#cr fanfiction

[captainsparklefingers]

...okay so I guess that Conspiracy of Ravens sequel is back on the table now. Just not in the way I thought.

Vax trying to get to know his 30 year old sons after having been a bird all their life isn't where I thought things could go but here we are.

[fearnesbells]

and in this way, the universe is shown | imodna | 5k+ | (3/7)

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three!! fearne's shadow bares its teeth. imogen explodes. we're all just walking each other home.

updates MWF!

ao3 link here

playlist here

playlist guide here

The sorcerer half-wakes to an unfamiliar warmth at her side and a hand ghosting over her head. She goes slack into the touch on a starved, half-conscious instinct; the primal nestling of a creature cold or lonely. She is both. The comfort of contact spurs the weight of sleep to pull somewhere at the base of her skull again, tugging and grasping to bring her back under; the rarity of total dreamlessness too tantalizing to resist. She doesn’t even try—she sinks further, further, the only present sensation the touch of something weaving carefully through the strands of her hair. The hero rests here, the early light a clear rosy color under her eyelids. Her walls have been knocked down by the bone-deep kind of sleep she hasn’t experienced in decades, her reserves spent, and the soft human instinct she has worked so hard to drive out of herself keeps her stuck chasing this touch. She is weak. When she leans into it, her weakness, her own morning-rough voice rumbles pleasurably—yes, this. Yes. Warm, near-divine comfort in the form of a touch, a humming song. That’s right, someone is humming. It is a song that she knows because it is a song that Laudna knew.

[multishipperlove]

Chapters: 1/6 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series), A Daggerheart Critmas Story (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Bethany Blake, Cameron Blake Additional Tags: Character Death, Mentions of Cancer, Cameron Blake's A+ parenting, 5+1 Things, Iris and Ralph mentioned, Infidelity, Emotional child neglect, I took a lot of liberty with the characters backstories here, it just felt right Summary:

Bethany Blake is a lot of things. She is homecoming queen, prom queen, a straight A student, the president of the student council, and the most popular girl in school. First and foremost, however, she is her father's daughter. And as a Blake, one of the earliest lessons you can learn is when to hold your tongue and smile for the camera.

Five times Bethany learned to deal with things, and the one time she stands up for herself.

[belleflowerwrites]

Chapter 6: The Darringtons make a strong impression at Netherfield. And as Vax’s health continues to improve, Vex sees new facets of Miss Keyleth Hayward and Lord de Rolo. A teaser 👀

“Well, not everyone can truly be accomplished, as I’m sure you’ll agree, Lord de Rolo. That’s why you have your list.” “A list?” Vex asked skeptically. “Oh, certainly,” Miss Darrington said with an air of feigned indifference. At this, she put her abandoned embroidery aside, and she got up to strut around the room under the guise of stretching. “‘Accomplished’ is a term thrown around for any young woman these days. The viscount has his own list of qualities that make a young woman truly accomplished.” He has a list that determines a young lady’s eligibility? Good lord. Aristocratic men really know no shame. At this, Vex stuck a finger in her place in her book and sat up taller in her seat. “How fascinating. Pray tell, what requirements are these?”

Summary:

After fleeing her restrictive upbringing in Syngorn, Vex’ahlia Taylor had no intention of re-entering the ranks of high society. That is, until a young, single woman, Miss Keyleth Hayward, takes up residence in Netherfield Park. Alongside her is the mysterious, sullen Lord Percival de Rolo. As Vex'ahlia learns more about the tragedies that have befallen the de Rolo family and she gets to know the lord himself, she must determine if her first impressions are all they seem.

[sldlovescartoons]

Dinner time

[primasveraas-writing]

Last Time- EXU Calamity

WORD COUNT: 757

Pre-canon (mostly). Mentions of major character death.

The final time Evandrin put Elias to bed, he was already sick. It was one of those rare evenings when constant coughs weren't bringing Evandrin to his knees, when he could stand without Zerxus needing to support most of his weight. Although it was Zerxus who carried Elias to his room, Evandrin tucked their son in, pushed those soft locks of red hair off his forehead, sang him to sleep in a soft, hoarse voice. Chapped lips pressed a kiss to his temple, shaking hands smoothed out the sheets, and when Elias’s door closed, Evandrin staggered to his own bedroom and practically fell onto the bed and slept and did not wake until late the next day. 

Nobody anticipated that being the last time. It was just a quiet, calm night where Evandrin had some energy, and it never occurred again. From then on, Evandrin was bedridden or asleep or too sick to see his son. Someone else put Elias to bed, and Evandrin faded from the world. 

The final time Zerxus put Elias to bed, Elias was furious with him, eyes red-rimmed and hands clenched tight into fists. Zerxus had stood there, pleading, crying, trying to convince Elias that they could enjoy one more night together before they parted. Elias screamed at him, accused him of abandonment, levied every insult a seven-year-old could muster against him until he collapsed sobbing on their sofa. The armor of the First Knight sat in a pile near the door, waiting for dawn to come and Zerxus to don it.

Zerxus didn’t have the heart to leave, even though Elias yelled at him to go away. Instead, he sank onto the floor a few feet away, not daring to move closer except for an inch at a time. Elias curled into a ball but didn’t voice any objections when Zerxus finally laid a hand on his back. 

It was late. In the time before Evandrin got sick, Elias being up so far past his bedtime would’ve been unthinkable. Now, it was unremarkable. Zerxus could count on one hand the number of times he’d slept since the funeral and Elias hadn’t been on any sort of schedule since before Evandrin died. 

But Zerxus eventually came to his senses. Even he, a terrible father, could put his son to bed. Elias squirmed against him but didn’t put up any real fight as Zerxus lifted him into his arms and lumbered down the hall. His son’s breathing was heavy, his head resting against Zerxus’s chest. With Elias held in his embrace, Zerxus pulled back the covers and lowered him down onto the matress. He pulled the blankets up to Elias’ chin and hesitated.

(Elias had long stopped tolerating Zerxus’ presence while he fell asleep. He wanted to be alone, he didn’t want Zerxus there, he didn’t need to be put to bed much less be sung to sleep. Sometimes, after the door closed between them, Zerxus would sit outside Elias’ room and listen to him cry, and ache and ache and ache.)

Elias stared at him through narrowed eyes, a frown pulling at his lips. Zerxus sat down on the bed. When Elias didn’t object, he stayed. Zerxus croaked out a few strains of Elias’ favorite lullaby, one they had both learned from Evandrin, then fell silent. There was little to say- Elias had asked him not to go, to take him back to Avalir with him, and Zerxus had refused and apologized and explained himself over and over. So instead of speaking, Zerxus watched Elias’ eyes flutter closed, and the rise and fall of his chest slow. The crease between Elias’ eyebrows faded, and Zerxus knew he was asleep. 

He stayed longer than he needed to, even past the point where Elias entered a deep sleep that wouldn’t be interrupted by the motion of his father slipping from the room. Instead, Zerxus lingered and watched. 

Hundreds and hundreds of years later, Zerxus thinks he knew that would be the last time, even then. When he returned, Elias would be older, too old to be tucked in. And even if he weren’t, he already knew something had broken between them. Even before Zerxus left, he was no longer the father who could lovingly put his child to bed. That time had passed, had died with Evandrin or perhaps sometime before when the illness was tearing them all apart. 

Before he departed the room, Zerxus leaned forward and kissed Elias’ brow. He stood slowly, and stood in the doorway for a long time, staring back.

[iwillbringyouruin]

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Characters: Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss, Nott | Veth Brenatto makes a short appearance, Verin Thelyss (mentioned)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, First Meetings, First Dates, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Fluff, Romantic Fluff

Summary:

Essek sets out to go tell a certain Caleb that unfortunately, his brother Verin can't come to the blind date originally set up between the two. When he gets there, something deep within him tells him he should stay.

[overnighttosunflowers]

holding a printed copy of my fic and trying not to pass out about it

(cover art of the rings is by @astoriacolumnstaircase, fic is every thought’s a possibility)

[katia-dreamer]

Percival is different. Like a piece that doesn’t quite fit into his surroundings, jagged edges against a smooth surface.

An arrow weighted wrong.

His white hair, his eyes that can be cold and detached but are full of the kind of fire that burns so bright it almost scalds.  His hair is shaggy and scraggly, and his body appears worn thin by whatever he suffered in his cell.

Percy looks up at her across the campfire, his spectacles flashing white. 

Who was this man who talked like a noble? Who waved about a ridiculous name and had shadows under his eyes that seemed to leech into his very skin? Who was this man who had given her his every cent? She can almost still feel the weight of the coins pressed into her palm, cold and hard.

Percival shifts, pulling his coat tighter around him. “You are studying me very intently.”

Vex bristles at his words. “Can you blame me for being curious?”

“Do you not pick up strangers from jail often?”

“No.”

“What will you do with me now that you have me?” he asks.

She tilts her head, considering, and then says, “You’ll have to wait and see.”

He laughs and almost jumps at the sound, as though he was unused to hearing it. “I suppose I shall.”

He is different, but she could eventually grow fond of it.

And that’s dangerous.

Vex doesn’t make any more conversation that night.

-

also available on A03

[crystal-lillies]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Orym & Will | Orym's Spouse (Critical Role), Bells Hells & Orym (Critical Role), Laudna/Imogen Temult, Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Imogen Temult & Liliana Temult Characters: Orym (Critical Role), Otohan Thull, Bells Hells (Critical Role), Ludinus Da'leth, Keyleth (Critical Role), Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Fearne Calloway, Imogen Temult, Liliana Temult, Fresh Cut Grass (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Campaign 3 (Critical Role), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Spoilers for Campaign 3 (Critical Role), some self indulgence, Bells Hells as Family (Critical Role), critical role c3e51, What Ifs, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Redemption, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, brainrot possessed me to write this, Mild Language Summary:

The strings of fate are always in flux. One roll of the dice can decide the direction of any given path. On the day of the Apogee Solstice, many potential paths were scattered to the cosmos, to be redistributed somewhere later down in the timeline. Here, collected in a small corner of the universe, are a number of potential melodies for the Bells Hells that may have been played upon the lute strings of destiny.

**

I was possessed to start writing this after the emotional rollercoaster that was Campaign 3 Episode 51. Chapter 1 is lovingly subtitled in my brain: “Orym gets to go feral, as a treat.”

There may be more small chapters of “what ifs” based on the pivotal rolls that failed during the chaos or other unexplored moments. 

Please enjoy, everyone! And do please share your thoughts! 

[primrose-path-of-dalliance]

summary:

When the gods made mortals, one wove threads of fate-touched red through every soul. Then a day came that tore this tapestry to shreds. Everyone can tie the red threads of their souls to whomever they wish. This doesn't change very much of the Mighty Nein's story, but what it does change—that is this story.

preview:

When Bren Ermendrud realizes that no one can be trusted without scrutiny—when he learns that his parents, who have been so warm and dear to him his whole life and first instilled in him the meaning of patriotism, now whisper in the dark of sedition—he reunites with Eadwulf and Astrid only to see the same profound despair in their eyes. They have been betrayed by the very people that made them.

That night, they speak of the rot that has crept into Blumenthal and poisoned their families. They mourn their childhoods, knowing what they must do now. Must, as they've done to numerous others guilty of treason. Their loved ones cannot be exempt from justice.

They can only trust each other. United as they are in dedication to their King and country; in protecting each other; in surviving.

Of the three, Bren is the romantic one.

"This is what it is," he murmurs. "To be bound, soul to soul. We only have us now. I want it, if you two do."

In answer, Eadwulf kisses him. Astrid clasps his hands in hers and brings them to her lips. Bren tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear and caresses the line of her jaw as Eadwulf kisses her, too.

So they do it—they bind the red threads of their souls together.

(read the rest on ao3)

[belleflowerwrites]

Take Heart, a pride and prejudice AU

Chapter 5: Vex takes care of her sick twin at Netherfield Park and gets to know Miss Keyleth Hayward and Lord Percival de Rolo a bit better. Vex also learns about some interesting new arrivals coming to Westruun.

~

Summary:

After fleeing her restrictive upbringing in Syngorn, Vex’ahlia Taylor had no intention of re-entering the ranks of high society. That is, until a young, single woman, Miss Keyleth Hayward, takes up residence in Netherfield Park. Alongside her is the mysterious, sullen Lord Percival de Rolo. As Vex'ahlia learns more about the tragedies that have befallen the de Rolo family and she gets to know the lord himself, she must determine if her first impressions are all they seem.

[sldlovescartoons]

Summary: Essek has been exploring his personality since he's gone into semi-hiding. Including his feminine side, which spiral into him orchestrating a feast of sorts while The Nein and company are vacationing in Rumplcusp with the help of Jester, Yasha, and Veth. Fluffy fun. R&R!

Dark elf societies are highly matriarchal and thusly built many of it’s standards and customs around what Essek understands to be the more stereotypically feminine. Long hair, lots of jewelry and accessorizing, makeup were pretty standard unless you were poor. In a drow culture to be powerful is to be at least slightly feminine. So of course, from the time he started forming his own ideas, which is to say very young, he’d been rather prone to embracing his masculinity. He refused to wear the dresses gifted to him by suitors from other dens (very gender neutral gowns, normally), he cut his hair short as soon as he thought he could get away with it, he never had more than two piercings in each ear. His mother once said he looked like a poor harlot, but she also said it made him seem very threatening so it was more of a backhanded compliment than anything else. It was just one way for him to rebel, he’d been realizing. The one head of short hair in a court of long hair in complex styles, it’s like he was symbolically waving a flag that screamed ‘I’m a giant heretic’.

Point being, since his decision to go on the run and all the reflection that comes with it, Essek has been indulging his feminine side. He’s been growing his hair out, he’s been crafting and learning to bake with Yasha, and he was even considering getting another piercing to hang some sort of statement piece representative of the Caleb or The Nein! But right now, he was planning his biggest move yet.

In Essek’s experience, one of the ways women provided was by having and commanding the best hunters to get the best food for their Den. If they were of a particularly feminine sort, they might run the kitchen alongside the head chef and likely had a few recipes only they know. He wanted to play with this particular providing instinct, but he had no hunters or hunting abilities, and the only chefs he had ready access to were the cats in the tower. So, the drow went to get advice from one of his best friends, hoping that she might help him figure something out to help him while they were all vacationing together on Rumblecusp. 

“Awh, you want to make Caleb a nice meal like a cute little house wife, that’s so sweet! I don’t think the cats know how cook anything that we’d catch here, but I’m sure we can use the kitchen in the towers to do something super awesome, we can ask Yasha for help, she’s like, super knowledgeable about weird ingredients, Essek. She’d maybe help hunt, to!!!”

He regretted everything. He wanted to throw himself in a black hole, he’d made a mistake.

“I did not say- I said I wanted to indulge in providing instincts-” The dark elf felt his ears trying to flick back in agitation and was barely able to stop them as he felt his face warm. He took a deep breath. “So you’ll help me?”

“Of course! I know lots and lots of places to look, plus I could ask Artie if he knows anyplace- But, really really, we should get Yasha! This is totally her thing, you know. Don’t worry, Essek, we'll hunt down a beasty and help you make a nice tasty meal for everybody to impress your boyfriend.” The little blue tiefling wiggled, grinned, and her eyes sparkled with excitement. 

“Partner, Jester, Caleb is my partner, we aren’t in primary school.” Boyfriend just sounded so juvenile to him. He was a powerful wizard of noble blood, formally of high station, he was over 120 years old, he didn’t have boyfriends, he had partners. 

“Whatever.” Jester waved the complaint away. “Okay, be ready early in the morning tomorrow, I’ll handle everything.”

And off she went.

Well, it was too late now, this was going to happen.

###################################################################

He hated hunting, he hated it so much. He hated it when his father took Verin and him out on a hunt as a rite of passage for male drow, and he hated it now, but at least he had help and at least it was over now. They even had a decent haul of ingredients to work with! Thankfully on their last Aeor trip Caleb taught him how to perform The Amber Vault, so they were able to pack up any meat they gathered while it was fresh. They’d managed to gather some fruits and veggies, and now they just had to get into the kitchen and practice. Experimentation and iteration were a lot more in his comfort zone, so he was eager to get in the kitchen where he’d deserve it more when Yasha and Jester teased him. He’s a grown elven man, he should know how to cook more than he does, but a hunter he is not and it is frankly unfair how much he’s been made fun of today. Essek was also, frankly, excited to see what they could do with what all they caught, which was a lot. Because they didn’t know what would work and cooking a meal in this case means cooking for eleven people because Molly and Caduceus were both here and Veth brought her husband and child.

Rumblecusp was truly a wonder, it’s bizarre magical history meant they could find something from anywhere if they really wanted to, and they did. Provided nothing goes horribly wrong, he was going to provide a feast of exotic meats and fruits that would make his mother eat her fucking headdress. 

  Case and point, and the one the drow was most eager to use: They have dinosaur meat! He wasn’t familiar, but Jester called it a Stegosaurus. They’d taken the legs, a large part of the tail, and part of it’s small intestine (Yasha had insisted on that, he did not know why and it scared him). They’d also killed and vaulted a large pill bug, a bird the size of a large dog, and some strange, big mollusks they’d dived for. This had all the making of a great experiment, at the very least. 

They entered the kitchen unbothered, the others out on the beach and Caleb up in his study/lab coming up with his lesson plans for after Spring Break. But, when the lights in the kitchen magically flicked on as they entered, Veth has sitting on a countertop, one leg crossed over a knee, waiting, like a villain in dramatic stage play, effectively scaring the hell out of him, which Essek is sure was the goal. 

  “Y’all planning a fancy meal?” The halfling rose a brow in silent judgement, triggering Essek’s flight or flight reflex on account of his ‘mommy issues’.

“Were you spying on us?” Essek responded defensively, even though there was nothing to defend, because they weren’t doing anything wrong but some animal part of the drow’s mind swore they were.

“No, my kid was spying on you and told me what he saw.”

Fucksake.

  “Pffttt, don’t worry, Veth, we aren’t doing anything sneaky shady, Essek just wanted to surprise Caleb with a nice dinner for everyone. Isn’t that so sweet, we just had to help him, he’d die in the forest by himself.” Jester answered before he could respond at all. That seemed like a gross simplification of the original intent, but it did seem to be the thing that was happening now regardless.

“You weren’t planning on hoarding the goods for yourself?”

“Wh- no, I wouldn’t- No!” Essek wasn’t babbling and nobody could prove that he was. 

“Well, why didn’t you ask for my help?” Because she didn’t like him and he values remaining unshot? “I’m a former goblin and a sort of homemaker, my knowledge is invaluable here. Good thing I caught you, I’m here to help, Luc said you killed some sort of dinosaur? T-rex Steaks again?”

Yasha was put incharge of butchering the hunts, besides the Pill Bug and Mollusks, which were sealed back away quickly so they wouldn’t sour. Pill Bug was close enough to shellfish to warrant it, he knew that much. That left the rest of them to safety and taste test the scavengings as well as meal plan. The onion-type things they found were safe, but more savory tasting than a regular onion. A fruit that Jester said resembled something called a plantain made his skin tingle when they were doing the pre-tasting skin test but was fine besides that and tasted a bizarre taste between sweet and sour. All the various herbs they’d been deemed safe and identified or given an equivalent identification, but one of the two mushrooms they found were definitely poisonous and Essek was very embarrassed as someone who’s diet was so mushroom heavy most of his life that he’d somehow missed that in the initial finding. There were several fruits that they all seemed to recognize on sight and thus didn’t need to be tested for safety, but he was made to taste for meal planning purposes.

“So, what do you want to do with the Stego, Floaty?” Veth asked him, looking at him like he should have an answer, and he definitely should have one of those, shouldn’t he?

“I’m not sure- I don’t know it’s taste or texture to plan, but it should be like a Giant Lizard, should it not?” The elf was pretty sure he knew some lizard dishes. Sort of between chicken and pork, but with a slightly grainy texture. “We don’t have time to make a stock with the tail, but maybe it would roast well?”

“Maybe for the littler bit at the end of the bit you all took, but what about the rest?” The halfling said pointing to the large tail Yasha was currently skinning with her broadsword when there was a butcher’s block of carving knives right behind her. The cat that Essek recognizes as being in charge of the kitchen was having some sort of feline conniption directly behind her as the sight of a sword being at the use in his kitchen. Caleb would be hearing from the Cat Union, there was no doubt about it. 

“Oh, Oh, I know! Stego appetizers! Stego-tizers! We could chop up the good part of the tail and fry them up chicken tender style, with lots of dipping sauces.” Jester was practically vibrating with excitement at her idea, but Essek’s nose crinkled a bit at the thought.

“Stegosaurus Tenders? That sounds rather…” Don’t say childish, don’t say childish, don’t say childish- ”Undignified?” He didn’t know if that was better or worse.

“It also sounds fucking delicous, we should do it.”

“Oh, but this is Essek’s dinner…” The blue tiefling visibly deflated and Essek wanted to throw himself into the ocean. “I don’t want to step on his thing TOO much.”

“It’s fine, it’s a fine idea, we have lots of food to work with to try for more refined dishes.” He said, folding under the force of disappointing Jester like a wet paper bag. “Besides, this group is such an eclectic collection of peoples, it might be thematically appropriate for this impromptu feast to have a… variety of dishes. Both of type and refinement.” 

“Really?” The sparkle was back in her eyes, and when he nodded his consent she sprung forward and hugged him. “Thank you, Essek! I have even more fun suggestions, if you like that one, but mostly for the deserts-”

His spine definitely cracked with the hug, but he couldn’t deny her the affection. It would be like denying a cloud it’s ability to rain.

“Do we want to go ahead and do the stego-tizers as an early snack sort of thing? Since the rest could take a while and we have so much stuff here.”

“A great idea, Veth, Jester, could I trust you to make a list of sauces? You’re from money, you’re traveled, I’m sure that you could figure out some wonderful dipping sauces.” Part of running a household was effectively using and directing the staff, this was sort of like that. His mother and all his aunts of varying degrees of relation ran the den like a fine tuned machine. He gave the blue tiefling what Caleb called his ‘pretty boy smile’, hoping to convince her of this task so he can keep focus on the tasks at hand. 

“Yes, I tooottally can, I can make them match that theme thing you were talking about! Different places, different sauces! Eclectic! Yeah!” Jester’s tail lashed sound like an excited dog as she whisked herself away to start writing down her ideas.

“Okay, so now that she’s over there, what do you want to do with the rest of your haul? Yasha told me about this stuffed pillbug recipe once, do we want to do a play on that?” Veth said, absolutely locking in. She was a short, murderous angel. No wonder Caleb is so fond of her.

“Yes, I know of a few Pillbug recipes myself, in passing, so that should be very doable.” The halfling’s strangely steady presence bolstered Essek’s resolve and made is easier for him to press forward with confidence and try to stir the situation himself. “We should also have the cats bring out lots of rice, noodles, staple vegetables and the like, since most of these can’t stand on their own. Also, do you think we pull off a rice pudding with those exotic fruits?”

“We have magic, we can do anything.” Not actually an answer, but good enough!

When it was just him and Veth it was surprisingly easy to get the menu ironed out in time to start making the Stego-tenders. Well, Yasha and Veth handled the actual tenders because he found the meat slimy and gross to touch, Essek was helping Jester make dipping sauces. 

“Okay, so, this fruit here sort of reminds me of a tomato, so we are definitely making a Rumblecusp version of that one sauce that I forgot the name of that we had when we were chilling in the Dynasty. It definitely had like ketchup or something like it at the base, so yeah.” Jester rattled off, sitting a bowl and a pestle down in front of him. “While you guy were yap yap yapping, I went ahead and cooked these, you are welcome, so you just need to mash these up with some vinegar, that brown type of sugar or maybe some honey I don’t know it’s your dinner, some lemon juice, until it’s aaaallllllllll smooth. We’ll go from there, okay? I’m going to do the sweetie mustard, yell for me when you are done.”

The little blue tiefling had said so many things so fast, but he was versed enough in Jester-ese to understand the mission at hand. Improv some island ketchup while she made honey mustard. He could do this. Essek plucked the barely not steaming any longer fruit-berry-vegetable thing that they found that was pretty much a purple tomato and started dropping them in and mashing them a bit before adding another. After there seemed to be enough there for the amount of sauce they need he just started to grind away with the pestle. It reminded him of hand making ink in his youth as a part of his magic education, or any alchemy adjacent work he’d done over the years, for that matter. It was sort of soothing, if he was being really honest. He added a healthy squirt of honey, along with the vinegar and lime and soon he seemed to have some janky purple ketchup on his hands.

“Okay, now what?” Wait, he was supposed to be in charge here, he was running this kitchen. He tries again trying to sound less like a child asking their mother for assistance. “I need to know the next steps.”

“Alright, so now just grate up those.” Jester said, looking up from her stirring to point at the ginger and garlic on the counter. “And then add it in with some of the dark sugar, the soy sauce and- Oh, there’s the wine! Thank you, Gretchen, for the wine, you’re doing so good.” The mentioned cat sat a bottle of sweet xhorasian wine down on the counter as she got to it on the list. “Just a bit of those, for flavor, I think will probably get the flavor close.”

“Alright.” It didn’t take long to get the ingredients prepped and in the bowl to keep pestling until smooth-ish. Towards the end of his pestling, the blue tiefling’s unique cadence busted through into his attention.

“We should try to do a sweet and spicy sauce. The cats can get us some peppers from the back, but what fruit should we use for the sweet part?” She asked, picking up and sniffing some of their scavenged fruits as well the ones the cats had already brought out, like smelling could give her the answers that she seeked. This an opportunity to assert his authority as the kitchen head.

“I propose that we cook and mash the flesh of the fruits to see what their consistency is like and what it does to the flavor, and we can go from there.” 

“You are so smart, Essek! I will start to prep the fruits, then.” Jester said, whipping out a knife that Essek was choosing to not think about the size of. 

Alright, they were on… a track. This was going to work.

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Essek decided he was going to bring Caleb’s late lunch to him himself. He could use a break from the kitchen (and all of Jester’s innuendo), and some food himself. Plus, the other wizard might need help with his lesson plans and grading and the ladies had already dispensed food to the others and started on the stegosaurus and bird roasts that they had planned, so he had time. In his hands was a platter of Stego Tenders (he wished he’d come up with a more refined name before that one had stuck) with four different dippings. Island Honey Mustard, Purple Xhorsauce, Green Sweet and Spicy, and some sort of thick dip Jester had made that had mushrooms and who knows what else in it. It was orange-ish, lumpy and tasted earthy but also sweet with a little zest. He didn’t know, it was ugly, but it tasted good. The Tenders themselves were a gorgeous golden brown that had taken probably too many tries to nail down if he was fully honest with himself.

“Good afternoon, Professor, would you care for a spot of lunch?” The drow half crooned as he walked up to his partner from his position hunched over papers at his lab table. His rusty red, gray streaked hair starting to escape the hastily made loose ponytail his hair was in to fall in his face. Good money would say that he was working on his lesson plans.

“Hm? Ja, yes, I would. A bit of a late lunch, but I appreciate it.” It seemed to take a second for Caleb to fully enter the moment, a testament to the degree to which he dives into his work. Blue eyes settle on the platter in his hands. 

“Fried foods? How surprising.” 

“It’s Stegosaurus tail.” Essek said with barely contained excitement at being able to serve his partner such exotic meat, gesturing at the table with the platter to hint at where it should sit. Caleb started to clear the spot.

“Dinosaur meat? My, you have been busy today, haven’t you?” Eyes gleamed at him in curiosity, asking without any words what he was up to.

“You have no idea. I think you’re going to be very pleased with dinner tonight, let's just say that much.” He sat the platter down on the cleared spot, promptly sitting himself down right after.

“Does this have anything to do with why Jester and Yasha were MIA this morning?” 

“A proper den leader uses only the best hunters.”

“But you didn’t bring Veth along?”

“You know she doesn’t like me.”

“But she does enjoy killing things.”

“Yes, and I am a thing.” The drow lets out a violent puff from his nostrils. “Anyway, as an opening prelude to the wonderful meal I’ve planned, we decided to make these Stego-Tenders, with four handmade sauces. Let’s enjoy this, shall we?”

“Ja, of course, why don’t you tell me about these sauces for the… Stego-Tenders?” Ah there was that annoying Teasing Eye Sparkle. The bastard.

“A good den head designates tasks to those most capable, Jester seemed a good fit for naming dishes.” He gave up as an explanation to a question that hadn’t been asked, but Caleb saw right through him and let out a snort of laughter that was unattractive but very endearing, because the human is just insufferable like that sometimes. “First, the Purple Xhorsauce- Jester.” The drow said in explanation at the open joy and mockery that had started to bloom across his partner’s face.

As Caleb laughed at him anyway, he plucked up a tender and dunked it in the purple sauce. The sauce turned out shinier and thinner than he’d ever imagined when he’d when he’d originally been handed those steaming island tomatoes. The sauce was such a homey color, too. He took a bite and was absolutely delighted. The crust had turned out crisp and so to his joy, Stegosaurus tail rather did taste like Giant Lizard! He found himself looking even more forward to the other dino dishes they had planned, since they’d been sort of planned around his own descriptions of lizard based dishes he’d had back in the Dynasty. The sauce also tasted remarkably like home, and so this particular bite was reminding him starkly of festival foods that he’d been considered generally too high class to have more than a handful of times. Like something you’d buy from a stand, but more refined.

“That good, Schatz?” Caleb teased, looking at his ears, which he’d been too in his head to notice were doing little happy flutters that he promptly stopped. “Don’t stop, it’s cute.”

“It’s undignified for a man of my age.” Essek grumbled, displeased that he’d lost control of his ears like a young child. Being Seen was so mortifying, really. The drow dipped the tender in the sauce and shoved it towards the other’s face. “Try it, it’s very good.” And he did.

“Oh.” Caleb said, a bit of food still in his mouth like the heathen he was, after a bit of chewing. “That is good.” 

“Of course it is, I made it, why would it be anything less than wonderful.” The drow felt like he was puffing himself up like a proud bird, but he deserved it after getting roasted by his friends all day, damnit. 

“Of course, silly of me to be surprised.” The ginger rolled his eyes before picking up his own tender and pointing towards another sauce. “What's that one? It looks familiar.”

“Oh, Jester made that one especially for you, she called it Island Honey Mustard.” Essek answered and Caleb’s eyes gleamed with a sort of subtle joy that normally happened when one of his friends did something sweet.

“Why with the Island tag?” He asked as he dipped his tender in the yellow sauce with the drow quickly behind them.

“I think to sweeten it she used both honey and some sort of island fruit juice.” It was all the answer he had until he took a bite and surely, along with meat juices, mustard and honey, a subtle fruity undertone coated his tongue. It was… unique, to say the least. “Hm.”

“That is… interesting. It tastes like a vacation home feels.” Caleb muttered with furrowed brows, like he was trying to decide if that was a good thing or not. That also would have been a nonsense sentence if he’d said it to anyone but him, but he understood well enough. The red head took another, smaller dip. Thought on it. “This one is probably my favorite.”

“Surely, you zemnians love mustard.” Caleb glared lightly but couldn’t summon up a real retort because they both knew he favored mustard and mustard seed for flavoring in his cooking. “Now, onto the next one, it’s got a bit of a kick to it.”

The other wizard reacted as dramatically to the Green Sweet and Spicy Sauce, or Swicy Sauce as Jester called it. The ginger was famously bad at handling true spice of any kind, so even getting a mouthful of the rather mild sauce made Caleb start to go red in the face whine, going into his normal theatrics. After Essek had stopped laughing at him, they moved onto the Orange Mushroom Sauce, which he’d personally loved but Caleb was rather undecided on. After sampling all the sauces they slipped easily into their typical lunch routine, as the drow asked about the lesson plans he was working on and the other wizard had started to eagerly jump into explaining how he was trying to formulate the plans for Advanced Transmutation 302. He relished in the opportunity to eat exotic junk food and ramble about academics with his partner, as he knew that his day was likely going to get chaotic when he returned to the making and serving of his feast. 

[inktrailing]

me: wait I checked to make sure I didn’t use this title before for this fandom but why does it feel familiar, OH, LoT, welp whatever I’ll survive

Summary: Verin sits as still as he can be as a gaggle of small children climb over him, all the while staring with mild panic across the way at his brother. His brother who is trying to hide a bubbled laughter behind the back of his hand pressed to his mouth.

Rating: Gen Relationship(s): Verin & Essek, Verin & Children, Essek & The Mighty Nein Words: 677 Additional Tags: Campaign 2, Post-Campaign 2, Found Family, Kid Fic, Babysitting, Implied Relationships, mentioned M9 & fam

[this-marvellous-world]

Why is this apparently the only way I can end my Critical Role fics? Who knows! But the final chapter of my long CR fic where Caleb gets kidnapped has now been posted