#b) robin - she's managed to complete it completely drunk

[spookystarfishzombie]

[dontfeeltoohot]

Would you write something with Eddie fainting?

So. This got away from me....oops. I probably didn't need to add as much background info as I did, but oh well. Have 2.6k of Eddie getting dehydrated/dealing with low blood sugar/getting a little too hot on stage. Enjoy!

XXX

Summer of '86, Corroded Coffin starts getting noticed. They're not well known by any means, but a handful of people start showing up the first few times they play at the Hideout, more than just their usual drunks, and then a handful turns into around fifty people, and Eddie's floored.

He's pretty sure it has something to do with his friends, because when they play, Steve and Nancy and Robin and Jonathan all seem to know most of the crowd. Even if it's not everyone's scene, they all seem to enjoy it, and it makes Eddie feel on top of the world. He's alive, he's graduated, and he has the best boyfriend on the planet. And now, his dreams are finally starting to take shape.

It's the beginning of August, it's hot, and they're finishing up a 5 day stint playing shows in cities near by. Last night it had been Fort Wayne, the biggest show they'd ever played, opening for two other bands in a tiny venue. There had been maybe 100 people, but considering the night prior had been maybe 50 people, it felt like they were playing in New York City.

Tonight, they're coming back to Hawkins to play at The Underground as their last little show until a week and a half from now. It's bigger than the hideout and somehow Jonathan had pulled some string with the owner, assuring him that Corroded Coffin would bring in more than just a few people. He's not sure it's completely true, but he'll take what he can get.

They're all exhausted and a little grumpy, it's the first time they've roomed together for four days and had non stop contact 24/7. They've all managed to keep civil, but Eddie swears if he hears Jeff talk about his damn girlfriend one more time and how she's going to Indiana University, he's going to take the mans hat and shove it down his throat.

The Underground has a stage outside during the summer months that means people can lay out on a lawn, have some beer and enjoy music without being stuck in a tiny square box packed together like sardines. They'd be lying if they said they weren't nervous. Metal music is supposed to be enjoyed in close quarters, and the idea of playing for a group spread out is more than a little nerve wracking.

All of Eddie's friends are coming tonight, as well as some of their families, at least that's the last he's heard from Steve when he'd talked to his boyfriend ten hours ago. As they unload equipment, the lead guitarist wipes at his face with his arm, cheeks red and sweaty, curls frizzy. He hates the heat and usually stays inside on afternoons like today. Fuck summer, the man thinks, as he lugs his amp up onto the wooden stage.

It doesn't help that he's not had any food today, and he can't remember if he'd really had much water either. He's nervous for the show, more than he had been for last nights, and his stomach twists uncomfortably when he thinks about all his friends and people he knows truly listening to his bands music. Sighing, Eddie plugs the amp in as Gareth works on his kick drum. The sound echoes in his head uncomfortably.

Two hours before the show, Steve brings food into the small green room that's located inside the building. Eddie's sitting in front of a fan, dark grey shirt soaked around the arm pits, neck and back. When his boyfriend walks in, the curly haired man jumps up, grinning widely. Dizziness that comes with the sudden position change gets brushed off in favor of hugging Steve tight. He looks amazing, wearing shorts and a band tee, looks so much more relaxed than he would have a year ago. Eddie presses a kiss to his lips.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Princess," the older man kisses him again, then finally lets go. He takes a water bottle that's on the table and cracks it open, taking two sips before recapping it and throwing it on the chair he's been occupying. Steve sets the bags of food down. It's nothing special, just McDonalds, but everyone digs in, thanking Steve. Eddie however, stays next to his boyfriend, not hungry in the least bit.

"Hey, Eds, you okay? You look..." Steve trails off, gesturing into the air.

"What?" He's so hot he feels like he's burning from the inside out. He moves back in front of the fan, taking another tiny sip of water, his stomach feeling vaguely sloshy.

"...you look tired. I'm sure you're exhausted from this past week."

"Yeah, can't lie, m'ready to lay down in your bed and sleep for the next twenty four hours," he jokes.

Steve stays with them until they've got half an hour left before the clock hits seven. Eddie isn't feeling any better, at least not physically. He's calmer, more at ease thanks to his boyfriend, but god, he feels shaky and hot and tired. They're all going over their parts, talking through key changes, working out small kinks from the previous nights show.

Standing to go use the restroom, Eddie's world tilts. Instinctively, he reaches out and grips the first thing he can, Tim's shoulder. The bassist looks up in confusion, frowning. The guitarist swallows and blinks, equilibrium returning even though he feels worse than before.

"Dude, you good? You like...changed colors for a second."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. I gotta take a leak," he assures, forcing himself to continue on to the restroom down the hall. head is still swimming. As he washes his hands after peeing, they tremble slightly, and Eddie looks at himself in the mirror, telling himself to get a grip. His lips are pale, face still red from the heat. Yanking his hair tie from his wrist, he pulls his hair up and fixes it in a bun, wispy curls falling to frame his face. He's about to walk out when the world tilts again. Leaning against the metal wall of the closest toilet stall, Eddie rests his head against it, trying to cool his forehead down.

A minute passes before he's good enough to make his way back to the green room. He's not sick, it doesn't feel like that, but it also doesn't feel like anything he's really experienced before. Sliding back in through the door, Eddie grabs his guitar and strums it idly once he's sitting down.

"I went to check a second ago dude, and there's like...way more people than I expected. Even a few people from old classes."

Eddie frowns, not entirely sure he likes the idea of people from school coming to see them preform. Even if Gareth, Jeff and Tim weren't labeled as complete freaks, he was, and his mind goes to getting attacked after the show or getting booed off stage.

"Great," he deadpans, sitting in front of the fan again, eyes shutting. He misses the way the other three look at him and then at each other.

Ten minutes later, they're on stage, doing the final tune up. There is a surprising amount of people, and Eddie swallows thickly. He spies Robin, Nancy and Mrs. Wheeler all talking, and his chest aches slightly, not having realized when they'd said parents they'd meant more than just Joyce. He blinks and tries to not overthink everything as he looks at Tim, making sure their guitars are tuned perfectly.

The show starts. Eddie introduces them, giving off his usual dramatic persona, explaining they're happy to be out tonight, happy to get the opportunity, and then he tells them to be prepared for the second most metal concert ever, grinning when Dustin yells loudly. Steve snorts and Robin says something to the kid, but Eddie's already starting to play, the others following suit.

In the middle of their third song, it starts going down hill- not for everyone out on the lawn, no, they all seem to at least be semi-enjoying themselves. No, it's while Tim is playing his solo that Eddie's stomach suddenly gives an intense flip, as if he's on a rollercoaster heading down the track at 90 miles an hour. Yanking some cord for slack, he turns away from their audience and moves to the back of the stage. Gareth, though continuing to play, turns his head to see what's going on, just as Eddie gets sick in the grass behind them, leaning over the edge of the stage.

He feels shaky as it happens again before he's able to use the bottom of his shirt to wipe his mouth then go back to the front, managing to get there right in time to continue singing. With all that's going on, he's pretty sure no one really noticed, having half hid behind Gareth anyway.

By the end of their fourth song, Eddie's energy is rapidly decreasing, like the life is being sucked out of him. He's pale, drenched in sweat, and his head is swimming. Honestly, the guitarist is amazed he's still able to hit every note on his Warlock, still able to sing all the lyrics to the songs they've written. They're over halfway through with the next song when Eddie fumbles slightly, hitting an Am instead of a C. It's barely noticeable in the grand scheme of things, especially to anyone in the crowd, but Tim looks at him curiously and Eddie gives a smile back, pretending nothing's happened.

Between the seventh and eighth song, the last of their set, while Gareth is fixing his high hat and Jeff tweaks his bass, Eddie moves to the back of the stage again, hands shaking, guitar moved to around to his other side.

"Eddie, you okay?" Gareth asks, turning to shield him and try to stay quiet.

"Y-Yeah...s'fuckin' hot..." Eddie mumbles before retching into the grass again. When he turns back, the curly haired man is wiping his face with his bandana, then his mouth, spitting a few times and taking a bottle of water from next to the drum shield, rinsing his mouth out.

"Man, maybe we should cut it sh-"

"We got one more song Gareth, I'll be fine."

The lack of dramatic flare has Gareth's stomach sinking.

Eddie moves to stand back in front, mouth pressing against the microphone. "Alright guys, we got one last song for you tonight. It's not an original, but a cover for my friend Dustin, the little brat," he jokes, making a bunch of the party's parents laugh. Max snorts but Dustin beams back at him. Looking back at the band, he lets Gareth count them off, and then they're shredding to Master of Puppets.

It's hazy. He's pretty sure he hits the right notes but the world is blurring dangerously as his fingers move lightning fast through the chords. When they finish, everyone is clapping and yelling, and Eddie gives a shaky grin.

"Thanks s-so much for coming out tonight to check us out! Have a good night!"

Eddie turns and instantly sets his guitar on it's stand. Usually he'll stay, play a few softer riffs, then hop off stage to meet people. Hell, that had been his plan up until about two minutes ago. Now, as he's walking towards the stairs of the stage, all three band members are watching, obviously confused and worried.

"Eddie, hey, what's going on?"

"Yeah man, don't you wan-"

"I need t-to sit...I don't... Eddie shifts restlessly as his head swims again. It's so fucking hot he feels like he might actually be on fire. He's so hot, so restless, so exhausted, that he yanks his t-shirt off over his head, throwing it, feeling slightly out of control.

The other three are surrounding him now, all worried. Tim turns and his eyes scan the grass. He runs over to the edge of the front of the stage.

"Yo Harrington! I think we might need you up here, something wr-" A clatter behind him has some people turning to look, including himself.

Eddie's laying on the stage, unmoving. Gareth is grabbing the water bottle behind him and Tim's shaking the guitarists shoulder, voice panicking as he yells for him to wake up.

Steve, Robin, Joyce, Hopper, Mrs. Wheeler and Dustin all go running at the same time. Steve and Joyce get to him first, Joyce sprinting just as fast as the ex-swim captain, jumping onto the stage. Steve slides next to Gareth, checking his boyfriend over to make sure he didn't hurt himself in the process, while Joyce shifts Eddie's legs up, bending them. Twelve seconds later, Eddie makes a noise and his eyes flutter open.

Well fuck...what the hell. He's looking up at his friends faces, all of which look terrified.

"Jesus!"

"Oh fuck, thank god."

"Dude what in the hell just happened?!"

"Eddie, hey, it's alright...you passed out," Joyce's voice cuts through all the insanity. "Hey..it's okay. Do you know where you are?"

Her gentle demeanor and calming voice puts Eddie at ease, even though he's thoroughly confused. Hadn't he just been starting Master of Puppets? He looks around slightly, trying to sit up. Steve puts a hand on his shirtless torso, effectively keeping him down.

"Underground....s'hot."

Steve grabs the water bottle from Gareth's hand, uncaps it, then dumps the whole thing on Eddie before anyone can even realize what he's about to do. Eddie gasps and a few others follow. Dustin gapes at Steve, and Robin's eyes are wide.

"He's probably got heat exhaustion, he needs to be cooled down. I learned what to do for lifeguarding," Steve explains, already looking for another bottle of water, eyes darting around. Tim produces on and Steve dumps it on Eddie's chest and abdomen.

"When's the last time he ate? Or drank? Because he sure as hell didn't eat dinner before this," Steve looks at the other band members, who all look at him guiltily.

"He kept saying he wasn't hungry..."

"Fuck! So he's just been running on absolutely nothing all day?!"

"Steve," Robin cuts in. "Lets get him inside, okay? Get him inside, get him cooled off, that's what's going to help. I'll grab some food."

Steve nods and looks down at Eddie, who's blinking and staring at him.

Hopper and Jeff carry him into the Underground, everyone else following. Steve stays as close as possible. Moments later, Robin appears with some chips and a soda.

"They're going to find more stuff, but this is just to get something in him. He needs sugar," she explains frantically.

"Guys, m'okay..." Eddie mumbles, letting Steve open the bag of chips for him. "Really...just..got hot," he shrugs.

"Dude, you were puking while we were playing, you're not ok."

"You literally passed out."

"Honey, you need to take a few minutes to let your body calm down."

Dustin appears with a wet washcloth, and puts it on the back of Eddie's neck, making the twenty year old groan in satisfaction, the cold water euphoric.

Eventually, as Eddie starts getting his color back, a few of them start to give him space. The guys go to pack up their stuff, Ms. Wheeler goes to find Mike and Nancy. Soon, it's just Steve and Eddie, sitting at a table, Eddie sipping shakily on the coke that's been brought to him.

"M'sorry...I should have eaten.."

"Shut up. Just...right now, all I care about is that you're okay. That was scary as hell Eddie," Steve shakes his head. After looking around to make sure no workers are paying attention, he grabs the others free hand, squeezing it.

"Yeah well...scary for me too...can't even remember the last song at all," he admits, setting the coke down so he can rub at his face. "But..m'sorry, still. I love you."

"I love you too, you idiot."

[mattzerella-sticks]

How I’d Fix Titans on HBO Max

So this is just a little post to release some pent-up steam about the Titans show because this is the third season, and this is the third time I’ve let myself be bamboozled into thinking I’d enjoy the major storyline. And I’ve got a lot of thoughts since the first season about things I’d’ve done differently if I were given creative control of the show.

DISCLAIMER: I’ll only be plotting out the season story beats, as this is what I believe is the worst crime of the show. I think the casting is fine, even if a few wouldn’t be my first choice (*cough* Iain Glen as Bruce Wayne *cough*). My only note for set design is BETTER LIGHTING. I’m not the most well-versed in cinematography; I do think they’ve improved over the seasons, but pinpointing all the little details will take too much time and that’s not what this is focused on.

Starting with SEASON 1:

Trigon should not have been our s1 big bad. The audience for Titans will mostly be made up of people who probably were introduced to comics and these characters from shows like Justice League and Teen Titans, the latter of which already handled the Trigon storyline very well with most of the heroes Titans decided to use. Besides that, the SFX for Trigon alone would - despite the massive budget HBO Max allowed for projects like this - ultimately disappoint (and we were... at least I was). It’s not like animation or comics where the depiction of the battle between a massive demon and a team of superheroes would be better resolved. Exploring Raven’s powers and origins, however, was the right choice for season 1 since - in George Perez’s Titans - Raven was the one who assembled them together. Yes, this was to battle Trigon in the end... but it doesn’t have to be that way.

The season 1 threat should have been Sebastian Blood and his cult. It seemed like they were the B-villains, but the followers of Trigon felt kind of generic and, like Trigon, disappointing. There’d be a lot more freedom to handle this because Brother Blood wasn’t as well explored in Titans media, the only incarnation being from the Teen Titans cartoon but stripped of his cult-and-demon origins. Infusing these elements back into the character would make it original and, if done correctly, timely. Like, a good representation of who Sebastian Blood could have been is a portrayal similar to James Wolk as Joe Keene, Jr. on Watchmen the series; someone who is viewed favorably with good press but ultimately runs a secret cabal with many followers a goal of world domination under the banner of ‘The Four-Eyed Demon’. And to do this, they need the Demon’s daughter.

Which brings us to Rachel. Having her be pursued still works as a great set-up, however instead of followers of Trigon they’re followers of Sebastian Blood. She needs help. Especially if we keep the scene of her foster mother being murdered. Instead of Dick, though, she runs into Starfire.

And our entry point into Starfire would be different, too. We find her on an alien spaceship, in its jail, but then she sees visions as the ship passes over Earth and invigorated by the machine’s malfunctioning (due to Raven’s spirit, as we’d find out), Starfire manages to escape and finds her way to Rachel. Saving Rachel ( “I believe we can help each other”). In this way the Starfire and Raven relationship replacing the Dick and Raven relationship as the crux of season 1.

I’d still include Dick, albeit in a different capacity and with a lot changed. When he finds Rachel and Starfire, it’s because he was investigating activity in the area (he’d been tracking the cult for a while). He’s working undercover but also as the Robin persona. He still believes in the mission while, at this point in the story, Batman has given up and retired. This is because Jason Todd had died a year ago, and because of this and thinking it’s his fault - Bruce gave up and abandoned Gotham for parts unknown to deal with his grief. Dick helps Starfire and Rachel, and together the trio leave for elsewhere - Dick aware of how the cult needs Rachel and haunted that he couldn’t look after Jason, he sees how he can protect Rachel and clings to tha, Rachel curious about why a cult would want her and what her origins are, and Starfire, free of her imprisonment and indebted to Rachel but also homesick as she didn’t leave of her own choice. Over the course of the series they’d grow closer as a family, especially when Gar joins them (I would keep the Doom Patrol episode because that episode served its purpose well, of being a backdoor pilot - maybe change a few things but those details are so minute it’s not worth mentioning).

A big change - no Hawk and Dove. I think Minka Kelly and Alan Ritchson were great choices and acted well with what was given to them, plus I enjoyed Hank’s backstory and think, if they wanted to, a Hawk and Dove miniseries would have been fantastic to explore that better (and allow for a better paced introduction between Dawn and Hank). That being said, my main reason for cutting out Hawk & Dove is two-fold. First, how they killed Dawn’s mom and Don Hall. That was so dirty and so badly conceived. Second, the weird love triangle between Dick, Dawn, and Hank. It just made no sense. 

Instead of Hawk and Dove, I think a better choice to introduce into live action would be Karen Beecher and Mal Duncan - Bumblebee and Herald. Especially after reading their issue of ‘Secret History of the DC Universe’. Have Mal want to be a hero, then meeting Karen, and not wanting him to go it alone she joins him with her tech. They are approached to join the Titans and do, only being superheroes begins to put a stressor on their relationship. And one night Karen and Dick, a little drunk, a little sad from events that will be explained in s2 hook up. Once this is found out Karen and Herald leave and this marks the end of the Titans. This will also tie into Dick’s feelings about how he felt he keeps losing his family, and the Titans breaking up was viewed as his fault, so instead of being against personal relationships he is the one trying to make this new team - Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy - his third chance). Instead of Dawn being knocked into a coma, I say it should be Mal (because then we can get Karen trying to save him and giving him robotic vocal chords which will allow him to do more, like sonic screams or whatever a la Vox, his post-Infinite Crisis identity). This will also further shine a light on their issues, because while Mal gave up heroics altogether, Karen would suit up time to time and Mal feels like Karen used his coma as an opportunity to give him powers because she wants him to be someone he’s not.

Their adaptation of the Nuclear Family was iconic™ so that’d definitely stay in (especially because Nuclear Family - one of the values they in the group believe in lol). The convent episode, too, although instead of flashbacks to Dick’s past we should have Starfire and how she grew up being the prisoner of warlords and experimented on; which is why she’s uneasy leaving Rachel with the sisters and then explodes when she sees Rachel strapped down because it triggers her. We will also have some of these hallucinations in the asylum scene. The episode with Dick and Jason would be replaced by the aliens who captured Kory coming back to take her to their planet, the team coming together to rescue her.

The biggest diversion, I think, would be after the asylum episode. The group escapes, except there’s no Arella, and it’s believed that Rachel sacrificed herself to tear the organization down and without her the group goes their separate ways. Dick goes to Donna Troy because he wants to know why, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t keep anyone around. Starfire is stuck on Earth and unsure about what to do next after finding out, in the replaced Jason Todd episode, that her sister sold her to the enemy. Gar doesn’t believe Rachel is dead. The three of them (plus Karen and Mal) receive visions from Rachel and realize that she’s still in danger and go to help.

Rachel is being held by the Cult of Blood and are working on setting up the ritual. By the time the group arrives to where she is, she is a happy member, and she tells them that they should join and be saved. They’re confused by the dreams they have - it’s Raven’s soul self fighting against her chains.

This season would culminate with the Cult of Blood capturing the group after Dick, not knowing when to leave well enough alone, rushes in and gets ‘baptized’ into the Cult and is brainwashed like Raven (although not like in that dumb dream episode that was ridiculous). He, like the others, are in attendance for the wedding between Sebastian Blood and Raven (which would be creepy because he’s 32 she’s 14), but at the pleading of Starfire Dick is freed from his mind control and releases them and they fight to free Rachel. It’s too late, however, as the ritual is completed and the ‘kiss’ is Sebastian drinking Rachel’s blood. Doing this opens up a portal which sucks up Sebastian and his followers, and is only closed after Starfire breaks through to Rachel and she gets control and closes the portal herself. The group leaves, stronger than ever, and assured that being Titans means more than being a team.

We’d get after credits scenes of the cult learning of Sebastian’s demise and their next plans, saying that “Junior” will have to be prepared earlier tha expected. Then, the other after credits scene - because Raven’s portal caused disasters across the world (”Raven ‘cleansing’ the world for Trigon’s arrival) - is Superboy breaking free.

Also, goes without saying, RAVEN WOULD HAVE HAD A BETTER WIG!

SEASON 2:

Goes without saying that season 2 would explore themes from the 1st season. Dick Grayson defining himself by who he is surrounded by, a season long search for an identity that is his and not what’s given to him (by Batman) and settling into the role as a leader as Nightwing (also, by retiring Robin, he won’t let the past haunt him). Starfire settling on Earth, her choice, and making friendships and relationships that last and help her realize this is her home. Raven is struggling to control the darker aspects of her powers after them being awakened during the ritual while also allowing herself to be a teenage girl. Beast Boy trying to fit in with this group while also wanting to prove that he can do more than just ‘turn into a green tiger’. Karen and Mal’s relationship would definitely hit rough patches (especially when Mal leaves the team and Karen because he only stayed with the team because of Karen). Donna recovering from the trauma of the original incarnation of Teen Titans, which is brought to the forefront once we introduce Deathstroke as having returned.

The second season, however, would start out not with any of these characters but with the continuation of the second after credits scene that introduced Superboy. That was one of my biggest gripes with the second season, how DELAYED the introduction of Conner was. You don’t have that scene and then keep us waiting for five episodes. Second season we enter on Superboy from the JUMP. Do the entire ‘Conner’ episode but only changing the ending, where instead of him saving Jason (because remember, Jason’s ‘dead’ at this point). Instead of that, he and Krypto are stumbling around a non-descript city, lost, unsure of what to do with their power, until they see a broadcast of the Titans saving people and realize that’s where they should head. On the other side of this, Mercy - having failed in recapturing Superboy - hire Deathstroke to go and find him. He accepts, and begins on his trail. This will help tie the antagonists’ storylines together so it’s not as disjointed as it felt in season 2 (instead of competing for the narrative they share it).

Then, we have the Titans doing their thing - Robin, Bumblebee, Vox, and Wonder Girl back in their costumes while Gar, Raven, and Starfire are training and learning while also helping take down villains in the San Francisco base. There are memories there, sure, but the others are doing their best to make it look like it’s not bothering them, Donna especially. We can have Arthur Light break out and go on a warpath for the Titans, and this can be our lead-in to the backstory episode of how the Titans became the Titans (because ‘Aqualad’ was one of the worst episodes of anything I’ve ever seen, badly written, poorly edited, and so misplaced). We see Robin, Wonder Girl, Aqualad and Speedy - Mia Dearden - coming together to chase down Dr. Light after an alert came in to the League that went unanswered because the League was busy dealing with something else. While fighting him, they receive help from Mal (in his Guardian identity) and Karen, and together they decide being a team is great and it’s nice having peers instead of mentors working iwth, so they form the Titans.

While in the midst of the big climactic battle with Dr. Light, where he’s firing on innocent civilians, he hits Superboy and nothing happens and Superboy helps them defeat Dr. Light. As they welcome Conner and he explains why he’s there, he’s struck in the back by a kryptonite bullet and we see Deathstroke watching from above telling Mercy it’s done. “So you’ll be bringing the subject back?” “Actually... there’s some business here I’ll need to settle first.” We’ll have another scene where, in an apartment, a young girl with white hair is watching footage from when Superboy was shot and recognizes a blur on the rooftop. She tells her brother, who tells her to leave it alone and if they lay low maybe Deathstroke will leave without realizing they’re here. She tells him that, despite what he or their mom thinks, she’s going to take care of him once and for all. This is Rose and Jericho.

Superboy is in a coma, the team trying to save him as the bullet didn’t fully kill him. Donna is shaken because it reminds her of what happened in the past, the last blow that spelled the end for the first generation of Titans. We get some more flashbacks. Showing Dick and Karen getting closer while Mal sort of stews silently, Aqualad getting into fights with everyone because he’s been trying their patience a lot (kind of like the friend you only hang out with because your dad is friends with his dad), and awkwardness between Donna and Mia since we learn they were interested in each other but never acted on it (because Donna is a lesbian and her and Aqualad were compulsory heterosexuality PLUS they could only mention Roy Harper but not actually show him). Soon we find out that Donna is being called back to Themyscria to finish her training, and the team throws a goodbye party. This is where Mal and Karen have a fight and she gets a bit too drunk, so does Dick because Donna is his best friend and he’s going to miss her, and they both have been feeling stress, so they hook up. Also, Mia leaves to tell Donna that she’s in love with her at the airport, and asks if it’s okay if she comes with (”It is an island full of women after all. I’m sure... this, us... would be more accepted than here.”) Before Donna can say yes Mia is shot dead by Deathstroke before her eyes. This, coupled with Mal finding Dick and Karen in bed together, leads to the Titans’ disolvement. We’ll see Kory comforting her while Dick searches for who shot the bullet with Karen and Mal, fearing that Donna might be right - and angry when she is.

They save Conner and he joins the Titans just in time to help them face Deathstroke, but also have to contend with Rose who isn’t on Deathstroke’s side but also isn’t friendly with them. It’s only when Jericho comes to them and explains his and Rose’s backstory, of being Slade’s kids, do they understand and work out an agreement to help take down Deathstroke and his backers (who turn out to be Cadmus).

Meanwhile, with Deathstroke taking too long, Mercy approaches Conner with an offer to let them help him and that the Titans are only pretending to be his friend, meanwhile they only care about his powers; but in the end they’re kids and don’t know what they’re doing. When this fails to work, they kidnap him and Krypto, replacing him with a version of Conner who is obedient to them to work as an infiltrator. Mercy then approaches Deathstroke, showing him she has a guy on the inside, and tells him that she’ll help him take down the Titans but they’re doing this her way.

Eve, imprisoned by CADMUS, helps Conner and Krypto escape (by sacrificing herself or not by sacrificing herself, dealer’s choice), and they hurry to the final battle between Deathstroke & Cadmus vs. the Titans. Just when it looks like they have Deathstroke beat, ‘Superboy’ turns and starts attacking the others. Conner hasn’t arrived, and it looks like everyone is down for the count. The fake Superboy (Match) has Kory in his grips and is attacking her, only for Donna to recover and tackle him. She batters him, punches him, and as she’s about to strike him again he uses his laser vision to strike Donna through the heart (a la Graduation Day - a much better way to ‘kill Donna’ then by electricity). Superboy arrives too late to save her, but he does take the other Superboy away before he explodes (Mercy’s final play - it would’ve killed Deathstroke too). Conner is still alive, and he’s saved everyone. In the confusion, Deathstroke slipped away.

We wind down, Rose and Jericho promise to hunt Deathstroke down and make him pay for his crimes. This will at least explain why they aren’t in s3 (which sucks, because Rose was GOOD). Raven still promises to bring Donna to Themyscira and work on bringing her back. Conner isn’t blamed for Donna’s death and they reassure him that they’re his family and welcome him back. Dick has taken on the Nightwing mantle and accepts the responsibility of being a leader, and that while he might not have been mature enough in the past, he can’t let that define him - only he can define who he is). Kory wants to go with Raven, but understands that she needs to stay with the team and only wishes Rachel luck, hoping Donna can return from the dead. Mal rejoins the team, he and Karen promising to be better to each other. Gar’s feelings of uselessness will continue because, as Conner’s best friend, he should have known something was off.(I don’t see this plot point ever being fully resolved until maybe later on).

Deathstroke wouldn’t die because you don’t WASTE Deathstroke! Killing Deathstroke cuts off so much potential in terms of storylines. I mean, there goes the Judas Contract which, despite us already having a varied animated retellings, would be beloved if done live-action and right.

Also, sorry to my DickKory fans but season 2 would lay the groundwork for some DonnaKory endgame - although the main romantic struggle would be between Dick, Donna, and Kory, with Kory at the middle and Dick and Donna the best friends who fight over her.

SEASON 3:

If we are working within the parameters of this season, and want to tackle Red Hood, there is a possibility that I’ve been thinking over and will expand upon here.

As I’ve mentioned before, Jason is dead. Because of this, Batman has abandoned his crusade against crime in Gotham because he feels there is no point to his battle and can’t continue. He’s been gone for a long time, however, this is the season where I would introduce him. He comes to visit San Francisco and Dick a very changed man, smiling, brightly-colored clothes, very into new age mysticism (”This is Batman?”). We find out that, after Jason’s death, Bruce went out on a new mission, to find a way to be at peace over the things he can’t control, and so through this journey he’s discovered inner peace and how to live despite all he’s lost. And he’s come back to Dick to share this knowledge with him, as a way to make up for indoctrinating him with these bad habits and instead lead a healthier life (crimefighting being like a drug). This will put Dick in a crossroads, questioning if he’s doing this (this being heroics) because he’s trying to use it to heal or if he really is meant to be a hero. This will be the season where the driving question is - Why Do We Don the Masks?

At the end of the first episode, however, we do the scene where the crime bosses meet up and Red Hood introduces himself, saying that he’s going to be taking control of all the criminal enterprises in Gotham.

This catches Barbara’s attention, and so she contacts Dick to fly back to Gotham and help contain this. After her appointment as Commissioner, she’s made great strides in helping clean up Gotham - especially in the tough months that followed once Batman retired (”Joker’s been imprisoned in the Slab, and he’s been abnormally quiet”). They still come up against costumed criminals but the police are better prepared to fight them, especially with help from Barbara, who knows the strategies, and Lucius Fox, CEO of Wayne, who helps develop non-lethal tech for the police to use in the battles. What’s also been helping is a small group of crimefighters who have taken to the streets, picking up the slack after Batman’s disappearance. (Barbara, “But this Red Hood... he might be too much for them to handle. We don’t want another me, or worse... another Jason.”) Dick promises to help, with both Red Hood and this group of kids - especially because one of them has taken to calling himself Robin.

That’s right! I’d introduce Young Justice in s3 - composed of Robin (Tim Drake), Spoilers (Stephanie Brown), Hawk and Dove (Hank Hall and Don Hall). Tim saw what was happening to his city after Batman quit, and decided enough was enough and became a vigilante to honor him and Jason, taking up the Robin mantle. He met up with Stephanie Brown, daughter of criminal Cluemaster, and brother Hank and Don Hall, who were working as vigilantes targeting molestors (very in-line with how Titans showed them, they’d just be younger). They’ll end up in a situation where they’re in over their heads, only to be saved by Nightwing who tells them with no uncertainty that they need to shut their operation down or else they’ll end up hurt (because they’re untrained).

Meanwhile, back in San Francisco, Starfire isn’t handling Donna’s death nor Rachel’s absence well, and is being inundated with strange visions that is making her act out of character. What’s not helping is that Bruce Wayne has decided to stay in San Francisco with them while Dick is in Gotham. Conner and Gar are enjoying this relaxed, free-spirited Bruce (he’s like the fun uncle), but it drives Kory crazy. These visions are from her sister, and even though she hates her for selling her, after finding out she’s on Earth and trapped somewhere, she goes to rescue her with Gar and Conner at her sides. They resuce her and bring her back, and Blackfire ‘apologizes’, telling Starfire that it was either Kory or their planet - and as the eldest she made the tough choice so their people wouldn’t suffer anymore harm. Starfire accepts this and welcomes her back. Also happening in San Francisco, Karen and Mal are at a crossroads because of a new development - she’s pregnant. This has put a stop on her hero journey, and while she is excited about being a mother she also wants to be a hero and we see more of them trying to work through their problems. Gar is also using Bruce to indulge himself so he doesn’t have to think about being the ‘useless’ member of the team, using his powers like a party trick to feel like he’s useful, which worries Conner.

In Themyscira, Raven pours through their texts to see how she can resurrect Donna. While there, she befriends and is aided by a young girl, Cassie Sandsmark, who is staying on the island with her mom while doing work (archaeology work); together, they find a way to reach Donna in the afterlife through an ancient ritual most of the Amazons are wary of. This doesn’t stop them, and together they perform the ritual. Raven journeys into the afterlife while Cassie is there to wake Raven if things look rough; while in the afterlife she hears the voices of Sebastian Blood and the ‘dark’ side of her, but is reminded of who she’s searching for by a soft, familiar woman’s voice and makes it to Elysium. There Rachel finds Donna and Mia, together. Donna is wary about going back, because she is happy with Mia; but Mia and Rachel remind her that there’s happiness down on Earth and there’s a lot left to live for. Donna agrees to follow Raven back, but not before saying goodbye to Mia who tells Donna she will find love again, only she shouldn’t be afraid this time to say something about it. I’d also love to see a way to involve Dark Angel somehow, maybe as a dark force approaching to prevent Donna from returning to life?

Nightwing is working with Barbara to shut down Red Hood’s operations, but it’s not going too well. It’s starting to feel like Nightwing is being taunted now, too, because a lot of what Red Hood is doing feels personal, like he knows Nightwing behind the mask. Ultimately, when Red Hood catches Young Justice and gives them a good beating, Dick stops him and it’s revealed that Jason is under the helmet. We then find out how he was brought back to life when, just as Dick has Nightwing beat, someone intervenes and saves Jason - Thalia al Ghul. We get an episode dedicated to Jason’s backstory, where he wasn’t killed, only badly beaten to the point of death. However, it was assumed he died because of the explosion. Bruce couldn’t find the body, he assumed it had been obliterated. Really, Jason had wandered away and was found by strangers and admitted to a hospital with severe brain damage. One day someone came to collect him, Talia al Ghul. She brought him to her home and used the Lazarus Pits to revive him, then trained him in assasinry so he could do the one thing Bruce never could - save Gotham.

Dick, while recovering in the Manor with the kids from Young Justice, calls up Bruce and tells him that Jason is alive. This will lead to Kory finally confronting Bruce and yelling at him that he hasn’t ‘found peace’ and instead switched coping mechanisms. This inspires Bruce to return to Gotham, the Titans following him (save Karen and Mal). Donna and Rachel meet them there, and we get the reunions plus Young Justice meeting the Titans.

We get reports that the Joker has escaped the Slab, and we find out Jason has kidnapped him. As the team investigates across Gotham, Dick goes on his own to where he knows Jason has Joker. They fight, with Jason threatening to blow them all up because as long as the Joker is dead it doesn’t matter. “He deserves it. He deserves it for all hat he’s done. For what he did to me! Please... why can’t you let me do this?” Bruce arrives, at that point, to tell him why. Because it won’t change things. Jason yells at Bruce, then, and Bruce accepts it. We also hear from Bruce about why he didn’t kill Joker, though he was close. Bruce admits that he snuck into Arkham with the decision to kill the Joker, but stopped just outside his cell. He realized that it wouldn’t bring Jason back, just as it wouldn’t bring his parents back, and he didn’t want to disappoint Jason by becoming a killer. Jason and Bruce make up, though Joker still dies - Thalia kills him. “If you won’t ensure a safer world, my Darling, I’ll do it for you.” She then detonates the explosives to escape and the three barely escape with their lives.

You’d think they’d get some rest, then, huh? WRONG! Because while searching for Jason, Blackfire betrays Kory and reveals she sold Kory so she could secure her position as ruler of Tamaran. A warship then appears in the sky where Blackfire takes Kory, announcing that Gotham will be the first city to fall during the invasion.

The s3 finale would then be the Titans vs. aliens as they drive off the alient threat, with Donna, Jason, and Dick working together to free Starfire from her sister. We’ll get a final battle between Starfire and Blackfire where Starfire asserts her status as the stronger sister, and that while she wishes Blackfire wanted a relationship between them, she won’t cry over it anymore. Blackfire takes her fleet and leaves Earth after facing humilation, and the group returns to Wayne Manor to celebrate.

Bruce has decided that, not only will he return to Gotham, but Batman will be coming back. He won’t be alone, as he’ll have a team with him. Jason decides to stay in Gotham and work on his relationship with Bruce, although knowing he will have to go out and find Thalia at some point. Hopefully by then, Tim and Steph will be well-prepared to stand on their own as Robin and Spoiler - inducted into the Batfamily. Hank and Don choose to go with the Titans back to San Francisco, especially since they were very impressed with their teamwork and Gar, who was able to transform past a tiger into something else.

We won’t be involving the Scarecrow in this. Scarecrow’s involvement wasn’t about the Titans and more of DC trying to tie him in elsewhere since Fear State will be starting soon. Plus *spoilers* Bruce killing Joker was the worst decision for Titans to do. It only served to do away with Bruce Wayne so he wouldn’t be involved in the show anymore which they could have easily solved if he wasn’t introduced too early. Keeping the Titans in Gotham for the entire season feels incongruent to who the team is and what the team is about, so if they divided the storyline between Gotham and San Francisco it’d probably play easier and allow for the characters to grow in their own way instead of being chained to the one prevailing storyline that is Under the Red Hood. And when they come back to San Francisco the Titans realize the benefits of training the youth of heroics and commit to teaching Rachel, Gar, Conner, Hank, and Don - and they introduce Cassie who joins them after getting the go-ahead from her mom and Diana. While Karen might not be able to delve into heroics for awhile because of her baby, she can still help by teaching. This will then lead into the next season which would be Titans vs. H.I.V.E. Academy, reintroduction of Slade, and bringing Terra into the fold while also having Rose and Jericho return, too.

Season three would sort of test everyone, give them the option to walk away from being a hero or choose being a hero, and strengthens their resolve to continue, comforted by how this is their choice and it’s what they’re good at.

If anyone from Titans reads this and wants me for s4 feel free to contact me

[jasmehraj]

Timari out-sick au                                               

Marinette came to Gotham heart-broken. Her best friend, her first crush, her partner knows nothing about her. Nothing. Gabriel hit him hard on the head causing him to lose memory of last 4 years. She then punched Gabriel so hard the battle didn't last long. She was there when he woke up.

"Chaton you are awake?"

"Father? .....Who are you? Where is father and mother?"

She ran away from him and packed her bags. She ended up in Gotham. She did some research on Gotham's vigilantes. She was clearly impressed by Red Robin. He is very smart, analyzed every moment, very powerful and definitely handsome. He is her age and she is sure that he is handsome, there's no way he isn't and he is a coffee addict just like her.

In short she had a crush on him. She started going out as Rouge Gorge. Sometimes she shadowed the vigilantes and sometimes she went out alone. She disguised herself with Trixx's illusions. They all could sense her somehow and Red Robin always looks straight to her direction.

That is why she ended up in this situation. She went out a little earlier than usual. The bats had yet to come. She was running on the rooftops alone when she saw him. A completely sleep deprived man with many coffee cups in his hands. He probably wasn't aware of the people following him, probably muggers. She jumped into action as for some reason he turned to an alleyway. She took care of the two muggers. Where did the third one go? She turned to see the man had pinned the mugger. Subconsciously, without thinking, her stupid mouth said,"R..red robin?"

"So you are the shadow following us?"Well shit. He just confirmed it.

He took a coffee cup and chugged down a whole cup! Then he started coughing. Aaah he is falling. She caught him just in time. What should I do? What should I do?

She made the worst decision of her life. She took him to her apartment.

That's her story. Now she is sitting beside her crush who is laying on her bed, still unconscious. She took the cup he drank and smelled it. It smelled like, like BRANDY? What the hell?

That means he drank a whole cup of very strong alcohol even when he had probably never drank it in this much amount ALL HIS LIFE.

He suddenly woke up and asked her for bathroom. She led him quickly and he threw up. He is probably not aware of his surroundings. That is bad. He rinsed his mouth and she took him back to bed. He was very hot like literally very hot. He has high fever, vomiting..-I'll just check the internet. She then took some water and a cloth. She put the wet cloth on his forehead. He woke up an hour later.

"Shadow?"

"No I am not a shadow. I am Marinette."

"So your vigilant name is Marinette. Its very beautiful name." She felt her face heat up.

"No its Rouge Gorge."

"That's very nice too darling."

She huffed, her red cheeks betraying her,"Thank you."

"Its Ok love."

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" He looked like an innocent child. Like he doesn't know anything. Why the hell is he tilting his head at his side. That asshole is smirking.

She groaned,"Calling me these names..?"

"Well darling, are you not the same person who named yourself after me?" Now as if she could get any more red.

"Well that doesn't give a reason to call me those names."

He pretended to think," Well you are beautiful."

She turned away and ran out of there after yelling,"Message your friends, family or something. This conversation is going no where."

When she came back he was sleeping. She sighed in relief. Her cheeks were still red. Maybe taking her drunk crush inside her home wasn't that good idea.

________________________________________________________________________________

Tim slowly opened his eyes. He looked at his surroundings. He was in a bed and the room was unfamiliar. When did he get here? He remembers that while going home he was attacked and the shadow? He took a small knife from his inside pocket. He slowly got out of the bed without making a noise. He made his way towards the door where music was playing.

He slowly opened it to reveal a midnight hair girl working with some kind of..........clothes?

"Who are you and where am I?" She was startled and let out a slow 'ouch'. She put her finger in her mouth.

"You don't remember?"

".........No?"

"I am the shadow as you say. Let me finish. I was out when I saw you getting mugged. I went to help you. You told me you are Red Robin.-"

"I told you?"

"I just said Red Robin and you said Oh so you are the shadow. You drank very strong brandy which was in your coffee. How the hell did you manage to get Brandy in a coffee cup."

He groaned and said,"Jasoooooon....."

"So I didn't know where to take you so I took you to my home...... You were drunk. And.....-"

"And-" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well I told you that my name was Rouge Gorge you started flirting with me. I took care of you. Now you can go back wherever you live. You were sleeping from past 16 hours."

She was not looking at him. She was stitching? He leaned closer to see she was stitching MDC on a skirt.

He processed everything. She is MDC who is also the shadow and her name is Rouge Gorge which means, Red Robin. He flirted with her. SHE IS MDC. SHE IS MDC.

Now his whole face was red. This was the most embarrassing thing he had ever been in. He is going to kill Jason for this.

Just then the doorbell rang. That broke her out of her stupor. He was frozen on his place. He heard voices suspiciously like his family and ran to the door.

Dick was squealing,"Timmy got so cute girlfriend. She is so cute."

Jason laughed,"We are not sure that he didn't kidnap her. She is too good for him."

Damian,"Tt Why did you inbeciles dragged me here?"

Cass just said,"I approve."

Stephanie said,"He never mentioned you before, you are so cute and tiny. Speaking of him where is he?"

Poor Marinette was stuck between them as they asked questions after questions. Then their gaze turned to Tim.

"Oh god, where are your bags Tim? How is this possible? How are you not half-dead. You must be magic you got him to sleep."

"Timmy you were with her, for how long?"

"You got a girlfriend replacement? She is too good for you give her to me."

All the voices were mixing with each other.

"What makes you think she is um.. my girlfriend?"

"You messaged us."

He opened his phone and read the Message.

I, Timothy Drake-Wayne the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, am staying with my girlfriend Marinette. Don't you dare to come here.

What could he possibly say. Suddenly he remembered the MDC signature. He looked at her and said,"You are MDC?" pointing at her.

"Umm, yess." Her voice was barely audible.

He took her hand and sat on one knee,"Marry me."

"What we are not even dating."

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"I.... I guess?"

The silence was broken by Dick,"You are MDC."

"You were not dating?"

"Tt you are so dramatic."

"Replacement what is the meaning of this?"

Tim turned to Jason and said,"Thank you Jason."

With that he went out the door,"Be ready till 3 Marinette."

BONUS:

Louis : So how did you two met?

Tim: My brother put brandy in my coffee cup. She took care of me and when I get to know she was my favorite designer and how amazing she is....

Clark: And?

Marinette: He asked me to marry him, I said we are not even dating so he asked me for a date.

Louis :..............................................

Clark:...............................................

Cameraman:.....................................

Batfamily: (Laughing)

Louis: We give you our blessing for your wedding.

Clark: God bless you.

[mischiefandspirits]

I just remembered this one piece of dialogue from the rough draft of Colony of Gotham that ended up getting cut that I liked so I decided to share some of my favorite cut lines:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce looks between them and he realizes something he should have figured out years ago. Batman has a weakness: Stubborn children.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And really, even if I had left, I would have come back the moment Babs or B needed me. Honestly, it’s probably for the best that I didn’t go. It forced B and I to actually work through this stuff and I learned something important.” Dick looked down and made sure Jason met his eyes. “No matter how much we argue, we’re always going to be there for each other. Us birds and bats, we’re a family. We have to stick together. Got it?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There’s other evidence, but Dick leaves that to Bruce as he turns to stare at this little twelve-year-old that somehow managed to figure them all out just by doing a little rooftop watching and newspaper stalking. Dick is scared, but he’s also a little in platonic love with this tiny thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A replacement, that’s what Tim had come to the manor to sell himself as. A temporary one, but this didn’t feel temporary. He didn’t want it to be temporary. He also didn’t want to be a replacement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why not? That’s what he is. Bruce went out and replaced me.”

Dick crossed his arms. “Like how Bruce went out and replaced me with you?”

“Th-that’s different!”

“You’re right. Because you practically begged to replace me.”

“I didn’t -”

“While Tim just wanted to help you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick doesn’t say it then, but Tim had never doubted Jason would be fine. Even when Bruce, Dick, or Barbara let their doubts get to them, Tim had complete faith in “his Robin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate points out Bruce is just as much a party animal as he’s ever been, he just has three little (Dick and Jason both object to this descriptor) reasons not to get black out drunk or bring home every pretty woman that catches his eyes.

Jason comments that he’s more of a cat person anyways.

Tim chokes on his food and Dick elbows his middle brother in the side while fighting off laughter. Jacob is confused and Kate gives them a curious look, recognizing that she’s missing an inside joke. Bruce rubs the bridge of his nose and no, he is not blushing.

Batman doesn’t blush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don’t snoop, don’t snoop, don’t snoop.

Oh, who was Tim kidding? He didn’t become a Robin because he was capable of not snooping.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephanie’s pretty sure that’s how you get demon disease or whatever and she would very much like to stay a normal human person thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Robins are being teased by Jason for flirting while on patrol when Bruce orders them to watch over Gotham General Hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian straightens up and announces he is his father’s son.

Drake turns to the woman in the doorway. “Did he tell you he was getting another? I was sure we’d at least have a few years after Duke.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, thoroughly resigned to the fact he’ll never have a normal child, calls Alfred to come pick the boy up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason throws an arm around Dick’s shoulders. “Give it up, Dickie. This is just how we do family bonding.”

“I’m not getting stabbed for your entertainment,” Tim deadpans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grayson waits until he stops struggling then says, “Whatever blood you might have, you’re still the outsider right now, kid. We might not all be blood, but we are all family. And our family sticks together no matter what. You want to impress Bruce, then the first step is getting that through your head.”

“So I need to learn my place?” Damian growls. His place has always been at the top and it always would be. No strays were going to change that! He turns his head to glare up at the man, ready to tell him so.

Grayson doesn’t look smug like he assumed, though. He looks sad.

“No, kid. You need to learn that we’re not your enemies. We’re your allies. I know that’s probably hard to grasp with the way you were raised, but it’s true. We want to help you, to be there for you. You need to let us.”

[elysiumwaits]

fic: broke a finger knockin’ on your bedroom door

I’mma be honest, sometimes you get drunk off screwdrivers, start a PWP you think is gonna be 4k words at the most, and accidentally hyperfixate until a few days later it’s finally done at like midnight with 13,000 words. Maybe now I can focus on literally anything else.

Anyway. Here’s a Harringrove PWP about Steve wearing panties and accidentally sending the picture to Billy, I’m going to bed. 

Tags/Warnings: Nudes, Texting, Steve Harrington is a Disaster, Steve Harrington in Panties, Panties, Undernegotiated Kink, Steve Harrington Has a Big Dick, Porn Without Plot, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dom/sub, Dirty Talk, because is it really a harringrove fic if Billy's not running his mouth, Enthusiastic Consent, Manhandling, Barebacking, Begging, there's self-indulgent and then there's this, Possessive Behavior, Overstimulation, Crying, starts kinky and then gets tender which is on brand for me, Multiple Orgasms, fuck it, Come Play, this is gonna be the fic that they show me as evidence when I die and go to hell, Tattooed Billy Hargrove

Summary: Steve tries to send a risque picture to Robin to fulfill a bet, and accidentally sends it to Billy instead. There are consequences. Sexy, sexy consequences.

Excerpt: 

Except his phone makes a ding, meaning he's got a text back. Right at the same time, Robin says through the door, "I didn't get it! Ugh, your apartment has the worst internet connection. Steve picks up his phone again to check who texted him. It's weird, because it's a reply to the picture, and Robin said she didn't get it, and why would she - 

Oh. 

"Oh no," Steve breathes in abject horror. He doesn't look up from his phone as he smacks at the doorknob, finally managing to get his fingers working enough he can get it unlocked, and then he throws the door open to Robin's surprised and dismayed shriek. "Robin, I fucked up."

Robin looks down just long enough to clap her hand over her eyes with a grimace. "Steve-"

"I sent it to someone else!" Steve thrusts the phone at her, bats her hand with it until she uncovers her eyes and snatches it from him, pointedly looking up and very much away from Steve. 

At least, until she sees who he sent it to. "Oh my god, you sent it to Hargrove?" It dings with another received text. 

"Billy starts with B! I don't know many people who have names that start with B!" Steve snatches the phone back and stares at the text like he can will it away, even though he really can't make out words well enough to read right now. "He's right above you in the contacts, okay, because I still have you in as 'Buckley' from that time I-"

"When you were mad at me about the Icee, I know, whatever." Robin waves her hand at him impatiently, apparently completely unconcerned with Steve's state of undress now that there's something more interesting happening. Even though she's very much still not looking down. "What did he say?"

"Uh," Steve scrolls down and actually reads what Billy sent, just as another text comes through. "'Holy shit' is the first one, and then... 'Are you at your apartment?' and... oh my god, he says he's on his way. Why is he on his way?!"

read on ao3

[screensirenfic]

Black Leather - Chapter 16

No one even bothered cleaning up the glass; all three of us too tired and jagged from words better left unsaid.

Not even a word had been spoken since; Eleven refusing to leave her room, and me ducking into my own soon after the ordeal.

Not that it mattered.

Dad didn’t even try to talk to us; still wound up too tightly to say anything but cutting remarks.

I’m pretty sure he’d fallen asleep on the couch, refusing to leave his post out of pure spite; and what do you know? When I peered our from my room, he was still there.

I edged out of my room, having already memorised every creaky floorboard and loose nail in true teenage renegade fashion.

Step by step, I made it across the living room, tiptoeing through a gauntlet of shattered glass and upturned furniture just waiting to trip me up.

I lost my footing; my heel falling down on a particularly large shard of glass; the sharp crunch cutting through the air like a gunshot.

Dad snorts, and my heart stops in my chest.

I dared a glance up at him, dreading the conversation we’d have if he woke.

To my relief he remained dead to the world; half drunk bottle of beer still gripped in his hand. He lets out aloud snore, lazily lifting his wrist to run at his nose, before falling limp once more.

I let out a sigh of relief, thanking whatever God was up there was too preoccupied to humiliate me.

I then lifted my foot, holding back a hiss as the motion finally stirred my pain reflex; the glass feeling as painful as the metaphors might suggest.

Balancing rather deftly on one leg, I raised my foot up, allowing me to get a better look at the cut.

It had bled a lot, but it wasn’t deep; the bloody shard that caused it still wedged in my skin.

I pulled it out, wincing when the jagged edges caught on exit, but still; it would be fine.

I’d had splinters worse; I swear.

After that I was more careful, rising up on my tiptoes so only the barest amount of my foot touched the floor as I made my way across to Eleven’s room.

I reached it without further injury, lightly rapping my knuckles on the door.

“El, it’s me; Lola. Can I come in?” I asked in a hoarse whisper, leaning in close to the wood lest dad might hear me.

Silence.

“I know it’s late, but I thought you could use some company...” I continued; not entirely sure that the kid wasn’t fast asleep and I was talking to thin air.

Still nothing.

I tried one last desperate attempt, hoping that somehow she’d be listening.

“I bought Eggos.” I said, and it wasn’t entirely a lie. I’d fished them out of the trash when dad wasn’t looking, guessing I might need some bargaining chips later, and hid them underneath my mattress where dad wouldn’t find them.

The door clicked as it unlocked, swinging open ever so slightly.

It seemed my ploy payed off.

I snuck into the room, making sure to make as little sound as possible as I shut the door behind me.

El was sat on the floor, knees tucked up to her chest in a position that was universally recognisable as upright foetal; a clear sign she wasn’t quite over what dad had said yet.

Tear stains streaked her cheeks; her eyes still red and puffy from crying, and dried blood crusted beneath her nose from where she’d attempted to wipe it away with her sleeve.

Overall; she looked a sorry state, and my heart cried out in sympathy for her. It wasn’t easy going head on with Jim Hopper’s fury, especially not at thirteen years old with no experience.

“Hey El...” I smiled, slowly approaching her much like you’d approach a startled horse; all soft words and gentle movements.

“Can I sit down?” I asked, slowly lowering myself to her level.

She nodded, and I sunk down beside her, sitting with my back to the wall so she didn’t feel pressured to look me in the eye.

“Y’know; all that destroying things with your mind stuff, that’s pretty badass...” I remarked, grasping for something to break the silence.

“I could think of a few situations I could use that...” I continued, giving her a sly look, because it was true. I could use that; especially if it meant scaring the shit out of a certain pretty boy who couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me.

But this was about Eleven; not me.

“Do you want an Eggo?” I offered, reaching into the oversized pockets of my shirt where I’d hidden my haul.

El nodded, managing a small smile that licked at the corners of her mouth.

I pulled out the Eggos, slightly regretful that they’d become so crushed in transit.

“They’re a little squished. Had to hide them from the fun patrol...” I joked, pulling the cellophane wrapper from one before handing it to her.

“But they’re still good.”

El took a bite from it, before smiling and nodding.

“Still good.” She agreed, taking another bite.

I watched her eat for a moment, savouring that small satisfied smile that stretched across her face every time she took a bite.

I knew I was gonna have to talk to her. At least try to foster some forgiveness between her and dad before sunrise. God knows the pair of them were too pigheaded to do so themselves, but still; the challenge seemed daunting in its own way.

“You know; all that shit dad said earlier, he didn’t mean it.” I began, fixing my gaze on the door opposite, because I wasn’t sure I could do this if she was looking straight at me.

“You’re not...”

“A brat?” She finished my sentence; no hint of accusation in her words, just pure curiosity.

“No; you’re not a brat.” I confirmed; my voice dropping low, because I really didn’t like to use that word for the kid; not after all she’d been through.

I reached out for her, grasping my hand around her own and interlacing our fingers, if not for her sake then for my own; because I wasn’t good with emotions and shit; I was gonna need some moral support for this one.

“It’s just... sometimes he gets real mad and doesn’t know what he’s saying and he does stuff that can really hurt...” I tried to explain; the confession coming harder than I thought it would.

“Hopper hurt you?” She asked; though her phrasing made it seem more like a statement than a question.

“What?” I replied; confused on what made her think that.

She reached across with her spare hand, fingers gently tracing my wrist where deep purple bruises decorated my skin in the shape of fingerprints.

“Hopper hurt you?” She repeated herself; her intention clearer now than before. My stomach sunk again at the realisation.

She thought dad hit me; the genuine concern on her face laced with resentment a more cutting tool than any weapon. She honestly believed that my dad would hurt me; physically and not just with words. It made my heart break in my chest.

“No, sweetie; no.” I corrected with a sad smile, pulling gently on her head till it rested on my shoulder in some strange hybrid of a half hug.

“Dad would never hurt me; or you, for that matter. Not ever”

I felt her body relax after that, tension bleeding out of her as if her only fear was what I might’ve went through. That I might’ve suffered just a smidgeon of what she had; bless her heart.

I didn’t deserve El; her honesty and genuine enthusiasm. Being around her was like seeing the world through fresh eyes, and being as jaded as I was; that was an experience I could never underestimate.

El was an incredible little kid, and dad should buck up and see that before it’s too late.

—————————————————

The next morning I’d woken up to the sound of hammering just outside my bedroom; the dull thump of metal on wood ridiculously loud in the wood’s serene silence. Seems like dad had started cleaning up the mess.

Good for him; I heard cleaning builds character.

I forced myself out of bed and began to get dressed, eager to get to school, because as much as I hated having to listen to rumours there; at least I could drop kick someone if they really pissed me off.

Here, I’d have no hope; tensions already high enough without the threat of physical violence rearing it’s head.

I was still pissed at dad; more for Eleven’s sake than my own.

Yes; she’d acted recklessly and put herself in danger, and that was childish, but guess what? She was a child, and I’d forgive her a multitude of sins for that very reason, and the fact that beneath it all, she was a pretty good kid; if not a little messed up.

But so was I; I guess that’s why we related so well.

Dad, on the other hand, had been completely out of line.

He’d berated and belittled her at every opportunity, before downright threatening her with what was virtually abandonment; and I couldn’t condone that, not after the bullshit she’d already been through at the hands of so called responsible adults.

He knew what he’d said had been wrong, but I wasn’t gonna be the one to spell it out for him; he was old enough to do that for himself.

So when I left my room, I didn’t say a word to him, making a beeline straight for my keys on the kitchen counter.

“Well; lookie who it is, if it isn’t the caped crusader emerging from her cave...” Dad drawled; no trace of affection in the dry nickname.

“Had fun gossiping with Robin; Batman?” He asked sardonically, but I wasn’t about to sink to his level.

Instead, I just shoved on my leather jacket, ignoring how he stared at me expectingly, as if that question deserved an answer.

“The silent treatment; huh?” He continued, following me as I stalked across the room to find my backpack.

“Well good for you for setting a great example for the kid. I bet that attitude goes down real fucking peachy with the kids at school...” He continued to gripe, but that was it.

That was the last straw, and I wasn’t about to shut up and take it whilst he dragged me through the mud like a fucking martyr.

I marched up to him; eyes burning with a subtle fury as I stared him down, not a hint of submission in my posture.

“You know what; I did talk to the kid last night, and yes; it was about you, but only because I was trying to convince her that you weren’t a total dick.” I spat; not even flinching at the sprinkling of expletives finding their way into my speech.

“But apparently I’d been wrong and stupid, and I know; ‘we are not stupid.” I finished, throwing his words into his face, before storming out of the cabin.

“Lola; wait...” He called out; regret already colouring his voice, but you know what; fuck him.

He was the one so set on the fact that actions had consequences, so now he could fucking drown in them for all I cared.

[runawaymarbles]

The Nice and Accurate Good Omens Timeline

Years marked with a "~" are approximate, and are based off the premise that in the book, the Apocalypse happens in 1990, and in the show, the Apocalypse happens in 2019. They could go a year or two in either direction.

"n.c." means "non-contradictory"-- they are things that are only mentioned in one canon but could be inferred to be canon to the other as well (for example, in the book we just know Agnes died sometime after 1655. The show puts the date at 1658.)

Things not marked as either TV show or Book are canonical to both.

(read on ao3) 

***

Sunday, October 21 st , 4004 BC, 9 a.m: The earth is created.

Rather more than seven days later: Eve eats the apple, and she and Adam leave Eden. Aziraphale gives them the flaming sword. (Book) Crawly is thinking about changing his name. 

3004 BC: (TV show) Crawly and Aziraphale see each other for the first time since the garden at Noah’s ark.  

Sometime before 2067 BC: (Book) Crowley gets date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass in Gomorrah

Sometime before 33 AD: (TV show) Crawly changes his name to Crowley from Crawly. (It’s not specified when this happened in the book, but since he’s considering it in the Garden of Eden, probably much earlier.) 

33 AD: (TV show) Crowley and Aziraphale witness Jesus’s crucifixion. 

41 AD: (TV show) Crowley and Aziraphale meet in Rome, Crowley to tempt Caligula and Aziraphale to inspire Nero towards music. They presumably eat oysters

~95 AD: Aziraphale meets John of Patmos and gets an original scroll of Revelation

537 AD:  (TV show) Aziraphale is a knight in King Arthur’s court. Crowley spreads ferment as the Black Knight, and comes up with the basic premise of the Arrangement.

1020: (book) the Arrangement is formed. Aziraphale tells Crowley that the point of humanity is that they can choose whether to be good or bad.

1023: (book) Crowley argues that that only works if you start them off equally

1300: Crowley is really bored for the next 100 years

Early 1500s: Crowley meets Leonardo da Vinci, buys an early sketch of the Mona Lisa, and inspires the helicopter

1600: (TV, n.c.) Agnes Nutter is born

1600s: (Book, n.c.) Witchfinder General Hopkins is charging nine pence for every witch he discovered

1601: (TV) Crowley and Aziraphale meet at the Globe. Aziraphale goes to Scotland to do a blessing and also tempt a clan leader to steal some cattle.

1651: (Book) Bilton and Scaggs publishes the Buggre Alle This Bible. Aziraphale, who owns a boookstore two doors down, and adds three chapters to Genesis.

1653: (Book) Bilton pays six guineas for a quarto of The Comedie of Robin Hood by Shakespeare, and then loses it.

1654: Archbishop James Usher publishes Annales Veteris et Novi Testaments, suggesting the world was created in 4004 BC.

1655: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies is published.

1656: (TV, n.c.) Agnes Nutter dies, and sends the Further Prophecies to a small legal firm.

1757: (Book) Mr. George Cranby opens the box containing the Further Prophecies to find a letter to him from Agnes telling him she knows that he swindled the Widow Plashkin

1793: (TV show) Crowley rescues Aziraphale from being beheaded. (Both book and TV show) Aziraphale buys Crowley lunch.

Sometime around 1800: (Book) Crowley starts taking a nap

1832: (Book) Crowley wakes up from his nap to go to the bathroom and then goes back to sleep for the rest of the cenutry

1862: (TV show) Crowley asks Aziraphale for Holy Water

1870s: (Book, n.c.) Aziraphale attends a magic class run by John Maskelyne

Late 1800s: (Book) Cecil Rhodes meets Witchfinder Company Seargent Marjor Narker

Late 1880s: Aziraphale learns the Gavotte at a discrete gentlemen’s club in Portland Place

June 7th, 1916: (Book, n.c.) Mr. Bychance does something that Agnes later threatens to reveal

1926: Crowley buys the Bentley

1928: (Book, n.c.) Mr. Bychance opens the box with the Further Prophecies, found a letter to himself saying she knows what he did on June 7th, 1916. He then declares that anyone who opens the box will be sacked without references.

October 22, 1929: (Book) Anathema’s great-grandfather realizes the stock market crash is coming and makes a lot of money

1933: (Book) the last Witchfinder Lieutenant dies falling out of a very tall tree in Carterham

1936: Pestilence retires, and Pollution takes over

1941: (TV show) Crowley rescues Aziraphale from Nazis during the London Blitz

1948: (Book) Anathema’s grandfather invests in the transistor

1952: (Book) A fight breaks out in the city square of Kumbolaland, Africa, between a drunk ox driver and a drunk ox thief. It’s the biggest fight there until War arrives.

1967: Crowley buys petrol for the first and only time in order to get the James Bond bullethole stickers

1967 : (TV) Crowley meets Shadwell. Aziraphale gives him the Holy Water.

~1967: (Book) Newt Pulsifer is born.

~1970: (Book, Neil Gaiman's tumblr) Sarah Young is born. (Book) Anathema Device is born.

Early 1970s: Crowley hears about talking to plants on BBC Radio Four. Planning and construction is begun on the M25.

1972: Do not buy Betamacks!!!!!

Sometime before 1974: (Book) Madame Tracy buys her scooter

Sometime between 1977 and ~1990: Elvis fakes his death and becomes a cook at Burger Lord in Des Moines

~1979: (Book) Adam, Warlock and Greasy Johnson are born. 12-year-old Newton Pulsifer tries to fix a radio, and fails. 9-year-old Anathema Device hides under her blankets, reading Agnes’s book by flashlight.

~ 1979: (Book) War, using the name Scarlett, is working as an arms dealer. She starts a war in Kumbolaland. Famine, under the name Sable, starts the Newtrition corporation. Pollution, under the name Seaman White, causes an oil spill and then goes to Indonesia with toxic weed killer.

1980: (TV show) Anathema’s grandfather makes millions of dollars investing in Apple stock

~1979/90: (Book) Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis begin working for the Dowlings

1983: (Book) The National World Weekly does an interview with the General Secretary of the UN, and asked about Elvis. Seargent Thomas A. Disenberger falls in the shower in Vietnam.

~1983: (Book) the Them meet. Pepper bites Adam’s shoe.

~1985: (Book) Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis quit, and are replaced by tutors Mr. Harrison and Mr. Cortese

1986: the M25 is completed

Sometime between 1979 and 1990:  (Book) Sister Mary Loquacious/Mary Hodges learns computer skills and opens up the Tadfield Manor Conference and Management Training Center, and War becomes war correspondent Carmine Zuigiber with the National World Weekly

Early summer ~1990: (Book) Newt joins the Witchfinder army

August, ~1990: (Book) Warlock and Adam’s 11th birthdays

Early-mid 1990s: (TV show) Anathema Device and Newton Pulsifer are born

August 20-21, ~1990: United Holdings Combat Training Course

~2008: (TV show) Adam, Warlock and Baby B are born. Newt fails to fix a computer, and Anathema (who is older than 9) colors on the first page of the Book

~2013: (TV show) Crowley and Aziraphale begin working for the Dowlings, disguised as Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis

Sometime between 2008 and 2019:  (TV show) Sister Mary Loquacious opens the Tadfield Manor Conference and Management Training Center, and War becomes war correspondent Carmine Zuigiber with the National World Weekly  .

Summer ~2019: (Book) Warlock and Adam’s 11th  birthdays

[j--halstead]

This has been a long time coming (no seriously like over a month at this point. my b) @ohmyolicity sent me this request literally weeks ago and I’ve been swamped with job interviews and exams and practicals and everything under the sun that I finally finished it before I start by end of senior year bender (:  this is also 5K words and it got out of hand because I forgot there were going to be 5 of the little one shots 

PROMPT: Four times Magnum was on a date with Abby but had to leave because of Higgins and the One time Abby leaves 

one

Business for Magnum had actually been booming lately, which he wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad one but he wasn't complaining. Neither was Higgins, considering he paid her his bills and got the Ferrari detailed at that place she said Robin prefers. Tonight he had brought Abby to a new restaurant right on the water that she had mentioned a couple weeks ago, back when his wallet was pretty thin.

"Thomas, I still don't know how you got these reservations. I've tried and they're booked for weeks."

 "Oh you know how it works on this island. You know a guy who knows a guy." Actually, the owner was an old client. He hired Magnum to prove his wife was cheating, and well, Magnum nearly got his head blown off with a shotgun when he got caught.

 Magnum picked at the plate of calamari between them, watching Abby take in the atmosphere. This was their fourth date and it's been going great in his opinion. Being a lawyer, she's busy just as much as he is so, unlike other women he's met, she understands the crazy hours.

 After he apologized for pretending to be Dr. Tomas Caballo, Magnum and Abby realized they actually have a lot in common. Obviously he knew, from her little speech ending their fake first date. But once he told her who the real Thomas Magnum was, she was quick to give him a second chance at a first date.

 "Did you wrap up your case? The one with the twins?"

 Magnum sipped his wine. "Yeah, it was a happy ending for once. Always like when that happens." He reached over and held her hand. "What about your case?"

 "My case actually settled out of court, so I guess also a happy ending." She popped a piece of calamari into her mouth, eyes dancing over Magnum's face. It may be a small island, but there are over 350,000 people here. And Abby was happy that she managed to run into him. The restaurant around them buzzed, but it seemed like they were in their own little world. "Since we've both had some crazy weeks I thought it would be nice if we spent some time together and I took the a couple days off."

 They both paused when the server brought their meals out. Magnum thought over what she was saying. Spending a couple days together might be a slightly bigger step, but it might be what they needed. "Yeah, yeah that sounds amazing." Just as the words came out of his mouth, Magnum's phone started barking.

 Abby laughed at the ringtone. "Seriously? Dogs barking?"

"It's Higgins, I thought it was appropriate because of the lads." He stood up and pushed his chair in. "I'm sorry I'll only be a minute" he said as he bent down to kiss her cheek.

Walking outside, Magnum answered the call after getting some looks about the barking. "Higgins, what's up?"

 "Sorry to interrupt your date but your clients are here. And they don't seem happy. They mentioned something about you needing to look into another photo they received. I guess your case was not closed."

 Magnum ran a hand down his face and sighed. "Did you tell them I'm not around?"

 "I did. They're demanding to see you." Juliet hesitated before she spoke again. "Thomas, I can handle this for you if you'd like, but they do seem adamant on speaking with you tonight."

 "Thanks Higgy, but I should wrap it up." He looked into the restaurant at Abby. He felt awful, but he had to finish the job. "Just- can you let them in the guest house to wait til I get back?"

 Magnum heard Juliet apologize again before he hung-up and walked back to the table. His hand brushed against Abby's shoulder before he sat down. She looked up at him smiling, but the smile slowly dropped when she noticed he didn't move to pick up his napkin or fork or knife.

 "You have you go, don't you. That's why Higgins called?"

 His eyes dropped to the table as he spoke. "I am so sorry, Abby. I know how much you were looking forward to this." He scratched his beard as he continued. "And it looks like my case isn't over, so our couple days together might have to wait."

 Abby reached out for his hand. "Thomas, I understand how this goes. Go, do your thing, help people." Magnum pressed his lips in a thin line. Finally, he nodded and stood up, pulling Abby up by the hand. He kissed her cheek before slipping out, leaving enough cash with the server to cover the bill.

two

It was rare that Magnum's cases went to court. Even rarer that Magnum himself had to go to court for it. But ever since he started seeing Abby, he didn't mind being in court. She was typically in the courthouse. And when she wasn't, her office was close enough that if Thomas had court, they could meet up.

 A father had hired Magnum to find the drunk driver that killed his son and fled the scene. But once Thomas let the name slip, the father found him and beat him beyond recognition and got himself arrested for aggravated assault. And that is how Thomas found himself standing outside the court house. His phone was buzzing with notifications from TC and Rick, but he ignored them all and waited for Abby to answer.

 Walking towards her office, Magnum pulled his phone out and silenced all the texts, calling Abby instead. It rang out to voicemail so he figured she was in a meeting or on another call. "Hey, uh, it's me. Thomas. I just got out of court if you still wanted to meet up for lunch. I'm going to walk to your office just incase you don't see this."

 While he waited for the crosswalk sign, he checked his texts and saw the guys asking about his case. He had one from Kumu, reminding him that she's on the mainland for the week at a family event, and to check in with Higgins every now and then.

 Higgins told him the other day that she had business to deal with. Something about the estate and meeting with people. Honestly, he stopped paying attention after a few minutes and couldn't remember. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time that he had actually spoken to Higgins. She hadn't been around the estate in the morning when he was walking back from his row on the beach, and Thomas can't remember seeing her last night either.

 Whether she was just in the main house, or completely of the estate, Thomas felt like he should at least try to call her. If not for anything else other than he hates when Kumu gets mad.

 As Thomas pulled his phone back out of his pocket, Katsumoto's contact popped up. The two weren't involved in a case recently so Thomas stepped to the edge of the sidewalk and stopped to take the call.

 "Detective Katsumoto, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

 "Magnum. When was the last time you heard from Miss. Higgins?"

 With that, Thomas' stomach dropped. "Yesterday morning I think. But I was just about to call her so if you let me call you back, I'll find out where she is." He heard the detective sigh. "Okay that's not a good sound so why don't you tell me what's going on? Preferably before Kumu or Robin comes after me for not looking out for her?"

 "Uniforms found the Range Rover, crashed into a telephone pole. Her weapon was still under the seat, phone and wallet both still inside. CSU found a good amount of blood inside the car."

 "Higgins is O+ if you're trying to match it." At the sound of his name being called, Thomas' head snapped up. Abby was walking right towards him. He managed a tight smile before giving his attention back to the phone call. "I'm coming down to the station. I know her better than anyone else on this island and you know if you don't let me help then I'm just going to go off on my own."

 A groan came through the phone. "Fine. But only because I don't need you going all cowboy trying to find her."

 Abby stepped closer when she noticed Thomas put the phone away. Taking in the regretful look on his face, Abby could already make a guess. "You have to go."

 "Higgins is missing. I've gotta find her, Abby." He watched Abby sigh reluctantly, but nonetheless, she was okay with it. She kissed his cheek and gave him a light shove before watching him jog towards the Ferrari.

Sixteen grueling hours later, Thomas and Katsumoto found Higgins, hands and feet secured to the legs and arms of a chair. An old colleague of Ian's tracked her down and brought her to an abandoned  warehouse. Thomas was the first through the door. Two shots brought down the man responsible and, without pausing for a moment,  he was on his knees by her side in seconds.

 "Magnum, EMS is only a couple minutes out." From his experience, Thomas knows her injuries were solely to cause pain. Broken ribs and fingers, her face severely bruised, and a deep cut to the side of her head that would explain how she was grabbed and the blood in the car.

 "Thomas?" The warmth from his hands resting on her cheeks brought her back to consciousness.

 "You're alright, I got you." He watched her try to stand which caused her to collapse in pain. "Yeah, no. Don't do that." Thomas kept his hands resting on Higgins. One laid on top of her knee, his thumb dragging soft circles against the fabric of her jeans. The other slid into her hair. He was trying to get a better look at the gash and see if it was still bleeding. Once Katsumoto cut off the zip ties, Juliet's hand moved to cover Thomas'. She caught his attention and Juliet breathed a sigh of relief seeing his eyes. Her head leaned into his hand more, finally letting her guard down and relax knowing she was safe with Thomas.

three

Thomas had been staying at Abby's place a couple nights a week and that's how he knew this was getting serious. The first few nights he didn't truly plan on it. They had gone out and she invited him inside after and he did the walk of shame in the same clothes the next morning. Recently, he started keeping a go bag in the Ferrari just in case. Tonight though, tonight Abby had other plans.

 He had just finished brushing his teeth and went to put it back in the travel case when Abby walked into the bathroom. "What are you doing?"

 "Uh-" Thomas hesitated, not knowing what he was doing wrong. "I was just brushing my teeth?"

 She walked up to him and grabbed the hand that was holding said toothbrush. "You do this every time you stay over. Why not just leave it here?" Oh, hm, ya that's what was wrong.

 Thomas really liked Abby, seriously he did. But he really didn't do the whole serious, live-in relationship thing. Not since Hannah. The only woman he's sort of lived with is Juliet. But even then, they each have their own house. Even if they do wander into each other's almost everyday, and eat most meals together, and work together.

 "Just, like to keep my bag complete. You know, in case I need to stay over somewhere else." He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and tossed the brush in the bag, zipping it up, and tossing it in the corner of the room. He noticed Abby walk in the bedroom behind him. "You have court early right? We should probably catch some sleep."

 In the nights that Thomas has been there, they created somewhat a routine. He climbed in 'his' side of the bed, waited for her to climb in, and shut the lights off. Thomas leaned over and kissed her forehead gently. "How about I cook breakfast in the morning? Higgins always says a good breakfast can change your entire day." His lips trailed kisses down the side of her face with a smile.

 "Yeah, I think that sounds good." She inhaled deeply, trying not to get annoyed, and turned to kiss him back.

 Lately, it seemed like every time they were together, every conversation Thomas mentioned Juliet Higgins. In a way, Abby gets it. They live at the estate together and she helps him on his cases sometimes. And Juliet's nice, but she can't help but get annoyed. No matter how many times Thomas denies there was ever anything between the two of them, Abby is convinced there is something. But she pushes it to the back of her mind because he's here with her, and he seems happy to be. She leaned towards the warmth coming from his bare chest and let his arms pull her closer and within minutes she was asleep.

 The mellow sound of a Hawaiian song filled the room. With how dark it still was, Thomas knew that it can't be an alarm. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and waking himself up to be a little more aware, Thomas realized that the song is his ringtone for Kumu. But picking up the phone showed that it's almost three in the morning. His mother always told him nothing good happens after two am.

 "Kumu?" Thomas' voice was barely a whisper in hopes that Abby didn't wake up.

 "Thomas, I'm so sorry to call so late."

 "No it’s okay. I know you would only call if it were important." Thomas heard shuffling and mumbles in the background. Then he heard a loud speaker and some beeping. "Kumu are you in a hospital?"

 Within seconds, all the worst scenarios began running through his head. Someone was badly hurt, or dead. Someone close enough that Kumu was calling him and not HPD. Higgins, most likely, but maybe Rick or TC. But that would only happen if they were both in there and that would be the-

 "Did you hear me Thomas?" He hadn't. He had been so wrapped up in his head that he didn't realize Kumu was speaking, or that his breathing was getting very rattled, or that Abby had woken up and turn on a lamp. "I said it's Juliet. They think she'll be okay but she's still in surgery."

 "Wait, what? Surgery?" Thomas could feel Abby's eyes burning into him. "I'll be there in ten." Hanging up without letting Kumu get another word in, he got out of bed and grabbed his clothes out of his go bag. "That was Kumu, she's at the hospital with Higgins." He pulled a pair of jeans on and slid a gray tee over his head as he walked over to where she now sat up in bed. "I'm sorry I woke you. You should get some sleep." Thomas took her face in his hands and kissed the top of her head. And with that, he was out the door.

 Kumu sat at Juliet's bedside when Thomas came bursting in. She watched as his eyes immediately landed on the woman in the bed and then watched him inhale so deeply it was as if he was reminding his body to breathe.

 "They were just coming out to tell me they were done when you hung up on me." His eyes snapped to the older woman. She motioned to the chair on the other side of the bed for him to sit. "Appendicitis. She called me and said she was in excruciating pain and couldn't walk or drive herself. The doctors said she's lucky she made it here just before it burst."

 Thomas reached out and picked up Juliet's hand in his own. She was colder than anyone should be in Hawaii, and paler than usual. Kumu walked behind Thomas and stopped for a moment to put a hand on his shoulder. She knew that he was at Abby's tonight, or else he would have been the one to drive Juliet in. And the fact the he left her in bed to come here says a lot. She just doesn't think either of the young couple knows what they mean to each other.

 He didn’t know how long he sat there, people were moving in and out of the room without bothering him. Kumu came back with a coffee and took her seat on the other side of the bed. She was engrossed in a magazine when she noticed Thomas sit up slightly. She watched his hand move to caress the side of Juliet’s face and within seconds the other woman’s eyes started to flutter open. Kumu said something about getting the doctor, giving them a moment.

  “Hey, you’re alright. It’s just me.” He watched her eyes scrunch shut before they opened again, fully and focusing on him. He felt her lean into his hand as she started to wake up. ”You know,” Thomas’ voice was soft as he spoke. “I really hate getting calls that someone’s in the hospital. Let alone someone I- I’m friends with.” Juliet caught his slip but was too tired to do anything other than push it to the back of her mind. She just smiled as much as she could at him. And if neither of them let go of their joined hands resting on the bed when Kumu returned, well then no one mentioned it after that.

four

"Thomas!" He had pulled Abby under a wave, sputtering a laugh when they both surfaced.

 "Come on! The water's perfect and you wouldn't even go past your knees." He floated back, hands brushing against rocks in the sand. "Don't tell me you can't swim."

 Abby rolled her eyes. "Thomas, why would I move to an island in the middle of the ocean if I couldn't swim?"

 A grin spread across Thomas' face. "To find a charming, handsome man who just happens to be an ex-Navy SEAL to teach you to swim."

 The two had been rescheduling for weeks. Between his cases, her cases, and just crazy things not lining up, they needed a day to themselves. One of the perks of living at Robin's Nest is the stretch of private beach on the property. Kumu was swamped with tour's all day and Higgins was dealing with some things for the property, so he was sure they would be the only ones around.

 "I came here for a fresh start" Abby's words were whispered. She waded through the water until she was waist deep. "And I just happened to find a very charming, very handsome man. And this man just happens to live on one of the largest estates on the island.

 Thomas made his way over and stood, wrapping his arms around her. "A fresh start? Picked hell of a place for it." He peppered kisses down her cheek before stopping on her lips. Abby's hand threaded through his short hair, deepening the kiss.

 Thomas' phone could be heard barking from back on the beach. "Just let it ring out" she whispered against his lips. She nipped at his jaw, moving down his neck and feeling his fingers dig into her waist. The barking continued for a few moments until it finally silenced. He wrapped both arms around Abby's waist and whispered in her ear, "Hold your breath." In the next moment, he fell backwards and pulled her with him underwater where he pressed his lips against hers.

 Pushing against his chest gently, Abby stood up for some air. Her head tossed back with a laugh when Thomas stood and seaweed was in his hair. Another voice cut through the air and caught their attention. Higgins was standing where the sand met the grass of the yard yelling for Thomas.

 "Higgy!" Both Abby and Thomas began shuffling towards the sand. Abby had never seen the other woman anything but calm and right now she definitely was not. Thomas was visibly worried as he began to jog through the water. Abby slowed, watching as he ran through the shallows and up the sand. "What's wrong? What happened?" He watched Higgins' eyes scan over him as if checking for injuries, her hands were shaking.

 Abby continued until she was close enough to hear, but not too close to feel as if she were invading their space. After the first few times being at the estate, or just around Thomas and Higgins, Abby had realized that the two had a special bond. Going through horrible things can bring people together.

 "You didn't answer your phone. I've been calling and you weren't answering and I thought-" Juliet trailed off. She ran her hands through her blonde hair trying to calm herself. Her chest was heaving with each quick breath and her eyes were shut tight.

 "Higgins." Thomas reached out and placed a hand on her arm. "Hey, Juliet. Slow down. What happened?" He can honestly say that she had never been this shaken up about anything in the time he's known her, except for once. And he hoped it wasn't related.

 When her eyes opened he saw tears threatening to fall. "I thought something happened to you." She saw a protest building on his lips, or more likely more questions. "An old friend at MI6 just called. Ian escaped and they believe he's coming back here. So when I called and you didn't answer I thought about Richard and I thought the worst had happened."

 Juliet's words were piling up in Thomas' mind and she wasn't even aware. He knew that the only thing that could get her to react like this was Ian. Without even thinking he pulled her into a hug. His hand rubbed her back while the other rested against the back of her neck, trying to calm her down. He could feel her hot breath against his bare chest. Thomas honestly forgot that Abby was feet away, back on the beach. All he was concerned about in that moment was keeping Juliet safe.

 "I'm right here, I'm fine Juliet, I'm okay." Thomas felt her nod against his neck. "We'll find him, and I'll double check all of the security cameras and sensors and the gate when I get back up there. But I promise you," his lips dropped to brush against the shell of her ear. "This time, I'll let you put the bullet in him."

 She took in a shaky breath and put both hands against his chest. Looking over his shoulder quickly, Juliet noticed that Thomas wasn't at the beach alone. "Right, well, let me know if you need anything regarding the security measures and I’ll let you get back to your date." She watched as his eyebrows pulled together. "Abby, she's down at the beach. Or did you already forget her name?" Juliet meant it teasingly, but neither were in the joking mood and Thomas wasn't budging.

 "I'll drive her home, I should get to work on the security system." Neither had moved in minutes. Thomas' hands were now loosely around her waist, keeping her closer than he probably should with his girlfriend standing feet away. Juliet had left her hands on his chest, fingers pressing into his chest.

  Juliet sighed "Thomas, he's not on the island, it's okay. Go back to her." Giving him a gentle push, Juliet tried (and failed) to smile. Thomas copied her sigh when both of his hands dropped. He watched her walk back towards the main house for a moment before going back to Abby.

plus one

Thomas had started cooking dinner almost an hour ago. Abby was coming over soon and he kept messing up the fish he bought. He wasn't usually a big fish person, but she had opened him up to trying new things and he wanted to do something nice for her.

 The past couple of days he could tell that something was off. Whether it was just him overthinking, or if there was something going on, he wasn't sure. But Thomas knew that having her over to the guest house would be just what they needed. The views, the breeze off the water, and the peace and quiet, as long as the dogs behaved themselves and stayed away from the guest house.

 His phone beeped with a text from Higgins letting him know she let Abby through the gate. That was another thing that was weird. Every since he and Abby started getting serious, Higgins was rarely around to berate him about anything. She still helped Thomas with his cases, but she was popping over less and less and she kept the dogs away from bothering him.

 Women were always a confusing area in Thomas' life.

 Hearing the car door shut, Thomas tossed a piece of fish on the grill and turned the oven to low to keep the vegetables warmed. He left the beers in the fridge for now, knowing that this wasn't a wine meal or night.

 "Hey, sorry I'm late. My meeting with a client ran late and then traffic and-" Thomas cut her rambling off, cupping her face and pressing his lips against hers gently. "I meant to call." Her words were whispered against his lips as she pulled away.

 "Don't worry about it." Thomas grabbed her bag and placed it on a chair in the living room. "I've got some of that fish you like on the grill, and asparagus in the oven." He started scuffling around between the kitchen and the grill out back.

 Abby's been to the estate before, and she's been in the guest house before so she's seen the few personal items that Thomas has placed around. A few pictures of him with Rick, TC, and Nuzo. One of him and his dad when he was little at a Tigers game. And one of him and his mom at his BUD/S graduation. But there was one she'd never seen before. It was of Thomas and Juliet Higgins. It looked like they were somewhere on the property, but it was how they looked in the picture that struck Abby. It was a candid photo, Juliet was laughing with her head tipped backwards while Thomas stared at her, a smile on his face, almost in awe.

 While she understood that Juliet was a part of Thomas' life, she didn't know how big. Abby turned to watch him, mumbling to himself while he checked out the fish. He brings Juliet up in conversation almost every night they've been together, and she's never been the jealous type but there was something about his tone and the look on his face. He's in love with Juliet Higgins and he doesn't even know it. And from what Abby has seen between the two's interactions, Juliet feels the same.

 "Abby?"

 "Sorry, what did you say?"

 Thomas laughed softly. "I said you might want to check the fish, I still don't think I'm cooking it right." He stood at the grill, but his eyes wandered out to the grass. Over his shoulder, she could make out Juliet walking after the dogs. His eyes never left her.

 Thomas is a good man, one of the best she's ever met. And Abby knows that he would never intentionally hurt her, but if she's being honest: Thomas was never hers to begin with.

 "Thomas." Abby slowly moved to where he stood at the grill and closed the lid on it, getting his attention back. "Just come sit," she saw a protest on his lips, probably about the fish. "It needs to cook and the smoke will help."

 She led him to the couch and sat to face him, holding his hand between her two in her lap. "I'm not staying for dinner tonight. Thomas, I've had this feeling, like a voice in the back of my head. It keeps telling me that this isn't right." His brow pulled together. "You are such an amazing man. You have the biggest heart, and you can't cook for your life but you tried anyway because you know I like fish, and you watch the Dodgers with me even when they play the same time as the Tigers."

 "I don't understand."

 "You do everything you can to make me happy. But you deserve someone who can make you just as  happy. And I don’t think that’s me." Looking down at their hands, Abby took a deep breath. "I think that this needs to end because your heart is already someone else's."

 As if on cue, the dogs started barking at each other and Juliet's voice drifted into the guest house.

 "I'm not upset, I truthfully saw it in the beginning and tried pushing it out of my head. But the way you look at each other, that's something special." Abby leaned over, squeezing his hand between hers while she kissed his cheek. "She loves you, Thomas. And I think you already know you love her. So just take the leap."

 And with that, Abby grabbed her bag and walked out the front door. This left Thomas with his thoughts, and so many questions. He'd always known Juliet was attractive, and they just click because they've both been through a lot. But they fight all the time. But then again, they've never truly been mad at each other. And maybe he did have feelings for her, but she couldn't have them for him. Could she? Thomas always thought that she didn't date because she closed herself off after Richard's death. But she'd been flirty with him, which never happened ever before. And he truthfully couldn't picture his life without her in it.

 So that was it. He had to act on it now before he got too scared. Abby's words hung heavily in his head, he had to take the leap. And if Thomas' didn't know, he would've thought he had been speaking out loud. Because the next thing he knew, there were footsteps out by the grill.

 "Magnum are you aware that your grill is smoking?" His eyes snapped up to her and taking one deep breath, he took the ten steps to outside. "Are you trying to burn the guest house down?"

 Thomas stopped inches away from her, and he knew she had to think he was crazy at this point. And if she didn't, well she might in a couple seconds. Slowly, he lifted one hand and threaded it in her hair, pulling her against him within seconds and closed the gap between them. He caught her bottom lip between his and held his breath. Waiting three seconds, Thomas pulled away.

 "Thomas." Within seconds, Juliet pulled Thomas by his shirt and sealed their lips again. His hands dropped to her waist, fingers flexing against her hips and eliminating any space that was between them. Juliet's hands gripped the ridiculous floral shirt he was wearing, leaving wrinkles in it when she finally let go. Seconds passed like hours and by the time they both caught their breath, neither knew what to say. Until Thomas did.

 "Juliet," his breath tickled her skin as he let the words she never expected to hear tumble out. "I'm in love with you."

[twistytwine]

Victor’s POV

A chapter that is the first chapter with Victor’s POV, which is from a super old and unfinished draft of Two Birds Cracked The Stone.

Warning: Has blood, violence, injury, alcohol, smoking, animal death, animal killing, language, and childhood trauma + abuse

(Disclaimer: I’ve changed a lot of things with Victor and Erik since then and I’m definitely changing his past and how it played out. His dad and mom still are kinda the same, but eh...? I’ll figure it out later)

(Also my writing’s pretty bad D:)

4

Victor

I’ve always had dreams. Dreams about my past. Dreams about the most terrible events that have happened in my life.

I was blinking angry tears out of my eyes and staring at the stale grass draped upon my backyard. There was that bird. That stupid bird. Its beak was inches away from pecking my bruised hands, the bruised hands of a poor, lonely child. My teeth were clenched so tightly that I felt like they would snap into a billion pieces.

“Victor!” I heard Dad bark. “Come on, just kill it already!”

“B-But—“ I hiccuped miserably, sniffling as my eyes became wet and damp. “But Mom a-and— and Erik said—“

“Who gives a shit about what Erik said?” Dad snapped. “And your mom’s words mean nothing! So just kill that damn bird!”

I struggled to hold onto the small creature, yet I was having even more trouble trying to let it go. The thoughts endlessly swarmed in my head like a flock of dizzy crows over a dry cornfield. The bird in my grip was fluttering helplessly, but I couldn’t release it. Its red belly was barely visible between my fingers. Another robin.

“If you don’t kill it, Victor,” Dad warned, “you won’t be stepping outside ever again.”

“B-But Erik—“

“Quiet! Kill it! It’s so noisy and it’s driving me crazy!”

Indeed it was noisy. The bird was squawking here, squawking there, practically killing my ears with screams and shrieks. My head was spinning. Why did I have to kill it? Why couldn’t Dad just let it fly away? Why couldn’t Dad just go upstairs and work? I was fine with it. Why couldn’t he be fine with it, too?

Erik wasn’t fine with it at all. I had only left him a month ago and I wasn’t ready to leave my dear friend alone. He was an angel to me. I could never let him go.

But as I heard Dad’s heavy footsteps trudge on behind me, fear took over my actions. Immediately, my hands snapped the bird’s neck with a sickening crunch! that made me cringe. Erik wouldn’t have liked that. He would have hated me for that.

Dad crouched down, resting a hand on my shoulder. It was rough. It squeezed me uncomfortably, wanting to control me. Dad had always treated me like some sort of object; I shouldn’t have been so surprised.

“Good,” he hummed, his voice growly in my ear, like a predator catching his prey. “Now bury it.”

His hand didn’t leave my shoulder, even when I stood up. I stared at the crumpled up, blood-stained carcass in my hands. Dad wanted me to throw it away. To clean it up. It was all my job, my duty, all I had. It was all I was good for.

Shaking, I took my hard hands and began to scrape away at the dirt, digging a nice comfortable hole for the corpse. What would Erik say. What would Erik do. What would Erik think. Then plop! The misshapen bird fell into its resting place, and I smeared it over with the dirt I had dug out.

“Go back inside and eat your breakfast,” Dad sneered. “And watch your hands this time, for God’s sake. You always forget.”

In that dream, I looked back at Dad’s face, and I saw that his eyes were cold and blank. Dark. Lifeless.

Dead.

My eyes fluttered open to the real world. Weak and heavy on my face, droopy and twitchy. Everything was blurry and distant. My heart felt like it was closing in on itself, all tight and locked up in its own little cage. I was surrounded by darkness. My head was foggy and incomprehensible. Where was I?

A coppery taste was flooding my tongue. I was used to it. But this time, it was so intense that I could barely breathe. It was like someone was squeezing my throat, piercing my skin with monstrous claws. This darkness was suffocating me.

I let out a groan as I tried to move, only to be hit by a wave of sores and pains. I blinked rapidly to try and rid of the muddy cover in my eyes. That was when the outside world began to kick in: distant chatter, honking of cars, rumbles of footsteps. I was in town. And as I saw the thick brick patterns across from me, I realized that I was in an alleyway.

I was slumped against a wall. Weakly, I turned my head to see the people passing by in the light. All of them were too busy to look closely in the darkness, to spot me. But I didn’t care; it didn’t seem like anybody gave a shit about me, anyway. I was always left behind. Unnoticed. Ignored. Left to fend for myself. It was a norm for me.

For the umpteenth time, I was alone.

I did my best to lift my heavy, shaking hand to my face. It was covered in new cuts and bruises. Memories of last night swarmed in my head. A bunch of guys. Bitter and drunk. One of them with a knife. Brittle anger began to build up in my chest as I thought harder of the fight that broke out, how I lost and was humiliated instead of them. I was beaten up by a bunch of idiots. Goddamnit.

For a few minutes, I just laid there, trying to ignore the dull aches in my body and the annoying voices of the people in the light. I hated how happy they sounded. How they passed by me without a second glance. They were glued to their phones or their friends, and they had smiles pasted to their faces. It pissed me off. They probably had a great morning.

Unlike me, who woke up to this.

Slowly, I bended my legs, hissing at the burns that were scorching my knees. My face felt numb and cold. My hands were practically burning with pain as I pushed myself against the wall, slipping a little but managing to stand up. A wave of dizziness crashed into me as I forced my eyes to open.

Something was in my mouth. I spat onto the ground. There landed two teeth and a splatter of blood. Motherfucker. How did I get hit like that, anyway? I swore that I was completely focused last night. Even if I was up against a couple of drunkards, I should’ve at least escaped. Angrily, I wiped my mouth with my fist. I’d get those assholes back someday.

With shaking legs, I heaved a quivering breath. I spat again and again, trying to rid of the disgusting taste in my mouth. But it stayed. Now that I was more awake, the pain was becoming worse. Stronger. Flooding my mind.

I spotted a pool of water. It was raining last night, hard and fast. A few raindrops fell from the gutter above me. I stumbled over to it and fell onto my knees with a grunt. I hated feeling so weak. So vulnerable. So useless.

Upon seeing my reflection in the water, I scrunched up my nose in disgust. One of my eyes were swollen shut. A nasty red gash was diagonally spread across my lips. Bruises were smeared all over my face. I already thought that I looked ugly before. Now I looked beyond hideous.

Not that anybody really cared. And I didn’t care since nobody paid attention to me, anyway.

I forced myself to stand back up, wobbling a bit. My head was spinning like a crazy carousel. If I had to walk out in public like this, so be it. Let me be humiliated. People will forget about me afterwards.

I leaned onto the wall for support. Then I slowly edged out into the open, forcing myself to walk as normally as possible to blend into the crowd.

The bright sun skewered itself into my barely opening eyes. The chatter around me quieted down, some of them turning into gasps as I passed by, head down and bleeding fists shoved into my pockets. I glared at the sidewalk; I had to pretend that I was the only person here.

“Excuse me, sir?” I heard a lady call to me. I began to walk faster, zipping around a corner and stepping over my foot, tumbling and tripping onto the ground.

I groaned, pushing myself up as a few people began to surround me, hissing, “Are you okay?” and “Whoa, what happened to you?” all over the place. They sounded like buzzing mosquitos, ready to suck the blood from me.

I veered back up onto my trembling feet and pushed them out of the way. “Move,” I growled at them.

The lady that was calling my name brushed my shoulder with her hand, causing me to jerk away from her touch and glare her in the eye. I gnashed my bloody teeth together. What the hell do these people want?

“Sir, are you alright?” she asked in a shrill, frantic voice. “Do you need me to give you a ride? My car is a few blocks back. I can—“

“Leave me the hell alone,” I snapped.

She blinked stupidly, frowning. “But you’re all beat up! You need to be taken to the hospital, at least! I—“

“Fuck off!” I snarled. “I can take care of myself.”

I left her staring, her eyes digging into my back as I stormed away. All of these people were nasty. Ignorant. Dumb. Some of them, like the guys who beat me up, were demons. Monsters who fed off of others. Possessing people.

You could ask, “Aren’t there angels, too?” I’d laugh at you, loud and bold. I only met one angel in my life. That angel left me a very long time ago.

Sometimes, even in my darkest of moments, I thought of him. He gave me a sparkle of hope. Drove me on to fight all this loneliness and anger.

But that hope would burn out afterwards, because I knew that my angel had forgotten me already.

What do you want me to talk about? Symbolism or some shit? How some things mean predictions for the future? Future, my ass.

Fuck you. Fuck everyone.

* * *

It took me some time to actually get into my apartment. People kept bugging me and stopping me in the hallway, and I pushed them out of my way the best I could. One person even complained about me dripping water and blood all over the face; I thought it was the janitor.

“Stop getting all this dirt all over the halls!” I heard him shout. “I just cleaned this up!”

I blocked out his voice as I slammed the door to my room, grumbling and hissing curses underneath my breath. I didn’t give a damn if I was messing his job up. He was the one annoying me, anyway. None of my business.

My room was plain as hell. Shrunken and small. It made me feel like I was strangling the walls and floors with each and every step I took. I felt like there was barely any room between the kitchen table or my bed, and the bathroom was terribly tiny. Reminded me of my own head. Shrunken and small. Locked away to keep anything from slipping out.

In this case, my room was probably the only place I ever felt safe in.

I was all alone, too. I had to patch up everything on my sore and aching body. From the scrapes on my knees to the bruises on my fists. But like everything else, from getting beaten up and moping away from people treating me like a little baby, I was used to it. I was used to being the lonely, irritated Victor Norres.

I did my best to wipe away most of the blood in the bath-room. I winced and hissed when the wounds stung, especially the one on my face. I washed my mouth out with water, still pissed off at the two hollows left in my gums. Would they grow back? I didn’t know and I didn’t care.

I applied ointment to most of them and wrapped them up afterwards. As I stared in the mirror, I began to feel stupid. I looked stupid. Black eye, jagged lips, torn jeans and knuckles covered in red and blue. Sometimes I wished that I was the only person in the world. I wouldn’t have to deal with anybody’s bullshit. Nobody would get in my way. Nobody would humiliate me. I wouldn’t be so disappointed in everything.

But at the same time, I wished that I had somebody beside me. Someone who could understand me. As I stared into the mirror and at the blood covering my skin, I wondered if someone would clean my wounds for me. I wondered if someone would hold my face. Hold my hands no matter how roughed up they are.

Hold me. Tell me that they were there for me.

I’d have a guardian angel.

I shook off the thought. No. I was all alone here. Monsters were surrounding me. Disgusting monsters that did nothing but hurt people. My dad was one of them. He was a demon who manipulated me and manipulated others into thinking I was the danger. But I knew better than him.

I limped out of the bathroom and to one of the cabinets in the kitchen. I took out a box of cigs, lit up one of the sticks, and pressed it to my lips. I inhaled deeply. It distracted me from the sores on my body. Filled my throat with smoke and warmth.

One of the only things I really liked about this place was that smoking was pretty much allowed anywhere, anytime. Best part was that the people next door to me never complained about anything I did.

Only that one dude. The janitor. I hoped he wouldn’t bark another word at me ever again.

I stepped out onto the balcony and leaned on the railing the best I could. My knees nearly buckled. I took a deep breath, blowing smoke into the grey sky. Felt like a machine. A lonely machine, pumping out dust. Polluting the air. Polluting myself and rusting my engines until they were all dirty and crinkled.

My eye caught a few birds in the distance. It made my heart leap for a moment, remembering Dad’s voice. Good. Now bury it. These birds were free from my grasp, and I was free from their’s.

Still, I couldn’t help but look around, wondering if there were any other birds that were close. Slowly, I backed up, wobb-ling back into the safety of inside.

* * *

Later, I was all cooped up on the couch, staring at the television screen. I wrapped myself up in a cozy blanket, my jacket off to the side. I couldn’t believe that blood had gotten onto my shirt. I didn’t have that many clothes and they pretty much all looked the same. But I was sure that my jacket was zipped up just fine last night.

“Look at all those doves,” Jack said to his lovely sister Diana. “Remind me of Mom and Dad. You get that feeling?” He pointed to the dark evening sky, coated with silhouettes of many birds — devils they were in the bloody horizon. “Look at those two. They’re right next to each other.”

“Ah, yes!” Diana exclaimed. “Just like Mom and Dad. They’re gonna soar off together.”

Jack paused for a moment before looking at the ground, sighing. “What’s wrong?” his sister asked.

“I miss them. I miss Mom and Dad.”

Jesus fucking Christ, I thought to myself. Get over it. I should’ve played a drinking game while watching this shit. Every single time they said “Mom” or “Dad”, take a shot. Alcohol poisoning 101.

I rubbed my face tiredly with the blanket. My bandaged hands came into view. Ugly, beaten, and raw. It hurt just staring at them. Once again, those desperate thoughts crossed my mind: would anybody want to hold these hands?

Watching this movie wasn’t helping at all, either. Jack and Diana still spoke in cheesy, forced voices, staring out at the sunset that didn’t seem to move from its place.

Diana spoke about her boyfriend, a man who wore funky glasses and went to libraries. I wish I had a boyfriend, I moped. Then Jack began comparing his sister’s boyfriend to his own girlfriend, a woman who was a painter and writer. I wish I had a girlfriend, I sulked. I wished that I had somebody. Even a friend. Just to sit with me, talk, drink. I wished, I wished, I wished.

That lovesick feeling was practically dancing in my stomach the longer I watched. Grumbling to myself, I stood up, went over to the fridge, took a bottle of beer and went out onto the balcony once more.

There were times when I’d experience a heavy swing of emotion from thinking about love. Or anything, to be honest. My loneliness was practically controlling me, heaving itself onto my shoulders whenever I realized that even in my small home, there was so much empty space.

Afterwards, that emotion would toughen up, squeeze itself, then become nothing. It would disappear, basically, and I would feel empty. Hollow. Unmotivated. It happened a few times, I remembered as I took a sip from the bottle, when I was a kid. Mom would fuss about it, telling me to stop putting on that “long face.” At that time, I thought I had depression, but since neither Mom or Dad really paid attention to my mental health, I shrugged it off like they did.

The night was dark. Pitch black. No stars to be seen, no moon to awaken from slumber. Kinda made me sad as I stood there, leaning on the railing. I shivered from the gust of wind that brushed against me, swinging my jacket on. Winter was coming soon. A bit too soon for my tastes, to be honest. I hated the cold. I only had one jacket and it was getting a bit worn down. Barely gave me any warmth.

Below me, I heard laughter ringing like birdsong. I looked down. A few ladies and guys were paired together, giggling childishly and tip-tapping away at their phones. I frowned at them. Cigarette smoke was practically steaming from their throats, up, up, up into the air until they morphed into a thick cloud.

I sharpened my glare at the group, wanting them to look up at me. They were giving me a headache with their shrill voices. Idiots. They didn’t know how loud they were being and it was annoying the hell outta me.

Still, as I stared at them, I didn’t yell or shout. The emptiness inside of me was still very much there. The anger in my gut was weak. I watched them wearily, slipping out of my sight, their giggles dying in my ears. I took another sip out of my bottle, sighing deeply as the bitter taste flooded my mouth.

My tongue ran over the two hollow places in my gums. Two teeth. Punched out. Made me wonder if people would cringe when I smiled or laughed. I imagined myself in place with the ladies and guys, laughing with them and smoking with pride. Then I shook the thought away. Impossible. I would remain alone.

Only time I ever felt alive was with Erik. Met him a long time ago, left, never saw him again. Thought that afterwards we’d at least cross paths. At least once. But nope; we stayed on our own sides, never to spot each other’s faces ever again.

I had always had a longing for him, a feeling that I didn’t know how to describe. Hot, burning, searing in my chest. My face would grow hot whenever he was near me. He was almost oblivious to it no matter how close we were to each other. But we were just kids. Both of us would be denying those feelings no matter what.

What if he forgot about me? The nicotine from the passing group was flying into my nostrils, dusting my face. I accompanied it by taking another long drink from the beer in my hand. What if Erik didn’t know who I was anymore? What if I was crazy? Did anybody remember their childhood friend, even after tons of years of never seeing them?

I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to lurk into danger. It all seemed too risky making friends, having hope. I didn’t want to crawl out of the safety of my shell.

Deep down, even though I wouldn’t admit it, I was afraid.

But I won’t show it, I thought to myself, finishing the rest of the bottle and slipping back inside to watch Jack and Diana leaving the sunset together.

[monsterleadmehome]

Monsterleadmehome 2018 Works Masterpost

Well, this is overdue, but I wrote ~200k words in 2018, so here’s a handy masterpost of my my fics! 

Reylo Fics:

Midnight in the Resistance Base - Rated T. My first Reylo one-shot! This was a scene I just couldn’t get out of my head after seeing TLJ. Leia discovers the Force bond between Rey and Ben.

Dawn of the Rebellion - Rated T. taking place immediately after Midnight, this was my first multi-chapter. Basically my wishlist for IX.

Chariot - Rated E. My first attempt at the smutty one-shot! Title is from a song that had little to do with what actually happens in the fic, but I was drunk when I wrote it so it made sense at the time. Modern AU. Ben and Rey meet at Dr. Anakin Skywalker’s memorial.

Training Day - Rated E. Canonverse. One-shot. Ben and Rey are good at sparring, not so much at sex. But all that is about to change...

Code 288 - Rated E. One-shot. Detectives Ben Solo and Rey Johnson have been partners for the last five years. Now he's going to another precinct to take over as Captain. He asks her for help saying goodbye with a romp in the interrogation room.

Careless Whisper - Rated E. One-shot. 80′s AU. Rey doesn't know why she lets her college roommate Rose talk her into going out, but she does. She should be studying, but instead she is at the bitchin' new club everyone is talking about. Then a stranger in a Duran Duran shirt catches her eye and suddenly it's not a wasted evening.

Truth Be Told - Rated M. Multi-chapter. Unfinished (but hoping to start back on this one soon!) Alias AU. Rey is an agent with SD-6, a secret branch of the CIA. But a chance encounter with the mysterious agent Kylo Ren could send everything she knows crashing to the ground. Could she be working for the very enemy she thought she was fighting?

Spicy Dreams - Rated E. One-shot. Probably one of the dirtiest things I’ve written. It’s Breylo tentacle, ya’ll. What happens when Rey eats a burrito then takes a nap.

America’s Asshole - Rated E. One-shot. Ben Solo is a critically acclaimed (but widely despised) movie star. Dubbed "America's Asshole" by the press, he has recently finished a stint in an anger management facility after punching his last agent in the face.Rey Niima is a top talent agent and is outraged to find out she has been assigned to be Ben Solo's newest victim. When they start to work together the sparks will fly (in more ways than one).

let’s be human (while we still remember how) - Rated E. 2 chapters. Complete. Canonverse. Kylo Ren has defected to the Resistance and will only speak to Rey of Jakku, much to General Poe Dameron's chagrin. Can Rey get the information from him that she needs for to turn the tide of the war? And what is she supposed to do with all these feelings that Ben Solo has stirred in her soul?

caelum et infernum - Rated E. 10 chapters. Complete. A/B/O. Supernatural AU. Kylo Ren is a hunter. You name it, he hunts it: demons, vampires, ghosts, werewolves, etc. His alpha designation makes him exceptionally good at it. Scarce in today’s mostly beta society, alphas are treated as outcasts, making his life on the road lonely. That is until he meets Rey Johnson, a prophet who sees visions of the future. She also happens to be a rare omega. Once he saves her life, she must join him on the run as they are caught up in a battle between Heaven, Hell and their inexorable pull to each other.

Whiskey & Superstition - Rated E. 6 chapters. Complete. Reylogan AU. Rey Johnson is a junior agent in the FBI, trying to prove her mettle. So when Special Agent Sarah Grayson sends her on a secret mission to Boone County, West Virginia to scope out the Logan family, she readily accepts. Only the mission may not be all it seems, and Rey certainly didn't expect to fall hard for the bartender with a heart of gold, Clyde.

Walk This Way - Rated E. 3 chapters. Complete. Modern AU. Rey Johnson is the lone female on a crew of construction workers renovating a building in the NYC neighborhood of SoHo. She hates the way her teammates ogle and catcall women. One day, a handsome passerby catches her eye and she develops a staring problem. Her foreman, Poe Dameron, notices and decides to help her out. Ben Solo works for a publishing company in the heart of SoHo. He's made a comfortable, quiet life for himself. Then a pretty construction worker shows up on the stoop by his work and suddenly he's got a new morning routine. The last thing he expected is for her to actually be interested in him.

pools of sorrow, waves of joy - various ratings. 35 chapters. A collection of Reylo song prompts.

Aim True - Rated E. One-shot. Robin Hood AU. The masked bandit Kylo Ren has been robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, much to Sheriff Hux's chagrin. There is a sizable reward out for his capture. However, when another masked thief crosses his path, he is presented with an interesting choice.

Reylo Monster Week (One-shots)

Catacombs - Rated E. Vampires.

Howl - Rated E. Werewolves.

Don’t Fear the Reaper - Rated M. Demons & Angels.

Out of the Ashes - Rated E. Mythological Beings.

The Great Lake - Rated E. Sea Creatures.

Torchlight - Rated M. Naga.

Boys & Ghouls - Rated E. Free Choice (Bigfoot)

Tryptophan and Seratonin - Rated E. 2 chapters. Complete. Ben Solo hates Thanksgiving at his family's house. However, this year, his mother has invited a special guest - Rey Abrams, the girl he's been crushing on at work. When Ben consumes too much turkey, he falls asleep on the couch and has a rather vivid dream about Rey. Will he be able to hold his composure and finally ask her out?

Category 4 - Rated E. 3 chapters. Complete. Ben Solo goes home for his parents' anniversary party. Little does he know they invited the girl he had a major crush on two summers ago. Or that they're about to be stranded together in the midst of a hurricane.

Mind if I Move in Closer? - Rated E. One-shot. It's Christmas Eve and Rey has left her shopping till the last minute. Fortunately, she runs into a fellow last minute shopper and they decide to get a bite to eat at one of the only places still open...

The Echoes They Left Behind - This originally published in the Reylo Charity Anthology so I’m counting it for 2018. Rated E. 7 chapters. WIP. In present day Takodana, upstate New York, Rey Johnson is the caretaker of the abandoned Takodana Sanatorium, a facility that used to be an asylum for the criminally insane as well as a tuberculosis ward during the epidemic. Ben Solo has been sent by First Order publications to do an article on the old asylum before it is torn down. In that same sanatorium, in the 1940s, Kira Kenobi is an idealistic nurse whose world is upended by the arrival of the dark, mysterious patient Kylo Ren. As the past and the present collide, can Rey find out the secrets the spirits of the asylum want her to know before the wrecking ball destroys it all?

The Stairwell - Rated M. One-shot. Ben Solo has worked with Rey Johnson for the past two years. And he's been in love with her the whole time. He just needs to work up the courage to tell her... unless she beats him to it.

All At Once - Rated E. One-shot. Canonverse. The First Order has taken over the planet Neftali in the Soccoro system. Every year, the town of Cordel Cove hosts a winter carnival that culminates in a masquerade ball. The presence of one Supreme Leader has been requested. The Resistance has come to Neftali to strike a deal with a shady organization, using the carnival as a distraction. They send Rey to the masquerade to keep an eye on things. After one too many drinks, the masked man all in black catches her eye and asks for a dance. But what will happen when the masks come off?

Dramione Fics:

Marked - Rated E. One-shot. A/B/O. Hermione Granger's heat wasn't supposed to start for another two weeks. But that was before the intoxicating scent of an unknown alpha triggered it as they passed in the atrium. Can she make it through the rest of the day before starting her leave? And who is the mysterious alpha who smells like her perfect mate?

A Fantastic Assignment. Rated E. Projected 4 chapters. WIP. Fresh off a win from the passing of Dobby's Law, Hermione Granger is given a new assignment for her job in the Department for the Regulation and Care of Magical Creatures: track down a missing selkie that has been kidnapped from the care of Rolf Scamander. When reports of the selkie being taken to New York City show up, the ministry assigns an Auror to accompany her to the US: Draco Malfoy. Can the two of them work together in order to capture the thief and bring the selkie safely back to Britain?

Stay tuned--I’ve got more Reylo and Dramione planned for 2019!

[huilian]

Equal to A Death Sentence

Characters: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd

Summary: A drunken night, leads to a drunken confession.

A/N: Happy New Year! Have some angst!

Dick was drunk. It wasn't often that he would be seriously drunk, but apparently it was one of those nights. It was the anniversary of his parents' death, and if that didn't bring back memories, Dick didn't know what will. He was planning to get drunk at one of the dingy bars in Gotham. He didn't trust himself with being in Bludhaven. At least in Gotham, there were other people. In Bludhaven, he would be completely alone. He was nearing half the bottle of cheap vodka when he saw Jason. Damnit. He was not prepared for that. He had specifically chosen a place nowhere near his family for the night. Why would Jason be here, now? Jason hadn't seen him yet, though. He could still get out of this bar. And, Jason saw him. No going out now. Jason walked towards him. A smug smile on his lips and a swagger to his steps. Dick wished he could be anywhere but here now. “Well, well, well. The Golden Boy, slumming it in Gotham bar. Never thought this day would come,” Jason said. “What are you doing here, Jay?” Dick managed to bit out. “Nothing of particular interest, now that I saw you here." Jason shrugged. “What are you doing here?” “Nothing,” Dick said. “Really? 'Cause I've got a dozen texts from Replacement to Bruce asking if I've seen you anywhere.” “Well, are you going to tell them?” Jason tilted his head, then gave a half-shrug. “Nah. I'm curious though. What got your ribbons in a knot?” “None of your concern, Jay.” “Oh, come on! You're drunk in a bar on the outskirts of Gotham, evading the family. I'm not going to be the one who explains this to B.” “Then just scram, Jay.”

Jason sighed. His whole demeanour changed. “You've gotten everyone worried, Dickie-bird. What's going on?” Dick simply looked at him. Jason waited patiently. “You're saying you don't know?” Dick asked him. “What? I'm supposed to know?” Then Jason's face fall. “Oh.” “Yeah, Jay. Oh.” Jason didn't call Bruce, or Babs. He sat down next to Dick, and asked for a glass from the bartender. When he got it, he poured a sizeable amount of the vodka Dick had on the table, then drank it in one shot. Through it all, Dick could only watch in amazement. “What is this shit? It tastes like, well, shit," Jason said. “You don't have to drink it if you don't want to, Jay," Dick said with a long suffering sigh. “Nah. If you're going to get drunk, I'm going to get drunk with you. Then you're going to my apartment.” That got Dick to look at Jason with amazement. “Don't think anything about it, I'm overdue for an apartment change anyway.” Dick let the matter drop. He continued drinking his vodka, only pausing periodically to check Jason's drinking. Jason only sipped at his drink, aside from that first swig. Dick wondered what that meant. Dick took another shot of the vodka. He decided to try to decipher what it meant tomorrow, when he was not out of his mind with grief and drunk to the gills. After a while, there was nothing left in the bottle. Dick called for another one. Thanks to his training, he had an amazing tolerance for alcohol, and he wanted to get drunk tonight, not just slightly tipsy. Jason saw that and said, “Damn, Dickiebird." Dick just glared at him, then took another swig of the vodka. “Okay, okay.” Jason raised his hands. They fell into silence again, broken only by the clinking of glass on glass. After Dick had drank his way through most of the second bottle, Jason took his glass and said, “Okay, that's enough.” Dick was too intoxicated to resist Jason's suspiciously gentle hands. Jason half-dragged, half-carried him to where he put his bike. Wait a second. His bike. “You took a bike here?” Dick managed to get the words out. “Hey, it's not my fault you decide to get drunk. Just hold on, my apartment's not far.” Dick grumbled while Jason lifted him up his bike and put his hands around Jason's waist. He tried to hold on tight, but his hands were too weak to do it. Thankfully, Jason's apartment really was not far from the bar. Jason then dragged slash carried Dick down from the bike, then up into the apartment. When they reached the apartment, Jason dumped him on the couch, then dissapeared into the kitchen. He reemerged with a glass of water. He gave it to Dick, who took it only after Jason had glared at him. “Drink. You'll feel better in the morning." Dick nodded his thanks. Jason went out again, and he could hear parts of a conversation. Dick was too tired and drunk to try to keep up. Jason went back in, a sour expression on his face. It was the kind having a conversation with Bruce will bring out. “Just talked to the big bad bat. You'll have problems with him tomorrow, Goldie.” “Heh. Goldie. I doubt I'm the golden boy, Jay.” “Did really not hear the part where you and him are going to have problems tommorow?” “We have problems everytime. It's nothing.” “Huh.” They fell into silence again, Dick sipping at his water and Jason taking a seat at the sofa. After a while, Dick said, "Have I ever told you where I got the name Robin?" “I'm not in the mood for a storytelling session, Dickiebird.” “No, really, have I told you? I know I told you about Nightwing, but do you know where Robin came from?” Jason sighed. “I just assume you made it up. It sure sounds like it.” “My mother used to call me that,” Dick said. That got Jason to look at him, really look at him. “I don't want to hear this, Dick.” Dick continued on. “She said it was because I was born on the first day of spring. And because I fly. I was her little robin, giving life and cheer everywhere.” “Too much cheer,” Jason grumbled under his breath. “Sometimes I wonder if she would hate me, knowing that the name she gave me was identical to a death sentence.” “The fuck. I'm outta here.” Jason made a move to stand up. Dick, drunk as he was, still managed to pull him back down. “You asked me why I was drinking myself to a stupor back there. Well, here's the answer. My mother would hate the fact that Robin was now equal to a death sentence.” Jason opened his mouth to argue, but Dick beat him to it. “I know about the jokes. You and Steph and Damian joked that dying is basically a rite of passage by being Robin. And yeah. All of you died, Jay. You, Stephanie, Damian, Tim, died because of Robin.” “I wouldn't put Tim there.” “He died because he was a Robin, Jay. You can't argue with that.” Jason sighed. “Everyone in the hero industry died, Dick. You know that.” “But Robins died, more than anyone else. More than any mantle. Makes me wonder if it is best that Bruce didn't take me in way back then. No Robins, no deaths.” “God, things I never wanted to know about your sad ass. That's simply the alcohol talking, Dickiebird. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning.” Dick wanted to argue, but Jason glared at him. “Go.To. Sleep. Take the couch.” “Allright, allright.” Dick was too tired to protest more. Jason somehow has gotten up from the sofa, and he laid down. Within seconds, Dick was fast asleep. *** The next morning, Dick woke up with a terrible headache and a sore back from sleeping on the couch. He sat up, then he saw a glass of water and some aspirin. A note was slipped in between the glass and the table. Robin was the best years of my life. I'm pretty sure Tim, Steph, and Damian felt the same. Ps. If you ever say this to anyone, I will kill you. Dick smiled.

[the-master-cylinder]

SUMMARY Anglers from the fishing village of Noyo, California catch what appears to be a monster. The young son of one of the anglers falls into the water and something unseen drags him under the surface. Another angler prepares a flare gun but he slips and accidentally fires it into the deck, which is soaked with gasoline dropped earlier by the boy. The vessel bursts into flames and explodes; everybody aboard is killed. Jim Hill (McClure) and his wife Carol witness the explosion. Later, Jim and Carol’s dog goes missing and the pair finds its dismembered corpse on the nearby beach.

The following day, teenagers Jerry Potter (Meegan King) and Peggy Larson (Lynn Schiller) go for a swim at the beach. Jerry is abruptly pulled under the water. Peggy believes it is a prank until she discovers his mutilated corpse. Peggy screams and tries to reach the beach but a monstrous figure drags her across the sand. The humanoid creature tears off her bikini and rapes her.

That night, two more teenagers are camping on the same beach. Billy (David Strassman) is about to have sex with his girlfriend, Becky (Lisa Glaser) when another humanoid monster claws its way inside, kills him and chases Becky onto the beach. She outruns her assailant but then runs into the arms of yet another monster, which throws her to the sand and rapes her. More attacks follow; not all of them successful, but few witnesses survive to tell the public about the incidents; only Peggy is found alive, though severely traumatized. Jim’s brother is also attacked, prompting Jim to take a personal interest in the matter.

A company called Canco has announced plans to build a huge cannery near Noyo. The murderous, sex-hungry mutations are apparently the result of Canco’s experiments with a growth hormone they had earlier administered to salmon. The salmon escaped from Canco’s laboratory into the ocean during a storm and were eaten by large fish that then mutated into the brutal, depraved humanoids that have begun to terrorize the village.

By the time Jim and Canco scientist Dr. Susan Drake (Turkel) have deduced what is occurring, the village’s annual festival has begun. At the festival, many humanoids appear, murdering the men and raping every woman they can grab. Jim devises a plan to stop the humanoids by pumping gasoline into the bay and setting it on fire, cutting off the humanoids’ way of retreat. Meanwhile, Carol is attacked at home by two of the creatures, but manages to kill them before Jim arrives.

The morning after the festival, normality seems to have returned to the village. Jim asks the sheriff about Dr. Drake. The sheriff mumbles that she went back to the lab, where she is coaching a pregnant Peggy, who has survived her sexual assault. Peggy is about to give birth when her monstrous offspring bursts from her womb, with Peggy screaming at the screeching baby.

PRODUCTION The 1980 release from Roger Corman’s New World Pictures has become infamous (and popular) for its mutant/beach bunny interaction and its shocking climactic variation on Alien’s chestburster. And amazingly enough, the notorious feature was directed by a woman! Although she has done many movies, Barbara Peeters knows what her legacy is. “I’m the mother of the Humanoids from the Deep,” she laughs. “No matter what I do, that damn movie haunts my ass!”

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The Iowa-born Peeters is a founding mother of the modern B-movie. While women were denied directing gigs at major studios, the dynamic Peeters was helming drive-in fare with feminist messages. Before Humanoids from the Deep, she did the girlbiker flick Bury Me an Angel (1972) and the sex comedies Summer School Teachers (1975). “It didn’t matter if it was a prison, biker or horror flick, because I would always manage to get my thinking in somewhere, even if it was just a comment,” she recalls. “When I did Humanoids, though, I was not a horror fan. I literally did it because I needed a job. As a kid, I thought Creature from the Black Lagoon was the scariest movie ever made. I looked at it before I started, and used whatever worked!”

Peeters recalls that she came onto Humanoids late; all of Corman’s boys turned it down, even Joe Dante and Roger finally offered it to me. Of course, I took it. After all, how many girl directors got offered a movie in those days?” She also faced a personal crisis: “I had been diagnosed with cancer, so it was important I show the industry I could still work.

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“It was a rough shoot,” she continues. “I believe that’s why the guys turned it down! No sleep, shooting all night on water. I worked in a wetsuit, which is funny because I can’t swim. We put the camera on a barge, got our wide shots. When it was time to shoot close-ups, the tide came in! It was a constant battle with the elements; the water was so choppy, we gave $5 to the first person to throw up. We found the location in June: Fort Bragg. When we went back to shoot, it was Thanksgiving, so the girls froze! I walked into ocean blowholes to find caves for our monsters.”

“I remember freezing,” says Turkel. “If you look at the boat scenes, I’m wearing a swimsuit while Doug’s in a sweater. I loved doing the monster autopsy, because I got to wear a nice warm lab coat!”

Actress/model Turkel had previously appeared in films like 1977’s thriller The Cassandra Crossing and the 1979 sci-fi actioner Ravagers (1979), while McClure was a ’50s cowboy star who had starred in ’70s cheese such as At the Earth’s Core, The Land That Time Forgot and Warlords of Atlantis. He once claimed Humanoids had a different title when he agreed to star in it.

“That’s true,” Turkel says. “When I got the script, it was called Beneath the Darkness, an interesting horror-thriller like Alien. Imagine how I felt when they changed it! Friends teased me when TV ads announced ‘Humanoids from the Deep, starring Ann Turkel!’”

As for veteran actor Morrow, “I loved him,” Peeters says. “I admired him in The Blackboard Jungle. His daughter visited during the shoot and hung out on set. Nice family; he died two years later. But we knew from the shoot that Vic was the clumsiest man on two feet. He never did his own stunts; Vic couldn’t walk and chew gum—he was the first one to tell you that. He really struggled in our fight scenes, and Doug McClure got Vic through those. Doug was a stuntman who could do anything; we choreographed our parking-lot brawl around him. We kept Vic in back, although he got to kick a guy in the stomach—he liked that!”

McClure, however, “was a funny drunk,” Peeters fondly recalls. “We had to ration his booze through the day. I had a PA keep an eye on him. We had to let him have a beer every couple of hours, because he was an alcoholic, and Vic was right there with him! Vic got cranky on booze and Doug got cranky sober, so we had to monitor them and make sure one got enough and neither got too much.”

Turkel “was nice,” Peeters says. “We probably should have done a nude scene with Ann-she was gorgeous! She was a Ford model in New York before she became an actress and married Richard Harris. She looked great in a swimsuit, too.” And the actress soldiered on through Humanoids even as she was going through an upsetting drama in real life. “Richard told Ann he was divorcing her right in the middle of filming. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that,” Peeters says sarcastically. “God bless her; Annie fell apart for 24 hours and then pulled herself together and did it. We were very tight; she’s a sweet girl.”

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“That was difficult,” Turkel admits, “but I wasn’t gonna let it affect my performance with all Barbara was going through, I wanted to help her as much as I could.”

The mutant fishmen show a complete lack of political correctness throughout Humanoids. Besides reckless sexual behavior, they also bump off children and dogs! “I didn’t mind killing the kid, murdering men and raping women, but I couldn’t bear to see dogs dead,” Peeters says cheerfully. “I left the set when the dogs were lying on the dock. They weren’t really dead, of course, but as a dog lover, I couldn’t bear to see them like that.”

SPECIAL EFFECTS The Humanoids are impressive brutes, equal parts Alien and ’50s critters like The Gill Man. With their exposed brains, mouths full of serrated teeth and nubby tails, they’re truly disturbing, resembling H.P. Lovecraft’s Deep Ones and sharing their lust for human women.

“On set, we called them ‘Noids,’” Peeters reveals. “When I read the script, I got to the part where it said, ‘Thousands and thousands of Humanoids emerge from the ocean…’ I asked Roger, ‘How are you planning on doing that?’ and he said ‘That’s your job!’ I believe we had two full bodied Humanoids, and the others were parts. I would hide how few we had with a flash of an arm, with one really close-up and another running way in the background. Sometimes I used mirrors! For the finale, I had Humanoids on a merry-go-round with mirrors, so I had the same one run back and forth in front of it. That meant you would see him in the foreground, but also see his reflection and think you were seeing two. We used pieces to create a third and another half in frame choking someone, so you got the sense that there was an army of Humanoids. It was a mathematical problem; I felt like Jesus with the loaves and fishes.

“Those monsters were invented by Rob Bottin, who we called “Robin’ back then,” the director recalls of the artist who would soon break out with his landmark work on The Howling and The Thing. “Robin was still a young boy

very serious about his monsters! Everything with him was dramatic and passionate. He broke down crying one day, I don’t remember why, but I thought, “Oh my God!’ It reminded me how young he was. Rob had a great team of guys, talented and hard-working. [Stuntman] Diamond Farnsworth was my ‘Noid who took the most abuse; he was terrific. I loved my ‘Noids.”

“I actually played a Humanoid,” Bottin laughs. “Several of my guys did also. I had the crew come to my place in El Monte, rather than go all the way down to Corman’s studio in Venice about 40 miles away, so we could do an effect in my garage. I thought I was smart, but I didn’t realize that while I was showing them the gag in my garage, Roger had them move my furniture onto the front lawn to shoot a scene in my living room!” As for working in the Pacific in a bulky Humanoid suit, “I kept telling the crew to be on the lookout for a hapless drowning whale-it would have to be me!”

Fellow Humanoid Steve Johnson, who also went on to an illustrious FX career, remembers that being an undersea mutant was no picnic. “Those suits were impossible to get into and out of,” he says. “Once you put on that costume, you were in it for the night. As a Humanoid, you had a tail made up of a series of hinges, so you could not sit down because that tail was incredibly uncomfortable. They also had extended arms, made by Chris Walas. We covered them with hemp fiber as seaweed, to hide the foam and joints, because nothing was finished! We were shooting all night, and making stuff up as we shot.

“Barbara Peeters thought I was the best Humanoid when it came to taking hits,” Johnson proudly continues. “Any time a Humanoid was shot, that was usually me all squibbed up. I raped one of the girls and doubled a male victim after he was mauled, because he didn’t want to wear all the prosthetics when his face is ripped off.” “Steve was great—a hardworking Humanoid, bless his heart,” Peeters adds.

“I had two great joys making the film,” Johnson says. “In one, a Humanoid gets a crowbar in the brain. Since I made the head, I said I would do it, because everyone else was afraid to; we had one head, so it had to be one take. I was nervous, but I knew where and how hard to hit it.

“Then I saw the funniest thing I have seen in my entire career: Bottin, in full Humanoid suit, with those ridiculously long arm extensions. Once you were suited up, you couldn’t even stand without help! With his tail on, he couldn’t sit, and he had those extensions he couldn’t take off, so he could not do anything with his hands—and they wouldn’t get to the shot. That always happens on movie sets, but he had been suited up for three hours as we filmed on a dock.

“Finally, Rob just blew up-screaming and yelling at the entire production team while wearing this Humanoid suit!” Johnson laughs. “He was gesturing with these big arms, wearing the monster head-it was the funniest thing I have ever seen.”

Also part of the Humanoids monster crew was Kenny Myers, “I was a makeup artist for Rob, but I did a bit of everything, including taking care of the guys in the suits,” he recalls. “I think my name is misspelled in the credits! I helped sew together the original Humanoid suit, which took eight hours, and we actually sewed the guy into the outfit, because the pieces hadn’t been assembled yet. Shawn McEnroe and I sewed all these rubber pieces on by hand.

“Rob, Steve and their crew had just finished Tanya’s Island, and were completely burned out,” Myers continues. “The guys were walking zombies, so Rob brought me in for fresh blood. We never got a Humanoids script, so we never knew what was coming at us until the day before. Things like the dead dog on the beach? We literally threw clay onto a board and sculpted it! We used foam and hair to make that dog; almost everything was done in a day.”

How did Humanoids from the Deep come about?

Roger Corman: Much like with Piranha, someone had brought me the screenplay for Humanoids- I can’t remember who—and I had it rewritten and we made it simply because I liked the story. It was unusual, actually, that both pictures came from outside sources, because more often than not, all the ideas for our films came from me.

Humanoids is full of sex, nudity and sexual violence. Having a woman Barbara Peeters, direct it was unusual. Did you hire a woman because the subject matter was potentially volatile?

Roger Corman: No, I brought Barbara on board because she was a good director.

Did you tangle with the ratings board at all with this film?

Roger Corman: On Humanoids, we stayed within the boundaries of the R rating, and had no problem getting it. If I remember correctly, we had to cut very little, if any. thing. When I talked to Barbara about the movie PIRANHA initially, I told her that the premise was very simple: the Humanoids rape the women and they kill the men. And she said, “OK, got it,’ and that’s what she did!

Being a Humanoid victim was not easy, according to actor Greg Travis, who plays KFISH DJ Mike Michaels at the film’s end. “It was my first movie I was 19, and a Humanoid rips my chest off,” says Travis. “I’m with my girl sidekick, Miss Salmon (Linda Shayne), as the monsters attack. I’m caught between a Humanoid and Miss Salmon, so he kills me. They put a prosthetic across my chest, so when he claws me, my chest falls off, blood squirts and I spasm.

“The monsters were creepy, though they were never quite as scary up close as they are on film because of lighting,” Travis notes. “Linda was uptight because she had to get topless. I was gonna do a hand move pretending to touch her chest like a dial, but she got bent out of shape and wouldn’t do it. I did get to put a K-FISH sticker on a girl’s butt, though.”

The actor recalls that a good deal of improv went into the experience: “There was a DJ in the script, but I ad-libbed most of my dialogue. As I was a stand-up comic, they liked what I did. My roommate David Strassman was also in it, with his dummy, Chuck Wood. He’s the ventriloquist with the girl. He plays Vegas now. We always laugh about being killed by Humanoids from the Deep!

“We did pickup shots all night in Malibu,” he continues. “I bought a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken on my way down. The crew laughed at me: “You don’t need that; we have craft services bringing a big dinner!’ But their truck couldn’t find the location, so my chicken was all they had.

They loved me, man. Especially Rob Bottin, he and I ate KFC all night.” In the midst of the mayhem, Peeters includes a disturbing moment where a Humanoid pulls a little girl away for mating purposes. “I liked that because it was unsettling,” she says. “There’s another shot of people screaming and running around a crying baby. I got that from Sam Peckinpah, who said, ‘You don’t realize you’re in danger until you see children in danger.'”

Her favorite scene, however, “is when McClure’s wife, played by Cindy Weintraub, is home alone with their baby. You see a shadow on the wall as Humanoids attack. You can never get a baby to cry on cue, but he started screaming on his own. I thought that sequence was scary, as the monster hand comes through the door. You go ‘Oh shit!’ as Cindy grabs the knife. That low angle of the hand really worked. We also did a cool close-up across the room-you see the fire and a slow pan across the Fisher Stereo to Cindy. We included that shot because Fisher said if I did it, I could have the unit. I always loved freebies!”

In Humanoids’ crowd-pleasing climax, Dr. Drake discovers that Humanoid rape victim Peggy (Lynn Theel) is pregnant. She suddenly realizes this isn’t a normal pregnancy (first clue: Peggy got pregnant in a day!), and the poor girl’s stomach explodes as she gives birth to a baby creature. “We shot the monster birth at a community hospital in Fort Bragg,” Peeters recalls.

“Rob made it all happen; it was an elaborate scene he pulled off. One guy pumped blood while another Kenny—was under the table pushing the baby through; it was hilarious. Annie saying, ‘Push, dear, push!’ to get the little Humanoid out was like a Saturday Night Live sketch.”

“Oh, that was so funny,” Turkel adds. “Here I am, a scientist, and all I do to help is say, ‘Push, Peggy, push!’ It was a very messy scene, too.”

“That monster baby is one of my all-time favorites,” Myers says. “I was under the table, Lynn was pregnant on it and this is where it got insane. I had this pregnant appliance on her, and I was between her legs with a pump, making her belly jump. Lynn started giggling-Kenny? You’re tickling my thighs!’ My head bobbed up between her legs, the most obscene-looking thing you’ve ever seen. Nobody could stop laughing during this dramatic scene! Lynn had the hotel room across from us effects guys, and was a doll. A Playboy Playmate, nicest girl you’d ever meet; even sang me ‘Happy Birthday,’ ” Myers says fondly.

“Oh, Lynn was a trouper,” Peeters says. “I felt bad, because we put her through a lot. In the scene where we find her in the kelp bed, Lynn turned blue from hypothermia! The ‘Noids went into freezing water with wetsuits underneath, but poor Lynn was just in a bikini, dying out there.”

Peeters wasn’t responsible for the film’s worst moments of misogynist monster mayhem. After Humanoids wrapped, Corman had Battle Beyond the Stars director Jimmy T. Murakami punch up the sex and violence. “Roger put in a couple of nude-women scenes to spark up the movie,” Peeters explains. “He added the Salmon Queen being ravaged to the ending we shot, the tent attack and the rape of Peggy on the beach-shot on a dark and grainy film stock that didn’t match ours. When Peggy’s attacked, I only shot her screaming, with her hands clawing the sand as the Humanoid drags her away. You saw the monster’s hand on her leg, that’s it—you didn’t see anything else because it was too early! You don’t know what happened to her. Later, in the ‘Noids’ nest, you find her naked in the kelp bed and think, ‘Oh my God-at least she’s alive!’ I don’t really think we needed the shot of the Humanoid humping her, though I have no problem with nudity; I just thought it took the terror out and changed the whole tone.

“Roger decided to have ‘one of the boys’ do those scenes,” she continues. “When Ann and I went to the screening, we saw them for the first time, with no idea they had been added. I was furious, because I had put in so much energy and went through hell to make the film. Seeing this stuff, with no attempt to integrate it? Ugh! It pissed Ann off, and she was much more vocal about it than me.”

“I really was,” Turkel says. “That’s why I went public, it wasn’t the film I made. I did it because Richard (Harris) pointed out to me that Peter O’Toole had the same thing happen with Caligula, when they added [pornographic] stuff after he shot his scenes. I complained to SAG and People magazine.”

For her part, Peeters “wanted my name taken off, because it wasn’t the movie I made—and they misspelled my name on half the posters anyway! I appeared in the LA Times disowning Humanoids as it opened.” She adds that, as in her previous features, she had hoped to imbue Humanoids with a feminist message. “That’s what Ann and I were making: a horror movie from a feminine point of view. We felt we could make a scary film based on man’s obsessive desire to f**k with nature, the feminine side. The Humanoids were payback for corporate greed—it’s always the young, the old and the women who pay these bills. We did it within the horror formula. That’s the movie we made, then we saw what the boys did to it; the crass puppet and big-tittied Salmon Queen were creations of pimply dorks jacking off to a trite, worn-around-the-edges dick fantasy. That’s not what Ann or I wanted our names on. If there’s any message in Humanoids, it’s feminine survival in a male-dominated world; it ain’t easy out here, baby!”

Peeters recovered from cancer to become a respected director. “I now run Platinum Productions; I want to make films for senior citizens, an ignored market,” she says. “I’m working on mature comedies where I want everyone on the crew to be 50 and older, including the leads.” She caught Humanoids on TV recently, “and you know what? It’s a fun little thing,” Peeters says. “Overseas, it was called Monster, like the Charlize Theron movie. I laugh every time somebody says, ‘Monster won the Oscar’!”

SCORE/SOUNDTRACK

CAST/CREW Directed Barbara Peeters Jimmy T. Murakami (uncredited)

Produced Martin B. Cohen Roger Corman (executive)

Screenplay Frederick James Story by Frank Arnold Martin B. Cohen

Doug McClure as Jim Hill Ann Turkel as Dr. Susan Drake Vic Morrow as Hank Slattery Cindy Weintraub as Carol Hill Anthony Pena as Johnny Eagle Denise Galik as Linda Beale Lynn Schiller as Peggy Larson Meegan King as Jerry Potter Breck Costin as Tommy Hill

Rob Bottin   … humanoids creator & designer Roger George … special effects Chris Walas  … special effects Karoly Balazs    … makeup artist: second unit (as Charles T. Balazs) Steve Johnson    … special makeup effects assistant Marla Manalis    … hair stylist / makeup artist Shawn McEnroe    … special makeup effects assistant Kenny Myers  … special makeup effects assistant (as Ken Myers) Margaret Prentice … special effects makeup (uncredited)

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Starlog#296 Fangoria#265

Humanoids from the Deep (1980) Retrospective SUMMARY Anglers from the fishing village of Noyo, California catch what appears to be a monster. The young son of one of the anglers falls into the water and something unseen drags him under the surface.

[abirdandabeast]

Drunk raven expressing her feeling to bb, the really deep ones and the more cute ones too :))

Sensitive ears were great and all, unless the music was cranked up to a hundred hertz. Then, the only thing that could be heard was a constant thump and nothing else. 

That, and he always got a gnarly headache that battered at his temples for the remainder of the night. 

Beast Boy scowled and glared at his drink, wishing he could be far away from here. 

Today hadn’t been a good day. They’d nearly lost a bus full of kids to some idiot who thought blowing up bridges would be a fun pastime, and all Beast Boy wanted to do was lounge on the sofa, eat some pizza, and call it a night. He was sore, tired, and the horrors of narrowly missing getting burned to a crisp were still far too fresh on his mind. 

So yeah, a club really wasn’t where he wanted to be. 

But Robin had been determined to celebrate their success, probably to help lift the team’s spirits, or whatever. He took another swig of the brandy, wincing at the burn of the liquor in his throat. Beast Boy appreciated the gesture, he really did, but he just wasn’t feeling this tonight. 

A hint of lilacs tickled his nose, and Beast Boy turned to see Raven leaning over his shoulder. “Hey,” she shouted, her voice barely carrying over the booming music. “Dance with me.” 

He blinked. “What?” 

There was a laugh. “Come on!” She snagged his wrist, tugging him to his feet, and stumbling as she led him to the surging bodies on the dance floor. Strobe lights dazzled in his eyes, but Beast Boy could still see the way Raven fumbled on her feet. 

Was Raven…drunk? 

She jerked him close, attempting to sway to the beat. Her motions were jerky and unbalanced, and Beast Boy caught a strong whiff of liquor mingling with her natural scent. 

Well, she’d at least been drinking. She had to be, asking him to dance and all. 

The empath in question twirled a bit too hard and managed to throw herself off kilter. Beast Boy lurched forward and snagged her by the shoulders just before she could come crashing down onto the floor. “Uh, Rae?” he shouted. “How much have you drank tonight?” 

Raven blinked, her gaze out of focus. She giggled, letting herself lean into his touch. “I dunno,” she slurred, “my brain feels funny.” Her face screwed up as she paused to think, creating the most single-handedly adorable expression Beast Boy had ever seen grace her features. He bit back a snort. 

Oh yeah. Raven was definitely smashed. 

“Come on, let’s get you off the dance floor.” 

He led her away from the strobe lights and disco balls and towards a balcony just across from the bar. Cool air tickled his skin, and he instinctively threw an arm across Raven’s shoulders. Wouldn’t want her catching a cold, right? 

She didn’t seem fazed by the motion, instead wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning into him. “Mmmh,” she hummed, “you’re warm.” 

Beast Boy gulped, feeling his face grow hot. He could really smell the alcohol on her now that they were out in the crisp night air. Damn. She really must have been going at those shots. 

A little table caught Beast Boy’s attention, and he guided the inebriated empath over one of its chairs. “Here, why don’t we sit for a bit?” 

Raven laughed. “You’re such a cutie, Beastie. W-why’re you so cute?” She jabbed him with a finger as she spoke, her expression accusing. Beast Boy blinked. 

“I-I dunno. You think I’m cute?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Isn’t it obvious, B?” Raven lazily twirled a finger in her haphazard hair, waggling her eyebrows at him. “You are very, very cute.” 

Beast Boy blanched. This…this was bizarre. Raven exuded a forwardness he was completely unfamiliar with, fueled by her concoction of liquid courage, and it was starting to scare him. Did she…like him? That was impossible! 

Right?

Raven slumped into the chair, her glassy eyes flashing. “If I didn’t feel so…woozy… I’d kiss you right now.” Her expression quickly morphed from enticing to pained, and she dropped her head in her hands. “Ugh, I think I’m gonna be sick.” 

Beast Boy let out an awkward laugh, reaching out to rub her back. “Yeah, that tends to happen when you drink to much…” He whipped out his communicator and dialed for Cyborg. “I think it’s time for you to go home.” 

Raven’s hand curled around his wrist, prompting him to look up and meet her gaze. He blinked, his breath catching at the intensity swirling within her violet irises. “Take me out. Tomorrow. For lunch.”

Beast Boy balked. “W-what?”

“You heard me.”

“O-okay,” he stammered, “I will.” 

Raven smiled. “Good. Now excuse me while I go throw up.” She hauled herself to her feet and staggered off, leaving behind a very, very confused Beast Boy. 

Well, he supposed today hadn’t been a total disaster… 

Here you go, anon! One silly tale of a drunk Raven mustering the courage to hit on BB! xD Enjoy! 

-mod vixensheart

[bexsbaxters]

MY AVENGERS AUS by yasmin-alliyah

(i might update these with new ideas and new ships idk) TONYT'CHALLA: princess lessons • in which tony has to suddenly learn the customs of the wakandan people as the prince escort and rhodey and sam are no help. be a pretty baby for daddy • in which tony is a poor college student who's drowning in debt and t'challa is the young rich prince of the small country of wakanda. robin hood • in which t'challa is the son of an international diplomat and he sees tonh shoving food into a velvet bag in the middle of a royal ball. RHODEYTONY: drive, just fucking drive ! • in which rhodey is an A* student who is infatuated with the scruffy, sleep-deprived brunette who manages to scrape every class. BUCKYTONY: smart ass with a nice ass (ft steve) • in which tony and bucky are rival cops who are put together to stop an evil mob boss with a preference for cute, sassy brunettes. all we wanna do is get high and listen to PARTY • in which bucky and tony are insufferable roommates who enjoy teaming up to antagonize their next door neighbor and occasionally get drunk to gossip about the other students. TONYNAT: rush hour • in which the highly trained russian cia agent has to drag her incompetent american counterpart around a highly delicate case. WANDANAT: red lipstick, rose petals, heartbreak • in which natasha is the gorgeous editor of vogue and wanda was her secret lover who had to go somewhere natasha couldn't find her. wrap your velvet heart around my jagged edges • in which natasha has strict religious parents and wanda is the traveller girl with the beautiful eyes that teaches natasha that not all sinful things are bad. TONYTHOR: knockout ! • the one where thor is a famous wrestler and tony is his manager who has a massive infatuation with him. loving him is a sin (but a sinner i am) • in which thor is the happily married (straight) man who lives next door to the depressed single writer. expect the twist • in which he was the golden boy and tony was just the shadow that followed him around. PIETROTONY: the ashes, shame and scorns • in which tony falls in love with the pretty, silver haired immigrant boy who sits outside his school and has many shocking stories to tell. TONYCLINT: aw, singlehood • in which it’s Nat’s wedding to Bruce and she keep shoving the boys into each other because they’re the only ones at the entire ceremony who are single. PETERTONY: we're adults we swear ! • in which peter quill and tony stark bond over microwaveable chicken nuggets and secretly pine for each other across the supermarket shelves. SAMTONY: scars to your beautiful • in which the boy with no name enters sam's support group and over the course of a month, sam falls in love slowly with the man with the brown eyes and sad smile. SAMBUCKY: text from your ex • in which sam and bucky are happily dating until bucky gets a text message from someone who really wants to fuck his life up. SAMSTEVE: draw me like one of your french girls • in which steve loves to secretly draw sam, sam secretly loves it and bucky wants to fight thor. american psycho • in which steve is a influential owner of a billion dollar corporation who has a dark secret and sam is the cop who's dedicated to bringing him down. SAMSCOTT: it's getting hot in here (so take off all your clothes) • in which sam and scott are firemen who have a game where they try to flirt with as many of the people they save that they can. SAMNAT: strawberry cappuccino • in which steve and bucky both have a crush on the gorgeous barista at starbucks but she only has eyes for their best friend. SAMCLINT: 4:00 • in which sam and clint are rogue cia agents who have to protect the famous son of the president of the usa before he becomes a victim of their ex director's schemes. SAMRHODEY: bitter always follows the sweet • in which sam and rhodey are going through their expensive honeymoon when an old 'friend' turns up, ready to wreak havoc. come fly with me • in which rhodey is young sam's supervisor who finds the the younger lad both annoying and endearing. RHODEYBRUCE: ciao adios • in which rhodey and bruce have to attend a science talk tour for 10 boring long ass speeches and they fall in love along the way. THORSTEVE: morning endeavours • in which thor and steve decide to do everything on steve's list of things to catch up with in the future and somehow they fall in love on the way. backalley boy • in which thor stumbles across a skinny boy getting beat up in an alley and saves him. STEVEPIETRO: sometimes the heart can see, what’s invisible to the eye • in which steve is in love with his girlfriend's twin who's coincidentally dating his best friend. throw in a crazy, quick wedding and a group therapy session and antics ensue. BRUCETONY: why am I preaching to this choir, to this atheist? • in which bruce is a strict preacher and tony is an openly gay actor who teaches him that some things that are sinful can feel virtuous. the ideology of butterflies • in which a forty year old man takes his much younger lover on a road trip as they seek to escape civilisation and societal rules. BUCKYPIETRO: the castle without colour • in which bucky is enamoured with his enigmatic next door neighbor pietro, who loved mysteries so much he became one. inhale, in hell there’s heaven • in which bucky lives across from an angel who's deadly, godly and beautiful all at once and he isn't quite sure how to feel about it. telepathy • in which bucky meets the most beautiful boy dancing under the strobe lights at a club. BROTPS & OT3/4/5 CLINTKATE: suck it up hawkguy • in which clint is stuck babysitting the spoiled heir of the bishop fortune, until something goes awry and it's up to clint, kate and lucky the pizza dog to save the day. southside • in which kate has fallen for her coffee-addicted psychology professor and a smitten america is trying to woo an oblivious riri whilst kamala observes their plight with amusement. CLINTNAT: budapest • in which natasha and clint get married, adopt a penguin and get shot at 67 times in the space of an hour, where's phil when you need him ?? CLINTTHORHULK: be back in a sex, -sec • in which thor, clint and the hulk visit asgard to find out who's been sending the avengers cryptic messages stating their inevitable doom. TONYCLINTTHORSTEVE: karaoke anyone ? • in which the group decide to hold a karaoke concert with the rest of the group which tony swears he'll win, but thor has a trick up his sleeve. SAMSTEVEBUCKY: i'm singing on the mic til my voice hoarse • in which sam is a famous r&b singer who is simultaneously sleeping with two members of the same world renowned boy band. THORCLINTSTEVE: sharing is caring boys • in which thor, steve and clint are found regularly bonding over their shared love for shitty coffee and natasha romanoff's rock band in wade wilson's shitty café. aww, fuck me • in which clint goes to a café every morning for cheap breakfasts as he can't cook for shit and this incredibly attractive couple are looking at him and oh shit, they sent over a coffee and their numbers. he's fucked. fix me up, daddy • in which clint stars as the 'i-did-something-super-embarrassing-please-don't-judge-me’ patient, thor is the completely baffled doctor and steve is the completely done nurse. TONYSTEVEBUCKYTCHALLA: they joined hands and the world ended. • in which the guys are all successful CEOs of important businesses and it seems that they all hate each other to the outside world but actually, they are all in a relationship. but what happens when a jealous ex lover finds out and threatens to expose them to the world ? I NEED SOMEONE TO WRITE ALL THESE !! message me if you're interested.

[mrmichaelchadler]

Penny Marshall: 1943-2018

To some, she was the co-star of one of the most popular sitcoms of its era and a familiar face/voice on any number of shows over the years. To others, she was a trailblazing filmmaker who became the first American woman to direct a movie that made over $100 million at the box office, a feat she would repeat for a second time just a few years later. Whichever side of the camera she was working on, Penny Marshall was a consummate entertainer who could handle everything from the broadest slapstick comedy to serious drama, and her passing today at the age of 75 from diabetes complications will hit hard with anyone who encountered her work over the years.

Born Carole Penny Marshall in 1943, she grew up in the Bronx with a father who directed industrial films and a mother who was a tap dancer. After attending the University of New Mexico for a couple of years, marrying and divorcing her first husband Michael Henry and having a daughter, Tracy, Marshall moved out to Los Angeles to try her hand at show business. After doing some commercials, she made her film debut in a bit part in “How Sweet It Is” (1968), a film written and produced by her brother Garry, who had already established himself in the business, working on shows like “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Over the next few years, she would make appearances in such films as the biker movie “The Savage Seven” (1968), the counterculture drama “The Grasshopper” and the cult comedy classic “Where’s Poppa?” (1970) as well as such TV shows as “Then Came Bronson,” “Love, American Style” and the immortal made-for-TV movie “The Feminist and the Fuzz” (1971). She auditioned for the role of Gloria Stivic on “All in the Family” but lost it to Sally Struthers (her then-husband Rob Reiner, who she married in 1971, did land the part of Mike Stivic).

Marshall's first big break came in 1972 when she was cast in the recurring role of Myrna, the secretary to Oscar Madison, during the last couple of years of the hit sitcom “The Odd Couple.” During and after the run of that show she turned up in any number of programs, including “The Bob Newhart Show,” “Banacek” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and was a regular on the well-reviewed but short-lived comedy “Paul Sand in Friends and Lovers.” In 1975, brother Garry was working on his enormously popular sitcom “Happy Days” and had written an episode involving a couple of Milwaukee brewery workers who served as dates for Fonzie (Henry Winkler) and Richie (Ron Howard); he decided to cast her and Cindy Williams, who had appeared opposite Howard in “American Graffiti” (1973), in the roles. The byplay between the two actresses was so apparent that Garry decided to spin the two characters off into their own series. That show, “Laverne & Shirley,” debuted in 1976 and was an immediate hit that lasted for eight seasons before going off the air in 1983 (with Marshall going it alone during the final season when Williams left due to a pregnancy). Sure, the show was pretty silly and inconsequential but Marshall and Williams threw themselves into the goofball material with such heedless glee, even the sternest of viewers couldn’t help but crack a smile every now and then.

While working on “Laverne & Shirley” as an actress, Marshall developed an interest in directing, helming four episodes of the series over the years as well as an episode of “Working Stiffs,” a little-seen 1979 sitcom that co-starred then-unknowns Michael Keaton and Jim Belushi. At a time when few women were granted the opportunity to direct major studio films, Marshall caught a break when she was hired to come in and take over the production of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” (1986) after director Howard Zieff departed shortly after filming began. The film, an action-comedy starring Whoopi Goldberg as an ordinary bank employee who becomes involved in international espionage after accidentally making contact with a British secret agent on the run from the KGB, is not especially memorable (other than the re-recording of the Rolling Stones hit that it was named after, as performed by Aretha Franklin and backed up by Keith Richards). But she managed to squeeze enough laughs out of the tired material (thanks to a game cast of comics like Belushi, Carol Kane, Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, her “Laverne & Shirley” co-star Michael McKean and Tracey Ullman, whose breakthrough TV variety series she would direct an episode of the next year), suggesting she might do even better if she lucked into a better script.

As “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” proved to be a moderate box-office hit, Marshall was given another chance to direct: “Big” (1988), the fantasy-comedy about a 13-year-old boy (David Moscow) who makes a wish on a mysterious carnival machine to be big and wakes up the next morning as himself, only in the body of his 30-year-old self (Tom Hanks). At the time that this film was made, there was a weird mini-wave of films in which teenagers inhabited the bodies of grown-ups and vice-versa, most of them focused exclusively on the gimmick in the broadest of comedic terms. The genius of “Big,” however, is that once she established the premise, Marshall took the story in a more realistic direction, as the now-grown kid finds herself thrown into the seemingly unfathomable worlds of corporate politics and adult relationships and reacting to them with a direct openness that was both disarming and charming. Instead of turning into the kind of grotesque or cynical fable it might have been in lesser hands, Marshall created one of the most genuinely winning fantasy films of the decade. She also helped supercharge the career of star Tom Hanks (who received his first Oscar nomination for his work here) and even inspired countless numbers of toy store visitors to emulate its most iconic scene by tapping out “Heart & Soul” on a giant keyboard, as Hanks and co-star Robert Loggia did at FAO Schwarz.

"Big" was a smash, the aforementioned first film directed by a woman to gross over $100 million, and put her in the position where she could pretty much make anything that she wanted. Although she was presumably offered countless comedies, her next film proved to be something entirely different. This was “Awakenings” (1990), a film based on the book by Oliver Sacks that told the story of a doctor (Robin Williams) who successfully administered the drug L-Dopa to a group of patients who had been catatonic for decades, and of one such patient (Robert De Niro) who first had to deal with waking up in a new time in which all of his loved ones are long gone and then with the gradual realization that his seemingly miraculous recovery is only temporary. Again, Marshall took supremely tricky material that might have been unworkable in other hands and found an emotional core that allowed viewers to relate to the story without cheapening it, and showed an increasingly deft hand with actors with the fine performances that she got from her two leads. The film proved to be a surprise success with audiences and received Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Actor for De Niro, although she was inexplicably passed over in the Best Director category.

Her next film, and arguably her best, was inspired by a 1987 documentary about the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League, a real-life women’s organization that was developed when Major League Baseball was threatened with a complete shutdown after America entered World War II. She put the makers of that film, Kelly Candaele and Kim Wilson, together with screenwriters Babaloo Mandel & Lowell Ganz to write what became "A League of Their Own." 

"A League of Their Own": Columbia Pictures

The film told of the league through the eyes of two sisters (Geena Davis and Lori Petty) who find themselves playing for the Rockford Peaches under the dubious managerial eye of Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks), a former star and current drunk who is nevertheless inspired by the team (whose players include the likes of Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell) to straighten up and lead them to the World Series in which the two sisters now find themselves playing on opposite teams. In telling a story that simultaneously serves as a comedy, an emotional drama about the conflict between sisters and a peek into history that had until then been all but forgotten, Marshall found herself spinning a number of narrative and emotional plates throughout and pretty much managed to make them all pay off in a movie that inspired plenty of laughs. And despite the fact that, to quote the most famous line, “There’s no crying in baseball,” the film earned its tears. Although a period film about women’s baseball might not have seemed like the basis for box-office success, the movie was one of the surprise hits of the summer of 1992, once again allowing Marshall to break the $100-million barrier. To cement its reputation as an instant classic, the movie was entered into the United States National Film Registry—ensuring its continued preservation—in 2012.

After the triumph of “A League of Her Own,” Marshall’s subsequent screen output proved to be somewhat less successful, both commercially and artistically, but she still had some interesting moments here and there: “Renaissance Man” (1994) told the story of a recently unemployed advertising executive (Danny DeVito) who found himself teaching basic literacy classes to a group of semi-literate recruits at a local Army base. The film is little more than a rehash of “Dead Poets Society,” but is perhaps somewhat notable for featuring the big screen dramatic debut from Mark Wahlberg; “The Preacher’s Wife” (1996) was a theoretically unnecessary remake of the holiday classic “The Bishop’s Wife” (1947) that featured Denzel Washington as a suave angel who appeared in New York to help a struggling pastor (Courtney B. Vance) and his wife (Whitney Houston) make a go of their church in the face of personal and financial difficulties. Although not a patch on the original, it proved to be reasonably entertaining thanks to the charming performances from the three leads (with Houston delivering arguably the best performance as an actress). Her final directorial effort, “Riding in Cars with Boys” (2001), told the inspirational true story of a woman who went from being a teen mother to eventually earning her master’s degree. The film contained performances from the likes of Drew Barrymore, Brittany Murphy, and James Woods that were engaging enough to make you forget how formulaic it all was.

Although her career in front of the camera during this time was largely limited to small roles, two appearances stand out: In “Hocus Pocus” (1993), the weird Halloween kids movie that has gone on to become a cult favorite for reasons that continue to elude me, she turns up alongside brother Garry as a married couple (see what I mean about it being weird) who are visited by the three witches who assume that he is the Devil and she is Medusa in one of the few scenes that demonstrates any real comedic invention. In Albert Brooks’s underrated satire “Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World,” she plays herself in a hilarious opening scene where she perfunctorily interviews Brooks (playing himself) for the lead role in a remake of “Harvey” and cannot quite disguise her complete lack of interest in him. Perhaps most notably, she has gone down in the history books as the first celebrity to lend their voice to a character on “The Simpsons,” playing the nefarious Babysitter Bandit in an episode meant to serve as the show’s premiere until technical difficulties caused it to run as the finale of that first season.

Besides her success as a filmmaker and as an actress, Marshall received a number of other accolades over the years. She received three Golden Globe nominations for her work on “Laverne & Shirley,” was one of the recipients of the Elle Women in Hollywood Icon Awards in 1997 alongside Meryl Streep, Jane Campion and Laura Ziskin and received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2004. In 2012, she published her memoir My Mother Was Nuts, in which she recounted her long and groundbreaking career as an actress and a filmmaker, thoughtfully filling that book with plenty of amusing anecdotes about the people she met along the way. It's a work that's as funny, charming, unpretentious, and entertaining as the woman who wrote it. 

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