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You will certainly be canonized. With me. And both under the same halo. For eternity. My love, your arms! Your arms to snuggle in and fall asleep in tonight. Your arms around me. Good night, darling. I love you.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, March 6, 1950 [#234]

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everything is horrible but i am reading french lit

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The sky is still resplendent. And the air remains fresh. This makes a cold and brilliant light, a light for intelligence. I read, work and think, slowly, but well. And then your letter. I'm glad the performance went well at the Cité. The students are sometimes stupid and vulgar. But there is something in them that is intact, that can serve as a reference for a work. Yes, my dear heart, my love, I too was thinking and I am thinking about the little apartment in Rome. But there is nothing lost. And maybe it will be possible. 

I also understand that you can't turn to happiness if you feel that I'm not happy. But this is not true. It is true that I feel guilty sometimes. But my progress at the moment is to free myself from these sterile feelings, to escape from mutilation, to accept only "positive" feelings. I am trying to get back to what I was. And this sky, this climate helps me every day. I also know that you love me, that you will stay close to me, and that I will find in you all the joy I need. So don't worry. I am working in spite of everything. 

I won't finish my essay. But I will continue to work on it and when it is finished, I will have already found that inner freedom that I lack, the freedom of noon, the strength, the silent joy, the one that goes beyond happiness and unhappiness. So let all this mature. On the other hand, what I really need is to find you whole and as far as possible, offered to life. That's why you have to take care of yourself, relax, be beautiful, live generously, as you know how to do. If I have not worked as much as I hoped, I have worked deeper. And I have huge projects that are burning in my head, from works, a thought, the realization of a style of being. It is here that I need you, as one needs the sun and the earth, so as not to lose oneself. But it is necessary that you find yourself alive, valiant and beautiful. 

In three weeks I will be in Paris. That's what's important. I can't believe it, by imagination, I mean. But I know that I will be able to put my hand on you and this certainty makes me melt with happiness. And you, my beautiful, my brunette, my sweet, are you also trembling like I am? Come on, courage! The real spring is going to begin. Write, tell me about yourself. Love me, live for me, tell me too that you are mine. Ah! I want to possess everything of you, to demand everything... I love you. 

Don't be worried or sad. Forgive me if my letters have saddened you. You are my confidante, my friend too, and sometimes we let ourselves go. But the sun is coming back and all we want to do is close our friend's mouth and ears under a shower of kisses. Let them rain on you, my dearest love, my beloved, and surrender yourself to me. I love you.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, March 6, 1950 [#233]

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"How is it possible that beings like you disappear one day from this world? What would become of existence without your face, without your gaze, without your clairvoyante warmth, without your love."

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus ☆– Correspondance; October 24th 1956

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Forgive me if my letters have saddened you. You are my confidante, my friend too, and sometimes we let ourselves go. But the sun is coming back and all we want to do is close our friend's mouth and ears under a shower of kisses. Let them rain on you, my dearest love, my beloved, and surrender yourself to me. I love you.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, March 6, 1950 [#233]  

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Albert Camus, 1935-1951

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I have huge projects that are burning in my head, from works, a thought, the realization of a style of being. It is here that I need you, as one needs the sun and the earth, so as not to lose oneself. But it is necessary that you find yourself alive, valiant and beautiful.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, March 6, 1950 [#233]

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“ (…) Here’s a job, here’s a family, here’s some organised leisure.’ And the little teeth bite into the flesh, right down to the bone. But I’m being unfair. I shouldn’t have said, ‘the way they’re constituted’, because after all, it’s our way, too; it’s a case of who strips whom.”

- Albert Camus, from The Fall (via je-madore)

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I won't finish my essay. But I will continue to work on it and when it is finished, I will have already found that inner freedom that I lack, the freedom of noon, the strength, the silent joy, the one that goes beyond happiness and unhappiness.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, March 6, 1950 [#233]

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dad

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I also understand that you can't turn to happiness if you feel that I'm not happy. But this is not true. It is true that I feel guilty sometimes. But my progress at the moment is to free myself from these sterile feelings, to escape from mutilation, to accept only "positive" feelings. I am trying to get back to what I was. And this sky, this climate helps me every day. I also know that you love me, that you will stay close to me, and that I will find in you all the joy I need. So don't worry. I am working in spite of everything.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, March 6, 1950 [#233]

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Finishing up a reread of The Stranger by Camus. Last time I read it was about 10 years ago, in a different translation. Also continuing with Dracula (Second Norton Critical Edition), getting ready for an online class I’m taking in a few weeks. Using the snow day to brush up on existentialism and vampire studies.

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Today, after everything, the rehearsals, the extra performance from the city, the half-wakes, I feel tired, but my morale is better. For the first time, I felt spring when I came to the theater. I suddenly saw people sitting on the terrace of a café, in a ray of sunshine. The air was light, transparent, warm, the birds could be heard, and I thought: "But it's already the 5th of March!" - Oh, my love. The 5th of March! My darling, in twenty or twenty-five days! 

I can't believe it, so much it tears me apart with happiness. After your long absence, after all this horror I could not imagine happiness anymore. Today, in a flash, I have foreseen it - and it will be, won't it? We will have wonderful moments and you will love me as before. O my beautiful love, my darling, tell me that it will be. Tell me that you will warm my heart again! Tell me that you still love me so much and in a living way. I am waiting for you. I wait for you now with an expectation that no longer impoverishes me but enriches me day by day until your arrival soon. You are already here, I feel you. And you, you, you! How do you feel? How is everything? And the work? Write to me. I didn't get anything from you on Saturday. I love you.

Midnight And as usual, since the beginning of The Righteous, to whom are we going to confide, to complain; in front of whom are we going to protest? In front of Dora Shining! Poor Dora. She is very small and well folded tonight. She would like two big warm arms around her. She would like us to caress her, to pamper and convince her that this is not the ugly wax face of this afternoon she loves, but another, with a look, beautiful clear eyes, a straight nose, a forehead to touch, and lips to kiss, to kiss, to kiss until exhaustion. Good night. See you tomorrow, my love.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, March 5, 1950 [#232]  

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Here are some illustrations I found in some old newspapers of Albert Camus

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... a forehead to touch, and lips to kiss, to kiss, to kiss until exhaustion.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, March 5, 1950 [#232]

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disegno Vs fotografia [Albert Camus]

_______________________ [*] VS [*] ___________________________

https://it.pinterest.com/pin/68747965321/

http://reading-is-fun.tumblr.com/

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After your long absence, after all this horror I could not imagine happiness anymore. Today, in a flash, I have foreseen it - and it will be, won't it? We will have wonderful moments and you will love me as before. O my beautiful love, my darling, tell me that it will be. Tell me that you will warm my heart again! Tell me that you still love me so much and in a living way. I am waiting for you. I wait for you now with an expectation that no longer impoverishes me but enriches me day by day until your arrival soon. You are already here, I feel you.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, March 5, 1950 [#232]