#bad financial advice

[blot-squisher]

Follow me for more bad financial advice!

[tea-and-panthers]

So my brother was telling me earlier about how his teacher, who owns a few fast food places besides teaching, was giving his students “useless financial advice, for people who don’t own a business.” According to my brother.

There advice was roughly: “register your car as a business car than use it for personal purposes so the cost of fuel you use is tax deductible”

My response to my brother telling me this was: “I’m pretty sure you’re teacher is committing tax fraud.”

My brother agrees with me.

[clockadile]

I also bought two swords. It wasn’t because of this post but I was thinking about it when I hit that final buy button.

It’ll be two blunt sparring sabres. (What’s the point in having one sword if no one else has a sword to practice with you?) They’ll arrive sometime in the next 2 weeks.

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Girlfriend Bought Me A Million Dollar House And Raised My Kids And All I Got Was This Million Dollar House And Someone To Raise My Kids, When Is It Finally Going To Be My Turn To Get A Break??????

Pay Dirt, Slate, 17 April 2023:

Dear Pay Dirt, My longterm girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be “her” money or “our” money. She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby. I think that we should save most of it and use some of it on a vacation since we both find traveling extremely romantic. My argument is: 1) I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad; 2) we’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to “her” windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years? Her argument is: 1) she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it; 2) she paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years. I feel resentful of the double standard about control over finances and hurt that she would rather prioritize her own joy over our shared joy. She feels impatient to reconnect with her hobby and hurt that her contributions to our lifestyle are unseen. How do we reconcile our different viewpoints? How should the money be allocated? Is there something that we’re missing? —I’m About to Glass(Blow) a Fuse

Dear About to (Glass)Blow a Fuse,

I hope you don't mind that I corrected your very clever parenthetical sign-off! You're understandably dealing with a lot of hurt right now at the hands of the cruel and self-absorbed girlfriend who bought you a million-dollar home and abandoned her beloved hobby to raise your children, so I totally get why a brilliant, overworked, and under-appreciated academic genius such as yourself would fuck up something so incredibly simple and obvious, you poor thing. Really speaks to the distress you're in as the victim of this woman's sordid scheme to steal every ounce of joy from your life by experiencing some of her own after decades of managing your household for you for free.

Great relationships are built on the exactly equal division of all resources, and it sounds like your girlfriend has trouble grasping this because she seems to believe that the home you live in and the time she has invested raising your children for you have value, when of course they do not. The only thing that has value in this world is cash money, which is why we call it money. If parenting were valuable, you'd be able to trade it on the stock market! And what was your girlfriend going to do, not live in a house? These are things she'd have done with her life anyway, and they don't get to count toward her contribution to the household just because she did them for and with you instead of expressly and specifically pursuing her art. Whereas who knows what you could have done with your life if you hadn't been locked into a free house and a partner dedicating herself full-time to keeping your children alive for you?

Now, after all these years of being nothing but a worthless freeloader whom you support out of the generous goodness of your kind heart, your girlfriend has finally acquired something of value, and she wants to keep an entire third of it for herself? To do something that doesn't directly benefit, enrich, or entertain you personally? That's not equity, and it's certainly no way to repay you for periodically writing checks to the plumber. Isn't it about time you finally got something out of all of this for your trouble?

What benefit is there for you in having a partner who enjoys the sweet satisfaction of creative fulfillment after years of yearning to express herself? What kind of weirdo wants their girlfriend to have her own interests? And what kind of ungrateful hussy doesn't jump to spend thousands of her own money on a romantic vacation with someone who actively resents even entertaining the possibility of the idea of her doing something that makes her artistic spirit sing?

The balance sheet of this relationship is indeed all out of whack, and it's too bad that it's taken this long for your girlfriend to see just how uneven your bargain has been. If we're going to get technical about what has "value" in a relationship — and it does seem like your girlfriend is an inveterate bean-counter in the worst way around this stuff — the best way to reconcile your mutual account, as it were, is to present your girlfriend with an itemized bill for all the services you have provided her over the years, such as allowing her to buy you a home, permitting her to forego a wage-earning career, and gifting her with the opportunity to abandon her favorite hobby. That should pretty swiftly put everything you're "missing" in stark relief, and solve the question of how she should allocate her money in the future.

[clementimetodie]

.

[rowanthestrange]

(well, might have just sold the house! i don’t breathe til we actually are inside the one we want to move to, but…!)

[bulbabutt]

you guys don’t understand how much I missed drawing turbles 😭

[aahsoka]

our like professional skills class is full of ridiculous advice. why are they referring us to dave ramsey ….

[i-rationality]

Am I the only one who doesn’t like the girl maths trend?

[thebirdandhersong]

have landed myself in hot water again

[nerdyfangirlingbooks]

Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice

[nowshesdoingitallthetime]

the way I just got hit with 5 separate “your order has been shipped” emails while also waiting for my love island water bottle to arrive…. Customs fees are going to be the thing that ruins the bank account this month I fear

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

[herawell]

.

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Investment Advice Is Not Being Taken

Social Q's, New York Times, 1 February 2023:

I was advising my adult daughter on a great investment in a field we know well. I even offered financial assistance, but she told me she was afraid to proceed. So I shared a very personal story: When her father and I were engaged, he was offered a similar opportunity. I begged him to postpone our wedding and use the money to make the investment. But he didn’t; he was afraid, too. I told her that marrying her father, instead of making the investment, had been a poor financial decision I’ve regretted ever since. I urged her not to make the same mistake. She then forwarded our entire text exchange to my husband (her father)! It didn’t cause any trouble between us. But she didn’t know that it wouldn’t. How do I deal with such a betrayal? I will never trust her again. — MOTHER

Dear Mother,

On the scale of human betrayal, it is hard not to situate what your daughter did to you as one of the more egregious crimes that humans have yet committed against each other lo these 230,000 or so years. The Bad Advisor doesn't pretend to say that humans aren't capable of coming up with something worse than asking a man about some shit he was already well aware of, but it's hard to imagine what that might be, and the Bad Advisor daren't speculate for fear of what nightmares await.

You ask an age-old question: Who dares snitch to Daddy? Where does a child, who is an adult and allowed to do whatever the fuck she wants, get off doing whatever the fuck she wants, up to and including telling her dad that her mother said a thing that both of y'all already had a conversation about decades ago? A thing which your husband is by his own admission not at all concerned about? The gall boggles the mind.

You could have been in big trouble with a man who openly gives no fucks about a thing he was already well aware of! What if your daughter had exposed you as a person who had feelings about an investment decision you expressly and specifically told your husband you had feelings about and with regard to which he gives not the barest shit today, nor gave the barest shit about ages ago? The consequences of your daughter telling a man a thing he already knew are nigh life-or-death, and she wholly disregarded them.

But what if your husband, who has known since the dawn of your marriage that you disagree about investment opportunities because you told him so, didn't know that thirty years ago -- when you specifically said that you wanted him to invest money in Dot Com Stocks Dot Co Dot Crypto instead of paying for a nice reception at the VFW hall and he said "Nah fuck it let's buy a huge fucking cake instead" and then y'all literally did that -- that you were actually specifically saying that you would rather him spend money on Dot Com Stocks Dot Co Dot Crypto, and he said no let's not do that let's do the wedding instead, which is what happened? Imagine the horror that might have ensued if your disruptive daughter, who refuses to take your investment advice, had disclosed to this man a thing that would not have surprised him in the least because he actively participated in it?

Well, you needn't imagine the horror. It happened: your daughter told your husband a thing he already knew, and here you are bearing the brunt of the consequences: deep betrayal by a woman who not only is obligated to listen to and take your financial advice, but who dares communicate with someone else who decided not to take your financial advice about their shared hobby: not taking your financial advice.

So: we know what betrayal looks like. We know of the Trojan Horse. We know of Benedict Arnold. We know of Brutus stabbing Caesar. These stories have shaped Western history, and given us a means of understanding ourselves and others. But do we know of the daughter who expressed vague trepidation at her mother's investment counsel? We do not, and the whole of humanity is the worse for it. On behalf of the world, we thank you for sharing your awful tale so that others may learn from it.

How does a mother deal with such a betrayal? A mother can do what only a mother can do: invest deeply in crypto, and let the ~ gains ~ speak for themselves.

[hey-op-just-kill-me]

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