#b) i'd have to let parents know i was doing that / they would then be involved; & see it....puts a real damper on things
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Hi! Is it true that your hymen will break/rip with like, the simpliest form of penetration? I know your can rip (i dont know if thats the right word sorry) it only by doing exercices and things like horse riding, and i know that i for some people their hymen doesn't change after penetration, but... im still curious, and don't know anyone besides you to answer that for me hahahha
Its because, like, i really want to buy a menstrual disc or a cup instead of having to buy pads every month. I'm a minor and unfurtunatelly kind of freak out my hymen will break and when i go see an ob-gyn that would be clear and my mom would somehow know? Omg now that im typing this thought its starting to sound so dumb lmao
And it isn't even like my mom would get mad at me? Is just that im ace and extremelly uncomfortable to have this tipe of talk with my parents. Having all of my sex ed being searched and studied by me and myself only. They don't talk about it :p
But yeaaah, how does it work? Please enlighten me qwq also if something i wrote sounded weird im sorry im not fluent hahah
Hi!
No. The hymen is literally just part of your vagina-It usually partially covers the opening of your vagina [though some people are born with it covering the entire opening of their vagina] and it can wear down with age but it does not "break" and it rarely tears at the simplest penetration.
It can tear, which usually causes no pain, and little blood. But it also stretches, like the rest of your vagina. There's a possibility it could tear but it's unlikely unless you're shoving something inside your vagina super hard.
Hymens can survive giving birth. As long as you're not violently inserting your menstrual cup/disk, you should be fine.
Let me be clear: if your hymen breaks enough to show and your OB/GYN sees it and tells your mom, your OB/GYN is a misogynist and a creep. It's their job to know that 1. hymen breakage can just happen sometimes and B. your hypothetical sex life is not your mother's business.
But this isn't me saying it can't happen. It's not a huge possibility but it's a possibility all the same. Hymens thin and can wear down over time, which can vary wildly from person to person. That can lead to tearing but you can hugely reduce that risk by being gentle and taking your time.
Having to tell your parents/your mom that you're using a menstrual cup/disc can definitely suck but you don't have to discuss anything sex related, Anon!
I'd say that trying out a menstrual disc/cup and seeing if it's more comfortable for you would probably be worth that.
This isn't stupid at all, btw. It's an understandable worry! And your english sounds fine! I hope this helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions. <3
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love my own like theatrical relationship to shakespeare which is a) being so slow to realize like "oh, i've loved theatre? everyone doesn't just feel this way & go 'of course acting onstage would fucking kick ass' & adore rehearsals and hanging around backstage and in greenrooms and changing and performing & etc?' never really occurred to me" and b) my response to most encounters w/shakespeare being "wha" when it comes to anything granular yet the relevance still in the spirit of things lol
namely one prominent example being i was an on campus college student where said campus has a shakespearean theater literally three blocks away, and we had like a freshmen orientation weekly class there doing shit with actors and checking out the theater, not to mention like punchcards to see four shows free (to write up about afterwards but yeah sure whatever) and this wherein also you always got student discount tickets And there were pwyw performances....kicked ass. i went there for shows so many times. i have never fucking known what tf is going on in any of the like dozen shows i saw there when a) audio processing can be tricky enough for real life modern vernacular parsing and b) sure am not used to ye old very stylized language nor any other qualities of shakespearean material so lots of times when i finally started to kind of acclimate to the language it would be like "oh wait that was the conclusion? ok. hoorayyyyy" like also c) You Have A Great Time Seeing Shakespeare Productions Anyways like again i loved going anytime. it's Theatrical and if people are just putting their damn backs into delivering and performing the material it's An Experience even if you're really not following lmfao. and i suppose one can read the text / familiarize oneself beforehand
also like my first and really one of my only like regular theatre performing experiences was my literature class in fourth grade doing a few scenes from julius caesar. i was so hype for getting cassius like one of the most prominent roles? a guy? an antagonist if you're caesar or dante??? oh Fuck yes. b/c of technical difficulties we got to perform it twice in a row when we did a field trip to some other school to perform our respective [scenes from various shakespeare plays] altogether. even back then i was way into it and cared about stuff like "we have like no Effects to make it that dramatic when we kill caesar. or like, non silent. bit awkward" and "also i like, don't know how to act and am just winging it. and of course, i'm also like 9" like in theory i do like to know How to do something vs trying to make it up myself. somewhat lol. a balance, who can argue w/that
beyond that there's also lots of things i just didn't quite realize "counted" lmfao like, when you're a theatre gay with a parent req'ing you go to church every week but you have a good time being in the choir....i was sure on those tenor harmonies & singing loud. and going relatively often to various live theatrical events, having an engaging enough time there, but also would've assumed anyone would be into it And that that's not really the same as actually being in them, of course. but that most of my firsthand experience was just sticking w/ballet for like a decade, and kind of live theatrical performance adjacency there. don't say shit, for years was effectively just like, an ensemble for the occasional performances, but even then it's like hoorayyy i Love rehearsing and being onstage and backstage and dealing w/costumes and coordination behind the scenes and shit. and eventually being like, a distinct individual character in shows, so despite again nobody saying shit you're still somewhat interpreting and doing whatever character work while also enjoying the bennies of [it's dance, so also it's choreographed]....even more clear like oh i love backstage and rehearsing and behind the scenes and onstage and putting together stage character makeup, and i don't mind tackling technical difficulties, and etc etc. didn't even necessarily have the reference like, idk, wouldn't / doesn't everyone feel similarly. classic ye old memory of like being idfk 7 or some shit simply getting to walk with classmates behind a backdrop to the opposite wing of a stage, and loving that lmao. combines a love for [backstage] and [secret passages] type deal lol, big fan of these elements
also in 7th grade doing a theatre/drama class for a few months and we couldn't really get like all this in depth extensive stuff b/c you know, intro course for like 8 weeks for rando middle schoolers, but idk it was just illustrative lmao like after julius caesar, us slapping together some kind of script and my getting to be this fun little theatrical(tm) antagonist guy again? feedback was "what was supposed to be happening" but could've stood to have learned that the enthusiasm and affinity i felt for acting onstage was perhaps indicative of enthusiasm and affinity for acting onstage rather than just, idk, the exact kind of baseline experience any & everyone would have lol. not that i would've necessarily had the chance to really do anything with that knowledge, but even now, ofc i don't particularly anticipate getting to use it, but it's great having that knowledge like ohhh i see. the entire time i've been huge into doing theatre with all these kind of adjacent & gently overlapping brushes with it. gotcha
#an issue with Figuring Out What I Like or Trying New Things; a) having to be driven everywhere#b) just not safe to be open with ''this is something i like doing''#c) things being worse for like [i like doing this performance i don't like that parents are in the audience / involved]#didn't try out for anything in middle school b/c a) nervous. no experience; it's middle school. i don't have a great time w/Peers.#b) i'd have to let parents know i was doing that / they would then be involved; & see it....puts a real damper on things#didn't try out for anything in college b/c by then it's like. i Really have no experience lmao even if i could do this myself#kind of only deterred by my same age roommate being A Theatre Person with that prior experience lol....#but then Shakespeare Theater Company Proximity & Everyone Getting Introduced Via That Class / another kind of tangential theatre experience#hell yes....thank you for all that you did. dunno what's going on in there but you truly have a great time#even just Readings are fun but again people Gotta put their back into it or it does become like [zzz]#anyways and in this day and age....would still like to have actual acting instruction. all an abstract idea. but i for sure Like To Know.#the Ideas / Knowledge of oneself & like ''oh that's smthing i super like actually'' or what all i'd even theoretically like to do / have...#value in such things. i love to Know i think it would be cool to have like a buttonsy digital / calculator type wristwatch too. e.g.#and for real besides me talking about myself the advice is yeah go to a fun shakespeare production#''knowing what the hell is actually going on'' is Not a priority / requirement. it'll be an enjoyable experience still#oh and i did have an achievement in having A Fan once lol. when i started getting standalone roles vs [class ensemble in the back] at one#point i got to have a cats (jellicle) inspired like purple sparkly arms/legwarmered elaborate facemakeupped role; fun in & of itself#but whomsoever came to this little like middle/highschoolers community production included some absolute randos i encountered in the hall#after whatever show where this like 8 yr old kid's dad was like ''she's your (the role) biggest fan can we get a pic''#like Of Course....so i pose with said kid. hell yeah babey i'm An Actor with A Role lol....fr it was fun so#even illuminating to piece together my affinity / comfort for concepts & zones like things Behind The Scenes / hidden or secret / Nighttime#being backstage or behind the backdrop to get to another wing or hanging out in an effective greenroom w/amicable parties & our roles....#oh and that naturally the abstract concept of acting has just always seemed fun. and not like that strange or difficult#someone talking abt being autistic & learning like ''oh having friends Isn't supposed to feel like you have to constantly be performing?''#like yeah same up til recent history lmao like. lot of ways to simply already have a bit of organic training in acting lol#would still want some more actual training though lol like how do you do this shit Actually....got the essentials in fourth grade (be loud)#fr we didn't have mics of course so it was all just up to us to say our lines loud enough. couldn't actually hear other scenes [pensive]
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finally made that list of things I want to do on my week-and-a-half off! It's mainly boring stuff: errands to run and super-early Christmas shopping and all that, or family stuff. My brain is complaining bc it's like "waaaah I just wanna spend a week on the couch playing video games!!" but I know from experience if I do that I'll feel like I wasted the week 😂 Also most of this stuff will only take a couple hours all told, I just decided to do it on my week off bc otherwise it'll be so hard to motivate myself to get out.
Last year when I took the week off I did a whole bunch of cooking and stocked up the freezer for a few weeks, which was a great idea, but since my holidays are right after Thanksgiving this year and the weather is still relatively warm, idk if I'll feel like cooking much. Still gonna try and stock the freezer up a bit tho!
(also yes I did get roped into doing work teambuilding on my week off. everyone got super hype for this VR room thing but then half the office was sick this week and there are people on vacation the next 3 weeks, so I caved and said I'd just meet them at the place. I have very little Get Out And Do Fun Things activities books anyways so I should just go and Have Fun. Not like I'd be paying for it...)
#was considering getting an airbnb and going into the mountains for a couple days but a) didn't want to spend the money and b)#as soon as my parents found out I'd booked the week off dad was like WELL IF MOM HAS ANY APPOINTMENTS THAT WEEK YOU WILL TAKE HER TO THEM!!#like....okay i *would* but could you at least ask nicely and let me know the time first??#anyway she has no appointments so it doesn't matter. i just hate being volun-told to do things lmao#im still worried about Time but i just need to make a real schedule. also a lot if the errands can be done literally tomorrow#i have to go out and get groceries for thanksgiving bc the store opens late Sun/Mon on long weekends so i can putter around a bit#also one whole day is written off bc dad is like 'i know your car appt is at X time but it might take ALL DAY for them to do it!!'#which i don't think will be the case lol
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Not His
Warnings: mentioned of forced pregnancy, birth control tampering, & terminating pregnancy, oral, blackmail, threats with a g*n, cheating, dark unhinged Rafe, all the trigger warnings!
The pounding on the door intensifies enough that JJ finally rolls off of you with a groan, leaving you aching and empty as he yanks on a pair of boxers and stomps off down the hallway. You bury your face in his pillow, inhaling the intoxicating scent of him when you hear an unmistakable voice that flushes away any traces of desire left in your system.
"Where is my wife?" The words are ground out with more anger and ownership than you can stand as you jump to your feet, wincing at the soreness there, and quickly yanking on a pair of JJ's boxers and a T-shirt from the surf shop.
"She wouldn't be your wife if you'd sign the divorce papers." JJ fires back as you emerge from the bedroom. His back is to you as he bars Rafe's entrance with his arm stretched across the door frame. Rafe's eyes lock on yours, narrowing into slits when he takes in your freshly fucked appearance. Both men tense as you approach and you quickly wrap your arms around JJ's narrow waist, loving the feel of his skin under your hands and the safety he offers.
"Y/N, if you're done playing Pogue Slut, it's time for you to come home." Rafe growls as you peek at him over JJ's shoulder. You tighten your hold when JJ tenses. You know he'd go to jail in defending your honor but that would give Rafe what he wanted.
"She's not leaving so stop looking at her." JJ warns, his voice low and his body ready to fight. Rafe's gaze snaps to JJ's, the vein in his temple throbbing with anger as the two men square off.
"You know she was fucking me as much as she did you, right? Do you think you'll have the means to provide for a child let alone afford to fight me when I demand a paternity test? Will you play daddy to my son?" Rafe smirks as JJ's hands ball into fists and he takes a step forward. Rafe's smile widens, flashing his bright white teeth as they stand almost chest to chest.
"Shut up, Rafe." You snap, swallowing the lump in your throat as anxiety sinks in. You never told JJ about having to perform your wifely duties on a daily basis with Rafe. You assumed he knew and wouldn't want to know about it.
"I never pulled out. Not once. She let me breed that pussy whenever I wanted and sucked the cum off my dick when I was done." A growl rumbles through JJ, his body trembling with restraint.
"Will you be there for her when I take my child away from her and she has no choice but to follow?" Rafe's voice lowers to a whisper, his eyes shining with victory from the seeds of doubt he's planted. Something snaps inside you at the picture he's painted. Before you've registered anything, you've grabbed the shotgun from behind the door and cocked it, aiming directly at Rafe's chest. His eyes widen in surprise but that stupid smile is still stretched across his smug face.
"Hit a nerve, did I? Don't want history to repeat itself?" Rafe taunts, pressing his chest firmly against the barrel. It was just like him to throw your shitty childhood and awful parents in your face.
"Baby.." JJ murmurs softly, reaching for the gun but you shake him off as you step out on the deck and force Rafe to back up with the gun to his chest.
"I was sneaking birth control the whole time, you idiot." You spat, jamming the gun harder against his chest, making him wince.
"Maybe I switched it out for fakes. Maybe you've been pregnant for weeks now and had no idea." The gun trembles in your hold. It's not surprising that he would try to trap you with a child so you could never leave.
"Maybe I had an abortion." You counter, finally seeing the smile fall from his face. "Maybe I didn't. Maybe I've also been taking Plan B as an extra reassurance to never bring any spawn of yours into the world. Maybe I'd rather die than stay married to you and live in that place." You'd taken a test right after moving in with JJ. You weren't pregnant. And if you were.. it sure as fuck wasn't Rafe's. But he didn't know that.
Rafe's Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, jaw clenched in anger.
"You're bluffing."
"So are you."
"Get the fuck out of here and don't come back until you've signed the damn papers." JJ pushes Rafe back, making him stumble down the steps as he glares at the both of you with enough hatred to start fires. Rafe didn't care about you. He cared about what this would do to his reputation and what people on Figure Eight would say.
"I'll never stop. You're coming back to me." Rafe declares, walking backwards towards his Rover before climbing in and slamming the door shut.
"I'll never go back to him." You state, watching him drive away as JJ gently takes the gun from your grasp. JJ cups your face, his eyes searching as tears fill your eyes. He wasn't angry or accusing.
"You'll never go back to him." JJ whispers, wiping your tears away with his thumbs and pressing his forehead to yours.
"Why aren't you angry?" You breathe, wrapping your arms around his waist as you fight to calm your racing heart.
"Because I love you and I don't care what you had to do to survive him." A sob breaks free and then you're kissing him as tears race down your cheeks.
"I wish I was your wife." You moan against his lips as he lifts you into his arms and carries you back inside.
"You will be." JJ promises, lowering you to the bed and yanking his clothes off your body.
"You'll have my ring. My name. My kids. Every part of you will be mine." JJ kisses his way down your body, positioning himself on his stomach between your parted thighs and licking a stripe through your slit, not caring that you're still full of him from earlier as your body bows off the bed.
"He'll sign or I'll kill him." JJ growls against your pussy, licking and tasting you with an intensity that has you seeing stars as you cry out. The thought of Rafe ceasing to exist shouldn't be such a turn-on..
"We can sign our marriage license in his blood if he wants to go that route." The orgasm crashes into you, tearing a scream from your lips as you squirt all over him and the bed.
"Fuck, JJ!" Your body shakes violently as he forces your legs back, bending you in half while continuing his feast.
"Goddamn, I love it when you do that, baby."
"We don't have a-any more c-clean sheets." You whimper, the pleasure becoming too much as he thrusts his tongue inside you and curls it to reach that sweet spot.
"Let me worry about that. You focus on cumming on my tongue before I fuck this greedy pussy again."
"Wait, wait, wait, no, I can't.. please baby!" You cry, fisting his hair as he presses his mouth firmly against your clit and sucks it into his mouth. Suddenly, three fingers enter your pulsing pussy, forcing you to scream as you cum harder than before. Everything seems to go black then he's coming down on top of you, burying his thick cock further than it's ever been with the position.
"That's right. Take all of me, baby." JJ grips your chin as he kisses you, swallowing your cries as he hammers into you, like you both hadn't already been at this for hours before Rafe interrupted.
"Do you want more of my cum, sweet girl? Is this pussy hungry for more?"
"Oh, my, god." You pant, digging your nails into his shoulders as his pace grows sloppy.
"I go by JJ, but thanks." JJ lets out a grunt, throwing his head back as he cums, cock buried deep as it throbs inside you. Your legs drop down to the bed and you groan in unison, bodies falling towards exhaustion. JJ leans in for a kiss, pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and stroke his messy hair.
"You're not his." JJ whispers, rolling your bodies so you're on top and he's still buried deep inside you.
"Not his." You murmur back, kissing him back as the threat of what's to come starts to form in the back of your mind like a big dark storm cloud.
Rafe wouldn’t stop until someone was dead.
You or him.
#smutwarning#outer banks smut#jj maybank smut#obx2#jj maybank fic#jj maybank imagine#rudy pankow#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x you#jj obx#rafe angst#jj mayback x reader#obx jj#outerbanks rafe#blueicequeen19#check your triggers#tw dark theme
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I've talked a lot about why you should vote AGAINST Trump. No fucking shit, right? But I want to vote FOR something, too.
Kamala Harris hasn't had time yet to put together her platform documents, though no doubt we'll see those in the coming days. But this is a good analysis of where she and Joe Biden stand - and Kamala is more progressive on every front.
Abortion rights: Joe would've restored Roe, but Kamala would expand it to prevent states from limiting access. The pre-clearance measure discussed here is a non-starter but I'd expect Kamala to be looking at how to frame the issue for another try.
Israel and Gaza: it's true that Kamala hasn't broken with Joe publicly about Gaza. However, the article goes on:
Harris hasn’t exactly broken with Biden over the issue. But she has expressed more public sympathy than Biden has over the tens of thousands of Palestinians who have died during Israel’s counterattack. In March, she was one of the earliest high-profile leaders in the administration to call for an immediate temporary cease-fire in March. She also delivered the sharpest rebuke against Israel’s handling of aid flows into Gaza and described the conflict as a “humanitarian catastrophe” for innocent civilians. And privately, she has told Biden and other top officials that the administration needed to take a stronger stance against Netanyahu and focus on a long-term peace to the decades-long conflict, people familiar with her remarks have previously told POLITICO.
Kamala has also declined to preside over the upcoming session of Congress that Netanyahu is speaking at, on invitation by Republicans. She wasn't scheduled to before this, but I think declining now is a clear indicator that her foreign policy will not include the broad support we saw from Joe.
Climte Change: Honestly, the Build Back Better bill was so fucking substantial and incredible I think Kamala would be hard-pressed to do much more. I think Kamala needs to have a solid response ready to the recent Supreme Court decision overturning Chevron, which is the biggest threat to the EPA and other agencies in our lifetimes. (Trump, by the way, would abolish the EPA and the vast majority of environmental protections.)
Student debt relief: She was more progressive earlier, and I expect we'll see many of Joe's relief packages continue expanding.
Similarly:
Free college: Kamala's in full support. I understand Joe's position that students from wealthy families should pay their own way, but I also know from experience that students from wealthy family not immune to financial abuse by controlling parents.
Trade: this is actually a great one to know, because Kamala's hesitance on these trade agreements are related to a) environmental concerns, and b) outsourcing American jobs. Republicans love to lose their shit over outsourcing American jobs. Here's more significance in the trade sphere:
This is going to be a HUGE talking point for your conservative-leaning relatives. Business leaders do not want Trump in office, because the agenda laid out in Project 2025 will make it harder for them to do business - it will make it harder for them to attract global talent, costlier to import and export, and stunt economic growth. Do you know that "undecided" voter who votes red for "fiscal responsibility?" This your talking point. Kamala's platform spends, but in such a way that it will stimulate economic growth and solidify the US as a business leader worldwide.
Artificial Intelligence: I'll let Kamala speak for herself.
“History has shown, in the absence of regulation and strong government oversight, some technology companies choose to prioritize profit over the wellbeing of their customers, the safety of our communities, and the stability of our democracies,” Harris said during her visit to the U.K. for November’s AI Safety Summit. Last July, during the early days of the White House’s mobilization on AI policy, Harris led a meeting among civil rights, labor and consumer protection groups where she rejected the “false choice” between promoting innovation and protecting the public.
The article also talks about data privacy, where Kamala and Joe are very similar, and animal welfare. Historically, Kamala defended animal welfare protections in CA, but remember that as Attorney General, Kamala's job was to defend the law no matter what her personal feelings were. Biden made some strides here, but many will agree not enough - I think this is a place where Kamala has to tread very carefully because progressives are in favor of more stringent animal welfare protections, but agricultural and rural voters are already a demographic inclined to view progressive agendas negatively, feeling forgotten, misunderstood, and passed over in favor of large cities. It's definitely a weakness for the Dems so I wouldn't expect to hear much about animal welfare as a voting issue.
IN SUM
I'm very happy to vote FOR Kamala, not just against Trump. I think she stands to take stronger action on abortion, stronger action on Israel and Gaza, stronger action on college and student debt relief. I think she'll continue work inherited on environmental protections and infrastructure. I think she will do more to protect LGBTQ+ individuals and unions, as well as standing strong on disability reform and criminal justice reform (yes, I know she was a prosecutor, and I also know that she worked on several important CJ reforms during her time as AG - here's an article about her progressive record as DA).
Remember, there's no such thing as a protest vote. The only people who benefit by third-party voting or choosing not to vote are the far-right.
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imagine if rafe and pogue reader’s relationship was just a bet between him and his kook friends, to see if he could ACTUALLY get her to fall in love with him, like to get her to be all over him and how long that would last, and the reader finds out omgggg. And they break up lol
you think the ending bits of the conversation between your boyfriend and his friends hurts more than everything you just overheard.
"you really think i'd settle for some fuckin' pogue pussy? nah man, top owes me fifty bucks now."
you hadn't heard the entire exchange, just from the part where you heard your name. stupidly, like a naive girl in love with the type of boy she'd only ever dreamt about, you tuned in, thinking rafe was telling his friends something you'd want to hear.
hiding—as embarassing as it is—behind the wall, holding back tears though they don't care enough to stay held back, they pour down your cheeks as the hits keep coming. the boys laugh, but the ringing in your ears had been so loud you hadn't heard the rest of the joke, didn't understand what was so funny.
the first thought in your mind is that you can't believe how stupid you were. the second is that pope and jj and john b had all been right, that it was too good to be true, that he was playing you somehow, that he was a liar and scumbag. you had ignored what your best friends had been telling you, trying so hard to believe that they were wrong, that they didn't know rafe, or at least your rafe, the one who was sweet and funny and never let you drive anywhere or pay for a thing, the one who paraded you around town like you were something who deserved to be showed off, the one who you took back to your tiny house and introduced to your hard-working parents.
you resist the urge to slide down the wall you're leaning against, though every muscle in your body wants to keel over and cry until you can't cry anymore.
you'd been embarassed enough—they didn't need to see you like this too. wiping away tears with the back of your hand, sniffling but trying to stay quiet, you wait for the boys to walk away so you could sneak out of here and pretend that you'd never even come—though you'd only come because rafe said he was having friends over and you'd baked them some snacks for their game, thought you were being a good girlfriend and doing the things a good girlfriend does.
footsteps and laughter echo in the other room—they're gone. the second it's silent, a sob wrangles itself out, eyes getting blurry again. you don't know how you're gonna bike home if you can't stop crying. your fingers fly across your screen, dialing jj's number. you'd been upset at the blond because he seemed to be the most against you and rafe dating, had the meanest things to say and was the first to insinuate there was something wrong if rafe wanted to date you.
you'd been so insulted, so hurt by his words that the two of you had gone from talking every single day to maybe once a week. you hope he doesn't hold it against you now, but a part of you knows jj never would—that's just the kind of guy he is. he answers by the second ring, and you try to stay quiet, just incase they hear you.
"j? can you come get me? i-um, i'm at tannyhill-" the last part is said with another sob, breaking into a fit of tears again. he says he's with pope and that he's coming, and you hate that they heard you cry, because knowing the two of them they'll go thirty over if they think you're upset. you wanna get out of here, but you don't want them to die.
heart thudding, eyes watery, limbs weak, you stay against that wall for a moment. before you can make your way to the door, rafe's figure steps in to where you are. he sees you before you see him—shoulders shaking, hands wiping away tears.
when you turn to look at him, it doesn't take more a second to know you heard something you shouldn't have.
"hey, listen to me-" he gets closer, and you flinch, backing away. you want to say something mean, something snarky, something that'll hurt him as much as he's hurt you. nothing comes out, and you stare back at him, and you hope he remembers how hard he's made you cry, because you've decided it then and there—you're never seeing rafe cameron ever again.
you dart past him to the door. he follows, reaching out to grab you, but you take off, running down his driveway and into the truck he recognizes as heyward's. you get in, in between pope and jj. the last thing he sees is you crying into maybank's chest while they drive you away, and the last thing he thinks is wondering what the hell he had just done.
#i actually dont like writing much angst so sorry if this sucks#this ask has been here for so long and i knew i could do something with it i just couldnt place it yet#<3 i love u jj#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader
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Mars in 1H & 7H Synastry: From My Experiences 🔞
Minors, do not interact. This one's not for you.
I know this is widely known with 1H Mars synastry, but it bears repeating: this is such an electric and sexy aspect to have!
...IF you like each other. But if you don't?
Especially if the attraction is one-sided? It is SO cringe. One of you could end up hating the other easily.
In fact, let me tell you two stories that show just how differently things can go with this aspect.
Positive 1H Mars Synastry
Guy A: Leo Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising & Venus
I have my Mars in his 1H and his Venus is in my 1H.
This a VERY physical aspect, so if you're the type who loves long hugs, hugs from behind, poking, nibbling, cuddling, kissing and a LOT of sex, even after YEARS together, then keep an eye out for this aspect.
Guy A was my boyfriend of 4 years and we broke up right around the time we would have been talking engagement and such. He was also my best friend for 8 years (which would be 15 years now if we hadn't stopped talking a year after the break up).
I was wildly attracted to this guy from day one. And vice versa! And when we finally got together? Literally could not stop touching each other. It was so funny at times. You know those annoying couples trying to hold hands, steer the cart, and pick stuff up all at once in the grocery store? Yeah, we were that couple. Typically, if I wasn't literally on his lap, I'd be under his arm or pretty much pressed up beside him somehow-and vice versa. Watching TV? Someone's head would be in the other's lap, someone's hands would be in the other's hair, or rubbing their arm or belly.
I remember the first time Guy A and I went on a cute lunch date, before we officially got together. Everyone was pointing and giggling at us because it was sooooo obvious we both couldn't keep our hands off each other at all. 😂
To this day, neither his parents nor mine can believe we didn't get married. We probably should have, tbh. Lol.
Negative 1H Mars Synastry:
Guy B: Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon & Rising, Aries Venus.
I also have my Mars in his 1H. (His moon is in my 1H).
Mars in 1st synastry in one-sided connections is the absolute worst because one of you is madly (VERY madly) in lust confused for love, and the other is perpetually annoyed but attached to the adrenaline rush from all the static, especially if life isn't otherwise exciting at the time.
Guy B was long-term frenemy who I did NOT like romantically and barely liked platonically. We met on a dating site and the conversation was great but from the 1st date in person, I was instantly turned off. All his mannerisms annoyed me, I wasn't attracted to him, and I didn't want him to touch me at all. My reflex was to pull away when he tried. He was extremely attracted to me for some reason despite this, and never let it go. Not even years later. He begged to stay friends when I declined a 2nd date and I was too nice back then so I reluctantly agreed.
Every time he touched me, I wanted to backflip into a volcano. A simple hug made me irrationally angry if he tried to linger half a second too long. It didn't help that he'd always complain about me giving "church hugs."
And before the men start carrying on about how he must have been short, yada yada yada... no, lol he's 6' 5" and fairly good-looking. Just didn't like him then and still don't now.
Our dynamic was always very aggressive, especially from my end. Even our mutual friends noticed that I seemed like a different person specifically around him and not in a good way. I was verbally combative and physically tense around him, even my voice sounded less soft and I was extremely sarcastic. I don't know if he's into girls who are normally like that or if his Aries Venus just liked the challenge, but that annoyed me even more. My dad met him once and immediately acted like he wasn't even there and my mom was like "Yeah, no, don't ever date each other because one of you won't make it out of that alive, it's very obvious."
She's definitely not wrong, our entire "friendship" was a strange anomaly defined around me being perpetually annoyed that he existed but also finding entertainment in all the toxicity and him pretending not to notice that Id happily sell him to the devil for a bag of chips and continuously convincing himself that I secretly liked him.
I told him multiple times he was free to react like a normal human being and not talk to me and his response was, "Eh, I know but somehow even though I hate arguing, I don't really mind arguing with you. Like I hate it but at the same time, it's you. I'm used to it now."
Idk to say about that but yeah, there you have it folks. The moral of the story is: there are always two sides to a coin 😂
Synastry is something that can go two (if not more) ways. No placement or aspect is ever guaranteed to be positive or negative, though some skew one way or the other. If they were, we could all find our perfect matches just by picking birth charts out of a jar and studying them. Be mindful and listen to what your heart and gut tell you and then use your head.
All that being said though, can I talk about 7H Mars synastry for a sec? GOSH I LOVE when someone's Mars is in my 7H.
Mars in 7H Synastry (Positive)
Guy C: Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Rising, Aries Venus
He has Capricorn Mars in my 7H and my gawd. So intentional. This was eons ago. Technically my second boyfriend, but this was the first serious boyfriend who I had all my first times with. The moment my very own McSteamy decided he wanted to date me, there was no long drawn out "should I, shouldn't I, she loves me, she loves me not" - none of that wishy-washy shit. He strolled right up to me and said, "Look, you're allowed to say yes, no, or "get lost, fool" -whatever you want. And I know this may seem a bit soon, and to be honest when I first met you, I didn't know what to think, you kinda seemed like a miss-goody-two-shoes type. But getting to know you for a couple months? I realize you're actually quite a rebel and adventurous like me, but also smart and know how to lay low and play a character when you need to. Anyway, I'd really like to kiss you, but I'm gonna ask you to be my girlfriend first, so let me know."
Well, hell I said yes before he was even done talking and he picked me right up and kissed me against the wall. That was my first kiss too, and a great memory. I love direct people who know what they want, aren't scared to take a risk and are comfortable taking the lead, especially when it's a relationship. That's a Capricorn Mars right there. With Capricorn moon in my 7H that was literally like hitting the jackpot- except I was so young. He was 8 years older than me and ready to settle down. I was just about to fly the nest and see the world and he was kind enough to realize this and not hold me back when I decided to leave.
I will say this placement is excellent if you're sure about wanting a family, kids, and the whole white picket fence thing. I made the right choice as I'm still childfree by choice now and would rather live a semi-nomadic life, working and traveling the world with someone who is the same kind of crazy as me.
I'm not sure if I've experienced any negative Mars 7H house synastry. There are so people I've connected with whose birthdays I've either forgotten or didn't ask for, so I don't have their charts. Of the charts I do have, Guy C is the only one I have this aspect with. I haven't quite felt the same 100% confident, 'all-in' relationship energy from anyone else.
I am curious about how the negative side of this would go, so if any of you have had bad experiences with Mars 7H synastry and want to share, let's meet in the comments 😹
#astrology observations#relationship astrology#synastry observations#astro notes#astrology#astrology signs#astrology blog#astro observations#astrology tumblr#astro posts
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the boy is mine ─ rafe cameron; chapter one
summary: you were an erudite kook with her life ahead of her, very highly sought after by almost every man from figure 8 all the way to the cut. but you only wanted rafe cameron, and just in the typical nature of getting everything you wanted, you were going to have him.
warnings: none in this chapter
author's note: as always if you'd like to be on the taglist for this series at anytime, please let me know! also, there will be some made up characters in this story for plot purposes.
"There's no way I would go to Midsummers with that freak," your derisive laughter erupted through the library before you halted to take a sip of your tepid iced coffee as its coldness faded, "I'd show up alone before I embarrassed myself like that."
"C'mon, he isn't that bad, y/n. I think he's actually pretty cute if you ask me," your friend, Sadie, nudged you teasingly, wiggling her eyebrows comically.
"You're forgetting the part where he's a Pogue, Sadie. I do have some self respect, you know."
Sadie rolled her eyes, her smile still teasing but with a hint of exasperation. "Sometimes you care too much about what other people think, you know that?"
You sighed, swirling the last bits of melted ice in your cup. "It's not just about what people think. It's about standards, Sadie. I've worked too hard to get where I am to throw it all away over some fling with a guy from the Cut."
Sadie leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "Maybe it's not about throwing anything away. Maybe it's about seeing people for who they are, not where they come from."
You opened your mouth to retort, but the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch period. The library's chatter died down as students gathered their things, heading off to their next classes. You and Sadie stood up, collecting your bags and discarded coffee cups. As you walked out into the bustling hallway, you couldn't shake the thought of him—the Pogue in question. John B Routledge. There was something about him that got under your skin, and not just in an annoying way. He was different, and that intrigued you, even if you'd never admit it out loud.
"Are you going to the bonfire tonight?" Sadie asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You shrugged. "Maybe. Depends if I finish my essay for English. You?"
"Of course I am, you should come! Live a little, y/n," Sadie insisted, her enthusiasm infectious.
You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. "We'll see," you said noncommittally, but you both knew that Sadie had a way of persuading you into things you normally wouldn't consider.
As you parted ways, heading to your respective classes, you couldn't help but glance over your shoulder, half-expecting to see him there, with that easy grin and messy hair. You shook your head, pushing the thought away.
After school, you found yourself back in the quiet sanctuary of your room, trying to focus on your English essay. The sun was setting outside, casting a warm golden glow through your window. You sighed, tapping your pen against your notebook. The words on the page blurred as your mind wandered back to the day's conversation.
"Live a little."
Sadie's words echoed in your mind, but you couldn't shake the nagging doubt. You had always prided yourself on maintaining high standards—standards that didn't include dating someone like John B. He was charming, sure, but he was also a Pogue, and the class divide in your town wasn't something you took lightly. It wasn't just about status; it was about everything you had worked for, everything you stood for.
You leaned back in your chair, staring at the ceiling. Your parents had always taught you the importance of striving for more, of associating with people who could elevate your standing. Dating a Pogue, especially one as infamous as John B, seemed like a step backward.
But then there was the memory of his smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, and the infectious laughter that seemed to make the world a little brighter. There was an undeniable attraction, a pull that you couldn't quite explain. You shook your head, reminding yourself why it was important to stick to your standards.
"I do have some self-respect, you know."
You muttered the words to yourself, trying to reaffirm your decision. But as the evening wore on, you couldn't help but feel a little trapped by your own expectations.
Just as you were about to dive back into your essay, your phone buzzed, pulling you out of your thoughts. It was a message from Sadie: "Bonfire starts at 8! You better be there!"
You stared at the text for a moment, biting your lip. Maybe, just maybe, Sadie was right. Maybe it was time to let go of some of those rigid standards and see where the night took you. You asked yourself, what was the harm in one night of fun?
With a sigh, you closed your laptop and headed to your closet, rifling through your clothes for something suitable to wear. As you pulled out a casual baby blue sundress, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. "Live a little," you muttered to your reflection, echoing Sadie's words.
By the time you arrived at the bonfire, the beach was already alive with music, laughter, and the warm glow of the flames. The salty breeze played with your hair as you made your way across the sand, the sounds of waves crashing mingling with the chatter of your peers. You spotted Sadie almost immediately, her bright smile and waving hand a beacon in the crowd.
"Y/n! You made it!" she cheered, pulling you into a hug that smelled of sunscreen and coconut.
"Yeah, yeah," you laughed. "I'm here. Now what?"
"Now we have fun," Sadie declared, handing you a drink that sparkled under the string lights hung haphazardly between the palm trees. She led you toward the fire where the heat radiated warmly against the cool night air.
You found yourself standing at the fire, gazing at its burning flames as you felt the stares of everyone around you, right on you. The heat from the fire radiated against your skin, a stark contrast to the cool night air. You took sips of your drink hazardously, knowing that at the end of the day, you still had to keep yourself composed in front of everyone.
The laughter and chatter around you seemed distant, almost like a background hum to your own thoughts. You could feel the weight of expectations pressing down on you, a constant reminder of the standards you had set for yourself. You had always been the one who held it all together, the one who never faltered.
As you took another sip, the drink's coldness a fleeting relief, you glanced around the bonfire. Your peers were engrossed in their conversations, but every so often, you caught a pair of eyes flicking in your direction, a whisper exchanged. It was as if they were all waiting to see what you would do next, how you would handle stepping out of your carefully curated box.
Suddenly, snapping you out of your gaze was the sound of a familiar voice approaching with a kind "hello." You snapped your head in the direction of the voice, before realizing it was none other than Sarah Cameron. You met her early in the school year when she joined Honors Society with you and Sadie. The three of you clicked pretty quickly, but you never saw her much outside of school.
Sarah grinned, her eyes sparkling in the firelight. "I could say the same about you. I didn't think I'd ever see the y/n at a party like this."
You laughed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. "Yeah, it's not exactly my usual scene."
Sarah's smile widened. "Well, I think it's great. Sometimes it's good to shake things up a bit. How are you liking it so far?"
You glanced around, feeling the cool breeze and the warm sand under your feet. The sound of distant laughter and music playing flooded your ears, giving you a rush of adrenaline as the alcohol you had been drinking took its effect. "It's surprisingly kind of fun," you admitted, "I don't mind it so far."
As Sarah began to respond to you, she was suddenly cut off as she was spun into the air by a figure behind her. Your eyes widened as you watched the boy kiss her before gently setting her back down onto the sand.
A look of amusement draped across your face as you smirked at her, your eyes flickering between the two of them. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Sarah!" Sadie joked, teasing her lightheartedly. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Sadie."
Topper grinned, extending a hand to Sadie. "Nice to meet you too, Sadie."
"I'm y/n," you spoke up after Sadie finished. Topper's eyes snapped over to you as he greeted you back with a genuine smile.
"It's nice to meet you guys. I never get to meet many of Sarah's friends; sometimes I wonder if they think I'm not real or something." He chuckled, taking a swig of his Michelob Ultra.
"Well, now we know you're not just a myth," you said with a grin. "It's nice to finally meet you, Topper."
Sarah giggled in response to your joke, which also earned a head shake from Topper. "I like to leave people guessing," Sarah shrugged, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
Topper laughed, wrapping an arm around Sarah's shoulders and pulling her close. "Keeps things interesting, right?"
You smiled at their playful banter, feeling the warmth of their affection for each other. "Definitely keeps things interesting."
Sadie leaned in, her curiosity piqued. "So, how did you two meet?"
"She's actually my best friend's sister, so we sort of just met because of him," Topper admitted with a grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "I didn't know you had a brother, Sarah?" you inquired, your curiosity piqued as you took another sip of your drink, the cold liquid sending a pleasant shiver down your spine.
Sarah sighed, her gaze flickering over to Topper with a mixture of annoyance and affection. "Unfortunately, I do. He's my older brother, Rafe."
You tilted your head, observing Sarah's words carefully. There was a hint of something in her tone—disdain, maybe even a touch of resentment—but you didn't want to probe further. Whatever the dynamic between Sarah and Rafe, it seemed like a topic best left untouched for now. You nodded in response, deciding to steer the conversation in a lighter direction.
"Is he hot?" Sadie spoke up, her curiosity piqued as she glanced between you and Sarah.
Sarah's eyes widened, caught off guard by the sudden question. She shot Sadie a look of mock indignation before bursting into laughter. "Seriously, Sadie? That's your first question?"
Sadie shrugged, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Hey, I'm just trying to get the full picture here."
Sarah rolled her eyes, but there was a fondness in her expression that belied her exasperation. "He's very cocky if that answers your question," she said, her tone tinged with amusement.
Sadie grinned, clearly enjoying the playful banter. "Well, I can work with cocky. Confidence is sexy, after all."
You laughed, shaking your head at Sadie's unabashed flirtation. "You're incorrigible, Sadie."
She shrugged, flashing you a playful wink. "Just keeping things interesting."
"Wait," Sadie paused, her hand reaching out to gently halt you and Sarah, her eyes alight with curiosity. You and Sarah turned to face her, the flames of the bonfire casting dancing shadows on the sand around you.
"Does that mean he's here, too? You know, since his best friend is here and all," Sadie asked, her gaze flickering towards Topper, who was lounging nearby, a relaxed grin playing on his lips as he watched the conversation unfold.
"Yeah, he's here, somewhere," Topper replied with a casual shrug, taking another sip of his drink, the condensation leaving tiny droplets on the bottle's surface.
The mention of Rafe's presence sent a ripple of tension through the group, a silent acknowledgment of the complicated dynamics at play. You exchanged a meaningful glance with Sarah, a mixture of curiosity and apprehension flickering in your eyes, the crackling of the fire providing a soothing backdrop to the unfolding drama.
"There's no way you're trying to make a move on my brother right now," Sarah joked, a playful scoff escaping her lips as she glanced at Sadie, her eyes dancing with amusement.
Sadie shrugged, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she took a gulp of her drink, the ice clinking softly against the glass. "Well, you've intrigued me, so now I wanna see what he looks like."
"I mean, I can go find him if you want," Topper suggested, joining in on the banter with a playful grin.
"Top, no I—" Sarah began, but Sadie cut her off, her excitement palpable as she interjected, "Please!"
Topper chuckled at Sadie's enthusiasm, pushing himself up from his lounging position with a dramatic sigh. "Alright, alright. Just don't say I didn't warn you."
As Topper wandered off into the crowd in search of Rafe, you couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation building in the air. What would Rafe be like in person, away from how Sarah spoke of him? It was a question that lingered on the edge of your mind, waiting to be answered.
As you waited for Topper to return, the crackling of the bonfire seemed to grow louder, the flames casting flickering shadows on the sand. The night was alive with possibility, and you couldn't help but wonder what other surprises it had in store.
"I can't believe this is happening," Sarah groaned, her voice tinged with resignation as she rubbed her temples, a sense of dread creeping over her at the situation that was waiting to unfold.
"Oh, come on, Sarah, we were gonna meet him sooner or later!" Sadie nudged at her, a playful glint in her eyes as she teased her friend.
"I was hoping to keep him as far away from my friends as possible, actually," Sarah admitted with a rueful smile, her shoulders slumping in defeat as she resigned herself to the inevitable encounter.
Surprisingly, as the anticipation grew, you couldn't help but feel nervous yourself. Excitement fluttered in your stomach like a flurry of butterflies as you waited to see the mystery that was Rafe Cameron, Sarah's brother. You wondered if he was the typical older brother type—overly cocky and thinking he was better than his siblings, maybe even a little overbearing. You weren't entirely sure what to expect or even what he might look like, and all you could do was wait.
The crackling of the bonfire seemed to grow louder, the flames casting dancing shadows on the sand as the night stretched on. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, the anticipation building with every heartbeat.
Finally, you spotted Topper making his way back through the crowd, a familiar figure trailing behind him. Your heart skipped a beat as Rafe came into view, his confident stride and piercing blue eyes immediately capturing your attention. He was taller than you had imagined, his presence commanding and magnetic as he approached.
Before you could dwell on it any longer, Rafe was standing before you, a cocky grin playing on his lips as he looked you over. "I heard there was a party going on over here," he said, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down your spine.
You felt a rush of adrenaline as Rafe's gaze locked onto yours, his presence filling the space between you with an undeniable intensity. Despite the nervous flutter in your stomach, you couldn't help but be captivated by his confidence and charm.
"There's definitely a party," Sadie chimed in, a mischievous smirk plastered on her face as she stepped forward, extending her hand towards Rafe. "I'm Sadie, by the way."
Rafe's gaze shifted to Sadie, his cocky grin widening as he took her hand, giving it a firm shake. "Rafe," he replied smoothly, his voice dripping with charm. "Nice to meet you, Sadie."
You could tell Sadie was entirely encapsulated by him as she stared up at Rafe like he was a Renaissance painting of some sort. Her eyes sparkled with admiration, and you couldn't help but chuckle to yourself at her unabashed gawking, which you assumed didn't go unnoticed by Rafe.
As you stood in the circle with the group, quietly observing the interaction, you took a small sip of your drink, trying to mask your amusement. Much to your dismay, Rafe's eyes ventured away from Sadie and landed on you, making you the center of attention in the moment.
"And you are?" Rafe's voice was smooth and confident as he directed his attention towards you, his piercing gaze locking onto yours.
You silently gulped at his question, feeling a rush of nerves coursing through you as you took in a deep breath before responding, "I'm y/n. One of Sarah's friends."
As you spoke, you tried to maintain a calm and composed demeanor, but you couldn't shake the feeling of being under Rafe's intense scrutiny. It was as if he could see right through you, peeling back the layers to uncover the truth beneath. Despite your best efforts to remain unaffected, you couldn't deny the magnetic pull of his presence, drawing you in with every passing moment.
He nodded, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he subtly looked you up and down, a gesture that didn't escape your notice. Heat rushed to your cheeks, leaving you feeling flustered, though you couldn't tell if it was the liquor or the way Rafe was eyeing you that caused it.
"I haven't met any of Sarah's friends, seeing how she's always stuck up Topper's ass," he joked dryly before taking a swig of his beer, his smirk lingering on his lips.
Sarah scoffed and rolled her eyes at him, clearly not amused by his comment. "I don't introduce you to them because you'd probably try to sleep with them," she retorted, her tone laced with sarcasm and exasperation.
You couldn't help but chuckle nervously at the siblings' bickering, feeling a mix of amusement and discomfort as you found yourself caught in the middle of their dynamic. The tension between them was palpable, but the only thing you felt you could do to ease your own nerves was to continue taking sips of your drink and observe the conversation unfolding.
Luckily for you, Sadie spoke up again, her voice breaking through the awkward tension like a ray of sunshine. "How old are you, Rafe?" she asked, her curiosity evident in her tone.
"I'm 19," Rafe replied, turning his attention back to Sadie with a casual shrug.
"So you're in college?" Sadie pressed on, her curiosity piqued.
Rafe shrugged nonchalantly, a hint of indifference in his demeanor. "Eh, not yet. Didn't feel like going from 12 years of school straight to more school," he explained, his tone casual as he took another sip of his beer.
"Yeah, I get it, I wouldn't want to either," Sadie replied, her tone casual as she shrugged, but you couldn't help but give her a puzzled look. Sadie was an honors student, just like you. Her entire life seemed dedicated to keeping good grades and maintaining perfect attendance at school, and all she ever talked about was wanting to get into Yale. You could see right through her act, realizing she was only dumbing herself down to appear more interesting to Rafe, which made you cringe.
"Oh, so you're taking a gap year?" Rafe asked, his tone curious as he looked at Sadie.
You chuckled in response, shaking your head as you looked down at your drink, feeling a mix of amusement and discomfort at the situation. "Yeah, I'm sure Yale will accept that," you mumbled under your breath, unable to hide your skepticism.
Rafe's eyes shot over at you, confusion evident on his face at your remark. "Well… I don't know what I'm doing yet, okay?" Sadie replied defensively, shooting you a glare with wide eyes, silently pleading with you not to embarrass her in front of Rafe.
"I take it that you're one of those honors students," Rafe implied, his gaze shifting between you and Sadie as he sipped his beer, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.
Sadie laughed nervously, swaying slightly as she tried to keep her composure. "Yeah, but it's not a big deal. It's not like I make it my whole personality," she replied, her words slightly slurred from the alcohol.
"Sadie, all you talk about is wanting to get into Yale," you interjected, unable to hold back your frustration any longer, feeling annoyed at her facade and wanting nothing more than to call her bluff.
Sadie's eyes widened in alarm as she shot you a pleading look, silently urging you to drop the subject. But it was too late—the truth was out in the open, hanging in the air like a heavy cloud.
Rafe raised an eyebrow, his gaze shifting between you and Sadie with renewed interest. "Yale, huh? That's ambitious," he remarked, his tone neutral as he took another sip of his beer.
Sadie laughed nervously again, her movements slightly jerky as she rubbed her arms uncomfortably, nodding at Rafe. "Yeah, it's just something my parents have always wanted for me, I guess," she admitted, her gaze falling to the floor as she shifted uneasily under Rafe's neutral demeanor.
Rafe's gaze lingered on Sadie for a moment before turning to you, his expression unreadable. "What about you? What do you plan on doing?" he asked, his tone casual but his eyes searching. You blinked in surprise, caught off guard by the sudden question. Glancing around to make sure he was actually speaking to you, you felt a wave of shock wash over you.
"Uh, well..." you stammered, feeling the weight of Rafe's gaze bearing down on you. "I'm going to Princeton in the fall." As the words left your lips, you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at the realization that you had finally vocalized your plans for the future. It was a decision that had taken months of careful consideration and countless hours of deliberation, but now that it was out in the open, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you.
Rafe's eyebrows shot up in surprise, a flicker of intrigue dancing in his eyes as he regarded you with renewed interest. "Princeton, huh?" he remarked, his tone neutral but his expression curious.
You nodded, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you met Rafe's gaze head-on. "Yeah, it's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember," you admitted, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect of finally pursuing your goals.
Rafe nodded slowly, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he turned his attention back to the group. "Well, congratulations," he said, his tone genuine as he raised his beer in a silent toast. "Here's to chasing your dreams."
You watched intently as Rafe raised his beer to toast you, a hint of curiosity flickering in your eyes as you observed his casual demeanor. There was something intriguing about him, a magnetic charm that drew you in despite your reservations. You couldn't help but wonder if he was putting on a show or if he was always like that—confident, carefree, and unapologetically himself.
As Rafe tilted his head back to chug the remnants of his beer, you found yourself studying him intently, trying to decipher the enigma that was Rafe Cameron. His easygoing mannerisms and effortless charm seemed to mask a complexity that you couldn't quite put your finger on, leaving you feeling both intrigued and apprehensive in equal measure.
Once he was done chugging his beer, Rafe nonchalantly tossed the empty bottle across the sand into a nearby trash can before sparking up a conversation with Topper. You couldn't help but admire his ease and confidence, wondering if you would ever be able to exude that same level of self-assurance.
Beside you, you could feel Sadie's embarrassment radiating off her in waves, and you couldn't help but feel partially guilty and at fault for it. But deep down, you knew that you couldn't stand when people dumbed themselves down for attention, even if it meant putting your friendship on the line. Sure, Sadie was your best friend, but that gave you all the more reason to keep her in check and hold her accountable for her actions.
As you stood there with your drink in hand, you found yourself once again trying to figure Rafe out. His presence seemed to fill the space around him, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. You couldn't help but admire the way the firelight danced across his tanned skin, accentuating the sharp angles of his jawline and the intensity of his sparkling blue eyes. It was as if he had a magnetic pull, leaving you feeling captivated and entranced in his presence.
The sound of his low-pitched voice sent shivers down your spine, each word resonating deep within you as though you could listen to him talk for hours on end. There was an air of mystery surrounding him, a sense of danger that only served to heighten your fascination with him. He was somewhat intimidating, but that only made him all the more attractive to you.
Despite the unease you felt at being drawn to someone like Rafe, you couldn't deny the butterflies that fluttered in the pit of your stomach whenever he was near. There was something about him that ignited a fire within you, a desire to know more, to experience more of him in any way you could.
Just as you began to mull over your thoughts, an idea sparked in your mind like a sudden burst of fireworks, causing you to perk up with newfound enthusiasm. "Hey, Sarah, why don't we make plans soon? We never get to see each other outside of school," you suggested, a glimmer of excitement twinkling in your eyes.
Sarah's face lit up at your proposal, her expression mirroring your own excitement. "Yeah, sure! That sounds like a great idea," she exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. "Why don't you come over tomorrow, and we can go swim at my place?"
Your heart raced with anticipation as you considered her offer. It was the perfect opportunity to spend quality time together and perhaps even devise a plan to encounter Rafe again. "That sounds amazing!" you replied eagerly, a devious smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
Sarah beamed in response, her excitement palpable as she nodded enthusiastically. "Great! How about around 5? That should give us plenty of time to have some fun," she suggested, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
You nodded eagerly, unable to contain your excitement at the prospect of what tomorrow might bring. "Sounds perfect. I'll be there," you exclaimed, already counting down the minutes until your rendezvous with Sarah.
As the conversation around you continued its lively cadence, you found your gaze drawn back to Rafe like a moth to a flame, his presence casting a magnetic allure that was impossible to ignore. Amidst the laughter and chatter, your mind wandered to the possibilities that lay ahead now that you were growing closer to Sarah. Each glance in Rafe's direction ignited a spark of anticipation within you, like the gentle flutter of a butterfly's wings in the pit of your stomach.
Lost in reverie, you allowed yourself to drift into a realm of daydreams, where the boundaries of reality blurred and the realm of possibility expanded infinitely. In this ethereal landscape, you envisioned a tapestry of adventures unfolding before you, each more enchanting than the last. The mere thought of what could transpire filled you with a sense of exhilaration, like the rush of wind through autumn leaves or the soft whisper of waves lapping against the shore.
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
taglist: @yawnzshit
#rafe cameron#drew starkey#rafe cameron x reader#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron imagine#rafe angst#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe fic#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe
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tour guide 🎥
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!actress!reader
type: instagram imagine, social media au
notes: saw the post abt apex filming at silverstone this week and got this idea lol lmk what u guys think! atp you already know who my fc is (it's hailee steinfeld 😝)
about: a well-known actress stars in a film that is set in the world of formula 1 and scuderia ferrari happens to be the leading team to guide the production team and its cast!
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, madelyncline, and 1,249,247 others
yourusername Film prep starts now. Currently glad my parents forced me into getting my driver's license as early as I could as well as my brother introducing me to Formula 1 years ago 🏁
Beyond excited for this movie!
allhailyn WE LOVE U QUEEN WE CANT WAIT
filmthusiast this is such a new role for her im so excited
f1lover film + f1 is always going to be the biggest bestest combo ❤️
lecsluv LMAOOO NOT CHARLES LIKING THIS
zendayyn mans a fan norrisbaby Oh hes quick 😆
yourusername recently added to her instagram story!
yourusername recently added to her instagram story!
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, pierregasly, and 1,482,2058 others
yourusername 3/4 done with filming for First Gear 🤍 So much work has been done for this movie and it's been the good kind of overwhelming so far. I've learned so much and experienced so many new things.
Included the one and only charles_leclerc here because majority of the things I learned came from him. He's pretty nice except he was beyond nervous when I drove the car for the first time.
scuderiaferrari We're glad to know Charles was the best tour guide ever! ❤️
lecsmmylove NOT FERRARI STICKING WITH THE TOUR GUIDE DESCRIPTION???
hamilfilm charles leclerc making his way into y/n's official ig account is not something i have on my bingo card
popgirltay u guys r so cute <3 friendship goals!
livelovelecs no, dating announcement next LOLOL
charles_leclerc Why do I seem like the bad guy here, I taught you pretty well didn't I?
yourusername I didn't say you were a bad teacher 😕
charles_leclerc
liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, and 1,102,358 others
charles_leclerc Everyday's karting day 🚘
lecsferrari the red nails??? sir u aint slick who is that
sainzmclaren It's Y/N 😭 She posted karting pics today too
yourusername What do you have to say for yourself that you lost?
charles_leclerc I let you win, jolie 😁 Pretty. ferarrimercs HE CALLED HER PRETTY?????
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, kendall, and 1,395,299 others
yourusername The student has become the teacher 😎
charles_leclerc Anyone would win if they were fighting kids on track
yourusername I sense sore loser 😝
leclercsyn TOO CUTE IM GONNA COMBUST
scuderiaferrari ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, florencepugh, and 2,034,551 others
yourusername Feeling so emotional that filming for a movie that holds a special place in my heart has come to an end 🤍 I am so ecstatic for all of you to see First Gear because everyone involved put everything they had for this film. I hope you guys love this as much as I do, possibly more.
So many people to thank — the directors, producers, scriptwriters, my co-stars, everyone who's worked so hard to make this into reality, I owe you all so much.
But I also never thought I'd meet someone so special. Charles, this past year for us have been so crazy and I'm glad I got to spend it with you. If it helps, the moment they told me you would be giving me a tour of the paddock, I fell instantly 😝
leclercsyn MY PARENTS AAAAA IM SCREAMING
scuderiaferrari We are so proud of you, Y/N ❤️ The whole team is waiting for the movie!
charles_leclerc What do you mean if it helps, I was literally sweating while telling you what a pitwall is
lecslover HES SO FUNNYHTBHRHB
charles_leclerc
liked by landonorris, ynleclercs16, pierregasly, and 1,673,992 others
charles_leclerc Most talented person I've come across. Watching you on set has become one of my favorite things to do; it reminds me of just how amazing you are. To more karting sessions with you ❤️
Sincerely,
Your paddock tour guide
lecshamilton hes owning the tour guide title, mad respect
sainzlove I AM MELTINGGGGG
f1luvr power couple me thinks?
yourusername Get ready to lose 🥱
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tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy
notes: why i take so much time making these ill never understand anyway i hope u guys like this hehehe thank you sm for reading <3
#writtenbyrae#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc insta au#charles leclerc social media au#charles leclerc instagram imagine#charles leclerc ig imagine#charles leclerc fluff#formula 1#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 ig imagine#formula 1 instagram imagine#f1 social media au#f1 ig imagine#f1 instagram au
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SSR Ruggie Bucchi - Platinum Jacket Vignette
"Happy 100th Anniversary"
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Ruggie: Can't believe I'm here bein' a supporter for some museum like this. Guess ya never know what life's got in store for ya.
Ruggie: I mean, I totally wouldn't've ever paid to see paintings that I can't even fill my belly with…
Ruggie: But I guess it's okay if I don't gotta pay. I wonder if they got paintings I've seen in my textbooks.
???: This painting… These are the hyenas from the King of Beast's legends. When the three of them are lined up like this it's kind of intimidating…
Ruggie: Well, yeah, they were out there patrollin' lava quarries 'n goin' out on scoutin' missions, so.
Trey: You sure know your stuff, Ruggie. I guess that would make sense for a hyena beastman to know.
Trey: But still… Both patrolling and scouting seems like painstaking work.
Ruggie: Oh, yeah. From the stories I've heard, they had some pretty tight scrapes…
Ruggie: Like there's one where while they were out chasin' some stubborn foe, they ended up runnin' off a cliff tryin' to catch 'em…
Ruggie: Which had 'em endin' up flyin' into some real prickly thickets.
Trey: If it were me, I'd probably hesitate, worried about getting hurt. Guess the hyenas who worked under the King of Beasts were just that brave.
Ruggie: Brave? Then I guess I'll take that compliment, too. 'Cause I've jumped into thorny thickets like that a buncha times!
Trey: You've jumped into the thorny thickets…? A bunch of times!? Why would you do that…?
Ruggie: Actually, did you know? In the Sunset Savanna, there's this real steep cliff that's become a bit of a tourist attraction.
Ruggie: It's the perfect place to catch the settin' sun, so a ton of tourists go up there to snap a pic, leanin' over the fences 'n everything.
Ruggie: And like, sometimes there's folk that'll get so focused on settin' up the shot, or that'll bump into others that they'll drop and lose stuff.
Trey: I'd expect they'd have to let their stuff go if they dropped it off the cliff… But how does this all tie into you talking about the thorny thickets??
Ruggie: Sheeheehee. So actually, at the bottom of that cliff, there's a huge bramble of thorny thickets.
Ruggie: It's off-limits, and it's pretty dangerous, so no one really heads down there.
Ruggie: So, that's why I'd sneak down in the dead of night, and pick up all the lost items!
Ruggie: Sometimes I'd find little wrapped pieces of candy, watches 'n accessories, and even wallets!
Ruggie: Well, it kinda depended week to week what dropped, but… That was a great way to make some quick cash.
Trey: B-But if you had gotten injured, would all that have been worth it?
Ruggie: Yeah, true. Back when I was just a kid, I could slip in 'n out pretty easily, but I had to stop when I started getting' bigger.
Ruggie: Not only was I makin' big bucks, but the cliff's environment was getting' kept clean. Felt like a win-win deal to me.
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Ruggie: Oh, this one… It's a painting of the thunder god and his son.
Trey: Yeah, according to the legends, he came to the human world just after being born, and was raised by adoptive parents.
Ruggie: Basically, that means he was raised apart from his actual dad, right? Amazin' they actually look like they get along good.
Trey: Haha… I wonder. Do you get along with your dad, Ruggie?
Ruggie: Nah, I don't got one.
Ruggie: He left back when I was a kid, so I don't remember anythin' about him, 'n I don't know what he's up to now.
Trey: Oh… Is that so? Sorry, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds.
Ruggie: Huh, that reaction's pretty different than what I'm used to.
Ruggie: Back home, there's a ton of kids just like me, so usually they'd just shrug and go, "Oh, okay" and move on.
Trey: And I guess it doesn't sound like they're saying that just to be considerate.
Ruggie: Obviously. Because the bigger problem is not havin' the money to buy food!
Ruggie: Granny'd take care of me, but there wasn't much we could do 'bout our empty bellies…
Ruggie: When I was big enough, I'd start working together with all the kids in my little neighborhood to scrounge up some food.
Trey: Kids running around trying to gather food on their own… That's hard for me to imagine.
Ruggie: There's a buncha ways to gather up food. We'd go into town and ask for alms, or drop a line in the river.
Ruggie: We were always pretty hungry, so we'd pretty much do anything… Oh, like we had a great time once digging for potatoes.
Trey: Is digging up potatoes that exciting?
Ruggie: WELL, YEAH!
Ruggie: There's actually a type of potato that grows in my country that can get as large as 20 kilos…
Ruggie: Around the time the potato harvestin' was finishin' up, we all snuck into the fields at night…
Ruggie: And we'd pick up some stunted potatoes that were left behind, as well as dug up some other forgotten potatoes.
Ruggie: We were all up in arms to pick every single one before the sun rose!
Trey: Why'd you go at mid… Never mind, I'm not going to ask.
Ruggie: And then, this one year when I was diggin', I hit the jackpot!
Ruggie: It was a potato so huge I wouldn't've even been able to carry it with both arms! It had't've been heavier than 20 kilos~
Ruggie: Didn't think there'd be any potatoes left that huge… Maan, I really lucked out then.
Trey: 20 kilograms, huh… With something that big, I don't think there'd be much to worry about eating for a while.
Ruggie: Don'tcha think?
Ruggie: I was thinkin', like, we could dry whatever was leftover and turn it to powder to make it last a bit longer…
Ruggie: But then Granny ended up boilin' 'em, fryin' 'em, and basically makin' a ton of dishes. It was a potato party extravaganza!
Ruggie: Me and the other street kiddos were just packin' 'em away, and little by little it started to disappear…
Ruggie: In the end, I couldn't make anything to save it for later.
Trey: Ah… That's rough.
Ruggie: And I never saw a potato that huge ever again. Guess good luck like that only ever hits once in a while.
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Trey: Woah… This painting has a real powerful presence.
Ruggie: So, this is a painting of when the Thorn Fairy transformed into a dragon to fight, huh.
Trey: She looks way stronger than what her stories say. I bet I would be no match for her.
Ruggie: Eh!? Trey-san, you lookin' to pick a fight with the Thorn Fairy? It'd be waaay better to try 'n flatter her instead
Trey: Oho, but that might be the scarier route, don't you think? You might end up in deep trouble if you were to offend the Thorn Fairy instead.
Ruggie: Sheeheehee. Oh, but I'm pretty good with that kinda stuff.
Trey: Haha, well, I guess I have to admire that pluck.
Ruggie: But man, she's really something. She's the one that caused all that lightning too, right?
Ruggie: They say it was always thunderin' and lightnin' outside her castle as a way to keep intruders out… That's a huge undertakin', huh.
Ruggie: But with all those lightning strikes, I bet the bread prices were super cheap near the Thorn Fairy's castle.
Trey: Bread? …Ohh, right! Because when lightning strikes, certain particles are released in the air that helps plants grow.
Ruggie: Huh? Wait, are ya sayin' there's actually a whole science behind the whole "bread gets cheaper whenever it thunders"!?
Trey: Oh, isn't that what you meant?
Ruggie: I was just sayin' what Granny would always say…
Ruggie: Wait, so does that sayin' mean that 'cause more wheat gets harvested, more bread can get made, and that's why it's cheaper?
Trey: Yeah. Although, with how much we've developed our fertilizers nowadays, I don't know how much lightning strikes actually play a part anymore.
Ruggie: Cooool, I had no idea. Guess you Science Club folk know your stuff.
Ruggie: I bet Granny didn't really know the meanin' behind it like you did…
Ruggie: But I bet she saw with her own eyes the change in bread prices whenever there were tons of thunder and lightning.
Ruggie: But still… Kinda weird, huh. Sheeheehee.
Trey: Weird? What is?
Ruggie: Back when I was a kid, I only ever cared 'bout food, so there's no way I woulda been interested in learnin' why the bread was cheaper.
Ruggie: But now, I heard your whole spiel, and my reaction was to think it was pretty cool. Guess I'm maturin'.
Trey: Well… Maybe it's just that you can actually afford to take the time to listen now?
Ruggie: Maybe, maybe not. 'Cause my wallet's still pretty empty…
Ruggie: Oh hey, maybe this is just me bein' able to relax my stresses away, huh!? …Maybe not, heh.
Trey: Could be, if you're enjoying your time here, at least. Oops… Look at the time.
Trey: I think I'll head out to go check on how my dormmates are doing. See you, Ruggie.
Ruggie: 'Kaay, see ya. I'm gonna keep lookin' around this area a bit longer.
Ruggie: Hm? This painting… A lion cub's just lollygaggin' with a warthog 'n a meerkat.
Ruggie: I'm wonderin' if they even know all the scary things that can happen to animals that step outta their territory, hm?
Requested by Anonymous.
#twisted wonderland#twst#ruggie bucchi#trey clover#twst ruggie#twst trey#twst translation#twst birthday
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hey hun, could you writes a fluff with rafe where you’ve had an argument with a friend and he comforts you x
Of course! I hope this is ok. I think I ran with the argument more than the comfort, but I hope Rafe gives enough. If you need more Rafe and less plot, please let me know x
Tear-stained Cheeks
Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader
Warnings - Fluff and angst. Reader has the nickname, Bug.
After an argument with Sarah, that is so big it could be friendship breaking. You find comfort and shoulder to cry on, in Rafe.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
It started over a pair of shoes Sarah had borrowed. It wasn't even about the shoes, but it spiralled as quickly as it started, and soon, you were hurling the most spiteful things at each other.
Using your years of friendship and deepest insecurities to hit each other were you knew it would hurt.
Ever since she started dating John B, your friendship slowly started to fray. It wasn't like you had experienced in with her past relationships, she throw herself completely into them, and you were always there to pick up the pieces.
This time, you weren't prepared to be a broken piece.
That's how you ended up pushing your bike down the long drive of Tanneyhill. Shoes in the basket and tears threatening to spill. You breathed in through your nose, desperately trying not to break before you were away from a place you used to see as a second home.
You focused on the warmth of the sun on your face, the sound of the bike wheels spinning, anything to stop yourself spiralling.
"Hey!" You closed your eyes at the sound of his voice as his truck pulled up beside you. "Where you going, Bug?"
Of course, Rafe came home at that exact moment. The teasing tone of his voice, you couldn't deal with. Bug was something he'd always called you. It was meant to be an insult when you were children, and it just stuck.
You didn't respond and kept walking, causing him to frown. Normally you’d have some sassy remark or a come back to make him smile.
Rafe was just as much a part of your life as Sarah was. The annoying but unfairly gorgeous best friend's older brother. Your relationship was built on teasing, hating, and loving each other. As you grow, so did new feelings, and a few stolen kisses had been shared through the years, but nothing ever came of them.
"Bug?" His voice sounded more concerned.
You sniffed and straight your back, hoping your voice wouldn't break when you finally spoke to him.
"I'm going home." You had no such luck as your voice cracked.
"With your parents away? Weren't you staying here?"
"Well, plans change. Maybe I could throw a massive party. Who knows?" The only party you actually planned was a pity party for one, with your bed.
Rafe actually laughed. "You having a house party? Never thought I'd see that day." He tilted his head, looking you up and down. "Was it Sarah's idea?"
Of course, he would think Sarah was the one who would make you have a party in your parents' artefact filled house. They were both archaeologists. The funny part was that before the argument, she had been suggesting it. A pogue and kook party in your parents' manor style home.
Her name pierced your heart, and all you could do was shake your head as the tears that had been threatening to finally fall.
"Hey, whoa whoa whoa." Rafe quickly stumbled out of the truck, leaving the engine running and door wide open.
He gently took your face in his hands as your nose wrinkled, a tiny sob heaved from your chest. You dropped your bike on the grass as you held onto his wrists. Everything suddenly came crushing down. The weight of every hurtful word feeling like a brick on your chest.
His thumbs brushed the tears away as they kept falling. "Breathe for me, baby." He got you to copy his steady breaths as his blue, concerned, filled eyes searched your face.
Rafe checked quickly for any physical injury before pulling you into his chest. You could hear his heart beating just as rapidly as yours as his arms circled your shoulders and hands cradled your head. Calming shushes uttered from his lips as your sobs turned to slient hiccups.
"Can you tell me what happened?" He needed to know who the fuck made you cry and who to kill.
"Sarah," you sighed into his chest, your tears having soaked his shirt.
"Sarah's a bitch" He said without missing a beat.
"Then I'm a bitch too. We both said some pretty fucked up things" You still clung to the back of his shirt as you muttered.
"You can be," He admitted, but his tone was completely teasing. "The difference is, I like you"
You laughed, unable to help it as you let go, pulling back after he placed a kiss on your head. You wiped your eyes roughly and rubbed your nose with the back of your hand as you sniffed. "I'm sorry about the shirt"
He pulled it out to look at the watermark you left behind and shrugged before looking back at you, "Even with tear-stained cheeks and snort, your beautiful"
"Shut up." you hit his shoulder but still smiled at him as he held your hand in place.
Sarah appeared in the doorway. "Can we talk?" She asked. You turned to look at her as Rafe threw a protective arm over your shoulders.
Your smile immediately dropped, and Rafe shot Sarah a look so deadly that if looks could kill, she'd be laying stone cold right there.
"Not right now, Sarah." Rafe called over to her. "I'm taking Bug to get ice cream"
"How does ice cream sound, baby?" He glanced down at you as you nodded.
"Ice cream sounds perfect"
Rafe drove you to the ice cream parlour, his hand in your lap as Sarah was left watching you take comfort from her brother while your bike lay abandoned on the grass. The shoes long forgotten.
#rafe cameron#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks fic#rafe x reader#outerbanks#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#outerbanks angst#rafe request
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with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"
like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two
like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]
and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.
there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"
like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen
#the like metanalysis i'm applying to the wynnstannery journey meanwhile....a multifaceted like Oh Yeah I See places hand on surface#tl;dr like yeah i would love to do theatre in w/e ways and i would truly enjoy my experience completely in its own right. b/c i Have....#stopped dance when i was fourteen coz knee hurty; gender hurty; parental involvement hurty; was going into college and was like will i even#have time for dance stuff? like yeah maybe but i didn't know it & figured i'd probably be forever busy & fail out anyways. took a break.#and that first year there was some delightful The Shakespearean Theater Just Down The Street also theatre adjacent class experiences#which was just More expansive & More evidence like yes i love all this shit a lotttt thanks#however at this juncture like; oh you Can audition for school theatre & even get there by yourself#didn't want family to know & come; didn't want to be alongside ppl who Did have all this high school experience and even if they didn't#were older so just probably at all better at shit lol. also my roommate had a lot of theatre interest & experience so i would've felt#awkward or out of place. like i do Not want to have to be really socially connected or like be criticized on some As Personal Acquaintances#supposed helpful basis lol. was sort of peripherally eventually [theatre doers] socially involved but eh#i had fun helping out with behind the scenes stuff Sometimes; or just hanging out in that arena#but i didn't make friends really & the true Downgrade was feeling like i was supposed to be / Had to be#one of those cases even when it's like ''yeah for some people they let you be around peripherally b/c you're the butt of the joke''#like yeah great lmfao This Isn't It....but then going off oneself to some pwyw shakespeare show where you don't know what's going on but#that's not even required to enjoy it and Live Theatre and hell yeah babey. the actors were all whole adults & professionals & kind#like for me the social aspect is [when you're In A Show there's more afforded ''you're allowed to be here''] lol & that's it.#i like being around people but i like being there ''by myself.'' i can enjoy spontaneous; fleeting interactions contained in that moment#i don't need or even want those to Lead To Something That ''Actually Matters'' like an ongoing personal friendship or w/e#i enjoy those interactions in their own right; interacting in the capacity of both doing Show Tasks in their own right#i enjoy being in these Performances and Rehearsals in their own right & All The Enjoyment Was Already There.#i never needed or particularly looked for Especial Feedback from any sources. there needed to be an audience but that presence Was It.#i was engaged & enriched & interested in my own right. all very clear and clearly Genuine#vs whatever i was recognized as especially Good At or what i would just kind of do / was supposed to do but it's like; eh#or just otherwise like yeah i like some of this; but not nearly as much; &/or there clearly aren't ways to engage w/it in ways that i#actually want to or enjoy. i loved having a part but never needed it to be like Solo or the Main part. when i was doing & had done the#performing in rehearsals or shows like That Was It; that was what was fun. didn't anticipate or need the least Especial Feedback#just knowing like yeah that's the good shit. this is a real Passion that i enjoyed w/o ever needing anything ''more'' / external validation#wahoo....and the inherent value & relevance in just Knowing of that fact lol. wasn't always clear to me like yeah we all love that shit#in just the way that i did; right. like lol maybe not exactly and not always; actually.
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Someone in one of my groups submitted this "cheap charmer" fixer/upper that's down the block from her. It has potential and you can live in it while you fix it, little-by-little. I'm going to call it a 19th Century High Style home, b/c the front was clearly altered at some point. This home is in Cincinnati, OH, has 5bds, 6ba, & is priced at $260K. Let's have a look inside and see what needs to be done:
I really don't know what they did here, but they did something. This is not original. You can make it nice, though. This home is in the North Avondale section of Cincinnati.
The entrance hall has a vintage light fixture, curved ceiling and French doors. It's awfully dark. Why would they pick this color?
Thru the French doors, this room is the first one off the hall (enjoy the virtual staging).
Look at this fireplace- Thankfully, no one ruined the gorgeous carving on the surround. It's non-functional. I guess they didn't want to fix it, so they blocked it off. At least they left the firebox.
Across the way, there's this beautiful room in the tower. The fireplace looks wonderful in here, too, under the white paint.
Here it is, virtually staged.
The kitchen is a bit of a disaster. Right now, it has ample, but ugly, cabinetry and modern appliances. I mean, you can cook in here for now.
The cabinets are in rough shape- some are broken. I would at least paint it a livelier color.
Ugly door in the hall. Someone painted the original stairs and the beautifully carved finial. I don't think that the shelves are original, but they're not bad. A few balusters are broken- They're so delicately turned.
This staircase is beautiful.
There are remnants of its beauty- that's an original door on the right.
The primary bedroom is in the tower.
Virtually staged and cleaned up.
This would make a nice walk-in closet. Or, I'd take the wall back down, depending on the layout.
This bath was given a bad reno. The house has been cut up into odd rooms. I would take some of the walls down. You never know if you'll find something original.
The bedrooms are certainly angular. This one has an en-suite. I don't love the closet doors.
This room is just weird. Maybe it was a dressing room, b/c of the mirror?
The basement level is rough. It has lots of room, though.
I don't know why the cement is crumbling.
Is that a bar? If it is, this could be a super cool rec room.
They put this deck on the back. My parents painted their deck with this "redwood" paint and I was so angry- what made you do this? You're supposed to stain the wood.
I don't know if you could call this a patio. This poor house has been thru some ugly DIY renos. It's on a .32 acre lot.
Oh, the deck is on the side. Okay. They've got fire escapes, so that's up to code, I guess. There's a long driveway and potential for patios. So, they added the stone to the facade.
What did they do to this house? Looks like they blocked up a window on the left.
The yard extends back. It's a nice plot of land.
Nice mature tree and a pretty front yard.
This home deserves some love.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/997-Burton-Ave-Cincinnati-OH-45229/34227306_zpid/?
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Joey B Imagines: Light My Fire*
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Summary: Flashback. You and Joe are at LSU and so in love. Joe’s win of the National Title turns into a night you two will remember forever…
Warnings: smut
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine universe: Into The Mystic
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January 13, 2020
He did it. Joe fuckin’ did it.
After everything I’d watched Joe go through, from high school football to not starting at Ohio State to transferring, I got to witness Joe become a National Champion.
I'd never felt so proud of my boyfriend before, watching him hoist that trophy in the air as I cried in Robin’s arms.
“He did it!” - you cried
“He couldn't have done it without you sweetie. You're his everything.” - Robin
——
When Joe came to the family area, he first hugged his parents, him and his dad sharing such a sweet moment.
After their embrace ended, Joe turned to me, and in a matter of seconds, I was in his arms as he spun me around.
“I love you so much!” - Joe
“I love you more! You did it, Joey! I'm so proud of you.” - you
My words were mumbled as I was yelling them into his neck, but Joe understood every word.
“You know I couldn't have gotten this far without you? Thank you for everything, baby.” - Joe
“Thank you for letting me be a part of this journey. I'll follow you wherever you go.” - you
I pulled away and looked into his eyes, seeing that they were a little misty.
“I love you more than life, y/n.” - Joe
The embrace with Joe lasted longer than anticipated, like a whole five minutes, and I could sense eyes on us.
When I pulled away from Joe, Robin had a slight eyebrow-raised expression, wondering why Joe hugged me longer than her. She understood a little bit because she knew Joe saw his future in me.
“Hey, you're still spending the night with me, yeah?” - Joe
You'd be able to hear the smirk in his voice without even looking at his face like I was now.
“Yes. Why?” - you grinned
“I'm feeling some celebratory…” - Joe
My eyes went wide when Joe whispered the word sex.
“Joseph! Your parents are right behind us.” - you
Joe laughed at my worriedness and looked around to make sure his parents weren't watching us. The next thing I knew, Joe slipped his hands down to my ass and pressed his lips to mine.
When we broke apart, Joe licked his lips and showed me a devilish grin.
“You might wanna take a power nap when you get to my place, it's gonna be a looong night for you.” - Joe
Soon, Joe was walking away and back toward the locker room entrance, leaving me stunned.
——
I didn’t know how long I'd been asleep or the fact that I'd been asleep at all when Joe walked through his apartment door.
“There's my girl.” - Joe grinned
Joe dropped his bags and made his way over to the couch, quickly crawling on top of me with a smirk on his face.
“My national champion.” - you smirked
I watched Joe’s eyes turn dark as the nickname left my lips.
“Say it again.” - Joe
“My national champion.” - you
“Fuck.” - Joe grunted
He dropped his hips to where they were against mine and slowly started grinding himself into my hips.
“Wait-” - you
Joe immediately stopped.
“What?” - Joe
“Do you… have a cigar?” - you
“I got a whole pack of ‘em, why?” - Joe
“It sounds weird to admit out loud, but you looked so hot smoking it earlier.” - you
The smirk that formed on Joe’s lips was purely cocky.
“You want me to smoke one while we make love, huh baby?” - Joe
“Please, Joey.” - you
Joe nodded and crawled off of me. I watched him walk over to his bag and pull out a box of cigars. He sat them down on the kitchen table and quickly pulled all of his clothes off.
The sight of Joe putting the unlit cigar in his mouth while completely naked might be the hottest thing I've ever seen. With his perfect arms, torso, shoulders, thighs, and hard-awaiting length, my eyes didn't know where to look.
If I could grab my phone and take a picture of this sight, I would, but there were too many risks.
Joe laughed without even looking up at me.
“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” - Joe
Did he read my mind? What the hell?
Doing as Joe said, I picked up my phone off of the end table and snapped a picture.
“You're a work of art.” - you
“Thank you.” - Joe smiled
Joe walked back over to the couch and plopped down next to me, handing me the lighter in the process.
“Light it.” - Joe
“I- how?” - you
My brain was scattered just by the pure sight of Joe. He was like a drug.
Delicately, Joe reached out and grabbed my hand, directing it toward his throbbing cock. My pulse reacted when he spit into my hand and wrapped it around his length.
Next, Joe directed my other hand - the one holding the lighter - to the cigar held loosely between his lips.
“Atta girl.” - Joe
Now the cigar was lit, and Joe looked more perfect than ever.
“You know how to stroke a cock, baby. I don't gotta show you how to do that too, right?” - Joe
“N-no…” - you
“Then get to it.” - Joe
Feeling kinda awkward for some reason, I slowly started moving my hand. Joe seemed to appreciate it, though.
The look of Joe’s head thrown back with the cigar in his mouth had a gush of wetness seep into my panties.
“Oh god.” - Joe groaned
By now, I was feeling more confident and was able to stroke him faster.
“Use your mouth- please.” - Joe
His please came out as a whimper, and I gladly did as he said. Moving my head down to take Joe in my mouth, he was gone in just a matter of minutes.
“That was so good.” - Joe 
I was out of breath and already feeling pain in the back of my throat from Joe’s swollen cock hitting the back of it.
“You okay, beautiful?” - Joe
“Mhm.” - you
“You sure? Was I too rough?” - Joe
“No, you were perfect like always. I want you so bad.” - you
Within seconds, Joe was on top of me, his cigar only inches away from my face.
“God, I want inside you.” - Joe
“Please do.” - you
Joe didn't waste any time, and soon I was getting lost in the feel of his thick cock moving inside me.
“You feel so good- so fuckin’ wet.” - Joe
Nothing was better than this, being able to be so vulnerable with someone and yet feel so confident. Joe made me feel so many different feelings.
“You do- too. Joey.” - you moaned
Joe came first, which never happened. He was always making sure that I finished before him because my pleasure was the only thing on his mind. Tonight, though, was Joe’s night, and I was trying my hardest to make him feel like the champion he was.
Basking in the post-sex bliss, Joe lay on top of me, his head on my chest as my hand rubbed over his back.
“I'm so proud of you.” - you
“Thank you for always believing in me. Throughout high school, at Ohio State, and when I transferred. You were always there in the stands and on the sidelines. You've been one of the biggest reasons why I didn't give up. I know nothing I can say will show how appreciative I am, but just know I love you so fuckin’ much. More than the championship win.” - Joe
I ran my fingers through Joe’s hair and repeatedly kissed his forehead, my throat tightening and heart soaring at each word leaving his mouth.
“I've been there since the bleached blonde hair, seen you through two mullets, and I'll be there till you're fully grey or bald.” - you
“I hope I don't go bald, I'll get a toupée.” - Joe
Busting out laughing at his less-than-serious statement, Joe and I’s laughs joined together to make a beautiful soundtrack of the night.
At one point, Joe was almost asleep, but a knock on his apartment had us both wide-eyed in panic.
“Joey!” - Robin
“Your parents are here?!” - you whisper yelled
Joe jumped off of the couch and started putting his clothes back on, I ran into the bedroom when I heard keys jingling on the other side of the door.
“They're probably already sleeping. I forgot I had a key.” - Robin
Thankfully, I was in Joe’s bedroom with the door shut when Robin got the door open.
“Oh, hi son…” - Jimmy
“Hey guys! Didn't know you were coming…” - Joe
“Surprise! Where's y/n?” - Robin
“She's, uh… just got out of the shower.” - Joe
Jimmy laughed, and Joe looked at him with a narrowed eye look. His face saying, what are you laughing at?
“So you two were celebrating?” - Jimmy
“Uh… what do you mean?” - Joe
“Son, your shorts are on inside out and your shirts backward.” - Jimmy
My shoulders dropped in annoyance as I listened to the conversation from the bedroom. So much for not getting caught.
I facepalmed as Joe stuttered out an excuse, but Jimmy and Robin only laughed. If his parents didn't know we had sex before, they sure as hell do now.
Damn it, Joe!
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Authors note: idk what to put
Requests for this fic;
Hope you enjoyed! 💕
#joe burrow#bengals#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow x reader#joey b#cincinnati bengals#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow smut
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Water Lily
Mizu X Fem!Reader CW: Uses the scientific term for a man's groin WC: 2.4k+ Uses he/him pronouns at the beginning and then changes to she/her Also POV change at the end
"Mizu?"
"Yes, Mizu."
"Like water."
He nodded his head.
"Interesting name for a man," I said, eyeing him up and down.
He was tall and slender. Raven like hair that was tied into a bun, a Kasa on his head that hid his face if he tilted it down. There were round tinted glasses on his face. Wonder why they were tinted? Was he hiding something that he shouldn't? Such as his eye color. Taking a closer look, even if they were tinted, I could see the shape of his eyes. They were round, not almond. His face was pretty angular, which there were some men here with angular faces, but not like his. He was a peculiar man, I will say that.
"Please, I-I understand if you don't want to take me in, but I need to find shelter for the night. A-And I thought this place was abandoned."
"It wasn't, at one point," I said.
"Did you have a family?"
"Yes. A big one at that."
Looking at the surroundings, Mizu nodded his head, "I can tell by the size of it."
"But we weren't rich enough to live in the big cities like Kyoto."
"So why settle out here? In the middle of no where?"
"It was quiet and there weren't many visitors. Except you."
"I-I don't mean to rush this, but," he shifted and that was when I saw it.
There was blood dripping from his side. Rushing him inside, I closed the door and sat him down.
"Take your shirt off," I said.
"I can handle it myself, thanks," he said.
"Please, you're in need of stitches and you're in no condition of doing it yourself."
"How do you know?"
"Were you the same one to do the patchwork in your shirt?"
Eyeing the white stitches that were haphazardly done, Mizu pouted and sighed.
"Fine. B-But promise you won't tell anyone?"
"Tell anyone who? That I saw a man shirtless? I had male cousins who would swim naked in the river behind the house. I've seen more penises than I'd like to," I sighed.
"I take it you're not fond of it?"
"Never was and never will be."
"Why are you out here all alone?" Mizu asked as I got the needle and thread ready, along with some alcohol.
"My family left me."
"Why?"
"The same reason as to why I never want to sleep with a man, let alone be touched by one."
"B-But why are you helping me?"
"You seem like a nice guy," I said.
"So you don't like men?"
"Not romantically."
"I see," Mizu said. "Well, you're in luck."
"Why's that?"
As soon as Mizu removed his cloak and shirt, I understood why. There was a binding around his chest.
"A woman."
Mizu nodded her head, "Yes."
"Well, do you want me to call you sir or madam?"
"Mizu."
"Mizu? Just Mizu?"
"Yes. Just Mizu."
"Well, if there was one thing that stuck from my family, is I always gave people nicknames. No matter if they were staying for the day or a week."
"Why?"
"Hospitable," I said and got the needle and thread ready, stitching up the stab wound in Mizu's left abdomen.
"Geez, you have a lot of scars over your body. What kind of a samurai doesn't wear armor?"
"I-I'm not a samurai. I have no honor. Unless you count revenge honorable."
"Why the revenge?"
There was a long pause.
"I know it's easier said than done, but you can trust me. Not like I have anyone to tell your secrets to. I do live alone."
"Surprised you haven't gone insane," Mizu said.
"You and me both."
"Do you remember when the four white men came to Japan?"
"My parents told me about it. Caused a big stir."
"I was the product of one of them. He slept with my mother and she had me."
"C-Can I look at something?"
"What?" Mizu turned towards me.
Reaching up, she flinched away, causing me to retract my hand. Slowly nodding, she leaned towards me. Removing her glasses, I finally found what was hiding underneath. Bright, blue eyes that seemed to shine in the firelight. They reminded me of the river outside, how it shimmered and shined against the morning and evening sun.
"Your eyes," I began.
"Just say it," Mizu said with annoyance.
"Say what?"
"That I'm a demon, an onryo. A dog."
"They're beautiful."
"What?"
"Your eyes, they're beautiful. I haven't seen anything like them."
"O-Oh," Mizu said. "T-Thanks, I guess."
I smiled, "So cold. Yet the minute you're exposed to a burning fire, you freeze up."
"I haven't really been complimented throughout my years of being alive. I was seen as a demon. A monster. That I had no right to be alive."
"But you are, aren't you?"
"Alive only to do one thing and that is kill those white men."
"What do you plan to do afterwards?"
"I don't know."
"Well, you always have a place here, Mizu," I said, taping some gauze around the stitches. I put the binding on her chest and she pulled the shirt up.
"Stay as long as you need to," I said, throwing the needle away.
"You never told me your name," Mizu said.
"Y/N."
"Y/N," she said. "Thank you, Y/N."
"Rest, Mizu. I will fix you up something to eat to help with the healing process.
"How can I repay you?"
"By coming back alive."
"Back where?"
"Here. I like your company."
Even if I couldn't see her, there was a smile across her face. Once I had finished making her something to eat, I sat down beside her and handed her the bowl.
"So, your family," Mizu said.
"Minute they found me with a woman they picked up their things and left."
"Nice of them to leave you a house to yourself instead of throwing you out."
"They went with my aunt and uncle. They're lords so of course they'd want to live in a bigger place than this."
"Of course. The greedy just become greedier."
"But I have found solace within these walls. I thank you for the company," I smiled.
"Thank you for helping me."
I nodded, standing up, letting Mizu have some space and time to eat.
"You're handy with a sword," I said, watching her practice.
It's been a few days since Mizu arrived at my doorstep asking for help, even though she really didn't want it at first. I was sure she would have left by now because of how she spoke of her mission. She was serious and she wanted these people to pay. I felt her pain, her vengeance. But it was killing her on the inside.
"I am handy with other things," Mizu said, wiping some sweat from her face. "Anything is a weapon if you really think about it."
"In your hands, even chopsticks can be a weapon."
She chuckled, "Yeah. I guess they can be."
"Who taught you?"
"Myself."
"Oh, self taught."
"No school would take me. Y-You've seen me. I-I'm a disgrace."
Walking over to Mizu, I raised my hand and placed it against her cheek. Moving her head back a bit, I found her blue eyes.
"Mizu, you're not."
"W-Why do this to me?"
"Do what?"
"Tell me something I am not when I am."
"It were those who claimed you as something you're not. They were telling you you're an onyro, a demon, a dog, whatever they wanted to call you. That is something you're not, Mizu. You're simply a person who is just trying to get by in this world."
"I-I," she reached up and grabbed my hand, nuzzling into my palm. "I-I never really thought about it that way."
"Because you were taught not to show who you really were. Not to be you, Mizu. You had to put a mask on your face and because of it, you hid away and that's really the only thing you know."
Tears streamed down her face as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Removing my hand, she let go of it.
"Leave me."
"Mizu, d-did I say something wrong?"
"Just leave," she snarled at me. "And quit pretending you know me."
She walked off and continued to train. That was interesting, but it made her all the more complex.
"I see you're still not gone," I said, sitting down and putting a bowl in front of her.
"And you still haven't given me a nickname," Mizu said, raising the bowl to her lips.
"I haven't thought of a good one."
"Well, my name means water. Shouldn't that mean something?"
"It does, I am trying to find a way to tie that in. But nothing is coming."
"Just call me ocean because I come and go like it."
"Then it would be rain."
"What was your nickname? If your parents gave you one."
"They gave me the nickname of koi."
"Koi? Like a koi fish?"
"Yep. I loved swimming, just like the koi fish. And I had perseverance, especially when it came to learning medicinal soups and what was edible and what wasn't."
"And here I thought you'd poison me," Mizu joked.
"Ha-ha," I said dryly.
"You're actually quite good at it," she said.
"Good at what?"
"Taking care of people. And well, everything you've done for me lately."
"Oh. T-Thank you."
"Didn't think I'd compliment you?"
"N-No, but I just don't see you complimenting someone."
"Really? Why's that?"
"Cold like ice."
"Oh," she sighed.
"But once warm, the ice melts away, leaving water in its place. You're resilient, Mizu. Like water itself."
"A-About the other day," Mizu said.
"Yeah?"
"I-I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have said that to you."
"Well, for someone to say those kinds of things, someone had to be in similar shoes. I was in similar shoes like you. Having to hide who I truly was and then when it came out, I was scolded for it. Seen as a monster. Seen as something anything other than human."
"It must have been hard, having your entire family turn their backs on you when you needed them most."
"It was," I said, picking up my chopsticks and grabbing the noodles. "But like my nickname, I pushed through. I found a way to overcome it and was able to thrive. Now, I find myself in a better place than before. And while I thought it couldn't get any better, you came along."
Mizu picked up her head, "W-What did I do?"
"Gave me another reason to stay here."
"You wanted to leave?"
"I did. I took some jobs from the nearby town and saved up enough money to move into said town. People tried to offer me their homes, but I wanted to earn a house by myself and work there."
"Why haven't you yet?"
"Well, someone by the name of Mizu came to my door the day I was getting ready to pack my things."
Mizu turned away, avoiding my gaze.
"M-My apologies. I-I should have left earlier."
"I enjoy your company, Mizu. I'm glad you stayed for as long as you did. And besides, I think you're all healed up. So you also needed to stay to heal."
"Do you have everything?" I asked Mizu as I straightened out the cloak on her shoulders.
"Yes, I have everything," she said.
I handed her her tinted glasses and she held off putting them on yet. I also handed her a different kind of scarf.
"What's this for?" she asked, taking it.
"A more fashionable scarf to wrap around your neck."
"Why?"
"I don't think you like having whatever you have around your neck. Besides, it'll also keep you warm."
Mizu removed what was around her neck and replaced it with what I had given her.
"I-It is warm," she said, her eyes widening with surprise. "W-What is it?"
"Part of a blanket I had when I was a kid."
"W-Why do something like that?"
"It'll provide you warmth and comfort. And it'll remind you of me."
"I can't thank you enough, Y/N," Mizu said.
"You don't need to. J-Just promise me one thing."
"I-I'll try to."
I reached over and grabbed her hands, holding them gently in mine.
"Promise me you'll come back alive. I don't care if it's in pieces to where I have to stitch you up again," I poked at her abdomen, earning a chuckle from her. Reaching up, I placed my hand against her cheek, caressing the skin. "Just please come back to me."
"I-I'll try to, Y/N."
"Thank you."
"I-I think I might have found a way to thank you."
"How's that?"
Leaning towards me, she placed her lips lightly to the corner of my mouth, pressing a quick kiss. Pulling away, her cheeks flushed. Smiling, I leaned towards her and pressed a light and quick kiss to her lips. When I pulled away, her eyes were wide and her mouth open slightly. Her cheeks went from pink to a deep shade of red. I giggled, seeing her flustered like that. She put her glasses on and tipped her Kasa down over her eyes.
"G-Goodbye, Y/N."
She walked down the path of my house and turned to the left, heading to the nearest city.
"Goodbye, my water lily."
~Mizu's POV~
Walking down the familiar path, I reached up and grabbed onto the scarf, feeling the silk material. A smile crawled over my face when I finally reached the turn that led to her house. Turning, my heart sank into my stomach and my knees got heavy. Rushing towards the house, the once vibrant paint was weathered away and there were boards where the windows used to be. Ivy was growing and grass was overtaking the stone path.
"Y-Y/N!" I called, rushing towards the backside of the house. "Y-Y/N!"
I ran towards the front and let out a silent cry as tears slid down my face.
"N-No. I-I haven't been gone for that long."
Walking close to the door, there was a board covering it so I couldn't even really open it. Stepping closer, there was a little piece of paper sticking out from underneath one of the boards. Grabbing it, I pulled out a letter with my name on it. Opening it with trembling hands, I read the first two words and was immediately running towards that town. I should have known. She mentioned she wanted to move there. I didn't think she'd move that quickly. As I was running there, I was reading the note. Reaching the town, I walked through some crowds of people and before I knew it, I was standing in front of her house. Her new house. There was a bell hanging by the door. Raising my hand, I grabbed the red sting at the end and rang it, a jingle erupting into the air.
"Coming!" her voice called from the inside.
Taking in a deep breath, I let it out and the door opened up.
"M-Mizu?"
"I-I'm b--"
Her arms were thrown around me and she was hugging me tightly.
"I thought you were dead."
Lifting my arms, I wrapped them around her, hugging her tightly.
"I missed you, too."
Pulling away, she cupped my face in her hands. Pulling me towards her, our lips met lightly and I let out a small hum. Oh to be with her after a long time of fighting. Pulling away, she smiled at me.
"My water lily," she breathed out.
Reaching up, I grabbed her hand.
"I don't think koi suits you."
"Oh? Then what should you call me?"
"Mine," I said huskily.
Her eyes blinked a few times and her face turned a bright shade of red. Smirking, I pushed her into the house and closed the door.
"Payback for when I left."
She chuckled, tears forming in her eyes as I reached up and removed my glasses.
"I missed those eyes. I missed you, Mizu."
"I missed you, too, Y/N."
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Uncle Eddie (part 5)
Our Juniper is growing up 😞 You can read this chapter below, or on ao3. All parts can be read together or as individual stories.
Eddie was pretty sure that this was the most nervous he'd been in his entire life.
Standing on the Buckley-Kinard porch, flowers in one hand and a poorly wrapped birthday present in the other, he let out a deep breath as he waited for someone to come to the door.
When the door finally opened and Tommy stood in front of him, he felt about two feet tall.
“You are in some deep trouble, Man,” Tommy said, shaking his head.
Technically, he deserved it. It was all his fault.
Juniper's tenth birthday was the first time she would have both parents, and her Uncle Eddie, off work for the whole day. Everyone was going to be at the party, even all of her very annoying ten year old friends, but she was most excited to show off her firefighting family, which very much included Uncle Eddie.
Except Eddie, after a very long and exhausting forty-eight hour shift, was asked by Smith if they could trade shifts. “I only have a twelve on Saturday, and I'd be willing to take your twenty-four on Sunday.” And damn if that didn't sound like a good bargain at the time.
It wasn't until he got back from a call on Saturday and checked his phone to see three missed phone calls and five texts from Buck that it hit him.
He was supposed to be at Juniper's party.
He was an idiot.
And should probably get his brain checked for forgetting the one thing she'd reminded him about over and over to the point of Eddie having to beg her to please stop reminding him.
So now he stood at the door with apology flowers and a present that would have been awesome yesterday, but would probably mean nothing today.
“Am I even allowed in the house?” Eddie asked, Tommy already moving to the side to let him in.
“Well, technically Evan was closer to the door when the bell rang, but he went out back instead of answering.”
Eddie stepped inside but stayed in the entryway while Tommy closed the door. “How mad at me are they? How mad are you?”
“Mm,” Tommy hummed, thinking it over. “I'm down to about a four, but that's because of all the downright pathetic texts you sent me yesterday after Evan wouldn't respond to you. Juniper is probably a nine, but I think she's more sad than mad. Evan is... Well, Evan is Evan, so.”
“So I'm in really deep trouble.”
Tommy nodded. “Oh yeah.”
“I guess I should get started on my apology tour then.”
“Good idea. The five apology texts you sent last night are enough for me, by the way. I'd start with Juniper today if I were you. Evan won't forgive you until she does.”
A sigh. “She in her room?”
“Yeah. Good luck.”
*****
Eddie knocked on the open door, standing in the doorway until Juniper hopefully gave him the all clear to enter.
She was facing away from him, sitting at her desk and carefully applying polish to her fingernails. The knock caused her to swivel in her chair, but the smile she had faded quickly when she saw Eddie there. She turned back around.
“I thought you were Papa,” she grumbled out.
“No, just me. Can I come in, Chewy?”
She shrugged. “Free country.”
For all the ways she was turning into her own person, she still contained so much of her dads attitudes.
Eddie walked into the room and over to her desk, setting the flowers down beside her. “That's part of my apology,” he explained, then he set her gift on the other side of her. “That's for your birthday. Your nails look very nice, by the way.”
It was something she had been getting into lately. She loved trying new polishes. Right now she was applying a shimmery blue, and she had done so almost perfectly. She practiced on Tommy a lot. His toes had a new color every week.
The present Eddie had gotten her was a new polish kit that had come out. It was apparently a huge deal with tweens... and she was supposed to have it yesterday so she could do all her friends nails.
“I don't know if- if you know this,” she said, twisting the cap back on her polish, “but my birthday was yesterday.”
Eddie went over to her bed, tossing some stuffed animals to the side before he sat down. “I know, Juniper,” he started, hoping she'd eventually look his way, “and I'm sorry. I made a stupid mistake, I know I did. There's no excuse, but I am sorry.”
Juniper sighed. She stared down at her nails, watching them shine as she moved them around. “Papa told me I should forgive you.”
“That's nice of him.”
“Daddy told me it was, um, it was up to me.”
“That... sounds like your dad.”
“Then Papa told Daddy that people make mistakes, and a- as long as people really try to do better and mean that they're sorry, we should forgive them.”
“That's good advice,” Eddie agreed.
“Then Daddy told Papa that certain mistakes shouldn't be made in the first place and people should make an- an effort to show up.”
“Well, everyone has the right to feel however they feel,” Eddie reasoned.
“Then,” she continued with an exasperated breath, “they kept talking back and forth so I just came in my room.”
Sometimes Eddie wished he could be a fly on the wall to see what kinds of conversations happen in this house.
This was not one of those times.
“Well, Chewy, I- I hope you do forgive me, but I understand if you need more time, okay? I'll make it up to you however I can, but if you want me to leave you alone for a while I will.”
When Juniper didn't respond, Eddie got up and started for the door. “I'll see ya, Juniper.”
“Wait.”
He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to see that Juniper was facing him now. “Yeah?”
“Are you really sorry?”
“I'm really sorry.”
“And you promise you won't do it again?”
“I-” Eddie paused, “I promise I will do my best to make sure I never make you sad again.”
Her eyes narrowed. “That is- is not the same.”
“It's the best I can do, Kid.”
She eyed him for a minute before seemingly coming to a conclusion. “Fine. I forgive you.”
“You do?”
“Mhm. You said you'd make it up to me, right?”
There's always a catch.
“Yes... Yes, I did.”
She smiled brightly, folding her hands together. “Can we go to Fun Zone today? It's a trampoline park and it's like th- the best place to go ever! Can we go?”
Well, that didn't seem like too much of an ask.
“Sure,” he replied. “Let me clear it with your dads first, but I'm sure it'll be fine.”
She clapped excitedly, her nose scrunching up with her grin. “Yay! I'm gonna get ready!”
Eddie glanced at his watch. “We'll head out in a few minutes, okay? I gotta talk to your dad first.”
The look on Juniper's face changed. “Ohh,” she grimaced. “I think Daddy's more mad than me. Here.” She hopped off her chair and picked up the flowers Eddie had given her. She pulled out one of the miniature roses and handed it to him. “Give this to Daddy. It might help.”
Under any other circumstance, Eddie might have laughed at the serious expression on her face, but not this time. After all, Juniper got her stubbornness from somewhere, and that somewhere was definitely Buck.
*****
Tommy was on the couch reading a magazine when Eddie came out to the living room. “How'd it go?” he asked.
“I've been officially forgiven,” Eddie informed him. “Although it did take a bit of a bribe. We're gonna go to some trampoline park thing after I talk to Buck.”
Tommy perked up at the mention of the park. “You mean Fun Zone?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Tommy snorted. “Oh, she's good. She is good.”
“What?” Eddie asked nervously. “Why?”
“On Sunday's kids get endless free ice cream. Endless ice cream, trampolines, they've got zip lines, obstacle courses, rope climbing, stuff like that. Add it all together and-”
“And she's gonna vomit in my truck.”
Tommy nodded. “I'd take a bag.”
“She's punishing me, isn't she?”
“We must all pay for our sins, Eddie,” Tommy replied, dramatically flipping the page of his magazine.
“Is Buck outside still?”
“Mhm.” He nodded toward the rose in Eddie's hand. “Flower for him?”
“Junie's idea.”
“Hm. Probably should've gone for the whole bouquet.”
With a roll of his eyes, Eddie turned for the sliding doors and headed out back.
Buck was sitting on the porch, staring out into the backyard ever so solemnly.
“Hey, Buck,” Eddie began with a slow approach toward him.
Buck said nothing, turned slightly to fix his gaze further away from Eddie, toward one of their trees.
“Just letting you know, I already talked to Juniper and cleared everything up.”
Still no response.
Eddie sighed. He scooted a chair beside Buck and sat down. “Buck, I'm sorry. I was overly tired when I took that shift and the party slipped my mind.” He held the flower in front of Buck's face so he couldn't avoid it. “Juniper accepted my apology. Can you?”
Buck stayed unmoving at first, but after a few seconds he took the flower from Eddie and stared down at it. “You only brought me one flower?”
“Buck.”
Finally, Buck turned to him. “That was a really crappy thing to do, Eddie. Junie looks up to you, she'd been telling all her friends about her Uncle Eddie. Told them you were the cool uncle that taught her Spanish, and then you didn't even show up.”
“Buck, I-”
“And I worked on that damn party for two months. You remember all the clipboards.”
“I do.”
“A vintage, early 2010's birthday party? That was the theme I was given! Whatever the hell that even means! Tommy and I spent two months figuring it all out, but all she'd ever talk about was the fact you'd be there. Tommy and I are just her dads, Eddie, you're the special, cool one in her life. You let her down.”
As if Eddie didn't feel bad enough already. “I know, Buck. I know I let her down, and let you guys down too. I'm sorry.”
“You should be,” Buck replied, face tense.
They were both quiet for a minute, until Buck's posture slowly relaxed.
“You know I wouldn't care so much if it was just me, but you hurt Juniper,” Buck explained. “She still enjoyed her party, but she was really upset you weren't there.”
“I know, Buck. I really am sorry, okay? I'm gonna take her to Fun Zone today for a few hours and- and maybe we can have all her friends come to the station sometime soon? Give them a class on fire safety and show them what we do.”
Buck thought for a moment, twirling the rose between his fingers. “And you'll be the one giving the class,” he replied. It was less of a question and more of a command.
“Yes, I will give the class.”
Buck sighed. “Fine. You're forgiven.” He pointed at Eddie, “Never do it again though.”
Eddie raised his hands in surrender. “Wouldn't dream of it.” He groaned as he stood, his bones creaking in ways they never did when he was younger. “I gotta see if Juniper's ready to go. Mind if I steal your kid for a few hours?”
Buck shook his head. “No, but... Wait, did you say you're going to Fun Zone?”
“Yeah.”
“She's gonna puke in your car.”
Eddie closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever he had just gotten into.
“Yeah, I... I know.”
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