#back to my thesis / translation hole now

[neoyorzapoteca]

(so be it! see to it!):

a writing soundtrack (also a cooking soundtrack, meditation, drawing, cozy evening conversation—has honestly been on perpetual rotation): over 24 hours of 99% instrumental tracks, heavy on the strings

(musically manifesting creative success with octavia butler)

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

LITA Special Novel Excerpt: Sky and Pai's Phone Sex

(Requested by Anon)

This takes place several years after the end of Love in the Air, when Pai is sent on a 2 month business trip and Sky stays behind in Thailand to work on his Master's thesis.

I have a machine translation, I edited it for clarity as best I could.

"It's been like this for days!"

Sky roared, because in this state he couldn't continue his work. So, the young man got up, taking long strides towards the bedroom while also taking off his pants. As soon as he arrived at the bed, his whole body wore only an old t-shirt. Sky did not hesitate to sit against the headboard, spread his legs, and put his hands on his crotch.

The young man closed his eyes, thinking of the big man who always drove him wild when he sucked Sky's cock.

He saw a sharp face stained with sweat, dark and sexy eyes, and lips that were parted to take his sensitive part. Pai is a person who has a passion for sucking Sky even when his throat is tense and his veins bulging. P'Pai always makes him shiver, teasing with a nudge at the tip of the pinhole to flick precum into his mouth, while he raises his head and looks at Sky with a provocative smile.

'Sky, do you like being teased by me?'

"Ugh, argh."

Just as he thought of his lover, the beautiful cock was even redder. Sky was so aroused that his legs were aching.

His breathing was noticeably heavier, and his face tilted up against the headboard.

"P'Pai, ugh, do it again."

Sky let out a groan, rubbing the head of his cock with his palm, feeeling the moisture seeping out.

His other hand lowered to grasp the soft lump on both sides, lightly squeezing it and drawing out more moans.

'I just licked your cock and your hole is already twitching, you naughty boy.'

He heard the rumble of the man who would have mocked him with those eyes fixed on Sky's twitching hole.

"P'Pai, I don't know if you are aware that lately I love it when you use your tongue to eat my hole."

Prapai likes to nudge and push his tongue all the way in, then roll it until Sky squirms along with his movement.

"P'Pai, eat my hole. I want you to eat my hole."

Now, the words alone aren't enough. Sky could feel an itching in his stomach and his hole convulsing.

He knew his body demanded to be touched. Prapai often penetrated all the way in, pulling almost entirely out before thrusting in again. Sky loved it when P'Pai glided his hips to find his sensitive spot. Loved how P'Pai would repeatedly rub him there until he almost broke, then relentlessly provoke Sky again.

"Not enough."

The more he imagined his lover, the harder Sky bit his lip as he looked at his own sticky hand. But just jerking his cock was not enough. He turned to open the drawer and grabbed the sweet-smelling lubricating gel.

P'Pai also liked this gel. He said that when he licked Sky's hole it smelled good.

"Again, you're thinking of P'Pai," Sky told himself as he squeezed the gel into his palm, rubbed it until it was warm, and turned to crawl on his knees so that he could play with his back side.

But then, as his finger was about to go in-

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The phone that was placed at the head of the bed rang.

Sky could have ignored it, but it was a ringtone he had specifically set for a special person.

"(huff)... (huff) P'Pai..."

Sky didn't care if the gel smudged on the screen because he quickly grabbed the phone and set it to speaker, wanting to hear the big man's voice like crazy. He wasn't embarrassed at all to let out a heavy gasp.

[Sky, what are you doing? Why does your voice sound like that?]

He missed him like crazy.

Slip!

"Uugh!"

As Pai's anxious voice filled his ears, Sky didn't hesitate to slip his long, wet finger into the cramped hole. It was only tight at first because he hadn't done anything to it in days. But once past the knuckle, he pushed it in to the full length, followed by a rumbling groan in his throat as he felt a flash of arousal.

[Sky, what are you doing?]

Prapai's voice was softer, but even more provocative.

Sky was turning red-faced. He imagined P'Pai sitting in his company office, listening to Sky moaning on the phone, afraid others would catch on what his boyfriend was doing. It made Sky push another finger into the hole in the back.

"I was... thinking about you... and (huff)... (huff) fingering myself."

[... ... ...]

P'Pai was silent, but crazy as it was, that only turned Sky on even more.

[Give me three minutes.]

"No, I can't take it anymore... ah..." Although the person at the end of the line let out a frighteningly low growl, Sky refused.

He leaned one hand against the bed, thrusting his hips against the fingers that were inserted into his body. As he moved his hand faster and faster, he gasped heavily and pictured Pai's grim face, jaw clenched with desire, and let out a loud moan.

"I want your cock so bad P'Pai. I want your big cock."

[Damn it!]

Prapai hung up the call, but Sky couldn't stop himself.

Sky threw his upper half onto the bed until his cheeks touched the sheets, resting his knees against the mattress and raising his butt as he managed to reach another inch further into his wet hole.

He felt a little full, but it wasn't close to the sweet, scorching sensation he felt when Pai moved inside of him. Sky was always stretched around him so tightly that he couldn't even think. But it wasn't painful, just a sign to Pai to move quickly so that his huge stick rubbed across Sky's insides until that initial stinging turned to pleasure.

"Ah, ah, P'Pai, I want more, I want more."

Swerp, swerp, swerp.

Sky moved his hand faster, pulled it out, and slammed in again. Why didn't it feel as good as whenever he begged to be fucked by P'Pai?

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The phone rang again until Sky's watery eyes turned to look. He found that his lover was not calling normally, but asking for a video call, which Sky did not even hesitate to answer.

[(huff) ... (huff) Sky, I told you to wait for me.]

The picture on the screen showed a man covered in sweat. The background was of a hotel bedroom. Just as the big hand was pulling apart the elegant tie at his throat, his dark eyebrows furrowed. Pai's eyes narrowed, and Sky could see his throat tighten until his veins bulged.

P'Pai was turned on too.

[Sky, did you know that I got out of the taxi and ran back to the hotel?!]

He didn't know, because his eyes were looking only at that dark, stern face.

"P'Pai.... ugh... I need you, my fingers can't reach... ah!"

He didn't want to talk about how his lover got back to the hotel, because at this moment his mood was all over the place.

He didn't know why at first, but when he saw Pai's sweaty face taking a step towards the phone, Sky imagined Pai was in the room with him. His body twitched. Sky's hips accidentally swayed.

[Where are you touching? Let me see.]

P'Pai tried to calm down. He sat on the foot of the bed, his sharp eyes staring back towards Sky's hole.

That imagining led Sky to squat over the phone screen, knees spread wide, so the camera could capture the cute part with his fingers disappearing inside.

He heard the sound of Pai groaning, followed by the unbuckling of his belt.

[I want to lick my wife's hole so bad.]

"Ugh... P'Pai..."

He felt a flash at his lover's words. Still squatting, Sky pushed his phone even further beneath his body so that Pai could see more clearly the cramped hole that devoured his fingers.

Sky closed his eyes. In his mind, he imagined the soft tongue that flicked around his crack. The sharp teeth biting the white cheeks, leaving a red mark; before the soft tongue pushed deep inside.

[Yes, just like that honey, please show me.]

Normally Sky would refuse, but instead he pried apart two fingers, opening a narrow channel for Pai to see inside his hole.

"Oh it's wide, it's so wide, P'Pai."

[Sky, you have to slowly pull out and smash in hard. Ah, honey, I really want to lick it.]

He did as Pai told him by pulling his fingers almost out, then slamming them in so hard that he could hear the sharp sound of flesh hitting flesh. A tingling sensation shot through his body, striking from head to toe. Sky's upper body once again pressed against the soft bed, revealing more of his naked body for his lover to see.

And this move made him glimpse on the screen, P'Pai himself was pulling out the big cock he wanted so badly.

"Yeah, I... want P'Pai to fuck my mouth, ah!"

He wanted to lick P'Pai, wanted to suck him so hard that the force surprised P'Pai. Wanted P'Pai to grab the back of his head, and push it in until his cock was deep in Sky's throat.

[Good boy Sky... Play with your nipples.]

The one who listened pushed his t-shirt up higher so that his lover could see his chest. He rubbed his gel-stained hands back and forth until his nipples were hard, then circled the base, alternating with gentle pinches.

[So good... ah... If I was there, I would fuck you to death!]

P'Pai stared at the screen hard, and Sky knew that his boyfriend wasn't lying.

The expression on P'Pai's face was that of someone who couldn't control themselves... Probably the same expression Sky wore too.

Fip, fip, fip!

"Yeah, fuck, so good... P'Pai, fuck me. Fuck me hard. I want you to fuck me."

Sky thrust against the bedsheet. One white hand slammed into his hole in the back in an embarrassing and lewd stroke while the other twisted and pinched his nipples. His hips swayed in the air, his mouth groaning his pleasure with all shyness gone.

[I'm fucking you baby (huff)...(huff) hit harder, just like when I fuck you Sky.... yes!]

He loved the sound of P'Pai panting. It was loud, raspy, and heartbreakingly sexy.

As he thought of Pai, the feeling of Pai's cock taking the place of his hand grew stronger. Sky's sensitive front part was soaked with precum and dripping onto the bed. From the corner of his eyes, Sky looked to the screen and saw his lover tugging at himself.

"Oh come on, P'Pai. Harder, ah! It tingles!"

[You want me to fuck you harder than this?]

"Fuck me, P'Pai... harder."

[Damn it, I want to cum in your mouth so bad...]

Sky moved to face the screen, his lips parted, his bright tongue sticking out to accept Pai's cock.

[Go ahead.]

Mmmmhpf!

Sky's beautiful eyes looked at the big palm that moved so fast. He had to match Pai's hand and follow the rhythm with his own as if they were really having sex. Sky's lips opened as if preparing for the cum to shoot in his mouth and across his face, and felt like P'Pai was about to cum on him for real.

"Aaaaaaaa!"

Sky twitched, his hand on the bed clawed at the mattress, his hips arched with pleasure as he slammed in with all his might and came- every drop of which splashed across the phone screen.

Sky collapsed onto the bed. He could still hear Pai's gasping until he picked up the phone and held it in front of his face, slipping his gel stained hand into his mouth.

"P'Pai (huff)... (huff) Let me lick... let me lick..."

Many times, when Pai came in his ass he loved to pull out his cum-streaked cock and place it against Sky's lips while commanding in his deep voice, "Clean me."

And with Sky's words...

[Ughhh, mmm!]

The big man unleashed his desire unti lit burst into a string.

Spurt!

Sky knew it would be much better if the cum went into his mouth.

"(huff)... (huff)... (huff)."

He pictured Pai laying on the bed, gasping for breath. When the growing arousal subsided, a pair of beautiful eyes looked at the lover who was similarly afflicted with lust, until Sky smiled faintly.

"So good, P'Pai..."

[Excellent.]

Prapai replied with a smile, then the big man turned to take a tissue and wipe his hands. An ordinary action that Sky had seen countless times, but it made him miss Pai even more.

If P'Pai was there, he would wipe Sky too.

"P'Pai..."

[What's up? Do you want to continue?]

"I miss you so much."

The person at the other end of the line froze before smiling. The tall man moved to lean on the bed, picking up his phone to meet Sky's eyes.

[I miss you too Sky, like crazy.]

Just a few words made him feel so good that his heart almost exploded.

--- --- ---

They talk about being apart for a while, then--

--- --- ---

[Talk like this when I get back to Thailand.]

The good humored Pai couldn't help but tease. The more he saw Sky blush with embarrasment, the more he wanted to tease, and that made Sky give in.

"Okay. I'll lick the cum off your cock. You'll tease me, and I'll do it. I'll beg you to fuck me until you get bored, but..." Sky smiled, "Come back to me soon."

And that made Prapai wish he could speed up time and get back to Thailand.

[I'll be back soon... but first-]

"?"

[Sky, wipe your screen. Seeing you through that cum stained camera is making me so hard.]

[herohimbowhore]

Smile by Maisie Peters can be used to explain Daniel Ricciardo from 2018 to the end of 2020, as well as Red Bull's search for someone to replace Daniel and fill the hole he left within the team.

By now, we've all grown aware of how unexpected Daniel leaving Red Bull was and the rapid driver change-ups that followed in his wake.

I think it's evident that Red Bull was not prepared to replace Daniel. From everything that we've learned about contract negotiations, Red Bull was expecting to re-sign Daniel.

Got bridges to burn and places to run

Yeah, this smile is a loaded gun

There was an hour-long private meeting with Dietrich Mateschitz, after which both Dietrich and Daniel came back smiling and it was thought that the contract was all but signed. During the meeting, Dietrich offered Daniel a matching salary to Max and reaffirmed it after learning what they were paying Max.

It's my party, my body, my business

It's my town and my crown and my hitlist

It's my world and you're just living in it

Daniel left Red Bull when no one expected him to, and in hindsight, yeah it was a bad decision. However, given the information available at the time, it didn't seem like the worst decision ever. Like, yes, Renault had its issues, but they were offering to build a team around him and were giving him a very nice contract.

Leaving Renault after 2020 seemed like a questionable decision after all that they had promised him. However, in hindsight, it was a decent decision because Alpine is a disaster and a half on a good day and to be honest there's not been many good days recently. Their 100 race plan is more like a 100 ways to not have a team.

No more Mrs. Sweet and Miss Nice

No more Mrs. Fuckin' Polite

Time for Mrs. Takin' What's Mine

You don't need him

Daniel since he has returned to the Red Bull ecosystem and started to love the sport again has made it very clear that he wants Checo's seat. There are several articles, interviews, and podcast appearances in which Daniel continues to confirm that he is indeed trying for that Red Bull seat. And despite what people may think, he has put in the results that would begin the conversations about moving to the main team, especially after the awful year that Checo has had. The pace that Daniel has shown in the AlphaTauri is not insignificant, while it didn't translate to points finishes as much as he may have liked, it shows what Daniel Ricciardo can do when you give him the car.

If he tries to control me, he's finished

Won't be crying, there's plenty of fishes

And I, and I, and I'm fishin'

You should know that you won't find another

I think Will Buxton has said it best: "And I think Red Bull has probably come to the realization that the only driver who can replace Daniel, is Daniel." Will Buxton goes on to say that if they can bring the Daniel of old back, then Red Bull will stick him back in the car to drive alongside Max because the Daniel/Max driver lineup was one of the best that Red Bull has had. Red Bull, since 2019, has been trying to fill the space Daniel left and for a time they've done so with Checo. However, after the disastrous 2023 season, there are so many questions about whether Checo is the person for that seat. Especially if the other teams do close the gap and don't drop the ball like they did this year.

______

Just a short analysis from my drafts that I thought I would post in celebration of submitting my Master's Thesis. Just two more final papers and I'll be done with grad school.

[kohakhearts]

tonight's anipoke rabbit hole (actually something i've been largely contemplating since i started rewatching the os, but i've been contemplating it Even More tonight LMAO) is the does gary oak is ash's childhood best friend (established) discussion, which...maybe it's because i already knew the direction of their arc when i went back to episode one, but i think i actually disagree with the notion that episode one presents a continuity error, i.e. that it suggests gary doesn't know ash. to save you all from my ramblings i put them under a cut but tl;dr this is a hashed out conversation i'm putting my two cents into for no reason other than that i can and i want to.

i will say that like...takeshi shudo's novelization does kind of contest my reading here, but it doesn't explicitly say ash and gary don't know each other, either. (iirc, what it actually says is that ash knows gary sort of peripherally and has the impression of him being A Bit Of A Jerk, because he comes from a family of local celebrities and it's inflated his ego - which also debunks the childhood friends thing, just in a different way. all things considered, this does make it pretty clear to me that ash and gary were not originally intended to be childhood friends however the head writers of the silver league arc were part of the team from the beginning or at least fairly early on in the os, so. take that as you will.)

i say this in reference to both the original and the dub, but there are some interesting language nuances that get cut out of the dub because they...obviously don't make a lot of sense. but i was doing my rewatch with the dub, so let me talk about that first. 'cause i actually watched the scene a couple times trying to decide if it really did feel like it challenged the childhood friends thing. and...i don't think it does?

the first line gary says that makes everyone say he doesn't seem to know ash is "well, you must be ash," which. yeah. okay, that'd be a pretty weird thing to say to a guy you already know, but i have one (1) strong thesis here and it's this: that's just how ten year olds are, lmao. the second thing he says (regarding how late ash is) is "at least you get to meet me." that one...okay, fair enough. now i'm starting to sound like the crazy one for saying This Proves Nothing. but you can't tell me ash's response to this isn't straight-up weird, ok, because he just kinda c: and goes "gary?"

this is...a poor translation, for the most part, but i'll get to that in a second. even watching this with no knowledge of the original, that call and response kinda feels like someone playing along with a bit. there's no way that he knows this guy's name just from the cheerleaders he literally bowled over to get to the lab. it's clear he already knows it from somewhere else (and following with the novelization, it's definitely the family of local celebrities thing, although that same novelization stipulates that gary doesn't even attend school in pallet town, so this is all around just a really Absurd series of events - that's why i love it so much, but still).

anyway, then gary says "that's mr gary to you" and ash's c: turns into a o: he's like. flabbergasted lmao. and he only reacts again to be like whaaat you got your first pokemon???

the rest of their interaction is just "can i see your pokemon" and "sucks to suck, sucker," so not incredibly noteworthy other than that ash goes from, like, weirdly polite with his little "um, excuse me" to when gary fucks off and he's suddenly pissed.

so in my efforts to like, dig into this more, i found that fan subs don't...completely translate the intention here, either. mostly i only got to thinking about this tonight because i was making a Joke and i pulled up a scene from this episode and it happened to be this one. for whatever bizarre reason, my choice to download Every Episode Of The Pokemon Anime led me to downloading japanese raws, not the dub. but that's beside the point. i actually sat down and listened to this scene with no english subtitles, and i was like. wait. i think this fits my thesis. let me explain.

(it all started when i noticed that when gary goes from addressing ash to addressing the crowd around them, he switches from using the pronoun "boku" to using "watashi," which probably is meant to show that he's trying to come across as Serious and Mature. i have not watched all of gary's episodes in japanese, but i've watched enough to know this is pretty irregular. i thought it was really silly, especially when...put in context.)

SO, in the japanese version, that whole "at least you get to meet me" bit isn't there - that was the translators' attempt at working around something untranslatable, because the actual progression after ash bumps into him here is something like:

>you're satoshi, aren't you? >yeah, it's satoshi-san >or should i say satoshi-kun?

which is...where the nickname comes from, obviously. and it's why he gets that Look on his face...you know the one

(this whole scene is very expressive and i love it, lmao)

even in subs, this is a weird thing to translate, so most people seem to emphasize the reference to ash's tardiness, like in the dub. but it misses some of the character beats laid out here, unfortunately. the satoshi-kun to ashy-boy pipeline is very complex. the shortcomings of the english language and all that.

anyway, gary's next line being "that's mr gary to you" does imply something about honorifics, but when ash just calls him "shigeru," he actually says "hey that's shigeru-kun to you," which doesn't suggest that he's telling ash off for being too chummy with him, as a stranger, so much as he's trying to say hey, we aren't friends, make some distance. because the next thing he says is something to the point of "you're supposed to be my rival, but you're already falling behind."

then the polite little "excuse me" of the english dub is actually ash saying "shigeru-kun?" which does seem awfully polite of him, but then he immediately drops it in his next line and just refers to him as "shigeru" again, so i maintain that it literally feels like he's just humouring gary here a bit lmao.

also worth noting, when gary drives off, ash in the dub says "i'll show you," but in the original just repeats the word "rival," looking very Worked Up.

also, just in general, i do think some of gary's lines here are like...pure exposition. he tells ash he's professor oak's grandson because the audience needs to know it. that doesn't really mean that we as the audience need to - or even should - assume it means he thinks ash doesn't know it, because he clearly does. i mean, he knew his name. that probably speaks for something, lol.

anyway, back to my thesis: this literally just reads like classic "first day of middle school" fuckery. gary oak is literally displaying symptoms of 12-year-old girl syndrome and ash is playing along because that's what pals do, right. like all i'm saying is that these two entered sixth grade and gary suddenly was like hey you can't sit beside me anymore and ash just kinda shrugged and was like haha ok, you're so quirky, and then only later when he heard gary shit-talking him realized hey wait a second, you're a bitch, we aren't friends anymore (and if this feels like an exaggeration, i work with children in this age bracket and believe me when i say i wish it were shdfhjdk).

in conclusion? yeah, the childhood best friends thing makes perfect sense. did they have a fight before this scene? has it been Years? no. gary just woke up and decided to start shit one day. most compelling relationship of the century, if i'm being honest.

ADDENDUM: when professor oak sees ash, he says something about "thats right, there were four people scheduled to see me today," but gary already seemed to know ash was going to be there, which leads me to believe they have at least enough of an established relationship for gary to know becoming a pokemon trainer was a goal of ash's and he had in fact gotten his license. because clearly professor oak didn't give him that info!

[yue-muffin]

So, I already blogged a bit about Omniscent Reader’s Viewpoint a while back, but recently I was looking for playlists to listen to and found a really neat cosplay stage play/musical (with very catchy songs!), which THEN led me to another stage play/musical the group did for another novel/manhwa series, Return of the Blossoming Blade/Return of the Mount Hua Sect.

Really do not need to obsess over another series right now, haha. I have a terrible habit of never finishing anything. But it scratches a particular itch I have for that genre. It also doesn’t seem to have romance as a main focus which finally.

Only thing actually stopping me from reading the novel is the fact that the translation out there chose not to translate certain terms of address (the equivalent of shixiong, shijie, etc.) and I do not have the brain power to learn those terms all over again for a different language. Also, the site I found it on had no footnotes?? So I just have to guess. A very minor reason, yes, but I need an excuse not to fall down another rabbit hole anyway.

Also, a nitpick as an amateur translator myself, but I don’t like it when terms that have an English translation are left in the original language. If you leave too many untranslated, it just gets confusing for the uninitiated. I mean, it’s okay to a degree. But at some point it’s like why even translate if you’re going to leave so much untranslated? (For example, I’ve seen Japanese novels where the translator straight up did not translate “tadaima” and other such phrases…why??) Not everyone in your audience is reading to learn a new language. Some people just want to enjoy the story the same as readers of the original version. Localizing to hell and back (as happens with video games and old anime…4kids era stuff) is not my preference either, but your reader shouldn’t have to whip out a dictionary.

Same with awkward wording. More understandable if it’s a fan translation because that’s a lot of work for no pay. But when we move into the realm of more professional publications, the language had better read smoothly. Some say it reads more “authentically” if it’s a little stilted, but I don’t think one should sacrifice readability for that. Because in the original language, that line was not stilted or unnatural at all. It read like a normal sentence in that language.

Also, funny side story: believe it or not, reading Japanese extensively actually once impacted my writing in English (on my thesis no less!). I started flipping clauses within longer sentences because that’s how Japanese is read. To my brain, it wasn’t an unnatural order because I became so immersed in the Japanese sentence order. Needless to say, I had a lot of editing to do, but at least it was easy.

[2headlightshine]

project #3 - e-textile monster

when the prompt of "plush monsters" was brought up, i immediately had a concept in mind.

i have been trying to figure out a design for a children's character based off one of these bunny sea slugs. they're a real sea slug native to japan and they just... look like this. naturally. i can't believe they're not a made up creature. translating this little cotton ball into a character has been challenging and i figured this project might help provide some insight

i made some test sketches and a pattern for the body

this was my first experience actually sewing so i had to figure out a lot of things as i went. i was trying to leave a seam allowance because i know it's important to do so, but i don't think i executed it nearly as well as i'd like to have. regardless, it was a good learning experience for patternmaking.

the point of the project was having the plush interact with tech -- with help i set up a circuit and sewed it together with conductive thread

although i was trying to be careful i definitely crossed my positive and negative wires somewhere. because it was all one color i couldn't tell where the cross was, so i pulled everything out and started again. (sad) (depressing) (nightmarish) (worst day of my life)

it actually wasn't that bad the second time around. i was more comfortable with a needle and thread at that point, and color-coding the positive and negative circuits helped me keep everything organized. because the lines aren't crossing, the lights successfully turn on.

i think it was worth messing up the first time because now i'll never go into a sewing project without making myself a guide on the plush again. referencing a drawing just doesn't click with my brain.

then i had to sew my bunny's body together and stuff it

it's a bit of a hackjob -- when you hold bunny in your hands, there are spaces where the fabric has gaps and the stuffing pokes out a bit. i also had to cut the ears off and redo them because the patterns were totally misaligned. from there, i brought some detail back into her face and her ears, and sewed buttons on for eyes. (a little creepy, but a little cute, too -- like coraline!)

from there, all that was left was putting together some clothes to protect the stuffing holes and hide the circuitry. i designed some simple overalls with a limited color palette that could play off the pinks and purples on her body already.

once i had sewn the body together, i was able to add details and embellishments. i decided to play up the button details to emphasize that homemade quality. i had to cut out the fabric under the buttons so the lights would shine through -- it's very subtle, but still visible

here's a recording of the lights in action

overall i'm very happy with the result, and i think i learned the basics of some skills that will help me a lot with my senior thesis project next semester.

What does your plush monster say about you?

my bunny has been a workshopped project for a long time and i will be spending a lot more time with her in the near future. she's a testament to my stylistic/artistic passions -- cute and nostalgic things, children's entertainment and design, weird and silly animals -- and the artistic commitment i'm trying to stick to.

i have always found it difficult to sit with a project and explore all possible avenues of it -- my brain often works faster than my hand, and once i have a rough idea on paper, i want to immediately move onto the next. i'm trying to sit and get to know bunny in as many ways as i can. i think it's a good way for me to leave my comfort zone.

What was a surprising moment?

crossing the wires for my first circuit attempt was devastating. reworking it the second time gave me another surprise -- it wasn't nearly as painful as i thought it would be. at that point, sewing had even started to become relaxing.

If you had more time, what is one thing you would change? Do next?

i'd like to learn more about dollmaking and pattern drafting, so she could be more three-dimensional instead of pillow-shaped.

[liapher]

in love with your dta book binding and i find i am increasingly more invested in wanted to physically hold a copy of dta so i was wonder if you had any advice or resources (programs/materials/web sites) for beginners or like point me in the right direction if you don’t mind?

Okay so keep in mind I'm very much an amateur at both typography and bookbinding

Alright, typesetting. What I initially did was just open some of the books on my shelves to see how those were designed and just use that as inspiration. That absolutely worked, although there are some details I would now do differently. Last fall/winter I fell into a bit of a rabbit hole and read every typography book that I could find at my library. The ones i would actually really recommend are the following:

“The Elements of Typographic Style” by Robert Bringhurst. This one is a really nice intro to all kinds of typesetting details. It’s also pretty easy to find PDFs of this book on Google :-)

Jan Tschichold’s essays on typesetting and book design, if you can get your hands on them. I think they were translated and published as “The Form of the Book.” Tschichold explains the typographical choices that have worked well for centuries and how to do modern (20th century) versions of those. He’s very much not into having fun and experimenting though. I nevertheless found it really interesting and useful to read what he wrote and to then decide whether to heed that advice or to deliberately ignore it (since I’m here to have fun with typesetting).

If you speak German: “Lesetypografie” by Friedrich Forssman and Hans Peter Willberg. Its thesis is basically: book design has to be for the reader, and it's really good at explaining what that actually means with tons of examples.

For a free online resource, you could also check out practicaltypography.com, especially the sections on page layout and text formatting.

Moving on: typesetting software. I use LaTeX because I was already used to using it for typesetting academic texts, and because it allows me to be a little control freak about all kinds of details >:) and because it allows me to programmatically import the text and change its design. If you’re already used to working with LaTeX or if you enjoy programming, I definitely recommend it, but otherwise I have to warn you that the learning curve is very steep. This document contains links to how-to guides for various other kinds of software though, maybe those might be useful to you?

For re-ordering the pages of your PDF so they’re in the order you need for folding signatures when handbinding a book, you’ll need an imposition tool. I use LaTeX, but I know lots of people swear on this online tool.

Designing a cover (if you want to use a print-on-demand service or if you want to add a dust jacket to a handbound book): I use Affinity Photo, mostly because that’s the image editing software I already had anyway, but I'd also generally recommend it; it can do lots and is sold at a very fair price imo. My general tip is not to place any elaborate design details near where the spine and the front/back cover meet (and the front/back cover and the cover flaps)—if you use a print-on-demand service, they might end up printing the cover just a smidgen too far to the left/right and it'll look weird if part of your spine design is now on the front cover, and if you design a dust jacket, you might underestimate the small amount of extra material you might need to fit the dust jacket around the spine or around the fore-edge of the cover. Before exporting the print-ready PDF, merge all layers—this will considerably reduce the size of the PDF.

Printing books via print-on-demand services: I've used lulu.com, which prints books that are of a fine enough (but not perfect) quality. If you want to design a cover + interior to print via their service, definitely make sure to read their formatting guide where they explain what kinds of trims/bleed edges/etc. you should take into account. To find out what dimensions your book cover is gonna need to have (specifically how wide the spine is gonna be), use their pricing tool and enter the page count, select the binding type etc. My tip here is to only start designing the cover once the interior is done and you know how long the book will be—otherwise, you’re gonna spend a fair amount of time adjusting your cover layout to work with a new spine width... :)))

Printing dust jackets: go to your local copy shop and check what kind of glossy, slightly-thicker-than-copy-paper paper they have available and ask if you can use their paper guillotine to trim the printed cover to the size you need.

Handbinding a book: I read the “printing” and “physical assembly” sections of this document, and I also watched a lot of Darryn Schneider's videos on Youtube—he’s a professional bookbinder who makes a lot of incredibly useful videos on various bookbinding techniques. Really great if you’re a visual learner! To get started, I’d watch his video on tools for beginners, his series on making a case bound book, and his video on the square back case binding. I really like the latter technique—it’s great if you’re making thinner books where the width difference between the spine and the rest of your textblock isn’t too, too pronounced, and if you're a bit scared of actually backing and rounding spines / don’t have the appropriate tools. I also found it very helpful to ask questions in this fanbinding discord!

In terms of tools, I have:

A good-quality cutting mat + cutter (Olfa, definitely worth the small investment so far), and a metal ruler

A bone folder (great for, well, folding stuff, but also for smoothing out creases as you glue cloth or paper to the bookboard)

An awl (and a couple of pieces of (mostly) corrugated cardboard stacked on top of each other to protect my desk when I punch holes into the signatures)

Two bristle brushes, a large one (about an inch across) and a small one (less than 1 cm across)

Sewing needles—I’d recommend using one that’s relatively blunt and large but a bit thinner than the awl for sewing the signatures, and a thinner and pointy one if you want to make headbands

I don't have a press, I just use a stack of heavy books

and as for the materials:

Off-white 80 GSM paper, but I’ve also used whatever off-white copy paper the library printers happened to stock. Real bookbinders use paper with the grain running parallel to the spine—I don’t since it’s way more expensive, at least where I live.

Bookbinding glue (see also here and here)

Cotton gauze

For these books, I used some random leftover woven cotton tapes, but afaik if the book is fairly thin you don’t need tapes and can just sew the signatures together with the French link stitch instead. (That's what I’ve been doing at least)

2 mm thick bookboard (solid cardboard, preferably acid-free)

Bookcloth. It’s special in that it’s made from non-stretchy fabric and backed with paper, so you can glue it to the bookboard without any glue spots staining the cloth. I’ve been buying bookcloth from bookbinding/stationery suppliers, but you can also find online guides to making your own bookcloth (no recommendations as I haven’t tried that yet)

Some pretty paper for the cover and/or the endpapers (optional, you can also cover the entire cover in bookcloth and use plain endpapers). Since this involves applying a bunch of glue to the paper, it’s a bit easier to work with if the paper’s a tad heavier than copy paper (around 100 GSM maybe?), although that isn’t a requirement

Linen thread. I got some from a bookbinding supplier and picked the 18/3 one, which is nice, but if I had to choose again I might consider getting something ever so slightly thinner. Also full disclosure I don't know how or if this thread is different from regular linen thread. Lots of people apply a thin coat of beeswax to their thread, but I haven’t done that so far, and haven’t had any problems with that (will report back if that changes)

Optional: a thin leather cord (or shoelaces) and some thin thread you happen to have lying around for making headbands

Also optional: some pretty ribbon to use as a bookmark, like those thin fabric ribbons you can buy for gift-wrapping

I think that's it? For the most part it’s about approaching this with a can-do attitude and not being too afraid of just trying things out

This is a bit all over the place, but if you have more specific questions, feel free to send me another ask! :)

[cheri-translates]

Headcanon - What he can teach you

Original title: 他能教你的

Original writer: 池离子 (chi li zi)

The principles he tells you and the knowledge he teaches you - they are all his love for you.

His love comes in the form of enabling you to fly independently.

[ VICTOR ]

You’ve never understood why Victor is always so strict with you, such as poking holes in your proposals. He not only gives you incredibly difficulty work, but also an incredibly short amount of time to complete them.

It’s ridiculous. Despite your numerous protests, he still leaves you with the work. He isn’t even willing to give you ideas on how to make amendments. Occasionally, when you make too many objections, he’d prepare your favourite pudding to placate you, and then return to his usual sternness.

Sometimes, you think that he doesn’t love you. All he sees is work. 

“Victor... why are you like this? When other CEOs date, they love pampering their girlfriends. They won’t let her experience any trouble or tiredness. Why are you the complete opposite?”

You’re gripping the proposal he just asked you to amend. You’re enraged and feeling wronged, eyes brimming with tears. 

Victor sighs. Getting up from his desk, he sits on the sofa at the side.

"Come here...”

You scoot over, akin to a petulant child. 

"Come and sit on my lap."

Placing the proposal on the coffee table, you follow his instructions.

He embraces you.

“I was too impatient... I just wanted you to be a little more independent. You’re already doing very well, but I can guarantee that you can do even better. This way, you won’t struggle when faced with competition in the business world... I was afraid that if you relied on me too much, and if I was gone someday, what would happen to you? I can leave you the company and assets, but that’s not what I want.”

“If you have to leave me one day, I hope you’d be independent enough and wouldn’t need me to help you with trivial things. If you don’t know anything and an accident happens someday, I’ll never be at peace...”

"We’ll do things slowly, okay? I’ll teach you little by little...”

-

[ GAVIN ]

"Ahh I’m so tired! I don't want to practice anymore!"

You lean against the wall, letting yourself slide down.

“This will be the last time. Try to break free from me. It’d really be the last time.”

Gavin pulls you up, locking you in place from behind.

You’re extremely tired. After squirming slightly, you decide not to move anymore, letting yourself remain locked in his arms.

“Wrong. Your elbow should be here... you could have also stepped on my foot, but you didn’t.”

You signal to Gavin to release you, then slump onto the ground. Gavin follow suit, sitting down on the floor. 

“Gavin, is this a new fitness method? You seem so fond of it... Isn’t running enough...”

“I’m teaching you self-defence for women.”

“Why? Having you around is enough! You can sense when I’m in danger, can’t you?”

Gavin tousles your hair.

"Yes... but what if I’m gone someday...? What would happen if I can’t protect you like I said I would?”

“I’d definitely keep you safe. But if you were to leave me one day, and encounter a gangster or robber in the street, what would happen? I want to ensure your safety, and also ensure that you can take care of your own safety.”

“You’re my most beloved person... I don’t want to see you get hurt in any way...”

-

[ LUCIEN ]

"Lucien! I can't reach for that book!”

"Why not try standing on a stool?"

"Lucien, how do I turn the water heater on...”

"Twist here... I’ll only teach you once."

"Lucien! I can’t tell if the omelette is ready. What should I do?”

"Turn the flames down, turn it over and fry..."

You begin to realise that Lucien isn’t willing to do certain things for you.

Even though he’s easily able to get the book down for you, prepare the bathwater for you, and make the best omelettes, you just can’t understand why he’s been sitting on the sidelines recently. In the past, he’d do these things for you in a heartbeat.

Which is why Lucien sees this current sight before him: You nestled in his arms, tears wetting the fabric of his pyjamas. 

“Lucien... are you getting impatient with me... and finding me a bother...”

“Why would I? What made you think that?”

Feeling wronged, you splutter a response, telling him about how you’ve been feeling.

Lucien chuckles, then replies solemnly.

“I will never find you a bother... I’m very happy when you ask me for help.”

“It’s just that... if I had to leave you one day, who would you ask for help? When a book is at a high place, would you just give up and cry?”

"Do you think I can rest assured when the Silly Girl just learnt how to use the water heater and how to fry omelettes today?”

“If you really want to continue ‘bothering me’, of course I’m fine with it. But... I think you should understand in advance, or at least get used to a possibility that I might lose my life in the future...”

"When that time comes, you must be even more independent than you are now, so that I can be reassured. Is that okay, Silly Girl?”

-

[ KIRO ]

“Kiro! I’m so upset! I’m so sad that I’m about to cry!” You walk in through the entranceway, toss your shoes into the rack, and collapse on the sofa.

"Sorry, Miss Chips. I know you’re upset, but I have work to do. Could you talk to Anna instead? She could accompany you to shop for good food?” Kiro freezes for a moment. Without even turning his head, he continues with what he’s busy with. 

It’s happening again.

Recently, whenever you share your feelings with Kiro, he’d choose to avoid it. You can’t help but think, does he dislike me? Or am I really clingy... Kiro already has to deal with so much stress, but still has to coax me every day....

After mulling over it, you decide to apologise.

"Sorry Kiro... I must be really clingy... Even though you’re a cheerful person, you’d definitely get annoyed by my negative moods... I’m sorry...”

“Miss Chips!”

Kiro finally stops what he’s doing, taking large strides towards you. Then, he takes you into his arms with a tight hug. 

"That’s not it, Miss Chips... I’m not bothered by you at all. I’m very happy that you tell me these things, but...”

"If I were to disappear abruptly one day, who would you tell these things to? Will anyone accompany you shopping like me? Will someone accompany you to eat delicious food like me?”

“Each time you’re unhappy, you’ll only share it with me, and you rely on me. I’m really happy... but you have to learn how to rely on Anna too. She’s a very dependable adult, and I believe that she can take care of you if I have to leave someday. 

"No matter when it is, I really like it when Miss Chips smiles..."

-

[ SHAW ]

“Miss, can I buy you a drink? "The strange man across the bar is holding two glasses of cocktails, offering one to you.

"No, I still..."

"Just one glass? You won’t get drunk. I just want to find someone to chat with."

"No, I... I..."

You keep refusing, but the man opposite remains enthusiastic.

"Hey, MC, what are you doing here? Let's go."

A familiar voice drifts to your ears, and two long legs in ripped jeans stride over.

"Shaw!" You stand up in surprise, lunging into his arms. Shaw was sensible this time and didn't wear clothes with rivets on them.

"And you. Don't ask someone else's girlfriend to drink. Let's go."

After that, he pulls you out of the dark and small bar.

"MC, what were you doing there?”

"Hehe, there’s some downtime at work, so I had to celebrate with a drink! I’ll also have a drink with you after your graduation thesis gets approved!"

"..."

"Next time, don’t come to such places. If you want to drink, drink at home. If you get drunk here, no one will care about you."

"No! I'll call you if I drink too much! You’ll come to pick me up immediately, won't you!"

Shaw releases your hand, and the street lamp casts an elongated shadows.

"Then what if I’m gone one day? What if I can’t rush to you in time? What would you do if you’re bullied by others? Are you stupid?"

It's the first time you see Shaw looking at you so seriously. Although the light is against his back and you can't see his facial features, you can vaguely see that his expression reveals an aura of worry.

“If I were to leave someday, who do you think would send you home? Who will help you reject the cocktail? Kiki?"

"Shaw... I...”

“Next time, drink at home. It’d be a little safer at home. Don't drink too much. It's best to bring a female friend with you.”

"Don't let me worry about you all the time, okay..."

–

More translated and original works: here

–

[ Permission to translate ]

池离子: OK! Just state that the source is LOFTER池离子. Also, if you’ve posted it, could you also take a screenshot for me? No need for the whole thing - just a little will do!

[incorrect-toriko-quotes]

Kinda related to your last post: If Coco was being chased by IGO scientists, doesn’t that mean that Ichiryu allowed permission for them to do so??? Or at the very least wasn’t aware of it?? Like man, that’s your son.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS, ANON

I’ve put more thought and research into this than I care to admit, so I'm gonna put this rant under the cut.

TLDR; Ichiryu not only knows, but he's totally cool with it.

(Screenshot from the Toriko Anime. I don’t remember which episode. It’s IGO Headquarters)

To start, I want to clarify: as far as I can tell (across the many translations, manga and anime, etc I've seen), Coco was chased down and experimented on by IGO scientists. Though personally, I find it likely that Coco would’ve been on non-IGO scientists’ radars, I can’t find anything that backs that up.

So! Back to the question:

"If Coco was being chased by IGO scientists, doesn’t that mean that Ichiryu allowed permission for them to do so??? Or at the very least wasn’t aware of it??"

I've spent what is, quite frankly, an UNGODLY amount of time digging down this rabbit hole.

My thesis: Ichiryu is not only fully aware of what is happening, but is completely okay with it

Let's start with the blatantly obvious, when it comes to reasoning:

Ichiryu isn't stupid. He's a whole lot of things, but 'stupid' isn't one of them. As Anon said, “that's his son”, and he's not only being hunted by scientists, but they've succeeded in capturing and experimenting on him (more on that later). That seems like the kind of thing Ichiryu'd NOTICE.

Now, getting into the deeper Toriko lore...

In the official Timeline for the series (as published by Shimabukuro himself!) it's stated that Coco was born in 473 GA, and was declared a Class-1/Highest-Level Dangerous Beast in 485.

(Screenshots from the Toriko Wiki, but information aligns with official book release)

Now, Coco was born towards the end of October (29/10), but we don't actually know the date he was declared a Dangerous Beast. Rounding for the sake of easy math, this means that he was likely 11 (~85%) at the time (with the chances of him being 12 being under 15%)

Either way, Coco would’ve been a CHILD.

(Image from Volume 2: Coco!! - VIZ Media translation)

Now, recall that he was declared a Dangerous Beast BECAUSE of his poison, which he got as a result of extreme IGO-mandated mithridatism. This means that he was already on the IGO's radar, and his powers were GIVEN TO HIM by the scientists who would declare him a "Dangerous Beast" later.

So, we have a child no older than 12 who was not only given his powers by the scientists, but is still being pursued.

Remember, again, that Ichiryu isn't stupid. He's laid-back and goofy, but he's not an idiot. Even TORIKO knows, and Toriko would've been ~10 at the time this happened.

(Screenshot taken from Episode 4: Prepare It! The Poisonous Puffer Whale! The Heavenly King Coco Appears! - Yes, this is a screenshot from a fansub)

Now, remember how I said that Coco would've been, at times, caught and experimented on?

I've seen this explicitly stated in some translations, but not others. However, it's worth noting that again, he had to be declared a "Dangerous Beast" for a reason.

He's about 11 at this time. Zebra, in the present, is also classed as a "Dangerous Beast" (if I'm recalling correctly) -- and this is PRESENT-DAY ZEBRA we're talking about. It's not like 11-year-old Coco's gone on violent rampages throughout cities and EATING entire species to extinction.

Granted, Zebra's an extreme case, but given the monsters that we see battled on the daily in this series? I think it's safe to assume that being given the label of Highest-Level Dangerous Beast is serious business. I highly doubt a calm, generally peaceful preteen boy who can shoot poison out of his hands is going to warrant that type of label -- at least, not without confirming that the poison he's using is seriously dangerous.

And these are scientists who need to be making such confirmations. See where I'm going with this?

(Photo taken of Volume One: Gourmet Hunter Toriko!! - This line is said in reference to the Troll Kongs, but as I mentioned in this quote, it SURE HITS DIFFERENT once you hear Coco’s backstory)

I'd also address Coco's general avoidance mannerisms throughout the series, but a lot of that could just be chalked up to both an unwillingness to be... y'know... captured for experimentation as well as his general demeanor. Either way, it’s worth putting out there.

With all this, not only should Ichiryu be AWARE of it, but it seems like he'd try to put a STOP TO IT.

While it's true that Ichiryu sometimes has a bit of a "tough love" attitude towards the Kings (sucker-punching Toriko during their early-series sparring match and sending him FLYING across the ocean and all), it's also true that Ichiryu generally seems to love and care for them.

When Sunny breaks a cup, Ichiryu focuses instead on bandaging up the cut on his arm. When he first met Toriko, he cradled him close and decided to adopt him after he collapsed in his arms. So when Coco was being hunted by IGO scientists, it'd make sense that Ichiryu would want to protect him, right?

That is, unless Ichiryu not only KNOWS, but is totally okay with it.

Yes, I’ve put WAY too much thought into this. A lot of this is just speculation, but I don’t think my theory is too ‘out there?’

(I tried to shorten this. And failed.)

-

-

-

And, just for funsies (and because, if I had to think of it, I'm dragging the rest of you down with me), I propose to you this theory:

Not only did Ichiryu know, but Ichiryu directly EMPLOYED THEM to hunt him as part of his "training", and the real reason Ichiryu was upset with Coco quitting Hunting to become a Fortune Teller was because Ichiryu realized how badly he screwed up (having completely traumatized his son and all)

(I have no real basis for it, I just wanted to make you all suffer with me!)

Feel free to argue in the notes ;)

[smallfrost]

MFSRI: The Burning of Scylla Ramshorn Comprehensive Analysis; Scylla as Ovid’s Phoenix

A while back I proposed the Burning of Scylla Ramshorn  as a theme for our Sexy Weird Necro (now re-branded, Sassy Sexy Weird Murder Nugget Necro). This was primarily about how she may have been burned in the past, either literally (her family was burned) or figuratively (Porter turned in her dodger parents). This evolved to include the fact that Scylla is literally wreathed in fire throughout the season, with actual flames and with more vague references to burning dancing around her. After having separate posts about this (here and here) in addition to my original theory, I figured I would first make a comprehensive list of all the times Scylla has referenced burning or is surrounded by actual flames throughout the season and then propose several options for what this might mean. Including, how the use of fire imagery combined with “nothing ever really dies” parallels to Ovid’s Metamorphosis and the Phoenix.

This one is a long one but come with me on this ride...

To start, we have all of the times she has used fire for Spree Glamour. (Note: Faux Raelle burning is still Scylla’s motif because she represents someone she cares about and loves, and the flames are reflected in Scylla’s eyes). 

Then we have Scylla and Raelle in Memorial Hall discussing if the Burning Times are really over, followed directly by a shot with a fireplace in the background and Scylla in the foreground. The same fireplace Porter is standing next to a few seconds later (re: Porter burned Scylla).

And we have Scylla saying she has been burned before and tends to burn. 

She also mentions the recent burnings of witches, even as recent as last year while she’s in the dungeon. 

--

So, what does this all mean? The strength of this theme for Scylla is ominous. Is it possible foreshadowing of a literal burning? Could be. Perhaps Scylla is terrified that she herself will be burned at the stake since a witch had been burned as recently as last year. She is terrified she will be executed. 

Perhaps this theme is referencing something that happened in the past, such as witnessing her parents being burned or being betrayed by someone she cared about as previously proposed. The parallels to Greek mythology in MFS have been a favorite topic of discussion amongst the theorist community and at the Research Institute, leading to many posts including analyses done by @captainjeclid​ and @trash-deluxe​. We know that Scylla is a Greek monster. We know that Odysseus, whom Raelle parallels, encounters Scylla on his journey home (after having visited the underworld). Could the Burning of Scylla be referring to her own personal Odyssey through the underworld; her own inferno? Would be quite fitting, seeing that she is a Necro. But I think there is yet another possibility… and that is fire as a form of rebirth; that which has died, transforms into the living - shedding a previous nature for a new one.

After seeing how Scylla and Raelle parallel the Odyssey, I hope to convince you of yet another series of mythological parallels, this time as it relates to balance, resurrection, and life becoming death, over and over again, all while linking Scylla to the phoenix as a symbol of rebirth [through fire].

Ovid’s Metamorphosis is an epic poem thematically contemplating transformation. Here we get stories like that of Narcissus, the man doomed to love himself, and Arachne being transformed into a spider. Over 15 ‘books’, the Roman poet, Ovid weaves his tales and ends on one containing the teachings of Pythagoras. And what do we learn? To quote directly, “All things are always changing, but nothing dies. The spirit comes and goes, is housed wherever it wills, it shifts residence from beasts to men, from men to beasts, but always it keeps on living”. Sound familiar?

Scylla teaches us the same lesson in the graveyard when she shows Raelle the Death Cap. Death is not so cut and dry. Nothing ever really dies. Life becomes death which becomes life again. Over and over. Scylla is almost quoting Ovid verbatim here, “Nothing remains the same: the great renewer, Nature, makes form from form, and, oh, believe me that nothing ever dies.”

Pythagoras really says nearly these exact words several times. He explains that death is not what it seems and not to fear it, but to understand that our souls are deathless, and that when they leave our bodies, they will find new dwelling places. Things are not static. They are always changing. The soul, the life force, is recycled in a never ending and eternal circle… That which once was, is no longer the same but still present. It is a process of renewal… In other terms, while Necros cannot bring the dead back to life, the cycle of souls shifting residence is itself, a form of resurrection. So, even if Willa Collar is death, her soul is not gone. Just… repurposed. It’s going to be up to our little Necro to find it.  

Aside: I just want to point out that this portion of Metamorphosis is riddled with examples of duality (day and night, fire and water, life and death), one of our favorite themes throughout MFS. And the never ending, harmonious cycle of renewal fits perfectly into a magic system built on the foundation of maintaining balance. 

So besides quoting Ovid almost verbatim, giving us our MFS Necro “religion”, why else is this portion of Metamorphoses relevant? Because immediately following discussions on how the life of one creature can come from the death of another, we learn that while “all of these things have their beginning in some other creature, there is one bird which renews itself, out of itself. [They] call it the phoenix.”

Now, Pythagoras does not necessarily say that the phoenix is born out of its own ashes. In fact, the historical association of the phoenix with fire is hard to trace and I had difficulty finding anything related to the exact origin of flames. But the symbolism of the phoenix throughout its mythology associates with the sun and fire. In Egyptian mythology, the phoenix flies to Heliopolis, the “City of the Sun” and builds its nest atop the Temple of the Sun, or brings its remains there after rebirth. In various versions of this myth, the nest catches fire from the rays of the sun. I’m not about to make this a thesis on the origins of fire being associated with the phoenix, but for now, let’s fall back on our western mythology of being reborn in flames and connect them to the theme of “nothing ever dies” in Ovid’s Metamorphosis. Indeed, Pythagoras discusses fire several times throughout Book 15 and how fire itself is part of these changing cycles. Including one instance where he literally states that “[They] set wood on fire by pouring water on it in the dark of the moon.” Considering @theycallmestephlee​ established that Scylla is Fire and Raelle is Water … the parallels are hard to ignore. 

The Phoenix from the Aberdeen Bestiary could lead us down another rabbit hole of parallels with Christianity and Lesbian Jesus Christ, Raelle Collar as @likethefoximalwayschanging​ has established. 

Ovid’s use of fire imagery throughout this portion of the poem, and the eventual association of the Phoenix with fire as a form of rebirth that is rooted in western legend, strongly suggests that Scylla is going through her own transformation by being wreathed in flames. She has lived her life by one set of values up until now, but her current nature is dying. Through that death, she will be renewed with a new moral compass. Scylla is questioning the foundations of her morality. She still believes that the Army is evil but knows that what the Spree asked her to do was equally horrendous (she has regret, she did not hand over Raelle). She has been through fire and brimstone, her own inferno. Her motivations were driven by that. She committed horrible acts. But now we’ve seen her begin strip away her old nature. Because Raelle, like water, found the cracks and flowed her way into Scylla’s fiery heart.

So even if there is a literal Burning of Scylla Ramshorn, she won’t die. She will be saved and “reborn” in a new light with a new nature. She has been scorched by fire in her past; what she has been through has led her to commit things which she regrets. There used to be no room for attachments, for love. But through her journey and through meeting and loving Raelle, her perspectives have changed. “That which has been, is not; that which was not, begins to be…”

Quotes from Rolfe Humphries’ translation of Metamorphoses.

[greylunar]

Look i straight up need the reference of every single book and quote and lyric in this godforsaken quiz bc i never read such beautiful thoughts. I know most of them have the source in the quiz but if you could make a compilation? Like this is your thesis and I'm asking for the bibliography, like any normal human does after a uquiz. But honestly thank you for creating the quiz it was amazing!

hehe okay friend I’ve spent a couple minutes in a google doc and I’m pretty sure I’ve got all of it now so! Under the cut is that bibliography! This is honestly such a sweet ask and I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to it! I hope you enjoy and I’m so glad you liked the quiz. I honestly got a lot of the quotes from the poems or books I haven't read from @riperain so you should check her out if you’re interested in more!

The majority of my Sleeping at Last quotes come from Atlas Ennanagram but honestly I would recommend checking out the premise for the entirety of the Atlas project, mostly because I just think its basically the coolest fucking concept hehe

In terms of quotes we have:

“Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, again” - Ellen Bass, the Thing Is

“As the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain & more precious, I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love.” - Jenny Slate, this tweet

“The world digs a hole in your yard & its up to you to fill it, up to you to find something useful to do with your sadness.” - Hieu Minh Nguyen, Outbound

“I wanted to hurt you but the victory was that I couldn’t stomach it.” - Richard Siken, Snow and Dirty Rain

“‘I thought you had been scared off’ 'You were right. I am scared. Do all lovers feel they’re inventing something? I know the gestures. I imagined it all, waiting for you.’ 'You dreamt of me?’ 'No, I thought of you’” Portrait of a Lady on Fire 

“The truth is this: My love for you is the only empire I will ever build. When it falls, as all empires do, my career in empire building will be over” Mindy Nettifee, This is The Nonsense of Love

“Should we go into it together / If I go into it with you I will never come out” (Margaret Atwood, from power politics: poems)

The books on my shelf I reference by title only are I Hear God Laughing a collection of poems by Hafez translated by Daniel Ladinsky, The Story Cure by Ella Berthoud and Susan Elderkin, How to Be a Good Creature by Sy Montgomery, Mister Miracle (my personal favorite comic) written by Tom King Illustrated by Mitch Gerads, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong, All The Lives We Ever Lived by Katharine Smyth, and Stranger in A Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. I haven’t actually read Creature, Stranger, and All The Lives, but all the others I would definietly recommend (although perhaps look up content warnings first).

The Bo Burnham lyrics are from Art is Dead, Left Brain Right Brain, Can’t Handle This/Kanye Rant, A Song From The Perspective of God, and Are You Happy.

The playlist of the songs referenced can be listened to here (with a few fun others!) 

And then, other than referencing the song Hannah by Freelance Whales and Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken (and obviously Harry Potter haha) all other writing is originally mine! I hope that helps and again its literally so sweet of you to ask and I’m so glad the quiz could connect with you! Have a wonderful day anon, and an even better one tomorrow c:

[the-resurrection-3d]

🏅 📚 💻

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

Hmm, I suppose I'm most proud of myself for keeping my channel open. If you haven't seen me post about that, one of my favorite bits of creative advice (from a choreographer, not a writer, but it still fits) is this Martha Graham quote:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

(The link goes to Zadie Smith's essay "Dance Lessons for Writers," which I definitely recommend.)

Keeping in the channel open applies to more than just writing a whole bunch for me, although it definitely has increased my production (I even finished and submitted my first bit of original flash fiction in a long time this morning). It also means embracing the gestation periods of my writing. @/bettsfic has a good article on substack about thinking of your writing in terms of "projects" rather than singular, disconnected "works," and I think that mindset has been really helpful to me as well. For example, the second part of my six-in-one fanfic EddTord Finale/ "and everything you say gives me a real bad feeling" had been giving me trouble since 2018. I tried and I tried and I tried. It never came together, for a multitude of reasons.

Last December, I sat down, had a fucking meltdown on the page, and now that fanfic is published in a professional magazine. They loved it. I got paid for it. Recently, I rewrote my big essay on George Orwell and the Book of Jonah, something I started in 2019 and which included bits of Paultryck fanfiction I'd written back in 2018. Keeping the channel open, to me, also means giving my fics and ideas months-- even years--to percolate in the back of my mind before they're ready to become the best version of themselves.

📚 Do you read your own fic?

Not very often, unless I have some external reason to. If I didn't get my fill of whatever emotion I was trying to invoke while writing the thing itself, then I'll just move onto rewriting that emotion in something new.

Also the cringe.

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

I love doing research! Most of my research, though, is reserved for my hybrid nonfiction/fiction works like "but I am home." (I know I bring that fic up a lot, but it's really the only available example of what I mean when I talk about hybrid/creative nonfiction, aside from maybe that one fanfic where I got thrown in jail and ate a lightbulb.)

Recently, I decided to try doing that style again for Luca in what I call "the Minotaur AU," which has led me down several rabbit holes-- not only have I discovered the writings of the American painter Chaim Koppelman from it, but I also read "The House of Asterion" by Jorge Luis Borges (which fucks hard) and found someone's master's thesis on the footnotes in House of Leaves. Embracing collage/hybrid writing has made researching for fanfics so much more fun.

Thanks for the ask!

[insomniacowl]

Book review of Pain pain go away by Miaki Sugaru (2014)

いたいのいたいの、とんでゆけ Is a Japanese phrase, or a chant invoked when someone is in pain, spoken by someone that cares for the one that is hurting, such as a mother to her injured child, or a lover to their partner in distress. Translating this phrased, used as the title of the book, into the rhythm of “rain rain go away” seems apt as the central mechanic of this story revolves around the heroin’s ability to push the misfortune that occurred into the future for a certain amount of time; “come again another day”

As the ability suggests, similar to his first title ‘starting over’, time manipulation is a key plot point, yet unlike it, is now less a vague MacGuffin left unutilized, is the source of the driver of this title’s central thesis. What will you do if you can do anything without repercussions?

Unlike his previous two titles, this being his first original piece as a published author, it shows greater in-depth character development, and better closure to the story, along with much less male chauvinism that was the result of his first two originating from his short stories uploaded to website 2ch, the Japanese counterpart of 4chan. Overall, it not only shows development in his writing skills but his increasing maturity as a person as well.

Yet now, or perhaps due to the decrease in the general “I hate the world” undertone that existed in his previous works, we can see him dabbling in the areas of pop-philosophy. This results in an attempt to justify misanthropy as stemming from the nature of human beings as being egoistical and inherently violent, thus the only way to control them is by using greater violence. Something one may arrive at if they misinterpreted a fragmented quote of Thomas Hobbes’ poem ‘Leviathan’. Justifying the use of grotesque violence to get even with those that have wronged you in the past. This is the answer the author posits as the default behavior of people to the thesis of this title.

The story takes place in the 3rd layer of nested timeline. When the heroin, Kiriko pushes forward the accident by five years to save the MC Mizuho from his death from a freak accident after he saves her from an abusive household, creating the second layer. In the second layer, when nearing the fifth year, Mizuho runs over Kiriko with his car, and due to the time manipulation abilities, with Kiriko not having aged in the five years, they do not recognize each other. Kiriko pushing back her death here by a few days creates the 3rd timeline the story takes place in. Since she could only push back her death by a few days this time, she enlists Mizuho to help her in her revenge murder rampage by guilt-tripping him for the accident.

The commonality the MCs of Miaki’s titles so far are the unfortunate childhoods they had under a negligent or abusive parent. Reading the afterwords of this book, we can see that he is drawing parallels from his own childhood and is using writing as a coping mechanism of his trauma. Allowing the enacting of power fantasy, of a young man who is deeply traumatized having a chance at recovery through saving their love interest from a painful fate.

In this afterwords, Miaki talks about many pitfalls in life that people can fall into throughout their lives, each with their own unique depth and width, making some harder to climb out of than others. This is probably why his books resonated with me so much in the past. I can describe myself as having had fallen into such pits and over time have given up trying to get out of it. Similar to the MC’s experience, observing a close friend’s suicide being the trigger that led to the tumbling down into this pit. And like the concept of ‘Baka’ discussed in the review of the previous title ‘Three days of happiness’, I built my identity strongly around it, refusing help that others were so kind to offer to drag me out of it.

This book review, of Miaki’s works that I loved as that ‘Baka’ in the hole, and now that I use as a reflexive tool to understand where I was, and where I stand now, is both a tool I use to cope, but is also a journal, apology letter to those I hurt along the way, and a thank you, I am getting better now thank you for having been there at a point of my life. And hopefully, if by any chance these writings can be of help to someone out there who was like I was, I can pick up some language to help understand what they are going through and perhaps start on recovery earlier then I have had.

[allyourprettywords]

“60 Songs About Quilting,” Sammie Bordeaux-Seeger

1) Sometimes all the heirlooms you make have to be sold to cover your daughter’s rent.

2) Selling some quilts is like selling children.

3) Some quilts you make scare you, just like stories writers tell scare them, even as they tell them.

4) I remember the first quilt I made when I was 22. I didn’t finish it because all the others in that class who finished their quilts used them for funerals.

5) That class taught me that the making of quilts was the beginning and end of grief.

6) I remember the quilt I was first groped under. I was nine. My mother’s boyfriend/my brother’s father, it was a quilt my mother made that had nine diamonds, not the usual eight you find in a star quilt. She tells stories about that quilt and laughs. I only remember the hand forcing me to hold a penis for the first time under that quilt.

7) Quilts can be both a comfort and a terror.

8) This quilt I am currently pressing has holes in it. All quilts are full of holes, but some can be seen, some not. I mend all the holes as I come to them.

9) It is a heartache to let go of a quilt I have made with my hands.

10) I sometimes wonder if we give away pieces of ourselves in these quilts.

11) I have found pieces of myself in quilts.

12) Every star quilt I have ever made now belongs to someone else.

13) I made quilts for my children for their graduations. One of my children has never graduated. She will get the best quilt.

14) Washing a new quilt before someone sleeps under it is washing away the quilt luck.

15) My quilts reek of smoke because I smoke while making them. I smudge. I smoke. I pop M&Ms like they’re pills to make me quilt faster. They work.

16) My friend told me M&Ms are my version of self-medicating. I told her the quilts are the medication.

17) I have made death quilts for all the people I loved who have died. I have watched my sad quilts lowered into graves with the remains of my beloveds. Those quilts glowed.

18) They say the Lakotas began to make star quilts to replace the buffalo robes meant to honor men for their greatness.

19) I say Lakota winyans began to make star quilts so they’d have something to do with their hands that wasn’t stabbing men for their greatness.

20) I am not a man hater. Do you honor a man for his greatness by wrapping him in a robe that shows your own greatness?

21) Lakota star quilts are made up of diamonds which form stars

22) Rihanna’s song “Diamonds” understands this. This is a Lakota song. “You and me, we’re like diamonds in the sky.”

23) There are 36 diamonds in one quilt block of an eight-pointed star. Each diamond is cut at a 45 degree angle. 288 diamonds make a star. I cut each diamond individually. I sew each diamond individually using ¼” seams. There is some math involved in quilting.

24) That white math teacher at the college believes Indians can’t do math. She doesn’t understand how math-y life and survival actually are.

25) The population of Indigenous people on this continent was estimated at 50 million pre-white contact. Some scientists believe it may have been as high as 100 million. At our lowest point it was only 200,000, post-massacres, diseases, and starvation. Today we are up to 2 million. Still less than 1% of the total population if you don’t count Mexicans, but we do. We count all our Indigenous brothers and sisters. Indians are the fastest growing population in South Dakota, and Indigenous are the fastest growing population on this continent. Someday we will be the majority again. How’s that for math?

26) Imagine how many baby star quilts it would take to welcome every newborn Indigenous baby.

27) That white math lady is paid by money generated by Indians going to college. She’s paid more than the Indian instructors for her trashy opinion that Indians can’t do math.

28) My poetry teacher told me to take the quilt pieces off my wall and put my poems there. That’s how I finished my master’s thesis. I wanted to say, I can write while I quilt. I am poeming and piecing all the time.

29) So many quilters make quilts with words in them. One put the treaties in her quilts. Another wrote “I can’t breathe” in black fabric on her quilt. I like to think my quilts speak without the need of words, but let’s face it, sometimes a quilt, like a poem, needs to be obvious.

30) I don’t hate white people.

31) I learned as much about quilting from whites as I did from Indians.

32) Quilts need all colors to be successful.

33) No one is ever going to write “All quilt lives matter!” so I will here. It doesn’t make sense.

34) I learned to speak white so I could write this poem in your Native language.

35) I didn’t really have a choice about learning to speak white.

36) There are some good white people. I don’t say this to appease or patronize. I mean good white people have enriched my life. If they did it out of guilt, I don’t care.

37) There are some bad Indians. I might be one of them.

38) I am both bad at being Indian and bad at speaking for Indians or speaking to Indians

39) I am not going to be good at being Indian until I stop judging my Indian-ness using shallow white terms.

40) I am a half-breed. The Lakota word for half-breed is “ieska.”

41) Ieska means “speaks white”. Also, “Interpreter” or “translator”.

42) Lakotas inherently distrust translators because of what happened to Conquering Bear.

43) I don’t speak fluent Lakota. I couldn’t begin to translate much beyond the shortest phrases. I “know” Lakota by listening to tone of voice and understanding about five hundred words and phrases.

44) To some Indians and whites, where you come from and how you were raised matter as much as your DIB, Degree of Indian Blood.

45) I am 35/64’s Sicangu Lakota.

46) I am enrolled at the Rosebud Sioux Tribe.

47) I was born and raised at Rosebud, South Dakota.

48) My tribal enrollment number begins 345-U-#####

49) It does matter that I am an enrolled member of a federally-recognized tribe if I want to sell my quilts as “authentic” Indian art. There is a federal law that mandates this.

50) Why is it called “Mandate?” Man + Date = An Order?

51) Who made up these rules and words anyway?

52) Hey, White Math Lady, Indians can do fractions, too! If nothing else, we know our fractions.

53) Can someone tell the white math lady that I learned algebra from a Lakota math professor who earned his Ph.D. in math from Notre Dame University?

54) Maybe you could also mention that he wrote an algorithm that is used to provide water to much of South America. Math = MniWiconi

55) To you White Math Teacher, I offer this proof that Indians can do math:

56) The star quilt is made up of pieces cut at precise 45 and 90 degree angles. The Isosceles triangle is not easy to create in fabric. The balanced 45 degree diamonds are faceted by 48 other 45 degree diamonds that must be perfectly pieced in order to fit together correctly, or the quilt with ripple.

57) Look at the perfectly square squares in each corner, how they create the straight line that bisects the center of the quilt.

58) Tell me about math, about geometry, about the Golden Mean, and I will show you the Lakota Star Quilt.

59) I offer you this proof that you have nothing to tell me about Indians and math and competency tests that you give as proof of your assertion: Indians were making star quilts before they had ever met fabric. They were called buffalo robes.

60) Perhaps if you believe Indians can’t do math, White Math Lady, you should go back to teaching your own, mathematically-competent people?

61) This quilt is made up of holes, of wholes, of halves and quarters and tiny stitches and big stitches and words and pain and memories and laughs and sweat and smoke and chocolate and my grandmother’s hands. This quilt isn’t about math or Indians or treaties or men.

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: Round 12

This is a very popular tag game, it seems! Tagged by @ren-c-leyn! Thanks, friend! I am evidence that you can do this game thousands of times, as I have answered 12% of 1000 questions by now. 😋

🎶🎵Hit me baby one more time🎵🎶

My Questions (running out of creativity, must consume more media):

What baseball positions would your OCs be in if they all had to be on a baseball team? What’s the team name? What’s their mascot? What do the uniforms look like? (If you hate baseball or prefer a different sport, substitute said sport for baseball.)

How good are your OCs at bowling? How good are you at bowling?

Rewrite this in your style: “I picked up the book and read the back. He took it from me before I could protest. He never lets me have the cool stuff.”

What do you love about the last book you read?

What are three things you love about your writing?

What’s a word you love the sound of? What’s a word you really don’t like the sound of?

How do you like to begin your stories?

What other forms of writing have you tried other than the one you’re working with now? (i.e. playwriting, screenwriting, poetry, interactive, novels, short fiction. etc.) How do you feel about them?

What’s your favorite play/musical? Why? What’s your favorite part?

What kind of stories do you like to read? How different are they from what you write?

What’s your favorite bit of worldbuilding from a story someone else wrote?

Frodo Taggins:@cawolters, @mvcreates, @a-story-im-writing, @cvrmillas, @ink-flavored, @aslanwrites, @the-real-rg, @bookish-actor, @toboldlywrite, @pens-swords-stuff, @tangoswips and legit anyone else who wants to do this. Especially you.

Answers under the cut!

1. Why did you chose to write the genre you do? If you don’t write in any particular one, why do you bounce?

I grew up writing literary fiction, the undergrad program I studied in prioritized literary fiction, and I like it best. Sometimes I get fancy and branch into fantasy. 

I do not write sci-fi because it’s too hard for me. I’ve tried, it didn’t turn out well. I also don’t usually do horror because it’s a lot of effort for me to make my brain go that kind of dark. And I tend to stay away from YA because the voice is tough for me to write in.

2. Favorite name?

Lydia! 

3. Type of music/ambiance you listen to while writing?

I make playlists and loop them or put the same song on repeat for however long the writing session lasts. Usually a cello/violin piece. Sometimes I’ll hit flow state without anything playing and come out weirded out by the silence. That’s always fun.

4. Best feeling you’ve ever had while writing? (example: filling in that one plot hole and not making another one. Or dropped a tiny detail in and it connected all of the subplots Perfectly.)

I get one in just about every story. Each one has a line/section that I wrote, stopped, and looked at it while going “yisssss” in my head. Usually it’s my last lines. That’s when I love to bring everything together. For my war story, it was finding the perfect song to include that referenced both a character and his journey (”Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” for those wondering). 

A few others: Finishing my last thesis story after having to rewrite it one day before my last draft was due to my committee because computer errors ugh (but it was way better the second time and I got some good bird imagery in there so it’s all good). Putting in a callback to a character’s old desk by using her new one. Getting the dream scene tense shift perfectly paced in the story I’m working on now. Hitting the perfect emotional beat and satisfying the whole dang emotional arc thread in my artist short story.

5. Is it easier for you to write comedic situations or serious ones?

Serious, by far. My funny doesn’t translate well to the written word. I mean, I can do both, but my serious emotionally heavy scenes are far easier for me to bust out than the funnies. 

6. Do you tend to use symbolism a lot?

Unconsciously, all the time! I think it’s almost impossible for a writer to not use symbolism. On purpose, slightly less than all the time. I prefer rhyming actions than what a lot of people think of as symbolism. I don’t do the “x person is represented by the color red and it gets more washed out as the story goes on symbolizing their internal crisis of conscience.” I’m more of a “here’s a thing they both liked and an innocuous detail about it but now that one of them is gone the detail means something different and the weight of the symbol changes.”

I like extended metaphors a whole lot.

7. Think fast: Which book inspired your writing style the most?

Uhhhhh The Things They Carried? Or Wintergirls. Or Hooked on Phonics (heh). I’ve found that Anne Valente’s style is kinda similar to mine, too. Possibly Where the Red Fern Grows. I dunno. There are so many!

8. Last book you read?

I just finished Autoboyography, it was lovely. I recommend it for anyone who wants a coming out story that helps you learn about Mormonism and the LDS church. Also the main character is a wonderful disaster.

9. Book you’re currently working on?

So many. But I just started reading Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan. It’s an odd style that I’m super not used to reading in longer fiction (it reads like a short story, which is neat) but I’m trying to get into it.

[Edit: yeah, I gave up and swapped it for Once and Future, which is good.]

10. Do you ever regret deciding you wanted to be a writer?

I have. I do sometimes. But I never really “decided,” per say. It’s just been what I’ve always done and I keep doin’ it. 🚂 That’s why I’m gonna study and have a career outside of writing. It’s the thing I love to do and I’m good at it, but I know myself, and it’d be tough for me to become a career writer. Unless some miracles happen.

11. Something besides writing or reading that you like to do for fun?

I started getting into graphic design, which is a lot harder than I thought. I like going to art installations and ren faires. I love theatre, watching and participating (I’ve written, directed, and acted before!). I like going to local art events, festivals, faires, and supporting local businesses. 

[aibrechts]

MDZS predictions

and spoilers, bc im going dick deep in this meta

I’m pretty much just here to talk through where I believe the direction of the story is going to land us. Obviously some people actually Know how it ends, but I’m just out here waiting on translations so this is a thesis on why Jin GuangYao is the greatest villain i’ve encountered in ages???? or, why the subtle intricacies of GDC’s plot make it such an engaging and satisfying read, all the better with how it all seems to be tying together so neatly.

At a loose guess I’d predict the full novel will be around 100~ chapters, and sitting at 73 we have quite a lot of content and we seem to be staring the climax in the face. It’d be suitably dramatic to have LuanZang Hill as the final setting, and well. They’re already there. Nowhere to go now but to drop down that cliffhanger.

There’s a few holes in the story right now - mostly because, uh, the story hasn’t been translated yet LOL but I think we’re all pretty certain that Jin GuangYao is the actual villain of the whole series. One of those holes we have is Mo XuanYu.

What we know is that he was Jin GuangYao’s half-brother (?), that he went to the Jin sect to learn cultivation, and that he was cast out for ‘harassing’ Jin GuangYao. What we also know is that the ritual which Mo XuanYu used to summon Wei WuXian was found in Jin GuangYao’s hidden room - a ritual that was forbidden, reviled, supposedly lost to time.

Jin GuangYao was involved with Mo XuanYu, and none of us know exactly how. We also know he’s a vile, manipulative liar. How hard would it have been for him - him - to convince the Lanling Jin Sect that Mo XuanYu was approaching him, harassing him, repulsing him.

How easy would it have been for Jin GuangYao, whose track record is faultlessly winning over every single person he meets, to welcome Mo XuanYu with open arms, have Mo XuanYu trust him, to let him find the ritual, to spurn him, to break his heart, to throw him out, to ruin him - all while knowing he has everything he needs to do what Jin GuangYao needs of him. All the incentive Mo XuanYu needed to summon Wei WuXian into his body was to have his life unravel and turn to absolute shit.

Make him helpless, make him hopeless, give him no other directions to turn but that one single door Jin GuangYao is holding open for him.

Let’s not forget he was also the one responsible for driving Nie MingJue into Qi Deviation, having him killed, dismembered, and the pieces spread across the countryside. Oddly enough, though, everything points towards someone intentionally loosing the left arm on Mo Village - coincidentally at the same time as Mo XuanYu summoned Wei WuXian. Odd. Interesting.

It’s hard to say whether everything that happened afterwards was his intention - we have Xue Yang but we don’t have our gravedigger, and while we know that means Xue Yang and Jin GuangYao were involved (not even getting into the amulet yet), there’s no proof to imply that Jin GuangYao is the grave digger. There’s someone else involved, and if Jin GuangYao wanted his manipulation of Mo XuanYu and releasing Nie MingJue’s arm in the village to lead everyone to Golden Carp Tower, why was the gravedigger working so hard to keep them from finding the pieces of Nie MingJue’s body?

Unless of course, recalling what happened after Yi City, the gravedigger was only there as a will-o-wisp leading them to Xue Yang.

Did Jin GuangYao expect them to defeat Xue Yang? Did he WANT them to? It doesn’t seem beyond the realm of possibility. It seemed quite clear from Wei WuXian’s fluting that Xue Yang had the corpses in Yi City under the control of the Stygian Tiger Amulet. So... if Jin GuangYao had already gotten what he wanted from Xue Yang, and if Xue Yang had descended too far along this mad story of his regarding A-Qing and Xiao XingChen, was he of any use to Jin GuangYao, or just another loose end to have someone else tie up?

He wouldn’t believe that son-of-a-servant Mo XuanYu dragged himself out of his bottomless depression and ended up trekking across the countryside hunting down dismembered ghost appendages with Hanguang-Jun, so it would be natural for him to assume he performed the ritual. But now he has Wei WuXian trekking across the countryside hunting down dismembered ghost appendages with Hanguang-Jun. Did he see Lan WangJi coming? Was he part of the plan from the start? Whether he was or wasn’t, he wasn’t a hurdle Jin GuangYao couldn’t jump to get where he needed to go.

Lan WangJi’s support of Wei WuXian didn’t stop Jin GuangYao from having Wei WuXian find Nie MingJue’s head in his room and hiding it away before he could call every proficient cultivator in only to witness Jin GuangYao denounce and expose ‘Mo XuanYu’ as the YiLing Patriarch. Lan WangJi lost any sway his voice had in the cultivating world when he fled with Wei WuXian, but his brother - his brother wouldn’t be so easily swayed. And Jin GuangYao has been so certain of Lan XiChen’s loyalty to him for so long.

Lan WangJi might have been unexpected; he might just be the spanner in the works that grinds it all to a halt. He and Wei WuXian had already exposed to Lan XiChen the possibility of Jin GuangYao driving Nie MingJue to Qi Deviation. If that doubt is enough to weaken the foundation of his unquestioning trust in Jin GuangYao, it might be enough that his plan could fall apart.

So, he has to act quickly. Expose Wei WuXian. Work the people into a frenzy. Have the junior disciples kidnapped and the graves dug up. What for? I feel like it’s something bigger than simple fear mongering. Remember that Stygian Tiger Amulet he’d had Xue Yang perfect before throwing him to the dogs?

What happens next? I have no idea. It’s all coming to a head and I’m not sure how it’ll come together but I know it’s gonna be GOOD. The best part is that all these details only fell into place in these most recent chapters - but they were all there from the beginning. I see all the threads now, all the deviousness of Jin GuangYao’s influence, but I can’t see the whole picture. I don’t know what his endgame is. Lure all the world’s cultivators into one place and kill them with the amulet? He only needed Xue Yang and a big enough festival for that, why would he need to have Mo XuanYu summon Wei WuXian?

It’s going to be bigger - I know it is. I just don’t know how. And that - all of THIS - is what makes this story so compelling, so wonderful, so clever and enticing. The composition, the orchestration, the execution! Kisses m fingers!!!! Wow!!!!

Also idk where this fits because I wrote this in a storm of adrenaline and a race against my computer crashing into a circle of hell so deep even restarting it wouldn’t bring it back, but I’m also pretty certain Jin GuangYao somehow manipulated Wei WuXian into killing Jin ZiXuan and Jiang YanLi. Jin ZiXuan was Jin GuangShan’s first heir; of course he wanted him out of the way. So, um. Who’s gonna break the news to Jin Ling that the man responsible for the murder of his parents isn’t the reviled YiLing Patriarch at all, but his own precious uncle?