#autism dating

[comradeupdog]

Yeah t4t is great, but have you tried t4t AND A4A (autistic 4 autistic)? Shit is wild!

[thewildefish]

Why I can't get a relationship despite turning 26 now?

People I know reply with usual spiel, “oh, you haven't found them yet”. Really? After 26 years of life, there wasn't even a single person I could've had a go with, even if it was short lived? Yeah right.

My Parents usually reply with "I don't know". Yeah, that's helpful as fk. You slandered me and treated like dirt for years, then cannot wrap your head around why your no-good-for-anything daughter can't find anybody. Go figure.

Nowadays if you're at this age and never been with anyone, it's a red flag from miles off. I'm not blind and notice what people are saying. I'm not going to pretend this isn't a commonly held belief and ignore that. What use is living in denial again?

Now, one time FB suggested some random post about being different and people meaning to accept you if they really respect and like you. Maybe if we continue to wear rose tinted glasses we're going to believe this is true (would be nice if so...), but this is NOT the actual reality. Theory vs in practice.

And I did happen to comment under that, I don't follow social rules blah blah, yet at 26 I'm still single, so clearly this is baloney.

Had the usual pitiful response along the lines of first para, some dude talking about techniques (would be nice if he elaborated ffs), one guy actually stating something helpful - namely that I don't seem to smile much and that scares dudes off - suppose point taken, but I don't smile much for 2 main reasons, one being that I wore braces for nearly a decade and showing teeth made me look hideous in photos so I had to train myself not to in order to spare even more humiliation, and the second one being I don't really have many reasons to smile anyway, so why would I?? My face isn't gonna lie just cause people supposedly want to see it. My face conveys what's really on my mind, simple as that.

And then of course got the dudes who know fuck all about me but felt it was ok to presume my personality must be shit of course. Thing is, despite that, they won't have the bias that people who know me display. So actually, could they be right?

I'm actually sick of hearing all the mollycoddling, all that nonsense about waiting for someone who's right - they're never coming, ok? I'm not gonna carry on deluding myself about something that's an obvious lie. Life is not a fairytale. It's a course of fierce natural selection just like in the rest of animal kingdom, and mentally ill fall to the bottom of the romantically desirable partners chain.

So, who do you think has the REAL answer to this question? Friends (that keep repeating bullshit they've been socially conditioned to believe) or strangers who although misinformed, lack bias towards my person?

Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[whatskraken]

The problem with trying to date an allistic person online is that they will ask directly about your common ground special interests, and then respond by saying “weird I never heard of any of that.”

At this point in my life, it’s an easy way to weed out the types of partners who will ultimately fail to engage.

Yes I am aware of the fact that some folks get overwhelmed by info-dumping. I’m too old to care or apologize anymore for that.

It’s more so when they say something like “I’m such a cheese head! My friends say I’m the most obsessed cheese-monger in the entire world! What are your top favorite cheeses?!” And you give them a short-list of personality-showcasing options that are still accessible/mainstream enough to be recognizable. And even if you push past the response and say “oh I’d be glad to show you sometime— what sorts of cheese do you enjoy?” They say something so off-the-cuff like “I’m vegan, so mainly just dairy-free American slices from Kroger lol.”

[itsaspectrumcomic]

It didn't work out

[catmask]

would love to be a cool stoic guy. unfortunately i never shut up

[astaroth1357]

Mask Off, Nerd Out:

*all of the brothers have just finished a family dinner with MC. The food was nice, but their human has been oddly quiet throughout the whole meal. As the finished plates are getting stacked up, they shoot each other worried glances*

Mammon: *whispers to Satan* Hey, have they being actin' kinda weird to you...?

Satan: *whispers back* So you've noticed...?

Asmo: *comes up behind Satan and joins* Did anyone upset them today? Like you, Mammon?

Mammon: Hey, it wasn't me...!

*while those three keep whispering, Beel comes over to collect MC's plate. They've been sp checked out that they've barely touched their food at all, they just keep bouncing their leg under the table*

Beel: MC? ... Are you going to finish that?

*his question makes MC snap awake briefly, turning to look at him like a deer in headlights before shaking their head*

MC: N-no! No, uh... I'm fine. Go ahead, Beel.

*they push the plate towards him before going back to staring at the table blankly. Beel eats their forgotten meal, but frowns at them between bites*

Beel: Really-mmphhg-? Are you-*gulp*-sure?

MC: *bounces their leg more rapidly, nodding* Yep. Yep. Totally fine!....

*Mammon finally steps away from Satan and Asmo and nudges Beel to the side*

Mammon: Are ya really sure? 'Cause you don't look fine...

MC: *continues to stare at the table like they're mentally screaming inside, at this point nearly vibrating at an atomic level*

MC: Yep, uhm-hm, all fine, totally good!

*Mammon's about to pull their chair back from the table, but Levi suddenly jumps in between them. For once, the timid otaku looks actually confident about something. Damn near certain in fact!*

Levi: Don't worry, I got this. Leave it to me!

Levi: *takes a seat next to MC*

Levi: MC. Is there something you're hoping to talk about right now?

*MC nearly breaks their neck with how quick they turn to face him, eyes locked on and body finally going still. Slowly... an ecstatic grin starts to brighten their face*

MC: Ohmygod,soIjuststartedthismanga,right,aboutaworldwerepeoplesometimesturnintothesemonsterscalledChoujinandthemaincharacterislike-

*MC keeps talking a mile a minute while Levi nods along happily and the other brothers look at them like they're aliens, but also seem visibly relieved...*

Mammon: Ah. They just had to nerd out, I guess...

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I love how instead of the Bad Kids getting into a tangled mess of relationships it’s their parents who are all dating each other

[bobosbillionsknives]

Something I drew for my one year Knives autism anniversary!!! 🥳🥳🥳 Happy one year Knivesites!!

[alcoholicweiwuxian]

bestiessssss <3

click for better quality; tumblr eats lines

[comradeupdog]

As a person with autism I think I finally learned how to flirt:

1. bully the interested party about some frivolous and possible untrue thing (preferably about a kink they don’t have but you accuse them of having)

2. Do a bit on the internet with them

3. Do the classic “oh i’m stretching, yawn... oh no my arm is on you/my head is on your shoulder, be crazy if i kept it there, hahahaha.... Unless????”

4. more bullying, again either about some little detail no one could possible care about and/or something very untrue (like about how much they posts on tumblr.com)

5. Finding one thing that you do that they find kinda hot and just doing it at every opportunity.

6. Find a nickname that would only make sense to an outsider with about a half-hour of backstory and/or extreme embarrassment for all parties

7. Info dump (while doing 5 if possible)

8. Learn some Shakespeare love molouges, but forget it halfway through trying to do a monologue

9. Bully them a bit more, but this time about things they actually do have (it has to be light hearted and its best if its completely hypocritical of you to bully them for it)

10. Sing a song to them

alright go forth an flirt!

[goosepool]

Date night idea! We watch Deadpool and Wolverine and I tell you every easter egg and cameo in the film while you sit in silence and listen to me

[bootleg-nessie]

Neurotypicals’ idea of flirting is dropping really subtle hints and refusing to communicate clearly and effectively and then getting upset when nobody can read their mind or pick up on said imperceptibly small hints

[moon0shadow]

[herrens-hand]

i don't understand dates. is that not just hanging out?

[afinestoutlove]

I'm really, truly sick of seeing people claim to "fight autism stigma" by yelling about how "not all autistic people are asexual". Yeah, it's true, but like... so? A lot of us are ace/aro/demi and that doesn't make us less capable or worthy of love??

Trying to destigmatise autism by pointing out the autistics who experience romantic and sexual attraction is aphobia, plain and simple. It just reinforces the idea that normative romantic/sexual attraction is "better" than other ways of being the in the world. Being ace/aro/demi doesn't mean we don't love or form connection (how does this still need saying). We just do it in a bunch of different ways and that's okay actually. The fact that we form a whole range of different types of relationships and challenge normative assumptions about friendship, family, romance, and sex is one of our greatest strengths.

Instead of going "but autistics also want romance" how about you say "autistics experience all kinds of love and desire and maybe you could learn something from us". How about you say "autistics don't need to be allo to be worth listening to or knowing". How about you say "assuming autistics are miserable or tragic if they're ace/aro is ableist and aphobic".

Pointing out all the allo autistics just further stigmatises the rest of us, and stigmatises non-autistic ace/aro/demi folk, and I'm so sick of it. If the only autism you can destigmatise is allo then you're not destigmatising shit and you can take several seats. (I'm also looking at you, allo autistics who happily throw your ace/aro/demi siblings under the bus in the name of "autism acceptance". We see you. You're not promoting autism acceptance, you're just aphobic.)