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marzipanandminutiae · 7 months ago

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thoughts on "tradwives" as a 19th-century social historian

It's great until it's not.

It's great until he develops an addiction and starts spending all the money on it.

It's great until you realize he's abusive and hid it long enough to get you totally in his power (happened to my great-great-aunt Irene).

It's great until he gets injured and can't work anymore.

It's great until he dies and your options are "learn a marketable skill fast" or "marry the first eligible man you can find."

It's great until he wants child #7 and your body just can't take another pregnancy, but you can't leave or risk desertion because he's your meal ticket.

It's great until he tries to make you run a brothel as a get-rich-quick scheme and deserts you when you refuse, leaving your sisters to desperately fundraise so your house doesn't get foreclosed on (happened to my great-great-aunt Mamie).

It's great until you want to leave but you can't. It's great until you want to do something else with your life but you can't. It's great. Until. It's. Not.

I won't lie to you and say nobody was ever happy that way. Plenty of women have been, and part of feminism is acknowledging that women have the right to choose that sort of life if they want to.

But flinging yourself into it wholeheartedly with no sort of safety net whatsoever, especially in a period where it's EXTREMELY easy for him to leave you- as it should be; no-fault divorce saves lives -is naive at best and dangerous at worst.

Have your own means of support. Keep your own bank account; we fought hard enough to be allowed them. Gods willing, you never need that safety net, but too many women have suffered because they needed it and it wasn't there.

#history #women's history #pregnancy mention #my mother (born 1953) drilled this into me from an early age: have a safety net. have a skill and keep it up to date. have your own money #NEVER join bank accounts. keep a hold on your assets.#well and good to be a stay-at-home wife and mother- I know other lesbians who want that even!#but if your partner is your sole financial support...you're courting danger IMO

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news4dzhozhar · 8 months ago

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hometoursandotherstuff · 8 months ago

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Here's another custom home designed to be the owners dreamhouse. This 9bd, 4.5ba 2002 estate in Yantis, Texas is bank owned and for sale for just $549K. You would think that an estate for that price would've sold, but it's been on the market for over 210 days.

Hmmm. Huge dining room is actually a sun porch with a metal ceiling.

I thought that this was the living room, and maybe it is, until I saw the fridge standing there.

This is kitchen #1. Not terribly impressive.

The dinette area has a poker table. Did you notice that a bedroom was next to the family room and double doors open to a bedroom in here. Strange floorplan.

Okay, this is the living room. Very spacious. Looks there's a bedroom through those double doors, too.

And, this is kitchen #2. Looks like they painted over the dated oak cabinets with black.

There are 9 bedrooms. This is one of them, and I don't see a window.

Bedroom #2 has paned glass doors, but it doesn't look like they open to the outside.

This bedroom also has double doors. Maybe they go out to a courtyard or hall.

This bedroom has a small en-suite.

This large bedroom looks like a sun room.

I can't tell which bedroom is the primary.

2 room bath. The shower is in room of its own.

There are 2 tracts of land, and the buyer must purchase them both. This 6 boat bay is on tract #2- The area is noted for Bass fishing.

Courtyard in the middle of the house has a covered patio and a 2nd uncovered patio, but no pool.

There is a garage and a carport.

The front of the home has a porte cochere and some sort of feature for a plant, I guess.

The entire property measures 2.58 acres.

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/214-County-Road-1900_Yantis_TX_75497_M99433-41038

#estates #bank owned property #unusual homes #custom built homes #houses #house tours #home tour

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coyoxxtl · 8 months ago

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when people say falin had “pretty girl privilege” with how people treated her autism are insane like, she wasnt at that magic school by choice, she was sent there by her father because everyone in their community shunned her. and when she was there everyone but marcille thought she was a weirdo and didn’t fuck with her so, literally what are y’all talking about

#like sure this is all more apparent in the manga but even in the anime you can Tell that being pretty got her nowhere #you can argue her autism was harder on falin Because shes a girl. at least laios left home by his own volition #falin was literally an Embarrassment to her father. enough to send her away for convenience. laios truly has to be mad for the both of them #just bc shuro is a stupid lovesteuck man doesn’t mean shes rly banking on Pretty Privilege #dungeon meshi #falin touden

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cuteniarose · 3 months ago

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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's #and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in #+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me #in the rain #I nearly fucking died #I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on #nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge #it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks #I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer #and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while #also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful #which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't #bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money #anyway. getting distracted again #do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did #and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here #sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account #I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still #I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth #I don't really care enough to look it up #the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want #if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is #also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later

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helianskies · 2 years ago

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fuck it arthur lives on a canal boat now

#get wet idiot #hws england #hetalia #you can't tell me he wouldnt kinda enjoy it though #imagine him doing old man things #the little potted garden on the roof #fishing on the canal bank #he can travel up and down the country via the canal system #even if he did have a permanent non moving home i firmly believe he owns his rosie and jim boat im not sorry

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hairtusk · 10 months ago

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while the dinner with family yesterday was awful, I heard a story from my grandma that was genuinely chilling, and made me think of this sudden resurgence of 'stay at home girlfriend' or trad content that is being pushed online. basically, my grandma's male friend recently had a massive stroke, and is in a hospice essentially just waiting to pass away. this has really put his partner into dire straits - he never got married to his girlfriend of 30ish years, and now, she's living in (his) house that she has no legal right to occupy. she's been a stay-at-home partner, so she has no pension, no savings, no money whatsoever to move out. and the man's family (who *do* have a legal right to his house) are hovering like vultures ready to take possession. this woman is in her 70s, and has absolutely nothing in the world now that he's on his deathbed. i cannot imagine a scarier situation to find oneself in.

#'soft life' 'kept woman' 'stay-at-home girlfriend' UNTIL THE MAN SUPPORTING YOU DIES OR LEAVES YOU #and if you're not even married to him you have absolutely no legal right to any of the capital you might have helped him build !!#you'll be living in poverty with no home and no way to make a living and no pension #i'm BEGGING you. work enough to earn your own keep. keep a secret bank account to escape if you need to.#make sure you have a legal right to things you've help acquire just in case he decides he no longer wants you or something happens to him #be careful for the love of god !!!!

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agentartemus · 1 month ago

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I thought today was a good one..

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traumagenica · 8 months ago

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I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE

#all caps #vent #vent post #venting #text post #failure #fear of failure #low self worth #mental illness #<< admin tags #IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE #I NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING #I CRUSHED MY FAMILYS DREAMS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY WITH MY SELFISHNESS #I THREW AWAY RELATIONSHIPS I CHERISHED JUST BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING SAD #I WORRY EVERY DAY IS THE DAY MY HUSBAND LEAVES ME #I STILL DONT HAVE KIDS OR A HOUSE OR EVEN A FUCKING DOG #I NEVER WENT TO GRAD SCHOOL #IM TOO SICK TO HAVE HOBBIES OUTSIDE MY OWN HOME #I CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN MY HOME #THE ONLY THING I WAS EVER GOOD FOR WAS MY BRAINS BUT I LOST THEM #I HAVENT CREATED ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL OR PROFOUND OR WORTHWHILE #I HAVENT MADE BANK #I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO MEDICALLY TRANSITION #IVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL #I STILL CANT AFFORD TO VISIT MY NEPHEW #I STILL BARELY KNOW MY SISTER #I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE #SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF MY OWN HEAD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

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clownaura · 7 months ago

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i love when higher ups check the cameras and send screenshots to micromanage me <3 i love it and i love knowing that i am being watched at any given time <3333

#lots of tags #personal #negative #work tales #from the comfort of their own homes too #like no one’s said anything about how i wasted 10 mins in the stockroom cleaning up a weeks worth of trash #trash that i can’t even take to the dumpster myself lest i get fired #but you can send a pic of an open register (but not the video footage of me running back and forth #between two registers trying to make sure they both have enough change #bc no one went to the bank to get any change #and now it’s sunday so i can’t go myself #not to mention that no one TOLD me that i was even allowed to go to the bank for change #we’re busting our asses here and keep getting told that we’re not doing anything #like idk if my district manager is just lying to the store manager #or if the store manager is lying to us #or if they’re both in kahoots and trying to get people to quit #like #what the fuck do i even do at this point

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astral-catastrophe · 17 days ago

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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system

#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad #Then actually think and remember #I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling #Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa #We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver #Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother #And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side #That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need #They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer #I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it #I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester #Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend #Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself #You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here

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calliopechild · 3 months ago

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Listen, I wouldn't normally cite Cosmo as support for an argument, but I can't think of anything that sums up the dangers of the stay-at-home girlfriend/tradwife nonsense like this quote:

“If you give a man the power to feed you, he also has the power to starve you.”

#ladies no matter how good your relationship is PLEASE don't ever put yourself in a situation #where your partner is your only source of income and you have no bank account of your own and no means to support yourself #if you want to play history revisionist and pretend the 50s were the era of your pastoral suburban fantasy #and not full of reasons why shitty husbands kept ending up dead when women couldn't escape them through divorce #then that's your business #but for the love of all the suffragettes who fought for the rights you want to hand back over to some guy #please at least read this article and the warnings from ladies who did the stay-at-home girlfriend thing #and had to start over from scratch when things crashed and burned #it wouldn't take much for a woman to be completely trapped--especially if things keep going the way the gop wants #you give up your job to play tiktok housewife barbie for your man. he knocks you up. the relationship goes sour #a miscarriage could get you arrested and you can't get an abortion because you live in a red state #you can't move out with no job/income and definitely can't afford to juggle pregnancy expenses on your own. now what?#and this is not meant to be a 'men are trash' or 'being a stay-at-home mom is a prison' thing #there are a lot of good men in the world and for a lot of families having one stay-at-home parent #is actually more cost-effective than having two incomes and paying for daycare #but having financial autonomy is so so important #don't give that up for any relationship #financial abuse

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narugen-moved · 5 months ago

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okay if hoshina gets promoted to captain status in another division i will literally be so sad but it would be extremely fitting if he ends up nurturing a whole batch of recruits/an entire division through his kindness.. passing on the warmth that his captain showed him when they first met.. ough

#egg boils #also my own ship brain talking in tags now but he would Absolitely visit taxhikawa base numerous times just to hang out #in the end 3rd division will always be his HOME!!!!!!!!#GAWD IMAHINE THE PINING AND YEARNING. “i miss you #oh i’m crazy. actually.#mina not realizing how empty it feels without hoshina causing up a storm in the control rooms #also i’d assume by then kafka wld be vice captain here and it’s just not the same #no hate to kafka bc i do think with ch110 they’d be a stellar team but #he’s not hoshina!!!!#and kafka is fundamentally js a different person that provides her with a diff sense of comfort #mina missing hoshina. oh wow. amazing concept to me actually. i enjoy it #WAIT LET ME CONTINUE #KAFKA SEEING HER DOWN IN THE DUMPS AND IS LIKE MINA ARE YOU EVER GOING TO CONFESS HELLO?#you are 28 now !!!!!!!!!!!!?! he is no longer in ur division u don’t get to see him daily isn’t it just so sad and then in typical kafka #fashion he kinda starts crying For her like mina 😭😭😭😭 ur crush on vice captain (oh i guess it’s captain now huh) hoshina is soo obvious #WHY DIDJT U DO ANYTHING ABIUT IT #AND MINA IS JUST HUFFING LIKE IM COMMANDER OF THIS BASE I DONT HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUY THAT????#and kafka is like But u obviously MISS HIM #AND SHES LIKE: THAT DOESNT MATTER I HAVE WORK TO DO #kafka shaking her shoulders: MINA!!!!!!!!#so he calls hoshina instead and is U need to come over NOW #and hoshina is like ???????? but he’s free????? sort of??? and he goes over. it’s like idk say 3 hours away but he Goes Anyway.#and mina is flabbergasted when he shows up and kafka is Like awesome! tell him now!#and mina is like: IM NOT READY FOR THAT???????#kafka: just wing it 😁👍#mina: KAFKA #idea bank #that’s so funny wait

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hella1975 · 1 year ago

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‘you’re all i got, cousin’ crying over richie of all people. can this day get any worse

#IF I SAID RICHIE IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPELLING CHARACTERS ON THE BEAR WHAT THEN #THIS SHOW SAID NO TWO DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS!!!#he’s still a dick tho. love him #hi i had a hellish day. being on ur period plus working bank holiday saturday lunch rush? no a slaytastic combo #saw unprecedented levels of twatism today night actually be my worst shift at this place ever #god fr saw me posting positively about work lately and went girl BE QUIET and u know what it’s crickets from my end from now on bossman #this is the first time i could NOT snap myself out of a mood bc of a customer like it was a hundred little shitty interactions #of being spoken to like utter shit and then one table just pissed me OFF like complained to my manager the works and if it had been that on #it’s own it would have been fine but it had already been building and i was like no. im done #got asked if i could stay on until 10 and i wasn’t even polite about it i just went ‘FUCK no’#almost cried on the bus home. humiliating. immediately got in an argument w my mum. thriving tbh #and then went ‘now is probably a bad time to watch THIS of all shows but oh well’ and weirdly it’s actually calmed me down bc I’m reminded #this is a universal struggle and it isn’t just me being a little bitch lmao. still sucks that my job literally consists of #��whoever can tolerate being spoken to like dirt for the longest without snapping will get shifts :)’ like why is this behaviour allowed #why do i have to regularly day after day be disrespected and treated like im not even a person. for MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE #blowing the restaurant up im so fucking done man #the bear #hella slaves to capitalism

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arrowpunk · 8 months ago

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I'm cool with you being gay and loving all that and I'm still a catholic trad wife lol I just don't have homophobia.

Okay??? Good for you I guess? I am baffled as to why you felt the need to tell me this??? Like what is this about???

If this has something to do with my post from like? A month ago? About how my posts about my love for my wife are gay and not for the evangelical/fundie/trad crowd to repurpose and make about their trad christian marriages that still stands lol

Glad you're not homophobic? My queer love for my queer wife still isn't the same in any way shape or form to anything trad. Like if this is a straight trad woman looking for permission to reblog my lesbian posts about loving my lesbian wife and tagging it as your personal Jakey it's still a no please do not do that.

#arrows asks #ramblings of an arrow #I genuinely have no idea what this is in reference to #or why you felt the need to send me this #good for you lol #glad you aren't homophobic #have fun on my blog I guess?#i don't give a shit #if you're looking for validation or whatever you've come to the wrong blog #like good on you for not being homophobic #I'm still not gonna like the whole tradwife culture #I still think it's like super toxic and enables a lot of abuse #my opinions on this aren't gonna change #I have too much firsthand experience with people who have suffered greatly from that system #hope you're safe #hope your husband isn't abusing you in any way #hope you have your own separate bank account #look if you enjoy being a stay at home wife more power to you I don't care #go live your life do your thing #dunno why it's my business

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talentforlying · 8 months ago

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i have like four separately-dated posts in my drafts that are all completely unrelated to constantine, they're just me being excited about the concept of 'the end' in the magnus archives being self-terminating and self-defeating to the point where it might, by its very nature, have contributed to the creation and inevitable triumph of the extinction. what was happening in my life to get me so hype about this.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i think it was when i started thinking about adding jallakuntilliokan to my multi?? that would make sense #the god of all gods born of and dependent on humanity for its survival potentially bringing about their (and its own) destruction? yeah #and i made jallaklavi an avatar of the extinction for their tma au so i was probably going apeshit on the background lore #anyway i fucking LOVE oliver banks's season 5 statement it fascinates me to no end (badum-tss)#i am absolutely obsessed with the notion of entities beyond the scope of potential human victory being self-obliterating #it's the most existential expression of hubris as a fatal flaw in my mind #like: you are going to win. you Know you are going to win. and winning is more important than anything that comes after #solely by virtue of it being YOUR time of victory. and then the dust settles and you're left to realize: oh. all i have won is my death #does that make ANY fucking sense? i love the magnus archives. i'm obsessed with the extinction #anyway i'm still at work but i will be fuckin around when i get home and trying to reply to messages. hope everyone's day has been good!

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