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lokischocolatefountain · 10 months ago

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Warning || Men Like Me

Masterlist

Fandom: The Last of Us Pairing: Joel Miller x Virgin!Reader Rating: 18+ Warnings: girth age gap, virgin!reader, eventual loss of virginity (not in this chapter), gratuitous descriptions of Joel Miller's body, somewhat creepy!Joel, fetishization of youth, dom!Joel, breaking and entering, playboy magazine, objectification, fingering, sexual discoveries. Word count: 6.2k Summary: Joel's warnings about what men like him would do to girls like you only makes you want him more. A/N: Back in the depths of hell again, you guys. Now this isn't the most depraved thing I've written by any means but it's up there. Come say hi in my chat or inbox, I'd love to talk. Keep a look out for follow up parts and pleeeeease give me comments. I am very very desperate.

Joel Miller was a bad man. That much he knew.

Even as he fixed taps and renovated houses that were falling apart, he could see the blood on his hands. The very hands that packed lunches for Ellie snapped necks, pistol whipped men, stole from a starving child so he could feed his grown brother. But there were lows even he didn’t stoop down to.

Not that he didn’t have the opportunity. Men always did. And in this world, opportunities had only tripled. Even the Boston QZ, as strict as it was, had an underground brothel. He knew Tess to frequent it and never asked questions. Sometimes she needed to bury her face between a good pair of thighs and wrap her lips around a pretty pussy, and this wasn’t something he could give her. There was a lot he couldn’t give her.

Being in Jackson should’ve civilized him. It did in many ways. He’d reverted to the southern gentleman with table manners. ‘Yes, Ma’am’ spilled out of his lips effortlessly when he spoke to women. He held the door for anyone walking in after him. He even went to Church– sorry, the multifaith house of worship–to help renovate.

That was where his troubles began.

There was no point in him going where people prayed. Being back in civilization did not erase his decades of disbelief in a cruel God who would take his baby and keep him on this accursed Earth. But he did because he was back to being a contractor and Tommy asked him to go fix up the pews instead of him. He didn’t have much time, being a new dad and all.

He was on his knees checking out the rotting wood and evaluating how much wood he’d need for building new ones when he was confronted by a pair of legs and a sweet voice. Yours.

“Lemonade, Mister Miller?”

He looked up, his eyes traveling up your legs, bare until he got to your knees where the hem of your flowery skirt sat. Pure, unblemished knees, never taken a fall, didn’t fucking creak, and never knelt before anyone but God. You looked down sweetly, eyes wide and innocent like a newborn cow. Everyone had a kind of darkness about them in this world. Everyone except the kids who didn’t know a world outside the insular walls of Jackson. And you, it turned out, even though you weren’t a kid.

He wiped his sweat off with the greasy rag he carried and looked up at you once again. You had a pitcher and an empty glass in your hands. A sweet smile on your lips and hair falling down your shoulders and reaching your breasts. A yellow ribbon sat in a bow where your neckline dipped between your breasts, adding to the innocence of your look.

“Yes please, Ma’am. Thank you,” he said, giving you a nod. Your pretty plush lips curled up, a giggle escaping them as you poured him a glass of lemonade.

His hand brushed against yours as he accepted the glass, his hand too large to curl around it without making contact with you. You giggled again before retracting your hand and occupying it with adjusting your hair.

“I’m younger than you, you know? Don’t have to call me Ma’am.”

“Just being polite. Ma’am.” He took the glass to his lips, mindful to take only a small sip instead of downing it in desperation. Another adjustment to make when food was no longer a scarcity. Sweet, sour, and salty danced on his tongue before it glided down his throat. Just a sip refreshed him. And the sight of a nice girl didn’t hurt the cause either.

It’d been so long since he had a nice refreshing glass of lemonade. Summers meant worse infestations of infected, not the barbecues, lemonades, and swimming of past. When surviving each hour was under threat, small luxuries like this became out of reach of even one’s dreams.

“Well, guess I should call you Sir then,” you said, leaning against the wall. You held the pitcher up to your chest and the tails of the ribbon on your chest dipped into it, the soft shiny yellow turning dark, tainted.

His mouth watered and fucking hell, it wasn’t the lemonade you just gave him. He took a sip of the drink and licked his lips, imagining how you’d taste if he wrapped his large hand around your neck and pressed his chapped lips to your plush ones. Better yet, if he held your legs apart and devoured you other pair of lips until you were leaking down his mouth. Would you call him Sir then? His cock twitched in his jeans as he pictured you bent over one of these pews, your skirt pushed up and his hand in your hair as he slid his cock in your hole.

Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Made the lemonade yourself?” He asked, groaning as he managed to get himself back up on his feet. His knees creaked like the floorboards of the houses he renovated, but ultimately supported him as he stood. He towered over you, making you appear smaller, more fragile.

“Depends. Do you like it?”

“It’s wonderful, of course. Hot summer day like this…I really needed it,” he said, raising the glass up a little before taking another sip.

“Well then yes, I did make it.”

He chuckled, feeling himself pulled in by your easy charisma. It was nice to have normal conversations like this once again. No agenda, no need for establishing himself as someone who wouldn’t hesitate to beat someone up if even mildly threatened. It was just…normal.

“It’s very sweet, Ma’am. Like you I assume,” he added, mentally dusting off the part of his brain where he stored skills for conversing with pretty girls.

You laughed, holding your free hand up to your mouth to cover your lips that widened and revealed your teeth.

“Is that the southern charm that I hear our townspeople talk about?”

“They talk about my charm? I didn’t hear.”

“Oh yes, they do… Joel Miller, charming pants off of everyone in town.”

“Pants? Well that’s disappointing. I was hoping I’d charmed some pretty skirts off.”

“Lots of experience with that, Mister Miller?” you asked, sliding your hand over the soft fabric of the skirt of your dress. Such delicate fabric. He could fist the hem and give it one tug and it’d rip right off.

“More ‘n what you got for sure,” he said, loath to hint at how infrequent his encounters had become in the recent past. Tess died, he did a cross country hike with an annoying kid, he needed to maintain a good reputation in his new town. One buried after the other. Enough to leave a man with nothing but his fist and his imagination. He would kill for a fucking Playboy magazine. Literally. He’d killed for less.

“What do you know about how experienced I am?”

“Been experiencing longer than you’ve been alive, Ma’am.”

“Oh well. Nothing I can’t learn.”

He laughed nervously and stuck his hand in his jeans pocket. Surely you couldn’t be flirting… Why would a young thing like this flirt with him? He was in his late fifties looking like mid sixties and you were… He didn’t know. Young.

“If you could teach me, Mister Miller. Give a girl some experience?”

“I’m sure you can find someone else.”

“Oh. Not your type, am I?” you asked, and he deluded himself thinking you sounded disappointed. No chance.

He didn’t have a type. Long time since he thought of frivolous shit like that. But you shouldn’t be his type.

“There’s much more eligible men in town is what I’m saying,” he said, suddenly hesitant to lie. Lying had never been an issue for him. The right thing was to lie, say you weren’t his type so he wouldn’t cross lines. It’d been a long time since he did the right thing.

“I’ll be the decider of that,” you said with a shrug of your shoulder before taking the empty glass from him. “Have a good rest of the work day, Mister Miller.”

Later that night, he wrapped his fist around his cock in the privacy of his room. His mind flooded with images of you spread out for him, sweet lips and a sweeter pussy milking him. He couldn’t even recall the last time he was with a woman. It was Tess, of course. Sometime before she got thrown in FEDRA jail for the last time. Too fucking long ago.

Surely it was only because it’d been a long time since he got his dick wet. He’d never, in his entire life, pictured a woman so much younger spreading her legs for him. Sucking his cock. Crying out his name. How old was she even? Not past mid twenties for sure.

It was wrong, he knew, as white hot spend spurted out of his cock and covered his hand. A sour tang took over his mouth as the fog of unadulterated lust cleared up to reveal the ugliness in his head. He shuddered, feeling like something had crawled under his flesh. He hadn’t felt guilt like this in so long.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You weren’t even as old as his kid would be had she been alive.

He’d known men like that back in the day. Grays in their hair and skin like old leather, but pretty young things old enough to be their daughter hanging off their arm. It was obvious that none of them kept these girls around for love or for their personality. It was always sex and the feeling of self-importance when a sweet young thing paid attention to balding heads, beer bellies and limp dicks that needed a blue pill to get up.

Fucking disgusting.

He began avoiding you whenever you happened to be in the same space. At the house of worship, the town clinic where you interned, trading days when people exchanged what they had for what they wanted. His eyes never met yours and he always quickly looked away when they stared too long at your uh…feminine features– pretty legs, cute ass, round tits. Where the fuck did you get sundresses anyway? Who kept that shit around in this world?

He didn’t know that when he avoided you, you took note of him. When he took glances of your features, you memorized his for later in the night when you buried your head in your pillow and pushed your fingers inside your pussy to simulate what it must be like to be with a man.

He was older. That much you knew from his grey hair, sun-damaged skin, and gait that exuded bone-deep weariness. You knew Tommy had just turned fifty. Hard to miss occasions that meant a free slice of cake from the canteen. Joel had to be in his mid-fifties at the very least. At first glance, he wasn’t what you’d consider handsome. There were younger men in town. Fit and muscular. Didn’t groan and scrunch up their faces when they got up. Didn’t have lines on their foreheads. No bags under their eyes.

Yet there was something about Joel that was more entrancing.

After your first meeting when you offered him lemonade, you made sure to visit under the guise of worship. You didn’t know much about religion and were conflicted about embracing a god. The only faith you had rested in your medical instruments and the medicines the town’s chemist concocted. But it was a nice place to meet people, to check on healing patients.

The visits were worth it for a glimpse of Joel’s large hands wrapped around his carpentry tools. When the sun was the hottest, he sometimes stripped down to his tank top, giving you a show better than any film played in the community theater. His broad back looked masculine enough in his flannel shirts. But you didn’t know desire like the first time you saw him in a white tank, showing off his muscular arms as sweat dripped down his tan skin.

When you pleasured yourself in your room, it took time, imagination, your fingers, and a lot of effort to make slick pool in your pussy. That day, all it took was the sight of Joel Miller working. You sat with your thighs pressed together, rubbing them against each other in the most inconspicuous little movements.

Could it be blasphemy if the God who was supposedly orchestrating everything made this man take his shirt off in front of you?

It made no fucking sense. Joel was old. He looked like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed every goddamn day. He had been chewed up and spat out by whatever the fuck was outside Jackson these days. Hardened expressions, graying patchy beard, hands calloused from carpentry and decades of using weaponry. Features that only indicated a long life lived, not attractiveness.

You were supposed to be attracted to the soft, sweet ones like the guys in the worn out copies of romance stories that the previous inhabitant of your house stashed in the basement. Even his little brother would be a more reasonable target for your lust. Younger, taller, softer, head full of dark, silky hair with few grays. But you wanted Joel Miller with his rough graying beard that would prick your skin were you to cup his cheek like the women on the novel covers.

Something about him just screamed Man. Something that none of the other guys in town had. There was nothing wrong with any of the other Jackson men, but none of them made you want to take the plunge and lose your virginity. It wasn’t the lack of offers, per se. You’d gotten looks from many eligible Jackson bachelors. You had drinks with a few of them. Dinner with fewer and shared a kiss with more than one. Alright, two. But anything beyond that had you trembling in anxiety.

It wasn’t anything precious to you, virginity. But you’d waited so long. Focused so long only on survival and then helping to build this town and now training to become a doctor. Whatever passed for doctor these days. With all your life dedicated to everything but your love life, you simply had no experience. What if you messed up and they laughed? You knew anatomy, but that didn’t translate to practical stuff. What if you couldn’t make them feel good? You’d have to see the guy all the damn time in the small town. There would be no escaping the awkwardness.

Sure it was counterintuitive to keep pushing away sexual encounters because you had no experience. But you didn’t know what else to do. You were too old already to not have done anything. But each day that passed with you rejecting perfectly nice men meant you were getting even older for your first time.

You didn’t know where Joel fit into your need for exploring your sexuality, but it didn’t hurt to stare. God knew everyone else in Jackson did.

So you stared. Work with his carpentry tools. Riding on horseback into Jackson after patrol. Helping with the fucking sheep. Walking around with Tommy. Carrying his nephew around town. It should be inappropriate to be fantasizing about a man when he was doing something as innocent as carrying a baby. But seeing his large hand cradling the baby’s little head made you want to scream into your pillow and kick your legs.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

Your heart fluttered and you let out a nervous laugh at being caught. You smoothed out the wrinkles on your clothes just to make it look like you were alright. Unfortunately you were wearing a pair of fucking jeans. You didn’t even want to know how awkward you looked.

“‘m alright, Mister Miller.”

“Joel’s fine,” he said, rocking his nephew in his arms.

Oh fuck, his fucking arms!

“Oh I don’t know,” you said, fidgeting with a belt loop on your jeans. “Wouldn’t want to be impolite addressing you by your first name like that.”

He smiled, recalling your conversation from the house of worship when you called him Sir and had him fucking himself in the shower to the memory. “Ah. ‘cause I’m an old man,” he said, more as a reminder to himself to fucking behave.

“You’re not that old…” you trailed, looking him over in a way that set fire to every inch of skin that you laid eyes on.

Behave, Miller. You’re out with your nephew.

“That so?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“Mhmm. You don’t look a day over seventy.”

He snorted, making Miles stir in his arms just a little. That stung a little. It shouldn’t. Your estimation of his age, whether you were serious or not, was reminder enough that he was too old to be lusting after you.

“Thanks. I’m actually eighty-two.”

You giggled your pretty little giggle, lowering your gaze to the ground and looking back up only when it had turned into a wide grin. “How old are you actually?”

“Old. Fifty six.”

“Fifty-six isn’t that old…” you trailed as you brought a hand up to his bicep. Joel gulped, praying to the non-existent God that you would stop before praying to the same God that you would keep your hand right there. God answered his second prayer. You squeezed, licked your lips and looked up at him with your doe eyes.

“Checking if the hardware is still working, Doctor?”

“I’m not a doctor yet.”

“When do you become one then? Ain’t no Harvard handing out medical degrees in this town.”

“Howard?” you asked, squinting at him. Ah, of course you didn’t know. Harvard didn’t mean the same thing to you. Now it was just like every other building in Boston. Run over by infected. These ones were just the nerdy kind with glasses on.

“That was a thing, too. But I said Harvard. They were big universities back then.”

“Ah. Did you go there?” You asked, with no malice or bite. Oh, bless your heart. No one expected a dummy like him to have gone to university at all, much less Harvard. No one in his family had gone. Sarah was meant to be the first.

“Yeah. Traded some oxy and threw molotovs at clickers in the campus.”

You rewarded him with a giggle and that was incentive enough for him to keep going. “Guys like me didn’t get into Harvard. Or Howard. Didn’t even go to community college. I finished high school and got a job in construction.”

“You didn’t go to uh…construction college?” You asked, cocking your head and raising an eyebrow as though testing out the term.

“No such thing. Well, there were civil engineering programs, but I just learned on the job.”

“Like me.”

“Guess so. I see you reading from all those fat medical books. But there’s no need to study any books in construction. ‘cept if you wanna be an engineer or architect or something, which I’m not.”

“Maybe you should write one. We could all do with some knowledge from before. It’s important to document it, pass it on to Ellie and little Miles over there.”

“I ain’t writing books, sweetheart. Don’t think I even remember how to write much. I’ll just keep to fixing things up in this town. So, if you need some help with your place…I’m happy to help.” It was the least he could do. Maybe as some kind of penance for having impure thoughts about you. Or as a fucked up trade for starring in the mental images he conjured to jack off in the shower.

“There is something, actually. But I don’t have anything to trade for, so I’ll wait until I do,” you said, clasping your hands behind your back and swaying in place in an endearing manner.

“Nonsense. You patched me up just last week. You’ve done enough for the town’s health to not have to trade for anything ever again.”

“Well, no. That’s not how it should be… It’s people’s health. Can’t put a price on that.”

“Believe it or not, health had a steep price back in the day. Cost four thousand something just to give birth. Double that if they had to cut you open.” And that was just how much it cost when Sarah was born. He was sure it had only gone up by 2003. If he hadn’t worked his ass off, there was no way he could’ve escaped debt. It helped that his Ma and his then wife’s parents helped with childcare. Would’ve been even more expensive without that.

“Damn. I don’t know how much that is, since…y’know we don’t have money now. But that sounds like a big number. It shouldn’t cost anything just to be born.”

“Tell me about it,” he said, shaking his head. “But listen. Anything you want fixed, I’ll help out. You can give me something later if you’re worried. I know Ellie’s always on the look for new books to read and you seem to have a lot of them.”

“Nothing Ellie would like. Not like the special limited edition of Savage Starlight or anything. Just medical textbooks and romance novels.”

“We could trade for the lemonade from that afternoon,” he insisted, desperate to do something for you. Take care of you as you took care of everyone who walked into the clinic be it papercuts or a fucking knife in their abdomen.

“Alright. Trade for the lemonade it is then,” you said, giving in to his pressure.

“Now tell me. What d’ya need fixed?”

⌘⌘⌘

It had been a few days since Joel promised to fix your shower for you. Each time he came by and rang your doorbell, you hid somewhere away from your windows. When he caught sight of you in public, you quickly walked away or engaged in conversation with someone else. You didn’t need shit fixed. Everything in your house was perfectly alright. Tommy and his guys had given the place a complete makeover just a couple months before Joel and Ellie arrived.

You were no paragon of honesty, but you didn’t make lying a habit. There were a few white lies here and there and this was meant to be one of them. It just didn’t fucking hit you that if you lied to a contractor that your shower was broken, he would eventually come over to fucking fix it. All your desperate sex starved brain wanted that day was for Joel Miller to come use his tools in your room and flex those muscles while at it.

So invested were you in that particular fantasy that as you unwound after a long shift at the clinic, it was with Joel’s beefy arms in mind. You stood in front of your mirror, taking in your reflection. One of the magazines you’d found in a box under your bed laid open on the dressing table. Playboy. Entertainment for Men. Each had a scantily clad woman on the cover. And many more inside.

You made comparisons to yourself and the woman in the center page of the issue.

She stood in front of a dressing table too, but much different from how you stood. Her legs were on either side of her dressing table chair and her hands on the top of it. Between her arms were breasts, big and round and with smooth skin. They didn’t have any marks on them like yours. No moles, no stretch marks. Just plain. And she just stood there, soft brown hair down, tickling the top of her breasts and her lips parted as she gazed at you. No, at the men she was meant to entertain in this men’s entertainment magazine. All she had on was panties that went high up to her flat belly that connected to high transparent socks.

You reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, wishing that you had something nicer like the woman on the cover of another one of the magazines. Bright red and showing off her breasts wonderfully, but pulled down to reveal almost everything. What was the point of a bra then if it didn’t cover or support anything? Entertainment, you decided. Men seemed to be very entertained by breasts.

Many a man had stared at yours even though you had them behind layers of fabric unlike the naked women of the magazines. Many had conversations with them instead of your face. Some brushed up against them ‘accidentally’. Joel thought he was being covert, but you felt his brown eyes rove all over them. You thought maybe that he too would brush up against it sometime, but he never did. Maybe entertainment stopped at just looking, as in the magazines.

You wondered if Joel sought out men’s entertainment magazines like this. He was from before everything went to shit, so it was very possible that he did. Did he like the women in these pages, sticking their asses out and looking through the pages at him? Would he be entertained if he saw you like this?

You didn’t know that if you turned your head to your bedroom door, you would have your answer. Joel’s cock strained against his already tight jeans as he stood awestruck by your figure. He swallowed as you held on to the top of the chair and lifted your knees, one after the other and placed them on the plush seat. You arched your back, a little too much at first before reducing the curve. Your ass stuck out enticingly and he didn’t know whether to grab, squeeze, slap, or spread your cheeks apart and fuck your ass.

He should leave.

It was stupid of him to walk into your house with a box of plumbing tools to fix your shower when you hadn’t yet given him a date or time for it. Plus you were avoiding him. Running away with your little friends and picking up stuff to hide your face from his view. He was plenty sure that when he’d rung your doorbell, you weren’t always away from home.

He should leave.

Fixing the shower could wait. He could confront you some other day.

But you were putting on such a pretty little show in nothing but your panties and he was only a man. A bad one.

His boots stayed put on your hardwood floors as you enjoyed yourself in front of the mirror. You spread your knees and let your fingers between your thighs, eyes closed, lips parted and low whines escaping your lips in just a few minutes. He palmed his growing erection over his jeans, consequences of being caught be damned. He was a foul beast already. What bad was another sin on the list? Besides, you were the one who’d left the fucking door open.

Your soft whimpers grew into moans as you brought yourself closer and he forced his feet to stay put despite their urge to walk up to you and give you something to really moan about.

“Fuu– mmm Joel, pleeease.”

He let out a gasp, all his restraint flying out the window as soon as he heard his name from your lips. You couldn’t actually be doing this… There had to be another Joel in town. Younger, better looking, smarter.

Your voice grew needy and the pitch higher as you kept at it. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Gimme it, Sir.”

No, it couldn’t be anyone else.

Joel toed his boots off and took quiet steps towards you, emboldened by the filth that spilled from your lips. If this old man was what you wanted, he wouldn’t stop himself from reaping the benefits. He wasn’t a goddamn saint. Never was.

He stopped in front of you, surprised you still hadn’t sensed his presence. As though the universe heard his thoughts, it had you open your eyes. You gasped as soon as you saw him and buckled off the chair, but Joel caught you. You shuddered, unable to cope with the sudden touch.

“J-Joel?”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he said, touching your cheek with the back of his hand. You whined, your body molding itself against his chest. You brought a hand to his arm, feeling the rock hard muscles underneath his sleeves and your other hand worked between your legs.

Your fingers no longer felt adequate as you felt his large fingers on your cheek. “Want you, please,” you whined, desperate to return to the edge where you had been right before you saw him.

“You don’t know what you’re asking of me…” he spoke dangerously, soft brown eyes clouded with a kind of desire you had longed to see in him for weeks.

“Want you…want you to be with me,” you repeated stupidly, your desperation clouding your senses too much for you to say anything else. While in the past you only wanted to get rid of your virginity, your goals had become more specific with his arrival. You wanted him. You wanted his big hands and broad shoulders, to hold on to them as you rode him. To watch his grumpy expressions turn to ecstasy under you.

“Tell me not to touch you,” he said, his tone low and almost threatening. Any other threat from him, you would’ve heeded. But not this one.

“Touch me!”

It was as though something in him snapped at your words. While darkness only loomed over him before, it now completely took over.The hand that previously only caressed your cheek now wrapped itself around your neck. Before you could completely process the move, his other hand slapped yours away. He replaced two of your puny fingers with his middle finger, eliciting a strained moan from you.

“Touching yourself to a Playboy magazine, huh?”

You only nodded, unable to form words now that a fantasy of yours had finally come to life.

“Dirty little thing…Thought you were a nice girl and all. Helpin’ out at the clinic, head buried in books all the time. Turns out you actually got your head in dirty magazines.”

You whined, your pussy clenching and gushing around his finger at the way he was speaking to you. The same man who insisted on calling you Ma’am despite your protests was calling you a dirty girl now. The veil of respectability seemed to have floated away at the sight of you naked and pleasuring yourself. Had you known that this was all you needed to get Joel Miller to touch you, you would’ve done it much sooner.

He added another finger, the girth of him enough to stretch you more than you had done for yourself. You brought a hand up to his shoulder and fisted his shirt, needing something to anchor yourself to.

“You ever been taken by a man, sweetheart?” He asked, his tone too cool and casual for what he was doing to you. You shuddered, partly from his phrasing– taken, he said. Taken. Like you were a thing. Like the women in the magazines positioned so uncomfortably just so their breasts could look a certain way for the picture. Printed on the cover page with the words Entertainment for Men written on top. You shook your head, feeling small as you confessed it for the first time.

“Any man?”

“N-no,” you managed to breathe out, whimpering at the way the bulge beneath his jeans twitched at your simple answer. He took a step to position himself behind you, letting you lean your back against his chest. The angle at which he touched your pussy changed, opening your world up to a wonderful new kind of pleasure.

“A virgin. Pretty young things like you ain’t for men like me,” he whispered in your neck, making you shiver. His thumb roamed between your legs as far as they could reach, caressed you gently, his softness with you contradicting his warning about men like him. The hand around your neck slithered down your torso, cold air forcing you to face your new desire of having your breath kept hostage.

He took your left breast in hand, squeezing the flesh like someone starved would hold on to a piece of bread. It felt more like a punctuation to the warning he issued than a part of sex. Just then, his thumb between your legs stopped its search, stopping a little above the fingers inside you.

A moan you didn’t recognize as yours at first filled the room and you buckled forward. Blunt nails sunk into the flesh of your breast as he saved you before you could fall. He hauled you back up, making you collide against his chest.

You gasped and quickly grabbed the hand between your legs, the sensation too intense for you to know what to do with. His thumb kept on, rolling over something there that set your person on fire.

“Fuuuck! Joel– I– I– hnnng–”

“I know, sweetheart,” he crooned, keeping at whatever the hell he was doing to make you feel this way.

“Please… I don’t– what was that?”

You felt his chest rumble before you heard his laughter. Heat rose to your face and your throat felt strained though there was no hand around it anymore.

“Never touched your clit? Do you even know what that is?” He mocked, the cruelty somehow not repelling you from him. He forced you to look up at him. Your heart lurched at how close you were to his face. You could see every gray hair, every minute blemish and line.

“Don’t know your own fucking body but you want a man? You don’t know what you’re handing me on a silver platter. I ain’t like the other guys in town. I walked across the fucking country and lemme tell ya, there’s no pretty things like you out there. I’m starved.”

“Take me, then,” you begged, using his own words from earlier. “Please. Whatever you– a-aaah!”

He ramped up the pressure on that spot– your clit– and with it, took your ability to speak coherently. It was as though he’d done it on purpose. You hated it. To be so bereft of control. To be a puppet in someone’s hand. For someone to acquaint themselves with parts of you that you didn’t know of. But it was too much to fight, so you let go. Let him play with you. Take you. Like a thing.

You renounced control of your lips too, his name slipping out effortlessly like it did when he caught you. Then you renounced what was left of your dignity and began begging relentlessly. For what, you didn’t know. In his hand, you’d gone from woman to pupper, your strings pulled by a man, your voice now his. Sounds that would be indiscernible from that of a wounded animal emanated from somewhere deep within you.

Perhaps none of this was real. Why else did your own voice grow so distant from you? Why did your vision become blurry? Your thighs shook uncontrollably and your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. Your eyes clenched shut, depriving you of your blurred vision. Your toes curled. You wanted to shrink into yourself, shrink away from all this goodness. You went higher and higher, soaring like a bird. Every nerve ending in your body felt electrified, awoken like one switch turned on every light on last winter’s Christmas tree.

You let out a loud cry, the soaring bird in you reaching its peak before beginning its fall to the ground. You could hear your breaths again, labored but doing everything to stabilize itself. Your thighs still shook. Your chest rose and fell. A hand caressed your hand. Behind you, something strong supported your back. Kept you from falling backward.

“Joel…”

“I know, I know…” he whispered into your head. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, surprised to see a softer visage. He picked you up off the chair like you’d seen him lift giant logs before. With ease. You didn’t protest as he carried you. Didn’t protest when he laid you out on your bed.

He bent down and picked something up. No questions, no instructions. He simply spread your leg away from the other. Cold air touched the gushing mess dripping out of you and you shivered, feeling a sudden need to cover yourself but unable to defy him. His hand was on your pussy again. His hardened, calloused fingers behind a soft fabric this time. He wiped upwards, collecting the mess he made out of you. When he lifted the fabric up, you realized it was your panties.

He tucked it into the pocket of his jeans and then looked back at your face, the intensity of his gaze making you want to run. Problem was your weak legs wouldn’t take you anywhere. You didn’t screw your eyes shut. You didn’t pull your blanket to conceal yourself. You looked back at him, defiant. Like you were trying to prove something. I can handle a man like you.

“Be a good girl from now.”

That and a condescending pat on your pussy and he was gone.

⌘

Part 2

#joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x oc #joel miller x original character #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller age gap #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou smut #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfic #all that i've inflicted on the world

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makeitmingi · 6 months ago

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The Babysitter Club [From: Our Shared Melody]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Wife!Reader, Daughter (Kim Hwayeon), IdolHusband!Hongjoong, IdolUncle!Ateez

Summary: When your work requires you to travel, Hongjoong insists that he is fine taking care of your daughter on his own, with the help of her chaotic uncles. You were hesitant at first, considering he has never really taken care of your daughter on his own before. But what's the worst that can happen... right?

Word count: 11.4K

[A/N: Sort of Part 2 to 'Our Shared Melody' But it can be read as a stand alone too!]

"Baby?" You spun around in slight surprise, seeing a half asleep Hongjoong shuffling out of your shared bedroom. He finds you standing in front of your open on board bag, gathering what you need last minute for your flight.

"What are you doing up? You should go back to sleep." You scolded softly. But he shook his head, shuffling all the way to you and wrapped his arms around you.

"Did you really think I wouldn't wake up to send you off? You already wouldn't let me send you to the airport." He mumbled.

"Because it's 4 am and you have work tomorrow, Joong." You chuckled, resting your cheek on his shoulder.

"You all packed and ready?" He asked, stroking your head. It took a while for you to answer. Well, you didn't really answer him, you just let out a small, barely audible hum.

"What's wrong?" Hongjoong knew you too well. He knew that something was wrong. It was written all over your face.

"I don't know if I should go... You know, maybe I should just tell my boss I can't make it." You pulled away from the hug to meet his eyes.

"Baby... It's fine, it's okay. Melody and I will be okay. It's only 2 days." He said, hand tucking a loose lock of hair behind your ear, as he spoke to you gently. Hongjoong didn't make fun of you for worrying, he understood you and comforted you, trying his best to soothe your worries and hesitation.

"But I've never been away from her before... Since birth." Your voice wavered slightly. It's not that you didn't trust Hongjoong. He was a great dad and was great with his daughter.

"I didn't expect me to have separation anxiety but it's really killing me." You whimpered.

"Oh, baby. It's okay." Hongjoong brought your head back down to his shoulder as he rubbed your back.

"She'll be the same in 2 days, I promise. I know it's not easy for you to leave." He murmured, planting little kisses along your cheek and your jaw line.

"I know but-"

"This is a great opportunity for you. Your boss is giving you this great responsibility and you'll be able to network there. We both know you've worked hard for such an opportunity." He said.

You usually work from home but your boss had asked you to take a short trip to Hong Kong to represent the company at a conference. This was the major break you needed in your job. But you've been stressing over the thought of leaving your daughter.

Hongjoong was the one that convinced you to go when you were leaning towards turning your boss down. He wanted you to look good for your boss and the company.

"You shouldn't be late. Your car is arriving soon. Go say bye to melody." He encouraged.

"Okay." You nodded, leaving Hongjoong's embrace. He stood in the living room to wait for you and give you some alone time.

Entering your daughter's room, you were careful not to disturb her rest. You leaned over the floor mattress she was sleeping on, pressing your nose to her cheek.

"I love you. I'll see you in 2 days." You whispered, inhaling her familiar, comforting scent before giving her a kiss.

"Aww, baby." Hongjoong pouted, cooing at you when you exited the room with tears in your eyes.

"It'll be okay." He patted your head. He cupped your cheeks, wiping your tears with his thumbs before giving you a kiss.

"I feel like you're teasing me now." You frowned.

"Wouldn't dare to. I'll bring melody to pick you up from the airport when you get back, hmm?" He rubbed your arm. You nodded with a grateful smile, throwing your arms around him to hug him tight. You knew you needed to leave or else you would never leave. While wearing your shoes, you saw Hongjoong wearing his slides.

"You don't have to walk me down. She could wake up and need you." You told Hongjoong but he was stubborn as ever.

"I'm taking care of my first baby. There's no way I'm letting you walk out on your own. It's so dark." He said, ignoring you and wheeling your luggages out to the lift lobby to wait for you.

"Thank you." You slipped your hand into his.

"That's my car." You checked your phone, pointing to the cab that was waiting.

"Good morning." The two of you greeted the driver. Of course, Hongjoong loaded your bags into the boot, not wanting you to do any of the lifting.

"Goodbye, baby. Have a safe flight and don't worry, okay? Call me." He hugged you tightly, giving you a long kiss.

"I will. Thanks, Hongjoong. If you need me, you know I'll come right back." You said.

"I know you will but it'll all be okay, I've got things covered. Good luck during the conference. I love you." He stroked your cheek with a smile of adoration and love. Gosh, Hongjoong really loves you so much and you love him too.

"I love you too, Joong. So much." You smiled. He opened the door to the backseat for you to enter. Once you were in, he closed the door. You blew him a kiss and waved to him as the cab drove off.

"Bye." He waved back, standing there until the cab disappeared down the driveway. After that, he went back up to your daughter.

Your daughter, Hwayeon, is now 18 months. She was everyone's princess, having everyone wrapped around her finger. And until now, Hongjoong still calls her 'melody'.

"Eugh..." When Hongjoong entered the house, he heard Hwayeon's soft whimpers and rushed over immediately.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, melody." He was by her side instantly, patting her tummy to soothe her.

"Appa is here." He laid beside her, propping his head up with his free hand, continuing to comfort her until her whimpers died down and she was lulled back to sleep.

This was a common occurance now with Hwayeon waking up in the middle of the night to look for you and Hongjoong. She was still getting used to sleeping on her own, in her own bed and in her own room. So usually, you or Hongjoong would go comfort her in her bed instead of bringing her to your bed.

"It's okay..." Soon, even the rhythm of the movement from Hongjoong patting her tummy made him fall asleep too.

"Hongjoong ah?" Seonghwa called out as he entered the house, looking for the captain, who has not been answering his phone since the morning.

Scratching his head, Seonghwa went to your bedroom, hoping to find the captain there but the bed was empty.

"Bah!" Having heard the soft, familiar voice of his goddaughter, Seonghwa went to her room.

"Oh. My love." Seonghwa saw the little girl sitting up on the mattress. She shakily toddled to Seonghwa and he immediately scooped her up into his arms. That was when Seonghwa found Hongjoong fast asleep in his daughter's bed.

"Yah, Kim Hongjoong. Wake up, you're late." He nudged the sleeping male with his foot. Hongjoong frowned slightly and peeked open an eye, seeing Seonghwa standing over him.

"Oh, Seonghwa... You're here..." Hongjoong yawned, stretching his arms over his head.

"I'm here because you're late. I've been trying to reach you the whole morning!" Seonghwa scolded. Now, that woke Hongjoong up,

"What?! My phone was left in my bedroom, I didn't hear my alarm or the calls come in." He shot up, running his fingers through his hair as he woke himself up.

"Don't curse with my godchild in the room." Seonghwa reminded. Hongjoong slapped a hand over his own mouth, nodding.

"Go get ready. I'll handle Hwayeon." Seonghwa said as he exited the room.

Luckily, Seonghwa knew what to do, having helped you and Hongjoong care for Hwayeon from the moment she was born. Since they've met and Seonghwa carried her for the first time, he's been such a fool for her. He claims that he didn't know the true meaning of love until Hwayeon came into his life.

And although the hanja characters of the 'Hwa' in their names are different, Seonghwa still liked to think of her as 'baby Hwa' like she was really his daughter.

"What a cute bunny." Seonghwa cooed as he dressed Hwayeon up in a fluffy bunny jacket that he bought.

"I knew you would look cute in it." He chuckled, even if she didn't understand him.

One more thing, Seonghwa loves to spoil Hwayeon, something you and Hongjoong discourage but Seonghwa says that Hwayeon was born for him to spoil. It was hard to argue with him.

"Bah!" She babbled, as if repeating after him with a bright smile.

"That's right, cutie" Seonghwa tapped her nose. With her resting on his hip, Seonghwa put together a bag for her.

"Shall we get you some snacks too?" He stood at the fridge, grabbing a yoghurt pouch for her then grabbed random snacks from the cupboard. He also filled a water bottle while Hongjoong grabbed a spare set of Hwayeon's clothes.

"Ah! Wait, a minute. Where is that-" Hongjoong disappeared into his work room, tripping over his own feet and almost falling, making Hwayeon laugh.

"Even your daughter is laughing at you." Seonghwa chuckled with a shake of his head.

"Alright, alright, we're already late. Let's go, melody." Hongjoong said, slipping his shoes on and holding Hwayeon for Seonghwa to wear his shoes. He carried her down to the carpark.

"I'll strap her in." Seonghwa said so Hongjoong could start the car. He climbed in to sit beside Hwayeon.

"So, she left last night?" Seonghwa asked. Hongjoong knew who he was referring to.

"Yeah. Almost didn't want to leave but I managed to convince her. I think she has more separation anxiety than melody. But I don't blame her... I just hope that melody wouldn't just look for her randomly..." Hongjoong sighed as he drove. Even saying your name might remind Hwayeon of you so he avoided it.

"Yeah, let's hope then. And it's a mother thing, Hwayeon was practically a part of her for 9 months." Seonghwa said, completely understanding you.

"Here you go." He handed Hwayeon a yoghurt pouch since they didn't have time to give her breakfast.

"I've got to get to my meeting when I arrive. Can you look after her first? I'll come get her when it's over." Hongjoong asked.

"Of course. Just text me later." Seonghwa replied, too focused on smiling at Hwayeon eat the yoghurt. Anything that she did, Seonghwa would find cute.

"Okay, we're here." Hongjoong parked the car.

"I love you, melody. I'll see you later, appa has to work. Be good for Hwa, alright?" He showered his daughter in kisses.

"Thanks, Hwa! Bye!" Tossing the keys to Seonghwa, Hongjoong ran into the building.

"Your appa is seriously something else." Seonghwa chuckled, shaking his head. He helped Hwayeon out of her car seat and retrieved her baby bag. Slinging it over his shoulders, he locked the car and walked into the lift lobby.

"There we go. Stay close, lovey." Once they were safely inside, Seonghwa put Hwayeon down to let her walk. Not having to worry about the cars.

"Seonghwa hyung! Did you manage to find Hongjo- And who is this adorable bunny?" Yunho grinned, bending down.

"Yu!" Hwayeon giggled and slowly waddled over to Yunho. She gripped onto the material of his sweats to steady herself.

"Hi~" Yunho cooed. When Hwayeon made grabby hands at Yunho, the taller didn't even hesitate, hoisting her up into his arms. The Ateez boys were all fools for the captain's little girl.

"Hongjoong was still asleep when I went to look for him. I think he slept with Hwayeon somewhere in the night so his phone was left in his room." Seonghwa explained.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that captain's on his own for the next few days." Yunho said, remembering the note you sent to the group chat.

"Mhmm, she left last night. So for the next two days, we'll need to help Joong out." Seonghwa nodded.

"Well, of course. We'll always be willing to take care of the little angel." Yunho laughed and tickled Hwayeon, making her giggle and squirm in Yunho's hold. Seonghwa smiled softly, seeing and hearing Hwayeon's laugh. Her happiness was just infectious. The 3 of them took the lift up to the artists' lounge

"Yunho ah, put her down. We should be encouraging her to walk more to build strength." Seonghwa said to the taller male.

"Hyung, please let me have this. Sooner or later, she's going to refuse to be carried by us. At least now, she still wants us so let me savour this moment." Yunho pouted.

Hwayeon had just learnt to walk so you wanted to try to encourage her to walk to build strength in her legs.

"You're unbelieveable." Seonghwa clicked his tongue.

Yunho continued to make funny face at Hwayeon. Even if she didn't understand what was going on, she laughed, holding onto Yunho's cheeks.

"Who else is here?" Seonghwa asked. Yunho shrugged. He balanced Hwayeon in one hand as he pushed open the door to the artists lounge and pantry.

"Is that my princess?" San, who was having his meal, stood up upon seeing Hwayeon. Yunho put Hwayeon down and he patiently waited for Hwayeon to make her way over to San. He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around San's neck.

"I've missed you." San carried her, speaking in a baby voice as he showered her in kisses. That sent her into another round of laughter. Hwayeon really was loved by all her uncles.

"You should continue eating." Yeosang said, bringing Hwayeon to his lap to sit so San could eat.

"She might still be hungry since we rushed out." Seonghwa said, opening a pack of snack puffs for Hwayeon to pick at.

"Can I have 1?" Yeosang asked. Hwayeon grasped one in her hand and placed it in Yeosang's hand. The male cooed and kissed the top of her head before eating.

"Is there anything else we can give her? She seems hungry." San asked.

"We only have snacks until Hongjoong gets her lunch." Seonghwa said. He

"Hongjoong's in a meeting so we have to watch her until he's done." Seonghwa informed, taking a cup of juice for himself from the fridge. He filled Hwayeon's sippy cup with the juice as well before handing it to her. Of course, Hwayeon had a sippy cup in the KQ pantry. She was there so often.

"Hey, everyone. Hey, bun." Mingi entered, having finished his workout session with the trainer in the gym. He went straight to get some cold water from the cooler.

"Mi." Hwayeon made a grabby hand at Mingi. Mingi chuckled, putting the water bottle down to lift Hwayeon up.

"He's sweaty." Yunho crinkled his nose.

I'm not sweaty. I changed my shirt after the workout was done." Mingi scoffed, taking another sip of water then closing the water bottle so he could carry Hwayeon properly.

"Hongjoong hyung's not around?" He asked. Seonghwa shook his head.

"Mam mam." Hwayeon pressed a fruit puff against Mingi's lips to let him eat it. He happily ate it, even if there wasn't much of a taste.

"That's my bun." Mingi chuckled. Their bond was close, Hwayeon having grown up in Hongjoong's studio with Mingi always around. Mingi wasn't a fan of children at first, not knowing how to act around them but Hwayeon was too cute to resist.

"You guys, stop carrying her so much. (y/n) said that Hwayeon is supposed to be walking more to ween her off being carried by us." Seonghwa scolded.

"Soon she won't even want us to carry her already, hyung. Let us have our moment." San said.

"That's what I said." Yunho agreed, poking Hwayeon to tickle her again. She laughed and tried to hide in the crook of Mingi's neck.

"Looks like Hongjoong's meeting is running late. I might need to head to my vocal lesson soon." Seonghwa said, checking his phone to see the text Hongjoong sent.

"Why don't you go ahead, hyung? We got it covered, we'll take her to Joong hyung later." San offered.

"Fine but no stealing her and running off elsewhere. She has to remain in KQ. If Hongjoong finds out and can't find her, he'll kill all of us. I'm serious, guys." Seonghwa threatened them. They have tried to take Hwayeon out before, which ended up in the news with reporters thinking Hwayeon was their kid, not Hongjoong's.

First, it was Seonghwa having Hwayeon's picture as his wallpaper and showing it to ATINY at the airport, gushing over how adorable she was. That made everyone think Hwayeon was his daughter.

Then, Wooyoung calls Hwayeon his 'baby' which made everyone think he had a daughter and was a single parent.

The last instance was Mingi being pictured holding Hwayeon while recording and he posted it on his social media, captioning 'my bun'.

So basically, Hongjoong got fed up and jealous that people thought Hwayeon was his member's daughter and not his so he didn't allow them to bring her out alone.

"Says the one that has been trying to kidnap her since she was born. You even tried to hide her in your jacket once as if (y/n) and Hongjoong hyung wouldn't notice." Yeosang pointed out.

"Hey, I can't help that my goddaughter is the cutest baby ever." Seonghwa shrugged, not even denying it, reaching out to pinch Hwayeon's cheeks. Hwayeon giggled shyly, placing her own hand over Seonghwa's.

"Be good for samchons, okay? Appa should come soon." Seonghwa smiled at her, running his fingers through her hair.

"Papa?" She tilted her head, not knowing what Seonghwa was saying.

"Yeah. I'll see you later, my love." Seonghwa hugged her, showering her in kisses while she clutched onto the material of his hoodie. He put her down and she climbed back onto Mingi's lap.

"Hyung, you're only going for vocal lessons. You're acting like you're not going to see her forever." San laughed.

"Shut it." Seonghwa whipped his head around to glare at San. But he waved to Hwayeon with a sweet smile and left. Hwayeon was not really sure what was going on.

But Hwayeon's bottom lip quivered, sending the remaining boys there into a panic. San picked her up, stroking her back to soothe her. Luckily, Mingi shook his wrists and successfully distracted her with the jingling sound of his bracelets. San set her back down in Mingi's lap as she fiddled with the bracelets around his wrists.

"See? You're okay, bun." Mingi comforted, patting her back as she leaned against his body like he was a chair. After that, San, Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi brought Hwayeon with them to the dance studio.

"There you go." Yunho set her down on the couch, giving her some toys that Seonghwa brought.

As the boys practiced, they all made sure to keep an eye out on Hwayeon, watching her through their practice room mirror.

"Take 5." San panted, laying on the ground and catching his breath. Hwayeon, who was bored of her toys, slipped down from the couch and stood over San, tilting her head in confusion.

"Sannie samchon going night night, bun." Yeosang chuckled while Yunho laughed.

"Wanna dance, princess?" San sat up, encouraging Hwayeon with a soft smile. Mingi played the music and Hwayeon bounced on her knees. The four uncles swooned, clapping and bobbing their heads with encouragement. Yunho had his phone to video the moment.

"Go, bun!" Mingi, the hype man, cheered Hwayeon on. Hwayeon smiled, looking at the three with excitement, jumping up and down. She held onto San's hand, being a little wobbly.

"Little dance prodigy." Yunho stroked her hair.

"Hongjoong hyung's done with his meeting. I'll bring her up to the studios since I'm meeting Eden hyung." Mingi said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Pack her stuff first." Yunho said, putting all her toys and belongings back into the baby bag.

"Aww, bye, princess." San opened his arms and Hwayeon gladly walked into them, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll miss you, pretty princess." Yeosang smiled, hugging her too.

"Bye, princess. Yuyu will see you later." Yunho gave Hwayeon a hug too. He tapped his cheek and Hwayeon leaned in to give him a peck, making him grin.

"Let's go, bun." Mingi called. Hwayeon walked in front of Mingi as they headed up to the studio floor. They took their time, Mingi slowly walking beside Hwayeon, not wanting to rush her.

"Look who is at the studio today. Hello~" They ran into Maddox. Maddox was another familiar face to Hwayeon. But she shyly clutched onto Mingi's pant leg. Mingi continued to lead her to Hongjoong's studio. He knocked on the door.

"Ap... pa!" Hwayeon beamed, happy to see her dad come to the door.

"Hello, my melody." Hongjoong bent down to pick her up. Hwayeon immediately wrapped her arms around Hongjoong's neck. No one beats her dad.

"Thanks for looking after her and bringing her up, Mingi ah." Hongjoong said, taking Hwayeon's bag from the taller.

"No problem, hyung. We're always happy to take care of her. She had fun at the dance studio." Mingi grinned.

"Did you?" Hongjoong asked Hwayeon, tickling her.

"She might be hungry though, hyung. We didn't give her lunch but Hwa hyung gave her some snacks. Although it's not enough for a meal." Mingi informed.

"Alright, I'll order her some food before going back to work. Thanks, man. Say bye to Mingi samchon, melody." Hongjoong told Hwayeon. Hearing that another one of her uncles was leaving, she pouted and whined, shaking her head. She tried to reach out to Mingi again but Hongjoong held her away.

"Aww, bun. I'll be back to see you later, alright? I promise." Mingi pouted at her sad face, feeling guilty for leaving her.

"Mi." Hwayeon began to cry. Mingi grew conflicted but Hongjoong nodded at him to just leave.

"I'm sorry. Bye, bun." Mingi tapped her cheek before leaving to his meeting with Eden. Hongjoong closed his studio door with his foot as Hwayeon whined.

"Aww, melody. You just wanted to play with Mingi samchon?" Hongjoong cooed, wiping her tears.

"It's okay, melody. We'll see him later at dinner." He comforted her as he set Hwayeon's bag down in the corner.

"Appa is here, sweet girl." He whispered, kissing her temple. Sitting back down in his chair, He che let Hwayeon's body lean on his as he opened the delivery app.

"Let's get you some food and then a nap. You're probably tired, melody." Hongjoong brushed her hair back.

The food came and Hongjoong tried his best to feed Hwayeon so she wouldn't make a mess in his studio. It was rather successful actually, Hwayeon was too hungry to try and steal the spoon form Hongjoong. But he knew you would kill him if you knew.

You were trying to help Hwayeon develop more independent skills, as recommended by the paediatrician. But Hongjoong liked his little girl depending on him and didn't want her to grow up.

"You eat so well~" Hongjoong praised, wiping her mouth as she ate the last bite.

When she chewed, Hongjoong took the opportunity to take a bite of his food too. He wasn't that hungry since he was focused on her.

"All done!" Hongjoong cheered, making Hwayeon laugh. While watching her, Hongjoong began to clear up the area, throwing the trash into the plastic bag.

"Let's go." He lifted her up to bring her with him to put the trash outside.

"Alright. You can do some doodling." Hongjoong set up Hwayeon's drawing pad and crayons for her to doodle.

He let her draw and play with her toys until he noticed her showing signs of sleepiness. She rubbed her eyes with her hands and yawned as she doodled. Plus, this was the time she usually had her first nap of the day. But like every other child, Hwayeon wasn't a fan of being told it was nap time.

"Melody~" Hongjoong called out softly. Hwayeon lifted her head to look at her father. Hongjoong wheeled his chair over to her and patted his lap.

"Come to appa." He offered, lifting up the stuffed puppy that she has slept with since she was a baby.

"Mmm." She nodded, opening her arms so Hongjoong could lift her up onto his lap. She grasped the puppy, hugging it to her chest.

Another trait Hwayeon, fortunately, inherited from her father is his ability to sleep anywhere. So in a few minutes, Hwayeon was passed out in Hongjoong's hold, her body leaning against his.

"I love you." He kissed the top of her head softly. Hongjoong kept her there for a while, wanting to hold her close, before laying her on the couch.

'HOW'S MY BABY?! - (y/n)'

'Hello to you too, wifey. I'm doing great, thanks for asking. - Joongie'

'Good to know. How's my baby? Is she okay? - (y/n)'

'Yes, baby. Melody is fine, I just put her down for her nap after she had lunch. She's been great, soaking up the love and attention as the princess of KQ. Honestly, I think her samchons are having a greater time than she is. - Joongie'

'That's great to hear. I knew you could do it, Joong. And I was kidding, I miss you too. A lot. - (y/n)'

'I know. I miss you too, baby. But we'll see you in a couple days. I'm gonna work until melody wakes up. All the best for your conference. - Joongie'

"Hu..." Hwayeon fussed, whimpering in her sleep. Hongjoong put his headphones down and rushed to Hwayeon.

"Shh, it's okay, melody." He rubbed her back but she still continued to squirm around.

"Come here, melody." Hongjoong moved her to his lap again, adjusting his chair so he was in a leaned back position. He rubbed her back until she was soothed and back to sleep.

With the sleeping child on him, Hongjoong tried to wheel himself as close to the table so he could reach around Hwayeon to his keyboard.

'Let yourself in later. Melody is sleeping on me. - Hongjoong'

'Need me to take over? - Seonghwa'

'I'm good for now, I'm just working on my own stuff. But when Maddox comes for guide recordings, I'll need you to take her for her second nap if that's okay? I'm worried about the noise - Hongjoong'

Seeing Seonghwa react with a thumbs up emoji, Hongjoong put his phone down and went back to work. He was really grateful Seonghwa could help him, the latter was better with children than Hongjoong was. Seonghwa was proactive but knew Hongjoong too, he knew when to help and when to take a step back.

"Ap...pa..." Luckily Hongjoong only wore his headphones over one ear so he could hear Hwayeon slowly wake up from her nap.

"Good morning, melody. Aww, it's okay." He cooed and picked her up, rubbing her back to soothe her. Hongjoong felt Hwayeon bury her face into his shoulder while his hand cradled her.

"Mama..." Hwayeon whimpered.

"It's alright, melody. It's appa, it's okay." He comforted. Hwayeon frowned a little, recognising her dad.

"See, it's appa?" She wrapped her arms around his neck. He hummed and walked around his studio until she was calm. She yawned, resting her chin on Hongjoong's shoulder.

"Let's go wash up a little, hmm?" Leaving his things, Hongjoong grabbed the baby bag and went to the bathroom.

"Did you sleep well, my melody?" He cooed as he wet one of her baby towels to wipe her face. She grinned at Hongjoong in reply. Hongjoong smiled, kissing the top of her head. Then he changed her diaper and gave her fresh clothes.

"Since Hwayeon didn't want to be let down yet, Hongjoong held her in his arms.

"Is that my baby?!" A loud yell was heard in the hallway, making Hongjoong turn around and Hwayeon lift her head.

"Ah! My baby!" Wooyoung grinned excitedly.

"Wooyoung, she just-" Before Hongjoong could say anything, Wooyoung took Hwayeon into his arms. Wooyoung was another one that children just naturally liked.

"Ooh, you missed Wooyo samchon? I missed you too, my baby." He snuggled her and kissed her cheek.

"She just woke up so she may be fussy." Hongjoong sighed, patting Hwayeon's back as she latched onto Wooyoung.

"Nonsense. My baby is never fussy." Wooyoung scoffed. He followed Hongjoong back into his studio, sitting down on the couch with Hwayeon in his lap. Even if he acted playful, Wooyoung was also very attentive and careful when it came to caring for Hwayeon, as well as her growth and development.

"Mmmmm." Hwayeon whined, tired of Wooyoung's hold on her. Hongjoong smirked proudly and moved Hwayeon onto his lap, rubbing her back to soothe her.

"There, there, melody." He kissed the top of her head. But Hwayeon was restless.

"What's wrong, melody? Hmm?" Hongjoong asked her.

"Baby, shall we go find the other samchons?" Wooyoung sat forward, offering to help Hongjoong with the fussy child. Hwayeon peeked an eye open to look at Wooyoung, seemingly interested.

"Hwa's coming to get her soon before my meeting with Maddox." Hongjoong informed.

"I heard the baby bear was here?" Jongho poked his head in.

"Look who it is, melody. Jongho samchon." Hongjoong patted Hwayeon's back to try and get her excited but Hwayeon was just not in a social mood. She buried her face into her father's chest, as if wanting to hide from everyone.

"It's okay. Did she just wake up?" Jongho asked, stroking Hwayeon's back to comfort her. Hongjoong nodded in confirmation, still trying to settle Hwayeon.

"Alright, alright." Hongjoong stood up, walking around the place. Wooyoung took a video.

"I'm sending this to (y/n)." Wooyoung giggled.

"Send it to our group chat." Jongho leaned in. Hongjoong leaned in to see Wooyoung's phone, realising that there was a group chat with a title he has never heard of.

"Wait, are you guys in a group chat with my wife, without me?" Hongjoong's eyes widened as he paced with Hwayeon.

"Yeah, there are multiple." Wooyoung admitted with a shrug. Jongho punched his shoulder.

"Multiple?!" Hongjoong tried not to yell. He didn't want to scare Hwayeon.

"They're just group chats, captain. There's one with me, Seonghwa hyung and (y/n). Then there's one with all of us and her, without you. That's the most active one." Wooyoung tried to remember off the top of his head. He enjoyed seeing Hongjoong annoyed while Jongho sighed with a shake of his head.

"You're gonna hate this even more. There's one with her, San and Yunho called '(y/n)'s favourites'. The rest of us have been trying to get into that chat forever." Wooyoung smirked.

"That... is true. It is highly coveted to get in. Yeosang hyung was a temporary member before." Jongho conceeded and nodded glumly.

"If Hwayeon wasn't here now..." Hongjoong threatened.

"Yeah, (y/n) said no cursing around baby, hyung." Wooyoung teased. Jongho laughed. Hwayeon was soon soothed, leaning on her father's shoulder but clutching his shirt.

"Is this... normal for her?" Jongho asked with worry, gesturing to Hwayeon's behaviour.

"Separation anxiety starts around 18 months so that's about now. Plus she just woke up not too long ago. It's normal." Hongjoong said.

"Ah, well I've got to go for dance. I'll see you at dinner, baby." Wooyoung kissed Hwayeon's hand. Despite clinging to her father, Hwayeon still managed to shoot Wooyoung a tiny wave, making the male coo and wave back at her.

"Alright, I'm here. Hi, my love." Seonghwa entered the studio. He stopped when he saw her clutching tightly onto Hongjoong's shirt as the captain paced along his studio.

"Separation anxiety." Jongho explained. Seonghwa nodded, you have told him about this before.

"She was like this when Mingi dropped her off too. I think it's hard on her with all the goodbyes." Hongjoong said.

"Aww, my sweet love" Seonghwa pouted and kissed Hwayeon's head. She lifted her head and looked at Seonghwa, who smiled softly at her. She babbled at him, as if greeting him.

"Hi~" He smiled.

"Stay with Hwa for a bit, okay melody? I'll come pick you later." Hongjoong said, starting to peel Hwayeon off him.

"Euh..." Hwayeon began to whine, clutching onto Hongjoong tightly when Seonghwa tried to take Hwayeon. Hongjoong had to gently remove Hwayeon's grip on him, making her burst into tears. Seonghwa held onto her in case she fell from his hold but it broke Hongjoong's heart to see her reach out for him.

"I can't. I'm sorry, melody." Hongjoong took Hwayeon back into his arms but she was inconsolable.

"Sorry, Jong. Why don't you go ahead with Maddox? Tell him I'll reschedule and catch up with him later." Hongjoong frowned slightly, starting to feel stressed.

"Sure, hyung. Don't worry about it." Jongho sent a small smile and left the studio.

"Shh, shh, melody. It's okay, it's okay. My sweet melody." Hongjoong held Hwayeon as she continued to wail.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Hongjoong continued to bounce Hwayeon in his arms to soothe her. It made his chest ache at how Hwayeon cried and how he didn't know what to do.

Seonghwa watched Hwayeon cry, feeling his heart break as well. He wanted to help Hongjoong but he didn't want to overstep and make Hongjoong more stress or even risk making Hwayeon more stressed. But also, he didn't really know what to do.

"Appa is here, melody. Papa Hwa is here too, it's okay." Hongjoong said. Seonghwa took that as his cue.

"Oh, my love, see? It's papa Hwa." Seonghwa said, stroking Hwayeon's hair back as it stuck to her forehead from the sweat. He wiped the tears from her face.

"My sweet melody." Hongjoong kissed her temple, feeling her calm down. Her cries reduced to soft sniffles and heavy breathing.

"Here, my love." Seonghwa held the waterbottle out to Hwayeon and she sipped from the straw.

"Good girl." He smiled softly. Even with Hwayeon calmed down, Seonghwa didn't attempt to move Hwayeon to his hold, both her and Hongjoong needed to calm each other down.

"Papa." Hwayeon grasped Seonghwa's hand.

"Take 5." Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoong's shoulder as Hwayeon moved into his hold. As Seonghwa moved out of the studio to let some fresh air in, he walked up and down the hallway with Hwayeon in his arms. From the corner of his eye, he watched Hongjoong bury his head in his hands.

"Love, look at papa." Seonghwa said and Hwayeon lifted her head to look at him. He pressed his hand to Hwayeon's forehead, letting out a sigh of relief. At least she didn't cry herself sick.

"Come on." He brought her to the bathroom to wipe her face and to cool her face down.

"Oh, that's cold! So cold~" Seonghwa playfully pressed the cold towel to her cheeks, making her cackle and squirm.

"Let's go find your appa." He put her down and she walked in front of Seonghwa, somehow knowing the way to her father's studio.

Seonghwa saw the red rimming Hongjoong's eyes, evidence that the captain shed some tears of his own. It would have been stressful for anyone, having your kid wail and cry for nearly 30 minutes.

"Good?" Seonghwa asked.

"Yeah, thanks." Hongjoong took a deep breath. He would always put a smile on for Hwayeon. She toddled forward, holding her father's calves, as he stayed seated on the couch, and burying her face against his knees.

"You were overwhelmed, hmm? It's okay. Me too." Hongjoong smiled softly, carrying Hwayeon onto his lap. Seonghwa went to fix a snack plate for both father and daughter.

"There we go." Seonghwa placed the fork into Hwayeon's hand to train her to feed herself using utensils.

"No, my love. Like this... I swear you're gonna hold your fork like your father." Seonghwa sighed.

"Hey!" Hongjoong exclaimed, offended.

"Your studio is soundproof but I swear I could hear bun crying from next door." Mingi poked his head in. He bent down in front of Hwayeon, giving her a little wave.

"She had a little moment just now. But it's all good." Hongjoong spoke softly. Mingi nodded with a small hum.

"Hey, bun. Told you I'll be back." He tapped her cheek, making her squirm shyly. Hongjoong guided Hwayeon's hand to stab a piece of banana and she clumsily brought it to her mouth. When she successfully put it in her mouth, all 3 adults present cheered and clapped for her.

"My bun is a genius." Mingi praised. Hwayeon smiled, happily soaking in all the attention and praised.

"Papa." Hwayeon grasped one of her vegetable crackers, holding it out to Seonghwa like she did with Mingi earlier. Seonghwa gladly ate the cracker, stroking her head.

"Thank you, love. You're so kind." He grinned.

"What about me, bun?" Mingi pointed to himself. Hwayeon grinned and grabbed one, putting it against Mingi's lips.

"Yah! Stop stealing my daughter's snacks." Hongjoong scolded, using his fingers to push Mingi's forehead until he fell down from his squatting position.

"Hyung, no violence around bun." Mingi wagged his finger.

"Bun!" Hwayeon exclaimed, raising her fork in the air. Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Mingi stared at each other with wide eyes. Even though Hwayeon had said her first words and could say simple words, that was the first time she said 'bun'.

"That's right... You're my bun..." Mingi smiled softly as he felt tears start to form in his eyes. Seonghwa held Hwayeon's plate and Hongjoong put her down on the ground.

"Go give Mingi samchon a hug." Seonghwa whispered. Hwayeon giggled and toddled forward, falling into Mingi's arms.

"Bun!" Hwayeon giggled as Mingi wrapped his long arms around Hwayeon.

"The power melody holds over all of you." Hongjoong shook his head with a laugh and went to sit in his chair.

"Don't say it like you aren't one of us." Seonghwa rolled his eyes. With Hwayeon in a much better mood, Seonghwa and Mingi were able to lead her away for Hongjoong to get some work done.

"Look who is okay and happy." Wooyoung came over, cooing.

"You guys have a little bit of time to play before her second nap." Seonghwa said.

They went back to the artists' lounge to play with Hwayeon. And of course, Yunho made sure that there is a box of Hwayeon's toys kept there. They did simple puzzles and played with blocks. Only when Wooyoung noticed that Hwayeon was showing signs of being tired, he read a story to her.

"Let me set up a place for her to sleep." Seonghwa said and Mingi helped him. Hwayeon comfortably settled in Wooyoung's lap as he read to her.

"We should put her on the couch. It's the softest, even if we put floor mats down." Mingi told Seonghwa.

"Uh, I think that won't be necessary anymore." Wooyoung said softly.

"She's asleep?" Seonghwa asked. Wooyoung leaned down slightly to check and saw Hwayeon fast asleep, clutching onto her stuffed puppy. He hadn't even made it to the middle of the book.

"Just leave her like this, hyung." Wooyoung told Seonghwa. Mingi draped a blanket over her.

"Hey, guys-"

"SHHHH!" Seonghwa, Mingi and Wooyoung scolded San, who was taken aback at the sudden reaction. That was when Wooyoung pointed to the sleeping Hwayeon in his hold.

"Oh, sorry." San apologised. One by one, the other Ateez boys came to join, except Hongjoong, sitting together in the dark and eventually falling asleep. Even though he was asleep, whenever Wooyoung felt Hwayeon stir, he would pat her back to soothe her back to sleep.

So imagine Hongjoong's surprise when he came to look for everyone and found his members fast asleep, but in places around his daughter, as if protecting her.

'Look at them.'

Hongjoong took a picture and sent it to you. Just as he sent it to you, Hwayeon whined and woke up.

"Hi, melody. Did you have a good nap?" Hongjoong went to take her from Wooyoung's hold, hugging her to let her wake up.

"Yah, everyone. Wake up." Hongjoong said to the rest, turning on the lights as he went to the bathroom to change Hwayeon's diaper. He could hear the 7 groan at the bright light.

"Your silly samchons." Hongjoong chuckled. Hwayeon didn't understand but smiled, seeing her father laugh.

"Kim Hwayeon, why are you so cute? Hmm? Why are you so cute?" He cooed in a baby voice and tickled her, making her squeal with laughter. After putting her down, he washed his hands and walked with her back to the lounge. Jongho lifted Hwayeon up, raising her in the air, sending her into another round of laughter.

"Baby bear~" Jongho spun around and held her on his hip.

"You guys were supposed to be watching her. Not sleeping." Hongjoong scoffed, rolling his eyes. He showed them all the photo he took to send you.

"Aww, that's a cute photo though." Yunho giggled. Hongjoong checked his watch.

"It's a little early for dinner..." He thought out loud.

"It's okay, Hongjoong ah. I'm sure we can all eat now. Besides, little one should eat early and sleep early." Seonghwa said. The other boys nodded in agreement.

"What are we eating?" Yeosang asked.

"We should eat baeksuk. Hwayeon will like it and it's better for her." Wooyoung suggested, still mostly paying attention to San playing 'airplane' with Hwayeon.

"Okay, let's go everyone." Hongjoong clapped his hands. However, no one moved, too busy playing with Hwayeon to listen to the captain. Hongjoong let out a tired sigh of despair, marching forward and taking Hwayeon away.

"I'm confiscating melody! Since no one is listening to me." He glared at the boys who jeered back at him.

"Aww, party pooper." Jongho gave a thumbs down. Hongjoong rolled his eyes and ushered everyone downstairs. He put Hwayeon in her car seat.

"I can take one person in the back seat with melody and one person in the passenger seat. The rest, take the van." Hongjoong said.

"Ack! Hyung, no shoving!" Wooyoung yelled as Seonghwa shoved him and ran forward.

"Mingi?" Seonghwa blinked, surprised to see Mingi already in the backseat, playing with Hwayeon when he opened the door. Hwayeon was busy babbling at Mingi.

"You snooze you lose. I was already here the moment Hongjoong hyung put bun in her car seat." Mingi shrugged. Seonghwa sulked and sat in the passenger seat. He obviously wants to sit with his god daughter and 'being in the same car' is not enough fro him. The two watched the other members climb into the van.

"Okay, let's go. Ready, melody?" Hongjoong asked as he sat in the driver's seat and buckled his seatbelt.

"Ouh!" She cheered, raising her fists up, and Mingi copied her in cheering. She gave him a toothy grin, making Mingi melt.

"Why are you so cute, bun? Hmm? Why?" He lifted her stuffed puppy, playfully waving it around. Hwayeon let out a loud laugh and wrapped both arms around her puppy.

"She really loves that thing, wouldn't let (y/n) take it away to be washed..." Hongjoong chuckled.

"It's definitely seen better days." Seonghwa laughed.

"Pup-py. (멍멍이)" Mingi tapped the puppy's head. Hwayeon stopped hugging it, holding it an arm's length away to look at it. Mingi repeated the word again.

"Meo... meo-i." She tried her best to pronounce the word. It wasn't the most accurate but it was good enough for Mingi and the other two in the car. Seonghwa and Mingi clapped for Hwayeon and she clapped too.

"What a smart bun." Mingi cooed.

"You're never going to stop calling her bun, aren't you?" Hongjoong scoffed, shaking his head.

"Until the day I die~" Mingi replied, still playing with Hwayeon, letting her play with his rings. Hongjoong and you didn't only conceive your daughter but you conceived Ateez's daughter.

"Please don't talk about dying in front of her..." Seonghwa sighed.

"Why? Death is normal and inevitable." Mingi blinked in confusion, resulting in Seonghwa facepalming.

"Okay, we're here." Hongjoong pulled into the parking space. But as he was going to come out, Yeosang closed his door, trapping him in the car.

"Come on, baby." Wooyoung stole Hwayeon out of her carseat and brought her to the restaurant. They could hear Hongjoong yelling.

"Let him out, Yeo!" Wooyoung said once they were practically in the shop. Yeosang moved away and Hongjoong came out, yelling at the boys in disbelief. Hwayeon just blinked, tilting her head as she stared at Hongjoong lecturing and scolding the boys for trapping him in the car, stealing her and leaving him behind.

Hwayeon's bottom lip trembled before she burst out crying, burying her face in Wooyoung's chest, shocking all the boys and making Hongjoong stop his scolding.

"No, no, my love. He's not scolding you. It's okay. Come to papa." Seonghwa took Hwayeon into his arms to comfort her.

"Yah, look what you did, hyung!" Yunho frowned. Hongjoong gulped as he faced Hwayeon's angry uncles.

"If you guys didn't play around-"

"You scared bun!" Mingi pouted, seeing Seonghwa bringing Hwayeon outside to comfort her. Also, so her crying doesn't disrupt the other diners in the place.

"Ah, just go get the table." Hongjoong sighed, pinching his nose bridge as he went outside.

"I'm sorry, melody. I wasn't scolding you... Appa was too scary, right? I'm sorry." Hongjoong gently placed a hand on Hwayeon's back. Hongjoong gestured to Seonghwa to move Hwayeon to him. The taller male nodded and lifted Hwayeon off his shoulder.

"There we go. I'm so sorry, melody. I wasn't scolding you. You're a good girl, my sweet melody." Hongjoong put his hand on her head, guiding her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"I'll go in first." Seonghwa said softly. Hongjoong hummed.

"Appa..." She grabbed the material of Hongjoong's shirt in her fist. Hongjong hushed her, swaying from side to side.

"I'm right here, melody." Hongjoong whispered, turning his head to kiss her temple.

After Hwayeon calmed down and Hongjoong was sure she was okay, he brought her into the restaurant. He ignored the guilt that made his chest tighten.

"Baby bear." Jongho smiled as Hongjoong sat down with Hwayeon in his lap. Now, she just wanted to be as close to her father as possible.

"We've ordered for everyone already, hyung. So don't worry about it." Yunho said. Hongjoong nodded, still rubbing Hwayeon's back. San poured him a cup of cold tea. Everyone could see the mental and emotional exhaustion on Hongjoong's face so they all wanted to help him with even the small things.

"Here is the food." The servers brought the bowls of hot chicken soup and rice. Seonghwa portioned out some soup and added half a bowl of rice, tearing some chicken into it.

"I'll put it here to let it cool." He said.

"Thanks, Seonghwa ah. Look melody, yummy food." Hongjoong pointed and Hwayeon sat up.

"Mam mam?" She looked up at her dad, who nodded with a smile, smoothing her hair back. After touching the spoon to his lip to check the temperature, he fed Hwayeon.

"Aigo, my love eats so well." Seonghwa cooed. Wanting more praise from her uncles, Hwayeon took another mouthful.

"You like this, melody?" Hongjoong asked and Hwayeon nodded her head. He smiled and wiped her mouth.

"One spoon for melody. And one spoon for appa." He chuckled, watching how Hwayeon looked up at Hongjoong as he took his bite of food. She giggled, watching her father eat. Hongjoong was unaware of San videoing the moment.

"I'm going to send this to (y/n)." San whispered to Yunho.

"Mmm, send it in our group chat." Yunho leaned over to reply. Hongjoong watched Hwayeon eat her portion and even asked for more, he was happy to see her eat.

"You really love this, hmm? You're eating so well, melody." Hongjoong said, giving her the final spoonful.

After dinner, everyone returned back to the dorms since Hwayeon sleeps early. Seonghwa followed Hongjoong to help him.

"I'll run the water." Seonghwa said and ran to the bathroom to get Hwayeon's bath started. Hongjoong removed Hwayeon's shoes and undressed her.

"Bath time~" Hongjoong sang. Thankfully, Hwayeon was fine with baths since there were toys.

With Hwayeon in a good mood after her bath, Seonghwa took over in dressing her and getting her ready for bed while Hongjoong went to take a shower. Because there was no way he would be able to without someone watching Hwayeon, he would be too paranoid that something happens to her.

"Thanks for all your help today, Seonghwa. And all the boys too, wouldn't have been able to do it myself." Hongjoong said as he emerged, towel drying his hair.

"No need to thank us. We're always more than happy to be around Hwayeon. Besides, we wouldn't have left you all by yourself."

"It's not easy, I wonder how (y/n) does it on her own." Hongjoong fell onto the couch.

"Mothers are heroes, that's how. And (y/n)'s pretty amazing, she's a great mother." Seonghwa said, playing with Hwayeon who was perched in his lap.

"She is..." Hongjoong smiled softly.

"I think I'll work for home tomorrow or even take the day off to stay in. Spend some time with melody." He told his best friend.

"That's a good idea. Maybe we'll drop by for a meal. Or if you just need something, let any of us know." Seonghwa said and moved Hwayeon to stand up so he could stand up to leave. He leaned down to give Hwayeon a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, my love." He smiled and waved to her.

"Thanks again, Seonghwa ah." Hongjoong waved and Seonghwa nodded before leaving to head to his dorm upstairs.

"Alright, time for bed, melody." Hongjoong brought Hwayeon to the room to start to put her to bed. He laid beside her in her bed until she fell asleep.

"You must have been tired, hmm?" He whispered, seeing as to how Hwayeon she fell asleep so fast.

"I love you." He kissed her forehead and left the room. Entering your shared bedroom, the first thing he did was text then call you.

"Hi, Joong." You came into view, leaning against the head board of your hotel bed. Just seeing your face and hearing your voice call his name, Hongjoong felt tears well up in his eyes. He covered his eyes with his hand as he let out a shaky breath. Your eyebrows furrowed as you registered the fact that he was crying.

"Joong? Are you okay? What's wrong? What happened?" Worry was evident in your voice as you sat up in your bed. Hongjoong reached for a tissue to wipe his tears.

"Nothing happened... I just... Gosh, I miss you so much, baby. And I'm sorry for all the time I've taken you for granted." He rambled.

"Taking me for granted? Where is all this coming from, Joong? I've never once felt that you've taken me for granted."

"It's not easy taking care of melody on my own. I don't know how you do it but I now know it's not easy. I feel so guilty, I did so many things wrong today." He shook his head.

"Ah, so that's where this is coming from. Tell me what happened." You spoke patiently and gently.

"I don't even know where to begin..." Hongjoong sighed but began to tell you all the events of today. You listened and didn't interrupt.

Hongjoong was a soft hearted, sensitive soul. He seems fierced and strict as a rapper and the captain of Ateez. But you knew him as Kim Hongjoong, the one who feels guilty easily and always wants to do his best for others.

"Joong, listen to me. I wasn't perfect from the start and probably never will be but that's okay. I'm still learning about this whole parenting thing too." You smiled softly.

"It's okay to make mistakes. I make mistakes too. And trust me, Hwayeon doesn't hate you. She still loves you deeply." You giggled.

"It broke my heart to see her cry so much. And twice in one day." Hongjoong pouted.

"It happens, we're her parents but we're humans too. And she had her wonderful appa there, her godfather and 6 goofy uncles. I'm sure she was fine after that." You said. Hongjoong nodded.

"I miss you, baby. So much." Hongjoong said.

"I miss you too, Joong. The bed feels cold and foreign without you here. And it's almost too quiet without Hwayeon." You shrugged.

"Just one more day and one more sleep, baby. We can do this, hmm?" He gave you a lopsided smile. You nodded, wanting nothing more than to hug Hongjoong. You knew he felt the same, he wanted to shower you in kisses. It was never this hard, being away from each other before Hwayeon was born.

"You're going to suffer when you go on tour." You commented with a chuckle. Hongjoong groaned softly, still hyperaware and listening out for the cries of Hwayeon.

"I'm just going to have to fly you both to every destination with us. Problem solved." He smiled victoriously.

"Well, I have to work but Hwayeon will be more than happy to go see her dad and uncles." You laughed and Hongjoong agreed.

"Won't you be excited to see us too?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Joong, our dating and married life has always consisted, and will probably continue to consist, of me being backstage with you and watching you on stage. If I wasn't excited about it, I wouldn't have went to every performance and concert you have." You pointed out with a chuckle.

"That's why I love you." He grinned.

"I love you too." You said. Reluctantly, you and Hongjoong had to end the call because Hwayeon started fussing and Hongjoong needed to attend to her.

"Shh, shh, melody." He whispered as he lulled her back to sleep. Although you wanted to see Hwayeon, you were worried that your voice and/or your face would remind her of you and make her cry.

"You miss her? I miss her too." Hongjoong spoke to his sleeping child, smiling endearingly at her.

"Thank you for being patient with me." He added as he laid down beside her.

Hongjoong was glad you both decided against an actual bed for Hwayeon. You had those soft mattress pads with two futons put over so you and Hongjoong could sleep with her comfortably.

"Sweet melody." Like the night before, Hongjoong patted Hwayeon's back to keep her asleep, until he too fell asleep, exhausted from the day before. Hwayeon ended up scooting close to her father, pressing herself against his chest.

It was a good decision to stay in because Hwayeon was extra clingy to Hongjoong from the moment they woke up.

"Are you hungry?" Hongjoong asked. He felt Hwayeon nod her head but still hold onto his shirt. Even when he was working, she wanted to sit on his lap.

"Alright, you can walk beside me." He placed her down. Hwayeon held her father's hand.

"Want this?" Hongjoong held the bag of granola bites.

"Eung!" She nodded. He gave her that with some fruits and yoghurt. The father and daughter love yoghurt. Adjusting her on his lap, Hongjoong put the spoon in Hwayeon's hand.

"Eat up, melody." He smiled, watching her try to feed herself. Hongjoong leaned back slightly to text Seonghwa. He updated him on how Hwayeon was and that all the boys shouldn't come over since it may overwhelm her like yesterday. The only person that Hwayeon might be okay would be Seonghwa.

"Papa Hwa's coming over, okay melody?" Hongjoong tucked his daughter's hair behind her ears. Hwayeon actually nodded.

"Papa!" She raised her spoon with a smile. Hongjoong couldn't help but laugh, finding his daughter absolutely adorable. He would gladly be the number 1 fool for her.

"Why are you so cute, Kim Hwayeon?" He playfully pretended to bite her, making her squeal in laughter.

"Appa, noooooo!" She giggled, holding Hongjoong's cheeks.

DING DONG

"Papa?" Hwayeon tilted her head. Holding her in his arms, Hongjoong went to open the door to let Seonghwa in. Thankfully, Hwayeon willing went into Seonghwa's arms.

"Good morning, my love." Seonghwa smiled as he showered her in kisses.

"Hold her. I've needed to use the bathroom for the longest time!" Hongjoong ran to the bathroom. Seonghwa laughed, shaking his head. Holding Hwayeon at his hip, Seonghwa cleared up her empty yoghurt bowl and wiped the table.

"Mmm, yeah." Seonghwa nodded along to whatever Hwayeon was babbling about, which was a mix of short words she knew and made up gibberish.

"She's always so talkative with you, ever since birth." Hongjoong said as he came back.

"Especially when she was 3 months old." Seonghwa chuckled. He sat down at the dining table with Hwayeon in his lap.

"I made Hwayeon some soup and food so we can just order for ourselves." Seonghwa said, nodding over to the food containers he brought down with him.

"Okay. You're so lucky, melody." Hongjoong tapped Hwayeon's nose. They sent the order in for their lunch.

"Since I only have you here for lunch, distract her while I finish up chores." Hongjoong said. He wanted to do the laundry and clear up the house as much as he could so you wouldn't have to do it when you come back, he knew you would be tired from travelling and having to unpack.

"Uh, do you want me to help with the cleaning instead?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. Having lived with Hongjoong and sharing a room with him, he knew Hongjoong's cleaning skills...

"I can do it. Believe it or not, I'm good at cleaning now." Hongjoong rolled his eyes. And just as he put a load of laundry in, the food came.

"Lunch time!" Seonghwa lifted Hwayeon up from where she was sitting with her toys.

"Hands." He instructed and helped her wash her hands.

"Be careful, my love." Seonghwa supported her butt as Hwayeon tried to climb into her high chair herself. But she still couldn't really get her leg over the table top so Seonghwa helped her.

"Appa~" Hwayeon whined when she realised she was alone, Seonghwa having left momentarily to get cutlery.

"I'm right here, melody." Hongjoong came to the table, tapping her cheek. He unwrapped all the food, laying it out on the table. Seonghwa put Hwayeon's bib on and placed the plate of what he cooked fro her.

"Alright, melody. Here you go." Hongjoong placed the spoon in her hand. She was content, with her dad on her left and her godfather on her right.

"Mmm, is it yummy, my love?" Seonghwa smiled, watching Hwayeon feed herself.

"Yum!" She cheered.

"Good girl, eat your vegetables, unlike someone..." Seonghwa cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows at Hwayeon's father, who was picking the vegetables out of his rice.

"What?" Hongjoong blinked. Seonghwa shook his head with a soft sigh, turning his attention back to Hwayeon.

"Let me help you, melody." Scraping the last few bites on her plate, Hongjoong fed them to Hwayeon.

"Want more?" Seonghwa asked. Surprisingly, Hwayeon nodded her head. Seonghwa stood up to get her more rice, putting the remaining soup into the bowl. He shredded the last piece of chicken that he cooked for her and mixed it into the rice and soup. Hwayeon kicked her feet happily when she saw more food.

"Your appetite is so much better today, my love." Seonghwa stroked her head.

"I think she's just happy to sit and eat with us now." Hongjoong smiled dreamily at his daughter. Watching Hwayeon eat always made him feel so full.

"To think, it feels like just yesterday I found out our baby was going to be a girl." Hongjoong said fondly.

"Don't start crying." Seonghwa chuckled.

"I already want the cry at the thought of her and boys one day. If I could, she'll never get to be around any boys. You don't need any boys, don't you, melody?" Hongjoong cooed.

"Eung!" Hwayeon nodded, even if she didn't understand what her dad was saying to her. Hongjoong laughed, nodding in approval.

"None of us accept any boys that's less than perfection for our princess." Seonghwa scoffed. He didn't like the idea of his 'one, true love' potentially having a boyfriend and even getting married one day. That'll be his death day.

"See? You're thinking about it." Hongjoong burst out laughing, seeing the deep frown on Seonghwa's face and the defensiveness that was evident in his posture.

"I'll take her and run away before she can start dating." Seonghwa said.

"You're worse than me." Hongjoong scoffed. Hwayeon looked between her father and godfather, waving her spoon happily.

After lunch, Hongjoong cleared up the area and did the dishes while Seonghwa played with Hwayeon. They did some reading, knowing that Hwayeon would have her first nap soon.

"Hwa, you can go if you need to. I'll take over." Hongjoong said from the kitchen.

"I'll wait for her to fall asleep then leave." Seonghwa replied, looking down to see Hwayeon yawning and rubbing her eyes.

When Hwayeon was showing signs of sleepiness, Hongjoong came to cradle her to sleep. She still sleeps best with her father so she fell asleep in his arms quickly. Hongjoong carefully moved to her room to place her down in her bed and Seonghwa gave her a kiss on the head before he left.

However, Hwayeon didn't stay asleep for long, starting to fuss and whine. So, Hongjoong stopped doing his chores and stayed with her, laying beside her.

"Shh, shh..." He rubbed her back to soothe her, knowing she was still tired and needed to nap more.

"Mama..." She whimpered in her sleep. It dawned on Hongjoong that Hwayeon's fussiness could be attributed to her missing you but not realising or understanding it. He looked down at his sleeping child.

"She'll come home to us tomorrow." He whispered, closing his eyes to rest with Hwayeon.

"Joong?" You pushed open the door.

After finishing your part of the conference, you told your boss you wouldn't stay on and wanted to come home. Luckily, your boss understood and let you leave early.

"Baby? Joong?" You left your luggage in the living room and went around looking for your family. There was a possibility that they were out. But when you pushed open Hwayeon's room door, you saw the two laying together in Hwayeon's bed.

"Mama...?" Hwayeon sat up, evidently awake while her father was asleep. You smiled and crept over to pick her up.

"Hi there. Oh, I missed you so much, my baby." You hugged her. You moved out of the room so you wouldn't disturb Hongjoong. Hwayeon buried her face in your chest.

"My good girl." You patted her back.

"Were you a good girl for appa and samchons?" You giggled. Inhaling her scent really comforted you.

"Hold on." You put Hwayeon down just go lay a blanket over Hongjoong's sleeping figure. Right after that, Hwayeon climbed into your arms again.

"Appa brought you to play with papa and samchons, huh?" You spoke to Hwayeon, who listened and babbled back.

When Hongjoong woke up, he noticed Hwayeon wasn't in the room with him. Panic shot through him as he heard rumaging outside. He was worried Hwayeon would hurt herself. Jumping to his feet, he rushed out of the room. But he froze in his tracks. There you were, standing in the kitchen with Hwayeon at your hip.

"Oh! Look who it is." You smiled, talking to Hwayeon.

"Appa!" Hwayeon grinned. You laughed and nodded. Hongjoong rubbed his eyes, he was dreaming, right? Because you were only supposed to be back tomorrow.

"You're not dreaming, Joong. I'm back a day early." You chuckled, knowing exactly what your husband was thinking.

"Here you go, baby." You put Hwayeon in her highway, giving her a small bowl of her crackers.

"Joong, I-" You were interrupted by Hongjoong engulfing you in a big hug. Now, Hongjoong's scent was home. You felt his face pressed against your shoulder.

"I missed you too, Joong." You spoke softly.

That was when you felt the dampness on your shoulder. Hongjoong often makes fun of you, saying you're his baby before Hwayeon is. But there were times when Hongjoong was like your son before Hwayeon was your daughter.

"Please don't ever leave me again." He cried. As much as you wanted to comfort him, you couldn't help but snort.

"Leave you? You were the one telling me to leave!" You exclaimed amidst your laughter.

"I know and I regret it." He sobbed. You knew that Hongjoong was really going through it so you stopped laughing at him and really comforted him.

"You did good, Joong. It's not easy doing it alone, hmm?" You patted his head.

"Not just that... I just missed you... I didn't like coming home and you not being there." He said in between his sobs, making you melt.

"Appa...?" You heard a whimper and looked up to see Hwayeon looking horrified at her father crying.

"Oh, no, no, no. My sweet baby girl. Appa is okay. Don't worry." With Hongjoong still stuck to your waist and refusing to let go, you shuffled over to pick Hwayeon up, balancing her on one arm while to other was still around Hongjoong. You sighed with a shake of your head, comforting your upset child and crying husband.

"It's okay, Hwayeon." You pressed kisses to her head to comfort her since you couldn't use your other hand to soothe her.

"You both... seriously..." You sighed with a shake of your head. Hongjoong lifted his head, cupping your cheeks and pulling you in for a deep kiss.

"Excuse me, your daughter is right here!" You slapped his arm. Hongjoong just hugged you again.

"I'm taking you both with me on tour. No negotiations." Hongjoong declared.

"Joong, no." You sent him a flat look.

"But baby~" He whined. You have been with him long enough to not be swayed by his whining anymore. Once Hwayeon was calm again, you set her down on her high chair to continue eating.

"Think about it. It'll be good for melody too, she can travel and experience things overseas. And she won't forget me." Hongjoong said as he pulled you onto his lap so you could both sit with Hwayeon as she ate. You sat across his lap, legs dangling on his side.

"She won't forget you, drama queen." You scoffed, slinging an arm around his shoulders as he leaned his head against your chest.

"Please~" He whined.

"Stop that, I don't want Hwayeon picking up on your whining." You scolded. Hongjoong pouted at you with a small frown, his last resort was always a tantrum.

"No promises but I'll think about it, okay? Let me speak with her paediatrician and stuff." You gave in.

"Okay!" He smiled, pressing a kiss to your cheek, his arms tightening around your waist.

"So, what did the two of you get up to while I wasn't around?" You asked, smiling at Hwayeon, who smiled back at you, her cheeks puffed slightly from the snacks she was eating.

"The usual, her ruling KQ like the princess she is. Her uncles and godfather spoil her too much." Hongjoong clicked his tongue.

"Coming from you?" You raised an eyebrow.

"She's a mini you, she was literally born for me to spoil. That's different." Hongjoong reasoned, rolling his eyes. You laughed, Hongjoong and Ateez would always be fools for Hwayeon, she'll never know the power she has over the 8. She'll always be Ateez's daughter, princess, baby, love and bun.

"You guys are unbelieveable. I can't believe she has all of you wrapped around her finger and she's not even 2. So much for pirate kings." You snorted in disbelief.

"Oh, please. We knew we were doomed to moment we found out our baby was going to be a girl." Hongjoong stated.

"Well, I'm glad you all had fun and bonded more. She's one lucky girl." You giggled.

"Mhmm. I think melody had fun too. But baby, I wanted to ask you something I learnt about. What's this about a group chat called '(y/n)'s favourites'? And why am I not in it?" Hongjoong finally asked.

"Ah... About that..." All you could do was send him a sheepish smile.

Masterlist

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femmefatalevibe · 1 year ago

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Femme Fatale Guide: Office Essentials Every Woman Should Own

A sturdy, sleek tote that fits your laptop but isn't too bulky (with at least one closable interior pocket)

Laptop, AirPods/earbuds, portable charging system for phone/laptop

Laptop stand (changes the game, tbh)

Protective laptop case/sleeve

A planner and a black pen/another color pen for marking up your notes

Another notebook/pad for random notes or a running to-do list

A pen cup holder

A ziplock of hair-ties

Disposable toothbrush, Listerine strips, and travel-sized container of floss picks

A discreet feminine hygiene pouch or two with at least 2 products in it (you can use the additional pouch for extra underwear to be safe, honestly)

A simple, easy to zip and clean makeup bag

Lip balm

Hand cream

Vaseline/Aquaphor/Homeoplasmine

Mini stick antiperspirant or deodorant wipes

Travel-sized tweezers

Lint roller

Hand sanitizers

Disposable Shout wipes/stain remover stick

Travel-sized container of antibacterial and baby wipes

Band-aids

A pair of nail scissors

A mini nail file

Small sunscreen that doesn't leave a white cast

Travel-sized hair brush

A pigmented lip color (or two)

Compact powder

Portable stick cream blush/brusher

Eyeliner/mini mascara

Eyebrow pencil

A snack pack or two of a protein-rich, plant-based snack (roasted edamame, roasted chickpeas, lupini beans, almonds, or Feel Protein bars are great options because they're portable and keep you full in a pinch without forcing you to reach for something unhealthy/not filling when you need to eat – you can also carry some freeze-dried fruit to pair alongside it if desired)

Pouch for keys, wallet, IDs, etc.

Blue-light glasses (for long days in front of a screen)

#office supplies #office life #beauty essentials #product recommendations #skin products #beauty products #life hacks #travel essentials #workplace wellbeing #higher self #makeup essentials #survival essentials #self improvement #dream girl #that girl #glow up tips #femmefatalevibe

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voxslays · 8 days ago

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THE CURSE

Featuring >>> Lucifer x Reader; In which, an attempt to kill baby Charlie goes south. Resulting in a soporific curse placed upon the reader, who struggles to deal with the aftermath of its affects.

Part Three Part Five

The waiting was agonizing. You loved your husband, you truly did—but there was no way you were going to sit out your baby’s sweet sixteen party! She only got one of those! So you close your eyes for another few moments, waiting until Luci is out of sight to sit back up again. You slowly get up, quickly and quietly making your way to the door of the master bedroom and stepping out of it, into the long, wide hallway.

You quickly go up a familiar set of stairs that leads to one of the Palace’s towers. Once up though, you find yourself in an unfamiliar dark hallway—one that didn’t even match the aesthetic of the gold, white, and red decor of the rest of the estate. Yet, you found yourself walking down it anyways. Was it stupid? Absolutely, but you needed to find that dress for Charlie. She was counting on you.

At the end of the long, dark hallway is a small round room, with nothing but a peculiar spinning wheel inside. You slowly open the door, hearing a loud creak. You jump back in fear, only to see a singular spinning wheel in the middle of the room. You instantly relax. There was nothing to be afraid of.

Yet, you strangely find yourself staring at the spinning wheel. The longer you look, the more peculiar and out of place it seems. It was made out of a mahogany-like wood, with a gold and red string wrapped around the wheel…was it sewing something? And there were white and pink roses all along the dark marble walls, covering almost every inch. The only rays of sunlight came into the room from a small window at the far end of the small room. The window has a small panel covered in both dust and the overgrown roses. Strange.

You slowly walk closer and closer to the spindle—examining the strange textile, each step heavier than the rest, it’s almost like you’re in a trance—and before you know what you’re doing, you touch the sharp spindle, causing a small drop of blood to fall from your finger onto the dark, cold, stone floor. “No.” You softly whimper, wiping your bloody finger on your dress.

As another drop of blood hits the floor, the room suddenly feels colder. The spinning wheel creaks loudly, and the room begins to spin slowly. More roses cover the walls, completely blacking out the small window. You feel the vines of the roses slowly wrapping around you too. You try to shake them loose, but it’s no use. The vines are extremely strong, and you are growing weaker by the minute. What had you just done? How could you be so careless? You feel the vines wrap around your bloody finger as you yawn once, before falling to the ground unconscious.

You had been missing all night. Lucifer had checked nearly every room, closet, hallway, and tower—and you weren’t in any of them. Feeling downtrodden and concerned, Lucifer travels up the last place on his list, the east tower. It was a place he had never shown you…because, well…it was dangerous, to say the least.

As Lucifer reaches the tower and finds the door open, he opens the door to a truly horrific sight. You were out cold, covered by a pack of overgrown roses and thorns, the light was completely missing from the room, and the spinning wheel within was turning by itself. He quickly steps inside the room, kneeling to the floor. “Ducky, this isn’t funny…wake up…!” He shakes your unconscious frame—to no avail because of the excessive amount of roses.

Lucifer snaps his fingers twice and the roses and their vines quickly retract and disappear into the shadows. He rocks your limp body back and forth in his arms as he checks your pulse. You’re still alive. Maybe you were just napping? Luci sees a red dot out of the corner of his eye. Blood. He quickly looks to the spinning wheel as a cold and dark realization washes over him. “No no no…wake up my love.” Lucifer sobs as he cradles you in his pale arms. But it’s no use. You won’t can’t wake up.

Lucifer carefully carries you out of the room, his heart pounding in his chest. He knows exactly what has happened, and the implications are dire. He rushes back down the stairs, holding you tightly against him. He does the only thing he can think of—locking the memory of you away as he swears to never tell Charlie the horrors of what he experienced that night. She can never know.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin x you #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel imagine #lucifer x you #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer magne #hazbinhotel #luciferxreader #hazbin hotel angst #angst

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slothsluv · 20 days ago

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devotion — billy the kid; william h. bonney

SUMMARY: after an altercation that left a man dead, Billy is devoted to keeping you safe from prosecution.

————————————————

It wasn’t supposed to happen.

It happened so fast; you couldn’t comprehend that he was lying, face down.. blood tricking from his head and seething through the hardwood floor beneath. You couldn’t see that he was dead even though his body was right there. The hard and heavy metal in your hand stained worse than the blood that splattered the front of your boots. Your ears ringing from the loud sound of the gun spearing through and bouncing around the walls. You thought you were going deaf.

Tears streamed down your face as you stared down at him. Your mouth opened agape at the sight. You had no idea what to do but stare at his lifeless body lying there alone. Dying alone.

Billy was heaving. His chest, rising and falling at a rate faster than your own breaths as his hands roam his body, looking for obvious signs of injuries from the gunshots displays. It wasn’t long till he looked over at you in a panic, remembering what just happened. Your face painted with shock.

He stepped forward, blocking your view from the body. He reached down and took the gun away from your hand, peeking in the cylinder and dumping out the rest of the ammo packed in. He tucked the gun back in his holster with a quick hustle of his wrist before grabbing your face in his hands. He ran his thumbs over the soft skin of your cheeks, soaking his skin in your tears. He bent down to reach your level, staring into your eyes.

“Baby. It’s okay.. it’s okay. Look at me.” He spoke with tenderness, trying to wipe the tears but more kept falling down your face. His thumb rubbing back in forth, the small gesture felt faint from what your mind was filled with and your eyes held. He did everything to try and distract you from the body on the floor; moving small strands of hair out of your eyes excessively, his hands squishing the skin of your face underneath.

You move your eyes and lock with his; both pairs pleading for reassurance while yours showed fear. Scared of what folded before you. Your lips trembled as your eyes scanned his for any way of traveling away from the place, a way to go back in time. That what happened just moments ago was a malicious nightmare you wanted to wake up from.

“What did I do..” you whispered. The plain words soaking through the questioning and confusion of what you did because you knew full-heartedly that you took the life of a man you vowed to never do. To never take a person’s life. To never be their god deciding their own fate on the death lane.

Billy knitted his eyebrows and shook his head like he wanted to shake your words off. He tried to calm you with the strokes of his thumbs, his eyes softened at the sight of you, your hair interlacing with his fingers. “You didn’t do nothing, baby. Alright?” He let out a small chuckle but it seemed to slice with doubt of his own words.

“They’re gon’ hang me.” You blurted out, a small cry escaping at the end.

“No, no. Nothings going to happen, okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”

Tears swelled your eyes, hazily appearing Billy in front of you as you shook your head. Trying to get rid of everything in your head. Your hands went up and gripped his forearms—trying to find any sort of comfort in his skin with your taps of your fingertips while millions of thoughts about the death of your own piercing in your mind but mainly clouded by the death of the man before you.

“I killed him, Billy. I killed him.” You choked out.

“He was gon’ kill me, you saw that. You were only protecting me.” Billy tried to reassure you of the verdict, but it was no use. Your mind already made its own up in the fact that you were a cold-blooded murderer.

“No, Billy. I killed him. I-I took his life away from him.” You sobbed, looking up at him. Billy’s face contorted in pain from seeing you cry. He hated it. He hated what this man was doing to you even after his death.

“They’re gon know this was me and kill me.”

“Baby, they’re not going to do anything.. I’m gonna find a way out of this, for both of us. I swear.” Billy leaned his forehead against yours. “I swear. Okay?” He stared down at you, tears swelling in his as well. You closed your eyes and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” You spoke but it felt more targeted at the man lying on the ground. You sobbed, thinking about the blood that was on your hands, that was etched into your soul. The pure riddance being tainted with dark wired wickedness.

“It ain’t your fault baby. None of this is your fault, okay? Look at me.” Billy demanded. His tone shifting from your lack of sense with delivering your attention to him. You looked back up at him and sniffled.

“I am going to get rid of this but I need you to leave. Okay?” He leveled his height with you again, forcing you to stare directly at him. “You hear me?” He slightly shook your temples, wanting his words to taint inside of your skull.

You nodded your head viciously, just wanting this feeling to disappear. Somehow, in some way, wanting Billy to take away this pain in your heart. Nothing could justify what you just did and never vowed to do in any shape of your life. Especially in front of the man, you love so dearly.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise, y/n.. now leave.” Billy gave you a kiss on your head before softly pushing you away. You stumbled back, bringing your coat sleeve to your nose and walked out of the house. You didn’t bother to look for one more second, streams of tears still running down your cheeks and blurring your eyes. Your head felt like a foggy mess.

The cold air of the snowy afternoon blew past your stained face. You couldn’t think straight as you jumped on Billy’s horse and rode as fast as you could. The pain seething through your thighs didn't seem as big as the one in your chest. The horse below you, kicking with all it's might, wanting to leave everything behind. The horse becoming the martyr of your conflicting situation between the man and earth playing in your mind. Leaving the small house out in the distance as it slowly disappeared into the white hills of the prairie.

It wasn’t till a couple hours later, with you sitting on your sofa, in your small home you shared with Billy, when he finally came through. The night sky following after as he closed the door. You stood up and faced him, your hands playing with the hem of your button-up blouse. The tears from previous hours stained your cheeks white, your hair messy from the ride back. You didn’t bother at all to fix yourself up, it was no use to you at all.

Billy took his hat off and placed it on the small table side near the door, sighing as he looked down.

You hesitated, stepping forward but quickly retreating back. Biting the skin on your bottom lip, blood trickling into your mouth from the continuous abuse over the hours you were alone. “Billy?” You whispered.

He looked at you and stepped forward, engulfing you into a hug as one of his hands reached to your head, pushing you into his chest. You obliged to his touch and melted into him, your arms wrapping around his body. The comfort of him; his smell and his touch calmed you. His chin rested upon your head as you felt his hand begin to rub circles on your back. You closed your eyes.

“It’s okay, I got you.” Billy spoke softly.

You sniffed and sighed into his coat, the scent of him overwhelming your senses.

“The horse..” you mumbled against him. You felt his touch harden on you, squeezing you to let you know the answer to your question.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I took care of everything.” Billy whispered back, pulling away from the hug. He grabbed your face between his hands.

“You don’t gotta worry bout nothing, baby. I promise nobody will find out, okay?” Billy nodded and you simultaneously nodded back to him. You trusted him with your life—you would do anything to let him know that too. He took care of you and you knew that as well.

Billy looked into your eyes and softly caressed your cheek before laying his lips on yours. You closed your eyes as the both of you melted into the kiss.

Billy sighed softly into your mouth. You felt his touch grip harder on you, afraid you were going to disappear any second against his fingers. He kisses you like he is filled with the hunger of love radiating through his body. He kisses as it’s the last thing he will do in this lifetime with you. It was something that you cherished when it happened; kissing you as if your lips are his lifeline to his heartbeats every second that passes by.

As you both stood there, embracing each other with the warmth of your bodies and tongues, tasting each pain and suffering that occurred the days that passed, you thought in your mind that this man will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you were okay. To make sure nobody hurt you in anyway even if it put his life in danger.

It’s a thought that made you wonder what you did to deserve such sacrifice and devotion.

#billy the kid #tom blyth #tom blyth imagine #william h bonney #billy the kid x reader #tom blyth characters #billy the kid x you #imagines #william h bonney x reader #william h bonney x you #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x you #tom blyth fanfiction #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes

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alltheirdamn · 8 months ago

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Killing Me Softly | (Joel x teacher!f!reader)

Chap. 6 Buried Truths

Summary: When the past can only be contained for so long, Joel is there to pick up the pieces. Rating: 18+ MDNI Explicit Word Count: 8.4k Warnings: Pre-outbreak AU, language, mentions of a hospital setting, mentions of injury, mentions of past trauma, a FUCK ton of angst, little sprinkle of smut, another cliffhanger (don't worry, i won't make you wait long) A/N: This is the part where you all collectively say OH...

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Joel’s hand remained wrapped around yours as you stared blankly out the plane window. Everything had been a blur the last twenty-four hours. After you got off the call with Beth, you ran through calling the school to find a substitute, packed what you could into a small carry-on bag, and went online to book the first ticket out to Boston. You tried to talk Joel into staying back in Austin; he had work and Sarah to care for, but he was adamant about coming. He made a quick call to Tommy to make a plan for Sarah and contacted his work to find coverage for the rest of the week. He was only apart from you when he rushed home to pack his travel bag. Then you were both off to the airport: you bleary-eyed and Joel more stoic than you could ever recall seeing. He hadn’t said much between security and the flight gate, but you were too exhausted to try and force conversation.

“Hey,” Joel said, nudging you. “How you feelin’, baby?”

You glanced at him and shrugged, the tears from earlier still drying on your cheeks.

“I’m okay, I guess.”

His fingers squeezed around yours before he brought your hand to his mouth to kiss it softly.

“He’s gonna be alright,” he assured. “Beth said he’s recovering now, right? It’s just gonna take some time.”

While you and Joel were waiting at the gate, you called Beth again to find out what happened with your dad. She explained he had been up on the ladder fixing the roofing above the patio when his foot caught in one of the steps, ultimately forcing him to fall ten feet to the ground. He had a broken hip, a fracture in his lower spine, and a severe concussion—leaving him in a temporary medically induced coma. Beth had said he was lucky to be alive, but the anxiety still bubbled inside you in fear of what he would endure through his recovery. The thought of his injury only elevated the already strong emotions connecting you to the past, making it nearly impossible to cope with your dad’s accident while you simultaneously still struggled with your own.

The plane made a rocky touch-down in Boston well after midnight, the autumn rain causing the plane to slide against the tarmac before coming to a jarring stop. You and Joel rushed around the other passengers, filing out of the plane and sprinting through the airport to find Beth. You singled her out of the crowd, her face rosy and hair piled onto her head in a messy bun. The second she had your arms around you, you crumpled to the ground as the sobs broke out of your chest.

“It’s okay, sis,” she said, her voice breaking. “He’s stable. It’s gonna be okay.”

“What if—what if he’s not?” You sobbed.

You clutched onto her sweater, your head buried into her shoulders. She hushed you, her hand rubbing into your back.

“The doctors said he’ll make a full recovery. We just need to wait,” she said.

“Is there any…” Your voice broke once more.

“No,” she whispered. “There’s no serious damage to his brain.”

You choked on your breath, relief swimming through your veins. This wouldn’t be like your accident; he would be okay.

“C’mon,” she urged, pulling you to your feet.

You wiped your nose across your sleeve, sheepishly turning to Joel. Gesturing from him to Beth, you gave a weak smile.

“Joel, this is Beth. Beth, this is Joel.”

Joel and Beth stood motionless, staring awkwardly at each other. You glanced between them, your eyebrows furrowing. Why weren’t they saying anything?

Finally, Joel cleared his throat and extended his hand to Beth.

“Nice to meet you, Beth. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Beth took his hand cautiously, giving him a friendly smile.

“Same here.”

You’d revisit this awkward interaction later, but you needed to go home.

“Is mom home?” You asked Beth.

You reached for your bag, but Joel gently nudged your hand away. He took it into his hand and walked to the parking garage behind you and your sister.

“Her and Stella are at the hospital,” she explained.

You stopped in your tracks, sending Joel staggering into your back with a soft oof.

“Sorry,” you muttered to Joel. You turned back to Beth. “Take me home.”

“No,” she said sternly. “They want you there. You need to be there.”

“Beth,” you started.

She lifted a hand to silence you, glancing over your shoulder at Joel.

“Can you jump in the car real quick? I need to talk to my sister alone.”

Beth tossed her keys to Joel, waiting until the back door shut before she glared at you.

“Does he know?” She questioned.

“Of course, he doesn’t know,” you argued.

She scoffed, folding her arms.

“Considering everything going on, you didn’t think to mention it to him?”

“Sorry, I’ve been a little busy getting my ass out here as fast as possible. It didn’t register in my mind to share the sad details of my accident with him.”

“You need to tell him, sis.”

“This isn’t the fucking time to do it!” You snapped.

Beth rolled her eyes, her lips pursed for another attack.

“It’s going to come out sooner or later. You know that, right? He’s not going to run away if you tell him.”

“Bennett did, so why is he any different?”

“Stop comparing him to Bennett!” She yelled. “He’s nothing like him, and if you seriously think that, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

“Don’t say that,” you mumbled.

“What? The truth? Because the truth is that you are a fucking idiot. And on top of that, you’re a coward.”

“Fuck you,” you spat.

Beth laughed. She actually laughed. Rounding the car, she left you standing teary-eyed and frustrated.

“Get in the fucking car,” she shouted. “We’re wasting time.”

You hauled yourself into the front seat, keeping your eyes out of the window and avoiding the heavy truth sitting between you, Beth, and Joel. If any one of them told him about your past, you’d kill them. It was yours to share whenever you were ready.

Beth drove like a bat out of hell to Mass General. No one said anything the entire drive, and you were grateful for it. After the blowup between you and Beth, you had no more energy left to fight. You just hoped you’d be able to reel in the anger with Joel; he didn’t deserve it.

Mass General loomed above the rain clouds settling over the city. Joel and Beth had already exited the car while you sat inside its warmth, your eyes stuck on the Emergency sign at the front of the hospital. Joel tapped on the window, stirring you from the numbing sensation rolling through your body. You didn’t even flinch at the sound of his knuckles on the glass. Joel cracked the door open, pulling it wide enough to fit his broad frame between the metal and your shaking body.

“C’mon baby,” he urged, offering his hand. “I know y’can do this. I’m right here with you, okay?”

“I can’t,” you whined.

Joel crouched slightly, leveling you with soft brown eyes, a curl drifting over his forehead. You wished you were both in bed, curled under the covers and far away from Boston. You wanted his soft hair between your fingers and his stubble ticking your skin. But no, you were here in Boston, with a rain cloud hanging in the sky and your father unconscious in a hospital bed.

“Look at me,” Joel breathed.

You wanted to look anywhere but at him. If he looked at you any longer, you’d shatter completely. He cautioned your name, coaxing you from your hesitation. His strong hands cupped your cheeks, holding you firm as he kept your focus on his eyes.

“I’m right here,” he repeated. “Ain’t gonna leave your side no matter what. Y’understand? Whatever happens, I’m right here.”

You chewed on your lip to keep the sobs from escaping. It was surprising you had anything left to cry; all you did was cry… and cry… and cry.

“I can’t go in there, Joel. You don’t—you don’t understand.”

“Help me understand,” he pleaded.

“Go without me. I’ll wait outside, okay?”

“Baby,” he groaned. “Beth will have my ass if I don’t get you inside.”

You scoffed, ripping his hands from your face.

“You speak a few words to her and suddenly know how she’s gonna react?” You glared. “You both acted so fucking weird in the airport and now you’re taking her side?”

Joel straightened to his full height, the shadow of his body blanketing you. You were pushing him away; you knew it, and so did he. You just needed to nudge him a bit more, and he’d run. You’d be alone again and spare yourself the humiliation and heartbreak.

“I ain’t takin’ sides,” he argued. “I’m bein’ realistic. I saw the way she went at you back there. I’m not ‘bout to get the same treatment for leavin’ you behind.”

“Just go!” You yelled. You shoved at his chest, forcing him back into the door.

He didn’t respond in anger like you expected. He did the opposite, pulling you towards him and into a desperate kiss. You tried to push him off—tried to fight it— but he only held you tighter.

“Keep fightin’ me, baby,” he said against your mouth. “I’m only gonna fight back.”

“I hate you,” you cried. “I hate you.”

But you didn’t stop kissing him. You gripped the wild curls at the base of his neck, pinning him to your lips as you sobbed through every slant of his mouth.

“Why won’t you leave?” You cried, the words muffled as his tongue searched for yours. “Why, Joel?”

“I ain’t leavin’ you again, baby,” he murmured. “I can’t.”

Joel pulled away from your swollen lips, tears pooling in his eyes. You instantly felt remorse for treating him so badly. You wouldn’t do to him what Bennett did to you.

“Remember when I said this was real?” he asked. “Do you still believe that?”

You nodded, squeezing your eyes shut as more tears ran down your cheeks.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“Then trust me when I say I’m never leavin’. Not now. Not ever.”

You inhaled a sharp breath and buried your head in your hands.

“Just give me a minute, okay?” You exhaled. “Catch up with Beth, and I’ll be right behind you.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” he said, echoing the words you spoke only a few weeks ago.

“You and your deals,” you grumbled, peeking out your fingers.

That garnered a slight grin from Joel, his lips curling upward.

“Take your breather, and I’ll wait by the back of the car. If y’wanna go in, we can go in together.”

You remained silent, hiccuping over another sob. Joel raised his brow, waiting for a response. Avoiding his eyes, you nodded, the Emergency sign taunting you from a distance. Joel leaned down to press a soft kiss on your forehead and abandoned you to retreat toward the back of the car.

You steadied your breathing, focusing on the slow inhale and exhale of the air within your lungs. It wasn’t you in that hospital bed; it was your dad. He didn’t sustain the same damage you had, and that’s all that mattered. Whatever the outcome, he was better off than you had ever been, and you needed to be grateful for it.

You let your legs move on their own accord as you took your spot beside Joel, his hand instantly grasping around yours. His touch grounded you in the moment, keeping you centered as your mind swam upstream through the rocky waves of the past. You had to stay strong. You had to prove you could do this.

The second your feet crossed through the sliding doors, all that strength collapsed. Joel hooked a strong arm around your back, bracing you to his side as he guided you into the waiting room. Your mom and Beth sat side by side in the worn-down seats, their faces grim and tired.

“Hey,” you said wearily.

Your mom's eyes snapped up, and she broke down at seeing you. She ran up to yank you from Joel’s grasp, smothering you into a tight hug.

“Oh, honey,” she cried. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“How’s dad?” You asked, speaking into her hair that wrapped around your face.

“Doctors haven’t given much of an update, but he’s alright. They’re taking him in for surgery in a few hours to help reset his hip.”

“And his head?” You faltered.

“There’s no serious damage,” she whispered.

You peered over her shoulder to where Beth sat, eyes meeting in a quiet understanding. There was still a tension running thick between you both, but those words from your mom were enough to soothe the surmounting anxiety inside you.

“Mom,” you sighed, tearing away from her embrace. “This is Joel.”

You motioned to Joel behind you, an eerie repeat of what had happened between him and Beth. Your mom stood frozen, her eyes widening as she stared at him. Joel cracked a welcoming smile, extending his hand out to her. No one moved, and his hand remained wavering in the stagnant air.

“Mom?” You pressed.

She shook her head and opened her arms to Joel, inviting him in for a hug. It was strange but not entirely unexpected, considering the circumstances.

“Hi, honey,” she said as she rocked Joel back and forth in the embrace.

“Hi, Mrs. Smith,” Joel replied. You caught on to the way his biceps flexed around her, squeezing her just as tightly as he would with you. He was comforting her, and something softened inside you.

Beth cleared her throat behind you, snapping you out of your thoughts. Your mom released Joel and turned towards Beth.

“She should go up and see him,” Beth told your mom.

“She is right here,” you snapped.

“Oh, now she wants to listen to me,” Beth snorted.

“Both of you!” Your mom shouted. “Enough!”

You shrunk away, folding yourself into Joel’s warm frame. The press of his body against yours quelled the anger rising back up, and you kept focus on his hands rubbing over your arms to keep from lashing out. Beth was pushing, and you knew exactly why.

“Listen, Beth, stay here and chill out,” your mom started. She glanced back at you and Joel before continuing. “Let’s go upstairs, and I’ll take you to see him.”

You followed your mom up to the ICU, your eyes shifting from one room to another. The repetition of machines beeping and murmurs of nurses through the hall slammed into your head like a hammer, and you found yourself clinging to Joel, twisting his cotton shirt until it stretched between your fingers.

“It’s okay, baby,” Joel crooned. “I got you. Ain’t lettin’ you go.”

Mom guided you to the room where Stella was perched on a chair beside the bed. You averted your eyes from your dad, refusing to look. Stella turned to see you walk in and immediately sprinted into your arms, sobbing into your chest.

“I know. I know,” you cried.

“I was so scared it was going to happen again, sis,” she muttered.

“They said he was okay, right? It’s not going to happen to him,” you assured.

“But what if it does? What if he wakes up and doesn’t remember—.”

“Don’t,” you interjected. “Don’t say it.”

She peeled herself from you and wiped away her tears. Joel stepped forward, his hand pressed to your lower back, as he made his way to introduce himself.

“I’m Joel,” he smiled, extending his hand.

Stella flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling into his chest. Your mom watched them with a knowing look, something you couldn’t discern.

“I’ve heard so much about you,” she sighed.

Weird. You only really talked to Beth about Joel and didn’t expect her to share it with anyone except your mom.

Joel rubbed her shoulders gently, then pulled away.

“Likewise, Stell.”

Stell. You didn’t recall calling her that in front of Joel; that nickname was reserved for you and only you. Your head was pounding, and the nagging feeling that you were losing grip on reality was slowly settling in. You worked so hard to remember everything; it wouldn’t happen again. Not now.

“You okay, sweetie?” Your mom cautioned, stepping beside you.

Her voice roused you from your confusion, and you made the mistake of looking at your dad for the first time. He looked so much smaller, lying in the hospital bed: a breathing tube situated under his nose and IVs running through the bend of his arm. Oh God, and his face. Both of his eyes were rimmed in dark bruises, and a thick layer of bandages was wrapped over his forehead. Was that how you looked all those years ago? Your stomach churned with nausea the longer you looked at him. The whirring of the machines in the room dizzied you, and you felt your body swaying in place. Joel quickly steadied you, his arms coming around your front to lock you into a tight hold.

“You’re okay, baby,” he murmured into your ear.

“Do you want to be alone with him, sweetie?” Your mom asked.

“Please,” you said, nodding.

Joel kissed the crown of your head before following your mom and Stella out into the hall. You glanced over your shoulder to see them all huddled together, the cracked blinds inside the room obstructing your view of what they were saying. You’d ask Joel about it later.

Turning back to your dad, you let the real tears fall. The ugly, gut-wrenching ones you had held back for so long. Tears that weren’t just for him, but for you as well. No one in your family knew the fear and pain that came with a head injury. No one could understand you—not even Bennett, despite everything he tried to say and do. You were alone in its entirety, but you’d be damned if your dad dealt with the same.

Cradling his hand in yours, you drew circles over his calloused skin with your thumb. You didn’t have words to express your pain, so you sat in silence. The constant repetition of machinery beeping throbbed through the recesses of your brain, a migraine looming on the horizon. You’d suffer with it later, but it would be worth it just to stay in this moment a few seconds longer.

“I love you, dad,” you whispered.

You didn’t know if he could hear you, but you hoped he did.

You remained silent for a few more minutes and glanced at the clock above the bed. 3: 13 AM. You hadn’t realized how much of the day had drained away, and the fatigue in your body was settling in rapidly. You wanted to lie down and wake up when everything was better, but it all came with time. And you hated that. You hated time and things it had stolen from you.

A light rap on the door startled you from your silent cocoon, and you turned to see Joel peeking in through the window. You motioned him to come in, and he bent beside the bed, his hand resting on your thigh.

“How ya’ doin’, baby?” He asked softly.

“I’m tired,” you lamented.

He smoothed his hand over your legs, the warmth of his touch radiating through your body. You leaned into his touch, letting your head rest on his.

“I’m gonna ask Beth if we can take the car and go home,” you said. “I can’t be here anymore, and I need sleep.”

“We can do that. Your mom said they’re gonna take him for surgery in a few, anyway. No point stickin’ around if we’d just be waitin’.”

“When he’s out of surgery, they can call me, and we can come back.”

“Sounds like a plan, baby. Let’s get you home.”

Joel offered to drive Beth’s car back to the house. You sat beside him, your head propped in your hand, watching as he drove through the city streets. Even cast in the late night sky, he was so handsome. The rich tan color of his skin seemed to be illuminated by the moonlight glinting through the windshield, his brown eyes softer than you’d ever seen. There wasn’t a trace of a smile on his lips, but he still looked so kind and so loving. Joel glanced over at you as the car slowed in front of the red light.

“What’s that look for?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m just really thankful you’re here,” you exhaled. “I’m sorry you had to see me so angry earlier. It wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you.”

Joel leaned over the dash to pull you in for a soft, fleeting kiss.

“There’s a lot happenin’ right now, baby. Be angry all y’want. I can take it,” he said.

You chewed on your lip and nodded, turning your attention back to the street as the light turned green. Joel drove in silence the rest of the way to your parent's house, guiding him quietly with directions every few turns. Even though it had only been a few weeks since you were last home, the streets were scattered with yellow and orange leaves, autumn settling over the neighborhood. The car's tires flattened over them as Joel slowed to the front of the house and killed the engine.

“This where y’grew up?” Joel asked, tilting his head toward the house.

You nodded, but your eyes were glued to the porch. The ladder was still lying on the ground; the metal pressed into the cold grass of the front lawn. Joel must’ve picked up on your fixation and sighed.

“I’ll go pick it up, baby. Why don’t you grab your bag and head in, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” But your eyes didn’t stray from the ladder.

You watched Joel reach the ladder, his body a beacon under the moonlight. His tall figure moved against the cover of the night sky, working quickly to move it off to the side of the house. You took an extra moment to collect yourself before gathering your bags and meeting him on the porch. Joel took them immediately from your hands as you guided him into the house. You’d give him a tour of it tomorrow; you just wanted to curl under the covers of your bed and waste away.

When you opened the door to your bedroom, Joel gave a low whistle, glancing around at the artifacts of your childhood. Miscellaneous pictures of you and your sisters hung on the walls, along with a collection of CDs stacked on the floor in one corner and a reading nook built into the windowsill. The dated white armoire was nestled against the wall beside your vanity, and the large queen bed sat untouched and nicely made with its white comforter and grey pillows.

“Nice lil’ room y’got here, baby,” Joel chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s alright,” you shrugged.

You dumped your bag on the ground, collapsing backward until your back hit the bed with a soft thud. Joel followed your lead, and you both lay there silently, staring at the ceiling fan as it spun in circles. It was tempting just to succumb to sleep right in that moment, but you knew you needed a shower to wash off the lingering stress of the day.

“Come shower with me?” You asked, glancing over at Joel.

“Of course.”

The heat of the shower pelted your skin as Joel rubbed a loufa into your back muscles, working out the knots that had materialized through the long day. You basked in the warmth of his body pressed into yours, your head falling back against his muscular chest and eyes drifting shut. His tender touch helped alleviate the pressure building in your head, and you prayed that the migraine would subside soon enough.

“Doin’ okay, baby?” He asked, his mouth pressing into the side of your neck.

You hummed at his lips on your skin, bringing your arm up to wrap around the back of his neck. His fingers drifted over the curves of your body, squeezing your hips softly before trailing between your legs.

“Can I?”

“Mhmm,” you sighed, shifting your body slightly so that he could explore further.

His hand dipped between your legs, your arousal already pooling at your entrance. He was slow with his touch, each graze of his fingers over your sensitive bud eliciting a soft moan from your lips. Joel’s mouth roamed over the expanse of your neck as he continued to draw circles over your throbbing clit. Your fingers tugged at his wet curls, urging him closer. The blood coursing through your veins thrummed with pleasure as he teased the build-up of your release.

“You’re beautiful, baby. Y’know that?” He whispered in your ear.

Maybe it was the gentle touch of his fingers or his words swimming through your mind, but your climax shattered you into pieces in record time. Your thighs clenched tight around his hand as you let out a soft cry.

“That’s it,” he crooned. “Let go, baby.”

You slumped against his body, your heart settling back into a normal rhythm. Joel held you close, wrapping his arms around your front and swaying you under the spray of the water. Your eyes grew heavy the longer you remained in his embrace, so you decided to cut the water and drag him out and into bed.

Under the security of your comforter, you clung to Joel and buried your head into the crook of his arm. He traced circles over your bare arm, letting you lay quietly against him. The familiar pressure of a migraine began forming in your mind, the pounding ache settling behind your eyes. You squeezed your eyes tighter, curling yourself up into his body in hopes it would fade away as you slept.

“What’s wrong?” Joel asked, noticing the tension paralyzing your muscles.

“Migraine,” you choked out.

“What do y’need? I can go get it.”

“No, I’m fine,” you lied. “Just stay here. Please.”

“These happen often?”

“Not in a while.” You couldn’t find the strength to form complete sentences, so the words came out choppy and pained.

“Will sleep help?”

“I hope,” you muttered, tears slipping down your cheeks.

Joel’s arms tightened around your body, anchoring you to his side as he hummed softly into your hair. Pain pulsated through your head as you forced yourself to fall asleep, your limbs shaking as they wrapped around his torso.

All you wanted was for the pain to go away.

A few hours later, the morning light dancing through the window stirred you awake. The residual aching pain in your head still lingered, but it was far more manageable than it had been before you fell asleep. Joel snored softly beside you, and you took the chance to watch him as he slept peacefully beside you. The creases in his skin were softened in his slumber, his face relaxed and calm. His lips were parted slightly, the bottom one plush and pouty and tempting to kiss. You nestled into his body, your mouth roaming over his scruffy jaw and eventually reaching his lips. The strange urge to say I love you nearly tumbled out of your mouth as you kissed him, but you swallowed it and saved it away. It was the first time you thought those three little words in the space with someone other than Bennett. Knowing Joel was digging closer to your heart, breaking down every barrier and wall, it was still frightening. But if this sudden trip had taught you anything, he was right; this was real. You weren’t ready to confess those words, but in time you would.

Just not now.

Joel roused himself from sleep, groaning softly as he pulled you in for a gentle kiss.

“Mornin’, baby. How’s your head feelin’?”

“Better,” you sighed.

“Ready to go back to the hospital?”

You groaned, shoving your head under the comforter.

“I hate it there.”

He squeezed your side, urging you back up to the surface. Your eyes connected with his, the morning light coloring his eyes a rich shade of amber. Flecks of gold scattered through his irises, blending into the rich chocolate brown you were drawn to.

“Why do y’hate it so much?” He wondered.

“I—I just don’t have good memories of it.”

“Y’wanna talk to me ‘bout it?”

You rolled onto your back, closing your eyes as the memories waded through the headache still swimming in your head.

“Bennett, there’s a chance this could actually work,” you begged.

“I’m not risking it. What if it doesn’t work and things get worse?” He argued. “Isn’t it easier to just move forward?”

You rubbed circles into your temples, trying to soften the onset migraine surging to the surface. All this arguing was making you nauseous and tired. Why wouldn’t Bennett be on your side about this? Why wasn’t he agreeing with you?

“I want to remember,” you lamented. “I want those two years back.”

“The doctors said it’ll take time. Why isn’t that enough?” Bennett sighed, crouching down to meet you at eye level.

“You don’t understand, Bennett.”

“I’m trying,” he snapped.

It was the first time you’d experienced his anger in such a way. He wasn’t taking your side, and he wasn’t even listening to your requests. You could only nod and cave to his arguments; he was the one holding the power now. You had to trust him.

Situating yourself against the headboard, you inhaled sharply and glanced at Joel.

“I might as well tell you since everyone is on my case about it,” you groaned.

“Only if you wanna, baby. I ain’t gonna force you,” Joel sighed, looking up at you.

Giving yourself a moment to gather your thoughts, you dove into the story.

“I was in an accident when I was twenty-two, or I guess twenty-four. The last thing I remember was being twenty-two and just moving to Austin with Bennett. We had just moved into our apartment, and I was about to start substitute teaching while finishing my Master's degree. Everything was great. Then, I got in an accident on the way home from school, and the next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital.

“I guess in the crash, my head hit the dashboard hard enough to cause serious damage to my brain. They—the doctors, told me I had sustained enough trauma to cause retrograde amnesia. I woke up thinking I was still twenty-two, Joel. I lost two years of my life. I couldn’t remember a single thing.”

“Oh, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he whispered, propping himself on his elbows.

“Bennett tried to fill me in on pieces of it, but trying to remember did more damage than anything,” you continued. “I had migraines all the time. I could barely function for the first couple of months, and that’s when my parents talked me into coming back here. To Mass General. They ran so many tests on me and tried to find solutions, but there was no hope. Bennett was adamant about not causing any more damage to my brain, so I just gave up,” you explained.

“You gave up tryin’ to remember?” He asked, pulling himself up to sit beside you. There was a deep furrow between his brows and a noticeable shift in his body language. Everything was tense, from his jaw to how his fists clenched together.

“Yeah. I trusted Bennett with the memories I no longer had and knew he would take care of me. Or at least, I hoped he would. The doctors suggested I stay in Boston to go through psychotherapy to help try and piece together those memories, but Bennett was against it. It caused a huge riff in my family since they wanted me to stay and get help.”

“He kept you from rememberin’ things,” Joel frowned.

You nodded, digging your knuckles into your eyes to try and push away the pressure building behind them again.

“We were here for almost two months, just constantly going in and out of the hospital. I’d have these debilitating migraines that would lead to fainting spells, so I was always back at the emergency room for more testing. The outcome was always the same, though. I felt so defeated every time like it was my fault,” you confessed.

Joel laid a hand on your thigh, smoothing over your skin as you tried to drag in a lungful of air.

“It ain’t your fault though, baby,” he assured.

“I should have advocated for myself more. I just did whatever Bennett said because he knew things I couldn’t remember. He even proposed here. He made this big, long speech about how he never wanted to face the fear of losing me again, and I went with it because I loved him. I loved him enough to do whatever he said because I owed it to him.”

“You were tryna heal from everythin’,” he offered, trying to make sense of it all. “It’s not your fault for what happened after.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“But it is,” you argued. “It’s my fault Bennett left. If I thought our fights before the crash were bad… It only got worse. We moved out of our apartment and got this big house. We decided to speed through our engagement for the sake of my fucking memory. All the while, Bennett just started to get angrier and angrier. I was trying so hard to remember things, and he just started to remember less. He was always fighting with me over every little thing. He barely touched me or looked at me. For fuck sake, he wouldn’t even sleep in the same bed as me! It’s like he didn’t want me to have those memories back, and I just—I don’t understand why.”

Joel pulled your head into his hands, his eyes darkening as he stared at you. His thumbs rubbed over your cheekbones in an attempt to calm your rambling. You wanted to flinch away from his touch, but he only held you tighter.

“None of this is your fault,” he emphasized.

“It is, though,” you sniffled. The tears were ready to slip at any moment. “He wanted the girl I was before the crash, and I was so hell-bent on trying to fix my memory that I stopped being that version of myself. I couldn’t be what he wanted, so he left. I wasn’t enough, Joel. I couldn’t fight for him to stay because he didn’t want me. I—I’m so fucked up, Joel.”

Joel’s nostrils flared, a wash of anger clouding his eyes. But you knew it wasn’t anger toward you. It was toward Bennett.

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” he snapped. “You’re not fucked up. Bennett was an asshole, and I swear I’d kill him if I could.”

“That’s not funny,” you deadpanned.

“It wasn’t meant to be funny, baby. I’m serious. Ain’t no way y’went through hell and back for him to do that to you. Y’didn’t get the time to heal because you were so focused on tryin’ to make him happy, and he didn’t deserve you. You know that, right? None of this is your fault.”

You shrugged off his hands and scooted out of the warmth of the bed. Digging through your bag, you pulled out a change of clothes, carelessly throwing an outfit together while Joel sat motionless on the bed.

“Baby,” Joel pleaded. “Stop for a minute, ‘kay? Are you listenin’ to me?”

He threw back the covers and strode to where you stood, your arms halfway into a sweater. He helped tug it the rest of the way, settling it over your body before reeling you in for a long kiss. It was his weapon for shutting you up, and he was really fucking good at using it. You dragged yourself away from his mouth, staggering back until there was enough distance between you and him.

“I should have fucking listened to everyone,” you heaved. “I should have fucking stayed in Boston, but I wanted to prove I could do it. I wanted to prove I could continue living with this fucked up part of myself.”

Joel cautioned your name, and you took another step back.

“Look at me, Joel!” You laughed. “I’m fucked up! I still can’t remember a damn fucking thing, and being here is only a brutal reminder of that. I lost so much of myself because of that accident. And I swear to God, if I lose my dad, too. I—I can’t…”

Your knees hit the ground before it even registered in your mind. Joel was quick to drop to the floor in front of you, pulling you into his lap as the sobs wracked through your body. You rocked yourself back and forth as Joel’s arms wound into a vice around your chest. He hushed you softly as you audibly cried loud enough to echo around the room.

“You aren’t gonna lose him,” Joel whispered in your ear.

“What if—.” You choked on another cry.

“Breathe with me, baby. Just breathe. C’mon.”

Joel inhaled loudly, coaxing you to do the same. You followed his lead, exhaling when he instructed to. You both repeated it a few more times until you felt the surge of emotions slow.

“That’s it, baby,” he sighed. “I’m right here with you. Everythin’ is gonna be okay.”

You burrowed your head into his chest, your tears dampening his bare chest. How was he not running away from you? You laid all your damaged pieces out, and he still had his arms around you. You didn’t deserve it. You couldn’t make sense of it.

“What do y’say we get back to the hospital?” Joel offered after a moment. “We can check in and see how the surgery went. It’ll give you some peace of mind.”

“Okay,” you acquiesced.

Joel helped you to your feet, and you both finished changing in silence. You grabbed your purse and followed Joel to the car, and you both returned to Mass General.

“He’s fine, honey,” your mom said, giving you a weak smile.

You were all crowded in the hospital room surrounding your dad as he lay unconscious on the bed.

“The doctors say he’s going to make a full recovery,” she continued. “They’re going to slow the sedative down, and hopefully, he’ll be waking up in the next day or so.”

Beth and Stella stood close together, Stella’s head resting on Beth’s shoulder. Their expressions were painted with relief, and you felt your muscles loosen at the news.

“So, we just wait?” You asked.

“We will wait,” your mom corrected. “You and Joel should go back to Austin. There’s no point sticking around now that we know he’s alright.”

You turned to stare at her, your lips twisting into a scowl.

“I am not leaving until he wakes up,” you argued.

“We’ll call right when he wakes up,” she offered. “I know being here is hard for you, honey. And you’ve got a job that needs you.”

“Mom!” You shouted. It was loud enough to startle everyone. “I’m not leaving.”

“She’s right, baby,” Joel chimed in. “He’s gonna be okay.”

“I want to stay.”

“Look, let’s make a deal. We stay another day and then go home, okay?”

You glanced between everyone in the room, finally settling your eyes on your dad, still unconscious in the bed. Everyone was right, but you didn’t want to leave yet. You weren’t ready. Even if being here felt like hell.

“One more day,” you agreed.

You remained at the hospital most of the day, shifting between the waiting room and your dad’s room. Everyone took turns visiting him and meeting with doctors, and Joel stayed at your side every minute. Stella took a liking to him most out of everyone, spending a good majority of the time talking his ear off about Sarah. Seeing Joel engage with her as he did was endearing as if they knew each other and were old friends catching up. He treated everyone in your family so kindly that it was hard to continue shoving down those three little words. You wanted to say them more than ever…but weren’t sure when you’d feel ready.

Eventually, the day faded into night, and your mom urged everyone to go home while she insisted on staying. You didn’t know when she had slept last, but she was adamant about staying with your dad. Beth drove you all home, humming some song that floated through the radio. As the house came into view, she dialed down the volume and turned toward the backseat.

“Joel, Stella, will you guys head in while I talk to sis?” Beth asked as she parked the car.

You gave her a confused stare as they filed out and walked up the driveway toward the house.

“Did you tell him?” She asked, turning to look at you.

Her eyes were dark with heavy circles, and her lips stuck in a straight line.

“I did,” you nodded.

“What did he say?”

“He just sympathized with me. There’s not much else to say,” you shrugged.

“That’s it?” She pressed, her brows scrunching together.

You scoffed, glancing out the side window.

“What did you want him to say, Beth? There isn’t much to say when you tell someone your memory is all fucked up.”

“I just figured he’d say more,” she offered.

“Like what?” You snapped. “Nothing he says is going to magically make it better.”

“I know, I know. I just thought he’d say more.”

You stared at her, the tiredness creeping into your bones. You didn’t want to argue anymore, not about this or anything.

“Can we just go in? I’m tired,” you said.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Beth and Stella offered to make dinner that night, all four of you quietly eating in heavy silence as the evening drifted later. Once dinner was all said and done, you and Joel retired to your room, curling up under the covers once again. You tangled your legs between his and kissed up his chest and under his jaw.

“Baby,” he warned. “The girls are right down the hall. Don’t be doin’ that.”

“Why?” You questioned, continuing the path up his cheek and to his lips.

Joel captured your mouth in a hungry kiss, his hands tangling in your hair. You moaned softly as the kiss deepened, his hands roaming over your body.

“I want you, Joel,” you whispered against his mouth.

“Baby, we can’t,” he groaned. But he didn’t stop kissing you.

He rolled his body over yours, pinning you to the bed as his hand slid under your pajama bottoms. You bucked into his hand, searching for a fleeting touch to quell the ache growing between your thighs. Joel responded to your desperation, slipping a finger between your slick folds.

“I’ll be quiet,” you promised. “Just keep kissing me.”

Joel relented to your pleas, locking his mouth with yours again. He added another finger, plunging them inside you as you cried out at the pressure. His teeth quickly bit down on your bottom lip, a silent demand to keep your voice down.

“Sorry,” you exhaled.

“Be good for me, baby,” he whispered.

His fingers abandoned you, but it was barely a moment of loss before he sank his cock into you. You used all your strength to hold back a groan of relief as the slight sting of your body stretching to him faded into bliss. Joel kept his hands tangled in your hair as he rocked into you, your bodies moving in unison as he drove himself deeper with each thrust.

“Joel…” You whimpered against his mouth.

“Stay quiet, baby.”

His mouth roamed down the column of your throat, sucking gently at your skin as he reached one arm down to hook around the back of your knee. The change in position only sent his cock deeper inside you, your core clenching around him with every drive of his hips.

“It feels so good,” you panted, rolling your hips. “I’m so close, Joel. Don’t stop.”

“Good girl,” he hummed. “Cum for me, baby.”

His hips snapped harder against you, and you bit back another cry of pleasure. Your body thrummed with the need for release, the waves crashing inside you growing stronger. Just a little more… a little more. Joel’s other hand snaked between your bodies, his fingers brushing over your clit. You arched into his touch and ground your nails into the skin of his biceps.

“Joel,” you choked.

The orgasm exploded through you, fogging your vision as your core pulsated around his cock. Joel let out a strangled groan and tumbled over the edge with you, his release filling you only seconds later.

Joel collapsed against your body, his cock slipping out of you as it softened. You welcomed the weight of him, letting his skin meld into yours. I love you. It was just a breath from escaping your lips, but you kept it shoved down.

Another time, you told yourself.

“Can I sleep like this?” Joel chuckled, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Whatever you want, handsome,” you giggled.

He peered up at you, a grin curving over his face.

“There’s that word again,” he smirked.

“Oh, shut up. You like it.”

“I really fuckin’ do.”

You bent your neck to kiss his forehead before settling back against the pillow. It was easier to sleep like this, knowing you’d have him in your arms when you woke up. It made everything inside you hurt less.

After an extra day at the hospital, nothing new had progressed with your dad. Your mom assured you that she would call if she had any news of him waking up, so you and Joel said your goodbyes and made the trip back to Austin.

Nothing had changed in Austin, not that you were expecting it to. Joel returned home after spending an extra few hours under your bed sheets with you, groaning about not wanting to leave. You urged him to go, knowing Sarah was probably missing him. That first night home alone was the hardest; the nightmares continued again now that you had no distractions. The migraine had returned at full throttle when you woke up the next morning, and you had to make an extra effort to pull yourself from bed and dress for work. Not a single cell in your body wanted to return to a classroom full of loud kids, but you had missed enough days and needed to make up for lost time.

Maria was the first to drill you with questions as you arrived at the school.

“Is everything okay? I asked around and only heard that it was a family emergency.”

You shuffled into your classroom, Maria hot on your heels. You could barely stand the stream of light coming through the windows, let alone the sound of her voice.

“My dad had an accident, that’s all,” you assured. “Everything is okay.”

“Oh, thank God he’s okay.” She flung her arms around you, giving you a suffocating hug.

You peeled away from her, steadying your body against the corner of your desk.

“I’ll tell you more later, okay? I just need to prep for classes before the first bell.”

“I’ll check in on you later,” she announced before leaving.

The day moved on slowly, and before you knew it, your final class was over. As the students filed out, you started gathering your things but noticed Sarah lingered behind.

“Everything okay, sweetie?” You asked as she approached your desk.

“Um, kinda?” She gave you a sheepish look. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course, sweetheart. What’s going on?”

She shifted her weight between her legs, her hazel eyes on the floor.

“Are you dating my dad?”

Your breath stalled, and you were unsure of what to say or do. Was it appropriate to lie? You and Joel hadn’t discussed the possibility of her finding out much and now was definitely not the time.

“Why do you ask?” You were deflecting.

“I overheard him talking to my Uncle Tommy last night,” she explained.

Your heart pounded in your chest, and blood rushed through your ears. God, what had they said? What did she hear?

“Go on,” you insisted, your voice unsteady.

“My dad told Uncle Tommy he loved you.”

At that moment, her hazel eyes met yours, and everything came crashing down. You tripped over your words and found yourself gripping the desk.

“Miss Smith?” Sarah cautioned.

“I’m sure your dad was talking about someone else,” you lied. “Why don’t you head home? I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She looked at you with confusion written all over her face but eventually followed your request and left you in an empty room.

You sank into your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose. You knew Joel’s feelings were there for you, but you didn’t want to hear it from Sarah. You wanted to hear it from him. Searching for your purse, you found your phone and dialed his number with shaking hands.

He answered immediately.

“Did y’hear from your mom?” He asked in a rush.

“No, it’s not that. Can you—” You steadied your breathing. “Can you just meet me at my house?”

“Of course, is everythin’ okay? You’re worryin’ me.”

“I’m fine, Joel. I’ll see you there in a few.”

You hung up before he could say anymore and be-lined for your car. You drove home on autopilot, the words jumbling together in your head.

I think he’s already falling in love with you.

My dad told Uncle Tommy he loved you.

Over and over again, Beth and Sarah’s voices played on a loop. You turned onto your street and blinked back tears. You weren’t ready to face this. What were you going to say? What would Joel say? What would—

You slammed on your brakes right before you got to your house.

Joel’s truck wasn’t there.

But Bennett’s car was.

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader #joel x f!reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel x teacher!f!reader #joel miller #tlou #tlou fanfic #joel miller fanfic #pre outbreak!joel #angst angst angst #joel miller smut #joel miller tlou

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kitagal · 1 month ago

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My Purse Essentials 4 Fall/Winter

Did anyone ask for this? No, but if I can just help out one person, it's totally worth it ! :3

Lets get to it !

1) Medicine. You never know when you'll need it ! I carry it all in a little My Melody pillbox and refill it when needed.

Advil, Dramamine, and Allegra.

2) Hand/Nail care ! Especially during these colder months, it's important to keep your hands and cuticles hydrated to avoid flaking and sometimes even cracking. It runs in my family :/

Peach scented cuticle oil and hand & cuticle lotion. (The crème shop is the best imo ! and all their products are cute, too!)

Glass nail file. Better than normal nail files and breakage is less likely to occur. I have a Hello Kitty one I got from Miniso for $5 !

3) Self defense. The world is a scary place and unfortunately a girl's gotta defend herself somehow !

Knife from a local store here ! But amazon has lots of affordable options too !

4) Hygiene products ! It's important for me, personally, to always feel clean. If I feel all icky my mood starts getting icky too.

Spare pad, spare panty liner, baby wipes, and hand wipes incase my hands get sticky from food or anything like that.

Bathroom spray ! I got a travel sized poo-pourri spray in the stocking stuffers aisle at Target !

A small pack of Extra gum, just incase I'm out and about and I just ate somethin stinky. I actually recommend the popular TikTok gum thats made with natural minerals that clean your teeth and keep your breath fresh ! I'm saving up for some with my boyfriend , but Ive seen outstanding reviews ! :0

5) Beauty products ! If you're like me, you wear makeup fairly often, even if it's just something as simple as some eyeliner.

e.l.f. jet black liquid eyeliner, just in case mine smudges or starts to fade. this isnt usually an issue in the colder seasons, but it's still good to be prepared !

chapstick and lipgloss ! its extremely important now of all times to keep your lippies hydrated!

KISS nail glue, incase my nails pop off from doing stuff at work lol. I dont go anywhere without this, you wont catch me missing a nail !

6) My wallet and identification, obviously!

BRING YOUR ID EVERYWHERE WITH YOU ! im sure some people are like, elle, thats common sense. but until i was 18 i would forget my ID or not bring it on purpose as I was scared to lose it lmao. do not be like younger me. you never know when you'll need it.

And finally, thats the end of it! I may update this in the future, but I hope this is helpful to anyone ! Thx for reading hehe ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

#girlblogging #girlblog #girlblogger #that girl #dream girl #it girl #self care #glow up #wellness #aesthetic #self improvement #self development #cutecore #kawaii #gyaru

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twilghtkoo · 10 months ago

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pairings. jungkook x reader (f)

genre. comfort/fluff

warnings. reader is on her period, mentions of blood (period blood) stain, crying

notes. im on my period and have been moody and sad so here u go :D

"baby?" his voice echoed from somewhere in your room, the sound of footsteps soon following as he appears in front of you with that bunny smile on his face.

you're sliding your shoes off and tiredly shrugging off your bag from your shoulders along with the one grocery bag in your hand, not caring at this time that it has landed on the floor.

you glance up at your favorite person with a small smile and reach for him. the sides of his lips tilt upwards knowingly, you've voiced out in the past that coming home and being engulfed in one of his hugs is the best feeling.

he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around your neck as your tiny ones squeeze his small waist, your fingers gripping the fabric of his lose shirt.

one hand of his cradles the back of your head, inhaling the soft scent of coconut from your hair, the smell weighing him into your warmth and familiarity. his other hand traveling down to the lower area of your back, rubbing up and down.

"long day baby?" he softly asks.

just the reminder of the terrible day you've had, brought tears to your eyes. so you clung onto him tighter, if that was possible.

you nuzzle your head into his chest, sighing. "you don't even know."

he hums expectantly.

"i started my period yesterday and today on the bus as i was getting off, this girl who looked to be in high school- she was really nice- but she said i bled through. and with my luck, i indeed did bleed through. i wanted to cry kook. thankfully, i had a jacket so i tied that around me and before heading to campus i stopped by the nearest store and had to get pads because guess what kook? guess what? i ran out of pads in my purse!" you don't even realize you were crying until jungkook was petting the back of your head and shushing you.

you continued. "and the freaking pads were expensive, jesus inflation is crazy kook. and it was a small pack too! i also bought me sweats to change into. so yeah, that's how my day went. god, i hate myself." you sniffed.

he pulls away from you, your arms still circled around his waist. he looks down at you, frowning as he holds your face in his hands. wiping away tears that wetted your cheeks. "hey, don't hate yourself. i'm sorry you had a bad day baby. i'm glad that girl told you nicely about it. and you have my card still, did you use my card to buy those pads and your sweatpants?"

you shake your head, your face still in his hands.

he tsks at you, lightly squeezing your cheeks together. "you have my card, you should've used it baby. that's why i gave it to you."

you poke your bottom lip out. "no, you gave it to me because you didn't have pockets that one day." you argued, not sure why.

he pokes your side making you jolt in his grasp. "don't fight with me babe, you know that if you have my card, you're welcome to use it." he reasons, going back to cradling your head beneath his chin.

you sniffed again. "sorry, it just doesn't feel right to use it without you with me."

he whispers 'i know' into your ear, it falls silent between you two, but you don't care because it's comforting and it feels really good in jungkook's arms right now.

"can i kiss you?" your question comes out mumbled with your face against his chest.

you feel and hear him chuckle as he leans back. "what was that?"

you roll your eyes, almost regretting you asked. "you heard me, stop."

he laughs again, shaking his head. the beauty mark beneath his bottom lip enticing you and it doesn't go unnoticed by him. "i don't think i did."

you huff, "i said can i kiss you." you could feel your cheeks heat up from his passionate stare.

not wanting to tease you anymore, he nods. staring down at your lips, the soft reddish pink tint warms something in chest knowing it'll stain his lips as well, but it excites him.

#twilghtkoo #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenarios #bts fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook comfort #bts drabble #bts scenarios

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tonberry-yoda · 1 year ago

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Interdimensional Hell - Miguel O'Hara

notes - FOR THE POLL!!!! This has been in the works for a while, but here it is! It's a long ass fic with my whole heart and soul packed into it (+ the beautiful addition of not being proofread lolol) and I am so exited to share! I hope my Miguel lovers enjoy this fic!! <3 word count - 4,060 (omfg this is my longest fic on tumblr LMFAOOOO) WARNINGS - lots of angst, not proofread, f!reader, mentions of a near panic attack summary - you were Miguel O'Hara's wife. You were more than happy to be with someone like him, but was unfortunately taken away from your family when your world was torn apart by what looked like a glitching videogame. Now you travel through dimension after dimension looking for your family and will stop at nothing to do so while also having some fun along the way

“Gabriella!” You were close to tears as your daughter ran to you, jumping into your arms.

“Mamma, did you see that?” she said with a bright smile, sweat beading on her forehead. “When I kicked the ball, it was like BAM and then it went FWOOSH and then we won!!”

“I did see that, baby. I am so darn proud of you.” You pinched her nose, giving it a little kiss as your husband walked up holding an ice cream cone.

“Did you see that, papa?” she asked as he handed her the ice cream.

“Of course I did. You are so talented.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. She thanked him for the cone and giggled as he threw her on his back for a piggyback ride.

“You got that on video, didn’t you, Miguel?” you asked, scruffing Gabriella’s hair.

“Yup.” he responded, bouncing Gabriella and telling her how proud he was of her. God, his smile was perfect.

You pulled out the camera from its bag and filmed your husband and daughter. Literally nothing could be better than this.

Gabreiella giggled and made fun of Miguel before slamming the ice cream in his face, the two breaking out in laughter. When he set her on the ground, he gave her a five second head start to run out in the field before he would come after her, telling her to be careful with the ice cream.

He looked up at you and you giggled. “Miguel, you’re face, love.”

“What? What’re you–” he chuckled as he wiped ice cream off of his face. “Did I get it?” he asked.

“Hold on.” You set down the camera and pulled a baby wipe out of your bag, dabbing it on Miguel’s face.

“It’s been five seconds now!” Gabriella shouted from the other side of the field.

Miguel kissed your cheek and dashed after his daughter. You smiled at the camera before turning it off.

Nothing lasts forever.

You heard that from everyone, but you hated that it was true.

Even the happiest month of your life can turn to shit really fast.

When the world started glitching, you thought you were losing your mind. You worked from home and Miguel was out with Gabriella for the day. You looked to the corner of your room and it… glitched. Like something out of a movie. You never told anyone, especially when it kept happening. You thought that no one else saw it, that it was your mind playing tricks.

But when it kept happening, you knew something was wrong.

And when the world ended, you were right, and you knew you would never see your family ever again.

You ran out into the streets and saw people running, the world behind them disappearing, and even some of them faded into nothingness. You wanted to scream, cry, anything. But you froze, watching the colossal whatever it was coming for you. And then you saw something else. It looked different than the giant glitching wall. It was small and no bigger than the gap under a bed. You jumped in without even thinking. You were going to die anyway, so why not be a little reckless?

As you felt like you were falling for days, you thought of your daughter. Why didn’t you go after her? You felt like a terrible mother and curled into a ball, crying. No one was coming to save you and you weren't coming to save anyone. The world wasn’t what it used to be a month ago, a week ago, hell, it wasn’t even this bad a day ago. You cried for your family, knowing that you couldn't do a thing for them and then everything went black.

—

“Is she alive?” you heard a voice say, but couldn't see where it came from.

“I sure hope so. I don't get paid enough for someone to die here.”

“Well check!”

You felt cold hands brush your forehead and you jerked awake, coughing and trying not to scream.

“Woah, woah!” you heard the voice from the start say. “Everything’s fine. We’re not gonna hurt you.” You saw that the voice came from a boy with bright blonde hair and a cybernetic eye.

The other one was a man with brown hair, who looked like he could crush you – tan skin and muscles bigger than you.

You went to say something, but glitched, making the two men jump back.

“Woah there!” the blonde one said. “You’re not from here, are you?”

You just shook your head and could already feel a headache forming.

“I don't have time for this,” the bigger one said. “I have a shop to run.”

“At least give the girl a watch! She looks stressed out enough and I think the last thing we need to do is have her glitching.”

“I think the last thing we need to do is deal with someone that isn't from here. That happens far too often, don't you think, Spike? You have too much sympathy for the outsiders.”

“And what if I do?” Spike asked, crossing his arms. “I don't think you have enough, Wade.”

Spike walked away from you and opened a large cabinet from above Wade’s head, pulling out a bright green watch. He slipped it on your wrist and proceeded to click a few buttons and everything tense inside of you strangely managed to slip away.

You took a deep breath and smiled at Spike. “Thank you,” you said to him. “It’s been a really long day.”

“I can tell,” he chuckled. “First time out of your dimension?”

You nodded and adjusted the watch.

“Well, make sure to keep that bad boy locked in place. Don't want to be outside of your dimension without one or else… well, think bad, but worse.” He sat in a rolly chair and spun to his computer. “Can you do me a favor, missy?”

“Anything.” you said. He had been more than willing to help you, so you were more than willing to do the same.

“Stand on that little circle over there for me.” He pointed to a large purple circle in the middle of the room and you tilted your head, but still walked over to it with no hesitation.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“I'm gonna scan you, but don't be scared. This bad boy will help you get home safe.”

You went to speak up, telling him that you weren’t so sure it was a good idea, but he interrupted you.

“Wade, help me out here! Let’s get her out of here.”

“Finally.” Wade scoffed. He walked over to you and held your arms up, strapping them to two mechanical devices on either side of you that then held your arms to make you in the shape of a Y.

“This won't hurt a bit, doll.” Spike said, clicking a button on his computer. A bright light scanned you up and down and you looked at Spike, who held his chin and tilted his head. “Huh. That’s weird. Let me try again.” He clicked the button again and looked at you with confusion. When the cycle finished, he looked astonished. “Babe, where did you say you were from again?”

“That’s what I’ve been meaning to tell you.” you said, shuffling in your spot. “My world was a big glitching mess. And then I found a little hole and appeared here. I don't know if I have a home anymore.”

Wade sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. “Great,” he whispered. “This can't be good.”

Spike leaned back in his chair and looked at the confusion on your face. “This isn’t your fault, love. But bad news, you can't go home. Because uh… I don't think home exists for you.”

All you remember after that was crying. You sat on the floor after the devices let you go and Spike rubbed your back, reassuring you that everything was going to be okay.

Of course, you knew that everything wasn’t going to be okay.

You were already exhausted and you realized it hadn’t even been a day.

“So, what am I supposed to do?” you asked, playing with the watch you were given.

“I would be more than happy to let you stay here,” Spike said, rubbing your back. “We have an extra room, we just have to clean it out a bit.”

“I don't want to be a burden.”

“It’ll just be for a little while,” he reassured you. “Now, I know this cyberpunk city of ours can seem like a lot once you step out of this little shop, but I think after a little bit of time, you can find a job and even your own home.”

You just nodded. You didn't have a clue what the word “cyberpunk” meant, but it sounded interesting enough. After realizing that you were still on the floor, you finally stood up and looked around the little place you were in. There were light up trinkets and soft beeps coming from either side of the room. It was so overwhelming. At home you were able to just sit on a couch and watch TV and in here, it looked like the only place you could rest was a chair that could roll across the floor.

To get your bearings wherever you were, you opened the front door and were immediately overstimulated. There were loud sirens, people yelling, doors slamming, advertisements that were yelling about various products, etc.

You quickly shut the door behind you and Wade laughed at the expression on your face.

“What’s so funny?” you scoffed.

He just waved you off and Spike walked over to you. “Wade and I know exactly how you feel. We were just as overwhelmed when we ended up here.”

“You’re not from here?”

“Nope! So, don't worry, your reaction and overwhelmingness is completely normal. Do you want something to eat?”

You hadn't even thought about food, but when asked the question, noticed how hungry you really were. “Yes please.” you said softly.

Spike walked down a long hall and you followed, not wanting to be left alone with Wade.

“So what was your home like?” he asked.

“Normal.” you laughed. You really didn't know how to answer that question.

He laughed back. “Not like this at all, I'm guessing.”

“Not at all.”

“See, ours was kind of like this,” Spike said as you got to the kitchen. “It was very techy, so we immediately knew what to do when we started ‘glitching’ if that’s what you wanna call it. We also know how to travel interdimensionally. That's how we ended up here. We traveled outside of our home and never found a way to get back. That machine couldn’t even tell us. I think what happened to your home also happened to ours while we were gone.”

“That sounds awful.”

Spike laughed. “Yeah, definitely awful. We’ve traveled everywhere, it feels like, but we just never found home. This was almost the closest to it. It looks like home in the future.”

“That makes sense.” It didn't, but it did. You didn't know how else to share your sympathy with him, especially considering the whole thing felt like an awful dream that you would never wake up from.

“What are you gonna do?” he asked you as he slid over your plate.

“No clue,” you admitted. “Maybe it’s delusional, but I want to find my family.”

“You found a way out. So maybe they did too.”

Just those few words from Spike’s mouth gave you hope. Perhaps too much.

—

Learning new things is really difficult, but you found yourself learning how to travel through space and time to be a piece of cake, to your surprise.

That hope that Spike had engraved in you when you first met years ago was still stuck in you and would always be until you found your family.

Even if you had to search until the day you died, you would be satisfied.

The craziest part of the whole thing though was that you became someone completely different over the years. You found yourself learning how to make your own tech to make interdimensionally traveling easier and buying clothes that made you look much different than you did back at home.

But you were lonely.

You met so many lovely people on your journey through this new life you created for yourself over the years, but none of them would stay like Miguel did. You even eventually drifted from Spike and Wade, getting your own house and having your own machines.

You would curl up and eat dinner by yourself on the balcony, dreaming to be in Miguel’s arms and listen to him hum a song to you in his deep voice.

—

“Hey, Miguel.” Lyla said, blowing on her nails she recently painted. “Whatcha doin?”

Miguel rolled his eyes and sighed. “Working. What does it look like I'm doing?”

“It looks like you're pouting. Not working. Nice try, but you can't fool me, buddy.” Lyla smirked.

“I'm not pouting! Why would I be pouting, Lyla? Hm? Now could you please leave me alone? You’re ruining my train of thought.”

“Now that’s just mean.” Lyla pouted.

Miguel blew a piece of his hair out of his eye and tried to sweep her away, which ended up making her leave with a giggle.

He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair before turning back on his monitor to see your face.

“Miguel!” you giggled. “Smile for the camera.” You turned the camera to a happier Miguel. Someone who actually had a smile on his face.

A stranger.

Miguel quickly shut the monitor off before he would let himself be brought to tears. It was his fault you were gone. It was his fault he was in his current position. If he didn't fuck everything up and pretend he was your husband, none of this would’ve happened.

“Lyla, I'm going out.”

“Huh? Where?” She appeared with a digital Slurpee and tilted her head.

“Just out.”

“Bored outta your mind, big boss man.”

“Sure, whatever, just leave me alone.”

Lyla saluted and faded away. He didn't know where to go, but he would just go. With the power of the entire multiverse at his hands, it was hard to just find one place to go, but even so, it was nice to breathe some fresh air in other places.

Plus with the chance of seeing you…

He pulled the thought out of his mind. He watched his daughter fade away in his arms, there was no way that you were okay too. And god, did he hate himself for it. But even so, he repressed the feelings and journeyed to other universes, meeting other Spidermen and even greater foes – eyebags and all.

—

Where the hell am I? you thought as you ended up in a dimension unlike any you had been to before. It was so different from the others that for the first time in years, you actually had to pause.

You placed your hands on your hips and looked at the world around you. It reminded you of playing video games where you would go to other worlds and you yourself would change textures to match the ones around you. Unfortunately, the texture didn't go with you, so you were left as an actual human in a cartoon world.

The life you were living was definitely a dreamlike state and the thought of it made you laugh as you led yourself through the city.

This was the part you actually loved. You got to see what life was like for others through different dimensions and the struggles they had to deal with. Granted, it wasn't much different from your life when you weren’t forced to live like this, but either way, you still found it fun to see how different, yet similar it really was.

Sometimes you would end up in dimensions you had been to a thousand times or sometimes you would end up somewhere new.

Your favorite part though: everywhere had a Spiderman. And every Spiderman was just as unique as the last.

In this world, it seemed to be some pig, which was both hilarious and intriguing. You had seen a lot in your day, but never a pig Spiderman. You loved it though and seeing posters of him around this odd city made you laugh.

But you knew it was time to leave the moment you stepped in. You liked the crazy stuff, but this was a little too crazy for your liking.

Right as you opened a portal though, you heard a loud sound not too far away from you. You figured it was a fight that Spiderpig had gotten himself into, and were ready to leave, but you turned around to see something much crazier.

Not only was Spiderpig fighting, but there was another Spiderman with him. You couldn't help but stand in awe after you closed the portal you made.

He was dressed in dark blue and red and didn't look at all like the other Spidermen you had seen before. Something about him was not only different, but so so intriguing.

The fight didn't last long since the two were working hard to get it done quickly. So when they did finish, the tall Spiderman put Spiderpig on his shoulders and gave him a fistbump.

You had only noticed you were still just standing in the street and staring when the Spiderman froze.

You giggled nervously and muttered out a quick “good job guys” before turning down an alleyway so you could teleport out of there.

But right as you began down the alley, you felt something grab your wrist. When you turned around, it was that tall Spiderman, who tilted his head at you.

“y/n?” he said.

You took a step back. “S-Sorry?”

“Is your name y/n?”

You nodded and he pulled you into his arms before opening a portal very much like your own.

You ended up in a world with complete darkness, minus the bright yellow computers surrounding the walls. You looked at the place with curiosity, but were quickly pulled from your thoughts when you saw the Spiderman pacing the room back and forth and muttering to himself.

“Hey, are you alright?” you chuckled.

“How are you… How did you… Hold on, I need a minute.” He finally sat down and grabbed his chin. “Were you married?”

You laughed, thinking this was some sort of joke. “Yes, I was. To a man named Miguel. Why?”

“What the fuck?” he said under his breath.

“Excuse me?”

“How are you alive?!”

Just then, you recognized that voice. Everything from your past hit you like a semi and you fell to your knees, tears immediately filling your sockets.

“M-Miguel? Miguel, is that you?” you managed to get out.

The mask of his Spider-suit dematerialized and he looked at you with shock.

You looked at him the same and felt like you couldn't breathe. After all those years. After all that searching…

He ran to you and dropped on his knees, pushing your hair out of your face. “How did you…”

“How did you?” you giggled somehow, grabbing Miguel’s face and looking it over. Despite the eyebags and the new muscular features, that man was definitely your husband.

“I…” he started, but you pulled him into your arms. You hugged him until neither of you could breathe.

When you pulled away, you looked at him with so much excitement that it made him regret everything. He had lied to you for years and you were looking at him the same way you looked at your real husband who died.

“I can't believe you made it out alive, Miggy! Where’s Gabriella? I bet she’s all grown up and–”

“G-Gabriella’s gone.” The words felt like another 100 lbs weighed his chest down.

You looked at him with confusion. “She didn't make it?” you asked softly.

“No. She didn't. This is all my fault.” he buried his face in his hands.

“No it's not. How could any of this be your fault?” you rubbed his back.

“No, y/n,” he scooted back, every regret from his life filling him up and making him on the near edge of a panic attack. “This is my fault. I made this happen.”

“Miguel, I–”

“I'm not even your husband!” he cried out. He never felt like this before. He didn't even feel like Miguel. But something cracked in him when he saw you, and it was going to end up killing him if he didn't talk to you about it.

You laughed. “What? Of course you are.”

“Your husband died a very long time ago.”

“I'm so confused.” you admitted.

“I know. And I'm sorry.” he pulled you closer and sat down on the floor next to you. “Look, I was your husband. At least for a while. A couple months maybe. But your real husband… the Miguel O’Hara from your world… he died. I took his place. I wanted to be happy.” Slowly, the feeling of the near panic attack was going away the more he spoke to you. He explained everything. About how much he truly loved you and about how much he regretted destroying everything, including your daughter. He told you that he was selfish for what he did and admitted that if he could go back and never be with you just so you could have a fulfilled life with Gabriella and no Miguel, everything would be fine. He explained canon events and how the world worked for Spidermen like him and the rest of the multiverse.

Everything was so confusing, but based on everything you had been through, you weren't surprised.

You had seemingly loved a stranger for months and didn't even know it. But… he wasn't, that was the most confusing part. That man, Miguel O’Hara. Spiderman 2099. That was the man you fell in love with, even if you weren't a part of his dimension.

The whole situation shocked you to your core, but there was no going back now.

You laughed for some reason when he was done telling you everything. You really couldn't believe it. But again, you weren't surprised.

Miguel didn't mean to spill everything onto you, but it made him feel so much better. Tears were streaming down his face and he was trying to repress them when he saw how confused you looked.

“y/n, I am so sorr–”

You quickly cut him off by pulling him into your arms. Real husband or not, this poor man had to suffer through everything and now has the whole multiverse on his back to take care of because he feels like it’s his responsibility. He blamed himself for everything for years all because of a stupid accident.

But you weren't mad. He didn't know what would happen and all he wanted was to be happy. You didn't want to put more on him, so you just held him for a moment and let him sit there with you in silence.

Even if you didn't know this Miguel as well as you knew your husband, he was still Miguel.

“Don't blame yourself,” you whispered. “It's okay.”

He just pulled back from the hug and wiped his hair out of his face. “I'm sorry you had to live like you have been.” he told you.

“It was kinda fun.” You hugged your knees.

“The multiverse is definitely something, huh?”

You smiled and cupped Miguel’s face in your hands. You had been traveling for years all for this. Granted, you got a story out of it that you weren't expecting, but still. Miguel was in front of you again and you felt strangely at home.

You pressed a kiss to his nose. “I wanna try this again.” you said. “With us.”

“What do you mean?”

“First.” You pulled him by the front of his suit and pressed a long and needed kiss to his lips. He melted to your lips quickly, but the feeling ended quickly when you pulled away.

“What do you mean ‘try again?’ ” he asked.

“I'm y/n.” You stuck out your hand and smiled at him.

“I'm Miguel.” He took your hand and sighed with relief.

“Nice to meet you, Miguel. Maybe we should go on a date sometime.”

~~~~~

into the spiderverse masterlist | pinned post 2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

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