#bad! they went to superhell together

[calumhoodofficial]

nandermo nation how we feeling

[dotthings]

A reminder that even if I agree the spn series finale absolutely sucked, that not every take is actually canonically aligned and I will not be giving an inch on Cas is in Heaven he was not trapped in the empty there is no such thing as “Superhell” Cas saved himself in an act of self-actualization fulfilling a Jungian arc about confronting the shadow (literally manifested as a blob of black goo) and Cas kicked The Empty’s ass and redesigned Heaven in a way Dean would love with no walls and every soul Dean loved, the people who loved Dean, around him. Yet Dean’s arc was not complete and fulfilled because he hasn’t fully integrated with himself, and confronted the shadow, he hasn’t spoken or expressed his heart the way he needs to, he is restless and went on a drive and in his search for fulfillment started saving alt versions of his family but he is still searching for…something. Someone. Despite Cas already being in Heaven, he and Dean have not reunited yet but they have by the time of the bridge scene (see og plan for the finale: Dean and Cas at the bar together when Sam walks in, when Sam finally joins Dean in Heaven).

And currently (before bridge reunion which is future) Dean is on a quest and meddling with alt universes and there will surely be delicious consequences and a whole lot of story to tell.

Badly executed episode be damned. That is all still canon.

And Destiel is canon but their story isn’t all the way fulfilled and Dean’s personal arc isn’t fulfilled yet. The story isn’t over. Dean’s story isn’t over.

Sam gets a bad wig and a blurry wife and a dull picket fence life where he is eternally sad and then dies of old age but Sam’s story was already fulfilled, his story doesn’t demand and cry out for completion the way Dean’s does and the brothers story likewise is not left with an open gaping wound that needs further story to complete, although seeing them in action again will be enjoyable.

And that’s the truth.

[yeoldemothmemes]

Sentence Starters from my Watch Later 89

Feel free to change pronouns and adjust as needed Content warnings Food tw,

"I have many thoughts, but today we're just going to discuss BLANK" "This is just you as you" "Kinda want to do that, just for myself" "We grew up together" "This cat is my best friend in the whole world" "BLANK is my best friend in the whole world" "No, that looks bad" "This probably isn't going to work, is it?" "Ohmygod I just deleted the whole thing" "I'm sorry, I keep doing all these things and not realizing" "I had a very rough weekend" "Maybe I was the cat lady all along" "The weather is so bad all the time" "I don't get it" "I'm going to put a dent in my wall at this rate" "Have you ever wondered why I'm fucking like this?" "It went to superhell" "Not reality, but fun to think about" "Go and have your fun, that's not for me" "What did i order?" "That was heavier than I thought" "They sent me candy" "When life gets hard, we turn to memes" "This is making me feel things" "Looks like a squid" "Don't eat me please" "I look like an eighties rocker" "I'm not going to fit through any normal sized doorway in this outfit" "EVENT is closer than I feel like it should be" "it is closer than I feel like it should be" "I already hit one doorway"

[unpopularshipbracket]

Round 1b Match 7

Officer Lockstock/Officer Barrel (Urinetown)

fic count: 18

"They're pretty much the comedic cops in the show and get to sing a few bangers together. I feel bad for them because Barrel (spoilers) basically gets sent straight to superhell after confessing his love (and this musical came out a good 14 years before the end of spn)"

Mihashi/Tajima (Big Windup!)

fic count: 41

"mihashi is a very anxious guy n bad at talking n tajima is one of the characters whos able to talk to him with no problem theyre the first members of their baseball team to start using first names for eachother (cause they hung out frequently after school at tajima's house while the others usually just went home) when the catcher of the team gets injured n tajima has to catch mihashi's pitches mid game even though they lost tajima really enjoyed the experience n it made him understand the appeal of being a part of a battery (pitcher n catcher duo) theyre just really considerate n look out for eachother + silly (unintentionally) 4 silly (on purpose)"

[sas-afras]

okay barbenheimer completed. here’s my thoughts

barbie movie:

overall fun, but it had a bizarre mixed message and i felt like the morality behind the movie was very……… surface level girl power. middle school shit. which is whatever because it’s a movie about a kids toy, i’m not expecting anything super intricate

“i’ll beach you off” very funny. will ferrell was also very funny but the entire mattel plotline had no purpose

6/10 overall but 10/10 outfits and ryan gosling acting

oppenheimer thoughts:

the entire fucking movie was edited like a trailer. i’m not joking, for the first five minutes i thought that the theater i was in had mistakenly aired a trailer for oppenheimer before the actual movie. it was fucking astounding how many words they managed to cram into 3 hours without saying or doing a single goddamn thing. it was all quick punchy shots one after the other, no time to breathe or get to know characters before you move onto the next thing, BLARING trailer music every second of every scene, wild jump cuts between locations and time periods with nothing to establish where the hell you are, right hand to god i could not tell you a single characters name or what their actual purpose was. it was like watching a greatest moments compilation of an hbo series that someone cut together in imovie and put their own soundtrack over it. absolutely unbearable.

the color grading was SO fucking bizarre. my best guess was that they wanted to showcase oppy’s baby blues (yes that’s his nickname in the movie and it gets said many times) so they cranked up the blue saturation HARDCORE, and then just shifted everything else hard towards orange to be complimentary or something? the contrast was so fucked it genuinely felt like baby’s first tumblr gifset

THE AUDIO MIXING. DEAR GOD THE AUDIO MIXING. EVERYTHING WAS 10000 DECIBELS AND YOU COULD HEAR PEOPLES LIPS PARTING. THE BOMB SCENE BORDERLINE GAVE ME A PANIC ATTACK. DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU HAVE AUDITORY SENSITIVITY

if i had to get jumpscared by christopher nolan’s weirdly snatched ass having philosophical sex with troubled women one more time before the bomb went off i was going to become the fucking joker. at one point he’s having sex for the first time, the girl pulls off of him in the middle of it, and they just have. a completely normal conversation for like a full minute while she shittalks his bookshelf. then she grabs a random book and puts it over her tits and starts riding him again while asking him to read to her. from what i understand the book was a sacred hindu text as well? so like extra yuck if that’s true

this should not have been a movie. if you’re going to make some kind of media about oppenheimers life to the degree this movie chose to (debatable on whether or not that’s even worth doing, considering the fact that he’s already had his time being in the american mythos while all of the atrocities he caused are swept under the rug!) it should have been at least 10 episodes of a mini series. like. bare minimum. the amount of sheer “backstory” and “character development” they tried to cram into the 3 hour runtime was absurd, and literally none of what the creators tried to do had any impact at the end of the day! the audience was still just fucking REELING from the information overload!!!

i think that from a purely artistic standpoint this movie was a complete failure, just an absolute shitshow from start to end. 100% do not watch, not even pirated, because it is 3 solid hours of sensory overload and christopher nolan gently parting his lips. you will feel like you’re in the twilight zone. you will wish an atomic bomb would land on you this exact second. it is utterly abhorrent and i had to piss so bad the entire time but i couldn’t get up to leave because everyone in my row had their footrests up.

josh peck was there and that was the moment i became convinced that i was hallucinating

-1000000/10 fuck you oppy rot in superhell

oppenheimer sucks mad shit

[annebrontesrequiem]

The fandom ask...you ikeman men :)

Oh boyyy. Let’s talk about my ikemen men lmao. So I decided to break this up into all the games I’ve played before doing overall, because I like doing overkill.

Also sorry to Midcin, Ikemen Genjiden, and any other Ikemen games I either haven’t played you cause meh or cause I don’t read Japanese, sad violin sounds

Also this is on my phone so ignore the typos. I might put an under the cut when I get access to my computer cause I think this gonna be long.

Ikemen Vampire - The One That Got Me Into This Mess

Blorbo - Definitely Arthur. I’ve probably explained the storyTM before but basically Arthur’s my fav for three reasons. One because I just find him painfully relatable at moments (not all the time tho thankfully oh boy); two I think we’d be relatively compatible; and three I was reading the story, getting into it, when I hit a chapter where Arthur screams. And holy shit the VA just went for it (note this VA also voices Childe cause my favs are a flat circle apparently). Anyways I was so blown away by how raw it was my respect points went up by 10k and Arthur’s spot as fav was cemented.

Scrunkly - Isaac. My boy. My baby. He’s just out here trying his best dealing with the fact he’s got the vampire equivalent of anemia mixed with feral boy energy (that sounds cringey I’m sorry Isaac). Look he’s just a painfully shy man with unquenchable bloodlust and the feeling of being permanently separated from humanity because of it. Can a person not want to hug this man and give him all the love? Anyways he’s baby.

Scrimblo bimblo - Uhhhh. I don’t remember the popularity rankings tbh but I think Vincent is overlooked for Theo which honestly I don’t get. Theo’s just a right dick half the time and is definitely better in fanon than canon. Meanwhile Vincent is just a himbo. A himbo with trauma but still a himbo. He deserves to be the more appreciated brother my dude asks permission for every step in the relationship, doesn’t have a death wish, does act like an ass to the MC. I mean to be fair I like Theo well enough, but again. Vincent is better. Sorry lol don’t kill me please

Glup shitto - Claudia (I think that was her name) from Saint-Germain’s route. This route is out here passing the Bechdel test via kidnapping. We love to see it. (Anyways yeah 10/10 I know she’s not a love interest but I’d court her if she’d let me). Sorry if your name’s not Claudia idk man. Also was gonna put her as scrimblo bimblo but this is a much better category.

Poor little meow meow - Charles. He is so pathetic but he also has one of the best character designs. The only fanon I’ve seen is kinda sad and not the best but his route ain’t out yet so who knows. If he is just a kinda pathetic horny man then I guess I’ll just have to admire from like 300 meters away. He’ll still be poor little meow meow though lmao.

Horse plinko - Theo cause he irritates me lmao. He could take some tormenting. He can handle it.

Eeby deeby - Mozart is getting chucked right to superhell. If you aren’t Tom Hulce in the 1984 masterpiece Amadeus I don’t want your Mozart.

Alternatively if it’s for gay crimes William and Vincent and Leonardo and Saint-Germain are getting chucked headfirst into that elevator because you can tell me Leonardo and Saint-Germain were never lovers in their centuries of existence together, I just won’t believe you.

Ikemen Sengoku - The Best Written One

Blorbo - Kenshin. Oh my… Kenshin. I’ve become so enamored with this idiot that seeing him in other routes makes me smile like a maniac. Here I was prepared to endure Kenshin’s route cause he’s supposed to be a yandere and instead I get… a complex (for an otome game don’t get me wrong this isn’t Virginia Woolf or anything) look at mental illness, trauma, and relationships??? What?? MC actively admitting she thought she could ‘fix him’ but she doesn’t cause he immediately spirals? Good writing? Anyways I’ve accepted my status as Kenshin simp. Rip, maybe I do have bad taste.

Scrunkly - Yukimura prolly? Like not all the time but he’s definitely the one that has the most cuteness aggression moments. This poor man is just trying to survive at this point surrounded by murder hobos and that’s really funny. Also he’ll just believe anything. Idiot (affectionate). Note I haven’t read his route so idk but until then (and maybe after) he is scrunkly

Scrimblo bimblo - Nobunaga. Which sounds weird right since his face is on the thing basically, but I think the first route guys tend to be overlooked or seen as boring. Which fair but look this route got me into Go/Baduk and now I play through NHK games on my board on a semi-regular basis and want to find a Go club so I gotta give him props. Also I do like his character even if he’s also a total ass he has good moments.

Glup shitto - Kyubey. Now admittedly I was ready to despise him when I first read his name because, y’know, being meguca is suffering and all. But honestly Kyubey goes through so much shit he deserves appreciation. Mitsuhide better be paying this man a lot.

Poor little meow meow - Kennyo is textbook meow meow. My dude is in like every route trying to get his revenge and he just never succeeds. He also feels guilty about it like 97% of the time but is like “my comrades… revenge…” how about you go back to being a monk so your comrades can go to the afterworld without worrying about your sorry ass. I do appreciate him tho.

Horse plinko - …Yukimura. Or Kenshin. Or Nobunaga. Idk it’d just be funny to see how any of the characters reacted to my personality I think they’d find it obnoxious (I think I’m fabulous tho).

Eeby deeby - Hideyoshi. Is it because his historical counterpart tried to invade what is now Korea? Yes. Am I being petty? Yes. He’s still going to super hell

For gay crimes it’s Kenshin and Shingwn cause who doesn’t love enemies/rivals to we’re living in the same house and only I can really explain to others what you’re feeling (excluding MC in their respective routes but even then).

Ikemen Revolution - The one I’m least familiar with

Blorbo - Edgar. Cause what’s a little murder between evil uncle and manipulated nephew and a family legacy of personal assassins for the king? Look idk man Edgar’s route just hits different. He’s definitely the most compelling so far.

Scrunkly - Luka. I don’t think Luka would survive my middle school. Someone keep this man away from me cause he blushes at everything. He is spiritually baby. Protect this idiot.

Scrimblo bimblo - Uh idk Edgar again? Again I forget popularity polls but he’s not the top three… right? (Watch me be wrong). Otherwise maybe Zero? Underrated.

Glup shitto - I know Mousse has a route I think but so far I’ve only seen him in the prologue. This man seems totally spaced and or half asleep from what I remember and I respect that.

Poor little meow meow - Uhhh. Idk. Whichever twin is least popular because that’s funny (I’m sorry lol)

Horse plinko - Jonah for being a bit of a pompous ass. I liked his route a lot but I think if you stuck us in a room together it would not end well. Someone’s going home wondering who Marx is and it ain’t me

Eeby deeby - Lancelot. Cool motive still threatening to murder MC, multiple kidnappings of MC, generally being a controlling asshole, wiping MC’s memory against her wishes, not telling people his plans cause he has a martyr complex. You get it. I actually kind of softened towards him at the end of his route but flash forward to beginning of next route and I immediately want to punch him. MC should not have let him off the hook so easily in like all the roots. I deserve to throw Lancelot into super hell.

For gay crimes Sirius, Lancelot, and Harr are going to hell together like the messy polycule they are

Ikemen Prince - The New OneTM

Blorbo - So again this one is new and I’ve only played 2.5 routes so far (sorry Leon) but I’d say rn Nokto or Luke, though Jin is fun to read for events cause I am trash. Nokto is prolly my sole fav. I just have a lot of thoughts and emotions about this idiot and I even outlined and started writing a fic for him, one that will never get posted prolly. He’s got a lot of potential and he’s just kinda compelling. Idk. I like him. Yes he is a bit like arthur stfu.

Scrunkly - Honestly none of them really, but if I had to pick prolly Yves. Man is just trying his best to express his emotions after years of rejection cause of his birth and if that doesn’t activate ‘protect’ what will. He is a tsundere though so points lost for that rip (lol sorry I don’t like tsunderes much).

Scrimblo bimblo - Silvio maybe? Idk he seems the least talked about of act two. Admittedly I have nothing to go off of him really but his character design but it is an 11/10 design so…. he’ll prolly be my act two favorite when it comes out in like two years lol (no shade I am in awe with how quickly Cybird releases their games and their English versions I hope staff is getting paid and treated well).

Glup shitto - The bookstore owner. His employees really just disappear into the night but when they come back he gives them back their jobs no questions asked. Respect. (I could also be remembering circumstances wrong but shhhh).

Poor little meow meow - Uhhh idk. I mean I do feel for Rio he is a bit of a meow meow but he’s not my fav. Nokto has meow meow vibes tbh I’ll go with it.

Horse plinko - Chevalier cause he’s irritating. It’s funny cause I expected to like him more than I did, but I underestimated his pompous attitude. So I’d make fun of him, in that Lizzy Bennet Darcy way expect I wouldn’t marry him I’d just talk smack. It’s okay we both like reading he’ll spare my life or whatever (I’m tired lol).

Eeby deeby - Sariel. Man activates my fight or flight instincts I swear. Like his character design is Like That.

Uhh for gay crimes they’re brothers so lol no. I guess the old king for being a manwhore and also a tyrant. He can’t mansplain or manipulate his way out of this one either.

Final Ranking

Blorbo - Kenshin, it’s Kenshin. I’m sorry this idiot is my fav I know I know look I’m trash leave me alone. He’s just going through it and I just… agsjdn

Scrunkly - Isaac has biggest scrunkly energy hands down

Scrimblo bimblo - Vincent. Honestly prolly most well adjusted relationship in all these games

Glup Shitto - Mitsuhide if you aren’t paying Kyubey well I’m personally coming after you

Poor little meow meow - Charles. Dude needs help lmao

Horse plinko - Chevalier cause it would be funng

Eeby deeby - Ancestral grudges aside let me throw Lancelot right into superhell

Sorry if this was wayyyy too long uhhh hope you like…??

[putonmyfavoriteshow]

Bia for the ask game 🎨

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) Helena, my beloved

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) Chiara probably. That girl is absolute baby.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Celeste Celeste Power!!! her arc of finding self confidence and wanting to help others do the same is *chef's kiss* or Carmín - I really love how Carmin has such a unique mean girl redemption storyline that doesn't attempt to make you sympathize with her motives* (we know nothing about her family) and is just her straight up realizing she doesn't want to be a conceited liar on the internet anymore and going on that path mostly on her own with only some help from Jandino as a friend, not a love interest. (*nothing against Ámbar and Ludmi who's storylines are fitting for their respective shows, but I like how Bia went a different route for the mean girl)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) I kinda love all the extra boarders at the Kunst residence like INDY HOUSE! lmao what a bunch of adorable misfits! I also just love that house and want to live there. So also the place itself is my glup shitto. Imagine Pietro's dinners??? The game nights and sing alongs?? Amazing.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Alex - he's definitely a huge a**hole, especially in s1, but I really enjoy his arc and it's really easy to sympathize with him when you realize he lost a sibling too and his dad sucks and his mom is still so traumatized over the accident she can't get over. And he's just trying his best to keep the family together even if it's all the wrong ways. Also his "Soy Alex" videos are actually adorably wholesome and silly.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) As much as Mara and Marcos suck, I honestly wouldn't even bother torturing them. Like karma will come around for them...but Antonio deserves some extra torment on top of his karma

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) Antonio - like i said dcla evil parents are meant for superhell and he's VIP. Victor, Alex, and especially Manuel deserve so much better. I even feel so bad for his wife (hopefully ex-wife) Paula who he continued to manipulate. I like to head canon they all get the hell away from him and lead happier healthier lives in his absence.

[lazarus-lazuli]

What are your opinions on people in The Magicians fandom being gatekeepy about Quentin’s relationships with Alice and Eliot. From the beginning Alice and Quentin were made for each other and so were Quentin and Eliot! Alice and Quentin had an intense relationship, they loved each other so much, and even in times they weren’t getting along the love never died. Quentin sacrificed so much to bring Alice back even though he knew it would damage their relationship! Same thing with Eliot and Quentin! From the beginning Eliot was such a supportive friend to Quentin while he was with Alice. And when Q and Alice broke up his relationship with Eliot started to blossom and they had a beautiful life (that we didn’t get to see unfortunately) together. Quentin spent an entire season trying to bring Eliot out of that possession! It’s obvious that Quentin was in love with Alice and was in love with Eliot too! I’m sick of people trying to pretend like Quentin was only in love with Alice or he he was only in love with Eliot. Bisexual men exist for fucks sake! What do you think?

I don’t think Alice was in love with Eliot per se (show canon wise), but I think they have a very interesting dynamic and it’s pretty garbage that it wasn’t explored more outside of that one episode in season 5 and a few interactions in season 1. The fact they both are in love Quentin is a good jumping off point but they never went much further than “Yep, we both love him, that much is true”. They could have been great friends but nope, we’re not allowed to eat good food in this house. Not after 4x10 aired, anyway (save for 5x05 and 5x06; I will die on my sword for those episodes). 

I think both relationships got the short end of the stick in regards to writing (in fact most of the relationships on The Magicians don’t really get a chance to flourish; the ones they established early on ended up crashing and burning and then the ones they established later on that were frankly really strange writing decisions without much thought/development that ended up being endgame... and I do say this despite my soft spot for Margosh). With Eliot it’s obviously way more egregious because he’s a gay character that never got a proper love story; even the one that was established with Quentin was taken out by the knees just when the writers confirmed that there were mutual feelings there. It was never a matter of queerbaiting, it was a matter of they WERE queer and they WERE in love and the writers decided to fucking take the plotline out back and shoot it anyway because they just HAD to kill the main white male lead despite the fact he was bisexual and mentally ill. If Jason wanted to leave/his contract was up and he didn’t renew it then whatever, his prerogative, but the writers could have done literally anything else to sideline Quentin. At the very least, they could have given him and Eliot some closure. But NOPE straight to Superhell for gay crimes. That’s how they decided to end his nearly completed arc.

However, I feel like his relationship with Alice got treated with the about the same amount of respect despite it being a “Straight” ship. I think that’s why people are pretty shit about it (that and some people are just highkey misogynistic and hate female characters, especially ones that “get in the way” of mlm ships); they just kind of dropped the ball and made it almost uncomfortable to watch. 

Their relationship was not nearly as healthy as the one between him and Eliot; in fact I would argue it was pretty toxic. But they still loved each other and still fought hard for each other, even to each others detriment (namely how pissed Alice was when Quentin made her human again).  I have no idea what the writers were going for when towards the end they threw him and Alice back together. Seriously, in my opinion they should have just been friends and supported each other because they do love each other very much, they just weren’t in the right place in their lives to work as a couple unfortunately. And honestly that would have been much more realistic than Alice running back into Quentin’s arms and Quentin taking her back. It’s like she wasn’t allowed to be an independent character outside of her relationship with him (but that’s a whole other discourse and I have enough to say about this aspect of it alone).

Then to add insult to injury he didn’t even so much as LOOK at Eliot when they brought him back, which makes absolutely NO sense considering how for the whole season up to that point he stood up to a God-powered entity that could have snapped his neck on a whim on behalf of the man he loved. Then the writers were like “lol cool, anyway we’re killing Quentin so he doesn’t get to have any meaningful relationships or even interactions with his love interests or even his best friends today” and threw it all out the window. Like, you wanna talk BAD finales... 

Sometimes I wish I was a fly on the wall in the writers’ room while they were working this shit out because honestly what level of brain rot do you need to have to take all these interesting characters and relationships and do the worst things possible to them? It’s like they WANTED everyone to ragequit the show. Long story short the more I think about the way certain relationships on the show are written the more I wanna slam my head through drywall. It was so good in so many ways but then they completely bungled within the span of like THREE EPISODES!

All that being said, I don’t blame some people for being weird and gatekeepy about certain ships because of the end of season four. However, I feel like everyone has a good dynamic (or at least a dynamic that was good at one point or another) and people have the right to ship who they want. SO much setup with so little payoff; if people wanna fix it via fanfiction or just straight up ship it anyway they’re allowed to. Like you said, Quentin is bisexual and he loves both Eliot and Alice; one love does not invalidate the other regardless of personal opinions on which should have been endgame/how well the respective relationships were handled writing wise.

PS while I personally prefer Marqueliot but Alice/Quentin/Eliot is valid too. 

[famdommcfanface]

You know what fuck it I'm liveblogging my reaction to the horrific masterpiece that is supernatural s15 e18, Despair

First of all s15 is so bad, nothing Dean has done this series is canon because I say so, Chuck can suck a dick but more importantly whatever idiot decided Chuck was god can go suck a dick. I liked Chuck, then they retconned him to a degree that nothing makes sense anymore.

Right it is 1:18am and I feel this is the proper time to watch this episode.

Huh Billie wasn't even in the last episode. That's kinda weird idk

I know Jack's not going to die but that won't stop me from threatening whoever that if you kill him again I'm going to murder someone

Cas 😢😢

Oh now you don't want Jack to die, huh Dean? Now you care about your fucking son.

I hate Billie but I love that coat fucking damn. That's what I would wear if I were the personification of death.

I keep thinking the empty is Claire because I have remarkable face blindness and they look very similar okay!!!

I was not paying attention what happened to Chuck? Ah I don't really care.

The empty uses it/it's pronouns for such a homophobic show supernatural has a truly remarkable relationship with gender.

Tbh Billie told Sam and Dean she wanted them dead the first time they met I swear. Like you can't be surprised rn Sam.

Oh yeah the empty has to survive to take Cas to superhell. Sorry I'm still in denial about that.

Jack is a whole-ass toddler and does not deserve this shit. I know he's going to be god but that's not a responsibility I want to place on a three year old.

I know all this criticism has been done but I need to say this shit okay??? I'm sorry I didn't listen properly when you guys said it. You were all so right.

Damn these boys have been through so many murderous rages...

Wait is Michael still around? Fuck I forget these things. Michael sucks anyway fuck him.

Charlie!!!! Although she's not real Charlie. I miss real Charlie. I miss real Bobby too. They're not the same.

Thing is my ex used to make me scrambled eggs so this is thematically important to my life.

Every time Cas is on screen I cry because I know what's coming.

Jack needs a hug. So does Cas. Everyone should hug. People don't hug enough in this show.

That damn trenchcoat's been through so much... Jimmy just wore a trenchcoat one day and that changed the course of human history.

WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE WHOLE THING WITH EILEEN IF SAM ENDS UP WITH FACELESS WOMAN I STG

Damn Sam got left on read hate it when that happens.

Sam is Eileen's phone background what the fuck yicyoctiguoboh they went on like three dates idk.

Through Sam and Eileen and Dean and Cas not ending up together the message of supernatural is that love sucks and is pointless and the world hates you.

Donna!!!! Christ she'd better not die.

Why didn't you guys teach Jack to drive more. Like you're only allowed to learn to drive when we think you're about to die (which is most of the time tbh so what's their excuse)

Running through how much everyone's died in my head but as you can tell I don't pay attention much and it's hard.

Ow my shoulder hurts suddenly. I think it's the writer's fault.

I swear they all died when I wasn't paying attention. People started talking about all the hunters dying and I assumed they were all dead.

Rowena! Where's she gone she's barely been in this season. I know she's dead but that doesn't matter (which kind of annoys me because I cried when she died and then she just came back but also like good for her)

Cas has been wearing that coat for ten straight (ha) years and it still looks like it doesn't really fit.

Dean you could have murdered her then come on.

Supernatural is interesting in that things happen and they illicit like 0 reaction from me. 90% of tragic events in spn give no emotion. Charlie and Bobby are dead and I don't care.

Oh Donna. Okay I care a bit about that. But like not enough for my face to change. I still find the show compelling though, it's strange.

Aw look at Sam's big puppy dog eyes. Lol.

Gay gay gay. Although I still feel like Cas is being written as straight it's weird. Like I know he's gay and I know the writers know he's gay at this point but like they're not writing it. He's going to confess his love this episode but that's later I guess.

They always get so much blood out of their hands so quickly. And then they just walk it off.

WAIT I RECOGNISE THIS ROOM OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING. IT WAS HAPPENING IN THE BUNKER THIS WHOLE TIME I NEVER RECOGNISED IT.

Paused it oh my god oh my god I am not prepared for this. This is such a weird viewing experience no show is this unhinged.

Every shot is starting to look more and more familiar and let me tell you my face is showing something rn

WAIT CAS CONFESSES HIS LOVE FOR A REASON???

I've paused it again

Like I know it sounds obvious but I kind of just assumed Cas randomly decided right I'm going to confess my love now, vaguely arbitrarily. But he's like summoning the empty and the only way to summon it is to confess your gay love for your best friend xhfkfj

I was slightly worried I wasn't going to get as much as I imagined out of this episode because I knew what was going to happen. I was so wrong. The video's still paused I'm just putting off the inevitable.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

I want to pause it again but I have to face this

OH CHRIST OH MY GOD THE ONE THING I WANT IS SOMETHING I KNOW I CAN'T HAVE

Cas is smiling it's always so weird when he smiles

Like even though I knew this was going to happen I could never quite see this happening but it is and fuck fuck fuck.

Oh my god this is actually pertinent in a way I always sort of assumed it wasn't.

I'm not praising the writing I'm not this is awful but also this is the third time in fifteen seasons I'm crying.

I LOVE YOU

Y YO A TI CAS

He just fucking shoves him oh my god

THE HANDPRINT

Like I saw it when it happened and it meant nothing to me, you know? I knew all the bits as anyone who really liked doctor who and Sherlock in 2015 did but there was no emotion behind it. I knew the significance of the handprint and all that shit. But when I watched it I was mainly thinking 'damn that's really what Castiel sounds like he's got such a weird accent, I usually only see him in gifs'

This is BAD WRITING I am NOT PRAISING IT

But also oh my fucking god

It's paused again btw. Like they just show the most significant scene in the history of bad TV and just cut to Jack and Sam coming out of a grain silo and I need a minute here, okay????

You can't expect me to care about this anymore sorry that scene eviscerated me. Donna's dead frankly who gives a shit. Jack just lost his dad even if he doesn't know it I do not have the brain power to comprehend that rn.

ME AND DEAN NEED A MINUTE OKAY THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL TIME

Oh god it's done.

The fact that Cas has died before... and Dean's always like super upset but he was never that upset y'know. He was never like that. Fucking gay oh my god.

Right it's over. That was the worst episode of TV ever made I'm going to watch the scene again because fuck you.

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[spokenitalics]

U ever think about how dante n virgilio went to superhell together bc they were gay for each other? Destiel who?

you jest but there HAS to be someone who's made the connection between dante putting sodomites among the violent against god (*blows kiss to the ground*: for brunetto latini) and castiel's gay love for dean being what ultimately makes him kill god and reform heaven or whatever happens in that show idk i only watched the first 5 seasons

but to clarify that post i made: i like fanfiction, just like as a thing that exists, and i genuinely think there's no point in branding all fanfiction as Bad using the same arguments that have been (and are!) used to say erotica or ya or comic books or even just self-published books are Bad, just like there's no point in trying to legitimize it by spouting a-historical, absolutely nonsensical bullshit about this or that beloved piece of media being fanfiction all along and using that as proof that fanfiction is Actual Literature (what the fuck even is that, anyway?)

instead, let's have a discussion about intellectual property and copyright and anti-intellectualism and about how maybe it's ok for writing to be a thing you do for fun without having to make money off of it by choice and not because you Can't make money off of it and the difference in perception between fanfiction and fanart and for the love of all things sacred not everything has to be an Us versus Them thing

like, you made a joke and i answered with a joke and then went on a rant but also the divine comedy is in the public domain so if i wrote a retelling of it where dante and virgil being in love with each other and got it published it wouldn't be fanfiction in the exact same way the divine comedy isn't fanfiction, which wouldn't mean they'd be equal in quality or dignity. or maybe i'm the next dante and it would. whatever. stop fighting about it. let everyone go whatever they want as long as they're not annoying about it!

(just realised that's exactly what madeline miller did and it single-handedly killed my interest in achilles and patroclus lmaaooooo. still, it kind of proves my point. and it's not her fault her readers are so willfully ignorant. and, once again, there's a bigger discussion to be had about the way people react to ~bad people~ who also happen to be queer. or to queer men in general. and maybe sometime let's talk about the myth of fandom being this oasis of progressives by virtue of being made up by women. bc, like, no. that's not a thing. which leads back to the 'old white man = bad' debate)

anyway, sorry for this barely coherent mess. have a good day. if anyone has written the castiel-kills-god-via-gay-love fic pls send me the link. bye 👋

[a-flickering-soul]

do kylux for the ask meme 😳 you + me = mental illness

i love you so much for sending this in this truly is the mortifying ordeal of being known

putting this under a readmore because it is LITCHERALLY 1.2k words because i am literally clawing at the walls of my enclosure about these two

ANYWAYS go ahead and send me a character and i’ll give you some headcanons bc im having fun doing these!!!

Kylo Ren

Sexuality Headcanon: ambiguously queer. Don’t make me think about him having sex he makes me so angry

Gender Headcanon: he Must be a cis man. He has so much mommy issues. He is such an incel. He is so full of toxic masculinity. He must be a cis man.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux. Every single angle you take this ship from it’s funny and good. Canon—they hate each other and want each other dead. AU—they still hate each other but they’re (probably) less fascist and genocidal. It’s just so funny. They are so obsessed with each other. They gaslight each other into love confessions. It’s unreal. I’ve been thinking about Kylux for the past month and I feel like an entire geological age has passed. You can tell I’m a Kylux shipper and a R*ylo anti because I almost exclusively refer to him as Ren instead of Kylo. The gay angel went to superhell for Kylux to go canon in Lego Star Wars (twice) and a kids’ comic book. God mocks me to my face.

A BROTP I have with said character: This got literally shot to shit but post-TFA when a bunch of people headcanoned Rey as Luke’s kid and she and Ren were cousins and he reluctantly babysat her because he was literally ten years older than her (hhhhh.) and they had this weird mildly-contentious relationship as adults where they grudgingly acknowledge they are both the most powerful Force users in the galaxy and are the only ones who mutually understand the legacy they bear and care about each other but also cannot be in the same room together and hold a civil conversation for more than five minutes before resorting to uncomfortable silence. Like when you’re at a family reunion and you’re automatically shunted with the only other kid around your age so you have to make conversation but you are just so fundamentally different there’s nothing to talk about. Unreal.

A NOTP I have with said character: Hhh. R*ylo. I’m one of those evil lesbians who hate that ship viciously and one of my dreams is to be one of the mean antis that that bully a shipper in a story that’s clearly exaggerated or made up and then get cancelled for having good taste.

A random headcanon:  I think he and Phasma used to spar a lot. I keep thinking about the five years he spent on the Finalizer pre-canon and I can’t reasonably justify the Knights of Ren hanging out with him for the entire time on a literal military ship and I like the idea of them being the only people that are reasonably on par physically (I also like how Phasma is an inch taller than him because....whew).

General Opinion over said character: God. He drives me wild. I have a lot of thoughts about him and how good he was in TFA and the pre-canon comics/novels as a really fucking good example of a morally-conflicted villain (especially the comics where it made it really clear that he was very much manipulated and gaslit since like…ten years old). Like! The way he could flip at will from drawing strength from both the light AND dark side of the Force is just!! So cool! The way his strength literally derives from moral conflict is just really interesting to me but….idk the way post-TFA he was thrown into a redemption (Rendemption) arc that hinged on Rey being a literal genuine fascist sympathizer made me just really disappointed. He had a lot of amazing potential to be either a really interesting semi-redeemed Byronic antihero OR a full on unhinged animalistic power-mad villain that Rey has to mercy-kill like a rabid dog. And then. Well. Yeah. I like him a lot in very specific contexts and flat out hate him in most others.

 Armitage Hux

Sexuality Headcanon: gay! He is gay! I have an entire list of reasons why he’s gay and it grows daily! Without a doubt a homosexual! Gay and repressed!

Gender Headcanon: Also a cis guy even though I still do have a lot of half-formed thoughts about gender in the First Order/post-collapse of the Empire society.

A ship I have with said character: Kylux! Again! I’m obsessed with how obsessed Hux is with Ren. He hates him so much it’s unreal. I keep reading the novelizations and thinking so fucking hard about how consumed Hux is with hatred for this one man. He’s so repressed. He’s so damaged. It’s unreal. The brainworms in my head have metamorphosed into moths and they’re flapping their wings so hard they’re disintegrating my grey matter. I think near-daily about how he personally went down to retrieve Ren from the collapse of Starkiller Base and yet would not touch him to drag him to shelter in the Hux graphic novel. Would you take off your glove to check his pulse or would you attempt to feel it through the leather and touch something’s dead skin rather than his living warmth. I’m so deeply unwell.

A BROTP I have with said character: Him and Phasma!!! The way they are on first-name terms with each other….the way one of the few times in the graphic novels you see him smile is when Phasma comes back onto the base…..the way they plotted to kill Brendol together….truly evil mlm/wlw solidarity you simply love to see it

A NOTP I have with said character: Oof I see a lil bit of shipping him with Resistance members (I think I’ve seen him with Rose and also Poe??) and I know TROS made the decision to have him defect from the First Order (out of. again. his obsessive hatred with another man. writing choices.) but it makes me INSANELY uncomfortable seeing people of color being shipped with a literal fascist parody of British colonialism and imperialism lmao like….just ship Kylux bro they’re mutually bad people AND a power couple

A random headcanon: Frankly at this point I joke so much about how much like a sick Victorian orphan he looks like that I could write an entire fake medical file for him but I’ll spare you all and simply say that I am incredibly partial to the headcanon that Hux is a freak that bites string cheese instead of peeling it like a normal person. Also…the implications that he Personally placed the tracker in Ren’s belt rather than someone else, so that he alone could keep tabs on him…..I’m unwell. Enough.

General Opinion over said character: If Ren is a character I love to hate, Hux is a character I hate that I love. I just. I can’t stop thinking about this gay little war criminal. It truly, genuinely baffles the mind how much information there is about him. It triggers that same little part of my brain that goes wild over like. ARGs and stuff. There’s just so much lore. With every new piece of canon or semi-canon information I learn about him I can feel my grip on sanity slipping. He owns a black robe. He has a personal hitman in the First Order ranks to poison people he doesn’t like. He drinks tea. He’s a bastard son. He’s great with kids. He was in charge of a squad of feral orphan child soldiers at five years old. I just. I just don’t get it. I’m enamored with him. His compulsive attention to grooming. His hubris. His ambition. How literally unhinged he is (the “rabid cur” line genuinely lives in my head rent free). The way he systemically killed every single person who saw him weak and abused as a child. There’s just so much to talk about with him. He’s so evil. He’s so fucked up. I love him so deeply. He is such a horrible person and he is so fun to make fun of and he is so fun to think about. God wants there to be a bullet in my head so badly.

[castiel-kline]

More thoughts on 15x18, because I’m really struggling with it. (I have lots of feelings, and a lot them are Not Pretty)

Let’s talk about the issue of Cas’s “true happiness.”

First of all, “true happiness” was never in the terms of the deal. The Empty never said Cas had to be truly happy, it only said he had to give himself “permission to be happy.” That ain’t the same thing. I feel like “true happiness” is an unreachable goal. It’s a light at the end of the tunnel that you can never reach because it doesn’t really exist. You can certainly find it in little moments along the way, but it’s not an epiphany. It’s a process. “Permission to be happy,” on the other hand, can be manufactured. It can be, “I feel like crap right now, I hate myself and my life is terrible, but I WILL be happy about watching this movie or hugging my friend.” Example- I did this today. I’ve been in a funk after this episode (hello, crippling attachment to fictional characters!) but I went over to a friend’s house and I met her new dog for the first time. And he jumped on me and I laughed and I thought, well- I still feel like crap. I still have a lot to process. I still have deadlines for actual life stuff looming over me and spiking my anxiety. But I will be happy now for this adorable little fluffball and my friend who I haven’t seen in months. I gave myself permission to be happy. 

And Cas in that scene didn’t look happy to me. He looked miserable. He looked like he was two seconds from shattering. We’ve seen Cas genuinely happy before- 14x08 comes to mind, when he laughed from pure joy at seeing Jack again. When he smiled at that little girl in early season 10. Hell, even season 6 Cas looked 1000 times happier when he went in to hug freshly-re-souled Sam than Cas did in *that* scene. When Cas is happy, there’s a lightness to him. It’s like some weight has been lifted. Cas in this episode wasn’t lightest when the Empty took him, but when he was talking to Jack. And that’s saying something because that was a fucking depressing conversation. 

And the lines everyone is talking about- “What I want is something I know I can’t have.” and “Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.” 

Oh boy. I saw a post today calling that toxic positivity, and it’s right. Cas basically said I Will Speak the Happiness into Existence Whether I Feel it or Not. 

He also said “I wondered what my true happiness could even look like, and I never found an answer.”

First off, honey, true happiness wasn’t part of the deal. But he did say he never found an answer. Which means, presumably, that whatever was going on in this scene wasn’t true happiness. He just dropped the pretense of it, and gave himself permission to be happy at a very strategic time in order to take out Billie and stop her from killing more people. Dean, yes, but Sam and Jack as well. If there was a chance they were still alive, you can damn well bet that Cas was gonna take it. Because he’s a strategist. He was a soldier for millions of years and he commanded Heavenly armies. I feel like that’s not a job Michael or Raphael or whoever else would give to just anybody. 

So what if what Cas wanted but could never have was happiness? And he forced himself to feel some so the Empty would come, and that’s why he was so “oh wow I love my friend.” And I’m not disputing that there’s love there. I don’t vibe with Destiel and I think something has got to be reciprocated before it can be canon, but whether it was platonic or romantic or something in between or something different altogether those two definitely had something going on. That is in no way an excuse for Dean treating him like crap for years, but we’ve all looked for the best in people, in things, even if they hurt us or disappointed us or really fucking pissed us off. Kinda like what I’m doing right now LMAO

And if you watch closely, Cas takes a fucking minute after he mentions Jack. He looked like he was in so much pain. His voice cracked when he mentioned Sam. In making the choice to sacrifice himself he was condemning himself to never seeing Sam again. Never seeing Jack again. And Sam and Cas love each other so damn much, and Cas loves Jack more than anything else. That was bound to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. 

So of course he focused on Dean. Because he loves him too, even though he probably shouldn’t sometimes, and he mustered up enough happiness for the Empty to come, and found some pride in himself and how he’s grown. I do believe he sort of accepted himself, and let go of some of his self-loathing at the last second. He cobbled together some last-minute peace. I’m proud of him for that. 

But I think I hate it, in all honestly. I DESPISE it as an ending for Castiel. It doesn’t do him justice in the slightest. It doesn’t begin to be in that realm. It was a mess, it was poorly written, he felt out of character (the fucking disconnect from Cas in his scenes with Jack this ep vs. this monstrosity... whoa nelly. I have whiplash). But I have to believe that there’s something like this in there, or I will go insane. I’m far too attached to Cas to just let this go without settling on an interpretation that isn’t “gay angel goes to superhell.” Totally valid to cope with 2012 tumblr humor, but dear god am I really struggling with this. It was bad, but I need to take it somewhat seriously for my own sanity.

And he’s dead. He’s gone, probably permanently. And the knowledge of that alone is enough to make me cry (listen... Castiel has gotten me through some crap in my life. I MISS him) and I will forever be angry that his ending wasn’t even about him. So hopefully my analysis helped you a little bit, if you’re in a Cas-loving pit and clawing your way out like me. 

I just think the timing of it was too perfect for Cas not to have been aware of what he was doing. It was too deliberate. And though I am all for Cas getting some kind of canonical queerness (even though all the SPN angels are technically canonically genderfluid/nonbinary/non-conforming, somewhere in that broad spectrum), I still think what he wanted but could never have was much more to do with himself rather than Dean. He really didn’t have to die, though, certainly not so terribly. I think I actually preferred his death in All Along the Watchtower. I wouldn’t trade late seasons Cas for anything, though, because (excepting this) he was rad. Killing the game. Dadstiel, Sam and Cas’s friendship- I loved watching those flourish in the late seasons. And everything I loved most about it was done so dirty. I’m just so tired. I wish I could mourn him without being angry and bitter at the writers. 

[factorialrabbits]

For that ask game, how about Zelda (I am also basic-haha). (And if you're feeling froggy, how about Lord of the Rings/anything by Tolkien?)

Eh why not both. I'm apparently using Spirit Tracks because I'm currently playing it.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Zelda. Zelda is so silly, I love her. The way she moves is really cool. She's scared of rats but she's Link's hype man, and she's just so good. She's doesn't want to be here at first and she just wants her body back, but she's doing her best!

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Link. I mean he's a toon Link how can you not baby him? He has all those expressions and smallness. Also put him and Zelda together and they just squish.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Anjean. Sure she's just your generic old lady quest NPC but she wrangles those kids well, and has tragic angst with one of the bad guys. Plus, steam powered wheelchair things that all the guardian Lokomo have are really cool I want one. Also! She does /not/ know all of the things. She's the elderly mentor lady but she's taken off guard and needs to be taught more info and I like that.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Teacher. I mean look at him, with his anxiety but desperate need to find and look after the princess, even putting on a bad disguise to get you to take him all over the world to try find her. He's the dad she needs but appears not to have.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I'm not sure I have one in Spirit Tracks. Hm. Is saying I like the rabbit guy and his wife controversial? I /like/ the rabbit haven and catching bunnies. Even if I think Bunio should put a longer shirt on. Does that work? I can't really think of anyone else... If you liked Cole or somehting, but I don't. And I already used Staven for the next option...

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Staven (Byrne for you Americans out there). He's not really a favourite, but I would like to pick him apart and examine his innards while squinting at him.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): The fortune teller I'm sorry I know she's not evil or anything I just cannot stand the fact I have to go through the stupid fortune telling thing using the mic whenever I need anything from her, and half of it is generically scammy.

Now Tolkien stuff, lets see what I can remember...

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Elrond. I mean that's just easy. You'd think its Earendil from the rest of this list, but I absolutely promise you its Elrond.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): I was going to put him elsewhere but, no, this one has to be Earendil. I cannot really comprehend with putting anyone else here. Kid Earendil in the Fall of Gondolin drafts, the only place he gets to speak rather than just be referenced, is my little one. Even when he grows up I keep him there.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Tuor is a fun character actually. (I... yes okay this family name is cool).

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): ... Does Celebrimbor count? Erestor? No? Okay I'm actually going to pick three people - Falathar, Erellont, and Aerandir. They get like a single line, BUT they are the dudes who sailed with Earendil and I can fit so so so many headcanons into them.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I'm going to put Turin here not necessarily because he fits best but he's definitely winning miserable awards. Just fucked up everything whereever he went until he killed himself. Children of Hurin was the second Tolkien book I ever read, my parents mistaking me losing a free bookmark advertising it in the bathroom as a hint I wanted it for Christmas. I definitely read it too young, and it definitely leaves influences on things.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Boromir. I mean, look at him. I don't actually want him to suffer, its just kinda funny, you know?

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Denethor, but specifically Denethor from the PJ films. In other mediums I'll remain basic and say I'm putting Morgoth in super hell. Or Sauron. Maybe both.

I feel like thanks to fandom half my 'barely shows up' sort of faves are fan favourites anyway... Celebrimbor, Celebrian, Erestor... I see all three of them a lot. Or maybe I just linger in the right places. Also now I'm in half a mind to ramble but definitely too tired for that.

[trans-witch-cauldron]

blue, pink, n purple (i dont actually know what superhell is but im gonna assume that its bad-)

Blue: you’re the only bitch here I respect

That sounds like a you problem babe 😘

Pink: we will have a summer wedding

Okay it doesn’t really matter but would you mind if it was in spring or fall instead? 👉👈 only if you don’t mind-

Purple: we’re going to super hell together <3

Askhsbvsbdbdgsv adventurer 🥺🥺🥺

From what I’ve gathered, super hell is a super ultra bonus round of hell and cas went to it for being gay. So- so us going to super hell together is really g-