#bc of aforementioned loss

[nanabanonana]

i don't understand not reblogging what you like. like if you're not reblogging, what is even the point of being on tumblr? this is genuinely confusing. if you only like to "like" things, isn't instagram exactly what you're looking for? why are you Here.

hell, twitter is a better option than tumblr.

also how do you find anything to see it again? i reblog and tag w my own little labels and then i can go to my blog and revisit things i like by clicking the tags.

how do you do that w "likes".

everything is just gone in the graveyard of your likes.

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

why exactly is geto such a good character?

(not compared to naoya but using naoya as an example lol. i have no opinion on naoya other than that hes apparently a misogynist but some ppl like him for some reason idk.)

geto is arguably jjk's best written character —which isnt an indictment of naoya but an anime only's premature opinion lol— and a testament to jjk's initial narrative strength. reducing geto's motives down to toji massively undermines the layers that catalyzed his breakdown, which ultimately, was loss and disempowerment leading him to break. it was him being unable to reconcile his moralistic outlook with the mechanistic nature of jujutsu society and the utter dehumanization it demanded of its sorcerers, it was his disdain for the self-sustaining nature of human vice and negativity and its perpetuation of their system of futile sacrifice and loss.

this disdain stems from the bleak reality of being surrounded by its grimiest depths, by the thanklessness of choosing platitudes and lofty ideals for those who spit in your face for it, who exploit you, objectify you. which is why amanai dying is what truly began his undoing, the personification of everything he believed to be worth fighting for snuffed unthinkingly by those he's told are too feeble to know better. its the malignance of pure ppl like haibara dying while evil endures, of the godless nature of being a sorcerer, and how its ungoverned and unphased by any morality or goodness or purity. and why it ended with him discovering the girls in the cage, the most innocent of society, who couldn't have possibly deserved it, who were persecuted for their nature, the actual people endangered for it. its him flipping the ontological framework jujutsu society operates on, questioning why they have to pay for humanity's vices and fallibility, why they cant fight back too, prioritize their own pitfalls, and thusly him giving gravitas to humanity's evil underbelly. while also recognizing the strength and brilliance of sorcerers and choosing to be selfish with this excellence, self-serving instead of self flagellatory, not leaving them to be fed to the beast of human weakness but instead unabashed in their talents and strength. bc at every turn he's told to temper himself, to fight for goodness, but is only ever met with cruelty, haunted by sorcerers' disenfranchisement looming over him.

contradictory to his newfound ideals, geto chooses family and love by vowing to sacrifice humanity instead, he reframes gojo and all those relegated cogs in the jujutsu machine to the ppl really worth fighting for, as precious enough to matter, to be sacrificed for. its why he forms a pseudo family while pursuing his plans, and why he embodies such a performative personality thereafter, bc ideals consume geto. he has to expunge himself of humanity and embody hatred bc that's whats contrary to his former ideals and disposition. that's what he thinks he has to be. but when the heart of his wants shine through, when he allows himself grace around those close to his heart, we see the core of who he is and always has been shine through (e.g at his death scene). geto sees vulnerability and sympathy as inherent to humanity and the things indenturing sorcerers to them, despite his fight for sorcerers being grounded in fighting for the weak, but he doesn't want to give into that human aspect to his motivations. he wants to determine his own future, beholden to no one. (e.g the reason he fights against kenjaku, and is given strength by gojo's words)

now naoya very well may be a better character and commentary on jujutsu society than geto, but using his attire as reason for it isnt exactly equivocal to the aforementioned layers i've outlined. geto's brilliance is in how aptly they condensed all these angles relative to his screen time. now that doesnt mean he's beyond critique: his characterization post-defection is a bit too caricatured for me, and amanai wasnt utilized to the extent that she could've been to complicate his motivations and expand/clarify his thoughts on humanity, plus his plan to exterminate humanity is just as futile as his former sorcerer work, but thats the point. that ideals are fallible and often arbitrary, and that being governed by them can be detrimental and self-destructive. geto wanted to protect those he cared abt above everything, and conjured smth just as grand and insurmountable as the jujutsu system to rival it without taking into account how that obfuscated things, that ultimately, ideals weren't ever what was important, but actually those around him. bc in actuality, what he's doing doesnt center them, it centers him. he who literally tasted the rot and gore of humanity, took it into his body and used it as a weapon for their service, until that poison metastasized and he vowed to amputate his brokenness, without realizing that he'd just opted for another poison instead. he's a tragic character.

having said that, you dont have to care abt him. but he's defintely not badly written lol.

[kurvinitty]

wriothesley 👁️ 👁️ as your soulmate

( * ₊ 🦋◞ ˚ ) ⠀ ⪼ ⠀soulmate au drabbles. ( open )

tags. ⠀ ⪼ ⠀ 1.5k wc, reader works as an engineer, swearing lol, not proofread bc i'm eepy and going to bed now

notes. ⠀ ⪼ ⠀ listen to colors by halsey while reading this bc i think it fits rlly well !! anyway this may be ooc but do i care? no. i only care about he.

You can only see colour when your soulmate is with you and you’re touching. This gives a whole new meaning to them bringing colour to your world.

Who knew that out of all places, a prison would be where your world of grey would suddenly burst into bouts of colour?

As an engineer, you were stuck fixing & maintaining things more often than actually creating them. Your colleagues sometimes pitied you, as your already monotonous world made your job even harder. Those lucky enough to have found their soulmate are not only favoured by cupid’s bow, but also by whoever delegated your working tasks.

You wouldn’t lie — it pissed you off. Yet at the same time, you were aware that it was much safer dispatching someone who could identify a cable’s colour before installing them. However, that still did little to soothe your frustrations.

It’s also what had lead to you being stuck with more tedious tasks — maintenance and routine inspections. Despite all this, you still loved your job — and you’d be damned if your peers’ mocking pity would bring you down.

Ironically, it was due to them that you’d get what you were looking for all this time.

To beckon the call of help from the Fortress of Meropide was definitely not your field of expertise, yet you were still the one who answered. Due to the aforementioned reasons, it was also your first time setting foot on the premise. The prison’s damp walls added a chill to the already eerie atmosphere, and you now regret not taking your coat with you. The gardes were kind enough to escort you to the administrator’s office, saving you the pain of navigating this labyrinth on your own.

You flinch at the sound as the garde opens the door, holding it open for you to enter. Only now do you realise how tense you’ve been so far — the temperature undoubtedly having played its hand in it. Archons, you couldn’t wait to get out of this place.

With a thankful nod towards your escort, you step inside the room, Wriothesley already expecting you. Before you could fully enter, the man was already on his feet to receive you. Well prepared — as expected of him.

You have heard many things about the Duke, rumours both good & bad — but you’ve never had the chance to confirm them yourself. But now that you stand before him, you think you understand why everyone respected him greatly — no matter their personal opinion of him. At a glance, you could tell that an air of authority accompanied his every step, and you feel yourself subconsciously shrinking before the man.

Should he notice, he doesn’t say a word though. Quite the opposite, in fact, as he seems quite relieved when you finally arrive.

“You’re the engineer we requested, I assume?”

He speaks matter-of-factly, yet he also sounds… quite friendly? You didn’t know what to expect of the man, but you were sure it was closer to ice cold apathy, rather than the soft-spoken silk you experience now.

The first words this man had ever spoken to you, and you were already at a loss for words. Both because you didn’t know how to explain the situation, and also due to Wriothesley himself. While the first impression he made was better than expected, you were sure you’d somehow manage to piss him off in the next second. But then again, was it really your fault?

You clear your throat, fumbling over the words, before you settle on something to say. “Well, uh- yes I am.”

It’s evident how the Duke senses your hesitation and raises and eyebrow in question. Where he once looked at you in relief, his expression now falters and his eyes scrutinize you with suspicion.

Oh, you’re fucked.

Heat floods your body in embarrassment, your mind now drawing an even bigger blank as you desperately try to backtrack. “With that I mean— I am an engineer, but I doubt the work here will be within my expertise,” you sheepishly explain as the words escape your mouth in a single breath. What an absolute wonderful way to start off this interaction. “I am terribly sorry.”

You have half the mind to bow in apology, for an inconvenience that wasn’t even your fault. Doing your colleague’s dirty work was one thing, but your company being under staffed was a whole other issue.

But Wriothesley only shakes his head. Though you could swear you saw his face drop in annoyance for a split second, you felt like there was no need to worry when he next spoke. “It’s alright. I’m just glad there’ll be someone to look at it. This stuff has been giving me trouble all week already.” his hand moves up as he sweeps it over his forehead in exasperation, fingers combing through his thick dark hair. And for the Archon’s sake, you wanted to do nothing more to curse out loud when he did that. Even more so when you catch yourself examining his features more closely now, with your eyes lingering on his for a moment longer than they should. You wonder what colour his hair may be — dark, for sure — but there was only so much you could determine with a world full of grey.

You’re here to work, not to admire pretty men.

Pretty.

It took you more self-restraint than you’d like to admit to not slap yourself.

“Anyway, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced yet,” the man continues, thus effectively pulling you out of your self-loathing session. His hand reaches out toward you, an invitation for you to reciprocate in kind. “Wriothesley.”

Surely, you wouldn’t be able to mess up a simple handshake, right?

You waste no time to clasp your hand in his & tell him your name, your dainty digits being engulfed by the rough and calloused skin of his own. And in that moment, you felt as if time had completely stopped.

It wasn’t due to the feeling of his skin coming in contact with yours. As much as one could sing songs about how the touch of your soulmate could invigorate & keep you warm for a thousand winters to come — it wasn’t the case for you. The catalyst for sure, but the event that followed was worth your song.

The moment your hand touched Wriothesley’s, you didn’t even feel it. The only thing you felt was the feeling when your world suddenly filled with colour. All it took was the blink of an eye, and you were in a whole different world. You stare at the man before you, your mouth hanging wide open while you were freeze in shock. There was so much new information to process, but your eyes & mind could only focus on him. You can’t exactly pinpoint all the new colours you see, but the first thing you notice is his eyes.

You weren’t the only one at a loss for words, and even if you tried — you could not pry your gaze away from holding his. His eyes don’t look much different than they did before, actually. They’re naturally blessed with a light colour, but now you notice all the different shades and hues within them. Does he know what colour his own eyes are? Do you know yours? For all you know, anyone you asked could have been lying to you so far.

You also notice how his pale face now gains the slightest bit of colour, and you wonder if he sees the same with you.

Honestly? If time would allow it, you’d stay like this forever. But of course, it’s the man you’re supposed to spend eternity with that would deny your wish.

“Let’s get started then, shall we?”

And he acts as if nothing happened.

You, on the other hand, are still in the process of digesting this experience. Before you knew it, his grip on your hand loosened, until it completely fades away and your vision is plunged back into an array of black & white.

“Wait, I—” The words slip out of your mouth before you could stop yourself, your body almost acting on it’s own accord to wrap your hand around his wrist again. Now that you’ve gotten a taste of this — of him — you desperately want your world to burn up once again, like a new hunger that begs to be satiated. Did he not feel the same? Did you just imagine it?

It seems like Wriothesley took notice of your crestfallen expression. He doesn’t back away, yet he doesn’t come closer either. Instead, he speaks — in a tone so beautiful & soft, you can scarcely believe it’s real.

“I think we’ve got more than enough time to talk later.”

© KURVINITTY '23 — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. || DO NOT plagiarize my work or steal any graphics, as they are either purchased, commissioned or edited by me unless specified. | support divider

[the-wxter-is-fine]

Okay lukewarm take but I need to get it out of my system *hands you old blood-splattered knife that was used to kill nuns* I am tired of the largely agreed upon ideology that James Potter is this sunshine golden people-pleasing emotionally mature kid who is understanding and empathetic and kind and heroic and yada yada. He isn't one of my faves but... He was immature and spoiled goddamn it! He was raised in a LOVING rich pureblood household where throughout his childhood he was probably given everything and anything he broke was fixed using a magical stick. He was just as immature and rash and reckless as Sirius! He certainly didn't have the emotional maturity to understand both sides of Regulus and Sirius' broken relationship at that young age, a headcanon that is shared by a large portion of the fandom and is a basis for Jegulus' blooming relationship in many fics. He would only know Sirius' side and how SIRIUS got hurt by it. Leaving his family, that is. James would HATE Regulus, because he's bigoted pretentious blood-purist stuck-up selfish weak and everything that Sirius tells him he is. James also wouldn't understand that by constantly pursuing Lily he made her uncomfortable, just like he didn't understand that what he did to Snape was borderline harassment. By making James into a sunshine humble boy you are making his character one-dimensional. He was cocky and self-assured and didn't always understand that the things he said or did actually hurt people!

And Regulus? NO ONE gets under James' skin quite like Regulus can. Jegulus is literally the blueprint for enemies to lovers and I mourn the loss everyday. I'm talking glares across the hallways, jibes and insults when they brush shoulders, constant arguments, quidditch rivals, threats to unalive each other all that shit. Tension crackles when they enter a room. If everyone knew Jily would happen someday, no one could ever in their wildest dreams imagine Jegulus.

Now back to just James bc apparently this post is James-centric. I think the aforementioned characterisation of fanon James stems from him being the perfect masculine, similar to the way Lily is seen as the perfect feminine. At the time Joanne wrote the HP book series the ideal trope was straight white hot jock x straight white hot valedictorian - basically straight out of a nineties rom-com. Canon James is handsome, smart, sporty, a bully turned good, a bit of a daredevil and a good father. Canon Lily is also beautiful, also smart, kind, take-no-shit, loyal, and a good mother. Meanwhile fanon James is sunshine, golden, perfect, mature and a people pleaser. All things we like in real men today. To me though it makes him altogether a less compelling character and, like I said, one-dimensional. Let him be awful, and let him become better. It's called character growth.

Personally, I like a Jegulus-leaning James (well, I like a Jegulus-leaning EVERYTHING), who is a bit spiky and rough around the edges from being with Regulus for so long. Who doesn't take shit from people. Like, Lily (more like the ideal of her) can show James the place the world carved out for him, a nice, normal, safe place, but Regulus can make him question everything he thought he knew.

Anyways conclusion: don't ruin potentially excellently written characters like this, be better than the terf that wrote them

[plasmometer]

What's your interpretation of Chaos?

If you had your way how would Chaos, Chaos corruption, and their relationship to the warp work? How would psykers, faith, and Chaos corruption change? How would their role in the grand narrative of 40k change? How might this change or recontextualize things like the Horus Heresy, the fall of the Eldar, the Sabbat wars, and the fall of Cadia/Cicatrix Maledictum?

okay.

chaos should work as pagan spiritualism. we have spirits(daemons), that are the embodiment of a concept or an event, and they act according to their nature. they don't need your goddamn soul, bc they have no free will or desires, they are unchangeable. but. if the soul is close to the aforementioned concept, it will be pulled in by the "gravity" and become a part of it. so the daemons will absolutely influence mortals to gain that astral mass and be more stable.

astral presence warps the body and mind. it generally warps it in the directions your "soul spikes" are pointing - new body will be better at things you like or do constantly. once your mind can't handle the change any more, your "soul spikes" change directions aimlessly - you become a chaos spawn. if you know what you want and your resolve is strong - it won't happen.

every use of warp powers is a fair exchange - although you don't always know what is taken from you. always keep that in mind and track all your losses, psyker. deals with daemons work the same - they are pure astral matter, not a creature, even if they look like one. remember that, summoner.

god-emperor is nothing but a big warp presence as well - and it works just the same with him, except you don't get any cool mutations, and live a boring life full of shame and regrets. i mean, if your soul wants it, then alright, but eh... i judge you. find something you personally are aligned with, not forced into.

chaos is ambivalent. it just so happens that death causes a huge emotional output. not all deaths are equal though. one of the millions slaughtered by a chaos space marine means nothing besides the fact of death - unlike someone's first murder done by a glass chard in self-defence. your rivals have to be the same size of you, or bigger - or there is no astral output.

i am not well-versed in 40k history, so you gotta figure things out yourself based on the provided concepts.

thank you for a good question!

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

"an ask about the view of Vampires in the fictional world you created for the book you wrote/am kinda still working on (that may never be published but shush) wherein Vampirism is considered a chronic health condition caused by a blood-living parasite"

so curious to hear about this lol

Ahh thanks for the ask!!

Okay so for a smidgen of context it’s a modern fantasy setting with the key species living together in this particular society being: Humans, Witches, Seers, and Elves. There are more species globally and species that commonly migrate to the this society include Fae and Wizards, but the aforementioned 4 are all native to the focus country and make up the bulk of its population (Witches being the highest %, then Elves, Seers, Humans. Long story short the Elves were there first but the country is currently ruled by the Witches and their monarchy)

Vampirism is a blood-borne parasitic condition transmitted via skin-breaking bites causing cross contamination of blood and/or blood and saliva. The condition only affects Humans. An infected individual experiences pretty classic vampire traits but I think the best way to do this is to go through them in a list explaining how they happen in this world and what impact they have on the individual:

Elongated & sharpened canines. The infected individual loses their original teeth post infection, whether they are adult teeth or not, and replacement teeth that serve the parasite’s purposes of spreading between hosts are grown. This can be quite a traumatic experience for individuals particularly because of the associations with what this leads to, as well it being painful. The loss of teeth is sudden, with parasite activity causing quick severance of roots, but regrowth can take much longer. Mutated forms of the parasite can also lack the ability to differentiate between types of teeth, causing the loss and regrowth of multiplie or seemingly randomly placed teeth.

Aversion to sunlight. Infected individuals are unable to safely interact with UV rays and subsequently have to intake high supplementary doses of vitamin D. Movement throughout the day and through most public services is rendered far more difficult. Many individuals turn to protective clothing such as headscarves and gloves, whilst others choose to limit their movements to nocturnal hours - most are most likely to find the balance that works for them between these two options. Parasols are popular in summer, as are large sunglasses to protect eyes unused to bright sunlight. This also brings in the stereotypical paleness of vampires; their skin is paler than whatever their natural pigmentation should be bc they are severely vitamin D deficient.

Allergy to silver. The reason that vampires are said not to appear in mirrors is because mirrors were originally made with silver, which folklore dictates is too pure a metal to interact with anything ‘demonic’ (eg vampires, werewolves, etc). However, our modern mirrors (and because I see no reason for it to be otherwise, the modern mirrors of this fantasy world) are now made with aluminium and therefore vampires would be visible in a looking glass unless it were a silver antique. The silver allergy is still present, with direct contact to the metal causing hive outbreaks and potential throat closure depending on the individual. Long periods of exposure to large amounts of silver can be massively energy draining, and in the past were used to construct illegal containment chambers to imprison innocent but infected individuals. Whilst the use of such measure is now massively reduced and restricted by law, they do still exist for the event of absolutely necessary protection of others from an infected individual attempting to attack them (note - the individual may not be able to control their actions, as I’ll cover shortly, and so it is avoided to all desperate measures not to harm them unless they regain full consciousness and still express illegal violent actions, hence these prison chambers being preferred over use of weapons like silver bullets)

Immortality/Undead. I’m also going to use this one to explain unnatural/faster-than-human healing abilities. The classic vampire is a form of the undead (usually killed by the bite of another vampire but can also be formed by sorcery or, fun fact, according to Britannica some sources suggest that a vampire can be created if a cat jumps over a corpse) and has a particular type of immortality wherein they can be killed but cannot die of any natural cause. In my fictional world, what we’re looking at here is essentially parasitic immortality; the parasite will live for as long as it bas a host, and its evolution perfectly predisposes it to this because it’s very actions cause an unnaturally elongated life span in the individual it has infected. It’s important to acknowledge that Human and parasite are not living in symbiosis - ie they are not gaining something from each other and giving each other something in return, instead one thing is taking from the other for its own benefit without providing anything as a trade offer. Immediately post-infection, there are two species battling for control of the same body and eventually one of them (the parasite) will win. With proper medication, support, and care, an infected individual can maintain majority control of their body until their natural Human life cycle comes to an end. Control is not perfect and there are likely to be periods, the length and frequency of which are dependent on the individual, where they have little control over their actions whatsoever and are driven entirely by the parasite’s control and its drive to consume blood for energy and reproduce inside other hosts. Eventually, the Human will no longer have the strength or capacity to fight off the parasite; they will effectively become an undead creature, their otherwise lifeless body existing purely as a puppet host for the parasite to live, feed, and reproduce. From infection onwards, the presence of the parasite prevents death from natural causes so unless actively killed the host is forced to play their role for the rest of their existence. Once they have their puppets the parasites generally prevent the body from decaying, but in some events this will happen and the parasite will either die of move in its entirety into a new host instead of just reproducing inside it.

Thus far, there is no known cure to Vampirism. Infected individuals tend to go through many rounds of medication, because the parasite will quickly learn to fight off anything it can. The exact origins of the condition are unknown, but the suspicion is that it was an ancient attempt at Human immortality gone awry - after all, if the Human were able to live in symbiosis with a creature that resided in their blood to fight off any and all life-threatening infection and prevent physical aging or eventual decay the result would be revolutionary. But the impossibility of containing the condition without causing significant harm to afflicted individuals makes it a constant threat, and there is also consistent fear of it eventually crossing the species barrier and infecting others as well.

My book features one main/kinda main character with Vampirism, a fourteen-year-old who was bitten at 12. Whilst laws are a complex area to handle in terms of protecting the wider population and protecting vampires, there is no ambiguity whatsoever in the illegality of biting and subsequently turning a child or any Human under the age of 26.

Okay I think that’s everything I have off top of my head but thank you so much for the ask bc I love talking about this and if anyone has any questions about vampires in this world or anything if else about the world please feel free to ask bc I love talking about it and even though I’ve kind of shelved this book atm I love the world so much and I really want to keep it alive enough to go back to it in writing one day!

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

yes... degree of feeling Lost/purposeless after satsuki's death mayhaps....... im nodding @ u so badly !

w keisuke and the ira fam my thoughts were like

-okay. someone Else has to have died. with a group that large, satsuki can't be the only loss. there won't be 20+ people all happy and fine... at least One smaller group split off, someone went by themselves and no one in the fam ever heard from them again, etc etc.

-i think keisuke is the only member of the fam who works at the foundation, like #to me that's what's real. there may be others who work in fields sponsored by/related to the foundation (e.g. working in agriculture in land "owned" by the kisa foundation as much as such property still exists), but keisuke is the only one Directly involved, like has a foundation id and etc.

-bc of the aforementioned prior deaths/splinterings, and keisuke being the most involved w satsuki, he far and away has the most reason to go w the kisa foundation. they were there in 6.5, it's headed by kg survivors, who both knew satsuki in her final moments, and having experienced it have more of a... "they know what happened, they know what shouldve been done to stop it"

i think keisukes just so.. it went from finding satsuki -> coping w what happened to her by working against the despair that caused it. it's such a crux of what drives him, and something that's so unique to him, i just.. i can see him drifting apart from the other siblings and them Letting him ? i do think theres 1-3 people he still sees. at least once a year, w one being every few months.. but really the days are just kinda passing for him. i keep wanting to compare his state to a Condition but i truly don't think its derealization or dysthymia i think he's just Detached. (giving him a sibling to live w sounds so fun though i see u so so so bad)

Speaking of siblings and iranami family death, i have another fanmade sibling who died in the tragedy. And i can probably imagine up another who also died.

Nyways, i understand him feeling detatched and empty. Death of someone youre close to is unbearable. Maybe he had a hard time eating after finding out about her death? Especially if Rei told him more details about why she died. Not just that she killed haruhiko, but that they were all starving in the ballroom. Maybe she removes the detail that satsuki and haruhiko had eaten most of the food, maybe not.

So learning that she basically died over food makes him less hungry and more bitter. Maybe he stares at something hes meant to eat and thinks "satsuki died over this?"

And, building off of one of your headcanons, this was the only time he willingly ate seafood without sauces and seasonings. Because everything had lost its flavor to him. Everything was dull to him.

For even more angst, how about this;

When he begins to recover from his grief, he goes outside, onto a roof, and stargazes. There seems to be a bunch of new stars that he can spot, but one shines brighter than the rest. He smiles and murmurs; "i always knew you'd be the brightest star," talking to satsuki(or the ghost of her) like shes right next to him.

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Kaeya headcanons

i'm speedrunning this before work while my breakfast is cooking so BEAR WITH ME, i have SO MANY thoughts on my bbgrl

current list of h/c's: - ice skater kaeya, i will die on this hill. will have a post abt that one day b/c there's so much to it that i want to scream abt and Thoughts (tm) to be had (like him getting flustered??? OUGH i need to restrain myself) - speaking of flustered, he's really good at keeping his cool (pun fully intended, fight me) and he typically is the one who CAUSES the flustering. smooth af and KNOWS it - he likes to cause chaos and mayhem. a bit of a gremlin. mischievous man. perhaps a tad prankster in his bones. playful teasing bastard and has a lot of fun w/ it.

- cold hands. nothing more. - when push comes to shove, Kaeya's the guy w/ the plan. like genuinely he's incredibly strategic and has the main plan, and like two or three back up plans. it's not even like an anxiety thing he just wants to be prepared, and he makes them up pretty last minute. - he's kind of an assassin-style character, y'know? not as much of a main fighter as he is a sneaky backstabber. roguish and charming but can and will yeet u type deal right??? - LOYAL to a GODDAMN FAULT. i TRULY believe this man's loyalty is unshakeable. like he'd do anything for the people he cherishes the most. and if he perceives u as a threat??? a threat to the things he cares about?????? ur on the list now and there's no escape. - incredibly perceptive! like he's really good at getting information from people already, but i feel like that just makes it a lot easier for him to notice when Something Is Up. it's hard to catch him unawares. - kaeya's great and i love him but he doesn't love himself and i'm sorry this man definitely feels like he's got really bad self esteem. Like he KNOWS he can get shit done, but he has a hard time believing that anyone likes him and probably has trust issues b/c of it. - i also feel like he doesn't like the spotlight? like specifically Kaeya; if he needs to put on a persona for the spotlight, it doesn't phase him bc he's good at hiding behind a persona. but the moment Actual Kaeya gets spotlight he's like a bit of a mess and nervous and would just rather people enjoy themselves. essentially just doesn't want the spotlight. - abandonment issues. i don't need to explain this one. - kaeya puts on the air of an anti-hero but he's a quiet paragon himself. literally helps people out of habit and while he jokes abt it he doesn't actually expect anything in return and literally forgets he helped ppl bc it's just so engrained in his brain. - epitome of "sorry i had feelings, i'll replace em w/ jokes right away" - not the best cook tbh? like he can make some GOOD snacks (chicken mushroom skewers, a fried egg, simple stuff like that) but ask him to cook actual meals and he's at a loss for food prep and has no idea how to time everything in the dish. - emotionally available but only for other ppl. cannot and will not express his own emotions bc of aforementioned anxieties; but u wanna talk to him abt shit? he's all ears and will comfort u like a bbgrl. - this is less of a h/c but actually canon, and that's just that Kaeya's lonely. i genuinely think he wants to be around ppl but he feels like they wouldn't like the real him :(( - on that note, i WILL say that, despite his playfulness, this man is a romantic at heart??? like he probably LOVES poetry and writing and music, and the only reason he makes light of it is b/c he thinks it's funny and also to make people underestimate him. he would probably die for the opera performances in Fontaine tbh. OKAY,,, i've gotta hurry up and wrap this post bc i have work soon but please here thank u this is my bbgrl kaeya i love him so much. he has been in my main party since day one and like i'm beyond attached to this lil shit, like PLEASE HIS VOICELINES ARE SO GOOD. i will talk more abt my kaelumi h/c's and explain how things go in my "canon", b/c i'm trying to go in order of how all the poly met each other. WHICH means that Zhongli's next!!! b/c ofc i'm going to scream abt him, my friend's playing his archon quest and letting me watch it again and i'm taking so many notes its not even FUNNY.

[sarcophagid]

vilulf event liveblog longpost (will rb with more as the story updates..)

day 1:

from the bat it's presented in a very tasty way - brynhildrs internal narration is rlly fun to follow and the inclusion of a separately sentient 'brain' to play straightman was interesting. this coupled with waking up hungover and in pain everywhere is a bit reminiscent of the first few minutes of disco elysium (however at risk of being Witch In The Alps i will say i never saw it in full so u will have to lmk if this is accurate or no...)

bryns voiceline options have a lot involving "love", and i havent seen her deductions yet but its a bit like she's compensating for a sense of inferiority and loss by inflating the rowdy bravado-filled act

as aforementioned i really appreciate the way they're telling the story with bryn's amnesia (?) and the small clues left by other characters. there's little to no boring exposition, and the explanations themselves are fun to go through because the main characters personalities are entertaining to read.

ithaqua is so snarky in here... there's smth you can say about how he is her actual brain (unless they pull some sort of twist..). he's very harsh at times but also has some modicum* of concern for her well-being, and you do kind of have to wonder if this has smth to do with her more critical internal self-image 🤔

* but he does make you die if you say "fuck" to him too many times. which is insane. i sweared and my brain killed myself.

SORRY to keep iterating this but bryn truly is such a fun protagonist to read. she's insane and severely hungover and her drunk flirtatiousness/refusal to accept reality/short fuse grips you with anxiety and secondhand embarrassment but its also like. oh my god this is a disaster. i can't look away. they do a bit where her liver runs away and she's pleading for it to stay. she quotes spongebob. they let her say ass (but you still can't say fuck or else you die...). and she wants badly to kill someone which i hope she does. bc im pro murder

i dont know priestesses s-tier lore so i will have to come back to this but im assuming she's working as a medium between brynhildrs reality and the illusory world. i dont know exactly why she does that though..

speaking of the illusory world, the page you find mentions a research society/organization that talks about manipulating objects in lower dimensions. i think they're doing a wrinkle in time situation with the insect analogy. the ant on a page analogy is rlly famous too.

LONG EXPOSITION: if you have an ant on a page of a book walking towards the edge, you could move the ant to another spot on the page by folding the page in the middle of it's path. the ant would then be quickly transported without knowing how, but to you - the greater manipulator, it makes sense. the theory is that it's possible for a power on a higher dimension than us to manipulate our world in the same manner, by folding our space time to move us.

^ so i think this is what it's referencing. i dont think this is exactly what is actually happening though, just the theory investigated by the aforementioned time-space researchers. i assume (?) the island is populated by these researchers/research subjects, but bryn is not aware of this, and believes that they are people she knew in the past

thats all my speculation for now though 🤔

[myfandomhalf]

Season Finale

Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments

You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.

First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.

And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.

Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.

And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.

He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.

And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.

[orcelito]

Ok first day on adderall. Can't take this as The Rule bc ya kno, still getting acclimated to it. But things I've noticed:

I did have increased focus, though not really increased executive function. I just kinda spent hours upon getting home enthusing about my fanfic ideas lol

Not hyper. Which is a good sign, I think. I didn't have any caffeine today Purposefully so that it wouldn't affect it.

In fact, I think I'm... more calm? Maybe? Specifically in regard to my tub problems. I was uhhh not handling it well on Sunday night. Handled it rather explosively, in fact. But today, despite working on this damned tub for nearly 3 hours now (and still failing), I'm nowhere near as bad off as I was. Just. Very, very tired and unhappy. I'll take that over getting so mad/upset that I ended up hurting myself in the process.

Very Thirsty. Normal side effect. I've experienced this before back when I started wellbutrin (which I don't take anymore). It did go away in time. Hopefully will now too. Ultimately harmless, & tbh it means I end up drinking more water so that's good, but it Is pretty inconvenient. Would rather it go away.

Seem to have the loss of appetite too, though idk if that's bc of the meds or the current discontent and fatigue. I prepped a microwave meal & looked at it and was just like Ugh (usually I like it). Still making myself eat it though. If this one keeps up, I don't think it'd be a huge deal, bc I already eat on a schedule anyways (aka Already don't have normal hunger cues). So whatever.

So ultimately, it seems to be doing Something. Whether it actually benefits me in general, we'll have to see. Had a bit of a problem in class where I was So focused I circled back around to struggling to think again. But it was also like. Freshly taken lol. So we'll hope that was just a first dose kinda thing.

We'll see how it affects my sleep tonight. I do feel tired, at least. So once I finish eating & get my tub to a state where it's... usable (not Draining though, it's still very clogged), I'll shower and climb into bed. Not gonna get a full night's sleep Regardless (bc of the aforementioned fucking bath tub) but I'll try to get at least an okay amount.

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

im high pls dont make me name my batjokes meta

this post may be implicit/common knowledge, but having not seen much discourse around the mechanics of batjokes' dynamic compels me to catalog. there's sm to unpack here, so excuse lapses in structure or flow.

first off and most importantly, joker's battle with bruce is an existential one, he wants to justify himself in the eyes of his maker, his reshaper, whose perpetual control and prowling enabled, and ultimately exposed, the failure of his veneer of heroism and ability/adeptness, and birthed a distillation of that failure. the failure to circumvent criminality and violence, continually indulging retaliative brutality and unresolved anger, edging catharsis in assuming a protective and dominant role as to compensate for his loss and pantomime vicarious past reclamation and authority. constantly stagnant, incessantly unfulfilled, an everlasting outburst if you will, addressing not his material conditions but feeding his metaphysical ones. joker moulds himself around bruce's worldview, concerning himself with the salvation eternally eluding bruce, achievable through the violence that birthed batman and reinvented joker in turn.

this is a dialectical affliction, one desperate in nature, to validate that he wasn’t a mistake, a deviancy, to prove that a singular, perhaps seemingly insignificant element can transform anyone, unchain them, and joker refuses alternatives because batman forever dances, is forever chained by both his insistence on normalcy, but also his neglect of it. joker wants foremost, to matter to his creator, to break perfunctory monotony and elicit true understanding and oneness, have his existence be purposeful and intentioned, proving himself worthy, the one that finally cracks the elusive figure and chiefly, achieves ordainment in the eyes of his saviour — embrace, his personhood returned to his creator’s hands as to ascend batman into godhood, inextricably coalescing them.

it’s a labour of love, devotion, joker truly loves THe BaTmaN, bleeds and lives and offers up gothamite sacrifices as to resuscitate his vacancy, bless him with unadulterated purpose, validate the meaningless of the earthly. ultimately, batjokes are cyclical, that: from ash you were birthed and to ash you shall return, sh1t. what confuses that however, is how dialectical they are (as aforementioned), they embody a yin & yang dynamic after all. however, ultimately, joker wants to birth the batman who laughs [like when you think about it — batman realizing joker's philosophy and transcending humanity], to eliminate bruce's restraint and contradictory morality as to, ironically, create a pure, militant reaper encompassing gotham's brutality and abandon. joker is fighting for gotham's soul in more ways than one, on the physical level — crippling its normative function, inundating it with senseless violence, and on a metaphysical level, fighting for its symbol of order and constraint, someone who arose as an abstract embodiment of gotham's institutional enforcement, a distillation of authoritative fear, gotham’s punitive restrictiveness, the abstraction of otherworldly, insurmountable power, an inverted reflection of the very thing bruce is and was unable to overcome, aiming to strip them of their defences as to coax their primality, a violent denuding as to be sculpted anew, the same enlightenment he was afforded. to be broken so thoroughly that you become pure. to shatter pretence and baptize gotham, or its seemingly intractable moral paragon, in hedonistic freedom, uniting them with his gory rebirth. and joker, with this hedonistic perspective, recognizes that capacity in batman, recognizes it as his truth as one who was born from that brutality and violence and continues to endure it, seeing it as the purest form of expression and the underlying nature of existence.

he glamorizes his own death at the hands of the one who rebirthed him bc it will rebirth his creator in turn, allowing him to fully embody his godhood. it will afford the joker true meaning — once again my metas coming back to the struggle for existence but universal themes gonna universe [with the melody] — however, bc of the dialectics of batjokes, the struggle is a testament to their bond, it’s a seduction, a courtship, its authenticity and potency dictated by scale and intensity (aka their Stockholm is mad), the commitment to enduring joker’s forcible conversions, and foremost, to joker martyring himself to batman’s perpetual aggrieved ministrations, the irony in trying to fix someone through cruelty, conflict everlasting in one’s subjugating machinations. the more joker seizes, the further his cost sinks. bruce becomes steadily entrapped with and by the one person who can never leave him, the magnitude of those around him continually strained against the joker, the onus to humanize a sadistic, inhumane murderer forever ballooning. joker’s mortality, his humanity becoming further pathologized, his undying ceaselessness a type of consolation, a mark on bruce’s own consciousness, to save the one person forever bound to him, justifying his heroism and the incongruity between them, the fundamentalist moral dividing them: do not kill. batman's consideration, thusly, is birthed from a deep resentment, the flagellation of abstinence, maintaining the one thing delineating human from unfeeling instrument [of violence]. that resentment festering into a neurotic sort of dependency, joker acting as his NorthStar of morality, subsuming his sense of self, entrancing and ensnaring him. without the joker, batman is slowly cannibalized, unable to exist. whatever, i’m tired. this better be good enough cause its going up either way.

to conclude, this song [pay for it by jeff and the mindful selfless chastites]

encompasses batjokes perfectly. the eternal struggle, the damned position and conundrum batjokes find themselves saddled with, their respective lives being their sort of penance, an inability to ever truly connect without eliminating the other, love transmorphed into a twisted, destructive passion disinterested in its untainted iteration and consequently further estranging them.

(there was another song too but i forgor 🤷🏿‍♂️ [AN: not bc i was high, i could not conceive of this high)

[terresdebrume]

I think even if Jamie hadn't been a little prick when he arrived at Richmond, Roy still would have hated him. You're right, it is excessive how much Roy rages against Jamie and not Isaac or Colin. & hes still trying to keep up that cover of hating him even now, even when Jamie is trying so hard and really cares for Roy, and I can't figure out why. I just want Roy to admit that he cares for Jamie now, like actually say it because he isn't acting like it & Jamie needs it spelled out for him bless

Gosh, you're describing my dream here, Nonners!

This is a thing I kinda planned on keeping for my Roy-centric rewatch but I think Roy was just really bad at dealing with the impending end of his career. He left Chelsea because he could tell he'd started his downward spiral, picked Richmond for what I suspect might have been geographical reasons (Richmond is a 2h walk away from Chelsea according to google maps) and landed himself right next to the next generation of football superstar.

Like. Roy was already going to be a broody ass at Richmond no matter what, because he only went there to cut his losses ("better to quit than be fired") and went from a high end club with highly competent teammates and coaching staff to bottom-table players and Mr Shows-His-Balls, and only because he convinced himself he had no other choice.

And Jamie...well, Jamie's future is Roy's past. So what I think most likely happened was:

Jamie sees his idol come play to his club, tries to socialize, most likely does it the Tartt Sr way (aka, with a joke that stings at best, or at worst comes off as outright dickish)

Roy, seeing this kid who could be the next him behave like an ass, assumes that Jamie is being an ass in the same way that Roy was (aka: because of bloated ego rather than shit example and influence)

Roy snaps, because 1) He'd snap at everybody (bc aforementioned reasons+a bit if a sense of superiority) and 2) well, Jamie's being a little shit

Jamie's feelings are hurt PLUS his Dad Sense is tingling (since in his mind he just got snapped at for trying to be chummy) so he doubles down on the prick-ness to gain a sense of control over someone who might be all bark or who might start tossing shoes at him someday

Roy sees his suspicions confirmed, dislikes Jamie even more, snaps more, rinse and repeat

As for why Roy's still pretending to dislike Jamie, I think there's a big part of like. Not knowing what else to do. Because having Jamie to boss around when he's angry is convenient!

It leaves Roy free to work on the symptomatic part of his anger without having to dive as deep as he maybe should into the Why of it

It lets him avoid the effort and discomfort of actually trying to change that habit and wondering if he'll even be able to

I also suspect that there's an element of uh. Security kind of thing? Like. Roy changed a lot for Keeley and he did his best to treat her right, and (in his mind) he couldn't do it and he lost her. But so far, he's been treating Jamie a bit like shit, but Jamie hasn't left, and there's something reassuring in that for someone who has a tendency to push people away even when he doesn't want to.

(...and this is the part where I make myself sad because I'm 99% sure that telling off Roy got from Rebecca in 3.9 was a set up for him to go and get Keeley back but oh boy can you imagine how beautiful it would be (and how little but significant of an adjustment it would take) if this led to Roy/Jamie? 😭)

[mickstart]

i think there is a real issue with the way dead drivers are treated by fans. the moment a driver dies while racing they become deified by the motorsport community in this kind of like, parasocial way. any wrongs, nuances or details about their life, achievement or actions are washed away by this, like, paintbrush of grief, which doesn't allow for criticism (of the person as an athlete or as a person) and broadly classes it as disrespectful.

with senna especially, its massively complicated. he was a great driver and massive presence in the sport. most people agree he was a surprisingly gentle guy out of the car. had he never died, he would also be despised by a majority portion of the community, because of his relationship with a teenage girl while he was an adult.

those are the kinds of things that get pushed down or discouraged from discussion when it comes to drivers who died while racing, because of that aforementioned weird deification. and its unfortunate because it betrays the genuine character of a person for a idealized figurehead free of nuance, that at best acts as a disservice to the real person who passed and at worst obfuscates the real harm they may have caused, as people who had a lot of money, a lot of social power and very little oversight to their behaviour.

i say this as someone who has had to cope with their favourite driver in a series dying in a motorsport accident. i believe tributes, dedications and the sharing of memories to be incredibly important for continuing the memory of those who died in what is, frankly, their line of work (no employee should be at risk of dying in their workplace. none), to continue conversations about what the real loss of lax or underdeveloped safety guidelines and practises are. but i also think that criticism can and should be practised in public spaces about those who've died and that it isn't disrespectful to talk realistically about what a person was really like.

(holy shit laura sorry for the essay in ur inbox)

Yeah no dw liv I agree and I think tbh this is just like. A wider issue in society as well like it happens with Any public figure who dies (politicians exempt in most cases) that their life becomes smoothed over and simplified like this. It's part of this cultural thing of "don't speak ill of the dead" but taken to an extreme because of the parasocial elements + Literally Not Knowing These Guys, and like a lot of cultural things about death it's ultimately more harmful than whatever it's trying to soften.

Like I've seen this happening to Michael too, and he's not even dead. It's been hard for me to navigate my own immediate "Michael is perfect and did nothing wrong" attitude and balance that with making sure people still see him as a person who DID do bad things. I've always resisted saying "michael would think X or Y about something" because like. I don't Know what Michael would say and I do not want to speak for him bc he is in fact a person who is thinking things Right Now. That's its own Thing because like, obviously that's also to do with agency and ableism and the resistance to it, but it feels relevant here.

Sport becoming folklore definitely makes this like. More pronounced in F1 fandom I think.

[mousemannation]

thank u for the tag @clayvedevs :333

a little get to know me tag game!

1. Do you make your bed?

... no but in my defence i have a loft bed so its very difficult to do

2. Favourite number?

hmm 3, 4 and 7 r my favourite digits. im a big fan of i hashtag complex numbers. grahams number and tree(3) r fun, oh -1/12 is a classic, pi as well... gosh so sorry i am a mathspilled nerd so,,,

3. What's your job?

never had one hashtag disabled

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

i never finished high school and i have thought about trying (for the like fourth time) to get a hsc (high school certificate, there r ways to get an equivalent qualification for mature age students) but idk. im at TAFE for fashion/costume and i dont really need an hsc for that. i have thought about eventually going to uni for maths though, and i would definitely have to take an entrance exam for that since i dont have an hsc. i do qualify for loads of exceptions though so its not all losses (yay disability?)

5. Can you parallel park?

never tried (have driven a total of 8 hours)

6. Do you think aliens are real?

in some form, yeah

7. Can you drive a manual car?

see q5 (no)

8. Guilty pleasure?

hmm... i believe cringe is dead and i also do/interact with surprisingly little.. i guess maybe like blind boxes? i dont get them often but theyre so expensive so i do feel guilty every time i see a kirby one and cant resist.

9. Tattoos?

nay, although now that all my friends are getting them i have been thinking about it. its not like. really on the cards bc i cant make decisions for the life of me but if i could id be so basic and get an ouroboros. and probably a guinea pig.

10. Favourite colour?

sage green, marone

11. Favourite type of music?

i'll listen to most kinds of music but i definitely gravitate to like emo, post hardcore, rock- that sort of thing

12. Do you like puzzles?

like jigsaw puzzles or? i mean i like jigsaws and i also like other kinds of puzzles. always my go to genre of game. riddles and cryptic crosswords and escape rooms my beloved

13. Any phobias?

hmm well ive got social anxiety disorder but other than that i dont think so?

14. Favourite childhood sport?

i deliberately was on every sports team in primary school at least once (except cricket lol) bc i actually did enjoy sports, but the aforementioned anxiety disorder made actually pursuing that difficult. i also did dance, gymnastics, acrobatics and trampolining at some point during childhood. i do miss acro, that was the last extracurricular i did before i got mucho depressed and my life basically stopped circa 2016. the only sport ive ever followed as a fan is tennis!

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yes lol mostly in my head but also out loud sometimes. born to be a yapper fr

16. Tea or coffee?

im a tea truther (earl grey with soy milk !!!!) and also a bubble tea fiend, BUT i will fuck up a mocha (or an iced coffee with enough milk and sugar to cover the bitterness)

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i was a veritable horse girl from a VERY young age so probably something related to horses?? like a showjumper maybe.

18. What movies do you adore?

love a good (or laughably bad) horror movie. a cure for wellness, orphan, killing of a sacred deer r all movies gave 5 stars. also love a good children's animated movie! unironically a big fan of the secret life of pets movies, ferdinand, that sort of thing. g-force remains the best movie of all time.

i am tagging: @soronya @tennis-kittens @nick-cassidy @shapovalovvs :33

[fexalted]

2 (🍄), 6 (💾), 7 (🖍) for the asks!

🍄 Describe your wip / one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”: "stan's memory loss + ford's grief and guilt = one rough week at the mystery shack" (this is the second part of "for those once held so nearly" :3c)

💾 What is your document of your wip / a wip called? (not the story's actual title but what you’ve saved it as): this is where i out myself as boring bc all my wips are just "[fandom acronym] [number]" lmao

🖍️ Post any sentence from your wip: from the aforementioned second part:

"How can you be a genius but still such a knucklehead?" he mutters, and you're almost certain he's crying now. "Of course you're worth saving, you always have been. I never once thought you weren't."

writer procrastination ask meme