#basically if my mother has a problem it becomes everyone else’s issue

[mabelsguidetolife]

the mental illness is hitting right now……..

[radiocrypt-id]

The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)

Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.

Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.

The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/754446269650452480/they-dooo-notice-everything-i-love-it-sometimes

Jupiter women can lowkey be like this too. Idk about the Freud stuff, but jupiter is the husband. When their dad fails to display positive jupiter traits and becomes arrogant, withdrawn and selfish, they become their own dad. So they embody or atleast attempt to embody positive jupiter traits of generosity and virtue. Now that I’ve typed that out, it doesn’t sound as relevant as it did in my head 😭

However I do think that what OP was describing is more of a Bharani thing than anything else. I’m sure other venus naks do it too but still.

Bharani has major connotations to childbirth and so many women make sacrifices when they have children, some are forced to leave education, some develop long term health problems, and some struggle to leave difficult relationships since children complicate that kind of thing. Before medicine advanced it was somewhat common to just die entirely bc of childbirth.

So therefore I think a lot of Bharani natives (esp moon bc we’re talking about mothers) are overly aware of the sacrifice their mothers made and it weighs on them. It becomes their “burden” as the translation of Bharani, “she who bares” takes on a literal and metaphorical interpretation. So basically Bharanis like to acknowledge the people who came before them and their sacrifices but they can have a bit of a chip on their shoulder bc of it. Inheriting their karma in a sense.

So when they experience that humiliation from their abusive parent they “eat the pain” as part of the burden they bare. Fighting back will always lead to more suffering for them despite their anger and resentment (aries). In mythology Yama was about to kick his mom but even though he holds himself back, she still cursed his foot.

Yama’s father ☀️ ☀️ also got mad at his mother for struggling to look directly at him and cursed Yama as a result, which is such a good example of the dynamics their parents have and how they suffer from it.

In conclusion, Bharanis are stoics become pushovers with daddy issues. Sorry for the unsolicited lecture, it may happen again

Nahh you're right. Jupiter women and their daddy issues are well documented (by me lmao 🤣🤡) they do become excessively giving because their dad's weren't giving at all 😤

Jupiter is a masculine planet for a reason after all. Reminds me of Rekha, Purvabhadrapada Moon. She and her siblings were the illegitimate children of a famous actor and he never acknowledged them publicly. Her mom had many other kids from other relationships etc and they were dirt poor. Rekha even went to school with her father's legitimate kids and other kids in school knew about the whole situation and called her a bastard 🥺🥹

She started acting at the age of 13 to support her ailing mother and 6 or 7 siblings. She hated being an actor and was severely exploited in the industry, esp since she had no mentors or father figures :(((( in turn she made sure none of her siblings ever had to work in the movies to make a living and supported everyone financially until they settled down 🥺 she in turn never got married or had kids :((( (she was manipulated into marrying a guy once and he committed suicide and she was hella traumatized by that as well, but that's a separate story 💀)

Here's a pic of Rekha with some of her siblings (2 or 3 are missing in the picture)

She does embody that Jupiter woman being the man trope.

(This is Rekha & her mom Pushpavalli)

Despite everything, she's never spoken ill about her father or even her mother, who clearly made her the scapegoat and placed undue pressure on her to provide even though she was a literal child. She even named her house after her mother 🥺

Anywaayyyyyssss

I agree that Bharanis are in a unique position because of their mythology and in general I think Bharanis are more dignified and humane than other Venus naks

They're outcaste naks who know what it's like to be the outsider and work their way up

But yes they're pushovers with daddy issues 😭😭😭😭

I lowkey like how empathetic they are to women bc of what they saw growing up 😔😔 like they're genuinely just like "no this is not how it should be, women need to be worshipped period, my woman will never suffer this way" and 🤧🤧😩😩😩i fall for that shit lmao

I had a recent experience with a Jupiter conjunct Purvashada Rising man who thought that broke men did not deserve to have women 💀💀💀 he said men who cannot provide have no business dating or marrying 💀💀and that "real men" should never ask for a 50-50 and put the burden on his partner and if he truly loves her, he should want her to be relaxed and enjoy life. He said things like "what's the point of me working so hard if my family isn't enjoying themselves and having a good time, my wife can do whatever she wants and I'll support her but she will never have to work to pay the bills" and ngl I love this mentality lmfao 😂🤣🤪🤭

Venus men being scarred by incompetent dads and overcompensating by being the provider and father they never had is >>>>> 🥵🥵🥵🥵so sexy of them tbh

[moderndayamymarch]

i’m not sure where this idea that dumbledore is the reason tom riddle became wizard hitler came from but i don’t buy it. i know the cool kid thing to do is blame dumbledore for every bad thing that happens in those books, but dumbledore isn’t the reason riddle was like that™️.

by the time dumbledore first meets riddle- he’s already traumatized those two kids in the cave so badly that they’ll never recover, killed some girl’s rabbit and hanged it from the rafters, and is a klepto. the kid literally meets the all childhood behavior indicators of a serial killer.

dumbledore in the meeting with riddle only displays concern for riddle and the other childrens’ well-being. he offers to help riddle and tells riddle that stealing/intimidating other students isn’t permitted at hogwarts. and he’s valid for pointing that out!! riddle admits to intimidating/stealing from the other kids. that’s something dumbledore kinda can’t let slide.

ppl cite dumbledore making a snide comment to harry about riddle wanting to be special as evidence he was out to get tom. current dumbledore made that comment as the result of knowing who tom riddle became. past dumbledore only vows to keep a close eye on him. present dumbledore even says he had no idea he’d just met wizard hitler. and past dumbledore’s not wrong for keeping an eye on riddle. also that’s common practice in the education system. when a child is noted to have behavioral issues (esp when those behaviors concern other students), admin will have a school counselor keep an eye on them or assign them a para. dumbledore also obv didn’t turn anyone against tom. everyone else loved him! so dumbledore’s watchful eye obv didn’t impact riddle’s school career really at all. all of the teachers believed he was a good role model student and he was even named head boy.

also even if, a teacher not liking or trusting you does not mean you get to become a neo-nazi. harry put up with snape’s bs and it didn’t lead to him declaring himself a “lord” and splitting his soul into pieces.

it was also the 1940s/30s and muggles did not have the psychological abilities/knowledge that we do today. wizards 1000% didn’t. if he’d been sent to a psychiatrist then, they just would’ve said some freudian bs about his mother and not actually helped with his problem of lack of empathy/guilt

the reason that riddle’s like that™️ is actually pretty understandable and makes sense psychologically. we know now (and actually by the 50s) that children who are starved of physical contact/emotional connection/and stability in early childhood can struggle to develop empathy, feel guilt, form connections, and that can lead to deviant immoral behavior. riddle grew up in an orphanage in the 40s during wwii with no familial connection. having abilities would make him feel “special” and better than the other orphans bc his abilities are the only thing he has going for him. add that to the above issues, and you’ve got someone that would abuse their powers for their own gain, especially to feel “special”. like tbh riddle’s prob not that different psychologically to like charles manson or jim jones (which is peak irony that a therapist in the muggle world could actually easily be able to explain his psyche while the wizarding world struggles)

my final point is this: dumbledore, while extremely flawed, isn’t the reason tom riddle became voldemort. if anything, slughorn and the old headmaster drove him to that end through their enabling far more than dumbledore did by keeping an eye on him. we even saw in riddle’s diary that “keeping an eye on him” consisted of dumbledore basically asking tom “you good?” when seeing him in the corridor. a behavior that reminds harry of dumbledore’s own interactions with him. and yeah eventually dumbledore called riddle out and was like “i heard you’re a fascist now” but that was after riddle had killed his own father, set a giant snake loose in the school, started calling himself “lord voldemort”, and started the wizard hitler youth

[weebsinstash]

Not me finding out the medication I specifically asked them about can literally come in pill or oral liquid form and isn't even a needle and it would also be extremely easy to administer but they turned around and had me keep coming back for more enemas and xrays like 5 different times

Not me googling that this drug literally activates upon 1 to 2 hours upon being taken and we would know very quickly if this was a correct choice of treatment

Not me sitting here thinking about how they kept telling me deobstipation was so dangerous it could literally kill him but they completely ignored a significantly safer option which I had also outright asked them about and now we may need that very dangerous and basically pointless surgery JUST to buy time for this drug to activate so he doesn't die

I knew it. I'm getting him whatever surgery or enema he needs and I'm not leaving without those prokinetics today and I'm going to prove I'm fucking right. I'm so tired of people talking over me and then almost every single time, I turn out to be right

Do you have any idea how much I've realized over my entire life that I literally put more thought into everything I do more than almost everyone else around me. Do you know how hard it is to constantly come up with plans and solutions to problems and be dismissed and then the second I get control, I turn out to be right. Literally since I've started working at my job, my department has become the best in like our entire region of the Midwest. My coworkers walk around, "oh I don't bother doing all that"(in regards to something I regularly do on my shift), "oh I know what I'm doing, I've been working here since 2006" and I almost always, do better than those people. It was like this when I was in school, it was like this when I was growing up at home, and it's still like this now

It's taken me forever to realize how deeply my own mother directly contributed to my self esteem issues which lead to my depression and I've gone completely no contact with her and have no intentions of speaking to her again because she's on the wrong kinds of medication and can't afford to get re-evaluated for what I am absolutely positive is ADHD which she then gave to me and my sister and my mother speaks in this very "unless you act extremely intellectually disabled, surely you have nothing wrong with you" kind of attitude despite the fact she used to work in the PCA field and would constantly break HIPAA to bitch to me as a CHILD about her clients with autism and down syndrome

I just. I'm gonna save Allister but I'm just. Angry at the world right now.

[scoobydoomistakes]

For ages I've been meaning to go through some asks from y'all – I'm currently stuck in a hotel room, let's do a quick round!

Yeah, Gabe is still waiting for his turn with the orange cat communal brain cell.

Dude got himself inside the top level of the huge dresser we were building...

...and earlier that day, he only just remembered in time that he couldn't phase through glass, and almost ran headfirst into the door.

He believes himself intangible. We love him, but there is nothing else in the world like the Gabe.

Oh, like the "content-aware fill" posts? Those were fun!

Let's see... take this recent image... select background... aaaaaand...

...get traumatized for life. Good.

Looks like it still works! Or more-accurately doesn't, which is what makes it work so well.

Wouldn't consider myself knowledgeable enough to say, but it certainly sounds like it gave the IP a boost during some tough times...

...and despite how awfully he was generally used, I have to remind myself Scrappy was bafflingly the best thing about Boo Brothers.

Seriously. Watching it was like this weird alternate universe where Scrappy was well-written and a welcome addition. That was a surreal experience.

Yes, and... yes to basically every weird, low-budget classic show!

I've watched entirely too many VHS rips of '80s and '90s commercials to not want to see what we can find in them.

Ah, yes! He's an American Curl!

The breed apparently started in California, and has those cool ears.

No clue how he wound up a stray in the NC Triangle, but at the shelter my mother & younger brother help at, they managed to get him socialized enough/health problems resolved to become adoptable, after it was originally thought impossible! He's a happy boy.

And finally...

...thanks to everyone who sends in stuff like this. You keep me from forgetting that it really does bring joy to people!

After so many years of SDM, and as life only gets busier, and as Tumblr has had all its issues... it's easy to feel burned out, boxed in, or like none of it matters. Hearing that it's special to someone and gives them something pleasant after a rough day, that's why I keep it going. Stay cool, y'all.

–Colin

[aihoshiino]

What are some aspects you dislike (or decisions which you feel are weak) in Oshi No Ko? And what hopes do you have for the future of the series?

Disclaimer before I get into this that obviously I am deep in the paint for Oshi no Ko or I would not be here LOL but chewing on stories I like and engaging in critique is how I have the most fun! I've also talked about this stuff before to varying degrees in other metas enough that it would be redundant to mention every time it's the case, so please bear with me if you see me repeating myself.

These also aren't, like, in any kind of order necessarily unless I specifically mention so, it's just whatever order they came to me as I was typing.

That said, this first one is the manga's biggest problem imo and it's simply that it's super unbalanced, at least past the prologue arc. The story initially presents itself as being about Aqua and Ruby as co-protagonists who are both equally important to the story's ideas and themes. This results in that nice pingponging rhythm you get up to about chapter 30 where the story switches focus between them at pretty natural feeling intervals, even if they aren't necessarily really rippling out and impacting each other. Things are still weighted more towards Aqua given that he's the POV character for the most part and we spend the most time in his head but tbh given the comparative dramatic intensity of his goal Vs Ruby's, I think that's fine. Once we move into Tokyo Blade, though, the balance irrevocably tips in Aqua's favour and Ruby basically becomes a guest star in her own story. Even as black hoshigan Ruby. That whole arc in hindsight really just ended up feeling like filler to pass time until The Real Protagonist could come back. It results in this feeling of not really knowing Ruby well or making her seem like an underbaked character because we have such little direct insight into her thoughts and feelings in comparison to Aqua or even Kana and Akane.

Spinning off from that point, the way Ruby is treated in the series more specifically is a huge issue. Up until the start of the Tokyo Blade arc, Ruby was actually one of my favourite characters and I think she was a really great contrasting point to Aqua in the story's themes. While Aqua drags people along through manipulation, Ruby's genuine kindness, enthusiasm and love makes her a bit of a guiding star for everyone else in her orbit. She isn't necessarily the deepest or most complex character at that point but like... I don't think she needed to be? Sort of similar to Memcho, I think Ruby in that first stretch of the story has a really fantastic "flat" arc in that while she herself goes through minimal development, the strength of her character inspires positive changes in the people around her. That's great!

It also just unfortunately completely falls off during Tokyo Blade. She vanishes during this arc more or less completely and even though B-Komachi are the focus of the following arc and we get time with black hoshigan Ruby... that's it! Black hoshigan Ruby gets literally one entire arc to herself to shine and do anything meaningful to the story (the Mainstay arc) and even though she's supposedly even more in the revenge sauce than Aqua at this point... she doesn't do anything! Her scheming literally does not impact the revenge plot at all! It's fucking AKANE who finally uncovers the father's identity and passes this info to Aqua and literally nothing Ruby does contributes at all to the scheme before Aqua gets back into the driver's seat.

And I'm gonna be honest: I really hate how Ruby has been handled since the mutual past life reveal! I hate that an arc that was setting up to be about Ruby untangling her long held maternal trauma got thrown aside in favour of incest bait and I absolutely despise the way the story since then retconned and diminished the importance of Ruby's connection to her mother in favour of framing Gorou/Aqua as her sole important person. This is made ten times worse by the fact that the only insight we've gotten into any of her feelings about this change is her going "omg Sensei squee" in a way that is clearly comedically exaggerated. In general, the story feels like it has a really major lack of respect for Ruby's feelings unless they can be voyeuristically oogled at and mined for sympathy points. This shit sucks!! Justice for Ruby!!!!

Ruby isn't the only character who, imo, suffers this issue of revolving around Aqua to the detriment of her own arc. I've talked in a lengthy post before about my issues with the way Akane has been written post LoveNow and while I am not going to reiterate everything in that massive post (this one has already taken so long oh god forgive me anon) it does give me an opportunity to segue into one of the other major issues with the story, which is its weird reluctance to commit to the effects of big status quo changes.

In Akane's case, this is visible both in way her suicide attempt is just completely swept under the rug and never addressed again without any focus whatsoever on Akane's healing process and the total absence of the persistent online negativity we were promised even in places it should be extremely relevant. The one time Akane ever talks about this is like 50+ chapters later where she vaguely goes "oh, you know how it went with Love Now" in a tone of someone recalling an embarrassing flub and not a harassment campaign so persistent and vitriolic that she almost took her own life.

In general, the story has a bad habit of dropping any hanging plot threads when it moves into a new arc as opposed to tying them off or letting them naturally evolve as time goes by. This results in a story where major upheavals to the status quo and character relationships are *shown* to happen but ultimately do not result in that many meaningful or observable changes within the story, especially ones that might be inconvenient for where the plot is supposed to go. This valuing of convenience over writing that is verisimilitudinous (i'm so fucking sorry) to the previously established characterization and world combined with this tendency of abandoning lingering plot threads rather than resolving them is, imo, why the movie arc feels so weird and all over the place. BUT this post is long enough and wtfever is going on with the movie arc is worthy of its own ramble at some point so I'll cut myself off here.

As for my hopes, I really want us to loop back around to having Ruby address her lingering trauma over Sarina's illness and abandonment. That felt like an arc that was sooooooo long in the making for Ruby and having it just swept off the table is really frustrating. Other than that, I don't have any really big hopes for the future other than just hoping everyone's arcs tie off nicely.

In particular, I hope Aqua's arc has some good resolution... my son has gone through it and I do really just want him to have some happiness at the end of the day. Please let my boy smile, Akasaka!!!

[warmhealerr]

Big and not terribly interesting DND chars rambling sorry, but I do find it compelling how central the theme of Gender has become to the Gnome family. I am not just talking about at least two of the siblings being trans (though it is not to be ignored of course), I mean how much of their pain and the tragedy surrounding them is informed by both maternal and paternal families' expectations.

Mother says draconic blood runs in the girls of the family only (untrue, but she doesn't know that) and as such girls are especially important and strong. Father says he is proud of owning the family farm, being his own father's son, and his grandfather's grandson, and his great-great-great grandfather's great-great-great grandson. Neither mother nor father are outspoken dismissive bio essentialists, but their proud, "gendered" heritage and the way they try to nurture its greatness sets up their children for failure, as they all end up at odds with what they deem they are expected to be. Inherent traits and extreme bad luck further fostering insecurities. Zilkon didn't look like the average cis male deep gnome for a while (not bald before BG3) and he was proud of that, he liked standing out. He didn't want to be the eldest son crumbling under the responsibility of his heritage and his physical appearance was the only thing separating him from this depressed mess he had become trying to live up to everyone's expectations, the "strongest". He never let them down but he never got a break to exist for someone else. Mischkit wanted to be a big strong actually useful and beloved by everyone man so bad, especially witnessesing Zilkon's failures, because deep down it was just too hard to admit being a woman to himself and others especially in a family where being a woman had shifted from being grand to being pitiful through Oulmat's birth and their many sisters' painful deaths. Oulmat is nearly always worrying about being eaten alive and stepped on because she's always felt like a weak little thing, being born without draconic heritage and bad with learning the Weave, the promise of "every girl" in her family. She's always been outperformed by men, who supposedly should've been weaker. Even though her family would try to reassure her she only ever grew more scared and bitter and subconsciously A LOT of her issues whether her self perception or how she interacts with the world have stemmed from her failing what she expected she should achieve. The only men she has no issues with are Zilkon and Baltumal, who when you look at them are GNC both in presentation and what she expects men to behave like. She DOES have issues with Joufos' transition too, as he basically abandoned the "sacred woman" role to be just some damn guy, yet another man on top of her with everything she was promised, though she keeps that bitterness on the inside (or tries, it does slip out). Joufos has obviously gone through the hell of gender being an openly trans man, who's spent his childhood with girl if not "powerful womanhood" forced down his throat when he wanted none of it, as he aligned himself with his dad and Mischkit's performance of masculinity. His transition was supported by everyone of course, but gender is a very bitter deal to him. He isn't particularly wise, but sometimes, he notices a bit more than everyone else how generational gender roles have shaped his family despite them saying otherwise. This isn't even discussing all the dead fucking siblings (5 of them, this family is a castle of bones) and how they've both suffered and contributed to the problem individually.

All in all it's the kinda parents that expect a new baby and immediately start planning everything based on gender despite saying they don't care, and when the child actually is here you can tell how the family's perception and desires around the kid's "gender" affects the parenting style drastically even with no hard nos around gendered stuff (as I am currently witnessing with my family raising my own little brother).

I'm not a big fan of gender essentialism nor assigned sex being the focus especially in fantasy, but I really can't look at all these characters and their problems and pretend Gender isn't the thing they should bring up at a group therapy session, neither do I want to erase such an interesting implicit source of conflict as the writer. To think all this started because I gave Joufos funny pink hair and I was like "This guy is trans and the pink hair is a draconic thing" nearly a year ago.

[roobylavender]

genuinely curious bcs everyone and their mother is obsessed w barbie, why do u hate it lol ?? like criticism wise u mentioned the director before but anything else beyond that ? ( i haven’t watched it yet so i have no opinion)

the most pressing issue is that mattel is very clearly using it as a test to gauge whether it can create a cinematic universe consisting of its other sub properties so the entire movie is essentially nothing more than a greedy cash grab (which yes you could say most mainstream movies are cash grabs but i would liken this to the marvel movies wherein it's clear that intellectual property is used to maximally capitalize on a piece of media until it makes the most profit imaginable) and this is exacerbated by the fact that the movie pretends to criticize mattel and the purpose of barbie wrt consumerism but like. the movie is literally produced by mattel lmao. like no criticism within a movie being produced by the criticized entity is actually going to consist of genuine and good faith criticism. and obv most people's response to that has been well surely you couldn't expect anything more than liberal feminism from a barbie movie and it's like yeah i couldn't but that doesn't make it any less evil. a corporation pretending to appear self aware about its contribution to consumerism all the while funneling money into a project that only further encourages consumerism at a clearly exponential rate is evil. and maybe it's a harsh assessment on my part but i seriously am judging people who pay to see this movie bc of that!

when you get to the actual movie though my most severe criticism of it would be that it entrenches itself deeply in a bioessentialist gender binary. like idk if you've noticed all of the posts from people like wow girls are dressing up again and wearing pink and being encouraged to do girly things isn't that so amazing! it's like that infamous tumblr post that says liberal feminism discourse eventually circles back to what sounds like let men be masculine let women be feminine etc etc. the movie basically tries to create this metaphor via barbieland wherein the kens are the dismissed minority adjacent to what women are in the real world, in a satirical attempt to convey that feminism should not actually be about female dominance (what they purport barbie has come to represent) but about equality of the sexes and equality in the ability to pursue whatever you want to (hence a barbie does not have to conform to unattainable standards of success for women and a ken does not have to merely exist for the sake of barbie). which i will admit does have the potential to be a good message as far as liberal feminist movies will go, and there is a scene towards the end with barbie and ken where this is explained that happens to be one of two scenes i actually liked in the whole movie. but the problem is that the movie does an utterly shit job of actually building up to it, and it still ultimately sticks to and makes guiding posts of traditional notions of gender insofar as kens being masculine and barbies being feminine. the last few minutes of the movie involve barbie becoming a real woman bc she no longer wants to simply be an idea, so in her final scene she goes to a gynecologist bc she now has a vagina (something she did not have prior). and again like i'm not expecting a barbie movie of all things to have revolutionary takes on gender but i simply think the messaging is severely undermined when you're relying strictly on the gender binary to carry your storytelling. to the point that i believe all of the transphobic backlash to the movie is not only a consequence of people's own transphobia but also of the movie's inability to have anything but an utterly shallow take on feminism entrenched in the gender binary that merely believes we can learn by switching places with each other

and i mean on top of having shallow messaging it's simply.. not a well built movie lmao. the plot progression is haphazard and inconsistent due to an inability to flesh out either barbieland or the real world. america ferrera is the hero of the story bc her monologue about what women are expected to be by society is able to break the brainwashing spell over the barbies who have found themselves subservient to a ken takeover in barbieland once ken learns about patriarchy in the real world. but america ferrera is never actually developed as a character. we have one brief montage to indicate she has a poor relationship with her daughter bc she has always loved barbies whereas her daughter hasn't (the daughter also lectures barbie about how she's a fascist who encourages capitalism and consumerism. lol) but that relationship is never actually developed or dissected. we go from them seemingly not getting along to suddenly being the best of friends bc they go back to barbieland with barbie and decide to help her fix things and america's inspirational monologue brings her daughter around to barbie as a concept. it's just.. utterly silly. like not even in a good way silly, it's just stupid

and it frustrates me bc i do think there was a lot of potential to do something with the mother-daughter relationship esp considering its importance to the ending thesis of the movie in a scene between ruth handler and barbie (the other scene in the movie i actually enjoyed). like i would have been okay with a movie that acknowledged barbie was an influential media property for older women who had grown accustomed to nurturing baby dolls as children in preparation for motherhood, while acknowledging that barbie was no longer necessarily the same symbol of empowerment for modern generations of women bc of how the feminist movement has progressed and evolved. it's why i honestly think the movie should have been about the mother and daughter exclusively. like i don't even think barbieland should have existed nor barbies and kens been real characters bc it took away so much from conveying a message with even a drop of integrity. america's eventual monologue is so universal and lifeless and bland that it appeals exactly to the kind of crowd who are now making tiktoks and reels that the barbie movie is important for teaching people about feminism. like ok. sure. fuck you to intersectional feminism or anything grounded in the realities of anyone else other than white women whose only concern is not being able to conform to standards of success in the real world (and the ironic thing is the movie even makes an aside that margot robbie is the wrong person to cast to convey such a message, but like. what am i supposed to do with that. it accomplishes nothing)

i said as much on twt but i simply think there is no point to try to make a movie critiquing the scope of barbie when the answer is still ultimately barbie. a critique of barbie has to end in something other than barbie and when your movie is being produced by mattel that will never actually happen. which i do think can branch off into conversations about intellectual property and how creators are largely restricted from ever expanding upon properties they loved as children bc their ownership by media entities restricts creative output from the start (see: cape comics!). but i don't even think this is a matter of greta gerwig being restricted. she genuinely believes in this shtick bc she's always believed in it. her feminism starts and stops at white feminism and the smattered in visibility of minorities to feel like she is doing her part as an ally, when ultimately, she is doing nothing. lady bird and little women are not as offensive in this regard (albeit you may remember the latter movie has a very brief moment where marmy speaks to a nameless black woman as a moment of token recognition) bc their primary focus is not feminism and bc they are either constrained by autobiography or adaptation. it's great speaking either to what she knows or to what the author of a book knows. barbie is a movie about feminism, so it works best to reveal how utterly out of her depth greta gerwig is in that area as she tries to apply herself everywhere and fails. when people say it's better for straight white women to stick to what they know rather than rush to represent everyone in their work, they're right. there's no use in representing that which you will never live nor understand. and if people do identify with greta gerwig's brand of feminism, then i think it says a lot about how shallow their feminism actually is

[katyspersonal]

Damian and Mico cute headcanons 🙏

☁️ Damian would be 'fatherly' (or motherly? xd) partner for Mico, as he is somewhat older and is quite mature and more stable emotionally. Micolash could really find the most comfort in collected partner that could calm him down. Micolash can be an intense person! He had quite emotional problems, PTSD and nightmares even before the cosmic horrors, but Damian naturally would want to hold a person like this and tell them it will all be okay.

🐚 On the other hand, Damian's softness and caring attitude leaves him vulnerable for anxiety episodes. He has to watch all these darn kids go insane and is powerless to pull them back! But whereas Damian is very stoic person that is good at suppressing such feelings to be the "strong one" in any company, Micolash is a person he can open up about this vulnerable side to. Mico knows a lot about herbs and meds, and is able to make good tea, incense and other stuff to calm the nerves. So, he will take care of Damian, always able to identify when Damian is at his mental limit and not acting as his usual self. No one else is able to see past Damian's poker face like that! x)

☁️ They actually happen to share a lot of skills and knowledge. Both can cook well and love doing that, both love animals and can take care of them (sweet simpler times BEFORE Micolash would start switching heads of crows and dogs with one another ;-;), both have advanced medical skills, all that. Damian used to keep the vivarium at Byrgenwerth and using his biology knowledge to help with studying weird plantlife and fauna, but Micolash was a rare case when Damian had almost nothing to teach him...?

🐚 Them both being so similar in their life skills would make it not certain who does what chores, so they'd have to decide whose turn it is now through playing a game (from rock-paper-scissors to chess)! EXCEPT for cleaning. This one is always on Damian because Micolash is too lost in thoughts to watch his surroundings x)

☁️ Micolash would soon surpass Damian in his skills though, becoming way more advanced in both medicine and arcane. In my "official" timeline at some point the dynamic would slightly shift to Damian being more like a butler/bodyguard/assistant than a 'dad'! You might remember me depicting Damian helping Micolash to dress up for an event or kissing his hand. He is to Micolash what Yurie is to Rom, but he would not mind. In the 'nothing bad happened and everyone lives' or 'modern' AU, Damian would just straight up end in this role, taking care of Micolash's room, meals and schedule, whereas Micolash would be that wonky scientist type always too into his research to remember his basic needs.

🐚 Basically, they have potential for* both* very equal and supportive relationship and for more clearly distributed 'roles'. Which way it shifts just depends on how interested Micolash would be in healing and simple life pleasures, I bounce between two versions of this dynamic for this reason!

☁️ Perhaps not very 'cute' one, but Micolash would be rather possessive over Damian, feeling very uneasy if Damian gives a lot of attention to someone else. At least a couple of times, he pulled Damian away from someone that also needed his care and attention. This is usually the subject of their fights. Micolash becomes a LOT like a little baby when he gets jealous, just... straight up the vibe of a son of a single mother that will be upset if she tries to date someone because he wants her attention just to himself. Abandonment issues, man. I'd say although this is unhealthy, it is sort of... bittersweet reason for the fights? Sometimes Damian would manage to reassure Micolash that he is still the most loved person for him and he'd get to him as soon as he'd help that other friend/student/whatever. While waiting for Damian to be "all his" again, Micolash would become even more aloof than usual, spending the entire wait time making something nice for Damian (like a cake, a drawing, sewing him some cute shirt, etc). Not just for the sake of Damian, but for his own too, as that'd feel like connection while being separated.

🐚 They really love sea shells, both of them. If they could go to the beach properly, they'd collect a lot of them. And end up trashing their house with them, too, because none of them would have the heart to not hoard -_-" Collecting cool rocks is their second favourite thing. Basically, their 'dates' tend to be going on adventure somewhere to collect various wonders of nature! They legit need someone more reasonable to stop them and understand they do not need that much stuff hoarded xD

☁️ They have mismatched sleep schedules, like, very much so. So since there is a problem with going to bed at the same time, they read each other books before sleep! Damian will read him various stories, and Micolash would read him creepy ass scientifical research papers on experiments, surgery etc. Damian still sleeps like a baby tho because what matters is that Mico sounds genuinely excited and is sharing something he loves with him xD

_____________

Thank you for the ask!

[ldlingsomewhere]

As with anything that matters, the language we use to describe “mental illness” is all wrong. Mental illness is “real,” as real as a tumor, but not the same kind of real as a tumor. Its effects are measurable, in blood pressure or hours slept, or noticeable, in weird hand gestures or an erratic mode of speaking, but mental illness has no shape or volume; its size cannot be conveyed through comparisons to fruits and vegetables. It becomes real in the description of its effects, in the naming of everything around it, rather than in attempts to define it, though we have many words and phrases that approach the task. “Disturbance” is funny, and accurate, because it refers both to the internal condition and what it produces: behavior that might unsettle oneself or others. I become “nervous” in small-stakes situations of short or predetermined time frames; “nervousness” no longer describes the anxious disposition, as it did in the past, but the feeling of being anxious about a specific thing that is usually imminent. I’m “neurotic” because I know the basics of psychoanalysis and am a fast-talking big-city professional; I’m “neurasthenic” because I know the word. My mother used to call herself, as well as me, a “worrywart”; to “worry” is to fidget with something in the mind. “Panic” is acute, “attack” is very acute, and a “fit” is a cute version of a “panic attack”; “throwing a fit” is what children do and what adults do when they are “freaking out” while simultaneously making childish demands. Like “freaking out,” “going insane” is applicable as a joke in retrospect, though it became too popular on the Internet and lost its edge, particularly because the sort of people who said it were just the sort who ought to be arguing that the usage stigmatizes people with mental illnesses. I still indulge in “crazy,” which is classic, and permitted, I think, because I am. “Distressed” is the joke version of nervous, though someone “in distress” is being euphemized, as is someone “behaving erratically.” A “crisis” is both intense and prolonged; a “spiral” is a crisis about one issue, characterized by repetitive and catastrophic thinking, and “spiralling” may feature prominently in crises, but in a slightly funny way. I fear having a true “breakdown,” which suggests, to me, among other things, a failure of speech, but I also fantasize about having a true breakdown for the same reason. I am rarely, if ever, “hysterical”; that’s sexist. “Mentally ill” is, of course, insufficient, though when I have seen other people “in crisis” I have thought I actually understand the term. The concept of “mental health,” did you know, comes from Plato, who said that it could be cultivated through the elimination of passion by reason. Today, good mental health means something like the elimination of both passion and reason.

Unless I’m about to appear onstage, in which case I am “nervous,” I describe myself as “anxious” so that people know I’m serious: this is not a passing worry but a constant state, and if I were to seek a medical diagnosis I would get one, handily. The question “Why don’t you?” naturally arises. The answer is that I do not feel it would help, and might even create more problems than it solves. In medicine, the problem of language is a problem of classification; I do not seek a diagnosis, probably, because I do not want to be trapped in a single term. (I hate being trapped, you might have noticed.) Like everyone else’s, my mind dabbles in an array of mental illnesses to create a bespoke product, and I find all the terms I know either ludicrously broad or ludicrously specific.

Lauren Oyler, My Anxiety: Is what’s wrong with me what’s wrong with everyone else?

[justiicar]

what was samara’s relationship with morinth like before morinth got diagnosed with AY syndrome?

So I've actually given this a lot of thought, and what gets me about it is that Mirala doesn't just have the ardat yakshi gene issue, she is also a sociopathic serial killer. And we know that these things aren't mutually exclusive because there's a whole ass monastery dedicated to housing ardat yakshi who don't want to hurt anyone. One could make the argument that maybe there are ardat yakshi in the monastery who do want to hurt people but they don't want to face the consequences of that and so they simply choose not to, which I'm sure is possible, but we also see that Rila and Falere are basically normal women psychologically (aside from the trauma their defect has undoubtedly caused them, etc etc). So for me, it seems like these two conditions are coincidental and unrelated. If that's the case, then by definition Mirala was born a sociopath and this would have effected her relationships with everyone around her from childhood.

Mirala is highly likely to have been extremely difficult and even abusive to be around, even as a young child. She would be prone to lying and especially to manipulating others, preferring to get what she wants through trickery rather than simply asking for it. She'd probably have a very high opinion of herself and often think less of others, even possibly her parents. Her general outlook on life would be an entitled one where she felt the world owed her something because she was special or better than her peers. She would have had very poor impulse control, which especially in childhood would mean a lot of handsy behavior like pushing or shoving other children, hitting and biting, that sort of thing. There would definitely have been early behavioral problems before the onset of puberty and a clear lack of empathy for others.

The only reason it wouldn't be obvious to others how self centered Mirala is would be because of her fake charm, easy manipulation, and constant lying. Like all other relationships Mirala would have had in her youth, the one she had with her mother would have been based solely on what benefits Mirala could get out of the relationship and have little to no reciprocity, which may have been less obvious in childhood since children do rely on their parents, but I also think Mirala was less likely to be affectionate with others and would throw scorched earth temper tantrums when she didn't get her way. I think although she might "love" her family in her own limited way, Mirala is unlikely to really be capable of a true love where you take into account and prioritize someone else's wellbeing, and that this might be something offputting in her early years.

My conclusion is that although it may not have been clear to anyone what Mirala was as a child, her relationship with Samara would not have been like Samara's relationships with her other daughters in that Mirala isn't capable of genuine deep feelings toward anyone but herself and that Samara would have known something was wrong or going on with Mirala but probably didn't know what was the cause or source of the problem, as this wouldn't have become clear unless Mirala had started hurting other children very seriously, which is possible but unlikely.

[pridepages]

eARC Review: Most Ardently

A HUGE thank you to Netgalley and MacMillan/Feiwel & Friends for providing me an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

RATING: ⭐⭐⭐.5

GOODREADS SYNOPSIS:  

 trans boy searches for a future―and a romance―in which he can live and love openly as himself in this heartrending young-adult reimagining of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, part of the Remixed Classics series.

London, 1812. Oliver Bennet feels trapped. The world, and the vast majority of his family and friends, think Oliver is a girl named Elizabeth. He is therefore expected to mingle at balls wearing a pretty dress, entertain suitors regardless of his interest in them, and ultimately become someone's wife. Oliver can't bear the thought of such a fate. He finds solace in the few times he can sneak out of his family's home and explore the city rightfully dressed as a young gentleman.

Oliver becomes acquainted with Darcy, a sulky young man who had been rude to "Elizabeth" at a recent social function. But in the comfort of being out of the public eye, Oliver comes to find that Darcy is actually a sweet, intelligent boy with a warm heart, not to mention attractive.

As Oliver spends more time as his true self, often with Darcy, part of him dares to hope that his dream of love and life as a man can be possible. But suitors are growing bolder―and even threatening―and his mother is growing more desperate to see him settled into an engagement. Oliver will have to choose: settle for safety, security, and a life of pretending to be something he's not, or risk it all for a slim chance at freedom, love, and a life that can be truly his own.

RELEASE DATE: January 16, 2024

See my full review under the cut!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that no one does Austen like Jane.

This is the problem I had with Written in the Stars as well. Much as part of me longs for a queer retelling of her novels, no contemporary author has yet matched her in my eyes. Unfortunately, the same holds true for Gabe Cole Novoa's Most Ardently.

To be clear: I enjoyed this book! If nothing else, it's a fascinating twist on the original. As one of the Remixed Classics series, it does its job: recasting and reimagining the original. The goal of the project was to have different authors approach a western "classic" with a twenty-first-century lens and reinvigorate the texts to make them, frankly, less white and cisheterosexual.

The idea of transforming Austen's 'Elizabeth' Bennet by teasing out her less than conventionally feminine traits and creating 'Oliver' Bennet certainly speaks to the social issues of both Austen's day (male supremacy and primogeniture) and ours (rising extreme conservativism/homophobia/transphobia).

So where did this one miss the mark? It doesn't speak as directly to the themes of the original book.

Anna-Marie Mclemore's Self-Made Boys is another of the Remixed Classics: a take on Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. In this version, no one is straight (except Tom Buchanan, but fuck him), some are not white, and both Nick and Gatsby are transboys in love. What made it work better as a 'remix' is that Mclemore did a brilliant job putting their version in direct dialogue with the themes of the original. Gatsby is all about the American Dream: race, class, social mobility, greed, ambition, and identity. In the original, very white cisheterosexual notions of class privilege and social values are presented. McLemore took a chance to shine a light on what it meant for everyone else to be outsiders at this time. Even the title and the idea of making the two leads transmen put a fresh, subversive spin on the concept of being a 'self-made boy.'

Novoa had an opportunity here and failed to take it. Elizabeth Bennet is a deceptive character: she's charming and fun, but she's written in a way that makes the reader fall into her prejudgments and prejudices without realizing that she's misjudged everyone until the big reveal.

On the other hand, Oliver Bennet is basically right about everyone the whole time. To be clear, his story is one that--unfortunately--most trans people experience: the constant misgendering and dysphoria, the fear of coming out, the fear that even if they do they won't be accepted, and the fear of being outed against their will. But the crux of Pride and Prejudice is that both Elizabeth and Darcy are a little bit wrong and a little bit right. They both need to grow up as much as they need to learn how to value each other.

Even Novoa's Darcy lacks the same spark. Darcy of the original is stifled, socially awkward, and arrogant. His pride comes out as hostility, which he fails to recognize is a character flaw until Elizabeth Bennet comes along to show him just how much he needs to shape up!

No matter how many times Oliver tries to tell me that Darcy is awful...I just don't see it. (Maybe once during the meet-ugly at the ballroom?) Probably because Oliver meets Darcy several times as his true self and they get along swimmingly every time. So their story becomes one of mistaken identity...less P&P and more Cinderella.

So what would I have wanted to see? Basically, I would have wanted Oliver Bennet to be a more likable Neil Kearney from Mason Deaver's The Feeling of Falling in Love. Give me a flawed yet still endearing Oliver who is so caught up in expecting and fearing homophobia/transphobia that he lashes out at Darcy, instantly writing him off as a butch straight guy. Give me scenes where Darcy is closeted and terrified, which comes out as hostility. Give me a journey where both of them have to gradually learn to see the other as they are and to admit where they each can do better. Show me that same level of, well...pride and prejudice getting confronted and improved.

In the end, Most Ardently feels less like a Pride and Prejudice remix and more like a gay trans regency romance. And that's great! We all deserve to see ourselves in every genre. But if you're looking for a true homage to Austen...

Tell me if you find one. I've yet to find anyone who can do it like Jane!

[teenmomcentral]

Catelynn Lowell‘s family feud rages on!

Just a week or so after Catelynn blasted her mom April, teen brother Nick and grandma Judi on social media, Nick released a new video directly addressing his sister— and revealing why he dislikes Cate’s husband, Tyler Baltierra.

Nick’s new video— which was posted to his YouTube channel on Wednesday— also defends April, and doubles down on the accusations he made last week about Ty and Cate taking their kids’ money, and about Tyler’s sexuality. 

“Last week my family— and all of our problems— went viral on social media after my sister leaked screenshots out of context, that [were] posted to her Instagram with nearly 5 million followers,” Nick begins his video.

He states that he said some things about his sister’s finances and about Catelynn’s husband Tyler Baltierra that he regrets. (Nick basically stated that Cate and Ty took money from their kids’ bank accounts to pay off their nearly $1 million tax debt. He also stated that Tyler has a boyfriend in Arizona.) 

While Nick said he regrets making those statements, he insists he was telling the truth.

“While I maintain that the things that I said were true, it wasn’t my place to talk about, so I wanted to start off this video by apologizing to my sister,” Nick said. 

Here’s a breakdown of some of the other topics Nick discussed in his video.

On why he doesn’t like Tyler & the person he says Catelynn’s become because of Tyler:

“I love my sister. I just don’t like who she’s become over the years, and I don’t blame her,” he said. “I want to make that very clear. The problem isn’t my sister, it’s the person she’s married to.”

“I used to love Tyler, but I feel like Tyler doesn’t like us and he’s never really tried to hide that. Recently, my feelings toward Tyler have changed. I don’t like Tyler because of the way he treats my sister.”

Nick then placed a few quick clips of Tyler insulting Catelynn’s weight (including the infamous “I don’t want no heifer for a wife” scene.) 

“I can’t and won’t respect a man who tells my sister that he’ll love her no matter what, then proceeds to call her a heifer; a person who says he doesn’t care how she feels, a person who would constantly drag her down about her weight, and make her cry herself to sleep,” Nick said. 

“She couldn’t even slice a pizza without Tyler telling her he’s afraid of how big she’ll get,” Nick said, adding that Tyler has allegedly made comments about how people with weight problems “disgust him.” 

“If he can say these things in front of MTV cameras, what does he say behind closed doors?”

“The truth is, I miss my sister. Well, the person that she used to be,” Nick added.

On fans’ claims that Nick & April use Catelynn for her money: 

Cate has banked literally millions in ‘Teen Mom’ cash over the years, but Nick insisted that, despite what people say, their family feud has nothing to do with money. 

“My mother and I have made our own money off of MTV and ‘Teen Mom’ and we have never, and will never, need her money,” Nick said. 

On Catelynn’s relationship with April:

Nick stated that the majority of the family’s issues are between Catelynn and April. (As The Ashley previously reported, Catelynn was angry last week that April drank while she was with Cate and Ty on their recent visit with their biological daughter, Carly. April’s drinking has caused a lot of problems between her and Cate over the years.) 

“I don’t like our mom being vilified when she had one beer when everyone else around her was drinking, which you know is a trigger for her,” Nick said. “Mom loves you, and your children. She even babysits them whenever you want her to. All she asks in return is for you to not vilify her on TV or social media. 

“She has done everything that she can to repair the relationship she once had with you that was ruined because of TV.”

“I love my mom and I’m so proud of all the progress she’s made over the years,” Nick said. “Was she a perfect mom? No. Does she have a lot of regrets when it comes to her children? Of course.”

Nick went on to say that, because she’s been on ‘Teen Mom’ for so long, it’s easy for fans to “villify” April without really knowing her.

“My mother used to struggle with mental health and depression. She has since pulled herself away from that,” he said. “So whenever I see someone trying to bully her, I take offense to that. My mom is literally my best friend, and I’ll go toe-to-toe with anybody for her, because she’s not the person that social media thinks she is. I wish you guys knew that.”

On Catelynn & Tyler’s claims that he stole from them:

At this point in the video, things get a bit weird.

Nick addresses Catelynn’s claim that Nick stole from her and Tyler. He states that he has never stolen from them, and that the item that was allegedly stolen from the Baltierra home was some sort of microphone.

Nick goes on to claim that he’s “95 percent innocent” of the theft crimes he’s been accused of. (Um…?) He then claims that he was “threatened by the person who stole it” at knifepoint (as you are…)

“I was told that if I ever told anybody about it, he would un-alive me,” Nick said. “He then forced me to text this guy and mess with him for about a month, which I stupidly did.”

(Um…?)

“But when they accused me, I tried to tell them what actually happened, and even went out of my way to prove my innocence,” Nick continued. 

While he doesn’t reveal who the knife-threatening thief is, he does state that he’s allegedly someone who is related to Tyler.

Nick’s story gets wild, bringing in fake cops and lie-detector tests, naturally.

“[Tyler] convinced [Catelynn] that I was lying, and even went out of his way to make me look guilty,” Nick said. “First, a friend of theirs even impersonated a cop and interrogated me over the phone. And then they went out of their way to pay for a lie-detector test that came out inconclusive.” 

(Last week, Nick showed screenshots of texts allegedly between him and Catelynn that talked about the lie-detector test.) 

“I’ve never lied to my sister and I’ve never stole from her. To have something like this hanging over us to a degree where I’m not allowed to see my own niece hurts more than anything Tyler could say about me.”

Nick claimed he only made the video because he wanted Catelynn to see it, and she has blocked him from communicating with her other ways.

Cate and Ty have yet to publicly respond to Nick’s new video.

[soulmate-game]

Hawkmoth was a bitch, and Marinette meant that with every fiber of her soul. Fu was also a bitch, and Marinette actually had good memories of the guy. Not many, but she had some. The fact that the guy got two ten-year-olds to become super heroes and fight a supervillain for him kinda soured those memories, though. But with Chat Noir not allowed to leave his house? Yeah, even as young as they were it only took about a year to find out who HawkMoth was and another year to take him down.

Except, that left Marinette alone. The final battle took her mom away, and Chat had to move out of Paris after his dad was arrested. Luckily Jagged allowed her and her papa to move into his house in Gotham, and everything was…

Well, it was okay. For about a month.

Then her dad was gone too, and she had no way to talk to Jagged, and the police were scaring her—

Yeah, that was the basic order of events that led to where she was now. Pushing fourteen years old, ex-superhero, protector of a magical box of gods, stealing the tires off of a very nice motorcycle.

Marinette was tempted to just take the whole thing, she loved bikes and knew she could drive it. But the thing had more security than she knew what to do with, and the fact that it belonged to Red Hood… she didn’t want to deal with trackers today, thanks. So the tires it was.

Should she maybe care more about the fact that she was stealing from a vigilante with a violent streak? Maybe. Did she? Hell no. For all she knew, maybe Red Hood was a bitch too. (Yes, she was still learning English slang. She was fluent by educational standards, but learning how to curse in a foreign language was fun and she still had a little bit to go. Her few street friends were very happy to help).

A shadow dropped down in front of her, and Marinette’s hero instincts kicked in. The tire iron she was using cut through the air, slamming right into the side of Red Hood’s knee.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Hood,” Batman’s voice grumbled over the comms, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone else who was on the comms. It wasn’t as gruff as he usually sounded, in fact it almost sounded like… he was trying not to laugh?

“Did you get gassed by Joker?” Dick asked before Jason got a chance to respond. “Need backup?”

“No,” Batman responded, sounding a little more composed. “Not a rogue. But Hood, I need you to join me at my location as soon as possible.”

Finally getting the chance to talk, Jason responded a little warily; “Sure, B. Wait,” he blinked at the location that was sent to him. “Isn’t that where my bike is parked?”

Batman didn’t respond at first, only the sound of labored breathing— again, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Just get here, Hood.”

Sighing, but not too mad since the night had been fairly quiet so far, Jason decided to humor the old man and head over. When he could see the cape-clad back of Batman, he easily leapt over the last roof and sauntered over.

“Okay, B,” he had his thumbs tucked in his pockets as he drawled. “What’s the issue?”

Batman was grinning. As in, actually showing amusement. And he just pointed down, straight at Hood’s bike.

Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet, turning to look. At first he didn’t see anything amiss, until he saw movement and looked harder. Oh. Oh, holy shit.

“Is that a kid?”

“Yep,” Batman’s grin grew.

“Is she… stealing my tires?” Hood was so, so glad he wore a helmet that hid his expression. Because… wow.

“Yep,” Batman finally lost his composure, chuckling. “This seems like Karma, don’t you think?”

“And you just watched her so you could rub it in,” Jason groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. Of course he would. Nobody knew it (except the other heroes who knew him) but Batman was a petty little jerk when he wanted to be. He bought the whole Daily Planet just to spite Clark, for crying out loud.

“Don’t adopt her,” Batman said as he stood up, patting Red Hood’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s almost done.”

“Shit,” Jason hissed, looking down to see that she was, actually, very close to being done. She had already had one tire completely free by the time he had arrived, and now she was only seconds away from getting the other one completely free.

He took a quick assessment— she was tiny, and really thin. Definitely a street kid, he thought, though he didn’t recognize her. He knew most of the street kids that stole to get by, nowadays, which meant she must have been fairly new. But even though she seemed to know what she was doing, her small frame made her take longer unscrewing the tires than it normally would have taken. Sure that she wasn’t a threat by any stretch of the imagination, he jumped down. His plan had been to startle her a little by showing up out of nowhere, but he didn’t want to scare her too badly. Just make her jump a little.

But he had underestimated her, it seemed. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and swung her tire iron at his knee. He cursed, she was a lot faster than her had been expecting. He was able to move so that the weapon only clipped the side of his knee, his knee pad thankfully taking the worst of it. She still hit hard enough to make him stumble and hiss in pain though, which was an accomplishment.

That’s when she abandoned her weapon and her tires, darting to try and escape only for Batman to drop down and block her escape. Though really, it was the grin Batman had that scared the girl most of all, apparently, making her slowly back away from him.

“Please stop smiling,” she begged with a faint French accent to her words. “It is not natural.”

That made Red Hood laugh, already recovered and right behind her. He plopped a gloved hand on her head.

“I know, it’s creepy right?” He joked. “What’cha doin’ stealing my tires, kid? I kinda need them to drive anywhere,” he was careful to keep his voice light and devoid of any anger. He wasn’t really upset, all told. It would be hypocritical of him if he was.

She looked between the two vigilantes for a moment, clear intelligence behind those bright blue eyes as she seemed to consider something. Suddenly she pulled away from Red Hood and stepped away from his reach, straightening up and trying to look tall.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said as firmly as she could. “My father was Tom Dupain, he was killed in a mugging three months ago. We were living in a house that our family friend leant to us after my mother’s death six months ago, and we moved here from Paris. I haven’t been able to contact him, and the police… I don’t trust them,” she admitted, clearly seeing this as the chance she had been waiting for. “I have been living on the streets since my father died. I am sorry for trying to steal your tires, Monsieur Red Hood. But it was a risk I had to take.”

“Did you expect us to catch you?” He asked, crossing his arms as he re-evaluated the girl. She was a lot stronger than he had assumed earlier, both physically and mentally. She seesawed her hand to indicate ‘kinda’.

“Even if you didn’t, I could make good money off your tires,” she justified with a shrug. “To me, I would win either way.”

“Who is your family friend? Can he help you now, take you in?” Batman asked, moving forward and kneeling down to be closer to Marinette’s height. Neither he nor Jason had missed the part where she was an orphan, but they had expected that considering what they had caught her doing. And they both knew that she wasn’t likely to take any apologies they tried to offer very well. It was best not to show pity, or she might get angry.

Marinette frowned. “... Our family friend is Jagged Stone. He lets me call him Uncle Jagged,” she told them, clearly expecting the disbelieving grunts they gave. “I mean it! You can call him, he might even be looking for me! I—“

“We know,” Hood assured her, now kneeling down as well. Man, she was short. “Calm down, we know you’re telling the truth. Jagged has made several public announcements about his missing honorary niece, we just didn’t recognize your name right away. And Jagged doesn’t have access to very many pictures of you, those he does have the Mayor isn’t allowing him to show because that spineless jackass—“

“Language, Hood.”

“—Cares more about keeping bad press off the air than finding a kid, even if it’s a world famous rockstar who’s asking. That’s probably why you haven’t heard anything, the mayor’s keeping it off the radio and not many reporters are brave enough to take the story and get on his bad side.”

“Oh…” Marinette took a deep breath, fighting the tears that were threatening to rise up. “He has been looking…” she sniffled, curling in on herself a little. “Can you take me to him?”

“I think we can do that,” Batman agreed, standing up. “I’ll contact him. Red Hood, can you handle everything here until I give you a place to meet up with Jagged Stone?”

Jason nodded. “No problem, B. Come on, little rabid pixie. Step one of gettin’ you back to your uncle is to help me fix my bike back up.”

Marinette sighed, shoulders dropping. “All my hard work, undone…” she playfully complained. But in the end she didn’t argue or fight against it, she just sat down and helped him reattach his tires.

All the while, Jason’s family kept teasing him over the comms. Clearly they were also thoroughly amused by the cosmic display of karma.

“...Monsieur Hood,” Marinette asked once they were done repairing the motorcycle and he had given her his too-big extra helmet. He tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. She squirmed. “Can… can we stop by my hideout? I have something really important I have to get.”

Jason smiles gently under his mask. She might not have been a street kid for very long, but she really did bring back some memories for him. He got on his bike and held a hand out to her.

“Sure thing kid. Wanna grab something to eat after? Can’t have a reunion on an empty stomach.”

She gave him a lopsided smile— not quite overjoyed, but definitely hopeful and thankful. Maybe this was the end of her streak of bad luck, she could only hope.

“Only if you don’t mind, Monsieur Hood,” she agreed before taking his hand and letting him help her onto the bike.

“No skin off my back, pixie,” he assured her. Then they were off. He followed her directions until they got to an abandoned building about three miles away, not in a good part of town at all but at least not in crime alley. Marinette easily led him through the building, skirting around other piles of ratty blankets and up broken stairs until they got to the badly-maintained top floor. She led him over to an almost invisible door in the concrete wall that pulled out to reveal what was probably a broom closet once upon a time. It was crowded with what looked like junk and empty boxes, along with a few blankets and two or three changes of clothes that were clearly her’s. A few belongings scattered around— a book, a small pink purse, and… Marinette came out of the pile of mess holding what had clearly been a very carefully hidden box. She also grabbed the purse and slung it over her shoulder, but didn’t seem worried about anything else.

Jason frowned at the box. It wasn’t that big, but it was clearly made of old wood. There were intricate carvings that were painted pink, in a symbol that was itching at the back of his mind. He recognized that symbol, but from where?

“Ready to go, kid?” He asked as he thought about it, getting a nod from Marinette. Twenty minutes later they were at a Batburger, sitting in a shaded booth that couldn’t be seen from the street.

She never let the box out of her sight. She kept it on the seat next to her, and Jason noticed that she tried to keep one hand on it at all times. But when she spoke, now her French accent stood out to him even more than before. But why—?

And then it clicked. Paris. Hawkmoth. Ladybug, Chat Noir, magic artifacts called Miraculous. Wonder Woman had raised a fuss when the heroes disappeared, declaring that something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what. Then the magic users they trusted were called in, and returned from Paris with the grim news that the former Guardian of those artifacts had activated a failsafe and passed the guardianship on to someone else while erasing his own memories at the same time. But nobody knew who he could have passed it on to, so Batman had been given the green light to do all the research he and his team could into the Miraculous box to try and help track it down.

And here it was. The carvings were in pink now, which might have been the “cosmetic change” that Constantine had mentioned might happen when the box changed guardians. He had found the box full of super powerful magical artifacts… in the hands of a newly orphaned street kid who couldn’t have been older than fourteen at best.

What the hell?

“...” Red hood reached into his pocket and pulled out an old receipt and a sharpie. He scrawled on the back of the receipt and handed to Marinette. The girl was halfway into a bite of her burger when he did, and blinked at him owlishly before swallowing and cautiously reaching out to grab it. She frowned at the numbers scrawled there.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“My contact info,” he explained. “I won’t ask questions about why you have that box,” he watched her instantly stiffen but continued as casually as he could; “but it doesn’t matter. You can call me if you ever need help with anything, kid. Help with that box, help if you get in trouble in Gotham again, or even if you’re having a bad day. You can call me for whatever, got it? I don’t care if you think it’s stupid, if you can’t talk to anyone else in your life you can always call or text me and I’ll do whatever I can. Got it?”

“...” Marinette sniffled for a second and looked down at the table in silence for a second. “... what if I want your motorcycle?” she joked, but the watery tone of her voice gave her away.

Jason laughed, patting her head. “I need my bike, but we can talk about getting you your own once you are old enough to get a license. You almost done? Bats says that Jagged is ready to meet you, I can take you to him right now.”

“Yeah, lets go!” she was newly energized and shoved the last bite of burger into her mouth greedily. “And Red Hood?” She asked as they headed out to where he had parked.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Thanks.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Permanent tag list (I remembered it this time!)

@rosalineandrosemary @neakco @justanotherfanficlovinbitch @trippingovermyfeet @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @bigpicklebananatree @fantasylover-92 @prongs-flowers @jumpingjoy82 @prettylittlebutterflie @queenz-z @literaryhiraeth @waffelyunsure @deathssilentapproach-blog @waiting247 @theirlmikan @unoriginalmess

[linkspooky]

Yuji, Alone. 

I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support. 

Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut. 

1. Yuji and Geto

If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.” 

Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all. 

Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people. 

This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?

Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously. 

To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society. 

Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.

Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap. 

Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences. 

To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid. 

Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested. 

Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only. 

However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo. 

Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other. 

"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.

Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)

All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?

Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things.  Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with. 

Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them. 

Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.

Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else. 

2. Avoidant Attachment

This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother. 

Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years. 

Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one. 

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help. 

Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped. 

During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people. 

And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own. 

It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo. 

I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.

It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others. 

I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.

Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird.  I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.

At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional. 

Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions. 

Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him. 

Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone.