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childishfluff · 4 years ago

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(im gonna be sending a few seperate asks since theyre seperate thoughts/ideas, sorry for any sort of inbox spam!!) ur pet regressor tommy fic led me into a whole wormhole of many different ideas.. esp abt who else is a pet regressor!!

- wilbur (cat regressor!! also very relaxed, he *will* just sleep on phil or techno's lap for hours on end. mostly nonverbal, but will meow every now nd again. mostly communicates through actions. he can purr. doesn't drop often, but when he does, it's due to extreme stress- meaning he can be pretty sensitive while he's in catspace.)

- tubbo (puppy regressor, but definitely more of a relaxed dog aside from the amnt he communicates, especially through barking, whimpering, and soft "awooo!!"'s. loves snuggles. sometimes, he's scared to come of as annoying, so he's hesitant to slip into pupspace, normally needing someone to help him along and tell him that it's ok for him to be a puppy, nd that he's a very very good boy.)

- karl (kitten regressor!!!! he's either really sleepy or really playful/energetic, and he has no in between on that. he meows.. so much.. all he kno is meow meow!! *very* sensitive while dropped, and as such, he needs a lot of validation and love. will get extremely upset with himself if he notices that anyone is even *slightly* mad/irritated by him.)

- nick (sapnap) (PUPPY REGRESSOR 100000%!!! he's very very loud and extremely playful!!! he can be entertained for *hours* w literally anything, especially toys like chew bones. doesn't really drop too often, but when he does, he drops very very far. something that can trigger his drops is when people compare his traits/actions to those of a dog because he just goes yes!! yes me!!!! dog!!! me!!!! also he loves karl *so* much because karl absolutely spoils him rotten when he's in pupspace.)

- ranboo (kitty regressor!! similar to karl, he can be really sensitive while he's dropped. entirely nonverbal, opting for actions instead. he's a mix of both playful and sleepy. when he sleeps, he curls his entire body up into a circle nd kneads at whatever he's sleeping on until he falls asleep.)

- dream (cat regressor!! sleeps a lot when he's dropped, hes just vv tired. mimics patches, and loves to follow her around/act like she does. even bases his catgear around patches, with tabby-colored cat ears and an outfit based off of similar colors. drops very easily, mostly voluntarily.)

those r the ones i can think of now.. id love to know ypur opinions/interpretations of them!! -🌻

OKAY I’M GONNA GO THROUGH THESE ONE BY ONE, AND SHARE MY THOUGHTS+OTHER POSSIBLE HCS/FIC SCENARIOS, SO LONG POST WARNING Y’ALL

1. Cat Regressor! Wilbur

yes yes yes, I wouldn’t of thought of it myself but the idea is absolutely adorable! I’d totally write that, with like handler/cg!niki in addition to those you listed. And the idea of him using it for stress and therefore being sensitive in catspace? like, that’s amazing.

I could imagine a fic where someone pushes him to regress for fun for once, but he feels like it’s stupid to purposely act like a cat when he doesn’t need it? They don’t pressure him, or anything, but he ends up slipping because he feels safe. and he realizes not only does it help with stress, but it just makes him more happy!

also imagine him slipping around tommy for whatever reason, and just wanting to sleep while Tommy’s trying to do something fun. So he’s dragging around a sleepy kitten and waking him up every two seconds, and it’s really soft and adorable and ends up with Wilbur sleeping somewhat on Tommy so that he can’t get up and he’s like ‘you’re so lucky I love you, dude.’ awww I need to write a fic- no promises but y’know

2.Puppy Regressor!Tubbo

someone actually requested a puppy regressors!tubbo and tommy fic that I’m having trouble writing, like it sounds cute but it’s kinda hard bc I’ve never written puppyspace before. I actually decided to start over but I’ma keep trying on that.

anyways, imagine like, Ranboo or Tommy helping him slip over a discord call! Needing help to regress is something that I understand (I age regress, but I haven’t in a while due to this issue), so I could probably write Tubbo in that position well. Needing to be coaxed and told that it’s okay to be a cute lil puppy, like that’s adorable!

3. Kitten Regressor!Karl

tbh I tried to write kitten!karl but I was half asleep and gave up, I need to get back to that hjsiksja. Like I specialize in writing sensitive regressors w/anxiety over someone being mad at them, so I could definitely pull this off.

and the idea of him being a talkative kitty is sooo cute! Like I can imagine something along the lines of this conversation between him and a handler/cg:

“What do you want?”

“Meowww”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Meow?” (little head tilt and innocent cute eyes)

“Do you want cuddles?”

*excited meows! and he goes and cuddles up in their lap bc yay, they understood him!*

and imagine kitten!karl playing w/Quackity! very very adorable concept

4. Puppy Regressor! Sapnap

okay okay so I don’t watch sapnap really but this is still adorable! Like the whole ‘me, puppy? yes.’ thing is soooo cute! Imagine George or Dream just forgetting that’s a trigger and making a joke about how one of his mannerisms reminds them of a puppy and suddenly! There’s a puppy to take care of!

and karl spoiling him sounds like something he’d do hjsiksjsa. I can’t really add much on here bc idk much about him/his content past the smp but this is so cute! Maybe I’ll watch a few of his videos and attempt writing him bc I keep getting requests for him

5. Kitten Regressor! Ranboo

yes, I was already thinking about this tbh! Like I’ve written him as a little and it’s kinda similar, he’s sensitive, and he’s less verbal the littler he gets. As a kitten, I can easily picture him just being quiet.

I imagine that he’s really pouty because of this, because he doesn’t know how to communicate otherwise, so this might confuse anyone who may take care of him.

“Why are you pouting? Do you want cuddles? Food? Do you wanna play?”

and he just doesn’t reply bc he’s a kitten and he can’t talk so it’s an endless cycle of guess and check until they reach the right answer, and it’s really funny to watch. I can also imagine that he giggles a lot. Like he’s not verbal or anything, and he doesn’t giggle a lot but sometimes it happens! and if you make him giggle while in kittenspace then you did something right!

it makes everyone happy when he giggles and it’s really soft and cute! I definitely think I’ll write a fic with kitten!ranboo in it, at some point eventually, I think!

6. Cat Regressor! Dream

awwwww- I didn’t even consider the possibility of this but awwww. Imagine Wilbur and Dream in catspace together, just sleeping and cuddling while basically all the other kittens are playing and being hyper. And everyone’s trying to get them to play but they’re sleepy! (ofc they end up playing anyways bc their friends are adorable and convincing but y’know)

and I really like the idea of him mimicking patches! I’ve seen a few pet regresors say that they mimick/copy their pets so it kinda feels realistic and likely! and plus, it’s really cute.

and since his regression is voluntary, I can imagine him like one minute, just chillin w/george and sapnap and going ‘what if- what if I just went *cat mode*’ and he tries to hint to his friends that he wants to slip but they’re not getting it so it’s kinda frustrating for him but funny for the readers to see play out bc George and Sapnap are being completely oblivious to everything. Hjsiksja that’d be funny

Thank you for sending this it, like seriously! It was really fun to go through and talk about these, I might make additional headcannon lists once I’m actually awake tomorrow bc I shouldn’t be up rn but yeah, I just wanted to go through and respond to this! <3

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touchmycoat · 4 years ago

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OP!Anon for Leverage!HX/LQG: *SCREAM* oh I adore how you wrote this - HX is so good at reading everyone and understanding how to motivate/manipulate them, except for lqg. I love how angry he got at the idea of lqg seeing him in the same light as swd, and also how lqg's just like, yep, swd's gotta die when he heard the full story. I love the idea of HC coming in like the king he is and laying down the law about XL. ahhhhhhh!!!! just imagining hx and lqg getting close after lots of shenanigans!

teamwork baby

"Xue Yang must die" is literally one of my favorite WWX quotes of all time LMFAO time to pay homage

so you know how in book 3, during the Black Water arc, HX is there trying to push his whole scheme forward? It's well-timed, well-thought-out, but the only fucking spanner that keeps jumping back into his work is XL-and-therefore-HC? Yeah I imagine working with grifter!HC is pretty much like that. He's always late or never shows up at all to briefings, or he shows up to the very end to hear the conclusion and goes "Nope, that's fucking stupid, change it." SQQ's like "Why??" and HC's like "oh, lil boy can't figure it out?"

and whenever they have an actual plan going, HC sometimes just shows up and starts doing his own thing in the middle and forces HX to keep up. This is often motivated by one of XL's jobs, and XL would ask if HC knows a little piece of intel, and HC would be like "oh you know what, I actually have a hostage right here to ask about that, one moment please :)" and utterly prioritize XL's thing. HX has to change the job on the fly so many times, and it's so fucking annoying, but it's not like HC leaves him at a dead end, so he always does find a way out.

(this got fucking long, but HX/LQG under the cut)

Bingliushen are also annoyed as fuck, but while they're godtier at their own things, none of them are mastermind-level (yet—Binghe's gonna get there, isn't he), so they just have to put their faith in HX and keep chugging forward. This is how the foundation builds, y'know? HX insists to both others and himself that he's being honest and faithful to his team because that's just the best way to handle them, not 'cause he's actually a team player and not 'cause he cares for anybody at all. And LQG's a simple guy—you save my life, I'll save yours. You act in good faith, I'll be loyal in turn.

It starts with something small. HX's suffered tremendous loss, and has been on his own for a very, very long time. He's used to taking care of himself, but we all know LQG's love language is "here, you dropped this. I've been quietly paying attention to everything you like and do, no big deal." So maybe it happens on a mission. HC has three marks to dupe in succession, and they're playing a nasty Big Pharma group, so it's hitting close to home for HX. At the last minute though, HC says over the comm, "the CEO & CFO made me. Must've recognized me from speaking to the secretary earlier. He Xuan."

"Can you still do the COO?"

"I'm not about to waste this outfit, am I."

and HX has to hop in and do 2/3rds of the grifting himself, which is fine, he's completely capable of this, he's a goddamn prodigy at hiding his murderous tendencies. but out of nowhere LQG is on the line, "Shen Qingqiu, you said you can hack the finances, right?"

"Yes, but nothing else."

"Then He Xuan doesn't have to talk to the CFO. Give me 2 minutes, I'll knock him out."

and HX doesn't stop him because sure, why not? It was more efficient for HC to do three of them at once, but now that it was HX doing it (and HX still has his own part to play), it would save them more effort if LQG goes for the blunt force solution. But it rubs HX the wrong way—what the fuck? Yeah, HX may not like grifting as much as HC, the stupid drama queen, but hasn't he proven himself every bit as capable of it? Why did LQG think it necessary to, what, bail him out?

So that night, after debrief, HX pulls LQG aside to give him a piece of his mind. "Don't ever try to override my judgment again." "What are you talking about?" "I made a call, I did not need your 'help' on the grift." "That wasn't help." "Then what was it." "You hate talking to guys like that!" "???" "You didn't need to talk to him, and I was right there. It was the obvious thing to do."

and HX still doesn't get it, not until the next day, when SQQ and HX are quietly setting up for the morning, and SQQ says out of the blue, "that's just how he cares. Liu Qingge, I mean. It's never an ego thing once he's your friend."

"I don't need friends," is HX's automatic response.

"No," SQQ snorts in agreement. "You need revenge. That's fine. Then I'm sure he'll get over it."

Which—okay—no? Bastard. That's just a passive aggressive attempt at a guilt trip, and it's not going to work. HX has already made it abundantly clear from the get-go that this was simply a job, he was the pointman, once they were done everybody will go on their way. It's not his fault SQQ dragged in a hitman with the loyalty instincts of a german shepherd, and it's certainly none of his business whether LQG treats him as friend or a colleague.

LQG will just have to be disappointed.

BUT OF COURSE WHAT GOES ON TO HAPPEN IS THAT HX sees more and more of the things LQG does, the ways LQG manages to be thoughtful. The way LQG handles visitors during HX’s mealtimes despite how much LQG hates talking to randos, bc HX has bad food days and can’t really stand eating with others. The time they had some time to kill undercover in a consultant’s office, and HX passed the time by pointing out all the things wrong with the office’s mini-aquarium set-up, so when SQQ brought up something inane about decorating their headquarters, LQG made HX draw up specs for a saltwater tank of their own. HX and everybody else kept insisting it was a waste of time, but LQG still went ahead and got it made anyways, and now it’s HX’s favorite thing in the entire HQ.

But HX wasn’t about to owe anybody anything. If LQG insists on this game, then fine, HX was going to play to win. He requisitions new toys (read: weapons) for LQG, he builds heists around the sole purpose of giving LQG a room of satisfying bad guys to beat up, he goes to the gym and spars with LQG, he even tries to give LQG’s weirdly famous younger sister’s novel a read—which was a lot. Ahem. But LQG loves his younger sister, so surely this would be the ultimate “hah! I’ve given you more than you’ve given me! I win! move.

...turns out LQG’s never read the damn thing, and just takes everything HX gives him in total stride. “We still on for tomorrow?” “...Yes.” “Cool. See you.” And HX’s over here totally overthinking EVERYTHING while LQG’s just chilling, super matter-of-fact.

Fuck, were they friends???

HX rage-panics, because he does. not. need. friends. And it has nothing to do with how everyone he’s ever loved dies, it has nothing to do with the careful balance of vengeful fury and self-hatred inside him that’s about to tip over any day now, once they take down SWD. It has nothing to do with HX being too traumatized and grief-stricken to imagine moving on from revenge, to ever imagine being simply content again.

His eating habits get worse. One day he snaps at LQG for pining so much after SQQ. “You already know he’s never going to return your feelings. It’s embarrassing to watch you insist on giving so much when he’s not going to give anything back.”

“Shut up,” LQG snaps, “it’s not about getting anything back.”

But that makes it worse. Of course HX wasn’t actually talking about SQQ, though sure, that’s annoying too. LBh obviously knows, so why can’t they take their infernal flirting somewhere private, instead of flaunting it in front of LQG all the time?? But the fault’s with LQG too, what with all the giving. He should find someone more worthy of his affections and stop wasting his time here.

HX cuts everything he and LQG has built up in one fell swoop��completely gives him the cold shoulder. Only ever talks about work, no more dry quips, no more infodumps on niche hobbies. HX wishes he could destroy the tank at HQ, but that would be way too confrontational at this stage.

Until one mission, when LQG knows HX is not in a good place, and keeps trying to argue HX out of doing something excessively risky. HX rounds on him and says, “you’re just a hired gun, so shut up and shoot where I'm pointing, or you can pack your things and get out.”

LQG goes red, then white, and storms away.

“Nice sucker punch,” HC comments idly where he’s lounging on the side. Who knows when the fuck he showed up. “Right where it hurts.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know. His five-year stint with the Sha City Demons?”

Of course HX knows about that. He’s looked thoroughly into everybody’s backgrounds. But what does that have to do with this?

“Gege is the best at this, after all. See you and I, we stopped asking questions once we knew the name, because we don’t think people are ever as pure and good as they pretend to be. But you know what Dianxia said, after I mentioned Liu Qingge’s old gig to him? ‘Five years, hm? I wonder what they had on him. In my experience, men like Liu Qingge don’t work for crews like the Sha Demons. And in order to sink their claws deeper into men like him, the Demons always make them do the worst jobs.’ Just a hired gun indeed.”

That’s right. LQG gets a Moreau backstory of his own. HX feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.

“Fuck.”

“I don’t know why you’re so stressed out about it. He is just a hired gun—”

“You know why. Fuck.”

“So get out of my face and do something about it already. You know where he’s gone, I know you’ve put trackers on your entire team.”

“...”

“You didn’t? No, you didn’t put one on him? My god, you do care.”

While HC’s busy sounding disgusted, HX is reeling. He just sent the best hitman in the field packing, and was an absolute dick about it. He was not a kind man, but he also wasn’t a cruel one. He believes in fairness, and everything he said simply had not been fair. It had all been his own guilt and issues talking; if he really didn’t give a damn, then he wouldn’t have...done all this.

“How much are you willing to pay?” HC says, swiping at his phone.

“What?”

“Because I don’t trust any of you, and did put a tracking device on Liu Qingge.” He sure has—HC is waving the loading tracking app in HX’s face. “So I’m asking, how much are you willing to pay?”

...And that’s the reason why HX owes HC so much damn money.

#leverage AU #he xuan #lqg #anon this is so much fun TTTTTT #i'm about to rewatch leverage 'cause of you

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seijch · 4 years ago

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 5 years ago

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Hey, so I really like your work so I have a request 👀 maybe you could write Luke and reader being best friends but both having deeper feelings, they're roommates but they fight over Luke's gf bc he says that she needs to move out bc his girlfriend wants to move in and she doesn't like reader so she ends up leaving and running with Crystal but she asks to not tell anyone (except Mike for obvious reasons) that she's there and Luke is really worried but he and reader end up together, pretty please

I LOVE THIS REQUEST!! Sorry if I didn’t do it justice, but I hope you like it!

Also I’m so sorry that the layout went weird! I posted it from my computer and now it looks odd on the phone!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Love? Love. - L. Hemmings

"If she gets those fake blonde extensions wrapped around my straightener one more time, Lucas, I will rip them out myself."

He simply sighed, focusing more of his attention on his phone rather than his best friend.

Y/N and Luke has been best friends since they were 17. They kindled their friendship on the very last day of year 12, such as she did with Calum and Michael.

Since that day, as they sat in the barren English Room and discussed everything and anything that came to mind, her and Luke had been inseparable.

She was the Bucky to his Steve, the Yang to his Yin, the regular sized human to his giant stature.

Well, until Suzanna stepped into the picture.

She is 5"7, coated in fake tan that was applied by somebody with the vision of Stevie Wonder and fake blonde extensions that accentuate how beautiful she would be, if she toned down the Geordie Shore look.

Y/N couldn't help but wonder if her personality would be able to shine brightly through the thick foundation, if she had one, that is.

"Thank you for pretending to listen to me, I appreciate it so much," she rolled her eyes.

For the past few weeks the air in the house had been incredibly tense.

"Y/N?" He asked, his voice hesitant. "Can I talk to you about something?"

She couldn't stop her eyes from lighting up. This was the calmest her and luke had been with each other in almost a week, and she would take any chance to talk to him in a civilized manner.

To be honest, the idea of talking to him did nothing to quell the overflowing feelings she had for the man.

"Is that even a question? You can always talk to me, Lu," she sat opposite to him on the lounge, pulling her legs up underneath her.

He was nervous. That was obvious in the way he raked his fingers through his blonde curls. Suzanna constantly hounded at him to cut his hair but Y/N knew how much he loved his hair.

She couldn't deny that she adored the ringlets that decorated his soft locks.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a little bit," he rung his hands together, spinning rings on his fingers. "I, um, I'm gonna need you to move out."

He mumbled the last few words, sighing softly when she asked him to repeat it. It's safe to say, she was at a loss of words.

"You - you want me to move out? Why?" Her eyebrow was cocked, and she tilted her head to the side slightly.

Luke couldn't help but admire how much she resembled a puppy dog. He always found her to be a mix of adorable and purely beautiful. Which is part of the reason he forced himself to say yes when Suzanna asked to take a larger step in their relationship.

He had spent so much time fighting his feelings for Y/N. Suzanna helped, but he still needed to force himself to deny his feelings in favour of the smaller ones he had for his girlfriend.

He was cruel, he knew it.

"Suzanna and I were talking, and we’re ready to move in together. And she couldn't move in here because of-"

"Because of what? Because I can't stand the woman that has cheated on you multiple times?" Y/N was angry, that much she knew. She couldn't believe the audacity. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Well I would love nothing more than for my girlfriend and my best friend to get along but you make it so difficult for Suzanna to get to know you," he snapped pinching the bridge of his nose between his long fingers.

"I gave her a chance before she slept with one of your mates, Luke. As far as I'm concerned, you should have gotten rid of her months ago when she did it a second time."

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" His eyes were narrowed and the blue orbs held the same lack of patience she had seen a lot over the past week.

She opened her mouth to retort but couldn't find the words to say. Truthfully, she was shattered when Luke told her about his relationship, but she decided to be the bigger person and let go of the idea that Luke could be hers. Their friendship has lasted too long for that to be a possibility.

Luke's comment set her off.

"Oh so I am meant to happy for you, with the Geordie Barbie who fucks another guy regularly, but you couldn't be happy for me with Daniel?"

"Daniel was an asshole!"

"And so is Suzanna!"

They were both on their feet now, staring each other down with a ferocity they hadn't seen since an argument in their teenage years.

Sure, Daniel was a bit of an asshole, but Luke knew he was in the wrong for hating the man so fiercely. The moment he had finally worked up the nerve to ask Y/N on a date - a real date - Daniel swept in and the two were together for almost a year until he started getting more controlling.

The last straw was when Daniel flipped because of the close relationship Y/N and Luke shared and Luke threw a punch at him.

"You're jealous," Luke scoffed, his blue eyes aimed anywhere but at her for he knew his anger was unwarranted but he couldn't bare to face the truth about his relationship.

"Excuse me?" She cocked a brow again and he had to glance away quickly as his eyes fell on her for a second.

"You are jealous that I can keep somebody around and you haven't been able to keep anybody around for almost a year." His brows were pinched tight together and he squared his shoulders.

It was easy for Y/N to notice the slight hunch in his posture, a symbol that he was immediately guilt stricken by his words.

"Oh, I'm so sorry that I can't settle for somebody who doesn't deserve me," she barked out a sarcastic laugh, slamming her hand on the bench to grab her keys.

Luke opened his mouth to retort, but she fixed him with a glare so angry that he physically recoiled.

She slipped her vans on at the door, grabbing her bag off of the hook where she organized all of her daily belongings. She was meticulous and Luke had always admired how neat she was compared to his disorganized chaos.

"You wanted me gone? I'm going. Don't bother contacting me til you wake up to yourself," she stomped towards the door, pausing as she pulled the wood open. "I'll have my stuff gone by the end of the week. Tell Barbie to keep my straightener. God knows she fucked it anyways."

The door slammed behind her and the entire house instantly felt as if the warmth was gone.

She went straight to Crystal's house. The woman was packing for the impending move to a new house; one which her and Michael would share.

"So he wants you to move out so that thing can move in?" Her voice was laced with disgust.

All of them despise Suzanna. The woman had hurt Luke more times than they could count, she blatantly ignores or insults both Y/N and Crystal for fear of any sort of threat in her relationship, yet she regularly cheats on him.

Go figure.

Y/N made a noise of agreement around her glass of wine. The minute she had stepped in the door Crystal had phoned Micheal and ordered a Girls Night, to which Y/N profusely demanded that she would make it up to the couple whose date night she disturbed.

"He better hope I don't get my hands on him, Y/N."

"It's not worth it Crys," she sighed, swirling the contents of her glass in a circle. "I've been basically invisible in that house since the Barbie started coming around."

Crystal pulled the girl into a hug. Not many knew of her hidden feelings for Luke, but Crystal figured it out after a week of knowing the pair.

"I'll cut her extensions and glue them to Luke's eyebrows."

<><><><><><>

Exactly a month had passed. Y/N had ordered Crystal and Michael to not speak a word of where she was because she didn't want to see Luke. Instead, she found a small apartment to live in, while she gathered her wits to find a better place.

She knew it was petty, but she didn't have the care to feel guilty.

Luke on the other hand, was going insane and harbored so much regret surrounding his decision that he couldn't bare to think straight.

Moving in with Suzanna did nothing to make the home feel less empty. Y/N had made sure to collect the rest of her things while Luke was out.

She knew his schedule inside and out and used it to her advantage.

Luke wanted nothing more than to see her face. To hear her voice. The time apart made him realize just how deep his feelings went. The same feelings he had spent many years attempting to bury.

Now his only fear was that he would never get the chance to tell the woman how much he needs her in his life.

That, and how he would manage to get rid of the woman who he had caught sneaking out of their house at all hours of the night.

He didn't know what to expect when he entered his house to hear pornographic moans echoing from the bedroom.

He didn't feel angry. He didn't feel sad. He didn't even feel betrayed.

In fact, he couldn't contain his laughter. After all, catching her in the act of cheating on him simply opened the window for him to break up with her without the guilt.

He simply walked towards their bedroom door, which was ajar, and entered with no hesitation.

He was met with the sight of a bare assed male and a moaning Suzanna.

"I'm breaking up with you," he had a wide smile on his face, already planning his next actions with severe determination. He pulled his long curls into a small bun at the back of his head, “Please get out by tomorrow?"

He didn't leave room for her to argue, instead choosing to snatch his keys off of the bench and exit the house while Suzanna called him from behind.

The minute his backside hit the seat of his Jeep, he had the key turned in the ignition and he was dialing Crystal's phone number.

If anybody knew how to get in contact with Y/N, it would be the woman she had the closest bond to.

"What do you want, Luke?"

"Is Y/N at your house?" He asked quickly.

He was met with silence for a moment. He knew that Crystal knew where she was, but he also knew Crystal would most likely be reluctant.

"Why should I tell you? Want to go kick her out of her own house again?" He heard the malice in her voice.

It was obvious that after a month the pain would still linger. He deserved to be spoken to in such a way.

He knew he had a lot to make up for.

A deep sigh sounded through the receiver, and Crystal took another moment to reply.

"She is going to kill me for this, but I swear, you better be taking your breadstick ass over to apologise or I will kill you myself," she recited the address for an apartment not far from where Crystal and Michael now lived, and hung the phone up without another word.

He arrived at the apartment block soon after, and rushed up the stairs - not having the patience to wait for the elevator.

Number 304 shone brightly in his vision, and his heart tugged at the thought of seeing Y/N again.

He knocked with such urgency that caused the girl inside to jump out of her seat.

The door swung open and before she could close it in his face a converse covered foot was wedged between the door and the frame.

He cringed at the pain but refused to move it.

"What do you want?" Her voice was hard, and his stomach lurched at the sound. Even if she was mad, she still sounded more melodic that he ever could.

He chose to jump straight to the point, not wanting to leave room for her to reject him before he could confess.

"I have been in love with you since a few months after we met. I realised it when we were at your house, and you were doting over your baby cousin," His eyes were basically smiling, as he retrieved the fond memory. "Since that moment, I have done my best to push down how I feel about you, but I am sick of hiding it. I just broke up with Suzanna. I walked in on her with another guy, but I can't do this without you. I can't go back to that house for another minute without you there."

She was at a loss for words. He spoke so fast that it took a moment to piece his sentences together, and when she did, she couldn't help the confused look that coated her features.

"You- what?"

"I broke up with Suzanna," he had a wide smile on his face that she couldn't comprehend.

"Finally?"

"Yes. And, I have been in love with you since we were 18."

"Are you sure?" She cocked her head again.

The action made his stomach erupt in butterflies. He truly adored how she could look so cute through a simple gesture.

Y/N was genuinely confused. She knew how she felt about Luke. The month apart from him hadn't done anything to stop those feelings.

She truly had feelings stronger for him than she had for any of her past relationships. If she were to think about it, she would even say that she loved him.

"How could I not be sure?" He pinched his brows together in confusion. He grabbed both of her hands in his, leading her into the house and to the lounge where they both slumped down.

She stammered, "Where did this even come from? How?-"

He moved his hands to the side of her face, framing her confused expression.

She didn't know how to feel. For so long, Y/N had longed for Luke to notice her in such a way, and now that he is admitting that he has felt the same way about her that she had about him for so long, she was truly at a loss of words.

His eyes were full of pent up emotion. He didn't necessarily look sad, but he looked the most apologetic she had ever seen him, and she had been there through many emotions with the man,"Y/N, I'm sorry. Not just for what happened last month, but for everything I have done. I'm sorry I couldn't work up the courage to confess to you so many years ago, I'm sorry I let my jealousy ruin your relationship with Daniel, I am sorry I wasted time with other girls just to try and deny how much I truly adore you, and I am sorry that I ever thought I would be happy choosing anybody over you. I can't stand to live without you, and even if you have zero feelings for me in the same way I feel for you, would you please come back-"

She pulled his hands from her face and put her own on his before crushing her lips against his in an urgent moment of passion.

The contact was full of so much emotion, and it was the most loving kiss she had experienced from any of those who she had kissed.

It was intimate, but not rushed. Simply lips against lips; no pushing to move it deeper.

They pulled back after an unknown time, and she bumped her nose against his.

"I can't tell you how long I have wanted to do that for," she told him, feeling most of her anger melt away along with her confusion.

Instead, they both felt a love that they hadn't felt before.

"Come back, please?" He was ready to beg. Hell, he was ready to not go back to that house until she was ready to go with him.

"My name's still on the lease, you can bet your thick ass I'm coming back. But if I see one blonde hair extension, I will go on the warpath," she smirked at him, staring at his plump lips.

"I'll make sure it's spotless for your return," Luke beamed at her, feeling his nerves both escape his body and ignite at her touch.

"Good. Now get back over here and kiss me some more."

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #crystal leigh #michael clifford #calum hood #Ashton irwin

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haikyuuscreaming · 5 years ago

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omg hi! you started off your blog greatly, im so proud of you! do you think you can write an angsty scenario for akaashi? where his crush likes this guy and wants help from him and he feels all sad :( but she ends up confessing to him! i love your writing so far, keep it up!

UMM so i accidentally got really invested in this so it’s WAYY longer than a drabble and i often write long stuff bc of ao3 so this might sound a little more like that kinda fanfic style instead of a tumblr scenario? mainly cos im really a sucker for this stuff hehehe love you anon

also ! the request made it sound sort of akaashi-centric so i hope you dont mind? there will still be a lot of reader-chan here though! please dont leave yet and i hope u enjoy

again ALSO i wrote this half on my laptop half on my phone so please dont mind if it seems a lil clunky in some areas

3092 words jesus ok here you go

Crushes weren’t necessarily a new sensation for Akaashi. Just an uncommon one. In fact, the last time he remembers even being attracted to someone was in first grade when everyone had a crush on this popular girl. He’s not even sure if he really liked her, or just found the idea of it interesting.

Now, second year of high school, Akaashi finds himself in trouble. Because for once, he really, really, really likes this girl. You.

He can’t even fake himself out of this, because every damn time he looks at you, he feels all warm and tingly and his stomach feels less calm and he can hear his heart bump against his ribcage and god, his face even flushes a little bit.

(A little bit inconvenient when he accidentally finds himself staring at you and daydreaming.)

Akaashi doesn’t like this feeling.

I mean, yeah, Akaashi has somewhat of a sense of confidence in his looks, manners, and ability to make friends. He’s not exactly the top in each subject he thinks, but it lets him pass through high school without too much of a depressingly lonely life. He could easily befriend you and steal your heart, his inner ego-brat says.

But.. but what if you reject him?

He should become closer to you.

(For the record, he doesn’t not like the feeling. He kind of likes the serotonin boost you give him. But he definitely, more than kind of likes you.

A lot more.)

And one day, in the spring, he finds himself paired up with a special biology partner. With familiar, sparkling eyes and the cutest, most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard that always makes his heart fucking backflip.

Akaashi doesn’t think he can survive this.

His teacher blares, “Start brainstorming ideas for your science fair project! It’s due in a month, you know!”, but Akaashi blocks out the noise because all he can focus on is you, goddamn it. He can only focus on the way you push your hair out of your face, the way your lips upturn into the most stunning smile he’s ever had the fate of encountering, and he really hopes he doesn’t get h-

“Akaashi-kun?”

(Fuck you and your completely gorgeous voice that drives him up the wall and makes him want to kiss you.)

“Oh– sorry, yeah?” He kind of hates himself for how his voice lilted a pitch higher.

You laugh, sounding like a goddess. He hopes that it means you don’t hate him. “Ahaha, I was just wondering if you have any ideas for the science fair? It’s a pretty big chunk of our grade, and I am… not the smartest when it comes to AP Bio..”

Akaashi thinks quite the opposite, but he isn’t currently in the position to contradict you.

“Um…” He pauses and thinks furiously. He comes up with some borderline generic idea that has enough room for a unique twist. And your eyes brighten.

“Waaaoo, Akaashi-kun’s a genius, hm?”

(God, he thinks he might have a little more than a crush on that teasing grin and glittering pair of eyes.)

He musters the courage to smile without looking stupid. “Of course.”

Two weeks later, he wants to sink into a hole.

Yes, it might have been his request that you two meet up to work on the project, but that was because he knew you were a procrastinator! You would start the project the night before if he’d let you!

But it was not his idea to do it at his house.

Now he has to live with the fact that you’re lying on HIS bed, spread-eagled in your sweater and shorts, complaining about how lazy you are.

(He wonders how you’re so comfortable about wearing shorts to a male classmate’s house. You two aren’t even that close, although you claim otherwise.)

“Come on, get up,” he rolls his eyes. “We have work to do.”

“But I’m so tiiiiiredddd… and lazyyyy…. wouldn’t it be such a gentlemanly act of Akaashi-kun to do the project for me?” You flash him a sweet smile while stretching out even more on the bed.

Snorting, he watches you sink into his mattress and roll around idly. “Hey, don’t you need the grade? You can’t pass if you make me do your work.”

Sighing, you hum in defeated content. “Well, it was worth a try.” You reach out your hand and tousle his wavy hair, and he almost flinches at the touch. He hates to say it but he loves it so much that you’re so affection with him, and Akaashi knows he would give anything to keep you teasing him with all this attention.

“Yeah.. yeah, it was,” he murmurs to himself before letting himself sit down next to you. He notices how you scrunch your body from a spread-eagle to a cute, curled up position to make room for him.

“Mm, so how are we gonna do this?” you ask, with a subtle mixture of bored and curious seeping into your tone. Then, he watches your features melt into a warm, mischievous smile as you hum, “Unless you just wanna nap and cuddle or something.”

(Holy fuck.)

Akaashi forces himself to scowl playfully and he shakes his head, sighing loudly in mock disappointment. “I don’t know what to do with you.” And equally as teasing, he adds, “I should just kick you out and not treat you to lunch if you’re going to be like this.”

“Noooooo!!!” you whine in this adorably frustrated and threatening voice. “Don’t you dare starve me or I’m feeding you to the rats.”

He chuckles. “See, that’s what I thought.”

But of course, your face wraps into a devilish grin as you say in a singsong voice and throw your arms around him (which makes him flush and makes his heart go WABAM), “It doesn’t matter though, ‘cause I got this whole-ass meal right here~”

“Shut up.”

(But you both know he never means it.)

Thanks to Akaashi (and your obliging albeit lazy participation), you two blow the science fair out of the way and get an A. He’s never seen you so delighted about a grade.

“I’m so happy~” you never shut up about how grateful you are for him, not that he’s complaining. “This is probably the highest mark I’ve ever gotten in this class.”

“Don’t over exaggerate. You’re not too bad at Bio,” Akaashi remarks. “You just need a tutor, probably, if you’re struggling.”

(By the way, he is ecstatic that you two are ACTUALLY FRIENDS!!! He’s even met your dog!!)

“Hmmmm…” You eye him warily before shrugging. “Whatever you say, Akaashi-kun.” Your eyes flit around before returning on him, and you start rambling about the newest anime you’ve gotten into and how it’s practically on-par with the manga, and how hot one of their characters are-

(For some reason Akaashi really zeroes in on that part.)

He really feels like he has to contribute something to the conversation, so he puts in, “Wow, [Name]-san, you’re such a fangirl.”

You snort loudly and put two peace-signs to your face like some kawaii anime girl, doing this mock-sweet smile. “Waaaooo, you’re rightttt. I’m Akaashi-kun’s number one fan!! He’s so cute when he’s yelling at me to do my work and super hot when he helps me with homew-”

He swears to god his face is radiating an inhuman amount of heat and he rolls his eyes before shaking his head and jabbing your side lightly. “Didn’t I tell you not to say that?”

“Ummm, maybe.” Your ‘innocent’ grin tells him otherwise. “But you know, you’re right, Akaashi-kun,” you cross your arms and give your cute little smirk again. “I am a genius, and I’m suuuper good at Bio. I just need someone to channel it.” And you lean forward until both your noses are touching, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode. “So maybe you could help me out?”

The subtle pleading undercurrent in your voice compels Akaashi to straighten up a little bit without flushing even redder. Keep cool, keep cool.

(He prays that his skill of keeping a poker face will hide the blood rushing around in his dick.)

“Well, what time?”

This time around, he finds himself at your house instead. You both are sitting at your desk, ‘working’ on your math and Bio homework. In other words, just talking.

He’s confident now in that the two of you are close friends. He’s learned that from afar, you were a sweet and confident yet perfectly kind girl. That was the girl he based his feelings off of. During your Bio project, he found the cheeky, sly and vibrant yet chill girl who always teased him but was still nonetheless sweet.

And now, under that facade, you were an anxious mess with a shit-ton of insecurities.

(He thinks it’s funny how you boast that you’re just like Shrek. You have layers.)

Akaashi glances at you, groaning with your head down onto the table. “I hate math..” he hears you grumble.

“Hey, you’re not too bad. You just have to be careful when plugging in your equations,” he counters.

“But what if I can’t remember my equations??”

“We both know you’re fine at remembering them.”

“I’m gonna fail.”

“Have faith in yourself, because I do.” And Akaashi is being completely honest. His confidence in you being just fine and being able to pass all your classes is strong because he’s seen you work (after procrastinating). “You just have to work on not putting things off until the last minute.”

You make a frustrated noise before resting your chin on your propped hand. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just.. destined to be set back, y’know? Like, everything I do is gonna somehow backfire on me.”

He knows the feeling, especially late at night in bed, stressing over what tomorrow might bring him.

“And like… I have this whole thing set up for me. When people know me as a classmate, I’m an average student, right? Then when we’re like… ‘friends’, I’m all weird and tease-y.” You let out a loud sigh. “And to the unlucky people who get to this stage, I’m a mess.”

“Stop.” Akaashi’s surprised at how firm he is. “I’m grateful to have met you and to have become your friend, [Name]. You’re going to be fine, you need to trust yourself more. Because I trust you more than anything.”

(Yes, he is on first-name basis with you!! Yes, he trusts you even more than he might even trust Bokuto!!)

Your lips twitch into a small smile, one that he’s grown to love and adore. He’s confident that he’s so fucking deep in love and he doesn’t know how to move on. “You really think so?”

“Of course I do.” He flicks some crumpled-up post-it at you. “Since we’re not doing any homework anytime soon, what else do you want to talk about?”

Your gaze becomes a little more shy and nervous. “Umm… Weeell, I need help.”

“I mean, why else would I be here?”

“No, seriously, Keiji-kun. Seriously!!” You throw mock-fit, despite obviously looking anxious.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m listening. Sorry.”

“Uh. Um, so…” You blink and pretend to look focused on doodling on the corner of your math paper. “There’s this dude I like. Like, I reaaally like him, which is surprising even for me.” You laugh a little bit, and as Akaashi feels his heart start to tear in half, he forces out a chuckle to match. “He’s suuuper pretty– I think that’s the word for it? Pretty. And he’s kinda funny in his own way, and he’s really sweet and listens to me all the time even when I don’t deserve his time. And I dunno, I think he might like me back? Also, I really really really like him. But I don’t really know how to confess…

“Because you know, I’m kinda wack like that, haha. I’ll probably screw up the confession and make things worse, and, well, I need help.” You finish your ramble with a loud breath and you collapse your head onto the table, groaning.

“Uh–” Fuck, oh fuck him, fuck his life. “I mean… I think just a heartfelt confession would do? Something simple and sweet that says you really like him, in case somehow your words don’t work.” Akaashi feels like he’s sweating, a lot, and he feels even more frustrated than ever. His heart is crashing against his ribcage, and his mind is a fucking mess.

You frown a little bit, and suddenly a gush of words fly out of your mouth like a stream bursting from a dam. “Oh my god, what if I’m reading the signs all wrong and he doesn’t at all like me back? I mean, I wouldn’t blame him because I’m kinda ugly and have this weird personality thing going on and I’m shit at math and Bio-”

“Stop.” Akaashi forces himself to intervene, mainly because 1) you’re literally the light of his life and 2) he feels like he has to leave really soon after dealing with the news. “Shut up, [Name]. You aren’t ugly at all, and I, for one, enjoy your weird personality. And I already told you, you’re fine with academics.” He makes himself make eye contact with you, peering up from your arm covering your face, and says, “If he rejects you, he isn’t worth your time at all and you should move on.”

(Preferably with me.)

He watches you exhale, like he just unwound a tight spring from inside of you, and your shoulders relax and you melt from your anxious state, just a little bit. “You’re right. If.. if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll just forget about him.”

“Because you’re a genius.” Akaashi tries to hype you up, but he still feels like crumbling. Falsely checking his phone, he stretches and stands up. “I have to go now, sorry. My mom asked me to pick up my little sister from tutoring.”

“Huh, already?” Confusion flits across your face, and it hurts him even more to just leave you after you confided in him, but he knows he has to leave before he says something he might regret. “Oh, okaayy.. see you tomorrow then. Thanks for helping me out.” You yawn before standing up to hug him goodbye.

“No problem.” He says it casually, but Akaashi feels his mood drop faster and lower than ever. He hugs you back, but he breaks away fast.

After leaving your house and collapsing onto his bed in his locked bedroom (with his 11-year-old sister knocking on the door and curiously asking what’s wrong), he can’t help but feel hurt that you couldn’t even tell him who your mystery crush’s name was.

A week passes by, and neither of you mention the conversation at your house. It doesn’t matter either way, since you two are still so casually best friends. At the same time, he desperately wants to push the matter just to find out who it is.

Otherwise, Akaashi has noticeably been more quiet and moody to the point that he doesn’t know how to control it. Sure, he keeps up the same as he would before your conversation, but he can’t help but feel his heart sink everytime he sees you. His mind is ecstatic every time he talks to you, while simultaneously wanting to tear itself apart.

He’s tried getting rid of feelings for you, in literally every way possible. From avoiding thinking about you (which backfired horribly because he ended up thinking more about you) to focusing on other girls (ew, none of them were even capable of creating the same effect on him as you do), he’s tried it all and it’s all failed.

Akaashi realizes his silent slump has gotten so bad to the point that Bokuto made him sit out a few practice matches in the gym just because Akaashi was nowhere near the spot that any of the team expected him to be at.

After school, he meets with you near the vending machine as always. You buy two cans of coffee, one for you and one for him.

As soon as he takes the can gratefully, you clear your throat.

“Yeah, [Name]?”

Glancing around before staring him in the eye, you start, “Keiji-kun, before you run away, I just…. I just wanted to let you know I really really really like you. Like, a lot.” You start speaking kind of fast, so Akaashi can’t process what you’re saying.

“And I mean it. Ever since the Bio project, you’ve been so nice to me and you’ve been such a great friend even though I made it hard sometimes, and along the way I just caught feelings. You honestly mean everything to me, and I appreciate you so much for everything we’ve been through. I- I think, I love you, Keiji. And I hope you accept my feelings.” You smile, almost nervously but nonetheless sincere, and Akaashi thinks he’s about to explode.

“I- I,” Fuck, oh my fucking god, he thinks to himself. He’s shaking a little bit– that’s how happy he is. “[Name], I..” God fucking damn it, he can’t even express how happy he is. He feels his cheeks blossom and he feels his lips quirk into this goofy smile.

But then he watches you shy away a little bit as you hurriedly say, “I- I mean, sorry. It’s okay if you just wanna be friends-”

“No.” Finally, Akaashi can use his mouth and then he gently takes your cheeks in his hands and closes the gap between you two, lips connecting in a display of pining and affection.

He practically melts into the kiss, he’s never been so happy. He thinks he’s actually about to implode; he’s been dreaming about kissing you like this, against your soft, plush lips. And finally he’s able to call you his, to call you the one. When the two of you finally break away for air, he’s breathing hard and his mind is a mess, which is rare considering his usual stoic state.

Akaashi has also never seen you so flustered and blushy. He murmurs into your ear as he takes your hand, “Feelings are 100% reciprocated.”

“I can tell,” you laugh breathily, and he’s so happy to hear that some of your anxiety has dissolved in that sweet kiss. He’s absolutely infatuated with you in every aspect. He leans in for a soft, quicker kiss on the lips and savors the feeling of warmth he gets. “Dork.”, he whispers.

“Only for you.”

#akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #holy shit this is long #this wasnt supposed to happen

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hawkinslibrary · 4 years ago

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i love hearing what you have to say about season 4!! i promise it’s not too long lol, anyway i have a question for you: what do you think the next season holds for mike & el? i’m a little worried tbh

ahhh thank you !! same rules apply: spoilers ahead, so please read no further and blacklist/filter out the ‘s4′, ‘st4′, ‘spoilers’ tags if you don’t want to see anything !!

i’m going to talk about them both as individuals and as a pair but first, i have to say that i don’t personally feel like you have to worry about them breaking up or anything again this season. i think s4 is really going to establish romantic jopper and once that happens, i don’t see them, mileven, or jancy not being endgame unless someone actually dies. which -- i’m not going to think about the possibility of anyone dying until i’m forced to confront it, so. this is fiction and it’s already unrealistic and i’m gonna take my ‘everyone survives, happiness all around, time to relax’ endings and go. anyway, i would love to add lumax to this list but i honestly think it could go either way depending on what happens in s4. that’s a different essay, though.

i tend to think that the most important dynamic on the show is the one between the whole group and i just don’t really see them spending much more time trying to develop romantic relationships outside of the ones set up since s1/2. maybe steve, robin, and will get love interests, maybe they decide to develop dustin and suzie more, maybe suzie is never even mentioned again, idk. but these will probably all be secondary -- as in less screen time, not less important than the main romances, but probably still less developed. unless it happens to be a new person added to the main cast. which, as of now, the only new mains are brett and priah who has gone from recurring to regular. so.

i think s3 showed how messy and complicated romantic relationships (or, really just relationships in general) can be. everyone was arguing, there was miscommunication all around, everyone thought they knew what was best, no one was seeing eye to eye. but when it comes down to it, they would do anything for each other. they understand each other better than anyone else ever could. i can’t see them spending another season on breakups and romance drama after the ending of s3.

mike and el have already been separated once before. this time, mike knows for sure that she’s alive and that’s she’s with the byers. this time, el won’t be kept completely isolated away from everyone else. they’ve made plans to meet for the holidays. they can still call and talk to each other as much as they want. i’m hoping they handle being separated this time better than they did in s2. i don’t want mike to be moping and i don’t want el to spend a lot of the season thinking about how much she misses him. in fact, i think in their case that some distance could be good for them. the same for jancy and jopper, too, honestly. it’ll be nice to see them existing outside of these relationships while still acknowledging how important they are.

as far as i know, the byers and el stuff has not started filming yet so all there is to speculate on are rumors, the audition tapes, and logical guesses about where the story goes after s3. el obviously moves away with the byers. we still don’t know where. she’ll still be mourning hopper and trying to figure out life without her powers. and, of course, she’ll be in a long distance relationship with mike. i think she’ll be having a hard time and she’ll wish that mike was around, but she’ll realize she’s got a pretty good support system around her now with the byers, too. i’m very, very excited for more joyce and el content particularly, but there’s gotta be some great scenes with her and will and jonathan as well.

there’s only one audition tape that i can confidently tie into the byers + el plot(s?) and it’s the queen bee/mean girl character ‘angela’. if we’re running with the whole ‘there may be some truth to the audition vids’ thing, then this one teases that el will be going to school and that angela will be bullying her. this is something she would probably want to talk about with mike (b i g troy s1 vibes) but i don’t know if she actually would ? so this is probably more a thing that el and will could bond over or that she could talk about with joyce or maybe jonathan. i do think there will be at least a few calls between the two of them before the action really hits and the whole group is (hopefully...) reunited.

so, el -- at least in the beginning of s4 -- will be going to school where ‘angela’ bullies her, forming a bond with joyce + will + jonathan and becoming part of the family, mourning hopper (+ hopefully having conversations about him + his past with joyce), missing her friends back in hawkins, continuing to learn how to navigate life without her powers, and trying to maintain a long distance relationship with mike.

mike... i’ve been seeing some wild theories about him today but they aren’t really that far-fetched i think. first, going back to the audition tapes, the ‘eddie’ audition i saw makes it seem like mike is going to be part of the hellfire club with dustin. i’ve recently learned that there’s another version of the scene where ‘eddie’ is only talking to dustin and mike might not be a part of the club after all. if he isn’t part of the club, then the basketball v. hellfire, jocks v. nerds thing turns into lucas v. dustin and mike’s probably there just caught in the middle while max is off distancing herself from everyone.

at this point, i really want mike and max to become good friends. i think the end of s3 gave them the perfect opportunity. s4 max has s2 mike vibes. it’s not the same situation at all, but he knows kinda what she’s feeling and they could connect through that + the fact that they’ll both be missing el. i also just really want... some wheeler siblings content. i’m hopeful that s4 gives us good nancy and mike scenes bc there’s no reason not to give us good nancy and mike scenes (+holly!). however...

while there’s proof that gaten and sadie and natalia and priah have all been filming since production restarted, and while i have reason to believe that caleb has been filming a lot inside/at the studio recently... there’s no evidence that finn has been on set. there’s none for maya and joe, either, but people have said that finn isn’t even in atlanta right now. maybe he is and maybe he just hasn’t been seen and maybe he’ll pop back up tomorrow. or, maybe he already filmed whatever he needed to film for hawkins before production stopped.

the wild theory that’s popped up today is that everything gets to be too much for him in hawkins and he just... hops on a train to go visit el + the byers. i don’t know if i buy it, but it is interesting to note that he was sitting with them at the table read. and since we can guess that steve and robin will still be working at the video store, robin and nancy will be investigating pennhurst together, lucas and max may have some angst, joyce and murray are probably teaming up for the finding/saving hopper plot, and el is going to bond with will and jonathan, it seems like the order might mean a little something. i’d even bet that dustin and erica have scenes with them bonding over d&d.

now this theory pretty much only exists because no one’s seen finn on set and one of the paps posted some pics of some trains. there’s also always theories about how there will be issues at home with the wheeler fam and if that’s going to happen, what better time than in s4 when all of his friends are pulling away and el’s gone again. so if he is missing el (and will) that much, and if he has any reason to worry about her and how she’s doing, or if the party becoming distant and issues at home are weighing on him and he feels like he needs to get away, he’s absolutely the type to venture off on a train by himself. i don’t know how it would work since he’s definitely supposed to still be in school and his friends/nancy at least would notice he’s gone, but.. it’s fun to think about and we’ve got zero actual content to go off of right now.

another way i could see mike’s plot going is that he’s the one trying to keep the party together this season. playing mediator with lucas and dustin, becoming better friends with max, being the connection between the hawkins plot and the byers plot (along with nancy).

there was also talk of him joining the track team bc the track has been set up with hawkins high colors for filming. but mike ‘this isn’t a stupid sports game’ wheeler? i don’t think so... basically, no one knows at the moment what’s happening with mike wheeler in s4 lol.

s4 mike is just like s4 byers fam -- a complete mystery to me currently. i don’t personally think that he’ll be leaving school and hopping on a train to visit el. i think he’ll be a part of the hellfire club with dustin, or that he won’t and instead will be attempting to keep the party from completely disbanding. i hope that we get wheeler siblings scenes and that max and mike have a breakthrough and become better friends. i also feel like he’ll be having some complicated feelings about hopper, the last interaction they had, etc. and, again, the whole long distance thing with el.

so... mike and el broke up in s3. it was messy. but then they reconciled. and then hopper “died”. s3 ended with them at this weird place where she’s heard him say that he loves her and she’s told him that she loves him back. things are a little awkward in the scene bc everything has changed at this point, but a kiss, an ‘i love you’, planning to meet up on the holidays, and promising to call frequently all sounds like they’re back together and going to try making the long distance thing work to me.

i think they’ll be together when s4 starts. i think that we’ll probably only see them talking on the phone or their radios for the first few eps. maybe we’ll see flashbacks or something to them being together on the holidays. the distance might be hard and they’re definitely going to be missing each other. like... el doesn’t have mike or hopper with her now and i’m thinking the party is going to be drifting apart, plus they’re both probably going to have other personal issues that have nothing to do with each other or the party. maybe they’ll be experiencing some emotional distancing of their own while dealing with the aftermath of hopper’s “death”, the move, and whatever’s going on with them at home and at school. i think that once they reunite (probably not until the last half of the season), they’re likely to be stronger than ever.

now, onto personal theories that have zero basis. for some reason, i can’t get it out of my head that this season might dive into psychological horror a little bit ? like a greatest fears type of thing ?? and i keep thinking about brenner popping back up and using the people el loves to get to her or something and 👀👀

#this took forever to write and it's so long and for WHAT #when i tell you i've been typing and deleting and typing and deleting and typing again all day #anyway.... a l l of this is speculation pretty much bc the byers/el haven't even started filming yet #and there's no info on mike as of now #these don't even really touch on what could happen at the end of the season #bc i just have... no idea what's really happening or how it could possibly end #there was that whole thing about s5 being the part 2 of s4 so like...#what if we don't even get the reunions this season lol #nah i have to believe that everyone will be back together by the end #answered #s4 #st4 #spoilers #thank you for the question 💖 !!#sorry it's basically nonsense on my part though #me @ me: how can you ramble so much but say so little #Anonymous #idk if this even makes any sense but it's 2 am now and i've been staring at it forever so

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multishipperlove · 5 years ago

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iiiffff you're still interested in more prompts “Will you carry me to bed?” with Caduceus and any of the mighty nein (I can't decide but maybe Jester or Fjord after a fight?), Platonically

(I went with Jester, hope you enjoy it! Also, at first I had the great image of Jester actually carrying Caduceus, bc lets be honest she’d probably be strong enough to do so, but I still liked it better this way around ;) )

Theyall arrived back at the Xhorhaus absolutely exhausted. Killing anentire wyvern nest that had started to take root in one of the towersof the Lucid Bastion? Not as easy as you'd think. And honestly, whywould you think it was easy in the first place.

Needlessto say, it had taken them some time to even get close to theencounter, and especially Yasha and Beau had struggled with theirpreference for melee fighting. But with some smart use of polymorphand more spellcasting than what would have been strictly necessary,they had eventually managed to drive the pesky beasts out. Killingmost of them, really.

Ithad been worth it at least, they were one favor and a decent amountof platinum richer than they had been this morning. So as soon asthey walked inside the house, everyone just collapsed into a pile inthe living room, tired but satisfied.

Caduceus,somehow as serene as always and seeming not quite as harrowed as hisfriends, managed to throw some food and drink together and had themall in higher spirits again in but half an hour. And through theirchatter and laughter, it was barely noticed that Jester was a lotmore quiet than usual.

Itwasn't surprising, she had pulled every trick in the book during thefight, keeping her friends up left and right with Caduceus' help, anddiving after people more than once when someone had once more managedto stumble off the damn roof.

Shedefintiely wasn't unhappy, Caduceus made sure to keep a bit of an eyeon her. Just tired, and she spend most of the evening leaning againstBeau. So the firbolg assured himself that she was fine, and wouldhopefully be back to her bubbly self after getting some sleep.

Mostof the others seemed to have the same in mind for themselves as well.One after the other they eventually bid each other good night,disappearing upstairs and into their own rooms. It didn't take longuntil Beau, Jester, and Caduceus were the last ones left.

“Alright,I think I'm gonna head to bed as well,” Beau finally stated, beforegently nudging Jester with the shoulder she was still restingagainst. “You coming too, Jesse? You look like you could use anearly night.”

ToCad's surprise, she didn't agree immediately. He'd kind of suspectedthat the only reason she was still down here had been Beau, and thatshe'd just been waiting for her friend to turn in so she could takeher leave as well. They did share a room, after all.

ButJester shook her head slightly, sitting up properly again and givingBeau a tired smile. “No, I think I will stay a bit longer. I'll bequiet when I come in though, promise.”

“Nah,don't worry, you probably won't wake me up anyway,” Beau assuredher, and then stayed quiet for an awkward moment before getting up.It almost seemed like she'd wanted to say something else, but forsome reason didn't. “Well, alright,” she mumbled, giving themboth a wave. “I'll be upstairs then. Sleep well.”

“Youtoo,” Caduceus replied with a nod, and then watched as shedisappeared as well. He was about to stack their plates and head offto the kitchen (washing up could wait until tomorrow, but he didn'twant to leave the room in complete chaos) when Jester got hisattention.

“Hey,Caduceus?”

Heturned to face her again, curious what had made her so soft spokenall of a sudden. “Hm?”

“Doyou want to sit under the tree for a bit?” she asked, soundingalmost hopeful. “Just, you know, look at the stars a bit.”

“Huh.Are there even stars?” he asked. “I don't know what time it is,we probably should have checked in with Caleb about that at somepoint.” In their defence, they had been in Xhorhas for a while.Day- and nighttime tended to get wonky.

But,right, not what she'd been asking. He quickly continued, realizing hehadn't actually given her an answer. “But sure, I would love to situnder the tree with you. Stars or not, it is a rather nice space.”

Thesmile he got in return was nice to see as well, and together theymade their way up the stairs and to the small balcony that hostedtheir huge trade mark sign. At least in this neighbourhood. Theenchanted lightybulbs were still illuminating the tree beautifully,and Caduceus felt himself immediately relax as the scent of dampearth and moss wafted over.

Jesterseemed to react similarly to the tree, though the first thing she didwas walk up close to it and let Sprinkle scurry up the branches. Theweasel easily found a place to curl up, and quickly seemed to fallasleep itself.

AsCaduceus settled down between the roots, leaning back against thethick trunk of the tree behind him, Jester joined him. She leanedagainst him this time, and they both stared out at the never changingnight sky, easily finding the stars Jester had spoken of eariler. Itwas good to know that they had apparently not lost their feeling oftime completely yet.

Itwas quiet. Nice. Caduceus knew that a calm moment with Jester wasrare, but that made him appreciate it even more, seeing as she seemedmore vulnerable in these moments than she usually let on. He wouldnever do anything to betray that kind of trust.

“Caduceus?”she finally asked, her voice still quiet.

“Yes?”

“Todaykinda sucked.”

“Hm.It did, didn't it,” he mumbled, still looking out at the stars. Itdidn't seem like the kind of conversation where you wanted to look atthe other person. “We were successful, though. Is that not worthsomething?”

“Well,sure, but some moments up there really scared me,” she admitted. “Idon't want to loose anyone, not even for a million favors from theBirght Queen. I think you are all worth more than that.”

“That'snice,” he replied softly. “And I am sure everyone would agreethat you are worth more than a million favors from the Bright Queen as well.”

“Evenmore than all the platinum?”

“Allthe platinum in the world couldn't replace your friendship, my dear.”

Hefelt her sigh softly, and press a bit closer to him, and there mighthave even been a quiet sniffle. But he didn't comment on it, insteadletting her think about it for a while. Sometimes, processing newinformation took time, and some privacy. Even if all the privacy shegot was both of them keeping their eyes on the incredibly vastness ofthe universe in front of them.

Finally,she spoke up again, and the small hint of tears was gone from hervoice. Once more, she was just tired, and this time it seemed moreakin to the content he'd felt from the others earlier.

“Hey,Caduceus?”

“Hm?

“Willyou carry me to bed?”

Hechuckled softly, finally turning his head to look at her. She wassmiling again, and wasn't that a beautiful sight.

“Ithink I can do that,” he agreed, right before scooping her up aseasily as he would a sack of potatos, and getting a delighted gigglein return. He was supporting her back and legs with his arms, holdingher close to his chest, and she managed to tuck her head under hischin in a way that kept the horns out of the way.

Bythe time he placed her down on her bed, carful not to wake up Beau inthe process, she was fast asleep.

#critical role #cr2 #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #cr fanfiction #fanfic #writing #mine #prompts #also file under: sprinkle is fine and loves jester #you guys are just mean #ohwormhere

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inconvenient-sneezes · 5 years ago

Text

“road to recovery for two, please”

or the one in which steve has to warn bucky every time he sneezes bc of bucky’s ptsd

[[this is a continuation so read part one here and part two here!!!]]

Time After Time

Chapter Three: Road to Recovery for Two, Please (After)

***

It’s been months since Steve’s gotten Bucky back.

There are aspects of him that are the same and there are some that are very different. For one, Bucky gets his hair cut by suggestion of one of his therapists as a “new beginning.”

It’s not the exact cut that Steve remembers, but similar enough. There are also certain small things that set him off, like being touched. They’re working on it, but he only likes to be touched on good days and Steve has seen enough of the bad days to know when it is and isn’t okay.

Steve is the one who cuts all of the tags out of Bucky’s clothes because he can’t stand them rubbing up against his skin all day. He also stays with him during nightmares or panic attacks. Loud sounds shock him and he often results to violence upon being startled, like the time Tony showed up at Cap’s apartment unannounced and was forced to duck out of the way as the knife left Bucky’s hand. Actually, Tony and Bucky haven’t gotten on very well together, which will be a problem for today.

Steve crawls out of bed and into his car to pick up Bucky from therapy at the usual time. He manages not to crash the car, despite his sneezing fits and watery eyes. How a superhuman can get a cold, he still doesn’t quite understand. Bucky opens the door and climbs into the passenger side.

“How was your appointment?” Steve asks, driving away from the building.

Bucky shrugs. “It was good.”

“Good. Hey, uh, Buck?” Steve says, scrunching up his nose, “I’m gonna —heh’NXT!”

Steve tries to warn his friend every time before his sneezes, just so it’s nothing unexpected. Stifling them also seems to quiet the explosion.

Thankfully, Bucky doesn’t even flinch. “It’s okay, you don’t have to warn me anymore. I’ve been practicing.”

“Oh, re-really?” His voice shakes. “Hahh... hap’SHHT!”

“Bless you.”

Steve sighs. Now is as good of a time as ever. “Hey, you’re gonna be staying with, um, Tony today, okay?” he tells Bucky casually, hoping he’ll let it slide. He doesn’t.

His voice is practically dripping with suspicion. “Why?”

“No reason.”

“I don’t even like that guy,” Bucky mutters. “Are you sick or something?”

“No.” It doesn’t sound convincing.

“Then why—”

“Because you need a break from me. We’ve been staying together for three months. It’ll be good for you to get some f-frehhh... fresh air.” His nostrils flare and Bucky watches him closely.

“Are you sure you’re not sick? You look like you’re going to sneeze,” he points out, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not,” Steve says before sneezing again. “Ehh’CHSHH!”

***

It takes Bucky about five minutes to pack. “I’m used to packing light” is Bucky’s explanation and then he cringes, as if this brings back memories he’d rather not revisit.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning,” Steve tells his friend as they walk together to the entrance of Stark Towers. “And behave, okay? I don’t want to hear any horror stories from Tony.”

He feels like the mother of a five-year-old sometimes.

Tony meets them there at the doors and Cap smiles. “Tony, thanks for doing this.”

Bucky sulks, looking less thrilled.

“Come on in, Bucky.” Tony steps back so he can enter the threshold. Bucky does and makes a bee-line for the bathroom, without saying goodbye to Steve.

Tony winks at Steve. “I got your back, man.”

“Hh’KSHH!” He cups his hand over his mouth before continuing. “Thanks again. Sorry for this, I really just don’t want him getting sick, you know? His immune system a little weak at the moment—”

“I thought he was superhuman too?”

So am I, but I’ve got bloodshot eyes and a runny nose, Steve wants to inform him. Instead, he explains himself, at least halfway. “Well, he is, but due to all the recent trauma... Anyway, just make sure he doesn’t watch anything violent. Cooking shows, Full House, I don’t care. Just none of that — hah’ISHH! — none of that CSI crap, okay?”

“Sure, sure.”

“And make sure to call me if you need anything or if they’re any problems.”

“Okay, Cap. You just go home and chill. Knock yourself out with some NyQuil.”

Steve grins. “Will do. Alright.”

He walks away, praying that everything will go smoothly.

***

“So,” Tony claps his hands together. “What do you wanna do?”

Bucky stares at him. “Have a drink.”

“You know Steve wouldn’t approve,” Tony says, walking into the kitchen.

“JARVIS, fix our guest a Coke, please.” He turns to Bucky. “You do like Coca-Cola, right?”

“Yeah.”

So the pair sit on the couch, Bucky sipping a Coke out of the classic glass bottle and Tony indulging in some alcoholic concoction JARVIS cooked up.They sit in silence until Tony finally turns on the television to offer some white noise. Non-violent shows, he reminds himself.

“Today, another school shooting—” Click.

“Make sure you dice those onions, and I mean dice—” Click.

“I’mmmm gonna wreck it—” Click.

“The body was found with deep—” Click.

He keeps changing the channel until he lands on something called 7th Heaven.

“You’re pretty particular about your television programs,” Bucky notes, sipping his Coke.

After about five minutes of enduring the excruciating, sickly sweet, unrealistic show that is 7th Heaven, Tony switches off the television. “That show sucks.”

Bucky nods. “Nobody’s life is that sugary sweet.”

It may just be the first time they’ve ever agreed on something.

“You ever play Gin Rummy?”

***

Steve arrives home to his apartment to find a package outside. The words, “for Steve” are hastily scribbled on a Post-It note. He brings it inside and locks the door behind him.

“Dear Steve,” the note inside the package reads, “I heard you weren’t feeling well from Tony so I went and picked up some stuff for you, to pay you back for last winter. Would’ve given it to you in person but I’m a bit of a germaphobe. Feel better soon, Sam.”

Steve chuckles, recalling the time Sam was down with the flu and examines the contents of the box. A Tupperware container of soup, still warm, tissues, Vick’s, ginger ale, the DVD set of Bones and hand sanitizer. Removing everything reveals a second note, that simply says, “Okay, okay, Natasha picked up most of this stuff and made the soup but I provided the Vick’s.”

“Hhtch’SHHUHH!” Steve sneezes and decides to go ahead and start season one. He’s already surrounded by a mountain of tissues and watched six episodes before the NyQuil knocks him out cold.

***

“You can sleep here,” Tony offers, gesturing to a lavish bed in a large bedroom. “My room’s just down the hall if you, uh, need me.”

Bucky nods his thanks. He’s had a great time tonight surprisingly, but his thoughts still go back to Steve. “Thanks, Tony.”

Tony shuts his door. Bucky immediately wriggles out of his shirt and climbs into the huge bed, pulling back the blankets and heavy comforter. It takes him forever to go to sleep and when he does, he has a nightmare.

He’s drowning. Bucky’s in the middle of the ocean, the salt-water washing up again his face and stinging his eyes. He knows full well how to swim, but the water’s so dark and he can’t see anything. Kicking his feet doesn’t help keep him afloat and his one good arm isn’t much help either. Suddenly, his metal arm feels like it’s made of solid lead and abruptly starts to drag him down into the water’s depths. Down, down, down he goes and his mouth and lungs fill with water. His chest is on fire and he can’t breathe. All he can think of is Steve, Steve...

“Steve!” Bucky wakes up screaming Steve’s name. He’s buried deep underneath all the blankets, which explains the drowning notion, but it takes him a second to gather where he is. The nightmare’s over but Bucky is sweating and shivering and all he wants right now is Steve. Besides, this little sleepover has gone on far too long.

Bucky sneaks out of his room and takes an elevator down to the first floor. He leaves out the front doors, so as not to set off any alarms, and walks two and a half miles to Steve’s apartment.

Of course, the front door is locked but Bucky doesn’t want to knock on the door or ring the bell; it’s three in the morning, after all. He goes back downstairs and around the building and climbs up onto the fire escape. Bucky crawls through the window like he’s done it a hundred times.

Steve’s completely unconscious, still lying on the couch and some random Bones episode is playing on the telly. He’s snoring really loudly and Bucky can’t recall a time when Steve had snored. He sits on the couch and puts his hands in his lap. Bucky wants to wake Steve up so bad because he actually wants someone to touch him now. He closes his eyes because maybe things will be better if he can just go to sleep.

However, the dream comes back full force. Bucky’s eyes fly open and once again, he’s screaming Steve’s name like there’s no tomorrow and he’s breathing in short, rapid gasps because he can’t exactly breathe or so that’s what it feels like. Bucky squeezes his eyes closed and repeats his mantra. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t—

“Bucky!” Steve nearly shouts. “Bucky!”

His eyes open again. “H-hi, Steve.” He’s sweating a lot.

Steve puts his hand on Bucky’s back and feels him shaking. He rubs Bucky’s back and whispers soothing things into his ear like he’s done so many times now. He doesn’t even question why he’s back home and he’s not at all mad.

“Shhh, id’s okay. You’re hobe, you’re with be.”

Bucky recognizes his friend’s voice and leans into him. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Doe, don’t apologize. I’b here.”

Steve starts to turn away from him, panicked. “Sorry Bucky, I’b godda — hah’CHESHHH!” His hands pull his T-shirt around his nose and he sneezes into it, sniffing thickly afterward. Bucky cringes.

Still shivering a bit, he turns to face Steve. “You are sick.”

“Dot really, id’s jusd a little—”

“Don’t even tell me you’re not. People get sick, time after time,” Bucky snaps. “Why’d you ship me off to Tony’s if you needed me?”

“I don’t wand you to get sigg. Thad’s the l-lasd thing you d-deed... godda — hahh... hahH! Uh’TSHHH! — right dow.”

“You should’ve told me,” Bucky mumbles, scooting closer to him. “Do you remember when you had pneumonia that one Christmas and I had to take you to the hospital at like two in the morning?” Bucky and Steve play this game often, the Do-You-Remember-When, so Bucky can separate his memories from fiction. This one happens to be true.

“Yeah. I had a really high fever.” Steve recalls slipping in and out of fever-induced hallucinations.

“I’m going to take care of you, just like I did then,” Bucky tells him, getting up to fetch the afghan from the armchair.

“HUSH’uhh!” Steve sneezes again, nostrils twitching. “Ehhh... hahhH! Hh’HDEZCHHOO!”

“Bless you,” Bucky says with a raised eyebrow. “The last time you had a cold like this was in, what, 1943?”

It sounds more like a question than a statement.

Steve nods. “Yeah. Ad you wouldn’t stob singig thad song—”

“‘In the Blue of Evening.’” Bucky amazes himself by remembering. “You liked it though.”

“Yeah, I did.” Bucky sees his irritated nostrils flare and plucks a tissue from the box. “Here.”

Steve buries his face into it. “Hur’ESHHH!”

“Bless.”

“Thags,” Steve says before blowing his nose. “For everything, I mean.”

“Don’t tell Tony I enjoyed playing Gin Rummy with him.”

Steve chuckles. “I promise.”

***

request some stuff/give me feedback!! read more stuff!!

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve x bucky #bucky x steve #sickfic #sneezing #hurt/comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #ptsd #ptsd recovery #capsnz #captain america #fic

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paceunknown · 5 years ago

Note

give me that revision 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

well okay ! and in case you’ve decided to read this yet don’t know what this ask is about i came up w an idea to sort of rectify what i felt was an issue left mostly unresolved in season three of stranger things—the core four’s friendship—and it bothered me so i thought about how i would redo some bits of the season. k? k!

so let me begin w making it painfully obvious i love the show; this isn’t me tearing it a new one for the sake of doing so. i’m critiquing and offering commentary because i want it to be better. and i’m in no way saying my idea is perfect or polished, i’m just someone w a lot of time and a decent propensity for written thought.

my main issue w the resolution of the friendship tribulations between mike, lucas, dustin, and will is that there never really is one. we get that brief moment just before the starcourt battle where they reunite and share a hug but that’s about all, and it doesn’t address will’s concerns w his friends moving on without him—hell, he and mike never talk about their argument again—which was the main source of contention behind the arc. and to some degree, i understand: will said it himself, there were more important matters to attend to, and stopping all the literally life-threatening action to sing kumbaya would not only be dumb in-universe but would be out of place narratively. but it also wasn’t like it was a macguffin or just a one-off, throwaway line we weren’t really supposed to care about past that specific moment (see nancy and johnathan’s argument about classism v misogyny, though i would’ve loved to see that expanded upon further), will feeling left behind by his friends ran deep, so deep that he destroyed castle byers over it. so i said to myself, if i could rearrange the season, maybe add and take away a few things here and there, what would i do? how would i resolve that story line?

so the main thing i latched onto was castle byers. lucas and mike discovered will in the middle of the night, frenzied and having literally taken a bat to the fort he built with his brother. and it’s never talked about again. lucas tries, yes, but will tells him not to worry about it, and that’s it. i dunno about you, but i’d certainly try to find a time to bring that back up, especially if my friend is moving away. so here’s where my rewrite begins !

first, the night of mike and will’s argument, mike doesn’t make that “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” comment (as much as it pains me to cut it) because he doesn’t know why will’s upset, and he doesn’t know why will’s upset because will isn’t saying “can we play d&d now?” every three seconds. i feel like a major issue this season had in its writing was being too transparent about everything—i mean, the audience literally knew russian agents were trying to open another gate the entire time, we were just watching the characters figure it out for themselves. so in this version, i rectify a little of that by having will show us he’s tired of his friends being girl-crazy through his actions, his body language, maybe a snide remark here and there. will is annoyed but he doesn’t wanna rain on everyone’s parade, so he keeps his comments to himself, and neither mike nor lucas pick up on it bc they’re so focused on el and max. so when will finally does blow up, mike genuinely doesn’t know why. this also gives some more breathing room to the arc, allows for more conversations to be had between the boys about their feelings, and also allows for will’s upset to continue to grow.

which brings me to point two: will doesn’t break castle byers that night. instead, they have their fight, will goes home, and when mike and lucas come to his house, he just sits in his room, resolutely not opening the door. only when he gets the goosebumps on his neck does he run after them to tell them what’s going on. this, again, allows for more breathing room, because we know will’s upset, but because there’s now the supernatural threat to focus on, all those pent-up emotions are just gonna continue to fester because neither of his friends actually get it, and he hasn’t had a genuine moment of catharsis yet. so idk how else to restructure the season bc things happen pretty quickly from then on, but within the next episode or two will breaks castle byers. hell, it can be that episode so long as it’s clear in the show that it’s not within the same 24 hours. i just think it’s important to show that the argument did nothing for will, he’s still #going #thru #it, so when we see him take a bat to castle byers it affects both us and him that much more deeply. and most most importantly, no one knows he did it.

we finally come to the finale, where everyone’s helping the byers fam pack (i’m also making the executive decision that it takes at LEAST three days and not just one like johnathan said, it’s unrealistic to pack a whole house in a day). it’s day two of three, and at some point will sneaks away to castle byers because he’s got enough emotional intelligence to know he regrets what he did and he does want a few of the things left in there. he picks through the wreckage and i imagine a really heartbreaking scene; where before he just had an outburst and broke everything, now he actually goes through things with affection, and you can tell it’s really hitting him that he’s moving. then we hear crunching, and the camera focuses on mike’s shocked and concerned face. (and this is where it’s gonna get real fan fic, but it’s the only way i can think to relay my ~vision~) (also none of this would have to be verbatim)

mike: um... [will doesn’t turn around] i know you told us to do what we wanted but there were a few things we didn’t-

will: just ask johnathan.

mike: we did. he said to find you

will, annoyed: i’ll be back in a minute, just, go help el or something

mike: ….did the storm do that?

will: what do you think, mike?

mike, walking closer: why would you do that? when did you do that?

will: just leave it-

mike: you built that. it’s been here forever. it was supposed to be here... after you were gone.

will: well maybe i don’t want any evidence that i was here.

mike, hurt: what?

will: just face it, mike. you’re different, lucas and dustin are different-

mike: that’s not true!

will, getting choked up: -and when i move tomorrow, you guys are probably gonna be going on, like, group dates with el via radio, or-or come up with some grand scheme to visit dustin’s girlfriend in utah! and it won’t matter that i’m not there!

mike: how could you say that? of course it’s going to matter. you’re part of the party, always and forever.

will: well the party didn’t seem to matter much to you this summer. not any of you. not unless it was life-threatening.

mike: will-

will: can you just leave me alone? i need to go through all of this to see what i can save

so mike hovers for a bit, not knowing what to say, before it’s clear will is done with the conversation and he trudges back to the house. we get a brief montage of will crying as he goes through the rubble, more to show the passage of time than anything else, some really sad synth music is probably playing. then we hear crunching in the leaves, and will assumes its mike and tells him to go, but we get a shot of mike kneeling down beside will, and we see in one hand he has a hammer and a box of nails, and a toolbox in the other, and after he holds the hammer and nails out to will, we get a shot of his face and we can tell he’s been crying, too. and will says, “i leave tomorrow”, to which mike simply replies, “it still matters”, and will takes the tools and the two boys get to work. not long after that do dustin and lucas come to the ruins, too, their own faces tear-stained, and without words they fall into rhythm with will and mike. all four boys’ final shared act together is literally and figuratively repairing their friendship.

eventually it starts getting dark and joyce comes out to get them, a teary smile on her own face, and the boys put on their finishing touches before painfully tearing themselves away, arms across each other’s shoulders and waists. will breaks away briefly, proclaiming that he forgot something, and we see him get the “all friends welcome” sign to (barely) stand up, and everyone smiles again before continuing their trek to the house.

now just think about having to watch that, you’re probably already crying, and then getting to the bit where el’s reading hopper’s note. WHEW. but honestly, this not only rectifies an arc that was basically left hanging, but it also provides great character moments, adds context and closure to castle byers, and gives us a fun scene of our main party members being kids one last time.

#had to bust out my laptop AGAIN #also i finally figured out read mores how bout that #bc this got super long and i could 100% keep talking #ask #anon #st #stranger things

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esseastri · 6 years ago

Text

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part last)

I said I’d finish this book before it had been out for a full year, and that’s the 14th, iirc, so I have tonight and tomorrow, but I will finish this book tonight if it kills me, I s2g, I’m ready to be done.

Part 13 encompasses pages 1054-1233 (previous parts)

WE ARE SO CLOSE, GUYS

OH, I wanted to talk a lil bit about the end of part 4, now that I’ve had a sleep and some time to think about it. I still don’t really like it, but I think I can better articulate why.

I feel like a LOT of it is personal preference for Really Not Liking It when my Heroes Turn Out to Have Been Bad Guys All Along. that’s. not fun for me. I don’t find it appealing in any way.

and I know that Brandon is a big fan of his lil ~Sanderlanches~ of emotion, but tbf I think the Recreance bombshell got a little lost in Taravangian’s deluge of bad news. The major impact of that reveal SHOULD have been--yeah, the humans are and have been the aggressors all along. But instead it gets a little undermined and rolled up wholesale into Dalinar Has Been a Bad Before and We Guess He Is Now Too. It feels like it should have been a separate moment for everyone--for ALL the monarchs in the coalition--to realize that...THEY are ALL the bad guys. All of humanity is the bad guys. But it gets overshadowed by their belief that Dalinar has betrayed them and gets dumped squarely on his shoulders so that it’s less about Humanity and more about One Human--who has been our hero for 3,000 pages and now just utterly crashed which is ALREADY upsetting enough without everyone else ignoring THEIR part in it all.

So what I’m saying is that I still feel like the end of part 4 was really badly handled as there should have been two, separate focal moments that got overlapped badly (worldbuilding vs character moments). But I’ve talked to Lisa and Alyx about stuff and I’m a lot chiller with the actual CONTENT of the reveal, and actually looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

tl; dr: feeling better about the content, still very unhappy with the execution.

ANYWAY:

INTERLUDES

“Her people couldn’t be completely gone....could they?” Ah, Venli has reached the Denial stage of grief. that’s. good?

or rather, I suppose...she’s been there all along.

mmmm, I wonder if the different rhythms were created because the Parshendi don’t really do facial expressions, right? like they are crustaceaous, regardless of which form they’re in, so it’s not like shells do a good job at. smiling. Idk, I just wonder if the different hums are bc they don’t really interpret body language the same way humans do.

“The strongest and most skilled of our number are yet to awaken” YOU MEAN THERE’S MORE AND WORSE OF YOU? Great.

You know what I want? An Edgedancer size “novella” about Rysn.

wait, I thought larkins were bad?

aren’t larkins bad?

nvmd, I asked Lisa, they eat stormlight, so Bad For Spren, but not inherently bad. I like having Lisa here to remind me of things I Knew At One Point But Have Since Forgotten Due To Reading So Many Other Things heheh

I love these two Thaylen nERDS

Vstim is a GOOD DAD AAHH

you know, that’s something that’s always sorta bothered me--how do Rosharans go around wearing jewelry that’s giving off enough light to see by? How is that not...overbright and distracting and uncomfortable?

WHOA WHAT

I WAS NOT EXPECTING MURDER

omg the larkin is eating the gemstone that’s been glowing for 200 years, CHIRI-CHIRI NOOO

o_o

right

it makes sense that the voidbringers would have lightweavers, the fused are basically windrunners, but tbh I didn’t think about. you know. evil people that could disguise themselves as ANYTHING #YIKES

yeEAAHH MY GIRL

COME ON BRANDON, GIMME A RYSN ADVENTURE NOVEL. RYSN AND THE LOST TREASURE OF SOMEWHERE-WITH-TOO-MANY-CONSONANTS! PLS.

anyway, on to the main event for the evening: Megan Sobs Her Way Through the Teft Interlude i’m SURE

“the men of Bridge Four would tire of digging him out of trouble” NEVER.

HE HAS A SPREN

SHE’S BEEN THERE A WHILE, APPARENTLY!!??

HELP

uh oh

hold on

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG AT THE BRIDGE FOUR BARRACKS

WHY IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG

ABSOLUTELY NOT

WHY ARE THERE BRIDGEMEN WHO ARE BLEEDING

I REFUSE

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF HE KILLS ROCK I AM NOT FINISHING THIS BOOK

I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING

HE KILLED ETH???? AFTER HE KILLED MART IN THE LAST ONE HE HAD TO GO AND KILL OFF THE OTHER BROTHER? FUCK OFF, BRANDON

I’ DON’T WANT THIS

PART FIVE, LET’S GET THIS DOOOONNNE

........there are thirteen, maybe (probably) more POVs in this part?

fuck, Brandon, if I wanted to hop around that much, I’d suck it up and read Martin. Uggghhhhh, I hate this.

HAHA whoops, I didn’t realize it was a flashback chapter and I was like “why is present!Dalinar in a stormWAGON?” and then I realized

“wild chickens range this far east” and I KNOW they mean crows or blackbirds or starlings, but. chickens. is still. such a good worldbuilding note.

“felt both an anxiety to be finished and--at the same time--a reluctance to progress.” B I G M O O D

Brandon: *describes the Nightwatcher* Me, whispering: “yiiiikes”

“What is your boon?” “Forgiveness.” CAN YOU IIIIMAAAAGIIIIINNE

OH SNAP

is that...actually Cultivation?

“I didn’t get what I wanted.” “You got what you deserved.” OOF. OOF. How does fifteen points of damage taste?!

“I control all things that can be grown, nurtured. That includes the thorns.” HM

OKAY

I like her.

HA I WAS RIGHT

EVI WAS THE COST NOT THE BOON. HA

tbqh, I’m still not entirely clear on the boon. I guess...she took away the guilt? or the memories that made the guilt? hm.

HE HAD NEVER DESERVED HER.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA DAMN FUCKING RIGHT, DALINAR. GOD. YUP. AMEN

merrgghhhh pov shits within chapters grumble grumble grumble

oh dear

big battle time.

yaassss

ok, but the army of spren at the Oathgate might be friend spren. have you checked?

I’m still hung up on Kholinar, ngl, someone, for the love of god, tell me if Skar and Drehey are all right. alive. s o m e o n e pls care about these bridgemen as I do.

(and don’t say Kaladin cares, I KNOW HE DOES BUT HE HASN’T MENTIONED THEM IN 200 PAGES/FOUR WEEKS OF TRAVEL TIME, MMKAY?)

heh, Jasnah being all “Amaram’s bad guys can soak up the arrows while the rest of us escape” and usually, I’m very against the lil foot soldiers getting slaughtered for the misdeeds of their commanders, but if people are still following Amaram, they have Bad Priorities and I’m with Jasnah on this one.

I’m confused

Renarin’s spren is weird?

Jasnah thinks he’s a traitor?

I’m??? CONFUSED AND UPSET???

LET! THE BOY! LIVE!

WHICH ONE OF THEM IS CORRUPTED, IS IT JASNAH? MAYBE IT’S JASNAH?

Me: “Maybe it’s Jasnah???? She spent a lot of time in Shadesmar!” Lisa: “Maybe it’s Maybeline.”

She’s rude and I love her.

OH WHAT HOLD UP

VENLI IS IN THE KNIGHTS RADIANT CHAPTER?

or is it just...anyone listed at the beginning can be in any chapter?

SHE IS NOT LISTED SEPARATELY. HO SHIT

WHAT

YEAH THAT’S THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME: The fused just. sending in regular parshendi parshmen signers whATEVER TO FIGHT. THEY DON’T HAVE TRAINING. THEY’RE GOING TO GET MASSACRED. THAT’S NOT! GOOD! MILITARY! STRATEGY!

ugh, I’m still just. mad about the Recreance reveal.

The humans are the bad guys, fine. But the FUSED ARE DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY NOT THE GOOD GUYS??? so what was the point?

SEE SHIT LIKE THIS: “You are here to do as you’re told. In return, you are rewarded with further opportunities to serve.” what the fuuuuuuucckk

like, they’re still BAD GUYS

Here’s the thing--the Recreance reveal doesn’t really change anything. The human heroes are still going to choose the options that are “good” or “right”--Dalinar was already suing for peace, Kaladin was already making friends with the listeners--so saying “these humans in the past were evil” doesn’t change their choices. It doesn’t change the Fused’s choices either--saying “these guys were good in the past” doesn’t make them good guys now--OBVIOUSLY, just look at that dialogue.

So why bother?

The whole series is about choosing to be better, to do better, but the characters were ALREADY DOING THAT, they didn’t need an extra, super depressing motivator to do that. It’s just there to....reinforce the idea? That’s already pretty solid?

idk, I’m still REALLY struggling with this

sigh

back to Venli

so, Odium can CHOOSE what he looks like when he appears--obviously he doesn’t REALLY look like a parshendi, bc he’s not actually their god. If the humans were the voidbringers originally, then he’s theirs, no?

also, # y i k e s, there he is

TEFT IS IN THE RADIANT POV HELL YAH

“You don’t want me. I’m broken.” YES, DARLING, THAT’S THE POINT.

I love him so much I just want to hug this sad uncle of mine

AAAHHH FUCK THE KHOLINAR GATE

WAIT, MAYBE SKAR AND DREHY WILL SHOW UP FUKIN FINALLY

“This is winnable” IS IT THO

BECAUSE LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE IN THIS BOOK HAS BEEN AND AIN’T THAT JUST FUCKING DEPRESSING

oh fun! the thing from the cover! finally!

Here’s the thing: three years ago, I would have loved this book. Three years ago, overwhelming odds and impossible battles and the downward, angst slide of all my favorite characters would have been SO MUCH FUN to read. But now? This year? I’m fucking over it. I’m done. Give me optimism or give me death.

I’m exhausted enough in the real world, I don’t need to be exhausted by the books I’m reading.

“You mind holds firm” UH HUH SURE. P SURE NONE OF THE FUSED ARE SANE, bUT THAt’S FINe

“Could he defeat six? Did he need to?” THE IMPLICATION THAT: IF HE NEEDS TO, OF COURSE HE CAN. I’M LOVE KALADIN SO! MUCH!

DO WE FINALLY GET TO STAB AMARAM!!!!!!!????? FINALLY!!!

DOES KALADIN GET TO KILL HIM? BECAUSE I WILL BE REALLY, REALLY MAD IF KALADIN DOESN’T GET TO KILL HIM

OMG I’M SO HERE FOR THIS

MY BOY

KALADIN RECOGNIZING HIS PROGRESS AND KNOWING THAT HE’S GOT SYL AND BRIDGE FOUR, AND PURPOSE AND THAT HE’S GONNA STAY ALIVE FOR THEM, FOR IT. THAT EVEN THO LIFE SUCKS HE’S GONNA STICK AROUND BC THERE’S GOOD PARTS TOO. KALADIN REALIZING HE’S STRONG AND STRONGER WITH HIS PEOPLE. I’M SO

MY HEART IS SO FULL AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

OOOHHH NOO THAT”S HOT

where’s my Kaladin alone in combat stance facing down 6 fused and GLOWING ART BC I NEEEEEEDD IITTT

my soul

I love him

my soul

You know what? Kaladin never gets the Thrill. I bet it’s because he’s too good for this world.

ahhh fuck they got the thing

at least Rysn and Vstim are still alive! for now.

why do they want the thing tho

whose heart is it

WORRIED ABOUT RENARIN 2K18

heheheh Pattern, “I do not like being stabbed” no, you are usually doing the stabbing, huh? heheh

ADOLIN KISS SHALLAN! ! AHH!! YAY!!!

SOFT BEFORE BATTLE THIS GOOD

god, yup. “Um, hello.” SPEAKING TO THE OATHGATE SPREN WOULD BE SO SCARY

the Argonath spren. Oathgonath? Argonoath? Argonoath. heh

I’ll take Bad Lord of the Rings Puns for 300, Alex

COME ON, VENLI. SPEAK ME SOME WORDS, GIRL.

Oh hey it’s Gawx! Wacky fun.

aahhh shit, it WOULD look like the Alethi were betraying everyone else for real. SIGH.

come on, Lift, get them to help. come on, come on, come on

can we unforbid it? esp since Honor is fucking dead and doesn’t care what’s forbidden or not?

“A man can rule his lands until the citylord demands his taxes. The citylord controls his lands until the highlord, in turn, comes to him for payment. But the highlord must answer to the highprince, when war is called in his lands. And the king? He...must answer to God.” BUT DARKNESS--WHAT IS GOD TO A NON-BELIEVER?

“Don’t be stupid. Let’s go fight those guys.” AMEN, NIGHTBLOOD.

“But it had always been nothing more than a rock.” YEEEESSSS OMG. SZETH!!! FINALLY UNDERSTANDING.

KALADIN NO

goddamnit

UH??? WHY IS NAVANI POV IN THE RADIANTS CHAPTER???? BRANDON??? WHAT DO I NOT KNOW?

Dalinar continues to be an extra son of a bitch, and I love him.

ok, I’m betting it’s just anyone’s POV can be in any chapter, ‘cause the symbol hasn’t changed. so nevermind. I retract my questions about Venli and Navani.

HI LIFT

I LOVE YOU

“Did you forget to feed them?” I’VE MISSED HER WHY ISN’T SHE IN ALL THE CHAPTERS

“Wyndle doesn’t like hurting people” I !!!! LOVE! THEM!

PLS BE CAREFUL ADOLIN AAAHH

NO???

NOOOOOOOOO??

DON’T?? STAB THE SUNSHINE BOY????

I’M?

his sord

swor

d aah

she protec hiom

uuuuuhhhhjfghmgdh

hmfzngrsmkdc

oh snap hold on

Hello Darkness is gonna swap sides? Not that he was really ever on our side, but like. “will make the transition to obeying the Dawnsigners easier” OBEYING? I’m.

that’s Not Great.

“Leave me”? ????? EXCUSE?? NO!!!?? ABSOLUTELY NOT, SUNSHINE BOY, WTF

he has more words

WORDS

GASP

AAHH

LISTEN, DALINAR, ADOLIN IS THE DUELLING BOY. IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A CHAMPION FOR A ONE-ON-ONE DUEL. YOU NEED ADOLIN. AND HE’S BUSY BEING STABBED AND ALSO NOT HERE AND I’M

YELLING

UNEXPECTED SZETH FALLING FROM THE SKY TO SAVE LIFT??? I’M HERE FOR IT

oohh szeth. honey bunches of oats. one day--one day--you will realize that you don’t actually need a master. and you will become something more.

even if you’ve picked dalinar as your new master, which is good, bc following good men is better than bad ones, buT STILL

also, how come we didn’t get to hear his Words??? I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE WORDS. BAD POV SWITCH MADE ME MISS OUT ON SKYBREAKER IDEALS. BOO.

UGH, STAB HIM, NAVANI

ah. ShalASH, got it

there’s Too Much going on, tbqh.

*quietest of wimpers*: taln

help

aahhh darnit, ok. it IS Renarin that’s corrupted. someone PLS let this boy have, like, A MOMENT of peace

oh for fuck’s sake

Let Dalinar fucking have a moment

COME ON

HE’S THE G O O D G U Y, PLS

I’m suffering

RESIST, DALINAR

AAHH

genuinely don’t think you should just be waving Nightblood around

sheathe that motherfucker

pls

also, if Szeth said his words, shouldn’t he have bonded a spren? Doesn’t have have a sprensword? so maybe he....could stop? using Nightblood?

somebody help Taln, I AM TOO FAR AWAY TO HUG HIM PLS HUG HIM

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T USE NIGHTBLOOD

JUST SAYIN’

BLESS NAVANI. SHE HAS INVENTED THE TAZER

or possibly weaponized the Cruciatas Curse, but EITHER WAY: NICE.

“Dalinar pulled the Way of Kings close to his chest, clutching it like a child with his blanket at night” MOOD ALSO SAME I FEEL THIS ABOUT MY COPY, TOO

STOP KILLING BRIDGE FOUR

I WILL YELL AT YOU, BRANDON

I WILL SEE YOU ON THURSDAY AND I WILL YELL AT YOU

“Dalinar Kholin is no more” UH HUH, SURE

That would be boring. We’ve already seen the Blackthorn. It’s boring unless we get something new.

fuck off amaram

gross? not recommended.

don’t swallow foreign objects

something GOOD HAS TO HAPPEN SOON OR I’M GONNA FUCKING SCREAM

I’M TIRED GIVE ME HOPE

IT’S BEEN, LIKE, 300 PAGES SINCE ANYTHING GOOD HAS HAPPENED

BRIDGE FOUR KEEPS DYING, ADOLIN GOT STABBED, DALINAR IS BEING TORTURED, FOR FUCK’S SAKE C O M E O N

(purposely forgeting Lift showing up and Navani tazing people in her assessment of how many pages it’s been since good things have happened)

NO FUCKING SHIT, KIDDO!!! THE FUTURE IS MALLEABLE!!! IT CHANGES!! OF COURSE IT CAN BE WRONG

duh

even I had that wrong--the NEXT step, not the first

GOOD

STAND UP

AAAAHHH

“If I didn’t do those things, it means that I can’t have grown to become someone else.” AND YOU DID! YOU DID GROW! LOOK AT YOU! FINALLY YOU ARE REALIZING IT ONLY TOOK 3FUCKINGTHOUSAND PAGES AAAHHH

YAAAS

YOU’RE MY FAMILY

AAAHH

GOOD SOFT JASNAH!!! NOT A THING I EXPECTED BUT HERE WE ARE

“Maybe it’s time for someone to save you.” *MEEP*

hel p

that’s intense

AAAHHHH

EVI IS A GOOD AND I LOVE HER AND SHE DESERVED BETTER ALSO SOFT AND GOOD AAHH

# yikes

but like, a good yikes

yeah, you fucking better apologize to him

Taln deserves an apology form every single person on this planet, and that includes all the Heralds, and the Heralds owe him, like, a hundredbajillion apologies extra

I have emotions

and opinions

HE’S SO GOOD

AND SOFT

MY GODSON

OH MY GOD

OHHHH MYY GOOODDDDDD

HE’S SO GOOD

oh no I love him so much

TEEEEFFT

FINALLY

YES

GOOD WORDS I’M CRYING OH NO

HE’S

SO MUCH

all my soft boys

best boys

dominoes with crystal transformation? MORE GOOD YIKES

YEESSSSS

KALADIN!!!!!

FUCKFACE!!!

HERE WE GO

LOOK KALADIN, YOU DID SAVE HIM!!! YOU PUT THE SYLSPEAR IN JUST THE RIGHT PLACE TO BLOCK THE SWORD AND YOU DID SAVE DALINAR, LOOK AT YOU

NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STAB THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF AMARAM

STAND UP AND DO BETTER

LOOK IT’S WHAT i’VE BEEN SAYING THE WHOLE TIME

yes good, heal Adolin, thank you

GOD FUCKING BLESS

LITERAL ORDERS TO STAB THE FUCKFACE

THANK YOU

ofuck he did swallow it

Not Great

every time Adolin talks to his sword, my heart leaps. he actually apologizes and also thanks her and I just! want her to know! how much he loves and appreciates her!

WAKE UP, SWORD! MAKE HIM RADIANT!

COME ON

FUCKING

YOU ABSOLUTE HOOKWORM I CANNOT BELIEVE

TWO SHARDBLADES. OF FUCKING COURSE HE NEVER GOT RID OF KALADIN’S. FUCKING

PIECE OF

ROTTEN SHIT I’m. hate him.

much

ooohh Shallan!!!!!! I’m proud of her!! She’d created them to be strong when she wasn’t but she doesn’t need them now aahh!!

OH HEY, FEN’S SON DOES HAVE A NAME and it’s a garbage Thaylen name. Kdralk? all right then

“Life could not be lived making decisions at each juncture.” Szeth.... Szeth that’s. that’s...exactly what life is??? That’s. how you do, actually, live life? I’m ???? ??

‘at the top, they found a jumble of Sadeas troops chipping at a door with hand axes. “I can probably get through that a little easier.”’ HEHEHEH

Lov me a sunshine boy

GOD FINALLY

LET! NAVANI! GRIEVE! THANK YOU

ADOLIN IS SUCH A GOOD COMMANDER, GOD

EXCELLENT TACTICS

I’M SO PLEASED

It’s very satisfying to get Kaladin fighting Amaram and Dalinar fighting the thrill Unmade at the same time

fINALLY something SATISFYINg in this book

listen, I love having the visual of Jasnah’s effortless airsteps from the cover, but I’m still REALLY Disappointed that the covers don’t match up with the flashback character.

It’s Dalinar’s book, it should be Dalinar on the cover, but WHATEVER, WHELAN, ugh.

THANKS FOR ALL THE BROKEN BONES, I HATE IT

It’s never fair when the bad guy brings so many friends to the party.

SHE FINALLY HAS A NAME YES

MAYA IS A GOOD SWORD AND I LOVE HER

eeyyyy GOOD JOB, VENLI!!!

PETITION FOR SUNSHINE BOY TO STOP GETTING HURT

ngl, his is the battle I’m actually most invested in rn, other than Kaladin, I just.

want him to be okay

“half expecting Skar and Drehy to be there to pull him to his feet. Storms, he missed those bridgemen.” ME FUCKING TOO, ADOLIN. WHERE ARE THEY ARE THEY OKAY

AAHH!! Renarin gets to protect Adolin THAT’S SO NICE GOOD

I ADORE that Lift and Dalinar are besties. It’s the BEST dynamic, such an interesting combo, and I LOVE IT.

“Amaram was screaming in pain.” GOOD.

WONDERFUL. AMAZING.

BRILLIANT.

FRAME IT.

Overconfident fuckface took his own helmet off, bless hiS HEART

“I hurt, once...after I killed your squad, I hurt.” OH BOO HOO, POOR BABY FELT A TWINGE OF GUILT FOR A HOT SECOND I DON’T FEEL BAD FOR YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKWEASEL

oh, gross

thanks

THE SPEAR THAT DOESN’T BREAK AAAHHHHHH MY SOUL

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WE WERE SO CLOSE

it’s ok, we just need one more good solid hit on that gemheart and we’re DONE WITH THIS LOSER

A DOZEN

RENARIN CAN’T FIGHT A FULL DOZEN BY HIMSELF? OH MY GOD

not good

uugghh fuck Malata, I DON’T TRUST HER

Renarin is very brave. A Good.

OH WAIT, TEFT CAN OPEN THE OATHGATE

YAAASSS

YAAAAAAAASSSS

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASASSSSSSSSSSSSS

I’M SO HAPPY

TEFT OPENED THE OATHGATE

LOOK AT MY BOYS

*SCREAMING CONTINUES*

PHEW ROCK IS ALIVE, I CAN KEEP READING

“YOU LOOKED LIKE PERSON WHO NEEDED HUG” ROCK IS THE BEST I LOVE ROCK I’VE MISSED HIM SO MUCH

Oh right, Dalinar’s still, like. doing stuff. I forgot, ‘cause it’s. Nothing’s happening with it.

Should be focal, but there’s. So much going on.

COME ON, KALADIN, YOU’VE GOT WORDS WEIGHING DOWN YOUR TONGUE.

COME ON, DARLING, PLEASE.

ok that’s acceptable

not ideal

but beautiful

a good, solid Rock.

I will accept this end.

Bridge Four is so, so, so important, I cannot express in words.

oh, quiet screaming:

Moash chapter

oooohhhh buddy

One day, you’ll wake up.

Until then, my very garbage brain will write fic, and it will be glorious.

how do people not ship this

he literally helped her remember herself

he recognized her in her sea of selves and pulled her out, cOME ON

THIS IS THE SOFTEST OF SHIPS AND I’M CRYING

AAHH VENLI!! PROGRESS!!! also what order, I must know

whoo Braize IS Damnation, called that shit, like, a book and a half ago.

“only Ishar survived with his mind intact” A RE Y O U V RE Y SU RE AB T T H A T? ???

oh. those are boring Words, but okay. makes sense, the Skybreakers are kinda. Meh.

ugh, we still have to deal with Hello Darkness My Old Friend? He’s going to come oversee training? ugh.

BEST KISS BEST KISS BEST KISS

OTP: NO MATING

OTP

BEST

KISS

YES

“You mentioned something about kissing me until I can’t breathe, but here I am, not even winded--”

B E S T K I S S BEST BEST BEST KISS

“I don’t think I loved her, Syl. I felt...something. A lightening of my burdens...” THE FEELING WAS FRIENDSHIP BUT NEITHER OF THEM HAD EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE.

“I knew you’d come for me.” brb crying forever

I don’t know if you know this, but I really love Bridge Four.

“We lift the bridge together, Teft. And we carry it.”

[cries quietly into that sentence for the rest of eternity]

TARAVANGIAN IS LITERALLY CONFESSING, BUT WHO WANTS TO BET DALINAR FORGIVES HIM AND STILL TRUSTS HIM

i s2g, Dalinar’s pure goodness is going to be the thing that kills him, in the end.

MOASH WHAT THE FUCK

JEZRIEN

I KNEW Ahu was a Herald, HA, but JEZRIEN HOLY FUCK

actually dead or just bound in the sapphire bc it IS glowing, so. hm.

god

Moash, plllleeeaasseeeeeeeee ugh

ahhh YAY LOPEN!!!

but it. should have been Moash. It was always supposed to be Teft and Moash and Skar and Rock.

And I love Lopen, really, I do. b ut.

I’m also:

~*~GARBAGE~*~

mmmmm ACTUAL FATHER? OR? HMM

I’M WORRIED ABOUT MY ANCIECT GODCHILDREN OKAY? HELP THEM.

OH THANK FUCK

SKAR AND DREHY ARE OKAY

SKAR AND DREHY PROTECT THOSE WHO CANNOT PROTECT THEMSELVES!!!!????

THAT’S!!!! THEY DID THE THING???!!! THEY’VE GOT THE WORDS!!!

LOOK AT MY BOYS GO! LOOK AT THEM ALL!!

TEFT AND LOPEN AND SKAR AND DREHY!!!!

I’M SO PLEASED

oh yeah they saved the kid that’s good

LOOK! AT! MY! BOYS!!!!!

Taravangian might be the ONLY fictional grandpa that I dislike

I always like the grandpas.

but noT THIS ONE

by becoming king of the world and then asking odium to spare everyone he ruled, he was going to save everyone.

Not

actually a bad plan

Not a great one, obviously. but. not a terrible one.

Too bad it was NEVER GOING TO WORK

oh fuck off, he stole the Honorblade, which means Malata probably killed Eth, so GOOD NOW I HAVE A SOLID, CONCRETE REASON TO HATE HER, GOOD.

“Why would [Taravangian] work with the enemy? Everything he’s done so far has been to secure a safe Roshar--if through brutal means. Still, I have to wonder. I can’t afford to be too trusting.” I CAN’T BE TOO TRUSTING, EXCEPT TARAVANGIAN, I’LL DEF TRUST HIM OF COURSE, Dalinar, pLEASE

I’m dying, you gotta. ugh

he’s EVIL COME ON

ppppssssssst

*put Jasnah on the throne*

we need someone who’s good at diplomancy, who can inspire people and command them! GEE WHO’VE WE GOT WHO CAN DO ALL THOSE THINGS AND LOOK SHARP AF DOING IT?

I W ON D E R

oh holy shit, they actually did it

they actually did put Jasnah in charge

holy fuck

YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

EXCELLENT

really moash

the stolen honorblade

HE WHO QUIETS --admittedly a great assassin epithet, but

Mooooooaaaaaaaassshhh

S I G H

okay, so we figured out that Sja-anat is anti-odium, that’s good. but HOW do we know that Renarin bonded one of her spren? just...’cause it’s corrupted and that’s what she does? or did I miss something more specific?

oh huh

cool

OH!, he went to get Elhokar’s baby spren. interesting.

does that make Wit a Radiant? ‘cause I bet that’s not going to go over well heheheheh

WHOOOOOO I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Defo not my favorite, but it did pick up at the end there. Part 3 was A TRIP that I enjoyed and I’m still pumped that Bridge Four got 1. POVs and 2. SPREN that was really nice. I’m ~*~GARBAGE~*~ and there was some good garbage Moash content, so I loved that. The roadtrip was Sure A Thing. I love my sunshine boy, Adolin Kholin with all my heart. Aaaaand I’ll circle back to Part 4 and the beginning of Part 5 when it’s NOT 4am!

#op #megan reads ob #Oathbringer #Stormlight Archive #PHEEEWWWW #LONG #SOME GOOD STUFF SOME BAD STUFF #tldr: not my fave book but had some Good Things #and now I'm going to bed #phew #god this post is so so long #SORRY MOBILE USERS

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nataliademarquis · 6 years ago

Photo

TOMORROW NEVER CAME: a giotalia playlist

tomorrow never came - lana del rey ft. sean ono lennon // let me down - jorja smith ft. stormzy // cold-blooded -khalid // don’t watch me cry - jorja smith // forgive you - leon bridges // walking away (mura masa remix) - haim // sincerity is scary - the 1975 // waiting room - rex orange county // supercut - lorde // fire - anna of the north // @giorxcci

01. tomorrow never came - lana del rey ft. sean ono lennon

'Cause if I had my way You'd would always stay And I'll be your tiny dancer, honey

I waited for you In the spot you said to wait In the city, on a park bench In the middle of the pouring rain 'Cause I adored you I just wanted things to be the same You said to meet me out there tomorrow But tomorrow never came

02. let me down - jorja smith ft. stormzy

So fix your tone, man, you're stronger than that And you're, like, the strongest girl I know Probably the strongest, minus my mum Don't go wasting your loving on me When I see tears run, I'm likely to run So girl, don't love me, I mean it When I say I love you, I mean it And it's mad cuh I choose to be distant But it's fucked cuh I know what a queen is. So why do I?

Yeah, I tried, but I just can't give you up Wonder why is it that I'm not good enough? Some kind of hold over me

I've got you to let me down I've got you, you've got me, I've got you But I've got you to let me down If I let you down, will you self-destruct? Only you, only you can understand why

03. cold-blooded -khalid

You want what I'm giving up But my love is not enough Cold blooded, cold blooded And I can't feel my fingertips But you feel better when we touch

I lost my sight And you're leading me on Is it 'cause you're used to guys Always doing you wrong Do you really love me? Or is it just revenge? Lately, you don't seem so genuine

04. don’t watch me cry - jorja smith

I wonder if you're thinkin' "Is she alright all alone?" I wonder if you tried to call, but couldn't find your phone Have I ever crossed your thoughts because your name's all over mine A moment in time, don't watch me cry A moment in time, don't watch me cry

I'm not crying 'cause you left me on my own I'm not crying 'cause you left me with no warning I'm just crying 'cause I can't escape what could've been

05. forgive you - leon bridges

I put a pillow under your hair Gave you tender loving my care And I didn't make it a thing, ya mama didn't know that I was there I tried to swallow my pride When you left me lonely outside And I didn't know you would never show, you're so comfortable with white lies Looking like a fool what else could I do after all we’ve been through it still hurts But I forgive you though my friends tell me not to I forgive you even when it's so hard to Maybe we can get together someday But I want you to know we're okay, we're okay

06. walking away (mura masa remix) - haim (yes specifically the remixed version bc it’s a bop)

You don't wanna give and you don't wanna know how If you were gonna change things, you would've by now When were you around? Where were you at? Trying not think about it, baby Running up and down the stairs 'Til there's nothing left between us but what we won't say

07. sincerity is scary - the 1975

Why can't we be friends, when we are lovers? 'Cause it always ends with us hating each other Instead of calling me out, you should be pulling me in I've just got one more thing to say And why would you believe You could control how you're perceived When at your best you're intermediately Versed in your own feelings?

08. waiting room - rex orange county

When I heard that you don't know why you're here I fell face down And became one with the ground And my lover's best friend No, he doesn't know what to suggest He does everything for love But when his "everything" just isn't enough He'd like to know that you smile when you're alone, (mh mh) And when you need time to yourself, (mh mh) Remember me, I won't be anyone else I'm just the boy girl you love The boy, you love, uhh

And if it looks like you don't love me then That's alright and I would let you be content

09. supercut - lorde

In my head, I play a supercut of us All the magic we gave off All the love we had and lost And in my head The visions never stop These ribbons wrap me up But when I reach for you There's just a supercut In your car, the radio up In your car, the radio up We keep trying to talk about us I'm someone you maybe might love I’ll be your quiet afternoon crush Be your violent overnight rush Make you crazy over my touch But it's just a supercut of us Supercut of us

10. fire - anna of the north

You were just a fire, burning in the rain Looked at you and I got turnt? Blinded by desire, caught up in the flame Let you in and I got burned

#hshqtask013 #so i may have gotten carried away #but all of these songs are bops #so i put all of them #:)#i forgot what they were called so giotalia it is #giorxcci #( task. )

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troglobite · 2 years ago

Text

job update:

do i have a job for another year? employee relations said yes. HR & other boss in separate part of my dept said no, and had to let go of 2 employees (one a friend) who are on the same contract as me. union liaison says maybe, bc the agreement hasn’t been solidified bc bargaining is still happening.

in terms of job applications:

i have one application in for a short publishing/editorial internship. but it’s with fucking PRH so that’s probably gonna be a mess, whether or not i get it.

the two tutoring positions that pay decently that i was going to apply to don’t actually seem to say they’re remote positions--which is a problem both bc i can’t work in person, and bc i don’t live in the same state as those jobs. so i just had to email BOTH of them to ask if i can apply and work remotely.

there’s an online teaching position available with a school in another state that i’m probably going to have to apply to.

there’s a company that does tutoring and consulting on writing, and it makes it sound all professional and important, but they work with kids in high school and younger which is NOT what i want to do, and i can’t find anywhere to apply to the fucking job except through indeed so i’m fucking Perishing.

then i finally decided FUCK IT and i just emailed the comm coll near me that i WANTED to teach at ANYWAY but i figured i couldn’t bc i assumed it would have to be in person, but i emailed asking if i could teach entirely online. i’ll see what they say when they get back to me.

so that’s THREE emails to all these different people just asking clarifying questions about their jobs that i want to apply to bc i might REALLY need a job. but idk if i immediately need a job! bc no one will make a solid agreement at the university and my boss hasn’t told me ANYTHING! i hate her so much and i’m FUCKING TIRED!!!! I JUST WANT ANSWERS AND CERTAINTY!

and then on top of that i have a drs appt tomorrow and i needed to check in but they use this shitty third party online website company thing to do online check in and it was weird and took FOREVER and i had to upload pics of things and sign my name w my laptop trackpad THREE FUCKING TIMES and i had to narrowly avoid having this company steal and sell my PERSONAL AND MEDICAL INFORMATION FOR MARKETING PURPOSES so thank god i managed to avoid that

BUT IT TOOK SO FUCKING LONG!!! FOREVER!!!! I HATED IT!

AND I’M STILL GOING TO HAVE TO CHECK IN WHEN WE GET THERE TOMORROW MORNING SO LIKE!!!! WHAT WAS THE POINT!!!! STOP THAT!!!!

so i’m tired and feverish and my eyes burn and i was GOING to apply to jobs but instead i had to scrounge for anything acceptable to apply to i’m just like. in hell. i’m tired and sick of this shit. i’m fucking sick of it.

i just want to be stable and settled and relatively content, but instead life is like “i’m going to make you just miserable enough to feel bad all the time, but not enough to make it legitimately worth complaining about to people”

so i just constantly feel annoying and like a massive drag to everyone around me (which is basically no one anyway so y’know, y’all can dodge the bullets here)

oh and i emailed tumblr support today, as well

and i emailed my union liaison, as well

like i’m just fucking sick of all this shit i just want something halfway decent PLEASE.

ETA:

forgot to note i also applied to a different position last week, as well, as an academic writing coach? idk we’ll see. that one at least IS remote.

0 notes

aharris00britney · 7 years ago

Photo

ASKS 04

wow I let this build up didn’t I.... updates on the ViVi inspired hair, Sim download info, some sweet people, some K-Pop, and other stuff below

@agentwashsims said: I️ knew you wouldn’t disappoint on the curly hairs!

Thank youu! lmao it is a pretty basic edit but I’m glad you like it ;-;

Anonymous said: Could you convert the solid colored EA Cruella DeVille style for girls or tots?

Actually it has already been converted HERE (warning: she uses an ad thing :( )

@pierce-the-rachel said: Okay hello I just love your cc so much!!! Like you're amazing I what you do. Much love<3

Thank you so much omgg I am not nearly close to being amazing but I appreciate it <3

Anonymous said: Hi! Is there any chance your sim that modeled the Braxton hair will be up for download? Along with his cc?

Yes! In the next week he 100% will be. Taylor will be posted tomorrow :)

Anonymous said: What skin do you use on your male models? It looks the same as the female one but I can’t find it in CAS.

Check my resource page for my default. I don’t have the overlay labeled on there but in the next few days when I have my male model for download it will be listed there.

Anonymous said: I love your whistle skinny jeans alot, I was wondering if you were ever thinking about making one without the jacket around the waist? Sorry for wasting your time :P

That is sadly out of my ability :( but I am glad u like my whistle skinny jeans!! Not a waste of time to give someone a compliment

Anonymous said: Not exactly an ask but. I love your cc, you create beautiful content, and no matter what others say someone is gonna like it :)

Thank you soooo much omfg I really fucking appreciate stuff like this.

Anonymous said: Your creations are so awesome! I always love coming to your page and seeing all of your amazing creations!!

Thank you!!!!!! omg I feel bad that I never respond to these until I do these things, you guys that send these prob think I ignore them ;-; but for the people who read these and who send them: I really appreciate it like so much ;-; it has been a meh couple of weeks which is why CC has been slow but I love you all so much <3

@raivynmoon said: Omg why do you always get so much hate from anons? I’ll tell you why, because you’re doing things right and toxic people get jealous. Don’t mind the haters, you’re amazing! Happy new year ❤️

I actually don’t get that much hate! I never really pay them any mind bc I know as long as it is something I like that I will release it. People do def prob get jealous they can’t mesh stuff that well, not saying I am the god at it, but I do have some talent in that area from doing it for a while. Happy new year to you too!!! and thank you for the ask <3

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that all of your cc is amazing, you put so much time and effort into it. of course everyone can give you feedback and opinions about what you make, but you are the creator so you can do whatever you want with it. that anon below was just rude, inconsiderate, and isn’t really helping anyone. that person obviously doesn’t make cc hair, because im sure then they would understand and not be a total jerk about it. maybe they should just stick to makeup, instead of hating.

<-- what she said (thank youuu)

Anonymous said: well I think that all of the hair you make is really great, even if not everyone likes it. You spend so much time making these amazing hairs and shout-out to the person below: why would you waste your time hating on somebody else’s hard work when you could be creating makeup cc? You don’t put your effort and time into creating this kind of stuff, of course I know you were also giving feedback.

Thank you <3

Anonymous said: THE HAIR IS CUTE AF

Anonymous said: Wcif the hair in your "In The Time Spent With You" post? Thank you!♡

Deleted :( I never got it to look how I wanted so I never finished it

Anonymous said: I'd just like to say that the hair looks pretty, honestly your hairs are always high quality and never fail to dissapoint, I'd just say that it could be a little puffier on the sides, and over all ignore the haters, they probably couldn't make anything close to what you're making! Luvs.

Thank you!! I tried puffing the sides up some, here is a comparison pic:

(brown is now) (blonde is before)

@twirlyb said: I love the idea of the hair and I think it looks good so far but so you think that there's anyway to add for volume? I love the hair that it's based on and I really want to have it in game. I Completely understand if it's not an option but I though I would ask anyway. Btw I think your hairs are amazing. I went mostly cc free for a while (not anymore could handle not having cc but) and the only things I kept were my defaults and some of your hairs that I absolutely can not live without.

Refer above lmao

@cutesimmer23 said: Hi , anonimus , I have a message for you. If you think Austin's cc is trashy , it's just your opinion. His ccs are one of my top favourites , and I support him in all that he does , even if that's not too good. He tries to do something and , even it's not perfect at the first time , he tries to perfect it. I really love his cc . And I have something more to say. If you are that good at cc give Austin a message (not anonimously) and then we will see who's the best. We love you, Austin!

Thank you <3 You're lovely for sending me this

Anonymous said: heyy love your blog and all of your creations. wcif ALL of your sims? do you ever upload them to the gallery?

Macie is already posted, link on my resource page. Taylor will be posted tomorrow, and my male model will be posted next week. The rest idk

Anonymous said: um can that damn anon piss off. your content is absolutely amazing and some things aren't for everyone but someone out there will love and appreciate it. also the hair in your profile picture looks gorgeous. is it released yet? and the wip you posted is cute af. ignore those haters <3

Thank you <3 Hair in my profile pic is my HyunA hair :)

Anonymous said: Hi, so sorry if anyone has already asked this, but I was wondering hat your origin ID was, since your sims are super cute!? Ps. I'm totally in love with your blog!!!

My origin is Spotharris but it does not have much on it right now, Ps. thank you

Anonymous said: Do you have any K-Pop albums? Which ones?

Oh my! I have a few! I have Red Velvet’s Perfect Velvet, and 6 LOONA albums (Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry, Yves, Mix & Match, and Max & Match)

Anonymous said: I miss you having Macie as your icon :(

Me too jush she needs to make a comeback

Anonymous said: Hey I was wondering if you could do a tutorial on how to make a middle parted hair side parted ?? please

I might do a livestream sometime in the future that is me remaking a hair like Joy or something where I did that. I am really bad at video stuff though so like... someone help?

Anonymous said: Can I just say how much I absolutely love all of your hairs? Like your so talented in making cc. Please keep up the great work!

Thank you!

Anonymous said: Can you convert the cupid eyes you posted for dogs/cats? It's fine if you can't, jw!

rip I can but I really don’t want to ;-;

Anonymous said: I just want to say I love you so much! All your creations are so beautiful and I use them ALL the time. Happy Holidays! ~ V

Happy late holidays!

Anonymous said: Do you have all of your own CC in your game?

Nooooo lmao

Anonymous said: does ur hyuna hair work with the ombres?

She does not :(

Anonymous said: make more diverse sims

gotcha

Anonymous said: yo i remember when you first started out and you were just starting. now you've improved a HELL of a lot. like WOAH (i love your cc)

we don’t speak of those times in my life ok

Anonymous said: I don't know if you are open to cc requests, so if you are, would you ever consider separating them utility jacket from cats and dogs? I've seen so many people recolor it but I can't find it as an accessory, and I've looked everywhere.

A friend of mine tried it but it was really glitchy :( Maybe in the future I could give it a go?

Anonymous said: LIPS, HIPS LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) L-LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) Hi-hi-hi-hi-hip (POP!)

yes i agree with everything

Anonymous said: I have the same b-day as you

only legends were born on that day. and December 2nd.

Anonymous said: Your birthday is the day before mine and the day after my sister's

So close to being legends.... sad

Anonymous said: I thought, you're female😅😅🔫

rip ur mind after i blew it up by being a male

Anonymous said: damn didnt know u were homophobic lol

Anonymous said: fmk: danny devito, shrek, and jim carrey's the grinch

fuck danny bc idk who it is and i know a hot danny. marry the grinch bc he i like mayor of whoville after the movie. kill shrek and take the donkey.

Anonymous said: ahHHHhhHh idk why but i love you so much(not in a weird way u pervery xddd)

thanks babessss

Anonymous said: You should start a gameplay

I dont have the computer or the time for that I am sorry to say

#asks #well let's hope that cuts the inbox down some thdbv #i let them build for too long #it is my own fault

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bi-mirandalawson · 6 years ago

Text

heres 3k of cullen/romelos that im never gonna finish

in my head, they have a sort of fling inbetween corypheus’ defeat and the beginning of trespasser

its just a bit of the beginning and then the breakup bc thats. really all i wanted to write in the first place. im mostly just putting this here for continuity’s sake.

skyhold was lonely. romelos could pass time with just about anyone, but people she really connected with were few and far between. and her companions are leaving. varric heads to kirkwall soon enough, and he writes often, but its a sore replacement for his company. dorian heads to tevinter, and romelos misses his company even more than varric's. she sends him letters weekly with gossip from skyhold. some of it she makes up. cassandra leaves for the sunburst throne. blackwall just leaves, and she doesn't know why for months.

iron bull wouldn't leave unless he were kicked out, and the chargers stay with him. romelos probably spends the most of her free time with him. he is warm, and he makes her laugh, and the chargers accept her as one of their own. cole is another favorite of hers. he always has an ear to listen, and never stops offering to help. she likes taking him on missions to fix things, or to help people, although he finds ways to help no matter where he was. his happiness made her happy. she supposes he knows that.

vivienne is good company for a while. they talk at great lengths about magic, and what vivienne will do now that cassandra is divine, and what romelos will do now that the breach is closed. vivienne teaches her the power to command a room, instead of just the battlefield. she leaves for orlais, however, and though her letters are frequent at first, they grow more sparse over time. romelos knows she is busy, and sends her letters all the same. vivienne responds to groups of them at once, never skipping over anything romelos says.

sera stays for a while, but part of romelos thinks its because sera doesn't have anywhere to go back to. its not a problem though, even if romelos finds herself on the receiving end of more than one prank. josephine is a delight to have around, even if romelos can't spend a lot of time with her. they wander the gardens occasionally, and the little songs josephine hums under her breath always put a smile on romelos' face.

cullen gets more than a fair share of her time. they have game nights at least one night a week, whenever she's in skyhold, sometimes involving other people, sometimes not. they play chess, and wicked grace, and one time they try to come up with their own card game but it falls apart as soon as they try to teach someone else. sometimes there's alcohol involved, and sometimes, they get to talking so much their game falls aside, and its just conversation. easy conversation, that flows like they've been friends for ages. romelos feels more herself around him, and maybe its because she saw him at a weak point, at a point where he became unpleasant and hard to deal with. she thinks that gives her a certain permission to be weak or unpleasant around him, and still be accepted.

it is a night like this, when their cards have been set aside in favor of a bottle of rum passed back and forth, that he surprises her.

"i still dont get how he could have done that," he says, his words a little slurred, his face a little flush.

"done what?"

"left you. at that lake." ah. he was talking about solas. romelos wasn't letting herself complain about him much these days, but cullen seemed happy enough to do the complaining for her. "i mean. wasn't he supposed to be smart? pretty dumb move, if you ask me."

"how do you figure?" she leans her head on her hand and watches him with half-lidded eyes. his face is flushed deeper and he takes another generous swig from the bottle before speaking again.

"anyone with half a brain would never pass up a chance with you." he slams the bottle on the table and leans forward, locking eyes with her. "he had you, as much as you could be had, and he threw it away! what a fool!" she grabs the bottle from his hand, and notices him jump when her fingers brush his.

"what about you then, cullen?" she takes a swig. "are you a fool?"

"no!" he says immediately, a knee-jerk reaction. a second later, he says, "am i?"

"you certainly were." he is flushed all the way to his ears now. "you had a chance, you know." she pauses, and he glances at her. he looks away quickly. "i could have fallen for you, commander." she sees him swallow.

"really?"

"oh yes. do you really doubt yourself so much?"

"well you were such a dreadful flirt, especially at haven. how could i have known you were serious?" he tried to keep his tone light, but she could hear the disappointment and insecurity in his voice.

"you think i couldn't have been serious? how many people did i actually flirt with? solas, you, dorian -and you know that doesn't count. bull once or twice but thats just how he is. harding once, as a joke to lighten the mood." she takes a drink and then leans back in her chair. she sees cullen's eyes flicking between her own eyes and her lips. "i know most of those are jokes, but only because there wasn’t a sincere chance of it happening. and if it made you think i wasn't taking you seriously, i apologize. but give yourself more credit, commander."

he wrings his hands for a moment, and looks like he's chewing on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying every word he's thinking. finally, he lets out a chuckle and runs his hands through his hair. he stares at the ceiling, still chewing on his lip.

"i really was a fool, wasn't i?" he asks quietly, more to himself than to romelos.

"to be fair, cullen, i was too." she corks the bottle and stands up. "i think its about time i took my leave. we do have responsibilities in the morning." he says nothing as she leaves.

romelos takes the long walk back to her room in skyhold, letting the cool night air clear her head. her steps sway a little, so she stays back from the edge.

she hates when he brings up solas. romelos wants to be done talking about him. it no longer hurts to see her own reflection, and she no longer holds the hope that he will return to skyhold. she is content to let it stay in her past, but cullen, it seems, is not. and every time he brings up solas, it reminds romelos of what she and cullen almost had.

some mornings, especially after long nights with cullen, she wakes with the feeling of lips on her own, and her fingers tangled in curly blond hair. she always pushes it down, writes it off as just loneliness. or selfishness, because it would be awfully conceited to think he would still be interested in her after so long.

neither of them speak of that conversation. cullen averts his gaze when romelos walks in to the war room, but is otherwise normal. over the next few days, though, she can't tell if he is avoiding her on purpose or if he's just busy. she doesn't see him for more than a few minutes, but he agrees to meet her in the garden for a game of chess later, so she tries not to think too much about it. the sun is just setting when cullen joins her in the garden. he apologizes for being so late, says that he was waist deep in supply requisitions and leave requests and unfinished reports, and josephine would not let him leave until it was sorted through. romelos laughs.

"you know, if you did your paperwork before it got up to your waist, it wouldn't be such an ordeal." she makes the first move. he is quick to counter.

"you say that as if you've never been swimming in un-filed forms."

they go back and forth for a while. romelos lights a lantern when the sun disappears completely below the horizon. it is full dark when they finish their game (romelos wins, not that it matters, nor does she gloat). the moon is full and illuminates the garden in silver light.

"walk the battlements with me? the sky is pretty tonight," cullen says. "the sky is pretty every night, but.. the moon is full?" his voice gets quieter and his hand shoots up to the back of his neck. romelos smiles.

"sure."

she points out constellations, telling him the dalish stories associated with them. he tells her the names and stories the chantry taught him, how he found comfort in picking them out of the sky whenever he was travelling. they fall in to pleasant silence, looking out at the moonlight reflecting on the snow-capped mountains.

"i wanted to.. apologize." though he is nervous, he manages to look at romelos while speaking. "it was inappropriate to bring up solas. i consider you a friend, romelos, but your romantic involvements are your own personal business, and i crossed a line."

she is.. surprised. she had expected them both to just ignore what had happened. she certainly hadn't expected an apology.

"it's alright," she says. "i dont know if you crossed a line so much as there really never.. was a line? we've always been too familiar with each other." she wants it to sound reassuring, but is afraid it sounds like its even more of a problem.

"oh," cullen says. she watches him process what she said, sees his brows knit together in thought. "you're right. we never had much of a professional distance. i didn't realize how deeply the problem ran until now. i apologize again, lavellan, and i will take my leave. im sure you have a busy day tomorrow and you should get a full night's sleep." he starts to walk past her towards his room and she grabs his arm.

"cullen, wait." he stops with no struggle. "thats not what i meant." her voice is soft. she wants to look down but forces herself to look up at his face. he is watching her closely and her heart beats faster. "i don't want a 'professional distance'." that was what she had with solas, after he left her at the lake. she couldn't bear the thought of cullen only calling her 'inquisitor' or only talking to her about inquisition responsibilities. he takes her hand gently. he is smiling.

"good. neither do i." he leans down, closing his eyes, and romelos stands on her tip toes to reach him. his lips are chapped, and he seems like he's afraid to mess it up, or afraid that she will push him away. she does the opposite - she places a hand on the back of his neck, threading her fingers in to the hair she's dreamed about, and pulls him down, pressing their lips closer.

when they finally step apart, they're both red in the face and grinning. his hair is mussed and his lips are red from kissing, and romelos thinks he's never looked more handsome.

"i uh, really do have to get some sleep," she says. "we're leaving for the emprise tomorrow morning. but i'll see you first thing when i get back."

"i'm sure i'll see you before you leave. sleep well, romelos." he turns to walk away and gives her a small awkward wave. she laughs a little and returns it, and practically floats to her room.

---

"so, you and the commander, huh?" bull asks as soon as their out of the gates of skyhold.

"how did you-" she starts, but then realizes.

"ben-hassrath," they say together.

"he had this look on his face, directed specifically at you." cole is listening intently. "was he good?" romelos flushed redder than her hair and almost fell off her hart.

"what do you mean? we haven't-" she sputters and iron bull lets out a roaring laugh.

"no, i figured you hadn't. the commander doesn't seem like the type to rush in to the sack. you don't either, for that matter. but you've kissed right? is he a good kisser?"

"he's a fine kisser, though i cant see how its any of your business," she says, glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"curling fingers through curling hair, lips soft and secure. you never wanted to stop."

"cole!" romelos shouts. bull laughs. she nudges her hart forward and keeps herself 10 feet ahead of them until they stop to camp.

---

when they get back to skyhold, romelos finds a hot bath in her room, and a roaring fire in the fireplace. there is a bottle of wine, a soft towel, and a folded note on the little table beside the tub. she strips and sinks in to the hot water, exhaling at the sharp contrast against her icy skin. it is the perfect temperature, and the tension seeps out of her stiff legs and back. after her body is warmed through and through, she pours herself a glass of wine and picks up the note.

thought you would need something to warm you up after time in the emprise. if you need something stronger than a hot bath and some wine, ive got a brand new bottle of spiced rivaini rum in my quarters. would love to hear about your trip over a couple of glasses and a game of cards.

cullen

she smiles and her stomach is warm without even touching the wine. how thoughtful. she would have to join him later. for now, she was content to sink lower in to the water, to close her eyes and listen to the crackling fire.

in her state of relaxation, romelos almost falls asleep. she forces her eyes open, and stands up out of the water. she dries herself before she steps out and gets dressed. it is not very late, so cullen should still be awake. she thinks he might even stay up for her, if it is later than she thinks. romelos grabs a heavy cloak and starts walking to his quarters. the moon is just a sliver hanging low in the sky. the wind is cold and harsh, telling of a cruel winter approaching.

she knocks a couple times on the door before walking in. cullen is sitting at his desk, two empty glasses in front of him. he smiles and gestures her to sit down across from him. in the time it takes to hang her coat and sit down, the glasses are full of dark rum. she takes a sip of the nicest rum she's ever had. it must have been expensive. she wonders if cullen bought it just for her. he deals cards between the two of them and asks about her trip.

she tells him between sips of rum, and they pass the hours like they pass cards back and forth. she laughs, and she makes him blush, and she stays until she is struggling to keep her eyes open. there is a small smile on cullen's face when he sees her head bob forward before she jerks it back up, snapping her eyes open.

"i'll walk you back to your room," he says. she wobbles to her feet, having drunk more than she had planned on. after watching her struggle with the clasp on her cloak, cullen steps in and fastens it for her. he smells like the spices on the rum and the spices in his cologne. in the back of her mind, she remembers that he only wears cologne on special occasions. the thought that this was a special night makes her stomach flip. she fights the urge to press herself against his chest and inhale. then she thinks 'fuck it' and does it anyway.

cullen's hands hover over her shoulders. romelos' hands wrap around his waist and she hums happily as she inhales the spicy-sweet cologne.

"uh.. romelos?"

she quickly releases her grip on his waist and steps back. her immediate fear is that she has overstepped a boundary, that she has pushed unwanted affection on him.

"you smell good. you're wearing your fancy cologne." from the alcohol, her words feel thick like molasses on her tongue. he smiles tenderly.

"since you like it so much, i should wear it more often." he offers her his arm and leads her slowly across the battlements towards the rotunda. she leans heavily on him, but he doesn't mind.

"i would like that but," but she's sure its expensive and she doesn't want him to spend money to impress her. "if you wore it all the time, it wouldn't be your fancy cologne. it would just be normal. i like that it's special." they cut through the rotunda, and now that solas isn't here all night studying, the room isn't kept lit at night. the light from the library filters down and she can barely make out the mural on the wall. it makes her stomach clench. she looks down at her hand grasping cullen's arm.

"well, if you say so. maybe we just need more special occasions at skyhold." he walks her to the door in the corner and quiet descends on them. she doesn't want to say good night.

"tell josephine. i'm sure she would be able to find an excuse for another party."

---

"i don't think.. we can do this anymore." romelos speaks quietly and the words fall hollow from her lips. the words feel as empty as she does.

"what do you mean? what's wrong?" the hurt in cullen's voice is immediate, and she had prepared herself for it but it still cut her through.

"i don't think im... capable of being in a relationship." she looks at him and regrets it. if she thought the hurt in his voice was bad, the hurt on his face was worse. she could have physically stabbed him and his face wouldn't hold as much pain as it did right then.

"is this about solas?" another dagger of ice to her stomach.

"a little. it's mostly about me, though. and you. you deserve better, and you deserve someone who can commit to you, and i can't do that."

"okay," he says, his voice wavering. she can hear how hard he's working to keep it flat. "i can't make you love me, no matter how badly i want to."

#writing tag #oc: romelos #my inquisitors

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