#back when books were harder to obtain

[yunessa]

Ten thousand words in. It's not a bad start for the next chapter, but I'm really enjoying where I'm going with this. I see my story as kind of episodic? Not everything is plot-heavy or moving that plot forward. It's a whole basket of differently colored yarn all tangled up.

[featherlight-touches]

A Helpful Cyno

Cyno/Tighnari

a/n: some fluff at 3am, yay!

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

Cyno discovered it during a cuddle session with Tighnari near the start of their relationship. It made sense to him why Tighnari responded this way when it was discovered but Cyno truly believed it was the most adorable thing he had ever witnessed in all his years.

Tighnari, being part fox, shared many common traits from his ancestors. For example, good hearing, a heightened sense of smell, agility and an occasional purr which he would always deny. These all made Tighnari, well, Tighnari and Cyno loved Tighnari.

His more recent discovery, the one that melted his heart every time, was that Tighnari loved a good tummy rub. The usually stern forest watcher went into a limp, blissed out mess once his tummy received a gentle rub or trace of fingers against it.

One evening, Tighnari had settled in his bed for the night, reading a book he had recently obtained from Sumeru City. His curiosity was piqued by the title alone and found himself quite intrigued by the story told.

Cyno, late home as per usual, had decided to take his place for the evening sprawled across Tighnari’s lap, one of his favourite places to rest.

“Busy day?” Tighnari asked down to the clearly exhausted General in his lap which was responded by a very tired groan of confirmation. Tighnari hummed and focused back on the pages before him whilst gently using his ungloved fingers to stroke through Cyno’s locks, the touch very comforting.

“How was your day?” Cyno then asked, craning his neck to see the forest ranger’s face behind his book.

“Fine. Although, I think I need to start putting more safety notices up so people pay attention to them when venturing out into the forest. If I have to treat someone again for something as silly as ‘gee, this plant looks edible I wonder what this tastes like’, I’m going to strangle them myself.”

Tighnari’s little rant caused Cyno to huff out a laugh. He knew that Tighnari didn’t mean it, but he understood the frustrations that came with being the leader of the forest rangers and he admired him greatly for it.

He gazed into Tighnari’s eyes for a moment, and he could see the exhaustion masked by the determination to read the book in his hand. If Cyno knew Tighnari, which he was certain he did, the forest ranger would get no sleep tonight because of this book and it was up to Cyno to intervene, he decided.

Cyno’s eyes lowered to the stomach that was level with his head and reached his hand out, letting the palm of his hand flatten out against Tighnari’s tummy. He smiled when he felt the slight twitch beneath his hand at the sudden contact.

“Don’t you start getting ideas,” Tighnari warned, playfully.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cyno feigned innocence, his hand gently gliding over the soft fabric of Tighnari’s vest. A sweet sound of satisfaction left Tighnari’s lips, and his ears began to twitch.

“Yes, you do,” Tighnari sighed but stubbornly tried to keep his focus on the book in his hands. This wouldn’t do, Cyno thought. He needed to try harder.

“I just want you to relax and get a good sleep. But that’s not going to happen unless you put the book down,” Cyno kept up his ministrations, feeling a tickle on his arm from Tighnari’s tail which swayed in comfort.

“You’re exaggerating!”

“Am I?”

Tighnari huffed and went back to reading, doing his best to ignore Cyno.

Desperate measures were needed. Cyno’s hand halted and grabbed the bottom of the vest that protected the bare skin underneath. As soon as skin touched skin, Tighnari gasped.

“Cyno! Your hands are cold!” He complained, lowering his book to try and grab the General’s wrist, but Cyno’s hand was quick to counter and began to claw at the soft skin of Tighnari’s tummy, reducing the forest ranger into a giggly mess. “Cynohoho!”

“Cy-yes!” he joked and if Tighnari wasn’t too busy giggling and squirming he would have definitely chided him for that joke.

“Plehehehease!” Tighnari pleaded, the squeaks starting to mix in with his laughter which Cyno took as his cue to return to more gentler methods.

“Alright, I won’t tickle anymore,” Cyno chuckled, letting his fingertips gently glide against Tighnari’s tummy, gradually applying more pressure to rubbing. Tighnari’s giggles eventually subsided and was replaced with the sweet sounds of his purrs. Success! “You’re adorable, Nari.”

“Shut up,” Tighnari’s cheeks tinted with a faint pink before he finally placed his book off onto the bedside desk and laying his head back into the soft pillows. “You win.”

Cyno smiled at his victory before placing a soft kiss to Tighnari’s tummy.

“Sleep well, Tighnari.”

[elijahs-dumps]

Nikolai Lantsov and his constant identity crisis known as Sturmhond

I'm currently in the process of re-reading all the Grishaverse books, and I'm about to start King of Scars. But before even starting to re-read that book I can see the seeds being planted when it comes to Nikolai's struggles with his identity. I feel like this is a really underrated aspect of Nikolai's character, which is strange to me since it's basically what his entire main arc is about in the King of Scars duology. This is why it was hinted at in Siege and Storm as well as Ruin and Rising.

Nikolai loves to be loved. Because of this, he is constantly changing his personality or demeanor to please whoever he is talking too. Alina mentions this many times through out Siege and Storm, and even believes it to be "creepy" how easily Nikolai can change himself for others. It's part of the reason why it takes her so long to truly trust Nikolai.

However, Sturmhond is a persona created by Nikolai for Nikolai. The differences between Sturmhond and Nikolai are minute, but they're undeniably there. For example, Sturmhond relies on his greed to make his decisions. He's also quicker to resort to violence than Nikolai usually is. He's still clever, forthcoming, charming, flirty, rich, well-respected. All the basic things that make Nikolai himself to the untrained eye, but it's the smaller differences that truly matter. In any role that Nikolai has to play through out his life, he always tries to keep the "main" or "most obvious" parts of himself present. These small changes are what make the bigger difference, especially since it's harder for others to pick up on when he interacts with them.

Sturmhond was originally created as a way for Nikolai to command respect or instill fear with his crew and his enemies, when it was necessary. Being a sea captain required Nikolai to abandon a lot of the things he'd learned while growing up in the Grand Palace and serving in the First Army. Thus, Sturmhond was born!

But after Sturmhond's reputation was secured, Nikolai most definitely could've started to slip back into his true self. The persona was not as necessary anymore. But Nikolai, at least while he was at sea, still didn't truly know who he was when he was not performing for others. I think Nikolai clung to Sturmhond because he was scared of having to figure out who he is when he's not pretending all the time.

We see Nikolai contemplating becoming Sturmhond again near the end of Rule of Wolves, very briefly. And t's safe to say a big part of Nikolai misses his life as a privateer. Sturmhond has always been and always will be the freest Nikolai will ever feel. Because, there are differences between the two identities, but it's all still Nikolai in the end. Yes, Sturmhond was inevitable in many ways, especially since Nikolai needed to avoid the risk of capture. But when Nikolai became a privateer, I think he knew a new identity was bound to be needed. Nikolai chose at life at sea, therefore he chose to become Sturmhond. While most of his other identities were most likely born out of necessity. This is partially why he's so attached to the persona of Sturmhond, because it's one of the only things in Nikolai's life that he has been able to decide for himself.

That's why I think the concept of Sturmhond is the main contributor to Nikolai's issues with identity. Because even though Nikolai always knew he needed to obtain the throne eventually, he still enjoyed his freedom. In fact, freedom might be the only thing Nikolai craves more than validation from others. This scares Nikolai, because validation from others is something he can almost always get when he needs to. But his freedom, away from Ravka and its royal court, is not something he's ever been able to control in that way.

[hocuspocusbabyy]

A ring of bright light: Chapter 2. ‘Perfect stranger.’

Warnings: none?

Paring: Eloise Bridgeton x Female OC

Description: Eloise meets her suitor.

Word count: 1.5k

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

“A Diamond knows how to dance.”

“A Diamond knows when to nod.”

“A Diamond knows if to smile.”

When her elder brother Anthony married, Eloise knew the burden of marriage would fall next to her. The entire situation with Kate had bought her a year and a winter at Aubrey house was something even Whistledown could not penetrate.

She knew the weight of her name, of the responsibilities that wrapped around her like smoke. The towering legacy of her father, sisters, brothers…of their family now trailing as she prepared to marry also. Anthony had set it up, a young, wealthy and respectable Count from the northern coastal region.

Count Arthur Brennan.

The family had hands in agriculture, supplying cattle to 80% of the tons across England. Though they had yet to meet, Daphne had assured her of his worth and good looks as though that would sway her any further from the inevitable truth.

She expected difficulties. Gossip, growing pains, resistance from the ton who would have preferred a representative from their family to be wed in her place. Though she found it increasingly harder to dispute them. She had focused on the future, her mother, the family and simply moving forward. She had pushed against the curve for long enough, the impending arrival of Penelope and Collins first child was a testament to that. Eloise simply had to take the bullet now.

Unfortunately.

"Are you always so silent when you’re concentrating?" Arthur chuckled, leading her delicately across the room.

“Doesn’t do well for them to know I am a bad dancer,” she sighed as she glared down at her feet.

“I’ve never heard of a ton who could not dance.” The gentleman, her husband to be quoted, bemusement settling deep into his features as he watched the frustration vibrate and ricocheted from his bride.

“I simply preferred books over tap shoes.”

“Ah, well that at the very least may help us.”

“How so?” Eloise asked, finally looking up towards her dance partner, blowing an unregulated strand of hair away from her eyes. The tingles of ashen locks create a mesh filter against her view.

Arthur grinned, as the woman’s face finally appeared to him unobscured. “Dancing and reading are quite similar,” slowing their movements the Count took a step back to take in the princess properly. The way gluttonous creatures stared at prey or children dreamed of chocolates - Eloise struggled to distinguish between the two. “You simply have lose yourself in it.”

“Follow my lead.” Arthur breathed leaning in against her ear, “just because we are forced to be here, does not mean we cannot obtain any joy from it.”

Eloise almost let out a smile at the observation, at the very least her brother had found her someone with a working pair of eyes and brain. Which was more than could be said for many of the people gathered in the ballroom around them. She was half sure Lady Downling would go blind with anguish should they dance a moment longer. Her daughter had been the prime pick for the upcoming season before Eloise had agreed to meet the count.

“Here,” Arthur pulled Eloise close, situating hands where they needed to be. Guiding her through the process, as any gentle person would.

“You will step on my feet,” Eloise protested and tried to step out of the grasp.

“Put your feet on mine.”

“What?” Eloise blurted out, surprised by the demand.

“If you’re worried I’ll step on your toes then just put them atop mine. It will also help you with footwork and knowing where to place your feet.”

For a moment, she thought about it and then, hesitantly, recently there were moments Eloise found herself on the verge of what could only be referred to as complete and utter madness. Though she had to admit, she was intrigued.

Eloise placed her feet on top of the Count. Placing one of her hands on his shoulder and clasping onto the other for dear life. “Now a dance involves two people. Very similar to a conversation. No matter how good of dancers they are, they have to be able to synchronise with their partner, watch them in a way a strategist would.”

They took one step and then another and then another, following the rhythm of the music that played softly through the walls. Eloise struggled with the urge to look down at her feet with each step, but understood the taste and marked her prey. Eyes baring down into the Count, a sight she would apparently have to get used to, though she couldn’t say the particular blue held was unappreciated.

They danced, softly swaying with the room. The air around them painted a light golden hue as the chandelier burned down. An arrow and a deer, circling one another till their inevitable connection and demise.

“How did you learn to dance so well? I did not take you for the type that would enjoy this,” Eloise whispered, not wanting to be louder than the music, not that it were possible, however with so many eyes on her she grew weary of ears too.

“And how is it you know so much of me without having met me before?”

“I did my research.” Eloise deadpanned, her elbows sticking out at the most uncomfortable angle as they moved.

“Well I hope that I may still surprise you.” He explained a quaint expression encapsulating the man’s face. Eloise took a moment to take in his other features as the dance continued. Such as her groom's hand the skin around his left was scared, rough and discoloured. His skin glowed a soft pink rather than a pale freckled white as were the rest of him. It made her stomach knot how sometimes cruel fates are less to the living acknowledgments of what had been done.

Rumour has it the count had sustained the injury during a fire at his estate, a fire which undoubtedly took his father's life and thus his youth along with it. Ascending to the head of his family at the mere age of 19. Maybe that was why Anthony and he had gotten along so well, they were of similar origins. Count Pieré Brennan had died five years ago, leaving behind his only son and second wife to stake claim.

A claim which would now belong to Eloise also… should everything go according to plan.

Her gaze trickled off to the hundreds of paintings hung in all depictions on the vast walls, the familiar faces of the family, knoblemen and people who had stayed, many of Eloise herself at multiple ages. The chandelier hung high and cast a circle of light across the wooden floor, illuminating single moments of what this place was – a home for all that had needed it.

There had always been something unreal and eerie about the palace. It wasn't prettiness no - it was an ethereal grace that was breathtaking, The halls tied themselves like tethered string weeping upon the draft of silence, the cracks peaked beneath the pale and flawed wallpaper that flaked like skin; mimicking that of eyelids. Though seemingly glowed in the dim light of the drowning day, flourished under the bewilderment of her childhood, Eloise remembered these walls and the floors she’d always dreamed would taste like honey.

Not to mention the many faces and bodies which resided within the palace at any given moment, for multiple variations of time. The vast chess floor of marble and oak glazed beneath her feet, as an advanced player Eloise knew every creaking floorboard and loose tile throughout the whole palace.

"A little rust is nothing when the heart is of pure gold." Her father would say.

Then her eyes locked with another. Eloise faulted, her feet surly would have let her stumble if Arthur hadn’t been there. A pair in which she had never acquainted before.

“Hold tight and trust me,” Arthur whispered suddenly. They dipped, Eloise’s cheeks dusted a light pink from the rush of blood to her head, her previous target of attention now lost to the crowd.

“What was that for?” Eloise forced a laugh, trying to send light hearted, to push past her loss of concentration.

Arthur sighed leaning forward again, “If this were a battle you would surely be dead.”

“Lucky for me we’re just dancing.” Eloise pointed back, a sickening feeling of awareness, transparency, being seen flooding her senses.

"Our engagement has yet to be announced," Arthur said, trying his best to look cavalier. “Make the most of the time between now and then.” The general helped the princess step down and crouched into a bow. “Until the next time we meet.”

Eloise watched the Lord’s fleeing figure, her body alight with questions for her future spouse and his sudden departure. Her questions soon answered as the object of her distraction stepped back into view.

“Eloise darling” Violet called, noticing her granddaughter left unattended, “do join us Collin here was just telling us of his newest book.”

“It’s a memoir of my time in Prussia.” The man explained as Eloise made way across the room, desperately trying to ignore the burning sensation that had settled upon the centre of her back. If a gaze could kill, Eloise was surely a prism with light penetrating directly through.

[srirax619]

New Chapter of We Got Here Together

Got a snippet of the upcoming chapter of my Trust Falls AU. Hope y'all enjoy. I know it's been a bit. Battling writers block, burnout and general life drama makes it harder.

“Where the Hell were you?!”

Stan was ripped from pleasant childhood memories to the present by the deep boom of his brother’s voice. He looked up to see Ford’s face red and his expression a mix of fury and terror. Ford rushed over to him and quickly inspected him for injuries. 

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought the rift had pulled you in! I thought that I had– I couldn’t find– WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!” Ford was clearly not sure if he was more angry or distraught. 

Oh, Stan thought. That was stupid of me. 

“Hey, no, I was just taking a walk to give you a chance to cool off. I am fine. See?” He gave a big grin and twirled around. “All accounted for. No need to freak out.” Ford’s eyes somehow got even bigger and he shoved his brother’s shoulders roughly.

“Never. Scare. Me. Like. That. Again!” Ford bellowed. Stan put his hands up placatingly, curling his shoulders in on himself in shame. 

“I didn’t mean to worry you, just… was trying to be nice. Won’t happen again.” Stan stared down at his shoes, nudging the ground with the toe of his boot. 

Ford’s mouth opened and closed a few times and then he groaned and threw his hands up. “See that you don’t!” and with that he stomped back to the safety of the camp, glancing over his shoulder now and then to make sure Stan was following. 

Ford sat tinkering with some of the tech as a way to occupy his hands. Stan sat a few feet away, giving him space, and going through the logs on the gauntlet. He glanced up at his brother. “So I saw some cool stuff, you wanna hear about it?” Ford looked over, expression still fierce. 

“Yes…!" Stan had to stifle a chuckle at the anger and curiosity battling in his brother’s voice. 

After explaining what the gauntlet was telling them and showing Ford the holograph of the scanned mushrooms, Stan asked Ford if he remembered the camping trip they took with their Ma and Pa. 

“Oh yea! I had that foraging book and you obtained that sample for me…” Ford looked off into the distance and smiled softly, his previous anger forgotten for the moment. 

“Well, Gauntlet says these were munchdooms, so if we go explore together, no samples for now. Unless the tent is hiding some microscopes and gas masks.” Ford snorted at the old joke and his shoulders finally relaxed.  

“I wonder if that device would classify capsaicin as ‘segura papa soncumir’” Ford thought aloud. Stan groaned. 

“PARA CONSUMIR, Ford. Not Papa. Papas are potatoes. And ‘consumir’ isn’t even that far off from ‘consume’, jeez.” Ford bristled, flushed and glared at his brother. 

“I –” his face got gradually redder, his eyebrows deeper. “Stanley, it’s not as if I ever had any need to learn a language like THAT.” Stan raised an eyebrow, mentally daring his brother to cross the line and say what he actually meant. Their parents had never been terribly open-minded when it came to people of other races. They were furious when Shermie had married a Mexican woman. 

“Like what, Ford?” 

“Like– Like–!” 

“Like your niece and nephew speak with their mother?” Ford’s eyes widened and his face went pale. He had the decency to look ashamed and glowered down at his six-fingered hands.  

“...I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“Glad to hear it.” Stan cleared his throat. He didn’t want to be giving Ford more reason to be upset. He just hated that aspect of Jersey.  “Anyway, if you want more lessons in how to entender Spanish, just ask. I’m happy to share whatever I know. Sorry you don’t have a better teacher, but you’re good at working with what you’ve got.” Stan patted his brother’s shoulder and stood up to head into the tent for the nutrition pills. 

“You hungry?” Stan called from inside the tent, grabbing two pills. 

As he stepped back out, Ford sighed deeply, staring off into the distance. “No, not really.” Stan raised an eyebrow and stepped into his brother’s line of vision, hand on one pushed out hip. 

He put on his squeakiest impression of their Ma. “Stanford Filbrick Pines, I slaved over this hot stove for hours to put this meal together, and you WILL eat every last bite, you hear me, young man? There are people who would kill to have the life you have, and the least you could do is be grateful!” Stan punctuated his speech by flipping his longer hair over his shoulder unnecessarily.

Ford laughed so hard he had to lean back and gestured to Stan to give him the pill. 

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, part 18

Synopsis: soulmate AU where you have the same mark on your body as your soulmate, and if your soulmate dies, you die too. Alastor needs to make sure that his soulmate is safe so he can continue his reign - whatever that takes. Though it looks like we have a couple secrets of our own.

Previous part

Part 18: a new purpose

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He's thousands of years old..." I said aloud as I stared at the ceiling. It was no wonder he was so powerful and knew absolutely everything. He had been around for centuries. He had witnessed the Great Collapse and watched humanity struggle to rebuild itself. How long had he spent on the surface and how many in Hell? It felt like there was so much I was completely unaware of when it came to him. Yet he knew everything about me because I had lived a fraction of a second compared to his life.

Despite this, it started to explain some of his behavior. His impatience with me must be from my lack of magic knowledge and how long it's taking me to unravel a curse. It would also explain his frustration with my existence in general. If he hadn't been tied down by a soulmate for hundreds of years, suddenly having one that knew nothing about the dangerous Demon world would cause concern. He's well known as a dangerous person on the surface and clearly isn't afraid to fight with other Overlords or even the King of Hell himself. He is a powerful Demon with a very less so powerful soulmate.

I grunted as I threw the covers off. I had healed plenty and felt back to my normal self, but the burn marks still lingered on my palm and face. I dressed in my usual plain pants and short sleeve for the day. Training with Alastor would start again but this time I was ready.

My conversation with Charlie sparked a genius idea. She had tried to make a hotel for Demons to attempt redemption. She had created a place separate from the rest of Hell, a place away from temptation and evil. Someplace secluded and safe. That was exactly what I was going to do.

Ring fights operated because of the fighters. Without fighters they were useless and uninteresting. If I could save the fighters, specifically the younger ones, and hide them away in a secret Sanctuary, the rings would have to find other means of obtaining fighters. Children were the easiest because they were the most defenseless. They were easy to manipulate physically and mentally, making escape impossible even if they grew older. Adults were much harder and not worth the effort.

Creating a Sanctuary would allow me something to defend at a central point. Once enough children were saved from the rings, it would be a few years before they could start up properly again. Once they did, I could go out again to save those children, too. It would be a constant process but it would get easier with time. I would likely have more help as the children grew older. How long could I live for?

I had to keep this idea a secret, though. Alastor wanted me to be knowledgable enough in magic to the point he won't have to worry about protecting me from other powerful Demons. Once that was accomplished, I had free reign of the world. I had known him long enough to know that he likes the power and control of his puppets, and cares very much for his reputation. The Radio Demon was soulbound to the Snake Demon, the one who attacks rings and saves the fighters. Good and evil. Safety and danger. We were opposites. I had a feeling he didn't like that.

The Radio Demon didn't grace us with his presence until later in the afternoon. I was invested in my book at the window when he slithered out of the walls. I kept my Demon side hidden and nonchalantly closed my book to give him my full attention.

"Before we do anything," I started, "what is the difference between Overlords magic and normal Demons?"

"Intriguing question." He sat on one of the chairs closest to me and laid his cane on his lap. "It's more simpler than you think. Overlords start as your average Demon with control over Element and Advance magic. Once they start making soul deals, their power grows and they obtain Existence magic."

"What are soul deals?"

"A soul-binding contract. Want me to demonstrate?" He held out his clawed hand, a faint green glow outline reaching over his whole body. Even his eyes seemed to have a tint of green to them.

"No thanks," I said. The glow disappeared as he straightened in the chair and fixed his suite. "What's the difference between a soul deal and a soulmate?"

"From what I understand, a soulmate connection is a mental tie to an individual. A soul deal is simply a contract but magic ensures both sides hold their end of the deal."

"You and Husker have one."

"In a way. Unfortunately for him, he lost his soul in a gamble. I have no side to uphold."

"Right."

"Any other questions?"

"How do you know all of this?"

"My dear, when you've been around for as long as I have, life can get boring. You look for anything to keep you entertained."

"Where did you get all the books though?"

His smile actually seemed to soften. "My mother collected them. She was the one who introduced me to magic." He spoke fondly of her, suggesting he had a close relationship with her. "Anything else?"

"Not right now."

"Good. We're attempting illusion magic today." He stood up and held his cane behind his back. "It requires imagination. Can you handle that?" My gaze hardened and I stood up without a remark. "We'll start simple, then. Picture something small on the desk."

Per usual, it never worked on the first try. I tried to imagine a rose lying on the corner of the large desk. My fingers fluttered as the frustration started to build in my head. I knew I was using magic because of the faint glow of dark purple in the corners of my vision. It didn't help that I could feel Alastor's presence just on the other side of my shields. He wasn't invading but he was there, watching.

I took a deep breath and tried closing my eyes, but something sharp nicked my forehead. My eyes snapped open to Alastor withdrawing his clawed hand. "Keep your eyes open. It doesn't work properly with them closed."

I rubbed the spot on my forehead. I let my Demon side come through so all my effort was being directed at this one, simple task. When I attempted it again, the faint outline of the rose came through. My excitement knocked it back into nothingness, taking my pride with it.

Alastor sat back down with his hands clasped in his lap. "Keep going.”

I held out my hand to the desk and brought the outline back. I tried to look past my black claws, focusing on the task rather than my nature. I kept my back to the fireplace so Alastor was on one side, still in view, and the table on the other. His presence didn't move from its original spot at my shields.

I tensed the muscles in my arm and tried to move all my energy through it. A smile crept on my face when the rose started to color and eventually sit fully on the desk. Alastor crossed to the desk and put his hand on it, abruptly snuffing it out.

"Hey--"

"An illusion is an illusion, unless you put more energy and matter into it. You will repeat the process until you can physically hold it in your hand." He conjured the rose into his own claw and held it up to his nose. "I expect such before I return."

"Where are you going?"

"I have a meeting with Rosie. We have important matters to discuss."

He disappeared without a warning. I let out an exasperated sigh and collapsed in one of the chairs. I looked around at the quiet, still library. I held my hand out and closed my eyes, recreating a perfect rose on the desk in a heartbeat.

****

"So how's the reading going?" Rosie asked enthusiastically.

"I hadn't realized soulmate magic was so expansive," Alastor admitted. The two of them were enjoying tea in her store together, just like old times.

"And how is the sweet thing doing?"

"Quite well, actually. She now wants to learn our magic, though I'm unsure of the reason behind it."

"Well did ya ask her?"

"In a way. Though I suspect I'll know soon enough when we attempt mind magic again. For now, I will take what I can with her. She seems to change on the spot without warning."

Rosie laughed. "You're an awful lot like that, too."

"Say, Rosie darling," he summoned a brown book in his claws, "how much of the information in this book can I trust?"

"I would say it's pretty accurate. It was written during the Great Collapse. Why do you ask?"

"I read that soulmates can combine energy. This is obviously written by a Human so I wonder if that energy could also mean magic."

"Hmm, that sounds plausible."

"If she's as powerful as we think, I can only imagine what can be done if our magic were to combine."

"You'll have to have a strong mental connection with her for that to happen."

"We both know I'm more than capable of handling any kind of power. I need her to be mentally capable of such. I need a strong connection on her part."

Rosie let out a sigh. "How do you plan to do that, exactly?"

"I'm going to do what I do best."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note:

Dun dun duuuuuunnnn. What exactly does Alastor do best? Well we all know he’s good at a lot of things. Hmmm, I wonder 😏

Let me know your thoughts!

[omkookie]

Where has he done wrong? 

⌈ ⚠️ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ⌉ Yandere!Chevalier, Implied Noncon/Rape, Mentioned dead body + Imprisonment, The reader is crumbling apart.

“No! Stay away from me!” You screamed at him, not knowing that you were bringing back memories of when he was a child, and his mother did the same exact thing. Chevalier remembers it all. Every time his mother had a meltdown, every time she was in hysterics… He remembers it all far too well, and seeing you like her left a bad taste in his mouth. 

Where has he done wrong?..

Imprisoning you was an awful thing that no human could take, but Chevalier did it all for your safety… The women of Rhodolite’s royal court were all doomed to die, and suffer a cruel fate. His mother was proof of that, and so were all of the other women the late king had fancied. He didn’t want you to suffer like them. As a result, he did his best to prevent it. 

He protected you from all of the malice in court, He eliminated all threats… He even got rid of spies sent here by that eye patch bastard who wanted to keep track of you.

Locking you in his room for so long, isolating you from all the others was the right thing. 

The others were dangerous to you. He knew far too well from the countless number of assassins that he cut down. You would not be safe near people. A simple commoner amongst nobles would be shunned, Treated with disrespect and disregarded even if she was the future Queen. He did everything to protect you. 

He almost cut Leon down for you. Nearly starting a war with the domestic faction, because his foolish brother tried to meddle with your business. 

How were you mentally unstable? 

Why did you end up so afraid of him?

Despite the countless books that he’s read and knowledge that he has, he can’t comprehend your situation… Or he refuses to. Maybe his mind didn’t want to admit that everything he did to you was wrong and inhumane, even monster-like. 

He looks down at his feet in frustration, before he moves towards your curled up body. You were sobbing on the floor, your cries refusing to die down even when you felt him wrap his arms around you. In fact, you were probably crying harder now because he touched you.

He holds you close to him, petting your head like you were some child he had to comfort, and he lets out a sigh. “Get yourself together, Simpleton.” 

It’s an order. 

Everything that leaves his mouth is an order. 

You bit your lip, trying to muffle your cries, but tears continued streaming down your face. “You’re a monster!” You somehow rasp those horrible words out between tears. His arms around you tighten as he is once again reminded of his mother. 

She said the same things. 

“Enough.” He picks you up, carrying you over to the bed on which he throws you down mercilessly. “Don’t do it! Don’t touch me!” You scream at him whilst trying to scratch and hit him. All of your resistance was merely because you didn’t know what love was.

He’s sure of it. 

You don’t know what it’s like to love someone as much as he loves you. You don’t know what it’s like to harbor such affection and feelings. You were clueless. So clueless, that he’d have to teach you. He’d have to keep you here, in the confines of his room until your mental state improved enough for him to take you out and present you as his Queen. You’d have to stay in his room and study. Inform yourself enough to make yourself a smart woman who is suitable to stay by his side. Knowledge is power, and while you are in his room you have more than enough time to obtain that power. 

You’ll come to terms with your feelings sooner or later, and realize that you do love him. 

You’ll love him. 

And for now, he’ll indulge in your body to show his love for you physically.

When you do come to that realization that you love him he’ll forgive you for all of your childishness. For behaving like his mother. 

He strips, taking his sweet time to peel his clothes off as you quit thrashing and simply lay on the bed motionless. What was to come has happened enough times for you to know that it’s hopeless. You can’t do anything against him. Compared to Chevalier, you were weak. Weak, fragile… frail…. A gentle little bunny who could not fight back against a beast. 

Looking up at the ceiling, you tried to ignore the stench of blood in the air, as well as the slayed body of your maid on the floor. This was the consequence of getting caught by Chevalier. Anyone who tried to help you was brutally murdered in his flashy cold-blooded style.

He gets on top of you, and you simply avert your eyes towards the bookshelves, Not wanting to see his face. You stare at the colorful book covers as his hands unbutton your plain white dress, and his fingers deftly take off your underwear. “It wasn’t so difficult to stop crying now, was it?” He asks, making you feel the urge to kick him. He sighs while throwing your dress to the side, finally stripping you bare before him. 

His lips are on your neck in an instant, and he sucks another harsh bruise amongst the countless number of hickies littering your collarbone, neck and chest. You don’t grace him with a response, and he doesn’t look too bothered by it. 

Even if he once considered love a worthless and unnecessary emotion, he could not deny that it had turned into a motivator for him. A motivator to work hard, expand the kingdom, and strengthen Rhodolite’s relationship with its neighbors. He wanted to work hard just for you, Maybe to impress you… Maybe to make you proud. Maybe, all he wanted all these years was love? which he never received, so he decided it was a useless thing. 

But you can give him that love now, right? Sooner or later, you’ll give him your affection and attention. Only for now… he’ll resort to receiving your affection physically, as you don’t even dare to look at him.

What an odd twist of fate. Is it because of Chevalier’s mother that he turned out to be so screwed?

[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 20

Word Count: 3.1K Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. Chapter: 20/? A/N: your eyes do not deceive you, that's right, two posts in one day. Where is my prize? 😅😅 but I am very surprised at myself that I was able to post both Twilight stories. Also, don't hate me for that ending... My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts  or buy me a coffee to support me and my love of writing Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • Business If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Please check if you’re tagged in the story, I’ve reached the limit of tags on Twilight again it seems. 😅

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Chapter 20

Time moved weirdly when you were stuck in the same routine. Days muddled together, only certain events sticking out. There were no beginnings or ends. There were only moments awake and moments asleep. That was how (Y/N) could tell that time had passed. When she was conscious, she could see that things had changed.

Her life consisted of work, school, Paul, her friends, and her family. There was nothing more. There was nothing less. Simply the same cycle, over and over again. It was good enough in the beginning. The semblance that things were getting better made her want to believe it.

But time was not kind to lies. As the seconds passed, the harder it was to keep her cracked façade whole. She could smile, she could laugh, she could enjoy life as it happened to her. Still, there was something that was always missing. A gaping hole in the middle of her chest that she covered every day.

(Y/N) had to believe that things got better. Even if at that moment it felt like things would turn worse, she needed to believe that they would change. She was getting everything she had dreamed of, everything she had worked so hard to obtain. And yet, there was a sadness inside her that didn’t allow her to enjoy it.

Two months had passed since the last time she had cried for them. Eight weeks since her eyes had dried and the pit had opened inside her. Since she had rid herself of the idea that they were ever coming back… that he was ever coming back.

She thought over the words she had told Bella. She needed to take a first step; any step that would make the life she was living real. She owed it to herself, she owed it to her mother, she owed it to her brother, she owed it to every person that had been beside her through it all.

“What’re you doing in my room, Paul?” (Y/N) was startled as she saw her friend’s reflection in the mirror before her. She had been focused on studying; her head engrossed in her books all afternoon. “Is everything okay?”

“Not exactly,” Paul responded “Jacob Black is going through his first shift and he’s freaking out. Won’t listen to anyone, not even Embry.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the woods with Sam and Embry.”

She followed the boy out of the house and into the darkness of the forest. Why they needed her help, she did not understand. (Y/N) was the least versed in the supernatural world. But if there was something she understood it was feeling scared and overwhelmed by it. It was an all-consuming implosion of the mind. Everything they had known as reality became a rose-colored canvas over what was truly happening.

Far into the trees and away from the town, Sam and Embry stood before a giant russet-furred wolf. The animal moved from side to side, his eyes far away and scared. The boys tried to calm him, lifting their arms in a show of peace. But it did nothing to calm the poor boy that was stuck in his wolf form.

“Guys, step away from him,” (Y/N) called as she closed the distance between her and the wolf. “He’s scared.”

“Paul, I told you not to bring her here,” Sam seethed. “She could get hurt. Again.”

“He did nothing wrong,” she reprimanded. “Just get away from him, please.”

They quickly did as told, leaving the girl and the wolf. But she could still feel her brother’s cautious stare following her every move. (Y/N) was tentative in her steps, showing Jacob no sign of danger. She stared into the brown of his eyes, trying to connect with the scared boy beyond the animal.

It had only been a week since he had confronted (Y/N) regarding Embry. He had taken her by surprise, wondering why his best friend had suddenly started to avoid him and Quil, and had started hanging out with Sam’s group. She had done what she could, but the boy was too angry to stand reason.

He had rapped harshly against her front door, his knuckles beating against the wood loudly. She had been studying, far too focused on her books to know who it could have been at that hour. It was late at night and her mother had left only two hours before to work. And there was no chance that it had been Paul or Embry since they were out on patrol that night.

She sauntered down the stairs, fear clutching at her limbs as she walked. There was no reason for anyone to be knocking on her door that loudly. It made her tremble, but she was smarter than to allow fear to overtake her.

“Jacob?” (Y/N) had called out in surprise as she swung open the door. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“Look, (Y/N), I have nothing against you ‘cause you have always been a good friend to me,” he sighed. His eyes were red, telling her that he had been crying. “But I need to know what your brother is doing. It was weird when he took Jared, even weirder when Paul joined. Now, he’s changed Embry as well.”

“W-what do you mean he changed Embry, Jake? He was there at your birthday party last month.”

“But he wasn’t really there, was he?” Jacob continued. “He’s been avoiding Quil and me in school. He comes up with excuses or doesn’t even respond when we call to hang out. And he barely said a word to me other than ‘happy birthday’ at the party. And now, we see him hanging out with your brother and his weird gang.”

“It is not my place to talk about what happens with Embry, Jake; what happens with any of them for that matter,” she tried to explain calmly. “All I can tell you is that he definitely is not in a dangerous gang like it’s rumored. My brother is not a dangerous person.”

“Then, why can’t Embry talk to us, huh? Why is he clearly under instructions to not talk to his friends or even to his mom?” Jacob exclaimed. “She’s been asking us nonstop what’s happening with her son, and we have nothing we can say.”

“Jacob, I understand how frustrating this must be. But I can’t say anything. It’s really not my place.”

“So, what? You’re just gonna let your brother keep taking guys from the rez and making them turn their backs on everyone they know?” he said, his voice rising slightly. “It’s not right, (Y/N), and you know it.”

“I wish I could tell you what is going on, Jake, but…”

“But it’s not your place to tell. Yeah. I got that,” he scoffed. “If there are any more guys that are taken from their families because of your brother, it’ll be on you, (Y/N).”

“No one has been taken from their families, Jacob,” she replied defensively, biting down on her tongue to not anger the boy further. “They’re always free to come and go.”

“Yet they’re not free to talk,” he seethed. “I can’t believe you don’t see what they’re doing, (Y/N). You’re smart enough to know that something’s not right.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, Jake,” she sighed. “But I can promise you that your friend is safe.”

“It doesn’t matter much to me that he’s that safe when he can’t even say hi to me in the halls.”

“Jacob…”

“No, it’s fine, (Y/N). It’s not your place.”

He had left her house completely infuriated. So angry that he wouldn’t even return her waves when they ran into each other in town. And she understood his anger. Someone had come between him and his best friend. They had ripped away a relationship without a single reason.

But now, he would understand the why. Now, he would be in on the secret.

(Y/N) reached her hand out, showing Jacob that she meant no harm. Her movements were slow and calculated, always in sight of the brown wolf. She was letting him know he was okay, that he was safe.

“I know you’re scared, Jacob,” she spoke softly and calmly. “I bet you’re stressed too. Nothing that is happening is making sense.”

Jacob let out a huff in response, his eyes searching her over.

“I promise we will let you know everything that’s happening,” she continued. “But the first thing we have to do is get you back in human form. And I’m gonna help you with that, okay?”

The wolf’s head nodded, his pacing stopping dead in his track. He walked toward her outstretched hand, his snout bumping against it. He nuzzled into her, his pained eyes begging her to keep talking.

“You need to calm down,” she told him. “Center your mind and think how it feels to be in your human form. You have to focus and keep calm.”

It seemed her voice was what he needed to do the trick. The wolf stepped back and closed his eyes. She was almost sure she could feel the air changing around them as Jacob focused. And then, it all happened swiftly. One second, the russet-colored wolf towered over them. And the second, Jacob was covering up his naked body with his hands.

“Uh, is there a chance any of you brought a change of clothes?”

“Here,” Sam said as he threw the boy a bag of clothes. “There are many things you’re gonna have to learn now.”

Jacob disappeared behind a tree to get changed, running to shield himself from the others. (Y/N) had no idea what it was like for the body to go through that shift. But she could begin to imagine how disconcerting it would be to have your body turn into a massive wolf after an angry outburst.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Paul said as they waited outside of Sam’s house as Jake was informed of everything. “We should have you over every time a new kid shifts. You’re good at calming them down.”

“I guess I can understand how it feels to not feel in control of your own body,” she sighed with a smile. “But I’m glad I could help with Jake. Just last week he was grilling me over what you guys were doing.”

“we’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Not in the eyes of the town, Paul. People think that you’re a dangerous gang that is corrupting the boys in the reservation.”

“Eh, I’m used to it,” he shrugged. “Not many people thought I was a good guy before. I doubt I could change their minds now. And, honestly, I don’t care what people think of me. Just you.”

“Well, then, you’re lucky I like you, kid,” she laughed. “You would be very sad if I didn’t.”

“I really would,” he said, making her laughter die in her throat. He was too serious. Too serious for the playful tone she had spoken with. “I couldn’t live without you.”

“Paul, what’re you…?”

“I’m serious, (Y/N),” he continued as he took her hands in his. “You’re the most important person in my life, (Y/N). I would die without you.”

“You’re important to me too, Paul,” she smiled softly. “But where is all this coming from?”

“I just… gods, I just need to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

As Paul opened his mouth to speak, the door to the back slid open, Jared and Embry tumbling out. They wore playful smiles on their faces and were holding plates of food in their hands.

“Yo, (Y/N),” Jared called. “Jake’s asking for you.”

“We’re sort of in the middle of something here,” Paul muttered through gritted teeth. “He can wait.”

“We’ll talk later, Paul,” she smiled as she put distance between them, her heart beating a million miles a minute. “I’m gonna go see what he needs.”

“But (Y/N)…”

“Later,” she called from the door.

(Y/N) had an inkling of what Paul was going to say. She could feel it deep in her bones. The past three months had been perfect –too perfect, she guessed. The last thing she wanted was to break things off with Paul, to put distance between them. But she knew that it was what would be best for them both.

As she walked into the house, she allowed herself to push down the thought. To forget that sooner rather than later, she had to push him away. To forget that the start of her poorly mended new life crumbling was nearing. Nothing good lasts. That much she knew.

Jacob was waiting for her at the dining table, a look of shame plastered across his face. He was shaking slightly, the weight of the new information heavy on his shoulders. And she could see what he truly was. A boy that had his whole life ripped from under him.

“Hey,” she called out softly. “Jared said you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, his head snapping toward her voice. “I owe you an apology, (Y/N).”

“No, Jake. You were angry. I understand.”

“But you didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of the anger,” he continued. “You were protecting Embry, protecting all of them. And I was pretty mean to you.”

“You don’t even make the top five, Jake,” (Y/N) laughed as she sat beside him. “But, if it makes you feel better, I accept your apology. Even if there’s nothing to apologize.”

Jacob remained quiet for a second, his gaze falling onto his hands. “Your brother said I can’t see Bella,” he peeped. “I know it’s to keep her safe, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. I can’t just abandon her right now.”

“I understand that, Jake. But this is only for the time being,” (Y/N) tried to help. “You need to learn to control the phase. If something makes you snap when you’re with her…”

“I know. Sam told me… all of it,” he sighed. “What if I imprinted on her? She’d be allowed to know everything then, right?”

“You can’t force yourself to imprint on someone, Jake. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Not that we know of,” he smiled, hopeful. “I’m gonna try and I’ll be the first.”

“Jake,” she called as the boy jogged to the front door. “Jake!”

“Thanks for the talk, (Y/N)!”

And the next second, he was gone.

“Maybe delusion runs with the shifting gene,” she said to herself.

(Y/N) used the moment to leave Sam’s house, though. She needed to escape that conversation that Paul was sure to want. Things were changing once more and she was not ready for it. The last thing she wanted was to lose her grasp on the reality she had forged for herself. She had crafted it to the most minuscule detail and she couldn’t let him ruin it.

She ran to her home, locking herself in her room. She could feel panic building inside her. As the reins she held on her façade slipped, she could only feel the dread that was underneath. The (Y/N) from six months before was trying to claw her way out. To make her feel the same pain and sadness, making the hole in her chest grow.

But she couldn’t let it. She couldn’t let any of it out. She had to keep every last ounce of those emotions buried deep inside, locked away with the memory of him. It was the only way she would survive. The only way all of that heartbreak would have been worth it.

Instead of spending the night studying as she had planned, (Y/N) crashed on her bed, succumbing to a tiredness she didn’t know she had. She had only planned to rest her eyes for a second, not to completely fall asleep.

She was walking down a path she had come to hate, but one she still knew like the back of her hand. The road to perdition, she had branded it in her mind. She could see the bridge as she walked, begging her limbs to not keep moving. She never wanted to be back there, much less when he wasn’t there.

But the closer she got, she could make out that there was a figure standing there. A figure she had done so much to forget about, even if she never wanted to. Not really.

“(Y/N),” he breathed as she stopped in front of him. “God, how I’ve longed to see your face again.”

“Carlisle,” she said, her voice breaking as tears burned in the back of her eyes. She couldn’t walk to him. Too scared that he would disappear if she did. “Where have you been?”

“Being a coward, I guess,” he replied. “I have missed you, my love. So much more than I could ever tell you.”

“Then, show me,” she commanded in a whisper. “Show me how much you truly have.”

Carlisle extended his hand and she gladly took it, sighing happily as the coldness enveloped her. He pulled her over the treaty line, making her body crash into his. He placed one hand on the low of her back as the other cradled her cheek. His amber eyes looked intently into hers, the warmest smile he could muster spread across his lips.

“Kiss me,” she whispered and Carlisle obliged.

He pressed his lips softly to hers, love slipping past his mouth. It was just as she had remembered it. Just as cold, just s perfect. It was what she had been missing for months. A true connection of love and passion. Her hands traveled up his chest, feeling. He felt so real.

“I miss you, Carlisle,” she cried as they parted, his thumb wiping away the tears that fell. “Why won’t you come back?”

“I’m right here, my love.”

“No, you’re not,” she sighed defeatedly. “This is only a dream. I know it is. Because you’re not actually here.”

“But I am, (Y/N),” he smiled. “You can feel me. You can see me. You can hear me. Who’s to say that I’m not.”

“No, Carlisle,” she said sadly, taking a step back. “If you were here, I wouldn’t be able to wake up.”

She stood on the railing of the bridge, making sure she was past the treaty line. She looked down, the river angry and rushing, rocks piled up everywhere.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)? Get down from there.”

“I can’t do this, Carlisle,” she sobbed. “Not even in my dreams. Because when I wake, you won’t be there, and I’ll be right back where I started.”

Without another thought, she let herself fall, and she waited for the crash.

But it never came. She woke up in a sweat a second later, clutching at her racing heart. The beginning of the end, she thought. She could feel herself crumbling, and it scared her. 

Next ->

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@unicornicopia1 @the-house-of-rose-and-ember

[blasphemous-lies-and-deceit]

Flufftober Day 14. Fantasy AU/Mundane AU

It wasn't often that Michael really, truly hated his job. 

The day to day was both aggravating but engaging, doing whatever research and follow up Gertrude assigned to him, and trying his best to organize the Archives when he didn't have an assignment to work on. Despite not working for the Institute, Gerry was there with him most days, helping with the harder jobs and keeping him company. Michael absolutely didn't mind that‒ Gerry was a delight to be around, and made it far less lonely to be in the expansive empty Archives. That part of his job, he didn't hate.

But every so often Gertrude gave Gerry a task that he couldn't refuse, sending him away for days or weeks after information or an artifact that was far too dangerous to obtain using the usual methods. And Michael had to kiss his beloved goodbye and hope against hope that he would come back to him again.

"Oh, thank god," Michael breathed when his bedroom door opened and revealed Gerry standing there, looking so exhausted he could barely stand. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Here‒" he got up on his knees on the bed, arms open and reaching for him. Gerry collapsed right into them, his abrupt weight sending them both sprawling back on the bed. Michael wrapped his arms and legs around Gerry, holding tight as Gerry did the same, holding him so close he could feel how badly he was trembling. "Oh, Gerry. What happened?"

"I don't‒" Gerry cut himself off with a harsh noise, burying his face in Michael's neck. "I don't want to talk about it." He sounded near tears, and Michael felt his throat tighten in sympathy and worry. "Can we pretend the Entities and shit don't exist for a minute? Please?"

"Of course." Michael rolled them so they were on their sides, keeping Gerry close in the circle of his limbs as he grabbed at one of his blankets, tucking it in tight around them. "You just got back from some long boring business trip, and now you're back here with me."

Gerry made another noise, soft and disbelieving. "I'm a businessman?" he asked, sounding amused beneath his exhaustion.

"It's the most boring job imaginable," Michael continued, ducking a hand beneath Gerry's clothes and rubbing up and down his back. "The most exciting thing that happened on your trip was that the bartender at the hotel bar tried flirting with you, and you had to ask her to stop because you were married."

"Oh my god," Gerry whimpered, pressing his face harder into his neck. "We're married. Changed my mind, I fucking love this life."

"And then you came home to your loving husband," Michael told him, heart burning from Gerry's affirmation. "Who is so excited and happy to see you, because I missed you so much. And I'll tell you about my day working at the library, and the kids I read picture books to, and the old ladies I helped find mystery novels to read. We swap stories over dinner and go to bed early, just to make up for the time we were apart. I'll hold you close, just like this‒" Michael gave Gerry a demonstrative hug, pressing a kiss to the side of his head "-and neither of us will have nightmares."

"Fuck," Gerry sighed, shifting even closer and tilting his head up to kiss the underside of Michael's jaw. "I want that so much, Michael, I want us to have that someday. Please tell me we can have that, please."

"We will," Michael promised, ducking his head to seal it with a kiss. "Someday we'll be out of the Archives, and it won't follow after us, and we can live out our lives together without any other supernatural shit. We're gonna be so damn boring we won't know what to do with ourselves."

"I'll never be bored with you," Gerry swore, eyes still glittering and wet, but so full of love that Michael's heart ached with it. "Our lives might be boring, but with you I'll always be happy. So happy. I‒" he cut off with a hard swallow, tears spilling over, and Michael tucked him back against his chest, a few tears of his own slipping down his cheeks into Gerry's dark hair. That life he'd imagined them having seemed so far away at the moment, but one day, someday, they would be living it. 

[curekibouka-writing]

They Live in You (Twst fanfic)

**mild SPOILERS for Book 7 chapter 4**

Summary: Perhaps for the first time in his life, Malleus tried to look harder at himself. He never noticed how, even if he was still young, one could see without a doubt, he was Malleus Draconia, and he was their child. 

Word count: 1275

Warning: Referenced character death. Mentions of war.

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A/N: This is for the event “Anthems of Old” from @briarvalleyarchives​. This piece is inspired by the song "They Live in You" from the Lion King musical. This might or might not be fic number one to a series depending on whether I can finish the other two before the deadline XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The door to the music room was swung open with an energetic bam. The young prince glanced up from the cello he was playing, a small smile warming the golden shimmer of his tired eyes. 

“Lilia—“

“Malleus~ It’s been months! Did you miss me, my boy?” Lilia was still in his full armour with his iconic mask, but even so his bright grin was heard, and he asked with a vitality one would think is impossible for a soldier who had so recently returned from battle. 

“I’m no child, Lilia.” 

“Awww but you did, didn’t you?” Lilia opened his arms, awaiting an embrace. 

Malleus put down the cello bow but shook his head slowly. A gesture that Lilia understood. The older fae’s hands dropped to the side of his body, his armour clanging in the process. 

“It’s good to see you return safely, Lilia.” 

Lilia nodded and bowed slightly, before taking off his mask, choosing not to kneel in front of Malleus like talking to a child, but to keep standing straight instead. 

“Malleus, I’m sorry we lost the northern woods.” 

Malleus’s lips twitched. Flames flashed in his eyes. He had watched from the castle balcony, when the borderlands were burnt down by crimson, pungent fire of war. It was far, far out of his reach, but he had heard it. He had heard the earth crack, the trees fall, the sky shrouded, the soldiers scream, summoning wind and water to push back the flames. But what’s gone is gone. The land had cried, and so had he, another piece scorched black on his father’s and mother’s beautiful land. 

“I saw it happen,” the prince closed his eyes, “And all I did was watch.”

And though there were plenty of words Lilia could think of that were true and just and would tell the child he did no wrong, there was none that the child truly needed, none that the child would believe. 

“You know what the northern woods used to be, don’t you, Lilia?” 

Of course he did. He had been there before, accompanying the prince.

The then prince. 

“Father used to go there. He used to negotiate with the inhabitants about conservation measures due to high magic density in the area and the rich magical resources that could be obtained there,” Malleus said, and then added, “I read that in books.” 

He stood up, his height allowing to look at Lilia right in the eyes, “It was one of the last things my father left undone, before he was gone, wasn’t it, Lilia?” He put down the cello by his chair, “I thought I could take over it one day. The woods still had great potential, the woods still had father’s footsteps, I wanted to follow him one day. Like this cello, I wanted to be able to play it without feeling it’s too big for me one day.” 

His shoulders scrunched up even though he tried to hide it, “And it’s gone now. They’re gone, again.” 

And Lilia wished he had Mallenoa’s strong embrace that could enfold every inch of you, he wished he had Levan’s gentle touch that could seep right into your heart, and he knew he was wearing his cold, hard armour but still he offered the best he could to their child. 

“They’re not gone,” he pulled the child close with his left hand and rested his right hand on the child’s head. 

Because he understood why this mattered so much to Malleus. He had been there when the woods burnt down. He had felt a fire inside him hotter than whatever the humans had conjured because he had seen the silhouettes of his prince and his princess in those woods as they were warped by the heat of the flames and twisted into nothingness. Because it wasn’t enough killing them once, the war had killed them twice. 

But Lilia could gaze up and come back because there was hope here. Because they were here. 

“They live in you, Malleus.” 

The child said nothing, and only pushed himself further into Lilia’s embrace.  

“When you walk, I see him beside you. Every day I find his silhouette in your steps.” 

Lilia let go of Malleus, shifting his right hand to the child’s cheek, “And when you smile, I see her in you.” The excitement in the way their eyes shimmered, the innocence in the way their lips curled, to Lilia, it was like she barely left.

Malleus scoffed under his breath, “You’re lying. Father was so much taller, mother was so regal. How could you see them in me?” 

“How could I not, my boy?” Lilia laughed, creating a mirror-like surface with magic, “Look at yourself.” 

“……” Malleus wiped his eyes and looked, “…it’s just me.” 

“Look harder,” Lilia whispered, brushing up Malleus’s bangs that were covering his scales, “They’re right here.” 

And perhaps for the first time in his life, Malleus tried to look harder at himself. He never noticed how the curve of his horns or the shimmer of his scales or the colours of his eyes resembled his mother’s. He never noticed how the shape of his face or his wide shoulders or his long legs resembled his father’s. Even if he was still young, one could see without a doubt, he was Malleus Draconia, and he was their child. 

“See?” Lilia put his hands on Malleus’s tensed shoulders, “They live in your reflection.” 

Malleus pursed his lips, shifting away from Lilia’s hands, “What good does it do? Could I be even half the ruler they were? Could I give all of myself to protect my land and my people like they did?” 

Lilia’s smile faded. There were memories that were never written in any history books that he held within his head. What was pride for the kingdom was nightmares for him, what was a loss for the kingdom was a sword stabbing through his heart for the centuries to come until he finally finally joins them. He could not bear another loss, he could not let their son do that. 

Lilia dispelled the magical mirror and flung open the curtains covering the music room’s glass walls. They gazed outside at the summer sun showering bright glimmers over the land that was healing, the land that was quiet and still and peaceful now. 

“You are still young,” Lilia said to Malleus, but his eyes never left the scenery outside, “And you are already such a fine prince. I know you think that they live in these lands, in every creature and in every star. I know you love this kingdom that they gave every fibre of their magic to protect. I know you want to protect all that they’ve left behind for you.

“But you are not alone, my dear. Every soul that their spirits had touched are one with you in our love for this land,” Lilia took Malleus’s hand in both of his, “Be patient, my prince. There is no mountain too great. There is no limit to your power. May the night bless you.” 

Malleus squeezed Lilia’s hands tightly, thinking, breathing, trying to believe that Lilia was right. And he thought about how Lilia had been there when his parents were alive, how Lilia had been their friends, how Lilia had known them and seen them and touched them. He glanced at Lilia kneeling to talk to him, to meet his downcast eyes, and he briefly wondered if this was what his father’s hands would’ve felt like too. 

“Thank you, Lilia,” the child smiled in the way Lilia remembered of her, “They live in you as much as they live in me.” 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

What was preventing Azul from taking the MC dorm before the MC arrived in this world?(sorry if they did say and I missed it)

I don’t believe it was ever explicitly said why Azul didn’t try to take Ramshackle prior to Yuu and Grim moving in. However, I think we can draw a very reasonable guess as to why he didn’t.

Firstly, Azul’s not the type to use force, especially not as a first resort. He won’t just stroll up to the headmaster to put the squeeze on him to give him all the land and resources he wants. Even if Azul wants something badly, uses less than savory means to obtain his desires, and/or tried to sabotage a deal to go in his favor, he doesn’t give outright unreasonable demands or conditions. He’s not stupid; there’s not way anyone would agree to listen to him or consider his offer if he’s so openly aggressive right off the bat. Keep in mind that at this point, Azul also likely did not have anything to leverage over Crowley, so the headmaster has no reason to do what he demands. It took that first year for Azul to strike up deals and to get students under his thumb, which he would then use to pressure Crowley into granting him permissions for the Mostro Lounge. This takes time and effort to pull off, and Azul’s in it to play the long game.

Speaking of time and effort, I’d wager that’s why Azul never seemed to actively pursue the acquisition of Ramshackle dorm until later. The main story seems to begin with Azul in his second year—and it is during the second year when his ambitions reach their peak in the events of book 3. Before this, Azul was most likely concerned with building his own reputation at NRC (as a freshman), as well as building his business. Most of his efforts were likely going toward making his first and main branch a success. After all, he needs to have a proven track record and, more importantly, the influence (dorm leader seat, Crowley’s backing, etc) and the base capitol (money) to expand to a new location. It’s bad business to expand willy-nilly just because he can.

Also consider that since Azul is the dorm leader of Octavinelle, he just has easier access and control of his own territory rather than making things harder for himself by encroaching on the territory of others (which includes general campus land and buildings, as well as the pocket dimensions of the other sorms). It would look bad on his part, especially seeing as he is a relatively new person in power suddenly picking fights with his seniors and staff; it doesn’t help Azul come off as “likeable”, which is something he tries very hard to be. Reputation is very important to him!! It just so happens to be very inconvenient timing that the land Azul had been after for a second Mostro Lounge is suddenly someone else’s living space 😂 It’s probably safer for Azul to swipe the land of a magicless student that lives in an “unofficial” dorm than to jump through extra administrative and blackmailing efforts to pressure Crowley to make another deal with him (+ potentially fight with other dorm leaders).

On a more meta level, I don’t actually think making a second Mostro Lounge at Ramshackle makes a lot of sense?? If you look at a map of NRC, Ramshackle is located off in a relatively isolated location on campus (which is further exemplified by Malleus explicitly choosing to visit the area on his walks, because he says it is nice and quiet there); I don’t think you’d realistically get a ton of foot traffic at Ramshackle, especially when a cafeteria exists inside of the main school building. To me, Azul wanting Ramshackle for his second location seems more like a plot contrivance to up the stakes for the player if Yuu doesn’t end up fulfilling their end of the bargain.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb:

A grown up Little Red Riding Hood meets werewolves and witches in a stand alone, adult fantasy romance. To enter the woods as a human means death… But I am no mere human. They call me, “witch." As one of the last surviving witches, Faelyn’s sole duty is to keep the protective barriers on the forests where the lykin roam—creatures who can shed flesh for fur—sparing nearby humans from their violent, beastly natures. When she has an unlikely encounter with the rare, primordial spirit of the moon, Faelyn finds herself not only the object of the Wolf King’s desire, but essential to his ability to keep his crown. Taken to the magical land of Midscape, the Wolf King claims her as his bride to control the moon spirit’s magic that now resides within Faelyn. But Faelyn refuses to resign herself and the spirit Aurora to a life of servitude underneath the king’s cruel rule. Faelyn hatches a dangerous plan for them both to escape and help comes from an unlikely ally. Evander is the king’s blisteringly handsome, loyal knight, right hand, and Faelyn’s sworn protector��on the outside. But appearances are not what they seem. He plots against the king’s brutality at every turn and helping Faelyn escape will serve these ends. But altruism for Faelyn and the trapped moon spirit isn’t his only motivation… Evander is hiding secrets, and they might change Faelyn’s life forever. A desperate plot to escape. A brutal king. Ancient powers. And a sworn protector who can’t keep his hands off her… Will she be taken as the Wolf King’s bride? Or will she manage an escape that will free her heart and change her fate forever? A Dawn with the Wolf Knight is a complete, *stand alone novel*. For readers who love romantasy novels with second-chance/long-lost love, life-changing female friendships, deep lore, forbidden romance, slow-burn, and a happily ever after.About the Married to Magic Novels: Each Married to Magic novel is a stand alone, fantasy romance about a young woman being taken to the world of Midscape and falling in love with a magical man. These novels can be read in any order and have no overarching plot or characters.

Review:

A witch who wants to do what is right finds herself stuck in a complicated mess while trying to save the moon spirit... while dealing with a Wolf King who is determined to control her and take her for his new bride yet her forbidden attraction to the noble knight who is meant to guard her is getting harder to resist. Faelyn is one of the last weaver witches and after the last of her family passes awat she spends her days after collecting herbs and spending time with the spirits that reside in her home. Yet when she saves a strange girl in the woods who turns out to be a moon spirit running away from an evil wolf king hellbent on enslaving her, Faelyn feels duty bound to save her.... only the king has sent his knights to capture her and now Faelyn has been captured as well since the moon spirit has given her half her power. Evander is the noble and “loyal” knight of the wolf king, bound to him and his sole duty is to protect the moon spirit. Evander might seem loyal but his loyalties lie somewhere else and his motives are hard to tell yet one thing is certain, he hates the wolf king. The wolf king is determined to obtain the moon spirits power and if forcing Faelyn to marry him and control her then he'll do it whether she wants it or not.

Trust is earned, power is fought for, and a romance that even the fates can't break. A fantastic story with touches of Little Red Riding Hood and a bit of Howls Moving Castle. I absolutely adored this addition to the series. Faelyn and Evander’s romance was so well done and the way they were fated to be together and kept coming back for one another was just so well written. I also loved the magic and the friendships in this book so much. Faelyn is such a sweet character and Evander was the perfect love interest for her. If you love forbidden knight romances and fated romances, this is for YOU. I've been such a huge fan of this series and I can't wait for more from this world!

Release Date: August 1,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Elise Kova for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

Yes, you're alive again. Your letters were very dull indeed. But I understood that they were, and that this long absence after such harsh trials extinguishes your energy a little: I was waiting for life to flow back, to be brand new and brilliant, full of flame.  And then it will disappear again. I'm like you in that respect. That's why I can't meditate when I feel you shrinking.

I have decided once and for all that we are united forever. So these are all light shadows. They pass, and there remains the soil of our love. But of course my heart is lighter when I read your joy or your tenderness, and it seems to me that personally I have fewer ups and downs. It just gets harder, that's all. But it has to be to survive and also to finally get over the illness. I am patiently trying to regain control of myself, to regain the self-control that I had lost. For more than a year, everything that happened to me, except you, happened to me without my consent. I was dragged along by events, moods, the work itself, and finally the illness. And in order to accomplish what I still have before me, to be, quite simply, I need a continuous strength, a superiority over myself. Then I get up, slowly, I rebuild my will and my body. I'm not sure I'll succeed, but I have to, failure would be terrible.

That's why I can answer you when you ask me if I feel rich and generous. I don't feel either, I'm too focused on doing well, on getting back in the game, to feel truly overwhelmed. But at least I'm gaining ground. I have always lived madly and it is enough for me to obtain from myself, for a period of time, a discipline so that recovery seems miraculous. Yes, I apply myself, I eat with application, I sleep with application, if I dare say so, and I calculate my efforts. But the truth is that, deep in my heart, I am sad to die from all those days lost for love, from your absence, from my pain in living my present life. Yes, I have to, that's all I know. Yes, we have to.

How to love, how to create, if I am below myself! The person I was during this year disgusts me. And I must have the strength to live for us and for what I have to do. I am sending you those nuptials* that you asked me for. I have reread, here and there, some of the passages. What easy disdain! But at least I was alive then. It is this flame that I must find again, added to what I know now, and it seems to me that then you will be able to love me; you see, if we have enough courage for that, there are still long and great joys awaiting us. I live for them and for you, my tender, my darling, my beautiful face. I kiss you, I fill your eyes with kisses, I close your mouth. Courage, my dear love, courage for us and for the one who cherishes you from afar, but with all his heart.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, February 2, 1950 [#164]

* Albert Camus, Noces, Alger, Charlot, May 1939. It is the second book of Albert Camus.

[cat-n-rabbit]

Lord Kzinssie is so mysterious...

[[ This short story idea was living rent free in my head since I considered picking Bokhohn on the side/or here :D;; ]] [[ Might be a fun read @soulxsteal ! ]]

---

There were many mysteries surrounding Rabbit's favorite hero and she had oh, so many questions. Unfortunately she was way too shy to ask him directly but fortunately for her there was another hero in the Vangaurd who she deemed perfect for that.

"Good...evening, Lord Bokhohn!" Rabbit greeted, holding a big bottle of wine in front of her face and strategically hiding a very apologetic smile. By now she knew this one hero in particular would rather have his drink and didn't want to bother with anyone, ever.

Bokhohn didn't even look up from his book. He didn't need to. The library in the Vanguard was peaceful and he was seldom bothered. Usually simply not replying to anyone was enough. There were occasional 'heroes' who would come to ask him to join on their silly adventures or missions - both things he didn't care about. This world he was pulled into was unnatural and he didn't plan to get involved in it. Instead he wanted to obtain as much useful information as he could, rejoin Wagnas and the rest and hopefully find his way to the ancients.

"I'm weak, leave me alone." Bokhohn turned a page and hoped this reply would be enough to protect his peace and quiet. It was not.

"I ah, I came to ask you about... Lord Kzinssie." Rabbit continued then carefully nudged the wine bottle on the table in hopes her offering would be enough to please the ever grumpy strategist.

'Lord... Kzinssie!?' Bokhohn's eyes paused and no amount of information in this book would pin his attention now. He finally looked up - first at Rabbit. 'Oh, great... one of The Emperor's goons.' he squint his eyes. 'But not the blonde...Ugh, never mind they all look the same anyway.' Then his eyes moved to the wine bottle. Obviously a bribery, and a bribery he was willing to take.

"He made it here too then? Very well..." Bokhohn closed his book and reached a clawed hand towards the bottle while his eyes remained pinned on Rabbit like a hawk who just locked on a prey. Suddenly the girl felt very uneasy. At the back of her head she reminded herself - she could outrun him. Running away was always the first option! "What do you want to know about ...Lord Kzinssie?"

"W-well... ah... anything really!" Rabbit rubbed her hands. A nervous jitters that was immediately caught by the strategist. She hurried to sit, shuffle her hands on her lap and out of sight, as if that would make her harder to read.

Bokhohn poured a glass, took the scent form the wine and began with a very indifferent tone. "Lord Kzinssie turns into a worm on full moon nights." The wine was good and now after a good sip, the strategist was very willing to humor the girl. Surely she won't buy all the'd say...

"Really? Like... a teeny-tiny worm?" Rabbit's eyes widened. When was the next full moon? Would he be alright? Maybe she had to find a little match box to make into a tiny bed for him so he will stay safe.

Bokhohn's face turned long...........She actually believed that? Young ones were stupid, impulsive and unreasonable. And when crushing all this was amplified. This one would not survive the winter... Not that this was his problem. Bokhohn sipped and continued. "His sword is made from his spine. That's why he lacks any."

"F-from his spine!?" Rabbit gasped! No wonder he was in a hurry to find it. "Lord Kzinssie's muscles must be so strong to keeping him going." She mused aloud. Bokhohn sipped again thinking how to top that - which absurdity would make this girl realize he is fooling her around.

"He went to the sea with Subier once, got lost and had to eat jellyfish for days because that was all he could catch."

"Aren't...they poisonous?" She knew this much and now Bokhohn was ready to flash a grin - yes, she finally is starting to question the absurdity of his statements, "Lord Kzinssie must be really strong to eat so much jellyfish and survive...!"

Bokhohn's grin very quickly turned into a disgruntled expression followed by a muffed groan. This girl can't possibly be this stupid! Suddenly the wine that was meant to bribe him was helping him preserve his own brain cells.

"One time Dantarg stepped on him and he was stuck under his foot for a week."

"Huh..." Rabbit pondered on this one. She knew Dantarg was huge even if she has never seen him before but hearing this gave her an idea just how big this hero in particular could be "Lord Kzinssie must be... really soft and squishy if Lord Dantarg didn't notice him for a whole week."

Rabbit's eyes darted up taken by the idea. Just how soft must Lord Kzinssie be? Would he mind if she squishes his cheeks? They did look very squishable! No, no...that'd be way too bold and rude! Bokhohn was rubbing his face across the table. Was this girl playing him now or she really was that naive?

"Ah, thank you, Lord Bokhohn... I think I learned a lot about Lord Kzinssie from you!" The brunette perked up and lift herself form the chair, "I hope you'll enjoy the wine!"

"Right. And you... enjoy your Lord Kzinssie." He waved a hand dismissively hoping she will remove herself from the room before he resolved to removing her with her own hands. At least the wine was good and it would wash the memory of this dumb human from his head.

"Lord Kzinssie is so mysterious...." Rabbit muttered as she began to exit the library.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Omg I just read your piece about Zoro trying to ask out the reader with help from robin but reader thinks Zoro likes robin and what if there was an alternate version where the reader actually liked robin after realizing things with Zoro would never happen. So when she sees the two spending hella time together she feels like crushed even harder cause now her ex-crush is making moves on her new crush but really Zoro had been talking robin through what it’s like to have feelings for reader and explaining how he thinks reader and Robin would be better suited together than he could’ve ever been.

You don’t have to write it and I know it’s so specific but lol I thought it would be a nice lil alternate version. Like the majority of the piece is reader wasting her time with men cause her last crush is putting the work on her lady crush 😌

Hello there! I’m happy you enjoyed my story. Thank you. So this was a little difficult. I usually don’t think about alternate versions of stories. Now I think I should. This was an amazing idea. I’m happy you requested this. Please enjoy! 🧡

Zoro the Matchmaker

Sometimes things that seem perfect on paper don’t work out in real life.  Were you and Zoro a great team? Yes.  He was your best friend. Were you two opposites? Yes. And that’s why it wouldn’t work.  You were too much of opposites.  You were in different places in your lives.  He had a huge goal and would do anything to obtain it.  You didn’t have this huge goal, you were just focused on finding happiness.  But, as time went on your crush on Zoro diminished.  And you slowly fell in love with another.  You fell in love with Nico Robin.  The two of you would be perfect together.  You worked well together, we’re different enough but also very similar.

One day, you realized something.  Zoro and Robin seemed to be spending a lot of time together.  You were so irritated.  Great, you thought, your former crush and your new crush are going to get together and you’re going to be all alone.  You started to be in so many moods.  One day you would be extremely annoyed, yelling at anyone who looked at you the wrong way.  While the next, you were crying into your pillow.  There was no in between.  

“You have got to stop moping around,” Nami told you.  She was so tired of this.  She could easily handle 3 emotional weirdos (Sanji, Usopp, and Brook), but you were testing her patience.

“Why? I’m going to die alone,” you said, floppy down on deck.  Out of nowhere, Zoro appeared.

“What’s wrong with Y/N?” he asked the annoyed navigator.

“She’s having emotional issues.  She likes Robin, but she thinks you and Robin are a thing and she’s getting worse than Luffy when we’re out of food.”

You got up, “really Nami? Telling Zoro all my secrets?”

“Yes!  Zoro, she’s your problem now.”  With that, Nami walked away.

Zoro stooped down so he was closer to where you were on the ground.  “You’re overthinking Y/N,” he said, “I’m helping Robin with her feelings for you.  She likes you, but she thinks you and I should go out.”

“Come again?” you asked perplexed.

Zoro chuckled a little, “I’ve been telling her that you two are perfect for each other, not us.  I’ve also been trying to help her with date ideas.  Although, she doesn’t think drinking all night is a great date.”

“Thanks Zoro,” you said.  You were smiling from ear to ear.  The light that had disappeared from your e/c orbs has come back.  You pat Zoro on the shoulder, as you get up and rush over to see Robin.

When you reach her, she is lying in the sun, reading a book.  “Hey Robin,” you interrupt her nervously, “I really like you.  You know, like a huge crush kind of like.  Do you want to go out with me?”

Robin looked up from her book and smiled, “I’d love that.  I feel the same way about you!”

The two of you went out together on your first date as a couple on the next island.  That date was the first of many.  Who knew that Zoro would be such a good matchmaker?

Please do not copy, modify, translate, or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

[snufflepup]

I'm glad you'll check it out! Though sorry, I'm like kinda just ranting on about my favorite media in these asks -_-' but I can't wait to see if you like it! I like knowing people like the things I recomend^^ I loved loved Mike and Mal, but since I saw season one back a bit ago, I was a total Duncan fan girl (now fanboy lol) >.< he's just so!!!! Yk? Though his character development over the seasons wasn't the best :< I remember I liked Gwen and zoe a lot, and scott was cool too from what i remember. I used to hate Alejandro, but tbh he warmed up to me in the last season he was in, I think. And there's the book of Bill that came out recently, teasing at stuff, though. idk if anyone knows what's going on with it lol. And I think I might be fine on watching that video, it takes a lot to make me cry (not to try and be insulting or anything). I think the last time I cried was when my gf broke up with me, but I mean before that Idk when I cried lol.

I remember when I was 5, I'd cry every night cause I thought the sun would explode and we'd all die lol. I think tears would look cute on you, a cute little puppy face all puffy and wet with tears, ahh! It just sounds the cutest!<3 but yeah, I had existential dread at that age too, wondering whats the point in living if no one will really actually care. Thats why i wanna become a famous youtuber one day! Then everyone would remember me, or that'd be the plan. Though the older i get, the less i feel like that dream is obtainable for me. All that youtube cares about is clickbait and dumb shit, and i cant see myself gaining an audience cause i mean i post on my tiktok weekly and i struggle to even get 100 views, so its kinda depressing the more i think about it. I used to be so hopeful and excited to be able to share myself online and make people happy, but it kinda just feels out of reach now. And given I used to be a gifted kid, I mean I could have actually done something with myself when I was younger, but as I got older I just couldn't apply myself as easily and gave up on thinking entirely. I actually can't think at all because of that and just hope I understand the concept on the first try like before or I'm fucked lol. I'm actually sad now kinda and realized I just kinda vented to you- sorry puppy :<

-ike<3

It's alright ! I don't mind at all !!

I remember liking him in the beginning, but not so much later on, I understand what you mean about his character development didn't go in the best direction !! I'm really excited for whatevers going on with it ! I feel like I can get really emotional very easily at times, I wouldn't say that I cry a lot but . I kind of do at the same time . I recently cried over a video of someone talking about how they lost one of their pets, and the other one missed them a lot and stuff . I probably cried harder than I should have . It was so sad (◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ) aaa ! I'm blushing . /pos

I think I had the same kind of thoughts, the memory is a little fuzzy now though, so I don't really remember exactly what they were. I'm sure if you keep at it, you can do it !! I think, from what I know at least, it's definitely harder than what it was at like the start of youtube and like you said it's all like . click bait and disengenuous and things like that, but I also see a lot of people talking about how they don't like it so I'm sure that means it's not hopeless ^–^ A lot of people also say you should do what makes you happy, and not to focus so much on views and stuff but idk ! I'm not one so take what I say with like a grain of salt !! Growing up is hard. . . I think it's okay to feel like things are harder now, because they are ! I don't think that means your not like, gifted or anymore, I think it just means things have changed . Sorry I don't think I made very much sense. . . I feel like I just said things, but I'm trying to say I think you are still important

I hope you feel better now ! I'm sorry this took so long, too