#bad mental state

[degeneracys-kreature]

Sometimes it gets to much, and you gotta find a place for yourself.

[pro-foundbeauty]

I wish I could redo life

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

tbh redbull is my coping mechanism now it makes me kinda scared ngl i dont want to go down that rabbit hole

[bucketfullofstrawberries]

Hey guys, The Teaparty may be a little delayed due to my decline in energy and my mental health generally being. A bit. Eeeeh. I'll try get things done as soon as possible. But it may take a while. Hope you understand. <3

[thisisdore]

23/08/23

Things are getting bad again. They were bad last week but I tried to push through, but this week it’s already Wednesday and I have no idea where all the time has gone. I feel weighed down by the things I haven’t done, and the things I never will do. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to keep going. I just want to rest.

[sam-blackbird]

[menfishme-women]

Suicide mention warning

I’m in a silly goofy mood rn, might hang myself later, might bleed out on the bathroom floor hehe

[curelav]

bro I just started feeling lonely af and was like "yk what... lets make a tumblr" so yeah, prob gonna post random things and about my deteriating mental health <3 and also possibly art, idk i'll see if i can take ok pics on my chromebook lmao

[a-stupid-little-diary]

I see that you had to come back to town.

To that oh so horrible house you lived in when I knew you.

When I saw, I almost cried.

Almost.

I didn't luckily, especially because I was on call with C.

I didn't cry because of the clone of you I'm stuck with in my head.

He was the only reason I didn't have a full panic attack.

And now, all the progess I made after you left, is gone.

I'm scared to leave the house again.

To exist again.

And what makes it worse, is that I have to leave my house all of this upcoming week.

All week I will be unable to live my life properly because of you.

You ruined me.

You know you did.

And I see how you still add to that stupid pinterest board about me.

About us.

You are an adult that is attracted to a minor.

Who you thought looked younger than they were.

I still get mistaken for a Freshman.

That makes it so much worse.

You are an adult, and you look like one.

I am a minor, and I look 2-3 younger than I am.

Do you realize how creepy that is?

I just have to wonder if your partners know how much you still love that child you dated for a few months?

Could it even be considered that?

You just used me to vent whenever you felt like it.

Made me look for jobs for you.

For a place for you to live.

I'm glad I broke up with you.

That C was willing to work with me and stay with me after I continued to talk to you.

He saved me.

You on the other hand, you almost killed me.

And now, you might actually do it.

[pro-foundbeauty]

The people I want to talk to never care to talk or never care to listen.

[junisshatteredglass]

... complaints below please ignore...

I personally think the worst part of being disabled with chronic pain are they days when you feel the most like a burden. I'm out of work rn, but everyone in my family is working. Today, I'm mostly alone at home, just trying to wait out the pain. I've eaten 2 pieces of toast, 3 sips of water. I did a small amount of chores yesterday and helped where I could, and all day today, I've been asleep, laying in bed blitzed out my mind in pain.

I couldn't think, I couldn't rememeber, I couldn't do anything.

This is the first moment of lucidity I've had all day, and it's 18:37/6:37 pm. I'm trying to pet my fiancé's beloved cat, and her fur hurts so much. I love her, but she hurts me without meaning to, she's just being lovely, friendly self, and I can't pet our cat. She's such a sweetheart, I want to pet her.

I heard my parents getting ready for work, my lovely mum checked on me, and I couldn't be thankfully because I was in too much pain. I couldn't be nice, I had a short lit fuse from pain. I feel like a different person on my worst day.

I have a headache now, both from the pressure of the pain and lack of nutrition/hydration.

Some days - it feel like I'm just waiting for the patience and empathy they have to run out.

I don't want to use them, but I can't function anymore without pain management treatment.

[thesadpoetwrites]

Those nights

The worse nights are the ones

I know I could fall asleep

but are too sad to try.

Those nights I just stare up at my ceiling

thinking of ways my life could change.

I focus on those thoughts

as the intrusive ones

hang in the back of my mind.

They stay there

whispering to each other

to create worse ideas.

When I was younger

these thoughts and ideas

were no more than a faint whisper

that only a rabbit could hear.

But somewhere along the way,

they grew louder,

and then one day I noticed.

They became so loud

that the world was quiet.

I thought I went deaf

but passed every hearing test.

I could only hear the thoughts

I didn't know what was wrong.

And that was the start

of me noticing a lot of things

were quite right with me.

I was 7 when the voices got loud.

Only 9 when I started to do

what they wanted.

The scratching

the clawing

the not eating

the not sleeping

I started to listen

to what they had to say

about me.

I was just a kid.

No one believed something was wrong

because kids lie they pretend.

I was only a kid

and I was experiencing worse

mental health than most adults.

I was only 10

when I tried to kill myself

for the first time.

It's funny what you remember

when you're depressed

avoiding sleep

staring at your ceiling.

Written January 28th 2022

[spectrumlife99]

Had meltdown Tuesday night lost control of myself was breaking things and hurt my mom because swing broke and upset upset upset because need swing to help stay calm while having bad mental state always lately and swing is broken now so lost it and didn't mean to hurt mom I hate hate HATE losing it it's still bothering me and can't get it out of head still upset I did that and STILL apologizing to mom because ended up hurting her because bigger stronger than her and didn't mean it NEVER mean it I just lose control and NOTHING I can do because can't feel it coming on or anything just takes over me I hate hate hate meltdowns they're bad problems bad problems BAD PROBLEMS can't get over it still feel awful and still hurts because HURT MY MOM but I never never NEVER mean it but don't know if she knows that but I love my mom so so SO much she still taking care of me since can't live on my own wouldn't be able to survive but upset over hurting her can't get out of my mind meltdowns are the worst worst WORST hate them hate them HATE THEM!!!!

[amihungryorbored]

a few hours ago i found out the 2nd call test is tomorrow the next regularly scheduled test is the day after that, even tho my classmate told me we would have nothing this week.

should i be relying on updates from her? no. but I can't keep up with the messages on our group chat. they talk too much about stupid stuff and I get overwhelmed having to read through it all just to find important information.

it doesn't help that the professor only responds to one girl's emails and nobody has his number. but goddammit i've been in this kind of situation before, have I learned nothing??

I just feel like giving up on this course at this point but that's destructive perfectionism talking, right? yeah I'm afraid of trying and failing anyway thus proving... I'm worthless? an impostor?

[ahmedelhassan5]

Same status.

I wake up for me

I seek for improvement for me

None motivates me

None pushes me

And days are goin' on

It seems like that room is so suitable for me.

Population: 1 person perfectly like my life

[thoughts-and-emotions-2010]

Is it stupid that I give myself punishments when I did something bad (no matter how small it is) and that I imagine my parents giving me said punishments?