#bc i actually am doing a lot better w/it now and am trying to make my own thing for potential portfolio work lol
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silusvesuius · 4 months ago
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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suffercerebral · 6 months ago
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months ago
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Orb...
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+ process kinda
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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cerealmonster15 · 4 months ago
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kaveh genshin is so relatable bc i too am in my mid to late 20s trapped in a people pleaser vortex of my own making and having. a hell of a time re: professional career
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section
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after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol
#speculation nation#itnl shit#spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol#not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably#ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him#but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm#before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it#which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier#the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries#this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan#just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/#no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical.#idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works#but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is#even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted#his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well#i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight#but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable#and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic#well that's just the reality he's gotta live#anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go
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koushirouizumi · 4 months ago
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{YU-GI-OH!} Duel Monsters ~ @.M.V ~ Y U U G I & {Ace-implied!}Y A M I {A t e m} [reading in {+A R O!}-Ace!Yami is also Fine] {Just please respect my own head-canons too!} ~ "Taking Over Me"
Summary: "You saw me M o u r n i n g my {xxxx} for YOU, and T O U C H E D MY H A N D..."
"...Just to F I N D Y O U--"
Music © E.v.a.n.e.s.e.n.c.e/Amy L e e
Spoiler Info: -Leads up to End of “DOMA” Arc's Y U U G I & Y A M I Duel {Anime-Only sequences; not included in original manga} -{Mainly} D.M. Only Eps -A single clip from the original 1st series opens it, but nothing else from it is included.
*Any Lip-sync'ng was unintentional {+Any similar Might be removed in any future remake}
Y U-G I-O H! © Kazuki Takahashi Y U-G I - O H! 1st Series {Show} © Toei Y u-g i-o h! Duel Monsters {Show} © Studio Gallop This is a FAN-WORK. No $$$ is being made off this work.
{@.M.V. by (Young) Me} {DO NOT RE-POST} {DO NOT COPY} {DO NOT RE-PRODUCE MY WORKS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION}
(Note: This is an OLD work {10+ yrs old}. and one of my last YGO D. M. ones of the timeframe; however, it was still very early on in my making of these type of work's when I finished this. The footage used will reflect this, as it was made before widespread transition into H.D. Footages. Please be understanding.) [There may be intent for me to remake it someday!]
Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr and/or Vimeo is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching the Direct link here!
{I am NOT taking new Requests [or making changes to this one] (+for this series) at this time. Please DO NOT Ask!}
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#koushirouizumi ygo#koushirouizumi dm#koushirouizumi yuugi#koushirouizumi own#ygo: dm#: ill GIVE you ALL MY MEMORIES#(o K SO IM GONNA TO MY BEST TO e XPLAIN HOW I INTERPET'D THIS ONE AS *I* MADE IT--- {I WAS STILL IN s CHOOL GIVE ME A bREAK---})#({Originally I was making these as small SERIES of @mvs BACK THEN} {even this one only had 'D R A M A' labelled as} {G e n r e})#({i.e. One would lead into another part covered by the next which may have included later arc's etc but they were IN GENERAL Stand-alones})#({This one is D.M. ONLY but contains just a bit more of the D0MA duel along with a bit more from the actual mid part w Yuugi})#(So in general Yes this was part of a {C h a l l e n g e} aimed @ Myself to try to make G O O D Ev@nescence ones or at least ATTEMPT to)#({Portray WELL} Which is what I INTENDED to do but mAN I HAD LIMITED FOOTAGES-- so I had to MAKE DO with what I HAD {+Reused some s IGH..})#({Thus a LOT of it ends up being D0MA but it sURPRISINGLY... DESCRIBED A LOT OF THE LYRIC... LIKE TO A POINT I WAS Negl Kinda ShockTM})#(So at first I take the lyric's LITERALLY&am portrayin like theyre LITERALLY JUST 'HAHA IM t AKIN OVERTM YOU gET IT' {S p i r i t s} etcetc#(Later On Tho . Once Yuugis gone and Y a m i is LITERALLY FALLIN APART {e MOTIONALLY---} I began Experimentin with footage&this is where I)#({a. LEARNT how to REVERSE TIME clips {y AMI transformin TO YUUGI} b. tried to time O.P footage much more effectively {door opening scene})#(after that however I decided reverse timeng was TOO MUCH EFFORTTM also bc it often CRASHED WMM&tried to nOT DO AGAIN UNLESS it made c OOL)#(o K SO Yuugi gets t AKENTM Literally&Y a m is Freakin Out as per usual this arc but is *d EVELOPING!!!*)#({A T E M!!} is RECOGNIZING own Feelings about+Accepting Self&FINALLY!!! beginning to understand {y UUGI} is {VERY q UEER} TOO)#({So by the Hand scene} {Yuugi is like} {'I dont know WHAT KIND OF'} {Yea} {this is but} {'I DONT c ARE'})#({Bc YUUGI IS LIKE THE MOST ACCEPTING S O U L IN THIS ENTIRE gdd AMN SERIES y UUGI DOESNT GIVE A sH*T HOW {A T E M} I. D.'s})#({YUUGI k NOWS!!! YUUGIs FEEL TOWARDS A T E M IS NOT LESSER EVEN IF IT *IS KEPT p LATONIC*} {BY THE E N D})#({So by the end Yuugi is} WILLINGLY ***LETTING*** {A T E M} 'Take over' not just LITERALLY VIA S P I R I T p OSSESSEDTM but ALSO)#({E M O T I O N A L L Y}+p OSITIVE'LY Theyre in S Y N C & they k NOW theyre gonna m AKE IT **EVEN IF** D0MA *HAS* YUUGI AT THE END-)#({I didnt have time to end it on a better f RAME but if I remake this yEA ILL ADD SOME k INDOF idek End card here TOO just to Emphasize})#({a NYWAY YEA I INTENDED TO TRY AT LEAST ONE MORE Yuugi & {A t e m} one even GENERALLY but NEVER GOT TO IT!!!} {aaaAAAAAA})#({So the very last one I ended up doin was YuuxJous 'Youll Be In My H e a r t' & there a TEM ALSO HAS INVOLVEMENT!!!} {***IS THERE***})#({JOU FACES A T E M TOWARDS THE VERY END AND IT SHOWS THEM ABT TO d UEL BC a TEM ACCEPTS JOU+YUUGIs FEELS FOR EACHOTHER *TOO*})#({A T E M!!! DOESNT GIVE A SH*T EITHER!!! HOWEVER THEYRE GONNA MAKE THE d YNAMICS WORK THEYLL DO IT t OGETHER})#({Using space's to keep out of S e a r c h} yEA s O Will fix that eventually tryin to see if e MBED'S HOLD NOW THAT I f IX'D {E N O U G H})
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gibbearish · 10 months ago
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Congrats on sending that application!
THANK UUUUUU
#it was to a dominos and my partner is a gm in training at a different branch and i have over a year delivery driving experience#already and know Exactly How Low Their Standards Are so im not worried about getting it‚ mostly just that my brain will still be too mushy#to handle a job again#but i mean since it is just dominos and im only aiming for part time it hopefully shouldn't be too bad#and i do not care if they don't like me bc my resumes already pretty good as is i don't need a glowing review from dominos#esp bc i could just put my bf down as a dominos reference and theyd probably just Assume i worked for him and call him#instead of the store i actually worked at KWNDLABFKSBFJD#which is v good bc having seen a lot of what goes on behind the scenes on the manager side via my bf. i already know i am#going to cause problems LMAO#i have the Transgender Working In Very Liberal Area Right Next To Very Conservative Area Protection Aura#wherein the bosses here are So Very Scared of getting in trouble for bigotry and want to look sososososo woke. that i can get away#with being way more blunt abt when shit sucks lol#bosses don't really know what to do when The One Openly Transgender One directly calls out unfair expectations to their face#and to be clear i do mean liberal as in Liberal we're still very much in the North Idaho Splash Zone so like#open bigotry doesnt happen and the public will be on your side if it does. but boy do they know actually nothing about it#you know the type i mean kwbfksbfkd#like the best example i can think of is a couple ppl at my last job still she/her'd me long after i started passing as male#and me Being A Transgender™ had made the news rounds#and my other coworkers wouldnt correct them and would just he/him and they/them me back#which im fine w bc thats how my pronouns work is just. idk whatever you think‚ if you wanna she me you can just look dumb LMAO#but crucially 99% of my coworkers Didnt know thats how that worked‚ they just knew im A Transgender and look like a man#and that everyone else didn't use she/her for me anymore‚ so like an actually left place would rightly assume#they were doing it deliberately to be shitty and correct them‚ whereas here theyre just like. ah im sure they just havent noticed#since you went by she/her when you started here#and its like no i dont think the beard i grew halfway through working there went unnoticed actually#given that Thats When The Universal He Himming Started#im rambling again sorry for this word avalanche irt a simple congrats i got distracted JEBFKABFKSBFKDBFMD#anyways. tyvm it was stressful and i still dont want to do it but its out of my hands now so i have to follow through and at least give it#a try and i appreciate the encouragement‚ it rlly did make me feel a lot better just seeing the ask#gibberasks
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relativelyfvcked · 1 year ago
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"basim isnt a warrior so be careful" is a funny way of saying "we didnt give a fuck about the combat so all of your controls feel unresponsive"
#parrying in all of the other games in this era were fine. what happened?#also this is basically an extended dlc and you can feel it in the writing. its such a nothingburger#its a stealth game where if you try to nudge your character they take 5 extra movements forward and get spotted immediately. very cool.#the parkour sucks and is now more restricted#what origins and odyssey did that felt so good was being able to pick your spot and go from there#ppl complain that there werent Any stealth elements but thats just how You decide to play it babey#i miss the Actual freeclimbing ability as in i'm not railroaded into using fucking handholds on long climbs. the parkour is simply not good#enough to do that nor is it interactive enough for me to want to be forced to do that#i'd like the setting more if the freerunning and climbing felt better ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#its next to impossible to get into a good grove. even to get one clean line without randomly jumping off or getting pulled to an unrelated#wall/object. it probably felt better in origins/odyssey because it was so much more open but still closed when in fortresses and such#also? the chain assassination suck. not nearly as fun as being able to chain your own actions#but all of this makes sense when you know that 1. this was originally a valhalla dlc and 2. it was made with the intention of being#ported to ipad. of all fucking things.#whatever i guess im just waiting for the next era cuz thats when the games end up being good again#pretty bummed. especially bc i played thru all of valhalla and didnt like it and am now going through basically an ac1 remake pasted onto#valhalla assets.#and tbh there isnt enough to do in a map this large even though its smaller. ik other people dont like fetch quests but it at least gives me#a reason to go to other areas where like. i havent even been outside the city bc it hasnt set me there. i dont want to just aimlessly wander#i have a lot of issues w this game but i'll shut up now
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ashleyisartsy · 7 months ago
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Problems (objective and personal) I'm not seeing discussed a lot w this new WatcherTV thing, in no particular order:
-Alienates people internationally who literally CANNOT GET the streaming service!
-Alienates casual fans who don't watch or want to watch all of their shows. Putting down 60 bucks a year to watch just one or two shows is kind of insane, at least for me.
-The volume of content Watcher has produced historically hasn't been enough to justify a separate streamer. I understand there's no way a small team could compete with something like Netflix, obviously, but that's what you're trying to do by putting yourself in the streamer market.
-Will this streamer be secure? What steps are in place to protect your viewers info? ESPECIALLY payment info.
-Will it be easily watchable on multiple devices? I watch YouTube videos on my phone at work 90% of the time, or at home on my TV thru my switch. Is this a browser only deal?
-What are the internet requirements for this? Believe it or not most streaming services won't run on my internet personally. I don't have any for that reason. I can watch YouTube on 360p, or on my 2-bar-reception phone data. Not everywhere has stable reliable internet.
-The suddenness and totality of the move was going to be jarring no matter what, if the idea had been introduced gradually or started as a hybrid model to test audience interest there wouldn't be nearly this amount of pushback.
-I understand the people saying "pay artists!!" Bc I am one, and I get that their quality is expensive and they have a whole company's worth of people to support. I do actually think their work is worth paying for! Everyone's is! But convincing anyone to pay for something they previously got for free is going to be a hard sell. They were still getting paid before, they're now just asking us to pay instead of the advertisers. Idk about you, but that's a way bigger hit to my pocketbook than a multimillion dollar company's bank account.
-I get that YouTube can be a really shitty place to be a creator sometimes, and that being beholden to advertisers is something they don't want to be. It's why they left Buzzfeed! They already have a patreon and merch and it's clearly not been enough for their ambitions. But shooting yourself in the foot because your running shoes are wearing out isn't going to make you a better marathon runner. They had to know that there was going to be a not small portion of their audience unwilling to make this move with them (and again, lots literally aren't able to!)
-If they had a free w/ ads option, or even did a hybrid model with whole shows behind the pay wall, or even just ran a fucking crowd funding campaign to help cover costs of new seasons of shows, any of those things could have worked. They don't even have YouTube memberships turned on, which I've personally seen many many channels do even when they already have a patreon. It really doesn't seem like they've exhausted other options, at least from an outside perspective, which is all we have as viewers!
-I get that this has been in the works for a long time, and that there probably isn't a way for them to back out now. But I hope they can find a way to make this more accessible if they want it to work at all. I truly am not wishing for their downfall, but the whole situation is an awful mess.
Idk, rant over. As a lot of you are I'm feeling very disappointed and upset with this one, and I'm not paying for it either. Hope the boys can salvage this one for their and their crew's sake. Would really hate for this to be the end.
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melodic-haze · 5 months ago
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REQUEST: A reader much more powerful than Arlecchino and not doing anything about it.. except in bed.
☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader
☆ — TYPE: NSFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Mention of bloodplay at the very end but like. Very minor. Otherwise there's nothing 🤷‍♀️
☆ — NOTES: I'M NEVER TOUCHING MY DRAFTS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP EVER AGAIN I'M SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this was kinda bad dawg am sorry 😞
☆ — PARTS: Part 1, Part 2 (you are here)
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Tall AND powerful??? Ohhhh she's gonna die you KNOW I had to mix it hahaahahha powertrip goes CRAAAAZYYYYYY I have such a thing for it I'm gonna cry
Anyway ok so I would like to first state that extremely powerful chrs that don't actually do a lot w their power is like one of my top fav tropes it's so fucking funny 😭 like dawg you have the power to change the world wdym you're just gonna sit here like it's summer vacation (there's a reason why my Akivilicarnation au exists (even though I gotta work on it one way or another))
This is rather different from the stuff I usually write bc I usually write the reader as. Kinda weak for the sake of putting us all on a powerscale between the chr and our average strength as a human being omg bare with
Okay so. I do feel like she'd be a tad bit frustrated with you, at least at first. Like you could do so much more than what you're showing and yet here you are, not using your strength for important stuff? Lazy bitch, her children are much better than your example 💀 at least, that's her initial take, really
But give her a demonstration, both in a time of need and yk ☺️☺️☺️, and she'll soften up
Anyways it's just the fact that you're both tall AND powerful??? Nevermind her doing anything, she'll find herself dazedly thinking of the ways in which you can quite possibly manhandle her with such brazen 'disrespect'......and also? In the ways you two can actually COMPETE. Or well, 'compete', esp when she finds herself actually WANTING to lose for once. Crazy, how the great Knave would actually prefer to lose compared to the usual want to win against her opponent
You sighed, "I know we talked about it two days ago but do we have to? Really?"
"I would like to test you. Unless you would rather skip such pleasantries?"
"I don't think fighting until one of us surrenders counts as 'pleasantries'. Quite the opposite, actually."
While you've always known Arlecchino to constantly have a stony expression that doesn't usually change, you see the bright crosses of her eyes dim just a fraction, "So I suppose that's a no, then?"
"Well, now," you stepped back with an amused look on your face, getting into the fighting stance you're familiar with, "I didn't say that... Especially not when the reward is something I really want."
And she gains that glow once again as she brandishes her weapon with a fraction of a smile and.. something else much more heated behind those eyes of hers, "Do not get ahead of yourself, my beloved. The results have yet to be concluded."
..She speaks as if she hadn't actually wanted to lose. Laughable, really.
(You know from the way that at the end of it all, she lies underneath you as her eyes scan you with that same heated look in her eyes—lust, a sin in which The Knave hadn't thought of ever committing.. until you came along.)
The whole thing about her being able to reverse your positions? THROW THAT TO THE FUCKING WIND IN THIS SITUATION you can easily EASILY fold her without a care in the world. The fact that she KNOWS you can too gives her a rush she hasn't ever felt without that extra layer of threatened rage
Push her up against the wall, hold her up in the air, pin her down so she can't squirm away..........if you're much more powerful than her, she actually makes a show of 'trying' to escape you. Keyword: 'trying', especially when at the end of the day she resigned herself to losing already
She tells you not to hold anything back, no matter how cautious you are. She says she can handle it, that she isn't strong without reason, that she can endure whatever you give her, no matter what. Usually she kinda ends up forgetting anything she's said though, especially when you're fucking her SOOO hard she starts seeing stars behind her eyes
If your strength applies to endurance too??? Ohhh bye she's not lasting. Like okay she definitely has stamina and endurance but against you? SHE'S QUITE LITERALLY DWARFED....BYE.........
In some way, she actually likes the fact that you don't show your power other than in private with just the two of you—it makes her feel special, to know exactly what you're capable of. Dare I even say she's a tad bit possessive over every side of you? Who can say 😜
Just think that whenever she kinda stands beside you in public w her heels on, she's very very VERY easily reminded of the fact that you tower over her in height, capability AND position.......and really, in comparison to what everyone else may think? Arlecchino wouldn't have it any other way 🫶
....oh side note, just think about how rough you can go, biting each other to the point where you draw blood. Sorry I had to get that final bit out ANYWAY
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staraxiaa · 4 months ago
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sunflowers, the afterword:
author's corner/first thoughts.
okay. so. i am insane. i am a god. i just wrote 18k words for a fic that i thought of, planned, and created fully in less than two days, bc someone said i like to make ppl suffer and yes i do. but then i was like, i am GOING to write fluff and i took it personally. to that one reader, thank you!! anyways. i wrote this with the intent of using the prompt "you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" and barely even ended up using it. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. i hope it doesn't flop but also it's okay if it does bc i literally spent almost 48 hours brainrotting and word vomiting like it's out of my brain now and this feels glorious. it was random unfiltered thoughts and grinding away at 3am until i am empty. no thoughts left in my head. can you see? i could eat the world raw, the itch has been scratched. the sheer amount of motivation i had w this fic is never happening again. cheers! will update as i think of things! sorry to anyone who ends up reading this fully. i have been unreasonably fixated and have brainrotted over this for two hours, inclusive of sleeptime. while sleeping. i kid you not. i would wake up and something would click and i would hop over to the laptop and fucking grind away i am so sick of myself
unwritten scenes, headcanons
you guys are 20. you haven't started dating yet. you're a doctor. you guys are yelling at each other. you say 'you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.' katsuki's so angry that he does. ⇁ this was the original ending btw but i thought this one kinda fit better he brings you sunflowers sometime. real ones. he's sneezing all the while. you take one look at him and you die of laughter. he's still sneezing. you tell him: you know i actually didn't even care about them until i found out you were allergic. ⇁ if i could write nsfw i would do it here like dude do u see the vision omfg a whole side plot where he's like what the fuck do you mean you weren't dating deku. you're like. what the fuck. are u stupid. someplace where you actually address how you treat midoriya, his lack of a quirk, and how you stood by and watched it all happen ua sports festival. you kick everyone's ass. #you have been trained by eraserhead and you are super duper cool i also don't remember if i included this, but: your mother asks you after the first evening. "you're not really friends are you." you say: "nope!" and it is the happiest she has ever seen you. the ua boys try to flirt with you and get hurt really stupidly a lot on purpose. you wonder why they've stopped showing up. it's bc katsuki gives them a whole earful. and you're like bitch what the fuck im a doctor and and hes just tsundere about it first kiss scene instead of the ending where he's like you care and you're like of course i do??? what the fuck?? are u stupid?? you guys start yelling at each other and you're both acting like ur 2. he calls you stupid and blind. you call him ugly. he's so mad he literally just lurches forward and kisses you. it's awkward and messy and you guys are so mad at each other. you literally headbutt him in the face. ah young love. ⇁ this was another alternative ending more exploration behind reader's character, her insecurities, and about some of the stuff i info dumped before the start of the katsuki povs? i feel like i didn't handle that as well as i could have, but i also didn't want to go on 10 billion tangents for things that had very little relevance to the story. i also think the transition to the last scene was a little abrupt, but tbh at that point i was just so ready to call it like. i just didn't see the point. i think it would have made for a more natural reading experience, so here's the tea: he's proud of u but u guys are angsty and ignore each other until after training camp. [more brainrot pining moments]. if i had to write the above scene, i think i'd do something along the lines of: you're first aid relief at the sports festival, not actively participating. dunno if you'd be nearly as badass, though. you definitely get pissed when they muzzle katsuki and probably get rly mad but ofc u cant show it. so u just unmuzzle him and walk away and hes staring after u. this is ur ??? elsa arc? i dont remember the disney princess. the training camp is torture. aizawa makes u run with them. you tell him straight up that u hate his guts. he grins like that is the best thing anyone has told him in his life. katsuki definitely blows up some earth monsters for u. but while ur not looking. he's angsty like that. the bath scene? oh lord u just know he blows mineta up. maybe he lowk fucks it up too and you have to heal it! the potential HAHAHA. i dont know how you end up getting kidnapped, but id probably just bullshit a reason like ur the #1 healer in the world hurr durr and afo wants u! idgaf if the plot makes sense or not this is entirely secondary to my scheming. katsuki just about loses it when he hears you're one of the targets -> how you get kidnapped? idk. you're not a remedial student, so you're probably participating in the game (odd number of ppl right). unsure of how i'd handle the news of your kidnapping: just know katsuki loses it again. for like the 5th time. yipppeeeeee
character notes, thoughts
your quirk is literally just you take people's injuries into your own body and heal it yourself. you're superhuman. i put 2 thoughts into this: 1) you're a healer and 2) i like cool characters. congratulations. you have now been born. i don't even remember if i kept the shouto scene. but anyways i think my bias was showing. just had to throw him in there. also the kuroo mention. sorry i'm totally normal and i mean it ⇁ btw i love you all (everyone who likes/interacts with my fics) but i joke to my friends everytime someone interacts w my first bakugo/midoriya ones from lacuna bc guys!!! my shoto fic is RIGHT THERE!!! the baby that launched the entire collection. please show him some love this reader is probably one of the favorite ones i have written, more of an oc at this point i think, and i wasn't expecting her to grow on me so much. but lowk i love her and am so proud of the way i wrote her growth!! i do feel like i wrote her very soft, but i hope her flaws were made very clear⏤ she is meant to be a sort of unreliable narrator, so she also is overly critical of her own, but there were several things that were not addressed as i was writing, particularly concerning midoriya. (quirk, the bullying, bystander's guilt.) however, i think that including them would have made me go off on a tangent, and detract more from the main point of the story i also do think i wrote katsuki a little ooc, if only because i didn't see the point of including what's already there in canon. sorry. my brainrot did not extend that far, and by the end of this, i was literally ready to drop. his perspective isn't meant to be all-encompassing (in the story, it may seem like it purely bc of how i paced it) but those are meant to be like. random thoughts that appear in several scenes. reader does not have bakugo living rent free in her head 24/7, and neither does he. they're just stupid and pining and i just wrote all the moments in my head where they do.
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fairyhaos · 1 year ago
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how seventeen deal with your period cramps
requested by anon: "Would it be ok for you to write : How would Seventeen react and help with bad period cramps ? (I am currently on my period and its killing me... I can barely stay up, cramps are hurting as hell, I have nausea, hell I feel the worst...)"
notes: tw for menstruation pain, reader therefore has a uterus
masterlist
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seungcheol:
tbh he's kinda a little bit Clueless, but he tries his best. cannot fathom the amount of pain you're in, but he does his research and immediately jumps up to boil water for a hot water bottle the second you tell him you're on your period. is confused by the idea of pre-menstrual syndrome n thinks that it's very unfair: bc you can be in pain???? even before the actual menstruation itself???? that sounds terrible :((( always has his arms open for a hug
jeonghan:
spots its arrival better than you. can tell when your period is coming like some sort of seer. has a cupboard full of chocolates and snacks which he stocks up constantly and allows you to take your pick of whatever you feel like having when you're on your period. insists that you don't have to do anything while you're going through the worst of your cramps, tells you to just lie down w the hot water bottle he made for you n he'll do whatever you need okay? 
joshua:
you Need to tell this man whenever your period starts bc otherwise he'll get upset that his calendar is all messed up :(( i firmly believe shua is the typa guy to keep track of your schedules for you, even if your cycle isn't regular. does Everything you want. you wanna eat a whole tub of Celebrations? he's rooting for you. need to cry bc the world is just too frustrating? tell him what movie you wanna cry to, he'll stream it illegally if that's what it takes. will probably also end up crying w you, but hey, we love a supportive guy <3
junhui:
curses the menstruation gods every time you tell him you're having cramps again. is essentially trying to stuff you full of painkillers the entire day bc he hates the idea of you being in pain </3 wanted to buy one of those period cramp simulator machines to see how bad it was for you, ended up chickening out when you told him vv seriously that it was like being thrown into the pits of hell. isn't allowed near the kettle to boil water for you (due to previous Mishaps), so he'll give you a pillow to put over your stomach and hug you in his arms for warmth
hoshi:
is confused for all of two seconds every time you tell him you're having rlly bad cramps (again?? didn't you have them last month??) before it clicks in his head. coos and baby-talks to you, offering his shoulder for you to sleep on if the physical contact will help. builds you a pillow fort to get comfortable in practically every single time. you had a really bad headache one month, and so now he's constantly talking in a hoarse whisper when your cramps are bad
wonwoo:
he's not Entirely sure what to do, but he does know that period pain can often manifest itself in mood swings, so he's always extra caring and considerate around your time of the month. will Let himself be yelled at if you do end up getting frustrated, then will hug you and pat your hair to help you calm down after. makes hot water for all the hot water bottles that you're ever gonna need. 
woozi:
makes sure you take your painkillers on time, and also makes sure you eat. he's heard from his mom that loss of appetite can happen often during periods, especially when cramps are bad, and so he encourages you to eat foods with lots of magnesium and nitrates in it. will hug you if the cramps are really bad and you're practically crawling to him in tears. will probably hug you even if you're only pouting and talking in a sad voice tho, tbh. 
minghao:
he researched that milk chocolate and white chocolate increase cramps pain, and so now he only ever gives you dark chocolate that's 60% cacao and above. has encouraged you to take up meditation when you're not on your period, saying it'll help strengthen you. you're still not entirely sure it's working, but then again, it's better to try than not. swaddles you in fluffy blankets and cushions bc seungcheol stole the hot water bottle to help with his indigestion or something
mingyu:
he's a lil confused, but he means well. carries you bridal-style everywhere you wanna go. searched up the types of foods best to eat to help with period cramps, and cooks food with lots and lots of spinach in it. regardless of whether you like it or not, because it's good for you and makes you feel better. spoon-feeds you the soup he makes, asks if it's making you feel warm inside with his adorable bright eyes
dokyeom:
has a little corner in the bottom of his wardrobe full of sanitary pad packages, bc one time he panicked when you asked him to buy you some and practically cleared the whole shelf of them. also has like 3 boxes of chocolates stacked on top of them bc of that same time where he panicked and ended up buying too many. as a result, always has supplies whenever you need them. is a little clueless too, but he's willing to help w lots of hugs and warmth!! 
seungkwan:
Knows your menstruation cycle for you. frets if you're a few of days early or a few of days late. if you have an irregular cycle, then oh god he's analysing everything to see if there's any sort of pattern. ngl he's a little nervous of you when you're on your period, but he's always ready to open his arms for you to draw you in for a hug if you need. starts crying if you end up crying bc of the pain/ mood swings, bc he's an empath okay n he feels your pain so bad
vernon:
i get the feeling he's like. the hidden pro at dealing with cramps. you tell him that you're hurting, and he's already boiled the kettle to make you a hot water bottle, arms laden with snacks and blankets and do you wanna come into his room to relax and watch the new movie he's fixated on or do you wanna just go to your room by yourself and sleep? big encourager of sleeping through cramps, bc he swears it helps so much and actually. he is so right it really does
chan:
went through like five different brands of paracetamol with you during your previous cramps to see which one was the best n lasted the longest. steals the expensive chocolates from mingyu's stash bc really, the guy has far too much and it's more deserving to go to you when you're in pain and also pls share w him as a thankyou for getting them for you. offers to run you a bubble bath to help you relax, often forgets about the bath while he's doing other stuff and almost makes it overflow
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nats-revival · 10 months ago
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Jealous and possessive abby - not in a toxic or abusive way but maybe you guys went to a party and your ex or some random decided to act up and be crazy and start hitting on you when everyone knows you're hers so she starts getting protective and marking her territory - she never blames you for it but she just wants to remind you who you belong to so she feels better with your consent if course and you find it hot asf
𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 | 𝙖. 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣
pairing: abby anderson x afab!reader
tags: alcohol consumption, mild language, theres a gross man, abby is possessive (per the request), i think that should be everything???, i still stuck at tagging
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a/n: was lowkey stuck on this prompt bc i don’t remember the last time i did smth like this but also, i procrastinated like, a lot. tbh i don’t rlly ever proofread anything i write i just post it with a hope and a prayer but wtv! i hope yall enjoy this. 🤍😙😙
bodies filled the house you and abby were currently in. the air smelled like alcohol, sweat, and a mixture of cologne and cheap perfume. this wasn’t particularly your scene, but abby wanted to go since one of her friends were hosting the party. you sorta stood on the wall, nursing a cup of.. something abby mixed for you. she wanted to prepare your drink herself. yknow, cause people are weird and like dropping shit in your drink without your knowledge. the screen of your phone illuminates your features softly under the red and purple LED lights. nobody dared to bother you much because everyone knew you were abbys girl. god, she never shuts up about you! but it’s only because she loves you so much. she also did it because she wanted to make your relationship known, and she’d gladly knock the lights out of anyone who dared to approach you cause she didn’t play that game.
the necklace around your neck had her initial on it. she’d gifted it to you during valentines day last year. it glints a little from the light coming from the screen of your phone. you’d been mid sip when some piss drunk man came stumbling over to you. and suddenly your settings app looked interesting as hell! he stops infront of you with a woozy smile and a flushed face from drinking. lowkey, he was like, really ugly. he’s the kind of guy a girl would only fuck in the dark. “what’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?” he asked as he looked you up and down with obviously lustful eyes. “ah, im.. actually not alone. im here with someone.” you say as you give him an awkward smile and a chuckle. “i don’t see ‘em. why dontcha come with me? we could go back ‘t my place.. maybe order somethin’ to eat.” you politely decline and give him another awkward smile. while trying to ward this man off, you text abby.
“theres some guy over here flirting w/ me, help!!” you text her while trying as much as possible to ignore the man. he was relentless! he just wouldn’t stop talking and making gross comments. you look up from your phone to find your girlfriend pushing her way to you, through the couples grinding against eachother and making out. she smiles as she approaches you, then wrapping her arm around your shoulders. you lean against her. “so, who’re you?” she asks as she looks at the man, then tossing him an icy glare. “who am i? why should i answer you?” the man had a raised eyebrow and he’d been holding a now empty cup. “well, cause you’re hitting on my girl. so you should probably tell me why you’re doing all this.” her voice was low, raspy and a bit threatening. her possessiveness was dumb attractive, and you surely felt a little hot!!! “hah, this is your girl? she’s outta your league, bro. just give ‘er up. ill treat ‘er soo much better.” the man had become bold. abby didn’t like that. “mm.. nah. she’s fine with me. aren’t you, baby?” she asks as she looks at you. you nod with a small, stupid smile on your face. she presses a kiss on your forehead before she looks back at the man.
her touch had lingered on your skin even when you knew she wasn’t touching you. she sits on one of the chairs with a sigh and you sit next to her. “god, people are so disgusting!” abby said as she lets out an exasperated sigh. she hated when people treated you that way. but you just couldn’t seem to forget that voice she spoke in. the raspiness made this sorta electricity shoot through your veins. she was rambling about something, but you’d began listening when she’d been nearly finished speaking “—that shit wasn’t okay, and nobody should be treating my girl like that. i mean, gosh, some people just really can’t take a hint can they? i was so close to punching him just like id done that other guy but i controlled myself. and, ill just say, it isn’t your fault. i just really don’t like that. you don’t deserve that. not at all.” her voice softens towards the end of her sentence as she places her hand on your thigh gently.
your hand finds itself over hers and you smile at her. “sometimes you gotta punch people for ‘em to understand, yknow?” abby says as she looked at you with the same softened gaze. “abby, no, i will absolutely not be punching anyone… that’s what i have you for. and you hit like, waaaaay harder.” you chuckled. “well, maybe i should show you how to hit real hard.” you shrug, and she smiles at you, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. “how bout we get outta this shithole?” she suggested with a smile. “oh, yeah. let’s go. im literally starving!” the both of you nod as you begin walking off the porch. as you walk to the sidewalk, the guy from earlier comes running and stumbling out of the house. he was after abby. you noticed and alerted her. “oh shit, we’d better run!” she grabs your hand and the both of you run to her car, giggling and looking back at the man (whos running slow as a snail) and forward at her car.
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eddiediazismyhusband · 3 months ago
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just a caual reminder that eddie does not need to kiss, date, or sleep with anyone other than buck to make his queerness any more valid
queer characters don’t need to hookup a bunch of times and date around before settling down because queer people irl don’t have to do that either
there are other ways a character can “let loose” and blow off steam than just throwing them into a hookup plotline, and doing so with eddie would just rehash the buck 1.0 plotline and would be lazy writing
not to mention it being yet another roadblock for buddie canon
like ik it can be frustrating to see the writers refusing to give eddie any care within the story and giving him some sort of happy arc, but that doesn’t mean that the only way he can be happy is by simply dating a man… just like how bt isnt narratively satisfying, eddie dating a random man isn’t going to be narratively satisfying either… i want queer eddie as much as the next person and honestly, if it had been a few seasons ago maybe i wouldn’t be as apprehensive to this kind of arc, but this show isn’t going to last forever… i don’t want them to keep dragging buddie out convoluting the plot by bringing in more li’s for both of them just because the fans are “okay with stepping stone relationships”
we’re entering season 8. we’re entering the 7th year of buddie being a ship. we don’t have time nor need for stepping stone relationships anymore. i know that jealousy and mutual pining arcs are enjoyable, but atp anything prolonging them getting together is just risking us never getting buddie… i don’t want a repeat of s6 where they wind up with shit engame li’s bc they wasted too much damn time dragging their feet and giving them these rando love interests
we also run the risk of fans jumping ship again if eddie were to get a male li that isn’t buck because there are so many people out there who (like w bt) just wanna see eddie kiss a man and once they get that, they’ll ditch the buddie ship, and we’ll once again find ourselves struggling to stay afloat
yes ik this show is a drama, ik slowburns thrive off drama, but this slowburn has been building since s3 (arguably s2 for some of us) it has been beyond enough time for them to keep it a slowburn; they need to actually go through with it now rather than continuing to bait us bc Ryan and Oliver both deserve better storylines to play than that.
i am obviously trying to remain cautious and will not trust the writers to handle things well until they do, but it doesn’t help our cause to be suggesting storylines this late in the game that will only serve to convolute the plot even more than it already is at this point. these tropes are amazing in fics that have no set end date, but 9-1-1 as a show is not going to run forever— we don’t even know if we are even going to get a 9th season yet. This could very well be our last opportunity to get buddie canon, and cheering on plotlines that would push buddie canon even further back on the roster is only going to dilute our chances even more.
i say this with love, not with spite, but i have seen a lot of people wishing for/posting about how they hope to see these storylines play out and i’m here to say we are not in a position for any of these anymore, and that’s just the unfortunate reality of a show entering its 8th season in a television environment where shows are lucky to get past 2 or 3 seasons.
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crucifiedfaerie · 1 year ago
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Kylo Ren — SFW Alphabet
no warnings, just lots of fluff and lil bit of angst !! however, just bc its SFW, doesn't mean i want minors interacting w this, BEGONE !!! TO THE GLUE TRAP YOU GO !
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— AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?)
in the beginning of your relationship, affection was very scarce. kylo wanted so badly to open up to you more, but was too afraid to, so when he would catch himself getting too close or too affectionate he would pull away and become that cold and calculated kylo again who you knew all too well. when he did finally admit his feelings, he couldn't get enough of you, as if he were making up for all of the lost time he spent pushing you away.
"i cant believe i waited so long to do this, what a fool i am."
— BEST FRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?)
the only hc i have for you as best friends would be if you grew up together in jedi training... and you guys would fuck w each other CONSTANTLY. like practically bully each other, it's all in good fun though. luke would refer to the two of you as partners-in-many-crimes because of the several messes you'd make doing stupid shit. one time ben almost burned the hut down because you dared him to light fireworks outside of luke's window while he slept. bad fucking idea.
"you idiot, he's going to kill us, you know?"
— CUDDLES (how do they like to cuddle?)
kylo loves holding you. his favorite is when your head is on his chest because it makes it easy for him to play with your hair. he also loves being the big spoon, wrapping his strong arms around your small frame. in those moments you were a tiny, precious thing that he wanted only to love and keep safe.
— DOMESTIC (thoughts on settling down? how would they be helping out around?)
kylo wanted nothing more than to make you his and his only forever. despite how kylo treats literally everyone else, he is a very doting partner and has a huge soft spot for you and only you. he's better at helping with cooking than he is cleaning. anytime he would try to clean, he'd never do it right or fully and you'd end up telling him to stop and do it yourself lol.
"what do you MEAN i'm not doing it right?!"
— ENDING (how would breakups go?)
its simply not happening. if he broke up with you, he didn't actually mean it and said it out of anger in the heat of the moment. if you broke up with him, he would probably lose his mind. his cold façade would shatter into a million pieces and he'd promise he would change, do better, do whatever it was you needed him to do. you were his and the mere thought of anyone else ever having you filled him with insurmountable rage and sadness.
— FIANCEE (how do they feel about commitment?)
kylo is devoted to you wholeheartedly. being his empress and ruling over the first order by his side would only solidify that.
— GENTLE (how gentle are they?)
when he isn't being a freak, he handles you as if you are made of glass. a pretty, precious thing that could break at any moment. if you fall asleep next to the fireplace, he will pick you up and carry you to bed, making sure the blankets are tucked around the both of you in the way you like, so you don't wake up cold in the morning.
— HUGS (do they like hugs? what are their hugs like?)
kylo loves hugging you, and you love hugging him. bc of his height, you are dwarfed by him and his hugs feel like getting tightly wrapped in a large, warm blanket. usually he just bends down to hug you, but sometimes he picks you up.
— I LOVE YOU (how long does it take for them to say the L word?)
again, kylo is terrified of showing weakness, so in the beginning of your relationship he's very cold towards you. every time he was around you he had to fight the strong urges telling him to be honest with you. after a long while, he did finally say it though. he was so nervous when he first said it, his eyes scanning your face for a reaction and his palms sweating. now he reminds you that he loves you all the time, especially if he's going out on a mission and won't be back for a couple weeks.
"don't look so sad, my star. i love you, you know i always come back to you."
— JEALOUSY (how jealous do they get?)
kylo is as jealous of a man as you can get. the mere thought of someone trying to take you from him fills him with a rage that rivals the fire of a thousand suns. one time he heard a guard having very loud, impure thoughts about his empress so kylo killed him. you have always been much more passive than he is, so you were not happy to see that he had killed someone on your living room floor.
"but my love- his thoughts were so loud! what else was i supposed to do?!"
— KISSES (do they like kissing? what are their kisses like?)
kissing you is kylo's favorite past time. if you both are out and his helmet is on, all he's thinking about is getting home so he can kiss you. sometimes if no one's around, he will lift his mask up just enough so it only exposes the bottom half of his face so he can get a quick kiss or two or eight in. his kisses are warm and never fail to send tingles down your spine, and you always say kylo tastes of cinnamon and smoke. to him, you taste of summer fruit.
— LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?)
he's indifferent towards other peoples children, thankfully he's less harsh on them than adults, but he isn't pleasant to them either. one time he blew up on a servant boy that was no older than eleven, and you scolded him afterwards. "he's just a child kylo, don't be so hard on him." he has such a soft spot for you and admires the empathy you have for others that he will never have. he promised you he would try to be a little nicer. yours and his children however, he treats as well as he treats you. they are an extension of his beloved, after all. i hc that kylo is a wonderful father, making sure they receive the fatherly love he never got.
— MORNINGS (how do your mornings with them go?)
sometimes on busy days, he's gone by the time you wake up. you always look so beautiful and peaceful when you're sleeping, so he doesn't dare wake you up. instead he kisses your head and whispers that he loves you and that he will return shortly. he knows you can't hear him, but he likes to tell you anyways. on days he doesn't have to leave so early, you stay in bed together. kissing, cuddling, talking, other things. kylo is content doing anything as long as it's with you.
— NIGHTS (how do your nights with them go?)
this is a sfw post, therefore i cannot describe how your nights with kylo would go lmao. please refer to the nsfw abc's. afterwards though, kylo is a doting partner that takes care of you, cleaning you up and tending to every single mark he left on your body that he worships so much.
— OPEN (how open are they? when will they tell you more about themselves?)
the first few months of your relationship is like dating a brick wall, it is not easy getting kylo to open up. once he does though, he makes sure not to hide anything from you anymore. it took a lot of work and patience, but he loves and trusts you wholeheartedly.
— PATIENCE (how patient are they with you?)
kylo has a temper, and he tries so hard, but he does have slip ups sometimes. any time he blows up on you though, he apologizes immediately. you know he loves you because he absolutely hates admitting he was wrong.
— QUIZZES (how much do they remember about you?)
everything. every detail, every like, every dislike, your favorite color, your favorite flower, your blood type, your fears, hopes, and dreams. this man remembers EVERYTHING about you. at least fifty percent of his brain is an archive of facts about you.
— REMEMBER (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
the first time you told him you loved him. it was the first time anyone told him they loved him, and you made him feel like he was ben again. he used to be so scared of being that boy he tried so hard to kill, but you held that part of him so tenderly, that he knew he'd be an absolute fool to try to push that away.
— SECURITY (how protective are they of you?)
kylo protects you with his own life and would kill thousands for you, despite your disdain for unnecessary violence. you are the most important thing to him, and he would have to be dead before he let anything happen to you.
— TRY (how much effort do they put into dates/special occasions?)
kylo ren has an ungodly amount of rizz and i stand by that. this man buys you your favorite flowers, he sets up candlelit dinners, he watches the sunset with you, he makes you personalized playlists like every other fuckboy except he doesn't send it to seven other women. whether you're his empress yet or not, he treats you like royalty. @enviedear and i also have a hc that kylo is the type of guy to pick out your nail polish color for you, and then buy a tie to wear that matches.
"you'd look so heavenly in this shade of red, my star."
— UGLY (what is a bad habit of theirs?)
kylo has an awful temper and is prone to outbursts. he tries SO hard to not have a temper with you, but everyone makes mistakes. he always apologizes to you though. i also hc that kylo is a nail biter, idk it just makes sense ?? that man is a caged animal and emotionally damaged, he definitely has anxiety.
— VANITY (how insecure are they? what are they insecure about?)
our poor babygirl is sooo insecure about everything, no matter how much you tell him how beautiful he is. your loving words of affirmation always make him feel a little better though.
— WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?)
without you, kylo would return to the broken, shell of a man he was before you. if he somehow lost you, hundreds of innocent lives would be lost due to the rampage he'd go on.
— XTRA (a random headcanon about them)
another hc that liv and i came up with was kylo's and ben's music taste. kylo listens to typical male manipulator music like radiohead, the smiths, and deftones with some angrier shit like slipknot and korn. ben is a different breed of male manipulator that listens to the weeknd and pulls up blasting solo by future. we also hc that both cry alone to lana del rey.
— YUCK (what are some things they dislike?)
anything and everything that isn't you. his least favorite thing though, is when he can hear people's rude or impure thoughts about you. he hasn't told you this, but he's killed at least fifteen people for doing just that.
"personally, i think fifteen isn't enough."
— ZZZZ (what are their sleeping habits like?)
for the first few months of your relationship, he did not sleep around you. you were convinced he didn't sleep... like ever. after he became more vulnerable with you though, he would. you love how peaceful he looks when he sleeps. i also hc that sometimes he gets terrible, vivid nightmares that he wakes up crying from :(
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