#bc i get ppl like that all the time
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nvm all that ill delete it, i just had a bad day and was thinking abt some annoying stuff that happened on here before o(-(
#blabs#its not that i dont appreciate that a lot of ppl wanna see my art#its just that i am literally just some guy and i dont exactly know how to manage an audience#so sometimes id rather just go back into obscurity#i am well aware that itd make ppl upset that want to keep seeing my stuff#internet communities just arent good rn and i do not have the chops to deal with it#nor do i really want to#which is why i keep my stuff incredibly tame#but it feels limiting#even just saying that i half expect someone to show up like uhh what do u mean tame tf are u doing 🙄#bc i get ppl like that all the time#sigh#anyway
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also been thinking abt pooki with his cunty scarf💅
if my next drawing post isnt the comic update take me out back and shoot me like a sick dog
#ghost#this was a wip too and its mainly to keep that damn twitter algorithm from throwing me into the abyss if im not on every fukkin day#i got sonethin imma post on patreon bc christ sake ppl are paying me but otherwise no more fukkin around#my first time seeing him wit the scarf a 'slay queen' slipped out despite me never really fukkin saying shit like that AHA#ghost with the crustiest bloodshot eyes from getting 3 hrs of sleep bawling his eyes out in the shower and smoking 5 blunts#bc girl thats how it is#my art#fanart#ghost call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost mw2#ghost cod#mw3#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty modern warfare 3#put em all in there fuggit
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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"don't make it political!" .... what proportion of death and suffering must occur before politics are involved. if this isn't political, what is even the point of any politics, ever. of democracy. the words are "by the people for the people." if i am going to be left alone by my elected representatives to "figure it out" - to undergo damage, hardship, fear. what the fuck did i elect them for. what was their job. the entire point is that they handle this shit. this is why we were supposed to be electing leaders.
poverty is political. misogyny is political. gun control is political. climate change is political. how much aid a community gets is political. what the fuck are you talking about. it's been political this whole fucking time.
#to be deleted probably#i think aid should be REQUIRED to be bipartisan#ppl shouldn't suffer bc of how they vote. sorry. i'm never gonna be like ''ah yah x area deserves it''#..... they're people. they're human people. what the fuck is wrong with you.#this is nonspecific bc it's the same argument every time it involves things the right wing could have prevented#oh she died in childbirth bc of abortion laws? well nows not the time to make it#well he died bc his boss made him work during the tornado? well let's not make this#ohhh they died in a school shooting? thoughts and prayers let's all not make#there's a big fucking natural disaster that is strong evidence for oncoming ecological collapse?#welllllllll leTS NOT MAKE IT FUCKING POLITICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11#WHEN WAS THE TIME???????????#PREVENTION HAS ALWAYS BEEN BETTER THAN WOUND CARE.#> stabs u . oh sorry that wasn't political#but also good luck in the hospital good luck with insurance good luck with medicine#good luck with disability support good luck w/ur job and taking time off good lucK!!!#refusing to allow politics into the matter means they get to shrug their shoulders and absolutely#refuse any fucking ACCOUNTABILITY#THEN WHAT WAS THE JOB FOR??? WHY DID I GIVE THEM THIS JOB???#WHAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT OF ELECTED OFFICIALS
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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Polyamory is not inherently bad or toxic, it just has higher demands on time and energy to manage multiple relationships, which means people who would arguably struggle to manage an entirely mono relationship are going to struggle even more in a poly one, and due to the interlocking relationships and elevated public scrutiny, that’s going to be viewed as much messier than it would otherwise.
#my stuff#i usually let more eloquent reblogs articulate my thoughts but whagthever#i know and care abt several poly ppl. it’s not remarkable#one of the main reasons it gets so much flak is it’s just easier to be bad at it faster than being mono#like there’s constraints of time and money in energy in all relationships#and if you’re bad at managing that it’s gonna be way more obvious if you try to be poly bc you’ll fail way more dramatically#but in the exact same ways as if you were mono#it’s not special or enlightened or toxic or anything it just fucking IS
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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Try these out!
#my art#fan art#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#nandor the relentless#monster high#draculaura#mh g3#redrew an oldie#bc I didn't like it the first time and now I love it#she's older than him by like 900 years#but she's NICER and also not afraid to break societal norms that would prevent her from dating a certain group of ppl#and also they're friends#they probably wouldn't be friends#but i think they could talk about how lonely it can get. living for so long. until you meet the right group of people#i think they would tell anecdotes to each other. once Nandor got past the silly relentless warrior act. and she finally got to talk to-#someone closer to her age that didn't look down on her#idk man I just think about characters so much. I want them all to be buddies#AND ALSO THEYRE BOTH ASIAN YAY
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people act like being intentionally whimsical is inherently more annoying than being intentionally serious but why. suppose my temper is just naturally whimsical.
#idfk what 'unmasking' really is i think its a Lot Of Things but for ME#ive always been so loke obviously Developmentally Delayed in the sense that like.#my natural inclination is to behave in ways that people tend to read as very childlike. and#people either assume thats Disability or they assume its Affectation#generally. and often i suppress it. like#i go back and forth on this and i have done for years tbqh i distinctly remember being like 20#and thinking IF I FEEL THE URGE TO SKIP WHY SHOULD I NOT SKIP?#like if my natural inclination is. to move my body in ways that people are used to children moving their bodies#literally who cares?#SO WHAT IF IM HUMMING AND SINGING ALL THE TIME SO WHAT IF I DO A LITTLE TWIRL#or hop on and off things. or whatever! WHOMST CARES. FOR WHAT REASON DO I NEED PPL TO TAKE MW SERIOUSLY#AT THE GROCERY STORE?#anyway raise your hand if your Affect is Offputting to People.#the thing that ive realized getting older tho is like. often people also like this bc#they feel like it gives them permission to also behave in weird ways in public#and i like that its nice
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“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”
“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”
#txf#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#folie a deux#this episode … this EPISODE!!!!!!#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….#between mulder just . having to rely on scully for the last part of the ep#scully thinking he’s off his fucking rocker and still looking into what he asks her to look into bc she TRUSTS him . bc she LOVES him !!!!#and maybe he’s a little nuts but goddamnit she will at least check it out !! just in case he’s right!!!#AND she lies for him all the time . i mean she always does this whenever he decides to go nuts But specifically in this ep…#looks skinner in the eye and goes . yea man im totally fully with mulder on this . and he’s definitely not being weird and i definitely kno#what’s going on with him#she lies for mulder all the time its soooo…#anyways . drawing wise this drove me nuts i hate drawing mulder . he’s so hard for me to draw#they’re kinda kirie and shuichi coded in the bottom part but . well . why not . might as well be#ALSOOO i chose that quote for the bottom bc . well . does she think he’s crazy? like actually for real?#i feel like every time scully talks about mulder (up to season five at least as thats where im at) its contained in some way?#in her reports . to family . to skinner . to mulder !#i think the only time she’s Really honest is in the confessional but even then…#bc its not like she’s against speaking her mind . i mean generally and situational but for ppl she’s close to she usually isnt#but when it comes to mulder it always feels contained and like she’s making excuses for him (he is always her exception .#llike whenevrr he gets some disease or affliction or whatever she ALWAYS jumps to going ‘but well… sometimes there’s this excuse’ and she#does this w a lot considering shes science focused but w mulder shes always like . well he ISNT crazy because uhhhh .#this hyperspecific scenario that is in no fuckin way the case)#but does she think he’s crazy? does HE think she thinks he’s crazy?#is he asking about this specific case or is he asking in general? over the entirety of the show?#its been five years scully. is he crazy? sick? demented?#has this all been a sick fantasy fueled by mental illness? youre the doctor scully . surely you have the answer?#anyways i dont think she knows . and if that is the case — what does that mean for her?
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its post concepts for shits n giggles time, except it really is just me saying what if pearl could be more than just a moth. like moth pearl is cute but i think we can do other things too just to diversify the pool a little
except im also dnd pilled hence why moon elf. but its ok im frankly obsessed with the idea of werewolf pearl instead so we dont gotta worry abt how much i think about dnd
#pearlescentmoon#hermitcraft#fun fact i almost met her years before she joined hermitcraft bc she worked as a builder for some ppl i also worked for#and thats all the info on that youre gonna get <3 SGHGFDS#i dont like thinking abt that time much but it IS funny to casually say
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
#listen im only in episode two and i know there's some drama going down but im focusing on this lol#i love that not only do they show the angel using a wheelchair and being ambulatory#but they also visibly show them miracling innaccessibility issues so that they Can still use the chair#instead of just getting rid of the disability#part of my is conflicted bc im like... there's disabilities in heaven? and that makes Me sad bc my disability is hell and painful as fuck#But getting rid of disability in fantasy is eugenist crap and showing that god made a disabled angel is a net good thing#while it personally makes me sad to think if there was a heaven i could still be in pain all the time#not all disabilites are bad and need to be cured we're a wide spectrum and we've been fighting for disabled rep esp in fantasy for ages#it's objectively good my personal feelings about my own disability aside#part of me thinks it's cliche to say 'you were made perfect' bc they're an angel But it's not we literally havent had this type of rep lol#anyways it made me happy to see#and im so glad it's a power chair user that's ambulatory it's important for abled ppl to see that#anyways y'all keep your drama and spoilers off my post im not far in and im only talking about this shoo#oh also!! love the fantasy hover chair they use in heaven specifically too i wish we had that it kicks ass#p
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Went from being totally lost as a teenager to finding solace in aesthetics and fitting urself into a template in my late teens and now I think I struck a healthy intermediate where I know who I am as a person generally but I’m also completely subscribed to the idea of evolving and would never deny trying something just bc it doesn’t fit the image of myself I crafted in my head
#I rly want to spend a considerable amount of time just testing things and seeing how I like them instead of figuring out how they fit into#The jigsaw of my selfhood#Bc that’s the kind of self containment that keeps ppl from exploring who they truly r beyond what they associate w certain aesthetics that#Have already been done to death#Also part of this is accepting that I as a human have shifting opinions and may change my mind and so change the way I carry myself#I get sad when I see ppl label flexibility w how u conduct urself an identity crisis#This is literally why the well is so dry and nothing is new anymore#In reality ppl who invented the wheel just looked at things they liked and incorporated that into who they are and that’s how they became#Trends#like if you can envision a way it fits into ur head that’s all that matters#And if you allow urself the ability to change ur mind on things that’s so much the better#And an important skill to have in life actually
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How I feel about this and next week's dungeon meshi episodes
I'm already seeing people going at it and it's gonna get SO much worse next week when The Fight™ happens. I am so tired. I just wanna stare at my and marcille's hot dragon chicken wife. Is that too much to ask?
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#toshiro nakamoto#part of me is like eh whatever at a man getting the same treatment for getting 'in the way' of a wlw ship#that girls always get for 'threatening' an mlm ship#but at the same time HE'S NOT EVEN GETTING IN THE WAY OF ANYTHING?? BFFR RN THAT MAN IS NOT A THREAT TO FARCILLE let us all calm down#also i think the conflict between laios and toshiro is one of the best written conflicts where you understand both parties#and neither is fully in the wrong or right. and both of their experiences describe something marginalized people irl can deeply relate to#(autistic trauma on one hand and wheathering microagressions without speaking up bcs you don't want to Make A Scene on the other)#and i am NOT looking forward to seeing ppl flatten it into 'shuro's evil laios good bean' LET MY DUDES HAVE NUANCE
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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boys night
#quick warmup before i go to bed :3c maybe ill draw more of em tmrw#pls forgive any mistakes i wasnt really using a solid reference photo for this just stock meditation photos to get the legs and arms#guhhh i hate drawing poses like this with the elbows and knees bent towards the camera. but i need to practice#grips the sink and sighs#alex is shirtless bc honestly when is he not and also bc cosmo stole his shirt. heh#u know that thing ppl do when they get their nails freshly painted and all u can do admire em a little? yeah#what if we were both boys and you gently held my hand in a way i havent felt in a long time and carefully filed down and painted#my nails with such care and mumbled to fill the silence as i memorized the curve of your smile and your eyelashes sweeping your cheeks and#my art#myart#doodles#oc#stardew valley#sdv oc#sdv farmer#cosmo#sdv alex
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