#baby has derp face

[kaitosdex]

Pokémon #0086 - Seel

"Seel live on icebergs in frigid ocean waters. Its warm fur and thick hide allow it to thrive in these cold environments, becoming more active as the temperature drops and tires easily in warm waters. Preferring to sleep during the day, it hunts for prey under sheets of ice in the late day and evening hours."

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Dogs

Alien: Why did you take me to here? Alien: You know I hate being outside. Human: How else would I get you to the greatest place on the planet? Alien: *About to ask question when sudden noise distracts them* Alien: *Reads sign on nearby post* Alien: What is a “Dog Park”? ----------------------------- Human: Unlike cats, dogs are man’s true best friend. Alien: And why is that? Human: Because they won’t brutally maim you if you pet them too long. -----------------------------

Alien: What does one do with their dog? Human: Play fetch mostly. Alien: What is fetch? Human: *Picks up ball and throws it* *Nearest dog sprints after it and brings it back* Alien: That’s it? Human: No; now comes the difficult part. Alien: Which is? Human: Trying to get the ball back. ---------------------------

Alien: Aren’t these creatures expensive to maintain? Human: Medical wise they are about the same as cats. Human: Entertainment wise they are much cheaper. Alien: How so? Human: *Picks up nearby stick and wobbles it around* *Golden retriever stops what it was doing and focuses on stick* *Tail begins wagging at turbo speed and they hunch down on two legs with their back legs up* Human: *Hands stick to alien friend* Now you try. Alien: Really? Alien: You think this will- Alien: *Notices dog now focusing entirely on him as he wobbles stick* Alien: Oh my gods…. Human: I know right? Alien: I have become their god now. ----------------------------

Alien: Do they have any weaknesses? Human: Don’t put a mirror in front of them. Alien: What happens if you do? *Pair turns as a dog begins loudly barking* *Pair see a dog barking aggressively at its own reflection* Human: Because of that. Alien: That doesn’t seem so- *Dog leaps at mirror and bonks its head* Human: See? Alien: Question withdrawn. -----------------------

Alien: May I try walking one of these dogs? Human: Are you sure? Human: You’ll need upper arm strength to restrain them if they get excited. Alien: *Looks down at tiny little corgi* Alien: I think I can handle them. *Chuckles* Human: Alright. *Hands leash over* Alien: *Begins walking dog around park* Alien: I don’t know what they were talking about. Alien: This is easy. *Random squirrel runs past corgi and Corgi chases after it* Alien: *Violently thrown to ground by sudden pull and dragged across the dog park* Human: *Watching his alien friend swear in his native language* I’d feel sorry over this, but I warned them so it’s okay to be funny. -------------------------

Alien: *Finally gets free of corgi leash and picks themselves off the ground* Alien: What…*Gasp* the….*double gasp* florp! Alien: How was that tiny creature so strong?! Human: The tiny ones are the most energetic. Human: The big ones are the giant babies of the species. Alien: How does that make any sense at all? Human: *Takes alien by the face and directs their gaze down at excited pitbull8 Human: Look at that smooshy face! Human: Nothing has to make sense when you look at that cute stupid smooshy face! -------------------------

*Dog comes up at starts nuzzling alien* Alien: Ah; you are an adorable creature. *picks up dog and cradles it like a baby* Alien: *Starts rubbing its belly* Human: *Notices and comes over* Human: I’m glad you’re starting to warm up to them. Alien: *Nods* They are enjoyable after a period. Human: Just as an FYI, that’s a Pug and when they’re on their back they can’t breathe. Alien: WHAT!? Alien: *Immediately puts dog down and it gasps several times* Alien: I didn’t….you mustn't think I would.. Human: Just wait a sec. *Alien watches pug take several more deep breaths before looking up at him and starts wagging tail again.* Alien: They are not very smart, are they? Human: We call that their “Derp” factor. ------------------------------

Human: Hey Greg. Human 2: Yo. Alien: What are you doing? Human 2: Playing “Hide and go seek” with my dog Burt. Alien: *Begins looking around* Where is this- *sees Burt standing behind bench poorly hid* Alien: I can see- Human 2: Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh. Human 2: Don’t make eye contact. Alien: Why not? Human 2: Because you need to wait five minutes searching the entire park before you find him; it makes him feel like a really good boi. Alien: But why not just- *Human 2 leans in close* Human 2: So help me if you look at him before those five minutes are up and make him sad I will hit you with my car. Alien: Wait what!? Alien: You can’t be serious! Human: *nods* Dog people take their pets happiness very seriously. Alien: But to hit someone with a car? Human: *Shrugs* I once shot a guy for throwing an empty soda can at my little bugger. Alien: You take your dog’s very…..seriously, I see. Human: Is there any other way?

[datlokibumtho]

EDIT: I said I'd add more, and so I shall. I swear, the more I rewatch it, the more abserdity crosses my mind. I forgot some, so I'll add those when I remember them.

Rewatching the Mugen Train Arc, and there are a few things I noticed that I shall now share with you. I will add more as I think of them.

▪︎Rengoku's mom is hot

▪︎You will never be able to convince me we didn't see Akaza's O Face during that final attack.

▪︎Why didn't Akaza just drag Rengoku along with him to escape? All that oomf he has, and you're telling me one dude is too heavy? Nezuko can carry someone easily while in baby mode and was strong enough to curbstomp Daki, and you're telling me Akaza, Upper Three, the fourth most powerful demon in existence can't drag one guy along for the ride while bailing? I'm calling that shit hard.

▪︎Tanjirou's VA knocked this shit out of the park.

▪︎I call bullshit that Rengoku didn't activate his Demon Slayer Mark during all that.

¤ Edit: I now know why that didn't happen, so nevermind this one.

▪︎While we're on the topic of Rengoku, can I just briefly express my confusion as to his dream of choice when Enmu put him to sleep? Out of everything he could have dreamed, all the scenarios his mind could have conjured up, he chose "that one time I did something extraordinary and my dad didn't give a shit" followed by any given day of the week. Tanjirou got his family back, Zenitsu got to spend time with the girl he loved, Inosuke got to do whatever the fuck that was...and Rengoku's got an alcoholic father who doesn't give a hair on a witch's tit if his kids live or die, a mom that's still dead from illness, and last Tuesday, the Tuesday before that, and the Tuesday before that, also known as his everyday life. Why? He could have had a father that was a presentable human being again, a mother that wasn't dead or ill, a happy life...and he bypassed all of that. Just. Fucking. Why.

¤Edit: upon further thought and some amateur analysis of his psyche, the dream probably revolved more around time with his brother, or his boundless optimism making him think every day is a gift or worth celebrating or special somehow. Or maybe he just has a really bad imagination.

▪︎Rengoku just gave Enmu his first brush with heartburn.

▪︎Look up the lyrics to Homura by LiSA, and I believe you will join me in saying fuck whoever chose the music. Why they gotta do that? Why?

▪︎Get you a man that's an absolute goober, a total badass, a complete and utter derp, a major sweetheart, and a super serious hot mess all at once. Get you a Flame Hashira. Get you Rengoku Kyoujurou.

▪︎"I'm a box lunch vendor" wasn't suspicious until he said it wasn't suspicious. Then it became suspicious.

▪︎Rengoku moving his ass like "Total Consentrstion Fuck You I'm A Hashira" speed mode activated. "Ecceleration Mode", for anyone that's up on older anine.

▪︎Pigtails runnin' her way through Rengokus dream world like the edge isn't invisible and she was at zero risk of slamming face first into it.

▪︎God damn, Tanjirou, right between the man-titties. Rude as fuck.

▪︎Tanjirou: smells blood in a snow storm, Muzan in the middle of Tokyo, identifies people by their scents after only meeting them once, can smell character traits

Rengoku: two cars down from them, chowing away at bento, unnoticed

Zenitsu: hears thing down to a celluar level and can figure out what something's species and intent are based solely of of their sounds of existsnce

Rengoku: two cars down from them, practically yelling "tasty" repeatedly, unnoticed

Inosuke: has super insane instincts and the ability to lock onto things miles away

Renkgoku: STILL just two cars down from them, living his best life with a crapton of bento, unnoticed

Tanjirou/Zenitsu/Inosuke: "Wonder where the Flame Hashira is."

▪︎Slasher demon: "No one's faster than me!"

The Other Speedy Stripy Boi Of The Mugrn Train Arc: "Destructive Death: Kick-Your-Ass-Faster-Than-The-Speed-Of-Sound-You-Scrub Type."

▪︎Rengoku's Dream World: sunshine, daisies, and fatherly rejection

Rengoku's Subconscious: flaming hellscape

Enmu's Lackey: "What the flip flap fuck is going on with this man?"

▪︎Enmu: shocked Zenitsu did anything while under his spell

The rest of us: "Yeah, it was always gonna go that way, chief."

BONUS: ORIGINAL WATCHTHROUGH THOUGHTS

▪︎My thought process through my original watchthrough eons ago: "Rengoku is a silly mans. Rengoku is kinda cool. Rengoku is utterly endearing. Rengoku is awesome. Rengoku is one BAMF. RENGOKU IS DEAD."

▪︎My almost simultaneous thought process through my original watchthrough eons ago: "I can't believe he dies, he's so amazing and wonderful and i love him. Ok, he dies in this fight, and now that i know the man, i instantly hate whoever did it. Oh no, he's HOT! My emotions are very mixed right now. My emotions are completely decided in their stance, and I am getting teary-eyed over yet another ficticious character."

▪︎My afterthoughts of my original watchthrough eons ago: "Akaza is the absolute worst, that pretty face, hot body and smooth af voice cannot change that. Wow, Muzan was mean to him after he did his damndest. My opinion can not change now that I have seen Senjurou, he is a wonderful little cinnamonroll, and Akaza must remain the worst. He can be terrible and still look good. I mean, are he and his utterly whorish waist and very lovely, somewhat delicately featured face really to blame or is Muzan or psychosis of some kind? Wow, that's a nice hourglass physique and horribly tragic backstory."

▪︎End conclusion from my original watchthrough eons ago: "My opinion of Rengoku has done a 180. I would die for Senjurou. I will probably never truly like Rengoku Shinjurou despite understanding that grief and disillusionment do strange things to people. Akaza is too hot, broken, and in a weird way endearing and lovable to hate. I loves me a tragic backstory and damaged man. I DO NOT HAVE A NEW SHIP I DO NOT HAVE A NEW SHIP I DO NOT HAVE A NEW SHIP"

▪︎I had a new ship

[katsuma6]

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, cause Idk how Tumblr fully works 😂

But I'm sending a request as per your last post ☺ At first I didn't know what scenarios to request, but then I remembered I'm a single Mum and has been into Grimmjow since I was in my earlys 20s 🤣

How about Grimmjow becoming a new parent (and I'm sure he'd be a derp but also love the kid and be protective) but also misses spicy moments with the reader 🫣🥹

Thank you in advance and I love A New Life - I hope you update soon too 🤗 Stay safe & well

Eeek I love the thought of this.

One thing about Grimmjow, he craves attention and lots of it but, being a mother takes a lot of your time.

Grimmjow knew that. He knows your child will always come first. He wasn't sure how he would do with being a step-dad considering he's never been around kids.

At first he just watched. He loved sitting beside you listening to you read a bedtime story or making a special birthday cake.

Eventually your child opened up and grew closer to Grimm. They would cling to his bicep as he lifted them off the ground. He would "sword fight" with sticks from the yard. Grimmjow would also love to wrestle with your kid and accidentally get carried away.

He would panic and try and bribe them with candy or a toy to stop them from crying.

But if anyone else were to hurt your child oh my.

"Grimmjow, you can't fight a child."

You testified while mopping the kitchen floor.

"He's just a bully. Karma will catch up eventually."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes while grumbling.

Nobody hurts his baby.

He loves your child as if it were his own and he would do absolutely anything in the world for them.

Another thing about being a mom or a parent in general... you don't get much alone time if ya catch my drift.

You're kid wanted to play hide and seek. Grimmjow loved the idea because he's got a very dirty mind and he's going to take advantage of having you alone even if it's just for 30 seconds.

The two of you are cramped up in a closet.

Your child finally called out the famous words, "Ready or not here I come!" It sounded like they were all the way across the other side of the house.

Grimmjow placed his lips against your ear.

"Think we'll be here a while?"

You giggled while shushing him.

"Maybe if you're quiet."

Grimmjow had a wicked idea and he was going for it.

"I miss you." He whispered again. His hot breath sending shivers down your spine.

"Grimm I'm right here-"

Before you finished your sentence a hand slipped into the front of your pants causing a gasp to slip from your lips.

"No. I miss you."

Your breath hitched and you started to panic.

"We can't. We could get caught."

Grimmjow grazed your bottom lip with his thumb.

"I won't let them see anything. I can hear really well."

His finger now finding your special spot.

"Oh. I think you're excited."

You playfully scoffed and reached for his wrist.

It attempts to distract you he molded his lips into yours.

"C'mon, just let me. Please."

His desperate whispers caused you to melt and you were completely relaxed.

"Grimmjow~"

You whispered breathlessly as his fingers worked their magic.

"You feel so good. Just keep quiet for me, baby."

His words were sending you into overdrive. The heat began pooling into your body and you could feel the high coming.

But suddenly Grimmjow completely stopped what he was doing and before you could get a word out the door flung open.

"Found you!"

Your kid had the biggest, happiest grin on their face.

Grimmjow chuckled. "Great job."

You stomped out of the closet feeling disappointed. Your eyes met the cerulean orbs that make you weak at the needs.

A devious smile grew across his face.

"Wanna play again?"

Yes, being a mom takes a lot of your time and attention but, this man will always find ways to get what he wants. He misses you and he wants your affection.

He is respectful though. He loves you and he cares for you. If you genuinely don't want to do anything he will just cuddle you.

And believe it or not..

Grimmjow will play with your child all day by himself if it means you get a break.

Sure he might let your kid have ice cream for lunch but, it's the effort that counts.

"Hey brat, leave your mom alone."

He grumbles as you fold laundry with your kid at your feet begging for snacks.

"Let's get McDonald's."

Your kid leaped into his arms and happily went with Grimm to eat.

Later that evening you and Grimm were in the bedroom. You were laying in the bed while Grimmjow just got out of the shower.

He was drying his hair with a towel and he noticed you laying down.

"You okay baby?"

You smiled warmly staring at him.

"I'm okay."

Grimmjow tossed the towel down and claimed on top of you. The look in his eyes made you quiver.

"You're such a good mom. Want me to put another one in you?"

Your face grew bright red as you playfully smacked his chest and then his lips crashed into yours ending the night with a messing and hot makeout session.

[sirfartballs]

What if the ttf gang had to babysit a baby trollge (maybe six) of a trollge overlord?

(Pretend this the baby trollge girl—)

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!!! I WENT ON HIATUS D:

Has to be restrained in order to let her go. Will NOT leave the baby alone: Trollge Gf, JJ.

What they (Trollge gf and JJ) would say:

(Trollge Gf:) "You don't understand how precious she is! You're going to hurt her!" She frowned, pulling the baby closer to her.

(JJ) "I NEED TO PROTECT HER. GET AWAY," JJ protested, showing them a scornful look before running off.

Trying to take care of her, but does not know ANYTHING about children: Derpy, Jhenkins, Agent Blueballs, Stairway.

What they would say:

(Derpy) He grasped the air, grinning "I want to help...!" (can derp even speak??? 😭)

(Jhenkins) "Oh, come on! How am I supposed to learn if I cant even experience what it's like to hold her?" He crossed his arms.

(Agent Blueballs) Arguing with Trollge Gf.

(Stairway) Doesn't say anything, only a slightly upset look caught on his face.

Pretends not to care / doesn't want to help, but deep inside absolutely ADORES her:

Legion, Derpina, Smiler.

What the would say:

Legion: Legion implies, "Youth... it's fun to see you all try to change the destiny of one's that has already been decided."

Derpina: "Being a mother is too stressful, may I just be the aunt?"

Smiler: "I dont think I'm fit to be a father... or a caretaker at the least." He reminisces on his past with his daughter.

PUNTS THAT BABY INTO THE GALAXY:

Trallface, ME!!!!!

[sunsetkite]

the thing I can't get over about those Minecraft Squid Games Sirenhead Minions etc. crossover baby sensory videos is that they're made with so much care. I won't call the jumpcuts and flying cameras "cinematography", nor will I even try to defend Hungry Frog, but (long post incoming)

the animation / rigging of regular player models to do distinctly non-Minecraft actions while still looking like things that could happen in Minecraft, the scenes where you realise they've coordinated upwards of 20 actors, any time they do a callback to a previous episode -- heck, any time "continuity" can be spotted within an episode is more than enough to ask for, considering their supposed audience is algorithm-fried children who can't remember what happened more than 30 seconds ago

scrapy's most recent video (at the time of posting) is a really great example of this. the full title is, and i quote, "WHO to SAVE the SHEEP or HEROBRINE or HAMOOD? Cursed MINECRAFT BUT IT'S UNLUCKY LUCKY FUNNY MOMENTS". sounds like clickbait garbage meant to prey upon victims of the youtube algorithm. upon watching it, you would.. still be justified in saying it is. HOWEVER do not overlook moments like the rigging in the first minute and final scene (10:05), the fact that they swapped herobrine's skin to a more ragged and torn one after he was dropped into the pond full of Guardians (0:17, 0:36), using a frog as a grappling hook (5:50), however on earth they did the wall/ceiling-walking (6:15), etc

and the diversity of voicelines has improved drastically over time. the videos are narrated entirely by clips sourced from the internet. about a year ago, voicelines were mainly used to react to events (ie "I'm really rich." when diamonds or dollars show up, or "Oh no!" when something bad happens), but more recently (especially in the Talking Ben videos) they're used to have primitive, telegraphic conversations.

also they sampled "out of my way, son!" from Door Stuck. that deserves its own bullet point.

if you ask me i will tell you there is as much lore connecting these videos as there is in some SMPs. (..that being said, i will be overabundant in my use of red string). i will detail the relationship between scrapy and his frenemy, the derp face character (when they meet in life-or-death scenarios such as the Squid Games, their first instincts are to antagonise each other, but scrapy still reacts negatively to the frenemy getting hurt/killed). i will tell you that talking ben is akin in purpose to a shinigami. i will dissertate upon the significance of the lamb.

however. however! i will not be beating the "these are baby sensory videos, kite" allegations today sorry

(alts in ids)

[beevean]

Someone left a like on my this post, which was written fresh after finishing the game, and it’s kind of funny re-reading it now as I’m replaying the game and also after it consumed my whole being :P

Most of my praises and criticism still stand. I would gush much more about Hector and Isaac now, but in my defense, I hadn’t read the mangas yet so I had to go with what the game gave me. Funny how back then I was like “I like Hector because he’s aggressive” and now I’m like “actually Hector is super chill and mellow and it was the Curse who made him that way, also he’s both a baby-faced cutie and the biggest gigachad in the series yes those elements can coexist”. Anyway, sadly, I still can’t defend the plot too much. I’ve fallen in love with the lore, but the story in the game has some noticeable holes.

(also thanks to the mangas I’d be more protective of Rosaly and Julia, but... they were done really dirty by the game and that needs to be preserved)

Derp on my part for saying that you can’t move the camera fhdsjkfh. You can, I just was stuck with a keyboard! And oh man the difference that it makes! ... not that you would need it for platforming, but now I’m used to it so I don’t care :V

The lock-on part... well, the thing is that, on my first playthrough, I didn’t bother Stealing much. If I could, great (I remember stealing Tomato Juice from Dracula lmao), but I otherwise found it boring and so I didn’t care for the lock-on. Now I am trying to Steal as much as I can, and turns out, I still hate lock-on! I don’t know how to turn it off when I don’t need it anymore! But at least I know its purpose now. Also no, past me, guarding and lock-on are different buttons, you’re just using a keyboard. Stealing can still get annoying (and I haven’t even reached Death yet) and some of the triggers can be quite cryptic without a guide, but it does make a big difference in how you approach enemies and combat.

Now that I’m Stealing, it’s also much easier to make weapons. Like most positive reviews say, it is an addictive system, but it’s also very cryptic and you need a guide to know what you’re about to make - nothing worse than wasting a rare material on a joke weapon. But I’m en route to forge the Chauve-Souris for myself, and it’s actually pretty fun once you get the hang of it!

(the game is also not stingy with money if you Steal! Wish I knew it earlier :’) )

The movement part is funny because now I learned to cartwheel through the corridors :P it helps. And Trevor can just nyoom without a problem, so there’s that.

Also, I discovered that you do technically get something for beating the bonus boss: the Boss Rush. And if you beat the Boss Rush, you get the Sound Test! I’d love to unlock that only for Michiru Yamane’s comments, but the thought of fighting Dracula twice makes me quiver in fear.

With a second playthrough, I think the game is not just charming like I said, but also pretty fun on its own. I still don’t really consider it Castlevania in gameplay, unlike some comments I’ve read, but once you accept that the exploration is rather barebones and heavily depending on your current IDs, and you’re going to fight a lot, the gameplay loop is addictive: Steal, forge, use those weapons to evolve IDs, get stronger, find more stuff, sit on chairs. I really wish I played it shortly after it came out...

Thoughts on the weirdest, most balls to the wall Castlevania game? :P

this is a serious game about revenge

Curse of Darkness is a marked improvement on almost everything in Lament of Innocence, but still not quite enough.

Continua a leggere

[yeetusdabussy]

Can you do a top 3 Uchiha of who you think would be okay with their adorable chubby girl being a foodie? Like, I love to eat and be constantly snacking or cooking 🥺 ❤

ஂ.ꦿꪶ⃨᭕YESSSෂ࿆ ᭄࿐ྀུ

╭══• •══╮

WARNING

╰══• •══╯

┊┊┊┊

┊┊┊❁

┊┊🌙

┊ !

┊❁

🌸

None

Madara

•He's old fashion, he would want a bigger woman to birth him children. After all that's how it was in the old days, he doesn't care for looks but personality and how you look at life (also if you agree with all his doings)

•Madara knows if you're eating, he's eating so win win for him. Buuuut he does need to watch out for his diet, if he gains weight he's blaming you.

•He always brings you snacks and goodies after work or when he comes home from long missions, grabbing small snacks from different villages in hopes you'll enjoy something new.

•He loves how warm you are at night, he loves holding you and kissing you so tenderly.

•The fact you cook a lot makes him happy,man's gotta eat and HE'LL LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOVE if you came to His office dropping off food for him to eat. He'll act like he's not happy but his stomach will betray him with a loud growl.

•...he's killing anyone who says something about your weight..

•10/10 loves big girls.

Itachi

•this sweet man doesn't care about your weight, he just wants to love and hold you close. He enjoys having you close to him so he can feel your warmth and have his hands roam your body with such care and love.

•He's always cooking for you, he loves it because you always have this big derp smile on your face. He will cook you anything you desire.

•looooves cuddling you, he always wants to hold you,kiss you, caress you, and just love you. He's not a fan of PDA but at home its all love and kisses buddy.

•GAAH the way he kisses your sweet rolls or insecurities will have you up the roof.

•He's whooping ass if someone has something bad to say to you.

20/20!!

Shisui

•This man...this ..this man!! Will worship your body until your knees turn Into Jello. He's always complimenting you, always kissing your neck or nibbling it playfully.

•Ah he loves when you Cook for him,he's eating anything you give him, he wants to show you how much he enjoys your food.

•He is always buying snacks, its ridiculous. You don't have to ask for something because 9x out of 10 y'all already have what you're asking for and if ya don't, he's apologizing and getting it for you.

•loves taking you out to eat, he wants to make sure you get a break from cooking. He aint letting NOBODY disrespect your weight, he's on their ass like tom with jerry.

•Welcome to Joseline’s CabaretYour every desire will be fulfilled Your wish is my command I’m here to please you, baby Do it like it’s your B-day Do it like it’s your B-day

•20/20

[grandaddy-of-all-liars]

Hello! You said you like seeing rewrites of the Ren Seeks help episode. Well I don’t have enough brain juice and dedication to rewrite the whole episode, I do how ever have some head cannons of Ren’s Mom, Dad and child Ren. I hope you like it.

Ren’s Mom

.Loves her child dearly.

.Also has anger problems like her son

.Has a garden where she calms down in

.Never around home a lot because of her job

.Likes taking Ren on walks when he was younger

.Has a crazy laugh like her son

.Likes ABBA

.Liked calling Ren “beautiful” and “the prettiest son in the world”

Ren’s Dad

.Very bitter

.Told Ren to “grow up” alot

.A bit abusive

.Had a smoking problem and constantly filled their apartment with smoke

.Would beat Ren with a paddle when he misbehaved

.Cheapskate

.Would hit his wife when she did something “stupid”

Child Ren

.Was very giggly, not so much anymore

.Mimicked a lot of his parents behavior’s

.Liked playing near the creek that was near by the apartment complex

.Played baseball (which was where he met Stimpy :>)

.Didn’t talk much

.Prefers his mom over his dad

.accidentally killed a frog one time and it traumatized him for life (let me know if you want more context on this one)

.Likes calling people “eediots” and always got in trouble for it

.Was thought by other people that he had a mental disability, because of that cross eye thing that he does

I hope you enjoyed reading this head canons.On a completely unrelated note, I’ve been thinking on writing a Ren and Stimpy creepy pasta so let me know if you want to hear that.That’s all. Bye!



you were right, I like this a whole lot! thanks so much for taking the time to put these down!!

*faves*: (though its all tops ofc!)

how you see his mom being a bit manic like him too, the chaos/harmony dynamic seems to catch us the same way we get caught up sorta villainizing his crappy father. cheapskate ! haha yes i can totally see that, maybe why Ren gets so greedy sometimes hmm and the baseball reference :-* le chef kiss and that crosseye bit gave me a good laugh, this baby def has resting derp face ♡

and yes please to more of your writing, please share the deets when youre ready!!! 🙏✨️

[maximumcatfeels]

So a lot of the other ancestors in PLA have Pokémon that correlate to their descendants’ Pokémon teams

But not Cyllene

I personally have the HC that she just doesn’t want to do pokemon battling (and that her Abra is half messenger and half emotional support animal that she babies the hell out of when no one is looking)

But! I do think it would be great if she got a few Pokémon that Cyrus has on his team, but never evolves them and they have the worst stats known to man and they are so fucking derpy because of it

Like I could she her getting a tiny, rock-for-brains Magikarp that she accidentally rescued one time. She likes to take it for swimming at prelude beach but often she’s the one rescuing it from big waves.

(When not in a pokeball it generally lives in the tank that the oshawott used to live in in the Professor’s office. It keeps trying to eat the rocks they put at the bottom of the tank for decoration.)

She got a murkrow as a gift (to help with her fear of bugs) but it thinks it’s hilarious that she screams at bugs. She uses it as a messenger mostly now but it does like to live on top of her house and screech at trespassers like a deranged guard dog/chicken.

The murkrow ended up befriending a zubat and now Cyllene also has a bat just hanging out in her house. She doesn’t mind it much except for when it gets startled and crashes face first into someone.

I dunno. I just like the thought of the juxtaposition of this very serious, resting bitch face Captain with derpy baby Pokémon (except for Abra who only derps in private).

She loves them all (but will never admit it).

[echo--flowers--writes]

A little continuation of a one-shot I wrote for kinktober! Colbalt is a lamia, made by @uhhbananafrappe

Tiny bony fingers wrap around your finger, looking up at you curiously, watching you with those bright blue eyelights. You can't help but coo at the little snakelet, stroking his tiny skull gently while you pull the tiny sweater you knitted in preparation for their arrival over his skull, before adjusting your legs more comfortably around his clutchmates, still resting from the tiring ordeal of hatching. 

Cobalt's tail is warm against your back, coiling more securely around you and his clutch, proud smile lingering on his face as he watches you fuss over the newly hatched babies. With a content sigh, you settle back against his tail, cradling the bleping snakelet in your arms, a gentle smile softening your face. His tiny blue tail wraps around your arm, sockets slipping closed as he snuggles into your chest, clinging to your warmth. Your Soul flutters happily in your chest, holding the baby closer and pressing a feather light kiss on his forehead. The rest of the clutch snuggles in Cobalt's coils or into your sides and lap, seeking the warmth and familiar scent of their mommy and daddy, and forming a tiny noodle pile between the two of you.

Cobalt rumbles with purr, chest pressed against your back, arms wrapped around your abdomen. His eyelights are soft and fuzzy, watching you bonding with your children, his children... something he thought he would never see in his lifetime, doomed to live in this world alone without a mate and a family. 

Then you came along, worming your way past his timid nature and right into his Soul, giving him the family he had been craving since he lost his own all those ages ago. His Soul aches with the sudden memories of his family. Stars, he misses them dearly...

One of your soft hands strokes his mandible, thumbing along it soothingly, shifting carefully to avoid disturbing the babies. You nuzzle his mandible, tucking your head under his chin, relaxing against the coils he has wrapped around you. He pulls you closer gently, burying his nasal bone in your hair. 

He glances down when he hears your soft giggle, moving so his chin settles on your shoulder instead. A snicker hiss out between his fangs when he sees what has you so tickled. Beanie, a tiny, round little snakelet, is staring up at you, dark blue eyes wide, a curious light dancing in them. His tiny forked tongue is poking out between his fangs in a blep, head tilting.

"You're such a little derp." You coo, fighting another giggle as you gently pick him up, his oversized sweater sleeves slipping over his hands and off of one shoulder. With a warm smile, you readjust his sweater, cradling him in your other arm, being careful not to disturb Capri, the smallest of the clutch, who is snoozing away against your chest. While you settle against his coils, he does a head count. 

Capri and Beanie are cuddling with you... Iris, Peri, and Noodle are curled in a small noodle pile against his ribs, and... 

...Where is Dart? Panicked, he glances around the nest, trying not to wake you or the rest of the clutch as he frantically looks for-

Dart hisses a quiet coo against his skull, tiny phalanges wrapped in his sweater as they climb onto his shoulder. He forces down a flinch and sighs, shoulders sagging in relief as he wraps his phalanges around the troublemaker and gently lifts him from his shoulder. With a smile, he carefully sets Dart on his chest instead, letting the soft pulses of his Soul sooth the snakelet. Dart yawns with a cute little squeak and settles in for a nap, phalanges clutching Cobalt's sweater and their tail wrapping limply around his radius.

Cobalt's eyeslights brighten at the sight of his family cuddling in his nest, a happy, fuzzy feeling warming the chill from his bones. He nuzzles your hair, and smiles when you snuggle closer with a happy little sigh.

He never thought he would have a family again, but now that he has his wonderful mate and beautiful babies in his life, he couldn't be happier.

[not-wholly-unheroic]

Disney’s vintage dolls and collectibles remind me of those Medieval paintings of babies or cats that just slapped an adult human face on an infant or animal body and give off the same creepy vibe. Like….

What happened here? Wendy’s face looks too tiny for her head. Peter has SEEN THINGS, and Hook looks like he got a whiff of something STANKY!

This Hook looks like Peter punched him in the face and his eye has swollen shut.

This one is may have accidentally stuck his finger in a light socket. I don’t know where his shoe is. Maybe the crocodile got it.

Hook mug is judging you.

Why…why does Peter have green skin on his arms????

Bendy Hook is having a worse day than you are and looks like he might be related to Old McDonald.

Herp derp. 🤪

Hook mask with eye holes that makes it look like he’s some spider-like alien creature with four eyes. NOPE.

It just keeps getting worse….

Yikes.

And last but not least…

NIGHTMARE FUEL.

[sanjiaftersex]

Hey there ❤️ How about Uchiha men forming a rock band? Who do you think would be which musician in it?

idk much about rock bands so let me improvise with how they'd be like in a boyband

sasuke : the leader, center, vocals, is the most popular member, only socials is ig, posts thirst traps and acts unbothered like he didn't just post his whole tiddies on a thursday afternoon and make the whole fandom lose their shit classic Leo

itachi : face of the group, rapper, DILF, poster boy for shy introverts and lives in his unnecessarily expensive mysterious high rise apartment somewhere, has no social media if u wanna interact then send an email to his manager's gmail and pray to god idk

shisui : lead dancer, very fierce on stage, serves cunt every comeback, gets his peaches out in Georgia everytime they're on a world tour, flirts with all the staff members, gets tangled into scandals every 3 business days

naruto : vocals, the sunshine puppy of the group, DERPS cz why tf NAWT, social media fairy, has account in every local and international social media platforms, interacts with fans and does wholesome shit everyday

fugaku : uhh...he the trashcan in the band's practice room

madara : rapper, doesn't give a shit wtf the manager or company says cz he can't be MANAGED, on his thot shit 24/7, doesn't wear shirts or tops cz life is too short to not have ur titties out, is the brand ambassador of some super expensive shampoo, listens to baby shark doo doo while doing bench presses, is still a cunt off stage but with cute cat ears

[farfromharry]

‘Hiii. I hope you're having a good day/night. Can you do 8, 23 and 27 from your dialogue prompt list with Tom Holland? For example Tom and his 6yo kid (preferably a girl) get into a small fight and when Tom leaves for work the kid is all sad and down, and later when you learn why she's like that you call Tom and then you continue with the prompts. Please and thank youu’

summary: tom upsets scarlett unintentionally and he has to come home early to apologise to his baby

dad!tom holland x reader

w/c 0.7k

- clearing out my inbox -

“i’m not doing this today, scarlett,” he shouted. tom left the house after that without as much as even a goodbye to his daughter, leaving her standing there with her heart breaking.

she didn’t come to you though, she went and sat herself on the couch and cried quietly. she didn’t understand that tom was just frustrated, she thought her dad now hated her.

you found her a little while later after you’d gotten ready, prepared to make breakfast for the two of you.

“hey angel, you okay?” she lifted your head for you to see her tear streaked cheeks. your heart thumped, taking her into your arms and brushing your hand over her hair.

“what happened?”

you rubbed your hand over her back comfortingly while she explained her part of the story, your heart broke and you grew angry at tom, frowning and holding her close to you.

“don’t worry about your dad okay, i’ll sort it.” she nodded her head. “now let’s go make you some breakfast.”

as soon as scarlett was settled down at the kitchen table with her breakfast, you made a beeline for your phone, pulling up your husband’s contact to very angrily yell at him.

it took a few rings for him to pick up, not even being given the chance to greet you before you butted in.

“what did you do?” you asked, catching tom off guard.

“well hello to you too, my beautiful wife,” he teased. the phone was wedged between his ear and shoulder as he shuffled through some important work papers, occasionally moving away from the screen to mumble something to his assistant.

“tom,” you called, needing his full attention. he sighed, putting down his papers.

“what happened?”

you explained exactly what your baby had told you, and you could almost feel tom’s heart sinking from this end of the phone.

“she’s really upset?” he asked, not thinking their small, early morning squabble would have really hurt her feelings this much.

“she thinks you don’t love her anymore, she’s only a baby tom.”

he sighed, telling you he’d be home as soon as he can to make up for being an idiot. you thanked him, telling him you had to go because scarlett was calling for you.

tom groaned after he tossed his phone onto his desk, standing up from his chair. grabbing the stuff he needed he turned his attention to his assistant.

“cancel my meeting, i need to go home.” he didn’t give the woman time to protest, having already grabbed his coat and made his way out of the building.

tom was uncomfortably nervous on his way home, scared that his daughter would truly be too hurt to forgive him. he didn’t know what was going through the six year old’s head.

you were there to greet him when he came through the door, kissing him gently, telling him she was on the couch sulking.

he made his way into the room like a timid child, smiling sheepishly at the girl sitting sadly alone. tom sat down beside her, pouting when she shuffled away from him.

“hey bub,” he said, opening his arms for her. she seemed hesitant to crawl in his lap and it broke his heart, a frown forming on his face.

he nodded anyway, letting her stay where she was. he hated how sad she looked, especially knowing that he was the one that caused it.

scarlett let out a sudden sob, breaking tom’s heart even further.

“no, baby, don’t cry.” he lifted her into his lap, ignoring her protests. his hands came up to wipe the tears away from her face, even if they just kept coming and coming.

“i’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have shouted at you,” he apologised, kissing her head a few times. she nodded her head.

“do you hate me?” she asked, her voice quiet and sad. it made tom’s heart throb.

“of course not, i love you so, so much,” he said. she giggled when he jabbed her stomach playfully.

“daddy didn’t mean to, i’m sorry sweetheart.” she smiled, tucking her head into his neck.

“s’okay daddy, i forgive you,” she mumbled. tom let out a relieved sigh.

“thank god.”

tom holland taglist - @seutarose @lmaotshollandd @photoshopart15 @hopelessly-harry @drie-the-derp @bvttercupbby @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @geminiparkers @blossomparkers @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys @itstaskeen @icyhollands @tpwk-grande @zspideyy @chrisosterfield @starkweasley @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @sonnydoesrandomshit @hopeless-romantic-baby @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets

[petersasteria]

hi ate! 💌 - dollhouse with Tom Holland. Thank you in advance!

Hi!

💌 - Pick a boy and a Melanie Martinez song and I'll write a short lil blurb.

𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 - "𝐰𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲"

Dark!Mob!Tom 940 words

You couldn’t remember anything when you woke up. You did, but your last memory was from the day before and you were out shopping and then the rest was blank. You look around the room you woke up in and you didn’t recognize anything. In fact, you knew something was off. You had a lot of questions and you didn’t know who to ask because you woke up alone and cold.

The door opened to reveal a man with brown hair and a dashing smile that seemed to lure you in. You were done for as soon as you saw him enter the room. It’s as if he knew his effect on you because he smirked when he closed the door behind him.

“Hello, darling.” He smiled. “You’re probably wondering why you’re here.”

You could only nod.

“You’re here because you belong here, darling. You’re meant to be with me and only me.” He said.

“I-I don’t even know you... sir.” You stuttered. You were nervous after all. You never met this man in your life and despite his handsome face, you knew you had a family to go home to.

He clenched his jaw and his demeanor changed. He watched as you got out of bed and grabbed your things by the side of the nightstand. “I have to go home now. Thank you for letting me sleep here.” You said politely before walking towards the door. You didn’t make it, though. He grabbed your wrist tightly and said through gritted teeth, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“B-But-”

“You’re. Not. Going. Anywhere.” He said sternly and pushed you back causing you to stumble a bit. You sat on the bed not knowing what to do.

“You want to go back to your family?”

“Ye-”

“They’re not your family. Or at least, you never acted like a family. Your family’s perfect for the people, but in reality it’s all scripted because you’re hiding the truth.” He laughed bitterly. “I see everything, my dear. I have eyes everywhere. I watch your family’s every move. Even behind closed doors.”

“Your father’s a man-whore; always having a young lady on his lap at bars. He spends his money on his side hoes more than he spends money on his wife; your mum.”

“Speaking of your mum, she’s a depressed alcoholic who can’t get her shit together. She smokes a lot and she puts on very heavy make-up to hide the bags under her eyes caused by staying up all night, waiting for your man-whore father to come home. The reason why she hasn’t left him yet? He has money and he has a job. She doesn’t. She’s a housewife and that’s all she wanted to be.”

You looked at him with a surprised expression because of all the information he knows. At the same time, you were scared of how he got those information. No one knew about it except him.

“Who are you?” You asked in fear, eyes glassy with tears.

“Next is your older brother; the druggie. Always high and always hanging out with the potheads in that sketchy alley at 6th street. Sometimes he injects the drugs in him and one day you found him unconscious on his bedroom floor. You and your mum took him to rehab and he’s been there since. You visit him sometimes, but it seems like he doesn’t change.” He continued.

You let your tears stream down your face and you wiped them away.

“And then there’s you: the forgotten child. Your father stopped acknowledging you as his daughter when you were 15 because you told your mum about his affairs. Your mum hated you for telling her the truth she already knew. Your mum’s motto is ‘ignorance is bliss’ and you ruined it for her. You never spoke to your brother because he was always high. The last decent conversation you had with him was that time when you were 12 and he was 15. After that, his life went downhill.”

“You tried your best to be the perfect daughter that can do no wrong but they failed to notice you. They only gave you money to shut up. If you think about going back there, here’s a little news for you, darling: they don’t care about you. Do you know who cares about you? Me. I care about you. That’s why you’ll stay here with me.” He finished.

“Who are you and how did you know all that?” You cried.

“Like I said, I have eyes everywhere.” He answered shortly. “Your family was never a family to begin with. Your father married your mother because she was his one night stand and was pregnant with your brother. Your father wouldn’t get his generous inheritance if he’s not married and if he doesn’t have a son as a first born. Your mother was his saving grace in terms of inheritance. You were an accident, my love. They hated you and you don’t deserve that.”

He walked towards you and kneeled in front of you. He took your hands in his and kissed your knuckles.

“I can give you the family you’ve always dreamed of; a family that didn’t pretend to be perfect because it’ll be perfect to begin with. We already live in a mansion with ridiculous wealth and superior security protection. The only thing missing is the family you deserve. But that’ll only happen if you stay here with me. I promise you, you won’t regret it.”

“I don’t even know who you are.” You said softly as you looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

He smirked, “Tom Holland, darling. I’m your family now.”

* * * *

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland @poguesholland @superheroesaremytea @marshxx @buckys-little-hoe @harryismysunflower @ella-whyte @buckys-little-hoe @harryismysunflower @hollandsrecs @slytherin-chaser @quaksonhehe @lil-mellow-bunbun @turtoix @badreputationlove @swiftmind @sovereignparker @nerdyandproudofitsstuff @pearce14 @xfirstfemale-marauderx @cherthegoddess @justanamesstuff @chewymoustachio @cocoamoonmalfoy @peterspidey @givebuckyhisplumsnow

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell @justasmisunderstoodasloki @rubberducky-jrr @allyz @osterfieldnholland @miraclesoflove @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @drie-the-derp @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen @call-me-baby-gir1 @the-panwitch @iamaunicorn4704 @geminiparkers @holland-styles @calltothewild​ @fancyxparker @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual @justanothermarvelmaniac @unsaidholland @musicalkeys @lost-in-the-stars03 @hufflepuffprincess24 @hollanddolanfangirl @parkerpeter24 @bellelittleoff @agentnataliahofferson @aqiise @lexirv @blairscott @pearly-pisces​ @theonly1outof-a-billion @u-rrose​ @speedymaximoff​ @theliterarymess @beequeen8020 @justafangirlduh

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[taeyamayang]

i do! three cats and a dog

collectively they have half a brain cell

AHHH the derp face of the first one 🥺 and the second one has a model face DAMN the third one has a cutie babie energy NOOOOO IT'S SO CUTE HHHHH