#bc i know im not aro bc i do experience attraction

[sunflowerrboyy]

hmmmm thinking thoughts again

[feralchaoschild]

apparently it's time for my continuous queer questioning, that happens around every three months since like 2021 and always revolves around what love means to me

like yes I am aromantic

but also how do I feel about the concept of love ? Conflicted, some days I feel loveless fits and other days I am just like, no, I make love into something that fits me

Like in general I feel that lovepunk fits me very well

but anyway that's not even my current crisis,,, my current crisis is my platonic attraction and platonic love towards my friends and also how much platonic attraction I actually have ????? Like the platonic love thing ties in with the lovepunk thing but the platonic attraction?????? Like all of my current friends i acquired basically by accident and not by seeking out friends and also uni friends are mostly fun people I hang out with at uni and also what does friend mean, when does someone count as friend ?? What makes a friendship a friendship ??? Like in a mostly queer friendgroup that mostly means something very different than social standards but also what are social standards??

So many questionsss,, and I just have no clue where I stand on platonic attraction or what love means to me and it's confusing and I hate it and this amatonormative society makes it incredibly hard to exist like this sometime

[14th-century-verona-queer]

HEY GUYS SO GUESS WHAT ABOUT VIKTOR FROM ARCANE

HES CONFIRMED ACE!!

BOOYAH

ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.

AND BEFORE SOME OF THE JAYVIK SHIPPERS GET ON MY FUCKING ASS; JUST BC YOU’RE ACE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T EXPERIENCE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION. ACE DOES NOT EQUAL AROACE.

STOP INVALIDATING AROS, ACES, AND AROACES. WE’RE TIRED OF Y’ALL’S BULLSHIT.

i would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that asexuality is a spectrum. just because viktor is asexual doesn’t mean he’s 100% sex-averse. there are sex-favorable aces. but this also CAN mean he’s sex averse. both are equally likely and it doesn’t matter which one he is, he’s still asexual.

its a spectrum so PLEASE don’t whine to me about how now you cant write fanfic about jayvik smut now or smth. i frankly don’t wanna hear it. you can always write your own headcannons or write something ooc. nobody cares.

im just very happy that we’re getting some ace rep (esp cause viktor is one of my faves TALK TO A WALLLL) in more shows. lets start with some aro (JUST ARO. NOT AROACE. THEYRE STILL DIFFERENT) and also some aroace rep. and nonbinary rep! and so many other identities :)

im loving the progress tho

and hell yea viktor, come join our conquest of taking over Denmark and eat some garlic bread with us. you will prove to be an invaluable asset.

EDIT: I WAS NOT AWARE THAT LINKE WAS A HOMOPHOBE WHEN WRITING THIS. i think it’s super gross that he made viktor ace for the hell of it to try to dissuade jayvik shippers. like please bsfr 😭😭 that’s so gross oml. and just when we thought we actually got some ace rep, it’s just to cover up some stupid shit like this like omfg

thank you to everyone for making me aware of this, i quite genuinely live under a rock and i didn’t even know anything about Christian Linke!

also just wanna take the time to mention i’m not bashing yall for reading jayvik smut 😭😭 like do whatever tf you want man i don’t care

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

going to format this like a reddit post because it’s the only way. i (transmasc) don’t know if i’m sexually attracted to the girl (transfem) im having sex with. i’ve known for a while that i’m asexual and fuck for fun, and when i see my friend who i’m fucking, i don’t have any immediate overwhelming desire to have sex with her, unless we’re like, in the moment yknow? like i totally forget that it’s even an option bc i could just sit there and talk to her for hours as my friend bc i love (platonic) her dearly and we have a lot of stuff in common. my only quip is that like, is that sexual attraction ???? being in her bed and having our hands on each other and kinda feeling it then? but not at other times? is sexual attraction constant?? maybe im bisexual and aromantic. or maybe i’m regular bisexual and i just dont like romantic relationships. makenzie why are human minds so goddamn difficult to parse the emotions of? i want to be her friend but im confused by my emotions towards her. how am i consistently having sex with someone im not literally sexually attracted to? and liking it? i mean that kinda has to be sexual attraction right? idk. help girl (gender neutral)

hi anon,

have a seat. drink some water. take a deep breath. we're wildly overthinking this.

what you call yourself - asexual, aro bi, bi but not into romance, whatever - that doesn't actually matter.

here are the things I'm worried about here: are you feeling at all pressured or coerced here? given the choice would you want to stop having sex with this person? do you feel comfortable setting boundaries and saying no when you have sex? you don't need to be overcome with raw sexual yearning for your sexual buddy, but do you enjoy and look forward to having sex with her? is this a positive experience for you?

it's fine to have sex even if you don't walk around thinking about it drooling like a horny cartoon wolf, whether it's because you're asexual or just allosexual without a particularly vigorous sex drive. (the line between those things can be pretty blurry and is pretty up to you to define, by the way.) sex can be fun and feel great; it's fine to want to do that even if you don't have a longing in your loins for it.

think of it this way? I don't particularly like most vegetables, but I like how my body will feel when I eat them, so I make a point of doing that as much as I can. and when I cook them they'll usually come out pretty tasty, and I'll enjoy or at least fell neutral about them. and still doesn't mean I like vegetables, or at least I don't particularly identify as someone who likes vegetables, but I did. eat those vegetables.

the sex is vegetables.

I can't tell you if this is sexual attraction. but also it doesn't matter very much as long as you're being safe and having fun.

[mossy-aro]

been thinking about the idea of 'coming out' and whether the experience of it is different at all for aspecs. like i feel with other identities when you come out generally (esp in queer circles like most of my friend groups) people already have a baseline of knowledge about gay (and to a lesser extent) trans identities. i think that's kind of different for aspecs though since the default amount of knowledge tends to be zero, or close to it. and so coming out, which is something you typically have to do over and over again, can become an exhausting process instead of a cathartic one (at least to me).

personally, i came out once and then called it quits. i told the people i felt needed to be told, and if i meet more, i'll tell them too. but i would say the vast majority of people i know irl don't realllyyy know that im aroace. coming out isn't really a thing i do. me being aspec/aroace is like an open secret - i'm not hiding it, but it's not something i'll bring up and i'll usually avoid the question if asked. and it's not because i care if anyone knows bc i really don't! but because once that's out there it changes the way people view my behaviour in a way i really don't like. if i say 'that person's good looking' people question whether i am attracted to them and thus my asexuality. it raises questions. if i do anything that contradicts the idea of being aroace = zero attraction and repulsed by the idea of romance/sex, my identity gets questioned and i will have to inevitability explain aspec 101 to them. like no we're not all sex/romance repulsed, also it's a spectrum, also ace and aro people can have sex and date and it doesn't make them less aspec, attraction is complicated, etc. which is something i just genuinely do not and never will have the energy for. i'd rather people just assume i'm allo because it makes my life so much easier unfortunately. my close friends know and that's all that really matters to me. if i sense that someone doesn't already know a lot about aspec people i'm just not going to tell them even if they ask.

[woofwoofwolf]

Go home, Hobie Brown

Hobie brown x reader

Part 2:

Notes: Alt reader, Aro Ace spec reader but this fic is still romantic in nature (bc im aro ace and this is wish fulfilment, so dont come for me if this doesnt line up with your lived experience), fluff, reader has anxiety over liking Hobie and he teases reader for it a lil, reader remains GN but might have a writing bias towards fem, nicknames: babe and sweetheart, Hobie and reader are adults, use of (y/n), no phonetic spelling of Hobies accent, brit wtitten by a European sue me

The type of alt space the reader belongs to is up to you. Alt meaning alternative, as in subculture spaces. I'm alt myself so this comes from experience. Get stared at a lot lol

Pls dont repost anywhere thx ✨️

There was a rush to the exit of the classroom. You were always slow packing your intricately decorated book-bag and were one of the last to leave.

"Thank you professor, have a nice rest of your day."

"See you on monday, (y/n)." The professors always knew your name, despite having so many students. Another curse or blessing (depending on the situation or your point of view) of dressing alternatively - people never seem to forget you.

You opened the door but immediately slammed it shut again, causing the professor to look back up at you.

"Oh. Hehe... sorry..." you turned back to the classroom. No other exits. Maybe you could jump out of the window?

But before you could reconsider your escape plan, the originator - or should I say instigator - of your panic and embarrassment entered the room with the heavy steps of his well-worn boots.

"Hey there," said Hobie Brown, as confident as always. "What are you up to,"

You felt an unwanted warmth crawl up your neck. You had always told your friends that romance wasn't for you and that you weren't going to date anyone just to 'find out.' You weren't ever ashamed of not ever having been attracted to someone before, but man, were you ever unprepared to have a crush as an adult.

You met Hobie through Gwen. From the moment he met you, it was as if a switch flipped inside of him. He decided that he liked you and that he wanted you. He had told you so right away.

"You single?" You were sure he didn't even know your name at that point. He liked the way you expressed yourself, and although you usually hated how people would pretend to know what you were about only from the way you dressed, it was like Hobie actually understood you in just a glance.

You felt it right to tell him that you didn't do dating, but it wouldn't leave your throat. Never had you been confessed to before, and you didn't know what to even say.

He started showing up places, more and more, he became an unpredictable part of your circle. You didn't know how to process him.

"Let's match pace together. You feel me?" He'd say.

"No, I don't, actually,"

But slowly, you did. It felt as if your slow and monotone life started to pick up some speed, all the while you felt more in tune than ever. You wondered if the pace of his life had slowed down a bit in return, but you were too scared to consider what he might specifically be feeling for you and why. You doubted he wasn't being genuine, but you had no idea why he insisted on you.

You'd bicker with him (oh. It was so fun to bicker with him- wait were you flirting with him?), but when Gwen asked if you wanted her to tell him to leave you alone, you told her not to. Which only further fanned the flames of Pav's incessant 'shipping' of the both of you.

And so, you realised that for the first time in your life, you felt something for someone. And you were completely unprepared to tackle it.

"I can't believe it, coming to see me while I'm at uni."

Your eyes shot back and forth from Hobie and the professor who looked at the both of you with sparkling curiosity. Even the small remainder of the otherwise consistently disinterested students were all looking at you. Dressing alternatively, you were used to people staring, but now you just felt embarrassed, as if even talking to him was the equivalent of making out in the middle of the room.

"You told me when your classes were yourself," Hobie reminded you with a little smirk, picking up on your embarrassment.

"No but-" you huffed. "this is harassment-"

"You know, I'll leave if you tell me to?" He teased, back straight, hands in his pockets. "You can say it, sweetheart. I believe in you. Say 'Go home, Hobie Brown'!"

You glared at him, yet no sound dared to leave your throat.

"C'mon babe, say it," he leaned forward challenging your gaze.

Both of you held it there for a couple of seconds. A pin could drop in that classroom and everybody would hear it.

Finally, after that afore-mentioned warmth reached your cheeks and had become visible to all, you broke.

"You like dunkin'?" You muttered, walking towards the door. You swore you could hear some students chuckle or gasp, and you wanted to get out as quickly as possible.

Hobie whistled and followed, just a few steps behind you, never actually invading your personal space until you were ready, "Asking me on a date? Now, that's bold,"

"It's not a date. But you ARE buying. I want a smoothie. And a donut, of course."

"Taking advantage of me now babe?"

"And why shouldn't I? If you're going to cling to me like a magnet, I might as well make use of you." You briefly stopped, and Hobie nearly walked into you. You peered up at him, batting your lashes. "You know I really don't know what you see in me. Maybe you better run home while you're ahead."

"Depends," Hobie said, ecstatic every time you took his bait. "Will you be going with me?"

-----------

Two fics in one day??? What is going on. Anyways hope you enjoyed, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, don't be shy to talk to me lol

You know as someone who's aro ace spec, I find an escape in fictional characters and the idea that they could be the ones to finally sweep me off my feet and get me to feel some type of attraction. It sounds cringy and emberassing, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If you're like me then I hope this scratched some kind of itch for you lol.

[kuromi-hoemie]

I'm still not 100% sure whether I'm aro or hyper-romantic or if the difference even matters..

me: haha i love my friends (: there's nothing I'd do for a lover i wouldn't do for a dear friend of mine if i think they're cute

> finds out i can love my friends like my lovers and hasn't wanted to “date” anyone in like a year

> treats my lovers and friends the same way and just acts according to each's boundaries

like. literally did not realize until my 29th year of being alive that i was ace bc it's subtle as hell to pick up on if you do have sex. and im just like. i just want to spend my life with everyone who matters to me idc about the semantics or labels I WILL LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART TO THE FULLEST IF YOU LET ME!!!!!!!!!!

there's probably better ways to articulate this but idk lol i just wonder if my perception of romantic feelings isn't actually what everyone else experiences as “romantic feelings”..... the same way i didn't know i was missing sexual attraction bc no one ever stopped to ask me if i actually do like having sex and what i like about it specifically.... like relationships?? LOVE having a web of relationships, but being IN one?? idk 😬 over a decade of monogamy has left me with thoughts and feelings™, mostly being i rly do not care about that and just... want to love my friends and find some friends i can get Real close to, who for all intents and purposes are basically my lovers but aren't actually my partners ykwim.........?? idk................ idk, anyways. Am I Aro Day #462, STATUS: UNKNOWN

[bubblyernie]

I’m going to say something so outta nowhere but the one line that’s prevailed in making me a more accepting person to myself and others came from a teen titans episode I watched when I was like. 10. Maybe 9? Where Raven says (to BB) “I respect the fact that you don’t eat meat. Please respect the fact I don’t eat /fake/ meat.” (Yknow cuz he’s a vegetarian)

And to put it in context as someone who’s aromantic but allosexual in a lot of niche kink circles and a very queer friendly place IRL (the school and city I’m living in) it really helped me to come to terms with 1. YKINMK ATOK as well as 2. getting over the “sex = impurity” culture that I grew up with. Like I hung around a lot of people who were also aro or ace or both around very, for lack of a better term, horny communities which had allo people too, and that’s all cool for them but then pretending Im “above” attraction or that it’s like ‘alt’ to not be into sex to be part of this inner circle was smth I had to get over. And it wasn’t anyone else’s fault but my own, and ofc we were all like fresh adults and stuff and having to learn this stuff of course comes with bumps in the road.

To reel it back to my point, it made me learn to be comfortable as someone who wants to be intimate by saying like “I respect the fact that you don’t want to have sex. Please respect the fact that I do”. Like to me this was a way I could avoid being dismissive or disrespectful, because that’s not what I want, what I wanted was to say like I’m not comfortable with this kinda tone, I’m going to excuse myself if that’s the case, but I still respect you speaking about your relationship with your identity

This is all personal experience ofc, I was raised religious too so that was a part of it. And this isn’t to compare myself to others who are aro/ace/both or put them down, and I’m especially not saying (to make this abundantly clear) that asexual/aromanticism and religious/purity/chastity ideologies are the same, that sort of thing can affect ANYBODY. Me overcoming purity culture was not a result of stepping over others.

As a side, most of the kinkiest circles I’m in are made up of ace spec people with the brightest personalities ever and even if you aren’t into kink that’s 100% cool!! again, personal experience, this is the only lens I’ve connected through which is why I bring it up, not bc it’s the only community for queerness. Im still learning, trying to get out there and that means not knowing everything. and I can’t speak for everyone in one post either ofc

ALL THAT TO SAY every time this comes up and I think about accidentally offending people I care about by establishing my comfort and boundaries, I think of “I respect that you don’t do (thing), please respect the fact that I do” from teen titans and it’s really helped as a way to frame what I’m trying to say

ANYWAY I was going to post this during pride month but I forgot so I’m saying it now bc every month that I’m queer is pride month lmao happy July 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 there’s parts I forgot to explain bc this is all stream of consciousness but I hope my point is clear.

Ps If you misinterpret this as a way to bash ace OR allo people, then I’ll literally saw off your teeth

[radios-universe]

how come you like heartstopper and not romance? is it that you like the idea of romance but not the real thing? did you say romance as in you just don't like being involved in it yourself?

i have no idea what post this might be referring to or maybe just in general but i probably have talked about this so here we go!

fun ask to get tbh i Do talk about this a lot

short answer: you’re right, i enjoy consuming romance media (especially queer media) because i love the idea of romance…. however, when i personally have gotten too close to it in the past, i just freak out.

no matter how much i think i want it, my brain and my body just shut down when i get too close… and then the aftermath of that can feel pretty shit! bc usually i’m just annoyed at myself in some weird way, as if i didn’t just experience the same thing as i did last time, and the time before….

LONGER answer:

in terms of heartstopper, of course there are aro/ace characters represented (i mean, come on, duh, even alice themself) but we all know it’s a very romance centric show/comic

i’ve never been able to define if it’s just… a sense of identity within the characters or just generally being happy for them or…. a whole mix of emotions but!

seeing characters im emotionally attached and invested in get together and be happy is like!!!! drugs!!! idk!!!! and probably the closest thing i’ll get to experiencing that with… another person which seems like a very odd thing to say!!!

but that kind of excitement is something i guess i could never feel with a relationship of my own so… living vicariously through characters like the ones in heartstopper actually really helps me with aromanticism? it’s odd! and that def doesn’t go for everyone but it’s at least what happens for me

to expand on the queer media comment too, i’ll consume queer media that even might not represent aro/ace people at all! and still feel that same fulfilment!

if you take a story about a character realising they’re gay, people will focus on them realising they feel attraction for the same sex. i mean, that’s what it is at face value.

but an equally important part of the representation for gay characters is the realisation that they are not attracted to the opposite sex. and THAT i can relate to.

when representation for aro/ace people is this sparse, you get pretty used to finding representation in people you don’t really expect to. and that’s also what heartstopper does for me, while it fulfils my desire for romance through me living vicariously, it also represents me, not just in its aro/ace characters, but in every queer journey! because there’s always a sneaky hint of aro/ace representation anywhere as long as we can do something about it! hah

[enlighten3d]

Hi sorry I know this might be really personal and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want to but you post a lot about being aroace and I've been thinking about that for myself kind of a lot lately and was just wondering how you know for sure that that's what you are as opposed to not having found the right person yet kind of thing that people always tell you.

Again sorry personal absolutely don't feel pressured.

mmmm okay so! idm answering this, im happy to help (: but for claritys sake: i am asexual by definition, but i dont indentify as such! i only id as aromantic bcs thats the only indentity that actually feels important and like a part of me. might not make any sense but whatever lol

how i knew that im aro? i just. found the label, and was like, 'sure, why not.' and it stuck. its... for the difference between being aro and not having found the right person yet, its that, well. okay, so what if youre not actually aro? you do meet someone you love romantically even after youve ided as aro for years? cool, whatever, you can keep the aro label, or change it. or you never do fall in love romantically, and dont need to do anth abt the label.

what im saying is... mm okay label is a misnomer. i once heard someone say that labels are more akin to fridge magnets - you stick them on, and maybe they stay and you like how they look and make you happy. or maybe you stick them on and they look bad and you dont like them so you take them down. or maybe you stick them on and you like them for a while, but it starts feeling wrong eventually, so you take them down. labels - like magnets - arent permanent.

its impossible to really, truly, make a mistake in finding a label that explains your experiences. even if its wrong, there was smth that felt right abt it at that time. its a part of your journey. we, as people, are ever-changing - its literally impossible to know what will happen tomorrow, nevermind in a few years (sorry the isat reference is mostly unintentional).

so how did i know? i stuck the aro magnet on. and i like how it looks for now, maybe forever. maybe ill find the 'right one' or whatever, or maybe i wont. if i do, then whatever, down goes the magnet. if i dont (and i dont think i will, for the record! i dont have any Reasoning, its just... okay ill explain this next paragraph), then up there it stays. youre free to say youre aro for now and then change it if it ever changes. theres nothing stopping you, nonnie

as for yeah, whatever vague wording i can give to my reasoning, its... standard stuff, sorry. ive never understood romance? i think its completely fucking unnecessary and overrated. stupid, even. i straightup Do Not Get It. i forced myself to say i have a crush on a guy in gr4 bcs everyone else was talking abt crushes. decided i was romantically attracted to this girl in dance class bcs i liked her vibes. trying to conform to actually wanting romance when i just dont. dated this girl in gr8, and then when we broke up (i am bad at communication and unfortunately incredibly fucking clingy), i was like... 'huh, i didnt really feel that different about her than i did abt any of my other friends'. i just really really cared abt her and wanted to be close w her, and the only way i knew how to do that was 'romance'. but that wasnt it. found out abt aro ppl (forget how; memory is Trash), and was like 'oh damn, thats... that makes sense'. i definitely had a crisis and Logic but i do not remember that, sorry. all of this is pieced together from old text messages and half-remembered memories hajdjdzkzos

imo the concept of a 'right one' is pretty damn fucking stupid (/nay; at Society). 8 billion ppl on earth. im not going to find this hypothetical right one who can change absolutely everything about me and my identity. ive got the ppl around me that i already love. im happy w that. chasing after some hypothetical infinitesimal chance of a person whos Perfect for oneself is just a damn waste of time

so just... these decisions dont have to be permanent, nonnie. youre allowed to be wrong and realise that you werent actually aroace. youre allowed to be wrong. so if you want my advice? say youre aroace. stick the magnet on, see if it falls off or not. its still a valid and valuable part of your journey. youre allowed to be wrong. youre always allowed to be wrong.

i mean, afterall, how can one be sure that they ARE allo? that they WILL find that 'right one'? through experience. so fuck around, find out. stick that magnet on.

good luck (: i rly rly hope this is helpful and not just me repeating what youve already heard, sry for yapping so much LMAO. i have a lot to say

[conceptofjoy]

feel free to delete this of you don't want to answer but how did you determine you were aro? i feel like im not aro but im not... not aro either? like the concept of romance is weird to me but i dont think its because of me i think it's just an objectively wack ass concept. but i find myself relating to the experiences of aro people often. so i wanted to know what that label means for you and how it relates to your feelings/views on relationships because I am maybe a little lost on this journey.

IT WAS A STRUUUUGGLGLLEEEEE. omg i think i finally got confident in calling myself aro like this year?

like in the post before, theres so many types of attraction and it all sorta blends together. when you get flustered when someone pretty comes talks to you, were you platonically admiring their looks? was the feeling romantic? sexual? even then, maybe you just werent expecting them to come up to you and you got caught off guard and embarrassed by fumbling the interaction.

your relationship to romance is unique and its hard to know if every one else feels about it the same way you do, no body does we're all flying blind when it comes to communication. when i say im aro, im using it as an umbrella term and a lot of other people use it the same way. i dont feel like looking for the specific label bc im just kinda like that.

there's also different types of relationships that are just as fulfilling as romantic ones can be so its hard to ask "would you be ok with never being in a romantic relationship" because theres also societal pressures that give people major fomo if you decide to opt out (despite being in a relationship would probably not give you the fulfillment you need).

i think the question should rather be, would id'ing as aro (or any of the more specific labels) give you something/ help you in any way? because you're questioning in the first place, i feel like its safe to say that you've done introspection enough to push past those biases society instills in us to assume we all desire romance since we were born. to give you something i mean for example like, would it give you confidence? would it feel affirming in your experiences? would you feel better in acknowledging your stance on romance? you're absolutely allowed to fuck around w the label for as long as you'd like as well!!! up to you :]

[stanlunter]

Characters that I think are actually straight even tho a lot of people consider them as queer:

Bc I have the whole hour before Pride Month and I'm bored, lol

Rainer. Well, he didn't show to have feelings for any male characters (and no, I don't think he likes Bertholomulo, he litterally ships him with Annie), only to Historia, plus he just doesn't give me this vibes, so yeah

Bojack main five. All of them have shown interest only to the opposite gender, so there are no reasons for them to be anything rather than straight. The only exception can be Mr Peanutbutter with his interest in Bojack bc of which I don't mind people hc him as bi, but I think it was just a platonic admiration, nothing more. Also hc any of them as aro or ace (except Todd, obviously) doesn't make sense either, since we know damn well that all of them are very romantic and almost all of them are very sexual

Howleen. I can see her being bi, but I personally don't think she's actually interested in women. She was shown to have interest in men, but women? Just no. Twyls is her bestie, not a gf. I don't mind headcanons ofc, but I just don't see it

Denji. I mean, this guy is obsessed with women and never shown interest in men, he's straight as a line, sorry

Rika & Momoe. I really don't know where it even comes from, but a lot of people hc Rika as lesbian, while she's pretty much canon straight. She litterally says "I wish you was a boy" line and you still don't get it?

What about Momoe... This one confuses me even more. For some reason the whole fandom thinks Momoe is barely canon bi/trans, I have to fully desagree with this, cuz it basically goes against her whole arc

No, she wasn't in love with her friend that killed herself. That basically was the point that her friend killed herself bc Momoe didn't like her back (at least I read it this way). In fact, Momoe litterally was sad bc only women were attracted to her bc they thought she waa a boy. While she wanted a man to find her attracted. So it makes no sense for her to like girls.

Trans think is mb arguble, but I interpritate her story as an experience of being gender nonconforming: she doesn't look like a gender she is. I don't see any trans allegories here, especially considering the fact that we have a canon trans character there, Im pretty sure, if the creators wanted Momoe to be trans, they would say she is. Also the fact that she could get in this "magical world" , since only afab can go there (considering the fact that Kaoru, as a transman, got there)

Shinji & Kaoru. Yes, this one is super objectionable. Tbh, I can see him being bi, as everybody thinks he is. However, I do like another explanation of his character arc and his relationship with Kaoru, bc It's just much more interesting than him just being bisexual

Well, in the way I see it, Shinji is straight and basically can be only attracted to girls, however, Kaoru is the only person that showed "love" to Shinji and who "cared" about him. While everyone else were rejecting and just using him, Kaoru is the first person who said Shinji he loves him and the only one that basically didn't want anything from him. Who could give Shinji unconditional love he can't get from others. And I really do not think that Shinji loved him "back" in romantic way. Imo, he didn't love him at all, but since Kaoru was the only one who gave Shinji at least some love, Shinji had no other choice than take this love anyways. Just bc it was the only way for him to feel loved in general. And to me this idea reveales Shinji's character much better than just "he's bisexual, that's why he hang out with Kaoru" and "Kaoru exists only for lgbt rep" (also have to add that It's only about original anime, not rebuilds, bc I basically haven't watched it and mb It's different there)

What about Kaoru? Kaoru isn't a human to have feelings or love. In reality he doesn't care about Shinji, he just pretended to love him only to find out what love for humans is. So ofc I don't think he's straight either. He just doesn't have feelings bc he's not a human and not even a person. He's just an angel who pretended to be a boy to know humans better

Ramona (from the movie). I thought this one is basically canon, but for some reason some people still think she's bi. Yes, she had relationship with another girl, but she has litterally said that she was just "a little bi-curious" - which literally means that she's straight and just wanted to have this experience and that she's not wlw in any way, unlike Roxie. Imo, headcanoning movie Ramona is bi is kinda even biphobic, since it sounds exactly like this stereotype that bi girls only play with girls and always chose men anyways

Higuchi. This take isn't as strong, but I just personally don't see her as wlw. She's obsessed with Ryunosuke and has never shown any sign of being interested in Gin, so yeah, I think she's just straight and gives me these vibes tbh

Annie & Hitch. Again, both girls that have shown interest only to men. Annie loves Armin, and, even tho I don't like Aruani, It's litterally canon and even has some build up. And Hitch talks only about men as well. Also I really love her relationship with Marlo and their love was really so important. Yeah, both of them could be bisexual, but I just don't see this. The only hc Im really against is any of them being lesbian, bc it just doesn't make sense

Lute. I mean, she's litterally homophobic and It's basically canon. And she didn't show any signs of being closest gay/bi anyways and Imo she loves Adam. Idk why would she be anything besides homophobic straight. Like, I can see Adam being bi, but Lute? Nah

And yeah, if anyone thinks me seing some characters as straights makes me homophobic, I advise you to use your brain or smth. Anyways, that's just my vision which I'm not trying to impose on anyone, lol

[cuddlycryptid]

top 25 most unhinged things my roommate did without realizing they were the problem

When i first met Roommate, they complained constantly about their Housemate at the time. Housemate’s two sins were: 1. they left mountains of dishes in the sink for so long, they grew mold, 2. and they refused to communicate at all. 

Roommate tells Housemate gtfo, and gives the empty room to me 

turns out, Roommate leaves mountains of dishes in the sink for so long, they grow mold

uh oh

Roommate constantly refused to communicate at all 

to the point where Roommate’s Boyfriend took it upon himself to start getting the rest of the friend group together like every week to be like “hey guys, so sorry but Roommates having feelings and doesnt want to reach out to yall… but they DO also expect u to fix it  <3” 

rip to us all when BF moved out 💀 doomed

Roommate’s Boyfriend tell Roommate that he experiences polyamorous attraction. Roommate said no u dont !  not while ur dating me :)

it probably didnt help how much BF and the rest of our friend group joked about essentially being in a polycule. oops

like. there was one time when Roommate’s BF didnt text them for a whole day and Roommate started threatening to kill themself. so. they were perhaps a touch codependent

around this time, Roommate and my Best Friend both helped me realize that my GF ignoring my boundaries was toxic- and i needed to leave so i could figure out my own shit*. They both helped me to gather the courage to end things, and talked me through how i would explain it to her. we all hoped Ex-GF would be understanding and we could all stay friends. Ex-GF didn’t take it well.  Roommate then immediately accepts my Ex’s untrue version of events* without asking me a single question- or letting on that they had heard any concerning details that didn’t line up with the version of events that they were literally present for 

*shit i was sorting: i was deeply MentallyUnwell! and realizing i was aro-ace !! and more!

*ex-GF accusations: that i mustve been secretly cheating on her for months with my (also aroace-spec) Best Friend (?)

the next month i hit like rock bottom mental health, fighting to stay alive shit. i told Roommate “hey i isolate when im struggling like this bc i dont have energy to hang out with people, but i love you sm and ill be back! please be patient and dont take it personally if im not around rn !!” and then they took it super personally 

Roommate decided to start Secretly Testing the friend group. Normal and Healthy

(the game was a cycle: Roommate isolates, we reach out, they cancel plans, we check on them, they say theyre fine, they isolate, etc. u know it)

we didn’t know it was a game. we respected boundaries and thus didn’t ~penetrate their walls~ enough

so, despite all the concern and love we sent to Roommate, Roommate decides the group must all be collectively faking our friendship 

the house is now under Guerilla Warfare

Roommate thought they were rlly good at lying, so they thought Bestie and I wouldn't be able to notice that they were mad 

(they are not good at lying)

no matter how affectionate i was, they never returned any warmth. i would asked them if they were ok, if i could do anything for them, and they said they would let me know

The Vibe™ made me rlly anxious around them, but my therapist reminded me i cant assume ppls Upset is Abt Me, and its the other person’s responsibility to communicate that if it is. so. i decided that i would trust my friend to do that 🤡

whenever i lose something, i make jokes about fairies taking it. we were an ADHD house, so we all lost stuff a LOT. Roommate thought the fairy jokes were proof that i was gaslighting everyone 😈

Roommate started keeping my ESA cat Goose locked in their room for hours when i got home, for days at a time. Then Goose got sick.

Roomate kept an endless bowl of my kibble in their room. Goose’s tummy is sensitive, so i asked them to stop feeding her so i could monitor her diet. they agreed

Bestie and I start to find cheap wet cat food in the trash- and it was a brands that Goose had reacted poorly to before. Roommate denies this

we also established that it’s vv bad to smoke weed in the same room as a cat

Roommate would have Ex-GF over multiple times a week for (indoor) smoke seshes, with Goose locked in the room. 

Roommate also denies this, even tho we could all smell it

Roommate took advantage of the fact that I genuinely wanted Roommate and Ex-Gf to still be friends post-breakup

so multiple times Roommate took my weed supplies and lied to me about where they were going 

Roommate knew i wanted the vibe in the house to be mature and neutral, so they figured that was clearance to start bringing Ex-Gf over constantly…to shit talk the other ppl in the house and hotbox the room with my cat

Roommate’s immediate response to being challenged abt anything, was always to try and intimidate the other people- by getting mad, sometimes by slamming things, uk... shit u get from years of mentorship under a toxic parent 

(tbh it was kinda silly bc Roommate’s like 5’1”)

but also all Roommate’s friends are traumatized ppl! so Roommate can successfully bully anyone who is confrontation-avoidant enough

Roommate would boast about how they were fucked up and unhealthy, while refusing to actually go to therapy or take the meds (that they knew helped)

many such cases (ie all the worst ppl u know)

instead, Roommate held one member of our found Family hostage as a free therapist 

Roommate constantly isolated Fam from the rest of the people who loved her by repeating lies and vitriolically shit-talking the rest of us 

Fam asked Roommate to stop, because it was bc it was emotionally destroying her, and Roommate agreed…then immediately ignored her boundaries and continued to make her life a living hell

(Fam is doing better now, but after the War she started to go to therapy (yay therapy!) and Roommate just. never gave a shit about the way that their behavior affected her, or checked in ooh  it makes me so fckin mad)

Fam begged Roommate to communicate to the rest of the friend group. Eventually, Roommate talked to my Bestie- mostly complaining abt how much Roommate resented me, and then asked Bestie to communicate to ME what Roommate was feeling

Bestie told Roommate that they wouldnt do that bc Roommate needed to talk to me themself 

Roommate later was upset because they said they still expected that message to be passed along anyways

so Roommate was sitting there resenting me, thinking that i knew what they wanted me to do, and i was just ignoring it… when i had literally no idea any of this was going on 🙃

8 months post-breakup, after countless hours of self-healing, and many conversations with Bestie about how Bestie understands their own aroace feelings... i started to understand the v aromantic (!) way that i experience love and devotion! …i also realized that i love my Bestie a lot. after talking about it for a while, Bestie and I decide we could be aroace together in a Queer-Platonic Relationship :D !!!              anyways Roommate accused us of lying to everyone, claiming Bestie and I werent actually in a QPR

bc Roommate knew what all QPRs looked like (bc Roommate and their Boyfriend had tried out a QPR for a few months before they started dating romantically). so.  theyre qualified to be the qpr police obv

STILL without communicating to me, Roommate tells a Mutual Friend that if “things dont get better” in the next two weeks, Roommate would evict me and Bestie, making us homeless

Roommate was already planning on moving out in 3 months. theyd rather pay the last 3 months of rent solo than use their words

(also Roommate was lying to us that we were subleasing from them, when we were actually all renting equally, but that’s another story)

Roommate explains to Mutual Friend that, yeah, they hadnt actually TALKED to me, but only bc Bestie and I REFUSED to allow Roommate to communicate

at 2 points earlier that week i had sent them long, desperate texts, begging Roommate to tell me if something was wrong, and that id do anything to fix it. and every time i saw Roommate i automatically checked in. and i frequently reminded them they could always talk to us. but other than that, not at all 🙂‍↔️

in response to this conversation with Roommate, Mutual Friend decides its time for an Intervention

The Intervention 

Mutual Friend said it’d be a Friend Group therapy session- we’d have mature, calm communication, and if anything got heated/emotional at all, Mutual Friend would intervene and break us up

Roommate asked to go first- and jumped into this unhinged monologue 

Roommate was clearly so angry that Mutual Friend was just too scared to reign them in at all, the whole time

everyone in the group just stared at each other in disbelief as Roommate went OFF for 25 min

the speech was full of my ex-gf’s selfish pop-psych therapy talk, too, which made it hard to take seriously… but it was so clear Roommate and Ex-Gf had together fully rationalized all their behavior 👍

via monologue, Roommate explained how, 6 months ago, we had all failed their Secret Test, so they knew we were all Fake 

i was devastated that they felt that way. i  explained it wasnt a lack of love for them- its just that the same month Roommate was Secretly Tested us, was also my Hell Month

aka the month that my ptsd made me nonfunctional , and i tried to kms, and i spent like all my time catatonic from the onslaught of mental angst. so. i wasnt like hanging out w my friends a lot uk

But i apologized profusely, tearfully, genuinely… that i didn’t have the strength at that time to be more focused on my loved ones’ wellbeing, that i didnt realize what Roommate needed, and that i wasnt there for them

Roommate said they refused to accept my apologies

bc Roommate’s mental health was bad too, and they would’ve liked it if we hung out more :(

At the end of the Conversation, Roommate didn’t notice that they had gotten to go on a 25-minute verbal rampage, and everyone else in this “mutual” communication session was too scared to bring up any of the topics that we had prepared

Roommate was always unbelievably defensive, esp when already riled…so everyone else in the group collectively agreed to stay quiet

and we now realized that literally anything we did, no matter how well-intentioned, could be interpreted as a personal attack

we talked it over after and agreed, that trying to share our issues was pointless. itd just add to Roommate’s resentments and undo all the good we just did by letting Roommate let off some anger on us

we had realized that literally anything we did, no matter how well-intentioned, could be interpreted as a personal attack

THAT conversation was what it took for me to realize oooh, i think Roommate isnt my friend lol

After that, when the dish pile started to smell again, Bestie decides they’re not going to keep doing Roommate’s chores. 

In the past when asked about dishes, Roommate would just deny that they used any of the dishes that were sitting in the sink 

(Roommate had their own dishware and pots- Bestie and I were very careful to ONLY use our (red) pots so we knew which ones were ours. and the dishes in the sink were always gray)

this time, Bestie dared to push back on Roommate’s “theyre not mine”, pointing out the color

Roommate got incredibly defensive and denied ever using any dishes or pots, at all, before storming away

(the dish mountain happened to move out when Roommate did)

Roommate starts prepping to move. stuff that belongs to me or Bestie begins to disappear from the common spaces. the suspect list is short

at one point in the move, Roommate showed me their boxes- and i saw my favorite towels on top of one of the boxes. i went and grabbed my towels later and they did NOT like that lmao

Roommate was irate and very aggressive, terrifying Bestie to the point of a total meltdown (which is very unlike Bestie btw)

Roommate accused me of stealing their stuff. i would never, but Roommate insisted that they knew i took something 

when asked what was missing, Roommate admitted that there wasnt anything that they could think of

as i gave my therapist that weekly update, she decided Roommate’s unstable behavior was getting concerning enough that we miiiiiight want to start making plans to escape if we need to, since we couldn’t keep assuming that Roommate would be able to be reasoned with

therapist offered to take my cat Goose for a bit if we needed to move before we found a place for her

then one day Roomate just. left without saying anything. Lol

they didn’t say anything to any of their other friends either, they just. left the state. ppl were coming up to us for weeks following like “wait did u hear Roommate moved??”

Roommate had previously tried to get us to buy all their broken down furniture for like $3k. i had said i didnt want it, so when they left, Roommate just. lugged it all out to the curb jksdfhkjsd

we just brought the good stuff back inside obv, but it was so funny that they put in that much effort

Roommate left behind a polaroid of on old group pic, with Bestie and I’s faces burned out 👍 truly a hallmark of mental stability

the craziest thing is, i genuinely think Roommate always felt justified just doing just the most overtly hurtful behaviors, near constantly...yall should see the list that didnt make it to the internet lmao

so the moral of the story is... idek. if u think communicating is impossible for you, try practicing more. go to therapy. something

[knifearo]

beloved aro blog thank u for that response to the anon who didnt know how to tell if they were aro (it says asexual, but maybe that was a typo?). i generally use the aro label for myself because it fits 95% of the time but that 5% is when the doubt comes in and i feel like im "faking it." but that anon u answered has Cleared the Cobwebs of Doubt. youre Right. Amatonormativity is So Prevalent. the paragraph about wanting romance bc romance, or wanting romance bc society says u need a romantic relationship to get xyz thing from life Hit Me So Hard. i think i will come back to this post every time i feel Unsure about my label. so thank u for placing your words in that order for me. love loses. love wins. violence. have a great day homie

first of all. i'm ur beloved aro blog 🥺 nd yeah i do think it was a typo haha

second of all i'm so glad that it helped out for you :) the thing about amatonormativity is that you will constantly go "it can't be doing ALL of these things." but then it IS. EVERY TIME. you look up and amatonormativity is warping your ideas of self-worth and your plans for the future and your interactions with friends and family and holding society as a whole in a fucking vice grip and it's fucking. stealing your lunch money too. idk. that bitch. you know how it is. anyway that 5% is so real and you're so real for feeling it and it is NOT silly or cringe to take a few seconds in the bathroom mirror telling yourself "you ARE aromantic. and it's okay." if that's something that'll help. and also yada yada "aromanticism is not one uniform experience and arospec identities are valid and you can call yourself aromantic even if you experience romantic attraction sometimes as long as it feels like a label that's relevant to your experience" all the things that i'll say anytime someone is coming to me saying that they don't know if they're Really aro haha. just to get it out of the way. sounds like you've got stuff in a good place rn and i'm so glad that you're feeling that way :) hell yeah brother love loses!!!!! aromanticism forever and ever 🖤

[itsabea]

i'm in a dilemma and idk what to do :''))))

do yk my oc clio, the one i talked about lats time,

well i was planning on making her aroace bcs i thought it'd be cool representation and didn't want to ship her with anyone bcs not every oc should be shipped (bonk on my head bcs i fail that)

BUT THEN i had a fic idea about her and balor meeting in the capital by coincidence while they were both on their way to mistria and deciding to make the trip together (still haven't decided if they're gonna bond and be besties to rip each others throats)

now i can't stop thinking about them together and i hate it 😭😭😭 so much for representation shfkjtkzgztjatktjrjfjrqrhggz

oh. meh. GOODNESS!!

bro- pal- mate- IM aroace!!(and i will now yabber my tune about aroace vil-)

ok- so, first things first.

aro(aromantic) is the romantic label for people who feel little to no romantic attraction - and ace(asexual) is the same, but with sexual attraction.

i bold attraction because that's where most get confused and jump the gun- ATTRACTION AND DESIRE ARE NOT THE SAME THING.

you can be aro and have a romantic partner

you can be ace and have sexual experiences

the confusion usually stirs with misunderstanding - and while it's fully okay to misunderstand! - a lot of people tend to think that their misinformation is correct(when it's not)

so, here is my advice: research, and then make up your mind.

but as an aroace that someday wants to find a partner suitable for me, i personally think it would be great if your oc clio got together with balor :))

there's also a thing called being demi(sexual and romantic), it's like a sub class of ace/aro where you end up developing feelings over time once getting to know someone.

this is such a cool thing to get to talk about! and if you(or anyone else) has questions, i am more than happy to answer them to the best of my ability!

while i am aroace, please keep in mind that my experience is not universal. in my whole life i have only been romantically attracted to one irl person(and that was over a decade ago) and no sexual attraction to anyone irl so far - but other people will obviously have differing experiences.

overall, the choice is yours!

but remember that you aren't hurting anyone with an oc, and that you get to choose their fate, personality, and attractions :))

[talon-dragonbeast]

if I identify as something, but I feel like that identity also embodies my anger and fight response and makes me feel strong. does that mean it’s a copinglink? bc. I’m not necessarily doing it specifically to cope, but I can see how it can relate back to my trauma feelings? does that just mean it’s an origin of it? although not completely sure it is bc I’ve always been interested in this creature. hm. how do u know if you’re forcing an identity just bc u like and want to be that creature or if that is you?

i think you might me a little confused about what copinglink means. copinglink is a perfect synonym of otherlink, its a term for all identities that are consciously created. copinglink and otherlink are not something you are, they are something you do: the action of sitting down and deciding "okay, im going to put the effort of identifying this way". you cant accidentally become copinglink, its something you choose to be. and i know that the name implies it must be for coping reasons, but copinglinkers may choose their identities for any reason.

i think it comes down to: do you feel like that identity is a choice, as if you could just drop it whenever you want and it would disappear on its own? or is it intrinsic to you, like something you cant help being even if you tried not to?

i will give you the example of my unicorn kintype. its an identity that i labeled as quoiluntary (so not voluntary or involuntary), because even tho its intrinsic to me and i didnt choose to be it, if i stopped identifying as an unicorn the feelings would fade pretty quickly. i could stop being a unicorn if i wanted. in fact, i ignored this kintype for a long time, and i never felt like something was missing or that i was incomplete in my identity. but now that im actively accepting this kintype, i do feel happier for it.

you can use whatever labels you want of course. if you feel like copinglink accurately describes your experiences, then by all means go for it! the thing about labels is that you use them only if you feel like they could be helpful for you, not necessarily if theyre accurate. this is true for all kinds of labels btw: like if someone felt romantic attraction but felt like "aromantic" accurately described their relationship with romance, then whos to say they couldnt identify as aro? you can use a label for any reason whatsoever; and if someone gives you a hard time for it, bite them. literally just bite them.