#bc in dreams i don't feel anything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thatlesbiancrow · 15 days ago

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bleh woke up from a nightmare.

it was like the first time i had a nightmare that takes place in the place i currently live which is neat

#i was laying in bed #i heard weird voices in my living room #like a woman singing a child to bed #and when i went to see no one was there #then i checked the peephole and a guy was staring back at me #and unlocking the door while i tried to lock it back #and then he smashed a big hammer at the peephole #<- trust me it was scary it wasn't funnh it was scary #then i woke up #it like took me a second to collect myself because i had so much trouble falling asleep #it's always weird to wake up from a dream and to like realize 'oh i can feel things'#bc in dreams i don't feel anything #but then i wake up and the world is very tactile

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years ago

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[ID: a digital drawing of characters from the owl house based on the song "up the wolves" by the mountain goats. At the top of the drawing there's a rectangular panel showing Camila and Eda. Camila looks out at the boiling isles at night with her bat. Eda mirrors her pose, with her arm covered in feathers. Shadows form to look like the collectors face, covering Eda's eyes and parts of Camila. Beneath this panel is a star with King and the Collector inside of it, holding hands and spinning midair. Beneath this is the archway portal from thanks to them, which is glowing, and at the bottom of the image is the hexsquad lined up in their designs from for the future, lit by the portal light and looking determinedly into the distance. The lyrics that span the image are "our mother has been absent/ever since we founded Rome/but there's gonna be a party when the wolf comes home". The background is black. End ID]

I knew I couldn't say goodbye to this show without redrawing one of my favorite old pieces, this lyric comic based on Up The Wolves by the mountain goats. I made it pre-ttt and was honestly really vindicated by all the wolf imagery that ep, lmao

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #watching and dreaming #luz noceda #hunter toh #willow park #amity blight #gus porter #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #the collector toh #camila noceda #I REALLY DID DRAW 9 CHARACTERS FOR THIS DIDN'T I #hate this fucking show and the way it has constantly inspired me to push my own artistic boundaries. mad as hell about that #i don't have time for a full-on tag ramble rn but just know that i am so fucking sad about this show ending and fighting with myself #bc it feels like it'd be so much easier to like. shut my love for it off??? in order to not feel as bad about it ending #I've had a year or so with it (barely tho) surely this can satisfy me #but that's just. straight up not true and makes me feel bad in a whole different way #it is weird!! it's weird that this show I've watched 5 times over is ending and i might never get anything else from it #but I'm not gonna let that sour the show or fandom as a whole for me?? if that makes sense #i love this show top to bottom front to back. not bc it's perfect but bc it sees me and i love it for that #also it's really funny and beautiful and well written and. just. AUGHDHDJDJ!!!!!!! I'M NORMAL!!!#okay i have to go shower now #I'm going to gently leave this with you guys. i put a lot into her. do with it as you will #that's all #i love you 💖

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dinsbeskar · 2 months ago

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y'all.

we need a talk.

#uhhhhhhhhh #im writing a weird chapter. pure smut again #sauron girlies how do we feel about uhhhhhh #s*mno #bc that's a thing thats infected my brain at the moment and it fits him so well bc I've already written about him imvading reader's dreams #so a little cnc doesn't seem like that big of a jump #but uhhhh i don't wanna publish anything that will get people's backs up bc i get why it's a bit controversial #we only dabble in consensual non consent here so everything is negotiated/discussed (but it is sauron so again its not straightforward)#idkkkkkk #I'm just kinda crawling the walls wondering how far is too far #so any opinions are welcome!!!#if you don't fancy replying please drop me an anon!!!#ffs this is some of the best writing I've ever done but someone needs to spray me with a hose

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shurup-overt · 4 days ago

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the terukane development still blows off my mind because what do you mean akane considers himself telling teru to go away while he's on a date with aoi an ooc thing. I grew up in a time when "hearing sorry from you is creepy" was legit his most normal and calmest response

ashamed to admit but I'm still there. my mind is still there. and then I watch in pure horror how akane caresses teru's back

#yes ch103 was not enough to convince me #my heart has been aching so much for akane bc I was always like #ohhh godddddd you aren't obliged to do any of this you're way too kind for this world please reconsider & have more confidence in yourself #and then the things Kept Happening and more frequently too and at some point I was like WAIT YOU'RE FOR REAL ?#YOU CARE-CARE?#“oh my god. you poor thing.”#ashk28 feels like a wild fever dream #first of all. WHAT . second of all. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALLAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE GRIM REAPER ARC #terukane #ik nobody's perfect & it's the tbhk charm #but akane is genuinely one of the most kind and gentle souls out there for me #I'm getting emotional #dear please tell more about yourself #where did you get such strong empathy & the ability to remain caring and gentle despite it all #and the alarming lack of self-confidence #sweetie you're the best thing to have ever happened to aoi and teru #please know that #jshk #tbhk #ok I indeed got emotional #now I ofc do realize he's been caring about both of them long before ashk28 release but I've honestly been Ignoring the signs #was treating them like a queerbait I guess #I don't think there's anything super wrong with 'queerbait' though #shit I've started overthinking and now I'm not even sure what 'queerbait' is #time to finish this rant #I've tagged this as terukane but finished talking more about teruaoikane growing closer in general #as a trio #I should do a teruaoi post someday maybe #aoi akane #ty aidairo for him

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angels444yuri · 10 months ago

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i have this intense urge to Do Something

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roadtripwitch · 1 year ago

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Dream telling Hob about all his names when they meet again is sweet, but I think it would be funnier if he just didn't. Showed up 33 years late, immediately admitted they're friends, sits down, asks Hob about what he's been up to, forwards absolutely no information of his own until Hob tentatively asks him what happened, and the Stranger just goes "oh I was detained. It wasn't because of you that I didn't show up. I'm sorry" and doesn't elaborate. Hob thinks the friendship isn't actually solid enough to pry past the guy's very much too guarded eyes, so they keep on this charade of Hob Gadling and his Very Strange Friend. Dream doesn't even tell him he's not the one allowing him to keep living.

I have feelings about this I don't actually think the persevering anonimity is funnier, I think Dream cherishing Hob's willingness to call him friend just because he wants to and not because he knows him as Dream of the Endless with Hob actually just liking him as the Stranger and being distraught he didn't show up and then happy he did, is actually the sweetest scenario.

#the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #sandman fanfiction #i would like a 30k+ words very slow burn platonic fic with Hob just going along with his strange friend #occasionally he crosses paths with people like mad hettie and johanna constantine that mention him and he just can't connect the dots #people also don't know hob's strange friend is dream bc hob describes him very charitably and other people just don't know dream like that #i also love the crossovers #good omens and supernatural and even shadowhunters #just hob having this weird Do Not Mess With This One mystic signal #and people freaking out because it's placed as to be a warning but an anonymous one #'wtf even can feel like this' and maybe only the higher ranking angels and demons have their suspicions #in the meanwhile hob is trying very hard to solidify the friendship enough that he can risk asking the stranger if he's actually alright #and if maybe he wants to talk about it #and does he know anything about ravens because hob has befriended this one raven and he thinks ravens would fit his aesthetic very well #the stranger had just decided to entertain hob's attempts at making him drink anything and he chokes on it

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isehne · 8 months ago

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The world feels like dragon age. Combat looks snappy and fun. The voices are beautiful. The music sounds amazing. Closeup facial animation looks a lil fucky. Solas and Rook and Harding and Neve look beautiful. Why is Varric's hair black. I'm very intrigued about the PCs origin. Idk but after the gameplay reveal it really feels like coming home to Thedas

#dragon age #dav #dav spoilers #? is that necessary #feeling very yippee rn!! i don't have any expectations or anything i'm just yippee my video game!! at this early stage #i hated dai combat it was so slow and boring!!! high hopes for this but not too high #its maybe like da2 crossed with ffxvi. i hope bc i love combat in those games (guy who usually hates combat)#also movement looks nice too? dai felt a bit slow with walking and movement too #hoped to see dorian and/or maevaris but thats ok it was just a dream of mine #like varric has a grey streak in black hair? hes strawberry blonde you bastards #btw why is youtube livechat full of the most boring negative miserable people on the planet. i turned it off tho dw #ok I'm done <3 i'm better now

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somerandomcryptid · 3 months ago

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When you re-listen to music made by someone you have very complicated feelings about now but used to be a gigantic fan of and 1. The songs still slap and 2. Like 5 of them just sound like vents of your feelings about the artist your listening to

#It's fucking weird man ;__;#I still know all the words #Legitimately kinda wish I could make covers of some of his songs bc that is how I feel about him #But that's fucking stupid and I really shouldn't do that #And also some of the songs are just like #Damn well that fits my story and I want to make an animatic to it but also haha I don't want it to come off that I like-#Idk support him?#I don't want him dead or anything #But I don't like that man #I have a lot of complicated feelings about him even #Anyway #Almost 3am so I'm just kinda in that state rn #cryptid.thoughts #This is not about cc!dream #Literally anyone who has been on this blog for a while or knows me will know this is not about dream #Anyway goodnight ig

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kingprinceleo · 1 year ago

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Oh fuck me fuckme fuck me

#I'm going to start killing people #I need SLEEPY TYLENOL NOWWWWWWW #Mfer laying in bed for 8 hours full awake 🫠 eyes shut. Brain. ACTIVE #IM TRYING SO HARD TO SLEEP JUST BE UNCONSCIOUS #Too late now #Fuck me I have to be aware enough to not kill everybody in this vehicle #Mfing murder nightmare too what the fuck #Set the scene: YouTuber wedding #The man in charge of filming is an asshole to the minimum wage people working there #Like real mean. And one meek guy tries to tell the groom but the groom is kinda a dismissive asshole about it bc he's already paid the guy #So it's too late now. Meek guy keeps getting disrespected and storms out to the parking lot to just leave #Woman who has been witnessing this apparently is gonna kill on meek guys behalf. He does not want this #Woman gets into a fucked up death machine car and drives it into the groom #But not like. Runs him over. There's a fucking saw blade on the front that starts cutting through the bottom of his torso #He was screaming a lot. I'm not sure if he survived or not. But the atmosphere was not fun #Very muddy desaturated colors. Very wet and musty feeling. It was like almost a parking garage #I don't think I'll ever have a dream as scary as the um time-looping cannibal beach dream #But this was just the delightful cherry of not being able to sleep at fucking. ALL .#Literally cried I'm so distressed about not being able to control anything about myself rn #Hhhhh :(((#3rd night in a row I've slept like shit

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tittyinfinity · 6 months ago

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No seroquel means no sleep for me I guess. I've been trying for hours

#decided if im gonna be awake i may as well do something other than wallow in thoughts that cause me anxiety #just super fucked up that i went from believing i could no longer feel romantic attraction #to suddenly being flooded with feelings #and like he didn't even confess romantic feelings for me he just said hed be down to fuck sometime #usually id just be like yeah that's fine i don't usually catch feelings #so it's fucking me up that im having romantic feelings towards someone who probably doesnt feel that way #and it's fucking me up that i caught feelings from being TOLD he'd like to fuck we haven't even done that #sigh i can't pretend like those feelings weren't already there and just extremely repressed....#kept having so many dreams about being in love w him... I'd do everything i could to shake the feeling off #it comes down to insecurities #feeling like i make too many mistakes to be with someone as good as him #the fear that I'll stress him out #one of the most amazing people I've ever met. he has respected my boundaries for years #and i guess those boundaries were only firmly in place bc i knew deep down it would spark something #honestly i felt a huge spark hours before he even told me #whenever he came up behind me and hugged me on the neck #his lips accidentally brushed against my neck and i swooned #we haven't talked since that night but he said he wants to have a conversation about it when he's not busy #he has two jobs #his 2nd one lasting til 1am #but yeah thinking about what he might say is making me nervous #like what if he suddenly decides that it IS too risky #i don't think ill be able to kick these feelings #at least i let him know head on that i might fall in love w him if we pursue anything else #but we haven't even pursued shit!! and i feel this way already!!#i guess not ''in love'' but the crush is hard-fucking-core #the kind of crush i havent had since meeting my ex 7 years ago...#i forgot what the feeling was like. and it's.... so strong #.bdo

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latejulys · 10 months ago

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someone just commented on my physical appearance UNPROMPTED????

#havent even been talking to him for months and he just suddenly pops up to say something insensitive bc he saw my sister's ig story of her-#-going to the gym #just when i was feeling v good abt myself!! lmfao 😭#both physically and mentally too!!#i've genuinely never felt this shitty wow don't think i ever got this insecure abt anything anyone's ever said to me???#but any hoot!! i got into one of my dream management/graduate trainee programs today so 😋#ok but honestly i'm just mentioning this to make myself feel better bc at least!! that part of my day genuinely made me feel so happy (to an #extent i havent felt in a while)#but to end my day on this shitty note... wow #HE SAID ALL THAT AT 1 AM TOO LIKE??? genuinely out of nowehere #*nowhere #anyway #men really r something huh #y.txt

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keeps-ache · 3 months ago

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okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃

#just me hi #slept ! ! ! was it good? hell nah kfshvg #but i slept :D #wasn't allowed to go to bed for a couple hours cuz parents wanted to play a movie. it was good but it put me in a weird headspace lmsfh #//ooou my ear's doing the Thing #you know the thing. the thing it does. loll #ever since that ant was in there that one time (dear lird) when i wake up from laying on it it'll feel like. a bit inflamed on the inside ?#and kinda itchy. not good things but it's likely not going to kill me so 💥💥#'it's likely not going to kill me' <- things i likely said while pretending i couldn't see anything for like 3-4 years #oh but yea i'm going to assume it's nothing bc i was also getting phantom feelings and sounds for some weeks that caused panic so i'm not #even going to put weight on it. it's just itchy no biggy Kfshvhf :)#//anyway i think i also had a dream but i do Not remember those well At All lol #i know the last one had oath in it though so that one was cool. don't remember much else but that was sick Lmfsh :3 #//Ohh it's rainingggg yippeeee :D <3 #don't get much snow but we'll get tons of rain... i miss you michigannnnn <//3 #//but anyway the dream thing just reminded me #so this detail may not be important but my oldest brother and i are joked to be twins. there's 2 years and at least a foot of height betwee #us (i am the short). people get our voices mixed up when we talk low and i think that's funny #we were also thick as thieves as kids. not a good thing for anybody else but Yeagh kfshvg #but there was this one time we'd both woken up and were talking abt both having had a dream the night before; giving details and such #and we had the same dream ? it's still kinda odd to this day but we had the Same Exact Dream on the same night. if not odd it's neat! :3 #anyway so somewhere in the past year my brother (apollo) got a lunar on his right index finger #i kept forgetting tho and asking if it was a blood bruise (that is my bad boss ✋) and eventually the info stuck in my head #anyway so somewhere in the past two months i also got a lunar on my right index finger. i didn't even notice it until i was tryna wash my #hands and it wouldn't come off lmaoo #now that's going on ig. the timeline-clone theory grows stronger every day Kfhsvhfgsfg #//forgot what else i was going to say i went to go look into the phrase 'thick as thieves' lol #i don't understand how someone heard 'thick' and thought 'yeah. that means close now' kfshd #anyway it's old as you've prolly guessed. the earliest spot it's popped up was a newspaper that printed a letter that was written in 1827 #but it mighta been used earlier than that. neat!

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kelvingemstone · 1 year ago

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a starstruck odyssey is for lovers

#more than acofaf even. the love story of the wurst is what dreams are made of #emilymurph sitting next to each other...skip straightest man ever prince of alien slugs learning to be free bc of the crew...gnosis...#best on average npcs. lucienne plug bambi leroux the butch at the space station fuckin space heiress trust fund baby bajar crunch moon jone #and this is not to say ANYTHING of how good the characters are.#they could keep making d20 seasons forever and starstruck will always be a cut above the rest because of how fucking good the setting is #like with crown of candy even tho i loved it sm i feel like some politics were discarded in favor of the others; all out war was eh to me #the build up to a war tho? now that's interesting that's where the juice is basically i wanted asoiaf book one vibes with this cast but #that's a matter of personal preference! i don't feel like acoc did the most that could've been done with a “politics” campaign #dimension 20 #dropout.tv #a starstruck odyssey #because of their deep investment in the world and the genre it never feels like starstruck couldn't do anything. it feels limitless!#season two...god if they never do one that'd be such wasted capability #ik fantasy high is so beloved and it is a beautiful lasagna of time and playing style but if i could get multiple seasons w starstruck...#the thing that makes asoiaf asoiaf is that we have a similar level of insight into the minds of baddies like the lannisters as we do into #the minds of the clean jesus allegory starks. and in acoc the “worst” character we got from the heroes was lapin n even he was aligned #to the rocks' cause. saccharina WAS a rocks -- that was her whole deal -- and even then she wasn't a morally reproachable character bc #she was right! i wanted acoc to be down and dirty and when they said ravening would be i was excited but even that turned out to be them #destroying a secret cult which was going to kill the world. no really down low shenanigans!

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pachyderm-matchmaker · 1 year ago

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this show is driving me fucking CRAZY i loved every part of it except sally jackson which is RIDICULOUS because they made sally jackson the moral heart of it and leaned in to "everything percy is is because of her" and i WANTED that i LOVE that but then sally herself is?? just??? okay hold on spoilers

i've seen people say that they really appreciate that in this version sally doesn't have to be a doormat who just quietly suffers for her son's sake, and i GET that, i do! i appreciate that!!! not every mother's story should be about endless self-sacrifice!

but sally's WASN'T!!!

it was a story about a scared single mother who ended up in a bad situation and didn't know how to get out, and when she's given the opportunity she fucking TAKES IT!!!

and there are things about the show sally that i like! she isn't constantly cooking gabe food, she doesn't have to say it was selfish to keep her son near her, we see her argue with percy because she struggled and wasn't perfect she was a young single mom, she honks in traffic and gets road rage! i like all of that!!

but i just...

i really, REALLY miss her choosing to kill her abusive husband using medusa's head.

and honestly, i could talk about how goddamn INCREDIBLE of a character choice it was to have a mother who is willing to kill, explicitly out of revenge instead of just to protect her son, while simultaneously being the epitome of a loving mother who teaches her son to do BETTER than just dealing violence and to think about who the real monsters are, and to choose love and responsibility and care!

i could talk about how cool it is that she stops percy from killing gabe not because he "shouldn't kill" but because it needs to be her choice.

i could RANT about how important it is for the story to explicitly have her make the choice to kill him for hurting her, rather than it happening by chance because gabe's the kind of asshole to steal mail, or happening in a way that lets people say "poseidon put that there he took care of gabe for sally lol"--

but she already said it best!

"If my life is going to mean anything i have to live it myself."

and it really really sucks that the show took that away from her

#sally jackson #pjotv spoilers #percy jackson #also. its just weird that like...they toned down gabe #but they still turned him to stone? for the crime of being petty? i don't LIKE it #also. i can't help but feel that this whole thing (toning down gabe & not having sally kill him) comes from a place of...uh...#toning down the violence i guess? (i don't Want to say disneyfying it bc i think it's smthg they're doing with percy deliberately)#and i think that harms the story!!!!#which is its own post actually #but. yeah. i can't help but be severely disappointed about how they handled sally #i mean come ON #her having that steel and that capability for violence and wrath and the kind of calculation that allows her to kill a man #and sell his corpse to fund her dreams??#plus the way i would've sold my soul to see her say “if my life is going to live anything i have to live it myself”#also just...i'm not saying i grew up in a shitty abusive home and that catharsis ruled so hard to me. but...

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arowizards · 6 days ago

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dear tumblr tonight i dreamed an elaborate shadowgast au

#aspen tag #okay. pan in on caleb caught by. something. some force.#they take him to a facility they take his belongings his spellbook his magic his frumkin #in the facility theyre being taught. something. supposedly for research but its purposeless work #but caleb smuggled a leeetle notebook in. and he's been piecing things together #and he figures out whatever testing they're doing here has to do with magic #and he gets frumpkin back in a way and uses him to sneak around #and he gets a glimpse of what they're doing in the parts of the building no one sees. a strange magic he's never seen before #all advised by a stranger individual. clearly an outsider. they value his information but not him. intriguing #flash forward an amount of time #Something has happened. climax of the story. caleb is being threatened (?) by one of the handlers #this happens outside. for some reason #and he casts some gravity shit. having learned from observation. and the building starts rising from the ground #and theyre like hey what the fuck. you shouldn't even know what that is.#so they take him to essek. and essek is like you're. what. how. and caleb is like i'll talk if you'll talk #and caleb has kept notes. of every single magical effect cast in his proximity over his stay #which is valued information or something? and it comes out #that they are working on weaponizing dumanis like bombs. and also its like radiation?#and so all the prisoners that are just there for Reasons are to watch what prolonged passive exposure does #and something something essek had dreams of what he could do and here he is making more ways to kill people faster and better #and he hates it. not because its like cruel or whatever he's just bored. hes wasted here. and caleb sees his chance to escape #and they run away together and they don't save anyone else and their relationship is an beautiful horrible mix #of mutual fascination + dependency + i need to pick your brain and ill manipulate as much as i need to to make that happen #its not a happy ending its just an ending where theyre together about it #they dont fix anything they don't save anyone they didn't change anything. and i think thats beautiful #tada. thats my deam #it was also mostly told from caleb at the end of the day lying in the dark going over what he knows #but that was just bc i could feel my blankets around me #okay im going to go make breakfast now goodbye forever

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macroglossus · 5 months ago

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it's funny how little i feel like myself when my hair isn't bright ass red

#which is not my natural color at all my natural color is brownish (some some reddish highlights when directly in the sun but like.)#and i haven't been doing anything rlly with my hair or anything bc i'm just inside w my immediate family All Of The Time and i leave #the house maybe once a month so what is the point #but i started missing my red hair sooooo bad and i don't feel like my natural color suits me #so i was like no i'm done w it i'll henna it. and i accidentally got the WRONG COLOR and it was like. honestly a pretty shade #it made my hair veryyy coppery in the sun #but i'm never in the sun!!! i'm just inside and it looked mostly like a slightly warmer brown #and i was like FUCK well my dreams are dashed forevermore #and then i was like hey wait isnt henna the plant just Red. so shouldnt i get a henna that simply is not blended with anything else #and so i got the Just Red henna and now it's PERFECT it's suchhhh a bright red #and it's absolutely brassy and i absolutely don't care i love it i MISSED IT #my eyes are very grey but they have a little green in em and red hair sets them off very nicely i think. not that anyone except me #cares because again i do Not Go Outside but it's nice to enjoy looking at smth in the mirror 😭 LMFAO

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