#i just want to shower and go to bed.

[orcelito]

Ok first day on adderall. Can't take this as The Rule bc ya kno, still getting acclimated to it. But things I've noticed:

I did have increased focus, though not really increased executive function. I just kinda spent hours upon getting home enthusing about my fanfic ideas lol

Not hyper. Which is a good sign, I think. I didn't have any caffeine today Purposefully so that it wouldn't affect it.

In fact, I think I'm... more calm? Maybe? Specifically in regard to my tub problems. I was uhhh not handling it well on Sunday night. Handled it rather explosively, in fact. But today, despite working on this damned tub for nearly 3 hours now (and still failing), I'm nowhere near as bad off as I was. Just. Very, very tired and unhappy. I'll take that over getting so mad/upset that I ended up hurting myself in the process.

Very Thirsty. Normal side effect. I've experienced this before back when I started wellbutrin (which I don't take anymore). It did go away in time. Hopefully will now too. Ultimately harmless, & tbh it means I end up drinking more water so that's good, but it Is pretty inconvenient. Would rather it go away.

Seem to have the loss of appetite too, though idk if that's bc of the meds or the current discontent and fatigue. I prepped a microwave meal & looked at it and was just like Ugh (usually I like it). Still making myself eat it though. If this one keeps up, I don't think it'd be a huge deal, bc I already eat on a schedule anyways (aka Already don't have normal hunger cues). So whatever.

So ultimately, it seems to be doing Something. Whether it actually benefits me in general, we'll have to see. Had a bit of a problem in class where I was So focused I circled back around to struggling to think again. But it was also like. Freshly taken lol. So we'll hope that was just a first dose kinda thing.

We'll see how it affects my sleep tonight. I do feel tired, at least. So once I finish eating & get my tub to a state where it's... usable (not Draining though, it's still very clogged), I'll shower and climb into bed. Not gonna get a full night's sleep Regardless (bc of the aforementioned fucking bath tub) but I'll try to get at least an okay amount.

[walkingstackofbooks]

Every time I watch Shore Leave, I become more convinced that Ruth is dead.

Like, Jim's hellbent on chasing after Sulu, Yeoman Barrows has just been attacked, and then he stops for these flowers with a look of wonder on his face?

My theory is that he's terrified he'll be too late and something will attack Sulu, he thinks something along the lines of "how many more flowers will I have to lay on graves?" and then he sees the exact flowers he lays on Ruth's grave and he has to stop and take one and smile sadly.

And then the whole conversation with Ruth, I mean... Yeah, it does make sense if they were once together and then broke up, but the /pain/ and /longing/ in his eyes, man.

(Also this leaves open the possibility that because he's already seen one dead loved one on this planet, after McCoy is "revived", he might be half-convinced that the McCoy who came back was just a reconstruction because he wanted to see him, and the real Bones is still just as dead as he was. Oh, I want to write this fic so badlyyyy.. if it wasn't a work night ...)

[ropebuny]

feeling like I’ll never be truly liked for who I am and that no partner will ever accept and also be willing to reciprocate and play out the things I am into

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

[thespacesay]

brought to you by me hosting a friend for two days who grew up in the same cultural region, and tbh will not be invited again.

[considerablecolors]

Me: ok ok so basically it all started when i was listening to Cool As I Think I Am yeah? and im like omg Peter Spankoffski is literally everything and more that Jeremy Heere from Be More Chill tried and failed to be

Them:

Me: like Cool As I Think I Am? that's LEGIT literally just the Chad version of Loser Geek Whatever

Them:

Me: AND THEN. I'M LIKE WAIT. NONONO. ALL THE CHARACTERS LINE UP BRO. like you have the sidekick that the fandom immediately adopts as their favorite little queer icon that makes constant references and has one of the saddest scenes in the show and deserves better? MICHAEL AND RICHIE

Them:

Me: a really quirky out-there girl that loves musical theatre? CHRISTINE AND RUTH BRO

Them: i-

Me: AND AND AND. A BULLY THAT'S LIKE OBJECTIVELY A BAD PERSON THAT THE FANDOM CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE BECAUSE HE SHOWS ROOM FOR KINDNESS YEAH??? RICH AND MAX MY DUDE

Them: uh-

Me: AND FINALLY IT CLICKS. NAH MAN. IT'S NOT JUST THE CHARACTERS. IT'S THE PLOT TOO.

Me: nerd guy and his friend(s) getting bullied and used to it, when he decides he's going to finally change the status quo because there's a girl he likes. then the bully intervenes and changes the status quo FR FR. it's all your standard high school drama and THEN a supernatural force intervenes and turns shit dark!!

Them: well-

Me: LIKE LIKE there's a party thrown where everything horribly goes wrong!! everyone starts being nicer to the nerd and you think it'll be fine but then nerd guys friend's start getting hurt and suddenly the entire school/world is at risk, PLUS the dream girl is at risk, so nerd guy is like SHIT gotta fix things

Them: i mean-

Me: THEN THE SHOW HAS A SUPER HAPPY UPLIFTING CHEESY ENDING WHERE EVERYTHING IS FINE BUT THEN. LAST MINUTE. THE SUPERNATURAL ELEMENT GETS TEASED AGAIN AND YOU'RE LIKE *GASP* IT'S NOT GONE IT'S STILL A THREAT WAIT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT BUT THEN YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW

Them: so um-

Me: LIKE IT ALL LINES UP. THE MIX OF CLASSIC SHOWTUNES SOUNDTRACK WITH A POP/ROCK TWIST. THE SLIGHTLY OUTDATED TEEN LINGO. THE UNDENIABLE HORNIEST OF MOST OF THE CHARACTERS. NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE IS LITERALLY JUST THE BETTER VERSION OF BE MORE CHILL!!

Them: were you-

Me: BUT THEATRE KIDS AREN'T READY TO HAVE THAT FUCKING CONVERSATION YET SO I JUST HAVE TO SIT HERE, KNOWING I'M RIGHT, SWINGING MY BAT AT THIS HORNET'S NEST, TRYING TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD, BUT THEY HATE ME FOR SPEAKING THE FUCKING TRUTH

Them: ...

Me:

Them: ...

Me:

Me: OH MY GOD. OMG. I'M SO SORRY I'VE LEGIT JUST BEEN RAMBLING HAVEN'T I

Them: ...

Me: ughhh that's so embarrassing lolol okok so anyways

Me: i'll get to the point lol sorry

Me: ok so um basically i was interested in commissioning you to make like- basically think of it as like an episode of Nightmare Time but it's like Pete x Michael ok?

Nick Lang: um.

Matt Lang: that's not really how this...

Nick Lang: yeah, we don't really do that

Me: oh :( cause you guys are homophobic?

Matt Lang: OKAY-

[hangsawoman]

i’m having such a bad day i want to die and now i still need to go to a concert with my friend i just want to go to bedddd

[fatfemmegf]

hate capitalism!! i'm too hot to work i should be able to stay at home all day and be sexualized by lesbians !!!!!!

[evansbby]

You guys I’m posting so many polls to get my engagement up but it’s not like how it used to be before 😂😭😂😂 ever since even before March when i took that month long break for Ramadan, my notifs were so dry n dead and it’s just not how it was before and i wish i could go back in time when everything was lit and fun but i just don’t know what happened it’s like everyone tuned out and then when i took that break, even more people tuned out and no one came back 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

[orcelito]

I'm going through another character arc

I'm becoming worse

[osiiiris]

Another day another drama I don’t give a damn about.

[ereborne]

tagged by @acountrygirlsfun and @goingsparebutwithprecision to share something from my WIP. It's uh. Fuck It Friday Monday now or something. what was it.

🔥 WIP Whenever!! 🔥

They didn’t like it when you didn’t react.  Got into their heads quicker than anything, made them angry.  Last thing anybody needed was a torturer with something to prove.  He coughed, let his voice go ragged.  Not hard to do with how rough his throat was.  Screaming’s mostly involuntary at a certain point.  “You’re gonna regret this.”  A factual statement, but he’d think it was defiance.  He’d take it as a good sign.  Ghost was familiar with the line of thought himself—a defiant subject, in fighting the power imbalance, was actually acknowledging it.  Establishing themself at a disadvantage in their own mind.  Often the first step towards breaking down.  Really it’s about managing expectations.  “Gonna kill you.”  Probably wouldn’t be Ghost himself that did it.  He’d been tied like this long enough he couldn’t feel the ache in his shoulders anymore.  Probably time off for PT before he’d kill anybody again.  But having Ghost like this was going to kill the man anyway.  Tone set, Ghost let himself fall quiet again.  His staring would be interpreted now as a glare—resting bitch face handy in many situations—and the man didn’t seem eager to let him get another word in anyway.  Ghost sank through the pain, let it fill him, until it became baseline sensation and then background noise.  Rainfall.  His team was coming.  The privates might have seen him go down—extra training if they did.  When a superior officer tells you to go, you damn well go.  You don’t look back to see if he’s following—but they never would have reported him dead.  Little shits’d probably have to see his head separate from his body to believe it.  And Price and them wouldn’t have accepted it even if.  So retrieval was in progress.  Quiet infil, wouldn’t risk spooking whoever was holding their lieutenant.  Quick move, minimize time held and time for enemy troops to consolidate.  Probably were pulling in all their troops, but the simul strikes would’ve disrupted that.  Large-scale losses, confusion, delays.  His team would be here before most of them.  So limited, if unknown, enemy numbers.  And easy intel gathering, since the assholes had brought Ghost into their main building.  Problem with repurposing an abandoned hospital was the floorplans were available on god damn google.  Been the same man in the room with him since he was brought in, so it hadn’t been long—torture’s tiring.  Gotta put your back into it—but still.  Next time that door opened, chances were, it’d be a friendly coming through.  Quiet infil didn’t mean quiet exfil, necessarily.  Maybe Price would let him have Johnny blow the building.  Level this bitch.  Be good for the legend.  'Capture the Ghost; come back to rubble.'  Yeah, that’d be nice.

the no-pressure-est of tags because this is a nonsense post: @piratefalls, @ialpiriel, @zahnie, @solivagantingrebel, anybody who wants to share something they're working on!

[softdreamlesssleep]

God, "I missed you" sex is the best

[yorshie]

Pea Brained Bounce House time. Was thinking about the earlier Mikey bit. Then I started thinking about Warm Coded. And then:

Raph’s got like. This thing, when you’re working out with him. He uses the cover of coaching you to stare.

It’s not until he’s got you doing chairs against the concrete wall, and you look up in pleading askance on how much longer you’ve gotta hold the position, that you finally catch the way his attention is trained on the swell of your stomach. The uncanny focus of his gaze on your thighs as the muscles start to tremble and seize up.

Raph likes to stare.

[whentherewerebicycles]

ran errands all morning & am feeling very smugly accomplished. here is a 20ish week bump update from the old navy bathroom (plus a shot of my pregnancy uniform aka maternity leggings and an oversized pens sweatshirt)