#bc he kissed women in the show
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comas-are-for-sleeping · 1 year ago
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my toxic trait is wanting to call ed nygma the f slur
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bitchthefuck1 · 5 months ago
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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possamble · 5 months ago
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AHA thank u i was mostly just. frantically pulling the "no hetero" card bc farcille is super super always endgame for me and the "marcille has two hands" thing is absolutely not for me and my personal characterization of marcille
i like. can't find it anymore for some reason but there was a farcille fic set just after the shuro confrontation where laios reaches over to hold marcille's hand and ask her if she likes him or if she's just tolerating him too and it was so. the vulnerability. the puppyness.
that safety and security he must feel in knowing that she wears her heart on her sleeve and he will always know when she's unhappy with him because she will absolutely let it be known. the way that falin's first revival was the turning point for the way he felt about her because, for the first time in his life, protecting falin wasn't something he had to shoulder alone. there was finally someone else who cared about her as much as he did (in his eyes, resenting his parents for failing to protect her) and would stop at nothing to save her. the way it must have been proof for him that, not only was falin not alone anymore, he wasn't alone anymore.
idk why i like rather than dislike the fact that his only framework for parsing how he feels about "the first girl other than his sister that he's ever cared this much about" is a comphet romantic lens. like he would have the autism moment of fully assuming that he's in love with her for a while and just like. not? doing anything about it? because he doesn't feel the urge to, nor is he sad that he knows marcille would mostly likely never "feel the same way" about him?
like. he "figures out" that he's "in love with marcille" with all the passion of printing out a label and sticking it onto a favourite scrapbook for organizational purposes. he's equally happy to be her husband or brother-in-law so long as it means she stays close and is part of his family.
i know logically i should hate it but it's sooo crunchy to me. my comphet besties ever. designated plus one and dance partner to all fancy and formal occasions. having actual real chemistry but the "romantic" part of it is some weird shapeshifter smokescreen. augh
#asks#tunnel anon#screencapped so it doesn't show up in the l*imar tag#anyway don't read these tags if lesbian marcille is your truth. you're real for that and i would never oppose that#but i guess im in the bisexual marcille camp for a couple of reasons (first and foremost being that ryoko kui is like.#a fabulous incredibly likely bisexual and marcille is clearly her Specialest Little Guy so it feels only fair)#so technically laios and marcille “dating” is a possibility in my head but such an insanely depressing one that i don't give it much though#like yeah sure marcille is capable of being attracted to him and even having feelings for him if he pursued her intensely enough#but that's the paradox. he wouldn't.#once again. equally happy to be her husband or brother in law bc he doesn't understand being attracted to women#and dearest marcille needs more than that.#little neurotic dragoness bunny who needs to be desired and wanted with an all-consuming passion#hopeless romantic freakassishly monogamous cringe darling who needs to be “the one” for her partner in order to thrive in a relationship#because she wants to be given as good as she's giving and nothing less (and boy does she give!! she gives her everything!!)#so i vastly prefer her never developing feelings for him bc he never decides to pursue her in a way she can't ignore#over them getting together and her self-esteem taking hit after hit as he demonstrates no romantic passion for her#like yes it's toxic and ridiculous. but let's be so real. if someone blatantly flirted with her and he did nothing and felt nothing#she'd be crying herself to sleep feeling unwanted and unessential and “not even worth getting jealous abt” bc she's Like That.#while he starts to hate himself more and more for not being able to give her what she needs#kissing them on the head and tucking them safely into my personal canon. i could never do that to them.#also marcille being the first and foremost thing that laios and falin “fight” over in a way where falin is finally able to assert herself i#yknow??
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mikesbasementbeets · 9 months ago
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it’s a little frustrating sometimes to watch people try to “debunk” gay mike evidence by quibbling over things that are. kind of beside the point? like arguing that mike’s consistently negative (or even neutral, if you want the benefit of the doubt) reactions to girls aren’t “disgust” therefore they don’t mean anything. but like 1. yeah i agree, cates gate isn’t about mike being “disgusted.” mike’s face when el kisses him isn’t “disgusted.” mike’s reaction to el, to max, to girls in general doesn’t really read to me as “disgust” either. so 2. what DOES it read to you as? incredulity? confusion? discomfort? those…. still aren’t positive reactions.
the point is that mike actively and blatantly Does Not react positively toward el kissing him. and he also Doesn’t react positively to dustin’s description of a girl being “hotter than phoebe cates.” he asks “is she cute?” with maybe preemptive incredulity (in line with will's question "girls go to science camp?") over a girl who goes to science camp being cute, or perhaps just a neutrally curious state over dustin's new girlfriend, but then dustin doesn’t say “she’s hotter than phoebe cates.” he says, ��think phoebe cates. only hotter.” that’s a prescriptive statement. you want to know if she’s cute, mike? think about phoebe cates, and then imagine someone hotter than that. and mike’s expression doesn’t improve in the slightest. think about someone hotter than phoebe cates, dustin tells mike. and mike? remains confused and entirely unintrigued. no, he’s not disgusted, but the point is not his negative reaction, it’s a complete lack of any sort of positive reaction. if he’s listening to dustin, he should have, in that moment, thought of phoebe cates. and his reaction?
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nothing.
(but. this is also just to say... i don’t even think it's fair to call most of mike’s facial reactions “proof” of his sexuality in any argument… i think they’re fun little easter eggs that add an extra visual element to his gay characterization. but. it’s not WHY people think he’s gay. it's funny to point out BECAUSE he's gay)
[edit: AND this is not even to mention the direct line drawn to this in season four via stobin's discussion of fast times, linking phoebe cates to 'people who like boobies.' #notmikewheeler]
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nodominion · 6 months ago
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I need Daniel's 'assistant' to be Jesse.
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markantonys · 1 year ago
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odds of the show giving mat additional (non-endgame) love interest(s)? the books make such a big deal about what a flirt he is, but he doesn't actually do much Onscreen Romancing before he meets tuon, just his brief flings with melindhra and aludra (no, i do not count tylin as a Mat Romance). i feel like since they gave perrin a wife and made randgwene actually have a real relationship, it's not outside the realm of possibility that mat could have new romance(s) added if it served the story.
or they could also just flesh out his book ones more, especially aludra since that one is almost blink-and-you'll-miss-it in the books (although there's no guarantee aludra would make it into the show - depends on how they're planning to handle the dragon-cannon invention plotline). plus, with the condensing of events in the show, there may not be much time for him to have more than a 1-scene hookup with anyone besides melindhra (season 3 or 4) and tuon (whom he could potentially meet in season 5 if his ACOS & WH ebou dar activities are condensed into a single season).
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a-dash-in-the-middle · 4 months ago
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extra tired, feet hurt, would do it again 10/10
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dramarants · 1 year ago
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ah they just had the fiancee cheat with arguably the slimiest character in the show to try and balance out the leads finally kissing, all of a sudden spells aren't real and the curse is entirely forgotten they're solving everything with lazy ass writing okay
#don't get me wrong - shinyu trying to leave hongjo alone while desperately yearning being protective and playfully possessive/jealous#only to kiss her when he's so overcome with accepting his (and realizing her) truth SHOULD be delicious#and yet... once my bi heart looks past the chemistry/visuals... 😐#destined with you#also implicating hongjo as stealing 2nd fl's man twice for so long and having her slapped - make it make sense pls#like yes she's lonely immature and being wooed made her feel good inside but she never encouraged shinyu's behavior#hasn't even figured out she doesn't like jae kyung or whatever anymore for herself#technically shinyu's feelings aren't her responsibility esp w/o magic but the show's premise rn makes her the 'other woman' to blame#we're in the middle of things unravelling but i s2g if she doesn't have agency or a modicum or self respect/honesty in the next eps.. 🤦🏾‍♀️#but going back to the post - the show could have justified shinyu's breakup with the fact that he wasn't invested from the beginning#or that 2nd fl is a two faced bully and show that forcing relationships bc of status/attraction/history/family pressure ends poorly#but instead it's taking a female character who would be justifiably upset and vilifying her so that her pain seems deserved#she's already unlikable and pitiful (there's like only two women in this entire show portrayed positively) but no#let's make her as 2d & evil as possible to uplift hongjo instead of putting in work to develop the lead/story & appeal to the audience#writers prove me wrong challenge
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requiemforthestars · 4 months ago
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People who say that Hot D S2 is bad do not understand that this was made for gay girls and nobody else
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ragnar0c · 7 months ago
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Absolutely criminal. Lesbian visibility week and I haven’t posted nearly enough Alope. She’s a lesbian. LOOK AT HER (thumbnails) more rendered part 2 later lol
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7roaches · 1 year ago
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ngl ice king and mbetty is cute but i think if i was ice king and i turned back into simon bc all the golbetty shit still happened my entire perception would chan why am i talking in first person i think for a looooong time like akin to his process in f&c simon would be hung up over betty nd be like “ooooo yeah ice king was terrible i understand why she was like that” and then when he cant rationalize that anymore hed be like “ooooo betty was crazy and i was too so i understand it” and then “oooooo but she loved me so much so its actually romantic” & then he’d reach his pinnacle instead of minerva therapy i think hed just sit there like hey. what the fuck was that about
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soopysoap · 2 years ago
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remembering how i had to explain to my straight liberal father scene by scene that richie was in fact gay after It 2 had been out for YEARS... maybe straight ppl are just Stupid.
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hauntingblue · 3 months ago
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This volume is called ace's introduction. Nothing more to say.
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"You hire comedians here?" He is so funny....
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Who's gonna tell him..... He literally will never get a break
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Ace being so proud of Luffy not accepting to join and being a little shit... Also right here is where I got ROBBED of my acesan content.... Also he does fight whitebeard... In marineford... GOD!!!!!
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GOOOD TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!! TAKE MEEEE!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH
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You cannot see me but I am on the floor on my knees and I am crying and sobbing and hitting my chest asking the gods to spare him
#ace's knife is so big for no reason. and he hasn't used it once. major tragedy#im just staring at the page when he wakes up at this point. enjoying myself very much thank youu#ace no ototo...... yeaaaaaah#ace telling smoker to calm down man... he was eating bc he had the munchies...#i forgot ace asks luffy to join whitebeard omg....#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LEAVES RIGHT NOW??? I AM GOING TO CRY!!! LUFFY ASKING HIM TO STAY A BIT LONGER BC THEY HAVENT SEEN EACHOTHER IN A WHILE#NOOOOOO#i am crying. what do you mean he leaves now..... no sanji homo moment.... no wandering thru the desert... they literally dont see each othe#until ace fucking dies. should we all kill ourselves......... that is so vile#now i am sad....now what.....#goodbye my beautiful wife............ AAAARGGGHHHH#i am writing this down so i dont forget.... it rains in alubarna just bcuz and crocodile made it look like the king was using dance powder#since then the climate in arabasta has changed bc of crocodile i am assuming who dries up the place... and elumalu has dried up#bc the river hasnt been as strong and the city has fed off it#vivi making friends with khoza by fighting and luffy gettint it thru her head that she needs to let her friends help her by fighting is so.#like yeah yeah he knew.... he is an empath... he knows she is insane in the head... she needs to rumble...#vivi not wanting people to die for her.... understandable but necessary maybe when you are a princess akdhaksjsk#you know kohza being leader of the rebellion is good bc you know he does it bc he loves his country... and if that means doubting the king#then so be it.... like thats a good backstory and motivation for a character bc god knows how rebellion leaders are portrayed usually 💀#also just realised there is no ace lighting sanjis cigarette scene in the manga.... critical hit. devastating loss#it's like an angel lost its wings#is there a reversal in roles with vivi not wanting anybody to die in a war in arabasta and luffy going to marineford to save ace???#like i can barely see it#if luffy and vivi dont fight in the la i am killing someone btw. like idk why they are so adverse to fighting. HIT WOMEN AND CHILDREN!!!#the ace lighting up sanji scene didnt happen but the zoro calling sanji prince is from the manga... oda has his favorites....#'what does vip mean?' smash cut to tem behind bars akdhaksjaosk#not showing robin's powers until she uses them to lie to pell and then you can see how she lied.... chefs kiss...#mr prince in action... and crocodile ignoring robin telling him to leave mr prince alone.... she gives good advice but alas#talking tag#reading one piece
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star-sim · 11 months ago
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"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha hyungs
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☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen hyung line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, jealous and whipped boys... kinda dumb lol ☆ warning(s)? no! just fluff!! and attempts at humor :( ☆ reblogs and comments are appreciated :D also not proofread lol
maknae ver.
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heeseung ☆
i like to think that hee would be a gaming youtuber
posts maybe like once or twice a week, has about 3 million subs
he sometimes likes to stream, just to get to know his fanbase better and to just hang out
normally he texts you to let you know abt it, but today he totally forgot
you came home from work and you saw his office door closed + heard the sound of his loud ass keyboard clicking.... my guy beats that shit UP atp
that was normal tbh
you were probably like "my little keyboard warrior ❤️" and went to go wash up in your shared bathroom and bedroom
you were going to just pop into his office, say hi and maybe give him a kiss
meanwhile... heeseung is taking a break from gaming, just talking to the chat
he definitely didn't notice you coming home... probably bc of that bigass head set that's creating a fucking valley in his skull... (btw have u seen those videos where gamers take off their headphones and they have a dent on their head 😭)
anyways you open the door, ready to say hi, but heeseung is visibly surprised, looking like a deer in headlights
you look at him, then at the back of his monitor, then back at him, then at his monitor
"should i come back another time...?"
hee's already taking off his headphones, leaning back into his gaming chair--
"no no no!" he grins, glancing at the chat, which is now blowing up
"who is that?"
"yooooo"
"HEESEUNG IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"
"gf reveal?"
"she sounds so pretty"
heeseung pats his lap, "cmere, baby, i wanna introduce you to the stream"
of course you comply <3
you take a seat on his lap, his arms slithering around your waist
it takes you a moment to take in what's on his screen: obv there's your reflections, then the chat boxes and announcement pop-ups
the way that the blue-purple light of his screen reflects onto your skin, casting a glassy gleam over your eyes-- and the way that your pretty eyes look at the monitor so curiously, lips parted ever-so-slightly-- made you look SO beautiful
heeseung himself has to angle his head in a way so that he could see your face properly.... and a soft grin unknowingly began to spread over his lips
he presses a soft kiss to the crook behind your ear, before looking back up at the stream
"hey guys," there's a clear smile in his voice, "this is my girlfriend, [name]."
you take that as your queue to introduce yourself
honestly, you're a little shy and softer-spoken now, bc you're not in front of a camera nearly as often as your boyfriend is, "hi.. i'm [name], and... uhm..." you give the webcam a clumsy, awkward (but very cute) smile, "i'm hee's girlfriend"
the chat blows up immediately
"SHE'S SO CUTE"
"i've never seen heeseung look so soft"
"[name] you're so pretty :)"
"this might actually be one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen im not joking guys"
"chat is she real... bc why is she actually GLOWING oh my lord🧎🧎🧎"
those comments make you a lil shy and bashful, and you feel your cheeks kinda warm
you just giggle reading them, unable to contain your smile
heeseung, on the other hand, is feeling prideful
"that's right, guys," he squeezes your waist, puffing his chest out, "my girlfriend is so beautiful" "i know i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful woman as my girlfriend"
he's overjoyed by all the compliments you're getting... it makes him so happy that he can show you off and that everyone gets to see that YOURE his gf
in fact, he's reading a lot of them aloud, and following it up with "i agree with you"
like he'll read "'[name] is absolutely stunning, like wow..." and heeseung nods and is like "i agree with you, xXdragontittysucker23Xx 🤓☝️"
but then a comment stops him in his tracks...
"heeseung is your girlfriend single by any chance?"
his face drops immediately
"hey... who in the chat asked if [name] is single?!"
he's actually offended, putting a dramatic hand on his chest and scoffing
"how rude!" heeseung pouts against your shoulder when even more of his viewers begin saying similar things
"[name] are you free this weekend"
"hi [name] (i'm 6'2 and drive a lamborghini and save orphans every weekend)"
"heeseung get out i'm trying to have a moment with your girlfriend"
you're actually such a cutie, becuase you're just giggling as more and more comments come trying to rizz you up
"what do you have to say for yourself?" heeseung asks you half-sulkily and half-defensive, pushing his face into your neck and pouting
your eyes glimmer with a little mischief, wanting to tease your boyfriend a little bit
"i mean... " you pretend to think
and then someone named jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 says in chat "please [name] i'll rock your world so hard just one chance"
you laugh
"jungkooksleftpinkytoe562, i'm free tomorrow at 5, you should take me out on a date" and you wink playfully and laugh again
chat blows up like
"WOAHHHH"
"AYOOO????"
but if there's anyone that's scandalized, it's heeseung lee himself
"HEY! HEY! WHAT?!!?!" he's squinting and scrolling so fast in the chat to find jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 that you can hear the scroll-wheel oh my god
"you guys better back off," heeseung says, pulling you even closer. he presses a kiss against your shoulder, then gently clutching your face to kiss your chin, "she's mine!"
heeseung's eyes narrow, "especially you, jungkooksleftpinkytoe562..." your bf gives you a quick peck on the lips, "i'll kick your ass if i see you flirting w my girlfriend again >:("
im gonna be fr... none of his viewers care
in fact they keep flirting with you
and the fact that you keep playfully flirting back adds fuel to heeseung's flames
but he'd never blame you <3
he's pouty after the stream lol (but he knows it's all in good fun) so kiss his cute lil pouty lips
i think this definitely goes viral on twitter
like #[name] or #heesgf trends for a good 48 hours
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jay ☆
my guy is a cooking channel
i think jay would try to be more private abt his personal life to his viewers, just given the nature of his content
though, it's no secret that jay has a s/o to his viewers, and i think they'd know your name
but yk how at the end of cooking videos, after the chef cooks, they try the food...
i think in a few of his videos, there's clips of you and him trying his food, but while jay is usually in-frame, you're either behind the camera or just barely in the frame so that most people have really only heard your voice and seen your hands
the comments are usually tame, like
"[name]'s voice is so pretty!"
"i want someone to look at me the way jay looks at [name]"
"my parents!"
but one day
for one of his subscriber milestone specials
let's say 2million subscriber special
jay does a cooking challenge
it's "cooking a meal but BLINDFOLDED"
he starts the video explaining the parameters of the challenge and what he's doing, etc
but then he reveals that you're behind the camera to supervise him
obv bc he's in a kitchen with ovens and knives and he's blindfolded...
throughout the video, you kind of just guide your bf
"omg jay move your hand or you'll cut your fingers off!"
"turn on the stove-- no the other way!!"
at some point, jay is cutting up onions
and normally he's a pro at it, and you never question his abilities
but because he can't see and he's using the knife so quickly, you're freaked out like "babe!!!!!! that doesn't seem safe!!! 😰😰😰"
so then behind the camera, you're heard fussing about it and it's cute lol
then you take it upon yourself to help him
you go behind him, slithering your arms around him so that your hands were places on his
you guide his hands to cut the onions slowly
"babe, i got this," jay says, but tbh he's not complaining because he gets to be close to you :D
"nonono i don't want you to die!!" you say, and it seems like you're more concentrated on cutting the onions than him
this is the first time that your face is in-frame for one of his videos lol
when you're done, jay tries to kiss your head, but he can't find you so you raise yourself on your tippy toes for him
its a quick peck but you giggle and place a kiss behind his ear
when he's done cooking his little dish, it's time to garnish and decorate it with sauce
jay's plan is to use the sauce to write "happy 2 million subscribers" on the dish
but because he's blindfolded, the writing is so fucked up
it's completely unintelligable and just a glob of sauce 😭
and then he tries to draw a dick on it but it's also super fucked 😭😭😭😭
when you see this, you burst out laughing so hard
and this makes jay laugh too
anyways the video goes up, it's very cute and well-received
now.... the youtube comments are still tame
"[name]'s laugh is so cute!"
"i screamed when she popped into frame... she's gorg"
"the way that [name] looks at jay when he's blindfolded is everything"
"[name] looks so beautiful"
but uh
it gets crazy on twitter
as it always does
"jesus fucking christ if a woman like that wrapped her arms around me and kissed me i would fall to my knees and die happily"
"jay CANNOT handle allat.... but i can!!!! me next!!"
"god... when is it my turn to have a pretty woman kiss me"
"[name] i'll treat you so well PLEASE"
i think the clip of you helping jay cut the onions kinda goes viral, just because you look so attractive doing it
like the way you popped into frame as you rolled up your sleeves and the way you smirked at jay's inability to see... ZOOWEE MAMA!!!!!
and i think this eventually makes its way onto tiktok
like pretty standard videos of ppl being like "JAY'S GIRLFRIEND HELLO???" with comments like "she's so beautiful," etc
jay honestly thinks its funny
he knows that people are joking and he sometimes actually plays along with them
he loves that people are appreciating your beauty (but he loves even more that he's the only one that actually gets you)
when you first go viral, you're kinda shy about it, but jay just pulls you close, kisses your cheek, squishing them, and says "my baby is so beautiful"
youre like "jayyyyyy stoopppp"
he only chuckles and starts to pepper your face with more kisses, despite your lil whines for him to stop
but then while you two are cuddling one night, you laying on his chest with your face in his neck
a tiktok appears on his fyp
its just some teenager being like "hi does anyone know if jay's girlfriend is single?" while showing off a black BMW in the background... and then jay's directly tagged in it
he takes this as his opportunity to strike back
he stitches that tiktok, and makes his own tiktok in response
it's just a really short video where jay shows you all snuggled up against him completely silent before he just says "No, she is not single. 😐."
the caption's like "i'm taking [name] out on a date tomorrow shhh don't tell her"
everyone thinks it's really sweet tbh
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jake ☆
truthfully i think jake would be into youtube commentary
something like danny gonzalez or jarvis johnson
he looks at troom troom videos and makes fun of them lowk 😭
speaking of, troom troom or troom troom - adjacent content usually has crazy ass lifehacks
so for one of his videos jake is testing out troom troom life hacks
and for one of them, he has to drill a hole in a skateboard or something and put pasta noodles in it idk i'm pulling this out of my ass but its not surprising if this is a legitimate troom troom life hack
unlike heeseung and jay, jake's viewerbase doesn't rlly know about you
again, given the nature of his content, jake never rlly found it necessary to mention his personal relationships
anyways jake is in the middle of your living room floor drilling a hole into a skateboard and putting spaghettie in it when you come home from work and see that shit
jake is in the middle of talking to the camera but the moment the door cracks open he trails off
he gives you that smile-- the one that a puppy gives when their owner catches them doing something they shouldnt aw
when you take in the sight before you, you let out a laugh, not noticing the camera rolling
you place your things down and slink toward your boyfriend
"what's going on here, jakey?" you ask him with a cocked brow, loving the way he chuckles nervously
you crouch down beside him, poking the skateboard-spaghetti abomination with your foot
"i'm testing out troom troom life hacks" he sounds defeated lol
anyways you give him a kiss on his cheek and leave him to his own devices
in the final video, your little interruption is only like 15 seconds bc jake cut it down-- but he def keeps the part where you kiss him
HOWEVER.
because jake's audience didn't know he had a girlfriend
they were all like WOAH WHO IS THAT GORGEOUS WOMAN
a few of his fans look at who he's following on instagram, and they find your account
your ig is public, but it's definitely small and personal
they find pictures of you and jake doing cute couple things, a lot of mirror selfies, matching costumes, and cute pictures that you take of jake
but...
they also find your own personal pictures
ones of you in a bikini at the beach, ones of you with the golden sun on your face, ones showing off your outfit and hair, ones of you in the morning, ones of you being a baddie
and lets not mention jake in the ig comment sections hyping you up like a teenage boy like "YOURE SO HOT [NAME] 🔥🔥🔥🔥"
jake and you see all the comments and tweets about you
so jake decides to take it upon himself to clarify everything
he posts a picture on instagram of you and him with the caption "yes, that's my girlfriend"
safe to say that it becomes his top post LMAOAAO
his ig comments are flooded with support
"you guys are so cute"
"i'm glad to see jake have someone that he loves"
etc
YOUR ig comment section on the other hand?
flooded with support
and thirst
HELP
his fans are respectful but they REALLY love to compliment you
"woahhh you look so good in this one!"
"gorgeous 😍"
"[name] will you marry me?"
but i do think a few are outright insane omg
"[name] you're my sunshine in the ran, the tylenol when i'm in pain, when it's burning hot on summer days you're exactly what i need"
i think they pull out poetic shit omg
like shit like
"the memory of you is a tapestry I had decided to wrap myself in until it suffocated me, to such extent that in the morning, people will not find my body, but a new silhouette woven within its threads"
"there is a city in my heart where you are its only population"
"if i could remake universe, i would replace you as the moon amongst the stars after your time, so i may gaze upon you every night"
jake is NEVER escaping
you appreciate the hype
but jakey?
he loves that you're being appreciate but YOU'RE HIS
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE W U
"jakey they're just being nice"
"no they're trying to STEAL YOU"
like a day later he posts a picture of you on his instagram with the caption "she's mine btw"
his comments DO NOT CARE 😭😭😭
when someone comments
"jake is your gf single and can i take her out on a date"
jake straight up responds
"NO."
what a cutie
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sunghoon ☆
i actually don't think sunghoon would be a YOUTUBER youtuber
instead i think he'd be a famous ice skater, but he has YOUTUBE interviews and is active on social media
definitely the type of athlete that's very personable
like sunghoon is def in touch with his fanbase and interacts with them on twt and stuff
his fanbase knows that he has a gf, but that's basically the limit
anyways sunghoon is doing one of those "WIRED answered the web's most searched questions"
you're actually in the studio with him during the interview, kinda there for support
the questions are tame like
"sunghoon park height" "sunghoon park winter olympics 2018" "where was sunghoon park born" etc
sunghoon's killing it
until one of the last questions on the board is "does sunghoon park have a girlfriend?"
he immediately lights up
"i do have a girlfriend!" he says, looking off-set at you, "her name's [name] and she's the most beautiful woman i've ever met"
you chuckle quietly at his comment, flashing him a pretty smile
sunghoon continues- "she's actually here with me today" and he points to you, making the cameraman pan over to you, who is sitting off the set
you just give the camera a thumbs up
you thought that would be the end, but sunghoon asks, "baby, do you want to do this interview with me?"
ofc you agree
he makes u sit on his lap lol even when the camera crew is bringing another chair for you
instead of answer more questions sunghoon just talks about your relationship the entire time
he's giving an entire history lecture about your relationship
you don't say much, but you listen to him intently
when this interview goes up
a lot of his fans make edits of it
sunghoon is already known as a quiet typa guy, but when he talks for like 2 minutes straight about your relationship everyones like "oh god this guy really likes his girlfriend 😭"
in fact
the official interview cuts down sunghoon's tangent about you to 2 minutes, when the original clip was actually 10 minutes
i like to believe that WIRED released an uncut version of his tangent 😭
his fans make short edit videos like "sunghoon being whipped for [name]" or "sunghoon really likes his gf"
i think his fans also make edits of YOU
even though you're honestly in a very short clip of his interview
the way you look at him and listen so intently is SO GOOD
like you were definitely giving him 'the look' as he talked abt your relationship yk?
that once-over, maybe a little lip bite, MMMMM SO GOOD
now....
ik i said that heeseung was the keyboard warrior but like... i think sunghoon is the real one
he's out here fighting BATTLES with his keyboard oml
when stan twitter sees this.... sunghoon starts to fight them
there's tweets like
"the more i listen to sunghoon talk about his gf i more i feel like i'm falling for her"
"the woman that you are, [name]..."
"when she looks at the camera i feel shy"
"omg SHE WANTS ME"
sunghoon gets petty OH MY GOD
he responds to all the tweets about you
like
"she does not want you 😐." "you have no chance with her. 😐." "too bad she's mine 😇"
it's def in a playful joking way and it's really funny, but sunghoon is out here defending your honor
i think at some point sunghoon stops responding with words and just begins responding with pictures
someone tweets "sunghoon is your gf single"
and he straight up just responds with a picture of him staring blankly at the camera
LIKE HE'S DRILLING HOLES THROUGH THE CAMERA WITH HIS EYES
an absolute cutie if i do say so myself
on valentines day he posts a picture of him holding your hand to be extra petty lol
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maknae ver.
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allpiesforourown · 4 months ago
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Superstar Luo Binghe au. All the directors beg him to be in their movies because his fame will immediately assure success for anything they make. He’s handsome, charming, dedicated, and most of all, extremely talented. He even does his own stunts!! Women love him, and men who say they hate him will still watch his movies so they can figure out how to be more like him. 
The only weird thing about Binghe as an actor is that he refuses to star in romantic films. He won’t kiss anyone, won’t pretend to date someone on screen, won’t even let another actor take over his role for the scenes he doesn’t want to do. His reason? He’s completely loyal to his husband.
Everyone thinks it’s stupid, obviously. You aren’t “cheating” by pretending to love someone else, it’s literally your job! Luo Binghe still refuses and says even he’s not good enough an actor to make anyone believe he could ever love someone other than Yuan-ge.
His fans hate this mysterious Yuan-ge. Because of his (probably insecure and jealous) spouse, all of Binghe’s fangirls cant see him sweep some y/n character off their feet. It’s even worse because they don’t know anything about this guy. Whenever someone asks to see or learn about Binghe’s husband, the star says he’ll never reveal Yuan-ge to the public, because he’s too beautiful and he doesn’t want everyone falling in love with him. 
People kind of run with the idea that obviously this guy must be a total weirdo who Binghe is embarrassed to be seen with. That has to be the explanation, because no matter how perfect someone is, how can they have such a chokehold on THE LUO BINGHE??
Then, one day, years after Luo Binghe’s initial rise to fame…. He goes on a talkshow. With his husband Shen Yuan. 
Obviously EVERYONE tunes in. No one uses TVs anymore bc of the internet, but just for this show, viewer ratings are the highest theyve ever been. Everyone wants to know what the fuss is all about with this guy to have Luo Binghe so down horrible. 
And Shen Yuan isn’t a weirdo. He’s also not some pretty yesman. He makes jokes that make the audience burst into laughter. He’s opinionated, which is really refreshing when every other celebrity stays neutral on every topic to avoid losing fans. He’s polite, but he’s not a pushover. He’s likeable, but he’s not a try-hard about it. Referencing memes makes him an instant hit with the younger generations, and the calm gentle way he talks makes him a hit with the older ones. All of a sudden everyone is going, okay we see why Luo Binghe is obsessed with him. 
Except… while shen yuan was making jokes and charming everyone, Luo Binghe was at his side, pathetically pawing at his husband for attention. The actor keeps whining every two minutes to be reassured yuan-ge still likes him. Whenever Shen Yuan compliments the host, Binghe looks like he’s about to cry. Whenever Luo Binghe jealously wraps his arms around shen Yuan everyone watching just rolls their eyes. Seeing them together people realize… shen yuan is the one that’s out of Luo Binghe’s league.
In just one hour public opinion goes from ‘no one can be worth binghe acting like that for’ to ‘luo binghe is so annoying, let shen yuan talk!!’ 
The next day someone finds shen yuan’s twitter and it blows up. He has his own fan pages now. There’s no pictures of him online other than the footage from the talkshow, so the fan accounts just post that over and over again. Shen yuan retweets a post about him with the caption “i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene” and everyone loses their mind. Everything he says immediately goes viral bc that’s luo binghe’s attic wife.
People start nagging Binghe to post about Shen Yuan bc theyre so attached after his one and only publicized appearance. Binghe is super possessive, but yuan-ge tells him not to worry, so he relents and posts pictures of him and shen yuan on vacation. They’re together, holding hands… but shen yuan’s face and body are blurred out. It’s HORRIFYING. He looks like an eldritch monster bc luo binghe refuses to let anyone look at his yuan-ge in a swim suit, go away you perverts!! His instragram is now just full of pics of shen yuan where his eyes are blacked out so noone else can see how pretty they are. It’s nightmare fuel
Shen Yuan is unfortunately too unbothered to post pictures of himself. Everyone’s tired of Luo Binghe for “hogging shen yuan all to himself” when Shen Yuan is practically an internet celebrity now. 
People go to watch movies and their theatre conversations sound like this:
“Oh, Luo Binghe’s in this one!”
“Who?”
“You know Shen Yuan’s annoying husband?”
“OH THAT GUY..”
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uh-mxtx · 3 months ago
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Modern-au Binghe who inherits Tianglang-jun’s massive fuck off mansion with like 4000 rooms after living on the streets/foster system after his adoptive mom died (idk i just need him to have big house) and he goes “what the hell am I supposed to do with this” and Meng mo (cant be a demon here ive decided he’s a weird homeless guy who gives him advice. That or a schizophrenic hallucination) goes “fill it with women” and binghe who knows he is gay goes “no”
But then he hears some girls complaining about the safety of some of the campus housing/thier boyfriend or parents kicked them out/ect and he’s like “well, i can fix that” and offers his mcmansion up as apartments. He’s loaded so he barely asks for rent and he just keeps inviting women in hard times, like his mother used to be.
But his real calling is cooking so he keeps feeding his tenants and asking what they like. He’s got a youtube cooking/home ec channel and they’re his taste testers. And they start inviting their freinds over like “hey wanna meet our big gay himbo landlord who feeds us” and their freinds are like “boy do I”
Binghe is absolutely gleefull about this. More people to feed. Fuck yeah he gets to be housewife. The gossip sessions are unmatched. He ends up making a full banquet every night and you can either show up in your pj’s or a ballgown to match the decor.
And eventually all this snowballs and hes got a whole sorority in his mcmansion. and they casually call him husband/boyfreind/sugar daddy as a joke bc Binghe is JACKED and they can get rid of men real fast if they pull their six foot seven guard dog out of the crowd. For the sign off/video end the taste testers on Binghe’s show kiss his cheeks as thanks. Binghe doesn’t know half the people in his house. Some girl he never met (came out of SHL’s room and is COVERED in hickeys) just smacked his ass and stole a stack of pancakes. He doesn’t even react he just makes more. This is the best for his touch starvation.
And oblivious people(you know who) dont realize most of them are lesbians using him as a beard, (ignoring the makeouts and pride flags in the background of some videos) and they absolutely believe Luo Binghe seduced a crowd of women into a harem by the power of cooking, cleaning, and great sex.
Cough cough, Shen Yuan
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