#back to like. maybe 5 just hurts)
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I HATE how much people do to defend noah on here and on twitter like why are you all forgetting he’s a zionist?
#I’m tired of the excuse that he is young and that he’ll grown and learn because he’s already grown and should know what’s right and wrong#what he said and what he did was NOT a mistake#calling zionism sexy is not something he’ll be forgiven for EVER#there are people his age that know better#maybe he could have changed after what he posted on instagram#but he really proved he doesn’t gaf after that video of him calling zionism sexy leaked#and i do not feel sorry for him because he put himself in that position knowing the amount of criticism he was gonna get#but he doesn’t gaf and i can guarantee you that apology on TikTok was just so people wouldn’t boycott season 5 💀#which also yeah reminder to not watch the season on netflix when it comes out and pirate it instead#if people don’t like noah there’s a valid reason and it’s because of what he did back in october 2023#you guys also need to remind yourselves that noah and the show most likely had lots of palestinian/muslim fans#and i can not imagine how hurt and upset they must have felt when they saw what noah did#so please stop shaming others for disliking noah because we have every right to#and this is coming from someone who was a huge fan of his and i even defended him from haters#but i can not defend him from this because what he did was just beyond wrong#stranger things#will byers#byler
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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guys i caught a mouse at work today
#i was walking the tech guy back because one of our printers broke#and i opened the door like yeah its right back he- thats a mouse. thats a mouse sitting in the middle of the room#he was very small and i think very confused/freaked out because he just let me. scoop him up. into my gentle loving arms#like he tried to run a little but he didn’t seem to really know where to go#so i was just on the floor like trying to get ahold of this very tiny very pathetic mouse without hurting it#while saying hey um. dont mind me printers right there with a mouse half in my hands#printer guy brought me over a little basket he found and i scooped mousie into the basket#and then i had a mouse in a basket. so i went back into the lobby and went Guys i have a Mouse in a Basket#and then my supervisor escorted me outside and we found a nice little tree with some shade and little plants to dump him at#except hed been scrambling up the basket the whole time and i think hes just accepted his fate to live there forever by then#because he would Not get out of the basket. i had to very very gently scooch him out#and yeah. maybe i pet the mouse. what do you want from me. he was very small and cute and very soft and rabbies isnt real and cant hurt me#he was so fucking cute. oh my god he was so cute. i hope he does well for himself#coworker was like ‘youre just gonna put him outside to be somethings lunch?’#and i said well. better he be lunch for someone than die in a gluetrap in some dark corner of the office#slightly more dignified way to go. benefits something. but i will be praying for a long and happy life for him regardless#every single time ive seen a mouse in my life ive immediately gone ‘oh im fucking Getting You’ <- lovingly and adoringly#so far im 2 for 5. 40% accuracy rate of Getting That Sucker#which i dont think is too bad considering mice are very small and quick and good at not being getted
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Might need to unironically make that frame by frame analysis of Majima's expressions in the final scene with Makoto in yakuza 0 im being so fr ive been thinking of that for like a Week
#AUGHHHHH#HE DOESNT SAY ANYTHING BUT HIS FACE JUST MANAGES TO BETRAY HIS FEELINGS#YOU CAN SEE IT. THE WAY HE SHIFTS THROUGH A RANGE OF EMOTIONS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE 5 SECONDS#ITS SO FUCKED UP#THERES A POINT WHERE HE JUST EVER SO SLIGHTLY SMILES AT HER#AT THE HOPE THAT MAKOTO MIGHT REMEMBER HIM. IF NOT FOR HIS FACE THEN MAYBE HIS ACTIONS#AND. AND THEN THE WAY HIS FACE FALLS AFTERWARDS AND HE LOOKS HURT#I FUCKING. JTS FUCKED UP MAB#the facial expression animations in y0 specifically are so good i think abt this all the time#AND IT CULMINATES IN THAT CUTSCENE. TRUST#hmghh majimfa...#TGAT LAST CUTSCENE MAKES ME SO SICK ITS SO NOT FUNNY EVERYTHING ABOUT IT#THE MUSIC. EVERYTHING MAJIMA FUCKING DOES. UGH#i need like a printed out picture of him to crumple up and pour milk on#or a cardboard cutout to beat up. idfk i Hate Him i need to analyze him so bad#that scene in the actual-final cutscene of the game where makoto is listening to the music box on her watch#and it fade transitions to majima walking in kamurocho alone with it playing in the bg#(before it gets gay)#i hate him when i get back to kiwami i need to beat him up everytime i see him in the streets#so that he wont be alone of course. Haha#sigh. i should make that post. actually no i should be shot instead
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I thought today was a good one..
#just some vent art idk#vent#vent art#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#the initial start was unclear#i got ready for my class like usual and my dad's mood was entirely unreadable#usually in these situations i have an internal debate thats goes something like#“is he in a good mood? is he in a bad one? is his eye irritated again? maybe he's still waking up?”#its a 50/50 kinda deal#sometimes he's emotionless until right when im dropped off and he says “have a good day! love you!” in his nice way#today there was nothing#i just got out of the truck and just as i was closing the door i barely heard a “love you” in a monotone voice#i thought nothing of it bc i did some work before class and my mood lightened#afterwards i went to the lounge and they were doing another event thing that offered free food if you did it#the food was greek food so i figured it wouldnt hurt. i got the food#it was awesome ngl and it really made my day better#then dad picked me up....#he was still unreadable but i could tell his patience was low just by the way he was driving#its crazy and kinda sad that i can immediately tell what mood he's in even through the most mundane change#but about 5 minutes into the ride my mind was a racing mess. i kept asking questions#trying to gauge what mood he's in. he wasn't projecting or groaning like he usually does so o figured maybe he's just wanting to get home#to my surprise we didn't immediately gi home: we went to his old work (family owned business)#when we got there I can't describe the relief i felt to be with other people. especially my grandmother#i did some refund stuff while we were there. dad also seemed to lighten up and things seemed fine#but when we got back in the truck it was back to being tense. we still didn't go home- we went to the bank so he could cash a check#but otw there he mentioned his birthday is this Saturday. i said i knew and that I'd be happy to spend the day with him if he had something#planned. bc id loke to spend time with him on his bday instead of my Granny's Halloween party (which i still enjoy but yknow.. dad)#there's an awkward silence and then he just goes “i guess based off your silence you're not interested in what i have planned for my birth-#day?“ perplexed i said ”i am- im just waiting for you to tell me“
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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i saw her friend today and in a way i think it really ehlped cuz she was the one who was being so kind and like 'how are you doing i know this must be hard but i still want to be friends' and it really touched me cuz iw as stressed cuz i was paranoid they were talking shit about me or smth. she also told me she was also shocked when she found out that she broke up w me so i guess it feels good knowing im not the only person kept in the dark i guess but its like if its something she couldnt even tell her friends about then what made her do it. cuz when i asekd her friend 'did she ever seem concnerd about the relationship or anything' her friend was like 'no.... not.... not really?' which idk if i fully believe but i dont think she was totally lying cuz she did seem to at least consider it. so if she wawsnt lying then i still dont understand what compelled her to dump me
#and i mean this is a friend shes CLOSE with. like super close with#and yeah there is the possibility shes lying just to keep her privacy which i understand but still like the fact even she was shocked when#she found out she dumped me ?? like that has to mean something#however when i asked 'how is she doing' her friend was like 'shes alright' and idk why but that kinda hurt#and idk if she was just saying it cuz maybe she thought it would make me feel better or if she didnt want to give too many details#or if she really truly was doing 'all right' but like what the fuck do you mean shes doing alright#like am i seriously sobbing on 1am walks around campus because i miss her and shes just doing alright????#like what the fuck#i really hope its mor ethan that because thats actually goign to break me#hres teh thing though like i dont doubt that she felt some sort of emotion cuz she was crying when we broke up and our entire relationship#she was so genuine about all of it but its also that annoying part of me thats like did she ever care#because how was she the one to tell me she wanted a relatoinship with me and how was she the one to tell me 'i love you first'#only to dump me not even 5 months later??? i just dont fucking understand any of it#im so fuckign confused about it all#all i can even hope for is that somehow she realizes she messed up and comes back to me and ill take her back immediately man#but she dosnt seem the kind to do that#i just wish i understood why she didnt want to give us even a CHANCE to fix whatever issues she thought we were havign#CUZ SHE NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANY ISSUES!!!! SO I DONT UNDERSTAND#LIKE SHE BROKE UP W ME OUT OF THE BLUE!!!! NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE???#unless her friend is lying when i asked about whether she seemed concerned#but still
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very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)
and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos
#yew branch#also i just missed a step on the stairs going down and ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow#i am now trapped on the couch until my back stops exploding at least a bit#upside tho is that the kittens are playing together on the couch#sometimes right on my lap!! theyre so so so so cute#i adore them#BUT YEAH i shall be drawing when i return home provided my back allows me to sit upright by that time#bc it sure isnt rn GDJSGJS#im sad ill have to go home tho.. these kittens are some of the cutest beasts alive#life is worth living because every day kittens are playing and having fun#i miiiiiiight be able to indirectly take one#one of my best friends might possibly be able/willing to take one and keep her with her own cat for me#until i move out of my parents house mid next year#so i might get to have... kitten that ive watched grow up from newborns...#the story behind these kittens is that one of my other best friends took in a stray and she turned out to be pregnant#and had these two!!#im also watching the three adult cats in this house but theyre not nearly as much of a handful#as can be imagined this friend is very tired of having 5 cats in the house regardless of how small two of them are GDJSVSN#which is very very understandable#i dont think i would want five cats unless i had a fairly large house. if i had a large house and plenty of free time most of each day#to give them play time and tons of affection#as well as the physical ability to keep up with them all#then id gladly have five cats#who knows maybe someday ill have a nice big house and plenty of spare time and my ddd will be under control#but that doesnt seem likely#aside from ddd being managed! because i have a pain relieving steroid injection tomorrow and then ill be starting physical therapy!!#im excited and i have a lot of hope for at least the physical therapy to help#PLUS THEY HAVE A POOL FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!!!!! AND I LOVE SWIMMING ESPECIALLY AS A GENTLE WORKOUT#and low impact things are very important for my body specifically i cant do high impact exercise or itll hurt me#plus i just love being in water i swear i was meant to be an aquatic elf from dnd
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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I accidentally won the Robin 50/50 im so. :'(
#I HAD ENOUGH FOR GUARANTEED BOOTHILL BUT SHE JUST HAD TO RUIN IT.#its over. actually.#HE ISNT COMING HOME NOW IM SO SAD.#oh this is not okay.#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE ROBIN.#this is the worst i hate this game.#I STILL HAVE ENOUGH FOR ONE MORE 5 STAR SO MAYBE???#i think i can get like. 59 warps in 15 days. so. this is fine actually.#I CAN USE ROBIN AND BOOTHILL....#AND AVENTURINE........#ok nvm im better but this actually hurts my soul so bad.#but also. this means im back now. so.#didnt even take 2 hours.......#but yk what this is fine bcz now i get both of them. so. :3#꒰ঌ♡ 𝟽𝟽𝟽.ramble
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i'm sorry i'm like. a good 6,000 words into writing a shane stardew valley fic atm
i had a screen-induced migraine and was forced to stay off the computer for two days but i was having stardew withdrawals I HAD TO DO SOMETHING
#i don't want this to be multi chapter is it going to be multi chapter idk#like. fuck it COULD be just one super long thing but#lkasjdfaklsdjf 5 chapters. maybe 5 chapters.#meeting/establishing/pivot/pining/dating/married/fixing that garbage 14 heart event/epilogue#ok that's 8 chapters but still#i literally filled 30+ notebook pages front and back over the weekend#i wrote for the better part of 12 hours and had to switch off to my left hand at some points bc my right hand hurt lol#i'm not ambidextrous but i can write semi-legibly with my left even though it's a hell of a lot slower#but THIS IS NOT THE SAD MAN I NEED TO BE FOCUSING ON I HAVE SO MANY OTHER SAD MEN FICS AWAITING UPDATES#why am i like this#epon rambles
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i will.... find a good workout routine this time.... i will spend way way way way way longer than necessary keeping it low intensity and focusing on building core muscles so i don’t hurt my back for the 5th time in 2 yrs... willing this into reality..😣
#it has been 2 years of me trying to go slower and lower intensity every time i start back up#and still straining my back and being stuck with the herniated disk pain on level 7 for 4-5 months#the worst part about having a chronic back injury is like#the only thing that makes the chronic back injury and pain better is regular exercise#and building up core muscles/muscles in general to prevent it from getting strained again#hopefully when i have consistent healthcare for longer than 6mo i can approach a dr about getting some pt#and maybe xrays to see just how bad it is#it feels bad#nothing helps except waiting#living in fear of the day waiting doesn't help anymore#personal stuff#whatever u do don't be me if u fall and hurt your back like immediately go to the dr and get it taken care of so it doesn't become a chronic#injury like what happened with me.... this could have been avoided if i could have gone to a dr instead of just bearing the pain
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i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex
#personal#fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm#ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot#after she was complaining about how mean we are to her#which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day#and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look#frumpy when we get dinner#and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what#5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ?#and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my#brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company#and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home#me#and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway#but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain#and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you#and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it#anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen
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Chronic pain really got me going to bed before it’s even dark out (also my little pink unicorn lights Millie got me look so cool in the second pic)
#my back and shoulder are killing me and I’ve done nothing but smoke weed and stretch and I just hurt so bad#so I’m gonna go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow#I work at nine again tomorrow so if anything hopefully going to bed early helps that#I’m excited to sleep hopefully a lot and hopefully really well bc 1) weed. 2) took sleepy cough meds to try and mooch extra pain reliever#out of meds in my cabinet. 3) took a back and muscle pain Aleve (even tho I hate taking pills and it took me like three whole min to get it#down my fucking throat. 4) tired from actually using my brain and anxiety from work tired#5) period tired and chronic pain tired#like guys my brain and my body are both exhausted and the idea of getting up tomorrow and doing any of it again makes me miserable and I did#nothing but sit at a computer for three and a half hours that’s itttttt#like doing two week road-trip then non stop either emotional or physical shit every day until my first day at work#like I’m already setting myself up for this to be the summer of the grind#gonna make a bunch of money (and spend too much and blame it on the summer time and needing a little treat every time I venture out into the#heat or work a day or do anything at all) and then save a bunch all fall winter spring and once it gets colder and I feel like I can handle#my job more I want to focus on how to make moving out happen. like I need to figure out if maybe there’s somewhere I want to live that has#an Office Depot I could transfer to cause office depots are everywhere and maybe that’s an added way for me to figure out where I want to#move#hmmm okay I’m gonna lay in bed on google maps looking at Office Depot locations in New England and I’m just gonna daydream and try to fall#asleep and I’ll look at / add to my Pinterest board of house and apartment inspo#going to think about the future because I want to live !!!!#anyways yeah this is the summer of being miserable and spending all my money on bullshit and daydreaming and disappointing my mother#and also the summer of my weed tolerance doubling forever until I’m back to smoking constantly to the point where I’m making myself sick and#then I’ll get sick of smoking weed for a bit and that’ll lead me into saving money again#or force me into a tolerance break where I stop buying weed#either way I’m going to smoke all summer it’s gonna be weed and sweat and fresh fruit and laying in my room during all of my days off and it#it’s gonna suck and I’m gonna be thinking about my dad the whole time and it’ll be depressing and isolating and lonely and I’ll come out of#the summer recentered and motivated towards big goals again like I always am#and then I’ll crash and burn next spring as always. cycles continue forever thank u seasonal depression.#I want to grow up and mature in the ways I deal with myself my health and advocating for my mental health I feel like I need to grow up a#bit so I hope I do that and it feels good. I hope I make friends and I can daydream about the future every night and my room will smell like#weed and incense and sweat and love and tears and it will be incredible
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Juan Carlos doesn’t believe me that we’re a couple. I know, Pablo doesn’t believe me, either. That’s why I think you should move in with me, that way they would have no choice but to believe us. [beat] I’m sorry, I know I was insensitive. I know you were really excited about Ferrán and you’re having a really hard time letting him go. But we have two very important reasons. We can’t split them up. We’re a family, regardless of who likes it. I know it’s been really hard for both of us having to lie to the people we love the most. Remember when our only choice was to be apart for a year. Yes, you’re right. I owe you an apology, too. I am willing to stick to the plan for our family. Thank you. I promise not to try to control everything and to trust you.
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#gotta say I did not expect the show to keep ferrán around#but real talk I can't imagine how they would have sustained 10 episodes' worth of plot without him#like what ana and mariana would have just been free to fake date and fall in love in the process (maybe) with no conflict whatsoever?#jc looking for proof that they're lying wouldn't even have been a problem anymore bc it would've soon become clear that they weren't lying#and the plot would have ended by episode 5#this way at least they both have some source of conflict#ana with possibly developing feelings for mariana while mariana is still into ferrán (a classic)#and mariana with having to keep up a fake relationship while hiding her real relationship from ana and from everyone#this is just a much more interesting setup for me idk#so I'll just be here at my table for one looking forward for all those bombshells to finally drop#anyway back to this scene I like that despite mariana being the more hesitant one of the two#ana doesn't have to strong-arm her just give her an impassioned plea emphasizing '''their''' family (don't you just love the sound of that?)#and mariana suddenly doesn't sound so hesitant anymore#and I also love how no matter what ana says (especially when it's in the heat of the moment and it hurts mariana on some level)#she immediately apologizes to her and makes it clear that she understands mariana's side#it's just been SO consistent since season 1 and it makes me so happy to see it#it's part of what makes their relationship so enjoyable to watch even when there's not supposed to be shippy undertones
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I ffeel sick.
#at 10am i ate a breakfast taco. i do this most mornings#but this time one of the egs i used was cracked but i just bought the carton a couple days ago & it wasnt cracked then#so i thought it'd be fine probably. i also added bacon to the taco & i literally never eat pork#i think between both of those things ive got indigestion. i woke up at 2:45pm nauseated as all fucking hell#ever since i woke up ive been actively trying not to hurl & it feels like its STILL sitting in my stomach. its just about 6pm now#i felt a little better for a good 30 minutes or so & it kinda felt like it was moving along but then i drank like a half cup (if that)#of chicken broth cause i figured it would help settle my stomach. i also took like 3 sips of powerade. mistake#my stomach has fucking hurt again for an hour now & im still literally fighting back the urge to frow up#i feel like maybe if i just let myself then maybe i'll feel so much better but i really really dont want to#but if i dont feel better idk if i can work tonight like this and theres literally no one who can cover my shift#i have to get ready for work in 4 hours. i only got like 5 hours of sleep & i have to bathe the dog#idk if i can though bc she still reeks of skunk & im so nauseated that i'd probably hurl bathing her#ask to tag#emetophobia#whyyyyyyyyyyyy#heyitslapis rambles
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