#bathrooms harassment

[scramratz]

[bonefall]

Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.

It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.

[hazbinbabbling4ever]

Your daily reminder JK Rowling sucks.

[breelandwalker]

Idiot In My Comments: It's not gonna be that bad! You're being dramatic! Nothing's gonna happen to you omg shut uuuuuup!

Me: .....You must be new here. And there's the door.

[lone-pylon]

So I bought a printer

[thedreadvampy]

unwarranted Cis Opinion but I'm getting really uncomfortable w people responding to bathroom bills by posting pictures of trans men like DO YOU WANT THEM IN WOMEN'S BATHROOMS

bc like. no they're men. they should be in men's bathrooms unless that feels unsafe. but. it really feels like it's not helpful to lean into the idea that seeing someone presenting masc or being read as a man in a women's bathroom means You're In Danger.

like I know several butch women and NB ppl who are really scared around being on T or getting top surgery bc they're not men and they don't want to be in the men's bathroom, and in that circumstance stuff like growing facial hair or reading more androgynously can be really fucking scary when people are being primed by propaganda to be on edge and hyperreactive to anyone who doesn't look like their idea of a Cis Woman.

and I'm not laying that at the feet of the people saying "hey uhhhh trans men are men and don't belong in women's bathrooms" bc it is not their fault. it's the fault of a concerted effort to make it difficult and dangerous to be trans or substantively gender nonconforming in public.

but at the same time idk I guess it just worries me cause sometimes it feels like "you fools! you are worried about this group of trans people bc you think they're the Lurking Danger of Men In Bathrooms? WRONG! the Men Making You Feel Afraid In Bathrooms are actually THESE trans people!" when in fact neither of those groups using the fucking bathroom is a problem. just piss and mind your business. people need to go where they need to go.

anyway this country is a hot fucking trash fire that somehow accelerates its descent into open fascism more every day so it's all super good and normal. so don't take this too seriously tbh cause it's somewhere near #2535654476457899009765 on the list of priorities for Queer Discourse right now when the fucking human rights commission is actively rescinding protections from trans people. Please ignore my gibberish.

[sevens-evan]

i think that if you don’t wash your hands with soap in the bathroom you should be thrown bodily into a septic tank. if you like shit so much you can swim in it

[strwbrryeyes]

okay another delay because im dealing with suitemate drama lol

[remix-of-your-guts]

i feel like y'all took "respecting our gender" as trans men too far when you started disrespecting our lived experiences of misogyny, lesbophobia, transphobia, antimasculism, etc. (or we could just call it transandrophobia but clearly no one's ready for that yet)

[mabelsguidetolife]

the most unrealistic thing about gravity falls is that a twelve/thirteen-year-old rich white girl would actually become a nicer person without years and years of introspection 👀

[seasquire]

paraphrasing from a post ages ago that has stuck in my mind ever since but perennially exhausted by meme jokes taking trans men who pass and look very 'male' and saying "oh so this is who you're calling a girl" like this shit doesn't just reinforce transphobia. actually it's also bad to misgender trans men when they look just like women. it's bad to misgender trans women when they look just like men. it's bad to condition acceptance of trans people on 'but what about the ones who pass? what then, you'll feel real silly!' like no they won't, they'll do more violence about it, while you're too busy implying those of us who don't pass deserve it

[xxradzxx]

I hate public school dude none of these kids know what deodorant is

[i-miss-my-90gb]

I also love how people on here are like no transmasc people are ever in danger etc blah blah die

[infinitystation]

dont know if this is a very common experience, but in MY experience, cis people actually do not care about gendered bathrooms. until you're trans. people at my work are ALWAYS saying "men's bathroom was full so i just went in the women's" and vice versa and saying "oh that bathroom is out of toilet paper, just go in the other one"

damn, yall aren't scared of being hatecrimed? shot? accused of being One Of Us? so it actually DOESN'T matter which bathroom we use??? so then the bathroom debate was just because you want the evil trans people to never be seen in public so that YOU can be free to do whatever you want, got it

[man-squared]

Some people are not ready to engage with the fact that transphobes only see trans people as bad men or bad women. We all are either predatory men (and not just trans women are seen as this) or silly and weak and hateful women (yes, trans women too).

Since transphobes don't know about the "different" types of trans people and do not care, they do not make distinctions. When it comes specifically to the trans bathroom debate, any gender/sex nonconforming person (which for transphobes and intersexists is possibly anyone who doesn't fall within feminine cis woman and masculine cis man) in the women's restroom is a man and any gender/sex nonconforming person in the men's restroom is a woman. In the men's restroom, gender/sex nonconformity can lead to similar/the same consequences as being gender/sex nonconforming in the women's restroom. "Women" in the men's restroom can be seen as weak and delusional, so they are easy targets for any type of harassment or assault (sexual, physical, or emotional/mental*). "Men" in the women's restroom can be seen as delusional and strong, so they are also targets for any type of harassment or assault. All these assaults can largely be expected to be received from large and violent cisgender men.

We largely see accounts of trans women (or trans/intersex people who were assigned male at birth and use the women's restroom) being accused of being men and trans men (or trans/intersex people who were assigned female at birth and use the men's restroom) being accused of being women, but the "opposite" does happen. We can't deny it, and even if we do, it doesn't stop those instances from happening. It is not a positive or affirmative thing to happen to you. Trans men seen as men in women's restrooms get hurt. Trans women seen as women in men's restrooms get hurt. Trans people seen as either in either restroom get hurt. Intersex people in either restroom get hurt.

Any trans and/or intersex ans/or gender nonconforming person feel free to add your experiences with either being seen as men or women by transphobes. I do not really account for trans ally transphobia (including transphobia from other trans people) in this because it is usually and largely more complicated, but if you would like to add to that discussion on this post, feel free.

*Harassment can vary and include being told you aren't your gender and shouldn't be in the restroom. It is not a lesser form of transphobia/harassment. It just hurts differently and can hurt less or more for each individual it happens to. All harassment and transphobia are bad. If you disagree, marginalized spaces aren't a safe space for you to air your opinions about it. Marginalized people deserve to have space to discuss all forms of harm they receive. Also, if a marginalized person shares one type of harm they receive, it does not mean they receive no other harm or that harm was not impactful to them. You are not owed every instance of harm someone receives, OBVIOUSLY.

(Feel free to send me asks about how I worded this. Hate will be deleted, though.)