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We looked inside some of the posts by blazeflappybirdrants and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
114
Likes Per Post
86
Reblog Per Post
28
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
2 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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Sometimes I feel like the stupidest sibling (of all my family members, bio or chosen)
Its not anyones fault, and shouldnt be a bad thing because I think its just true, just sometimes it makes me upset with myself ;v;
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I honestly just want to end everything rn. Idc how I just want it to stop. Im too overwhelmed let me turn off for a bit
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Hate feeling guilty for making plans. Hate that everything I can give without being miserable is never enough. Just wanna help spend time with everyone and have noone mad or worried bout it :[[
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NEVERMIND WE'RE SO BACK
Guess we aren't calling today then :[
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Guess we aren't calling today then :[
#They said we would as their brother gets taken back to uni#but they haven't talked to me for a while (like 20 mins) and the gaps keep getting bigger#I genuinely hope they're getting good work done or dinner or something it just sucks that they said we could call today and then we didnt#they didnt promise though so im not mad at them just a little sad#I do get to see them tomorrow tho yay
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Wish I had adderal or something, I need to have something to keep my thoughts on track and not all over the place so I dont keep forgetting things and people and making them feel shit
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3/1/25
I hope they didnt find helping me draining today. I'd hate to be like her
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You know its not good when your oblivious parents realise youre feeling shit. I just hope they dont think its because of my partner
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30/12/24
Dont deserve them
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Don't look i dont want people to consoled me rn bcs i dont deserve it
Nothing ever works anymore, probably because Im too fucking stupid to know what time it is and when events are and then I just hurt people again and again and again and i dont deserve either of them, or anyone really, my house is a tip and i hurt people either emotionally or physically and it doesnt matter how "good" I am because the second i fuck up haha nah fuck you Ive just made people think of me less and for good reason and I just scare people and think i dont love them
everytime i see them this happens, I see them, fuck up with them, come back and turns out ive fucked up with my brothers, then what should be a good day is fucking ruined by me. like everything. i ruin everything and deserved what she did at this point. I should have let her isolate me so i didnt hurt anyone like I am now. I dont deserve my partner and i dont deserve my brothers and its good my irl friends dont message me because i dont deserve to be close with them either.
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29/12/24
Lowkey want to kill myself but its chill because I wont try to, and I refuse to do something to hurt myself. Just why am I in so much emotional pain rn I dont understand
#Realistically its because I'm finally learning to not supress my feelings for the first time in 2/3 years but like still#I'm literally so happy with them and get to talk to my brothers a ton now and I'm literally so happy when I do that#Why am I too depressed to get up. Ever. Unless my partner wants to see me or because I have to. I have so much to do I need to do things
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28/12/24
Ffs its not like they don't love you or anything you know that, its that they just find it mid you literally feel the same way stop being so sad about it omg dude
Its not the end of the world and you prefer hugs over it anyway?????? You feel the exact same way stop feeling so sad why are you about to cry about this youre both literally asexual and you agree with them omg
#at myself lol#rant post#Im laughing at myself in a not bad way now so like?? i feel better ish now?
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28/12/24
Hate myself and wanna cry :[[ Dont know why it bothers me so much I literally feel the same way about it why do i give so many shits Im turning into her i dont want to do that to them I wanna cry they deserve so much better fuck
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27/12/24
Praying every second of every day I am enough for them all. Praying I'm the perfect partner and the perfect brother and that they all know how much I adore them all and would do anything for them all. That they know that they could hyperfixation rant about anything on this earth and I'd listen with all the joy in the world. That they all know how desperate I am not to hurt a single one of them and even the thought tears me apart
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Maybe I just want to be something that could justify my existence.
I want to be special, so I could deserve love.
Maybe I can finally deserve love if my existence doesn't feel so meaningless.
If I wasn't such a burden, then maybe I can be loved.
I want to be easy to love.
My flaws are making it harder so.
I am difficult.
It feels wrong to desire something as great as love.
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