her sombrely. “And they confronted Lord Voldemort more than once and survived it.” He looked at a strangely-shaped watch on his wrists without a care for the javelins still pointed at him. “I believe it is time to go.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Petunia growled. But before she could do anything, the three vanished with a loud crack that woke the child. She heard him begin to sniffle, and with quick strides she hurried to him and picked him up, awkwardly rocking him in her arms. She had no clue about children, only knew that she had to support the head when holding them. “Shh,” she whispered. “Auntie is here. You’re safe, little one.”

Green eyes - Lily’s eyes - opened and stared at her. Those eyes, more than anything, were a stab to the heart. This was Lily’s son. And the only way Lily would have trusted Petunia with him was if she really was-

A dry sob escaped from Petunia’s throat. The little boy made a confused gurgling sound.

Just then, lights illuminated the dark street, and the back-up Petunia had requested finally arrived.

  Two days later, Petunia sat in her house with her nephew on her lap. Files of information were stacked on her desk. A multitude of supplies to care for an infant had been delivered to her house.

“What am I going to do with you, huh?” she murmured to the sleeping boy.

Petunia was absolutely not prepared to care for this tiny human being. But she’d be damned if she wouldn’t figure it out. He was hers now.

Obviously she would leave the country with little Harry. Even a superficial investigation had yielded enough information to unsettle her, and there was that damned letter that contained barely more information than she’d wheedled out of the man who had been identified as one Albus Dumbledore, a highly influential individual and the headmaster of the school Lily had attended.

She’d had to stop authorities from pursuing and questioning the man. Oh, she did want to know what his agenda was, wanted every last bit of information on her sister’s death from him. But Harry’s safety came first, and this man was powerful. Attempting to coerce her to take in the boy by insinuating threats against her safety that those ‘blood wards’ would protect her and her future family from. And telling her that she couldn’t move from her house for the next seventeen years unless she wanted to destabilise those same wards. Any obvious move she made against him would bring his attention upon them, and she was banking on the fact that her non-magicalness made her invisible as it so often had.

(How odd that that which she had loathed the most in her childhood now protected her.)

No, Petunia would simply leave the country and hope he would not notice. She had made more than enough money being Lady Order, the number five pro-hero in the United Kingdom. And she knew how to cover her tracks, had contacts that would help.

Obviously, she’d retire from active duty. Hero business was dangerous, and it would be more than irresponsible to risk her life when Harry was dependent on her.

She eyed the second stack of papers. They were job offers, the kind that top heroes tended to receive and disregard in most cases. Requests from famous people to protect them on a long-term basis. Offers from hero agencies to sign with them.

And job offers from hero schools. She’d already singled one out. It was an old one, already two years old, so probably already expired. But it would be her first choice, if the offer still stood. She even spoke the language, thanks to a friend with a Teaching Quirk.

She dialled the number printed on the paper.

“Good afternoon, this is Evans Petunia. Am I speaking to Principal Nedzu?”

Next Chapter >>

[wrenism-blog]

whaddup im ellie (or ri bc i think theres another ellie n i dont want u guys 2 b confused)  and happy holidays!! idk what to say but uhm here is my son wren! ive been dying to play him for the longest time but i couldnt find a group i wanted to place him in but here i am! with him! a christmas miracle 2 b here truly 

here r a few things about my son!! hes a new muse bc i havent really used him anywhere else so im still like.. getting to know him but this is what ive got for him so far

he comes from a lower middle class family with just him, his parents, n his older sister 

they didnt have much but they had enough to keep themselves under a roof and while wren was grateful for it and for how hard his parents worked to keep the house and keep food on the table, he also just wanted to explore n stuff u feeel?? he was always an active child and all he wanted to do was explore 

he was born n raised in roscoe, but it was never enough for him?? he hated roscoe and honestly the minute he graduated high school and got his scholarship and fafsa approved, he was so quick to leave and the only reason why he’s comng back to roscoe is for the pact they made in third grade and again at the bonfire after graduation 

he hasnt been back in roscoe since grad, he never really came home to visit his family during the holidays or anything bc he truly hated roscoe and how it had little to offer him and so he’d just skype and call and text his family instead of physically being w them

it was lonely at first, but honestly he’d just stay w friends he made at college or just be on his own n do his own thing 

he was a vlogger and he captured all of this travels for himself but also for his family and friends to see what he was doing 

he started vlogging during his freshmam year of college and it didnt pick up and gain fame until his sophomore year and by his college graduation, he was getting offers to travel n visit all these places and do all these things for sponsors and collabs n all that stuff u feel??? 

his vlogs r just adventure vlogs n like.. fitness n workout bc hes hella active n always on the go and like running n hiking n river rafting n snowboarding n like u know a camera always attached to him on his helmet n shit like that u feel what im saying  

he likes to think hes a vegetarian but honestly he’s a fake vegetarian bc he eats his steak and burgers every now and then but for the most part hes mostly on a vegetarian diet?? but like if hes offered steak or if hes feeling it hes gonna eat a steak so hes fake 

 hes a very open person and hella opinionated 

hes VERY opinionated so he’s always out there trying to tell people his thoughts or loves talkign to people about their thoughts and they can just talk about whatever n ike… if he feels really strongly about something then he’ll fight u for it or for whatever

with being a vlogger n willngly putting his life out there, he doesnt really hold back on much and will openly express shit u feel

hes also very into activism and like he’ll attend any protest he can if he believes in the cause and donate to things n honestly he dead ass took his time screaming outside w signs n tweets n endless vids about hte important of net neutrality n stuff like that u feel like he just! loves a good reason to get his voice heard 

with being very open and b expressive, one of the downfalls to that is he comes off very blunt and very like... if he doesnt like u then he doesnt like u and if he doesnt like something then she doesnt like something u feel?? like he should feel bad about it and for making his distaste extremely obvious, but he also just doesnt care 

he also has this problem of things never being enough ufeel?? like there r people who feel like theyre not enough and then u have wren where things (and people tbh) aren’t enough for him 

yea idk what else but if i come up w something else or remember something then! ill add onto this for now

im a slut 4 plots so !!! i have a connections page over here and if u wanna plot then come on DOWN or i can come to u ya know?? im a slut 4 plots n im literally down for anything n if u dont see one u like on hte page then i can spit out some different ideas n stuff u kow? i love plots but also if ur into just like.. going w the flow then we can do that too im a hoe 4 anything im just excited 2 b here n 2 finally use wren 

[00sheven]

real horror show.

my last post got me thinking of the old days. since I dont really have anything new to talk about, ill talk about this. you'll get posts like this from time to time. it's just random shit that crosses my mind during the day, or night when I'm suffering a mind full of racing thoughts taking me in 30 directions at once.

once upon a time.

going back to my past. at this point it seems like a millions years ago. I closed this chapter in my mid 20's

I was angry and I had no conscience and I was strung out. I started at an early age. I was barely in my double didgets when I committed my first burglary. I did it alone.

my friends and I in gulfport used to sneak out in the middle of the night. we used to rob a candy truck up the street from where I lived. at the end of one summer we were so burned out on candy we threw trash bags of it away. one of my friends and I robbed a houses while the people in it were asleep. we almost got caught.

there used to be a lady that lived up the street. she was married. she used to let us come over to her house and feel her up. her husband came home once and my friend and I had to hide in the closet.

I got drunk and smoked my first joint with those guys.

by the time I was in my mid teens I was hanging out with older people doing any kind of dope I could find.

me and my friends in anahiem were breaking into cars and stealing bikes to get money for drugs. at this point I pretty much stopped going to school.

one night I was walking across the park going to meet my friends when I was confronted by two guys who were really angry at me.

one was yelling at me and the other was standing off to the side. out of the blue he hit me in the face with something. I found out later they were nunchucks. when I regained consciousness there was some girl yelling at them.

turns out a week or so before that my friends and I were under the influence of pcp and some of the older tougher guys started shit with them. I didnt remember because I was lit. but they remembered me.

I was sent to live with my dad in Washington. my mom had enough of me so I moved from anahiem. I was going to be put in "a private school" (placement) for a year while my dad went out to sea. I was supposed to live with him in Jacksonville florida when he got back. he died in transit while we were visiting relatives in kansas for the hollidays.

after about a month my mom picked me up and we went to texas where this school was. I was 16 at the time.

the goose's age.

I was there under a year. I escaped with a friend and hitchhiked to California.

chino

my mom had remarried and moved to chino while I was in Washington and texas.

I moved in with them in the summer of 85.

I didnt live there long. I moved in with a friend and lived in his closet. i used to get high with most of my friends parents. we didnt have to go to school.

I started hanging with the local punks.

I joined a local gang and started going to shows and parties. lots of fights lots of violence.

I remember going to a back yard party in hacienda heights. it was a set up. I got jumped by at least 10 dudes. my friend almost had his throat cut. it was the first time I was shot at.

most of the key members of that gang (middle class kids) graduated high school and went off to college.

a couple of the guys and I went to college too.

we joined another gang from L.A., one that had been around. one that has a reputation. it was the real thing. I did that for about a year or so and decided to get out. I was dealing with being broke and homeless. plus a few months after I got out I had some drama with them. it bums me out to think about it.

after that I took a step back. my chino friends were serious enough. there was a lot of drugs and girls and drugs and parties and drugs... well you get the picture.

I was probably 23 or 24 now.

I had played guitar since I was in my early teens.

a friend offered me a job playing bass in thier band.

a couple of years after that my sister had moved in with my mom with my neice who was maybe 2 or 3 at that time. everyone worked so they needed some to watch her during the day.

it got me off the street.

it was a wild ride, I had to at the very least live 5 to 6 lifetimes in that time period.

of course this is the barest of minimums as far as cliff notes go.

I look on it with mixed emotions. sometimes I'm proud of it.

i look back on those days with a longing. I had power, money, sometimes. most of the time I didn't need it. my family took care of me.

I feel that way when on the rare occasion I speak to some of them. it's kind of like one of those psycho conversations you hear in mob movies when they are talking about horrific shit and laughing and reminiscing like it was an old football game.

did I hurt people. yes.

sometimes I just cringe thinking about it.

at the very least I know what I'm capable of doing. good and bad.

I know my darkside very well.

I am not my past.

I am not that person.

but it made me who I am today.

and I accept it.

I think it made me a better person because I have a unique understanding of poverty, violence' self medication, anger.

dont judge. you weren't in my shoes. you didnt have to live through it. well I take that back there are a couple of you that read this that were there.

I'm not trying to glorify it.

the only reason I'm posting it is because it illustrates some of my background so you as a reader can get to know me better.

isn't that the point.

its record of my time.

here's a song that reminds me of those days.

Running away, something better ahead

But you gotta think fast before it's too late

Just one cut around your head

Just one minute and you'll call me dead

You better watch out for the razors in the night

You better leave out the razors in the night

Backstreet boys wear boots and braces

Razor blades and angry faces

Too much tension, too much fear

What the hell are we doing here

Murder is the biggest prize in sport

Cause violence is the only game you've been taught

A pool of warm blood is your prize

Or a cold blade across your eyes.

if you would like a taste of the 80's as far as the L.A. punk scene went (which was riddled with gang violence) check out this book. keep in mind we all knew each other back in those days ( and if you didn't know the person personally you knew at least 10 if their friends) when it was for real.

one of my favorite jokes is "I was punk rock when it was called HEY FAGGOT.

believe me it was not the popular choice when I got into it. you were hated, and beaten up. now it's just a phase kids through. a fashion trend. it is everything that was despised when it started.

I wasn't in LMP either.

41020

a clockwork orange bedroom scene beethoven

blitz razors in the night

discos out murders in trailer.

[1dimagineclub]

Niall Imagine

** TRIGGER WARNING! This imagine mentions Self Harm and Eating Disorders. This could possibly be a trigger. I don’t know if it is or not but if you are depressed in any way or can’t handle sad things, PLEASE DON'T READ THIS! Please Stay Strong.**

“The Girl that believe in Any Act is Wrong”

Niall came into the class and left his briefcase on the table while the students entered and sat in their respective seat. The last to arrive was, strangely, (Y/N) who smiled shyly closing the door and sitting in the front. Since he began teaching at the high school the last year, she had been by far his best student, her words always kept him stuck until he finished reading her essay or story or work. Each and every one of them. She was not the popular girl in school, as it was Alison, she didn’t attract the attention of the guys (he had never seen one looking at her) and her clothes were a pretty accurate reflection of her personality which she also reflected in her work. She reminded him a bit like a character in a serie that his sister liked, Cassie from Skins, always with clothes that looked from the fifties, always with soft colors and pastel tones, usually wide sweaters and jackets with sleeves that were too long for her. She was the cutest girl he had ever known. He shook his head and began the class.

“Well guys, I would like you to write a special essay, I want to work on descriptions and for this I want you to write one describing yourself. At least one sheet - people started to snort.- I want it for Friday but you can start now.”

(Y/N) opened his notebook and began writing while he was looking at the class, observing students work. He smiled because of how hard they worked on his subject. He knew the fame that had among his students, they all love the professor Horan, perhaps it was because he had graduated long before what a person normally do because he had entered college two years before than normal for being ahead in school and therefore his age was closer to them or maybe it was because he was trying to treat his students as he would have liked to have been treated during his years of school. When he reached the desk of his favourite student he couldn’t restrain himself from standing beside her to see what she was writing and just when (Y/N) was writing the last sentence of the page the sleeve of her sweater was raised to half her forearm revealing a skin covered in wounds and scars. Niall opened his eyes, she looked up and looked scared, he lowered his head and kept walking. The bell rang louder than usual and (Y/N) rushed to collect her things .

“(Y/N), can you stay a few minutes? - she sighed and nodded waiting for the class to empty . - I … I’ve seen your arm …

"Listen Mr. Horan, it’s nothing, don’t worry - her voice was sweet and quiet - I’m fine-she said.”

“No , you’re not ” he closed the door and walked over to her lifting up her left arm sleeve. “This is not a good sign I don’t know what led you to do this to yourself but you know Miss Perkins wouldn’t mind chatting with you” she pulled her arm from his hand aggressively.

“I don’t need to ‘chat’ with anyone, Mr. Horan, and I already told you I’m perfectly fine, now and if you don’t mind, do your job and leave me alone"  she took two steps towards the door.

“I’m your teacher, I didn’t want to get to this point but I want to talk to your parents , if you don’t help me with this, then it’s my duty to alert your parents” she growled .

“Do what you want, you’ll get nothing from my parents” she reached the doorknob turning her head one last time, all the traces of her aggressiveness had disappeared of her face to be replaced by a deep sadness “I thought you were different, Mr. Horan , I was wrong again.”

When school finished that day , Niall asked for (Y/N)’s file for the phone number of the father. A quick call and he got an appointment for the next day at midday . Her father sounded strict and looked surprised for his call, He wasn’t even sure what they would say, in fact he was scared of their reaction. But the next day her parents were promptly in front of his office and he had to talk one way or another.

“Good morning… Well, I wanted to talk to you about your daughter, well, of course I want to talk about your daughter it just that… your daughter” he sounded stupid, his words didn't even make sense and her facer raised and eyebrow “Well I’ve noticed some strange behavior, she doesn’t seem to have friends or … ” his dialogue was interrupted

“Her grades have remained just as high as ever, Mr. Horan” argued his mother.

“Yes but I ’m not here just to talk about ratings , lady, my duty as a teacher …”

“Listen Mr. Horan” interrupts her father now" (Y/N) has kept impeccable notes so far, if that doesn’t change we don’t care, we don’t get into the private life of our daughter , she is already old enough to learn what she has to do. Now if you’ll excuse us , my wife and I have a busy life to attend, (Y/N) you should use the rest of the time to study" her father took her mother ’s hand and they went out of the office, Niall wanted to thank them but he din’t receive a single handshake.

“I said it wouldn’t work, my parents are … special ” she said , her voice soft as always , Niall sat back down .

“I’ll tell you what, I want to help you, (Y/N) , I’m really worried about you, why don’t we go out for a coffee after class and talk ” (Y/N) looked at him, his blue eyes shone, asking for accepting and she nodded.

“Okay, we can talk later.”

“Great, and please , call me Niall.”

“Well then? What do you do on your free time? ” she smiled looking at the table, then lifted her head and looked at him.

“Niall I’m weird , infinitely rare , you wouldn’t understand.”

“Well, try me , most people say I’m very smart ” she laughed,

“I like reading, I like to write , I like to sing , I like Alice in Wonderland , I like weird movies , I hate Disney princesses , I hate sports, I like the rain , I like storms , I like the green , I like clothes, I do not like jewelry , I like jellies, I hate candies , I hate the silence” she whispered" And I think there’s always a wrong thing in any act.

“Those are too many things” he paused.

“Have I gone mad? ” he smiles and quotes the famous book by Lewis Carrol

“I’m afraid so , you’re entirely bonkers . But I’ll tell you a secret, all the best people are." She smiles , a smile he had never seen on her before, as if he’d just give her the best news in the world.

"Curious, very curious” she murmured blushing still quoting the book.

“ Do you do that a lot?”  she lifted her head and looked at him.

“Do what?”

“Quote books” She looked back at the table and shruged.

“I quote everything I love. I like to think I’m a mixture of all the things I love : books, movies, characters , colors, smells and even tastes . I have a pink sweater that reminds me of cotton candy.” He laughed and she laughed with him, she looked as if she had just discovered the sun.

“Okay, good thing , let’s continue with all that list… you like thunderstorms and rain? That doesn’t seem much of your style” she looked at him and smiled bright as a shooting star.

“Well , storms are like me, they are practically unpredictable and powerful and, just like the rain, they are both noisy which means that there is no silence. Silence is awful” he didnt ask why she hated silence.

“You’re a good writer … ” he tested then she turned to look at him, her eyes boring into the depths of his soul.

“Thank you , writing is my best form of expression , I do it all the time, it’s very natural for me.

"Writing is a good way to escape” and with that she knew where he wanted to take it.

“Sounds like you know a lot of ways to escape” he smiled, she didn’t miss a thing.

“It is true, I do know some escape routes.”

“We all have to run at one time or another , don’t we?” He nodded , whenever she talked she seemed to loose literary quotes , she made him want to play guitar and sing again.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“What is yours?” She broke the awkward silence.

“Excuse me?” her eyes sparkled.

“Your escape route, what it is?”

“Music - answered him without even know.

"Do you compose?” She tilted her head to one side, a gesture that indicated she was thinking and the she smiled broadly" I’d like to hear something from you" he sighed.

“Someday, actually right now I’m more interested to talk about these wounds on your arms” (Y/N) ’s expression of joy dissapeared from her face.

“Oh … well , I told you that there’s nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t think that there is nothing to worry about, there must be something that makes you do what you’re doing.”

“I won’t talk about this with you, nor you or anyone else so don’t waste your time” He clenched his jaw .

“Look I’ll tell you one thing” his tone was suddenly hard and she continued to stare at the table “ I’ve been told numerous times that I’m a shit and good for nothing and I learned to realize that many people in this world have the only purpose to hurt us, we are all worth something and when I was deep in my shit no one came to save me and I wished over and over that they did. I didn’t get to the point where you are but I need you to know that I ’m not giving up, I won’t give up on you, I believe in you, I believe you can succeed and do great things, you can’t keep going down, and if no one has ever tended a helping hand, well, here I am to hold you strong” he reached out and grabed her hand “ I won’t let you go, (Y/N), you have to trust me.” She looked at their joined hands and blinked away tears forming on her eyes.

Since that day (Y/N) and Niall spoke every day , of course nobody knew but they began to keep a strong friendship. Niall offered her his home to study and be more comfortable that in the library. On weekends they met at Niall’s house and he helped her with some subjects and watched movies and talked and their friendship became stronger and stronger. Niall received her early on Saturday mornings half asslep in pajama bottoms and then he returned to bed with (Y/N)’s laughing as background. And sometimes, when her parents were on a business trip, she slept at his home wrapped in a lot of blankets ( Niall had learned that her eating disorder forced her to always be very stuffy). The Irish boy learned how to hold her, hugging her from behind and keeping her arms fixed to the sides of her body to prevent her from hurting herself, when her demons returned and she cried looking for something sharp. And he learned to not let her go to the bathroom after eating and he distinguished between the thousands of colors in her eyes when she was sad ,when she had cut herself, when she needed a cuddle. He learned all of it, or almost everything because (Y/N) was infinite, unknowable, but still he learned how she put her hair behind one ear when studying or how she covered her mouth when she laughed. Even one day they discussed her theory that in any act is always something wrong and she won as always because her words were always wise and he couldn’t even think properly in front of her.

“You really think is always something wrong in any act?” She laughed.

“Yes, I belive so” Niall looked at her with an eyebrow raised “What? It’s true! Prove me”

“What is wrong right now? What is wrong in the act of us being here together talking” She smiled wide.

“That’s a very easy one, in our friendship everything is wrong from the way we meet to the fact that I shouldn’t be here: we are teacher and student.” He sighed.

“Well, that’s true… What about a dinner with your parent? What is wrong with that?” She tilted her head thinking but it took her no time to respond.

“I’m not confortable with my parents and they’ll probably say something that will hurt me so… yeah”

“What if I had a girlfriend? What about that?”

“Well, I dont know since I dont know your girlfriend because she doesnt exist… but maybe you’ll hate something about her or maybe she won’t be the one, or maybe your parent don’t like her…”

“Ok, ok, I give up, you win, my wise girl.” And he hugged her tight and kissed her head because that was probably the thing he loved about her the most: her ideas.

Everything was perfect but one day… One day she came home with empty eyes and he knew something was infinitely bad, his special girl sat staring at the sofa and she hold his hand without force. She smiled weakly and snuggled into his chest.

“I’m leaving” she whispered, and a shiver ran through his body .

“What?” he looked into her eyes and she smiled. That was when he knew she had taken a lot of pills. The brunette ’s eyes overflowed with tears when he picked her up and took her to his car to the hospital but she was already unconscious when they arrived . After that day of tears and lavage and whys Niall knew he was in love. (Y/N) woke with an Irish hand clutching hers, she smiled even though her parents had not yet arrived. They were on a business trip, as always, and would not arrive until the next day, they apparently had difficulties to catch a flight .

“What does a raven have in common with a writing desk? ” she asked and he smiled back quoting Alice.

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast… ” she arched her eyebrows letting him continue" One, I’m going to leave my hole, two I will trust everyone, three I will be a teacher for teenagers, four I’ll teach young people the power of words, five I’ll have a favourite student, six I will fall in love with a girl whose words have more power than a sword and whose soul is more broken than mine" she smiled and her smile turned to laughter, laughter accompanied by tears, he stood up and stroked her cheek and then he leaned in and kissed her and there wasn’t a thing wrong in it even though she was the one that believed that in any act is always something wrong.

[ventingoutmyass]

7.23.19

I think I'm ready to talk about it.

I went on a bender this summer because of some deep rooted emotional distress that took a long time for me to find and try to understand. And although I'm still figuring out for myself what it is and exactly what it means, I'm going to do my best to relay it to you.

The year is 2009, I was in my sixth grade classroom. I saw a familiar face walk into the room, a girl that I had met the year before, through a mutual friend. I was the only person she knew in the class so she started to hang out with my friends and I, and we became close very fast and she was soon my best friend. I'm going to refer to her as "N".

N was a little Muslim girl who's family had become very americanized after moving here when she was a toddler, she knew little about her religion and culture and didnt wear a hijab. Her parents spoke broken English and her home life was pretty erratic because of neglect from her parents to her and her two younger siblings who were born in the states.

In seventh grade we became close friends with another old friend of mine, from first grade. I'll call her, "R". The three of us were inseparable. Between 2010 and 2011 the three of us each had very hectic lives outside of school. N's family put a lot of pressure on her to help around the house and take care of her brother and sister while secretly experiencing emotional neglect and verbal and physical abuse from her parents. R's mom had passed about two years prior and she was left with a father who also emotionally and physically neglected her. I was watching my life crumble under me from my parents separation during this time. We rarely talked about the troubles we were having at home, but we were always able to leave them at home because we came to school everyday to be with our best friends.

In eighth grade my two friends each moved to a different school, mostly due to long commutes and experiencing a lot of bullying the year before. We still talked to eachother everyday and got together constantly.

N and I ended up going to the same high school, and spent every moment available together. At one point our freshman year when her parents were separating, she lived with my family for a few weeks. She was always at my house and became a member of my family. My parents took her under their wing and treated her as their own. She was my sister.

Throughout high school we had our ups and downs, at one point junior year our connection was growing weak and then we had our first and only class together for all of high school. We bonded again and our friendship was my top priority. She was always my top priority, especially knowing how stressful life was at home for her. I wanted to be the place that she could be only happy and always feel safe, and that's what my family and I were for her. Her home.

The three of us got together every few months throughout high school, as N and I watched over the years R had began to change into a person we did not recognize. She surrounded herself with bad influences and made poor decisions that I got to see first hand a few times, which often made me take a step back from her.

After graduation we started to drift a bit, just because we didnt see eachother every day and adult life gets in the way. But I still spoke to her almost every day and often saw her on weekends and she spent a lot of holidays with my family. She flew back to Iraq to visit family for a month that summer and bonded a lot with her aunts and cousins. Shortly after coming home she started dating a boy she knew from work and while he wasnt a terrible influence on her, I saw her personality shift a little. She became obsessed with this boy and didnt pay as much attention to me, of course I got jealous but we often made plans to hang out all three of us. Her parents eventually found out about him and they broke up soon after.

The next January, of 2017, she decided to stay with her family in Iraq for seven months. In case you don't remember, shortly after she left, a travel ban was placed from several countries to the US, including Iraq. I begged her to come back while she still could, she refused and assured me that it would get figured out when time came for her to come home. On August 3rd, she made it home. She was much more in touch with her religion and her culture and learned a lot more Arabic including how to read and write it. She began wearing a hijab and dressing much more modestly. She behaved very different and it felt like she was a completely new person. As much as I missed who my old friend was, she was finally happy with her life. That's all I wanted for her, and that's what mattered to me. I saw who she was when she wasnt miserable, for the first time in over seven years.

That August, she met a boy. And to be honest with you, it all goes downhill from there. A few months later, she took a pregnancy test, and it came out positive. She went to the doctor who gave her a real test and when it came out negative, she walked out of the office with a prescription for birth control.

That May two months later, when she never got her period and the symptoms didnt stop, she went back for another test. She was eleven weeks pregnant. Days later, her boyfriends mom told her parents against her wishes. She called me that night sobbing, begging me to take her away. My mom and I raced over to her and I sat in her room as she cried while my mom talked to her parents for over two hours about the situation she was in and the paths they can take. My mom talked them out of sending her to China to get sewn back up after an abortion. We went back home without her that night, the first of many regrets I have.

I talked to her about the two realistic options we could think of.

Take the baby and run away somewhere that her parents wouldnt be able to find her. We had countless people reach out to help her and offer her places to stay and people to help with the baby.

Get an abortion and continue to keep her siblings and distant family in her life

She wanted what she wanted. She wanted her boyfriend, her baby, and her family. I told her there was no way to have it all. She wouldnt listen to me or my mom who knew very well the situation she was in and who her family were. She would only listen to advice from people who told her what she wanted to hear. People who knew nothing about her family or the dangerous situation she put herself in. She chose to live in a fantasy world where she could prepare for having a baby and announce it to everyone who would listen. In the frustration and exhaustion, I gave up. I accepted that anything I said or did wouldn't affect any choice she would make. I was emotionally drained as well as my family. I told her that I would be there as soon as she would ask for my help and I stopped bugging her about it. She didn't call me again. Another big regret of mine.

She soon got an abortion against her will. In her grievance, she went back to Iraq that July. I didnt talk to her much at all after she left. Initially I was told it would be until the fall. At the end of September I asked her when she expected to come home. She said either October or November. She never came home and I've never heard from her since.

I've lived my life alone since then. I had lots of other friends and a loving boyfriend by my side and my family was always there, but I always felt empty. A piece of me was always missing. By May of 2019, I had pushed away all of my friends and my boyfriend and I broke up. Nothing mattered to me anymore. I felt so alone that I pushed my family away as well. Loneliness had swallowed me whole.

That only thing that made me feel anything was this boy I had made friends with from work and I spent every single moment with him for about a month and a half. I didn't know why this was happening to me. I didn't know why I didn't care about anyone or anything else. I felt no emotions and nothing mattered. I went to work every day, and went to his house to get high and feel anything I could. He made me feel alive in a time that I couldn't feel anything else at all. I couldnt even think straight enough to realize what was really going on.

I felt such an intense loneliness that I couldnt spare myself for anything that wasn't completely easy. I never went home because I couldn't handle facing something that I couldn't even see. It meant facing reality and facing myself. I got sick again. I couldn't think. It was like I forgot how to think. I didn't give myself time to write. I didn't allow myself to be free of any distractions for weeks. I was always at work, or high, or with this boy. Usually, all three. I wanted to live in this world I had created for myself to mimick what I remembered happiness felt like.

The loneliness slowly started to kill me. It wasn't until about three weeks ago that I started to realize that something huge was going on with me and that I needed to figure it out and deal with it so I could get back to living a normal life.

I realize that losing the one person I always promised to keep, hit me hard. The one person I trusted to stay with me until the day I die is gone and I will never get that person back. It was supposed to be her and I against the world. My forever, my person. I promised to always protect her. I promised her that I would be there for every single thing she needed. I gave up on her. I gave up and lost her. I have the live the rest of my life never knowing what I could've done different. Thinking the rest of my life about what I should have done. Everything I didn't think about doing. I should've take her that night. I never should've left her side. I should have quit my job to be next to her through the turmoil. Nothing matters because I don't want to live in a world where she doesn't exist. I can't function through heartache without her to feel it with me

I have to learn to live in a world without my best friend

[lokisvillainy]

So 2019 really is the year of karma... 

There was his girl who was my best friend from elementary to high school, she had no friends, she was very shy and intelligent and that attracted me because I couldn’t stand people who talked endlessly with nothing good to say. She was grumpy as fuck but I managed to win her friendship because she was new at the school and wanted to make friends. 

We became so close! Always visiting each other’s houses, going to the mall together as teenagers do, texting, telling each other about our lives. In the first year of high school she became sicker and sicker and had to be sent to São Paulo to be tested and treated because she was diagnosed with an auto immune disease.

We went to a private school and sat on different spots because even though she was a genius, literally a genius, she liked to sit on the back and I liked to sit in the front row. When she got sick I would not stop looking back to check on her. One time I saw her crying from pain but was the only person to notice because it was so subtle and I knew her so well, so I left my chair without permission to go sit by her side. I held her hand through the crisis and we shared the same spot.

Our math teacher told me to go back but I said ‘no’ to a teacher for the first time in my life. My friend asked me to go back and I said ‘no’. She didn’t want to miss the class, but how would she pay attention anyway? I stayed there until she admitted she needed to go home, so we both left the class and I waited with her until her mother picked her up.

She was everything to me, like the sister I never had. We were really really close and she was mean to everyone else because she could never bear them for too long. She won the math and physics olympics every year and studying was her main focus. I was the only friend she actually cared to keep around. 

When we were about to graduate things changed, she stopped contacting me out of school as much and was rude whenever I said things about keeping in touch. She was really shitty to me in many occasions and since she was my best of friends I continued trying, and she was pushing me away. I felt lost because I loved her like a sister and with the end of school and no effort on her end to see me, we would probably move on with our lives.

She never answered my messages and when we met at school she said she was busy and that we didnt need to talk that much. I was upset and I told her that, maybe I was too needy. She posted things on facebook about friendships that demanded attention and that real friends never demand it, you’re just there for each other all the time. I thought ‘maybe she’s right’ and stopped reaching out. 

At that point I moved to college in a different city, before leaving I suggested ‘I’ll message you when I’m in town so we can hang out together’ and she told me she’d be too busy but I could try. 

I didn’t, I’d had enough.

Second year of college, she messaged me to tell me she missed me and that she would try to find time in her calendar for me. I was so indignant I didn’t even reply to that. 

5 years later, we both graduated, last week, she sent me a video of the two of us singing together and playing guitar when we were 16. We are 24 now. I could feel she was feeling nostalgic. I said it was nice, but didn’t attempt much conversation because...?? It’s been a long time and I didn’t want to fall into that pit of bad memories.

Last night she sent long messages telling me she misses my friendship and that even though she is aware we are not the same people, that she wants it back. She said we don’t even need to be as intimate as we were before, because she is not in a good moment to be a ‘decent friend’. So her pride is hurt, but she misses me. She offers it and withdraws it. I can still read her so well after so many years it’s hysterical, honestly. I didn’t open her messages nor replied because I worked until 9 pm and got home at 11. I was tired.

This morning she sent “I get the message, sorry I appeared out of the blue like this’ and I explained that I was tired and needed to reply properly after being rested... I said I don’t mind being friends with her and that we are indeed not the same people we were in the past. That’s all I said, even though I could have said a lot more. I’m not about to kick a dead dog.

I like her but I’m very apprehensive, I’ve suffered so much because of this friendship break up. It taught me a lot though... taught me not to be so clingy and so needy, taught me that friends come and go and that’s just fine. But I was still surprised that she misses me after so many years when I actually moved on from the whole thing.

I was a really good friend to her and I used to be there all the time, we travelled together, texted for hours, we liked the same stuff and had similar problems. I wonder if she ever got to find something similar in her life.

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one. 

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.) 

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask) 

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone 

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes 

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time 

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red 

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes 

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried 

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately 

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way 

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter 

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met. 

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2. 

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day. 

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults 

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off 

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing 

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men 

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius 

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....” 

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered 

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum 

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now 

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once 

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings 

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times 

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me 

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people 

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died:  Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long 

Do you believe in… 77. yourself?  Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day? 

78. Miracles?  sometimes 

79. love at first sight?  I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew 

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well 

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry 

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange 

84. Eye colour:  Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did 

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too.