#au where adam is the game master and the them are the players!!!!!!

[henriiiii-1001old]

time to do a silly over here hey is it okay to ask u to pick one au u have, how would the aus cast do in among us. like who the fuck rages. i shit you not someone ran to the emergency button in a game i was in instead of reporting a body, i was very mad. werent even the imposter either. also hi other person who knows who i am. -silly

anyways i have the PERFECT THING to explain how theyd play among us :33333

introducing: tmc as the morning lobby/hafu lobby!!!!!

you dont need to know who they are to understand, just know that i am insane over them and i love among us videos sm still <333333

SO FIRST!!!! we have mark and sarah as 5up and hafu. 5up and hafu are noted as an iconic sibling duo, very much like the heathcliff siblings. they are also MASTER among us players, most notable for their incredible impostor plays (esp when together as an impostor duo). but besides that, mark and sarah play EXTREMELY well and like order to balance out the chaps of the lobbies.

next up we have jonah and adam the iconic dumb and dumber duo, dk and steve, respectively. they mostly do a lot of trolling. dk is mostly known in his older days for “throwing” a lot of the games, which i just have a feeling jonah would do a LOT. he does get a lot better overtime though!!! as for adam, he gets steve bc steve’s demeanor just 100% matches w adam man. and the lobby has claimed that steve can “roleplay as himself”, which is kind of what adam has been doing his entire life. dumb and dumber can be a powerful duo if they dont throw each other under the bus in the first round and have had some killer games!!!

next up i have thatcher as dumbdog. dumbdog is usually seen in a dark green color, which my brain just went “oh yeah thatcher lol.” however, dumbdog is a mix of a serious and silly player, going along with bits that he thinks are funny but also still being serious when he needs to be. i just think that captures thatcher SO WELL. also dumbdog’s laugh is just so good i might just make it thatcher’s laugh i love it sm.

next we have dave as junkyard. the entire thing with junk is that he’s the oldest in the group, and i think dave would play that role very well even if he’s not necessarily the oldest.

and this is where things get blurry. im not sure who would be who at this point, so i’ll just give a lil rundown of everyone else’s playstyles.

ruth is also a serious and silly player but leans more towards silly. maybe she’d be a good kara? idk

WAIT EVELIN IS MAYBE JANET. i mostly know janet for being so focused on being her role, especially snitch, and its just really entertaining imo. i just feel like evelin would be the same way, hyperfocusing on playing her role and such.

the alts are. okay at the game ig. gabe’s mostly alright but when he’s crew he’ll just get sussed for no reason and it pisses him off to hell and back. six is a VERY silly player. he’s probably a really good jester ngl. stanley i’d say is the best one! very tactical and plans out a lot of their actions. plays really good as both crew and impostor. puppet can be a REALLY good impostor if he knows how the specific role works. he does like to do a bit of fuckery here and there though bc he just likes being so silly goofy.

i didnt almost forget eden (lying) and soeaking of i feel like he’s still getting hsed to the game, likes to call too many buttons, gets caught too often, and misreads a lot of situations. but hymn’s still learning!!! he’s got a long way to go!!!!

uuhhh thats kinda all i have for now ig! also i probably should have clarified this is mostly for unholy gift.

[the-silver-chronicles]

I really need to talk about my other OCs and their stories besides Silva.

Read my ravings below if you’re brave enough.

Like Nadi Sinclair and Alexander Khaos, one is a veteran OC from the Call Of Duty franchise while the other was an OC apart of an adapted version of the We Happy Few game, and both end up as members of Eden’s Gate (with Nadi John’s right hand while Alexander is Jacob’s). Minor inclusion is Crawford Klaus who is the main antagonist of Alexander’s story (and is set to appear in another work from the second saga of The UnTitledverse)

There’s also Gavin Turquoise who is a lawyer in the events of Far Cry The Silver Chronicles but is an OC belonging to the Welcome To The Game franchise. And he’s seen some shit, along with another OC, Schrödinger, who originally came from my The UnTitledverse universe, and is planned to appear in the third saga.

Isiah Popov (heist master) and Gemini Teal (spymaster who’s also the nibling of Paul’s fiancé) are a comedic pair I have been busting my ass to give an origin story for, and found myself fitting them into the Six Of Crows duology from the Grishaverse.

Can’t forget the few minority of good Enforcers, mainly Tyrone Gravel.

There’s also still so much to talk about Silva and her family + friends, like her half-sister Elsa, her first love Irene, her daughters (biological and adopted) Persephone, Azriel and Mercy, her doctor (and Irene’s father) Kamski Neon, his “wife”/closest friend Zari, Elsa’s love interest and one of Silva’s best friends Ezekiel, his mentor Al (formerly Alvarich), members of the Tumultite community, and Paul’s fiancé Obadiah Teal (plus Obadiah’s currently unnamed sister who is the mother of Gemini).

There’s also the antagonists apart of the Congregation of Adam’s Guard and the Apostles of Zachariah. Father Adam Omar (embodiment of hypocrisy) is a major player in Silva and Elsa’s life and a direct influence in her traumas, there’s also his Enforcers such as Captain Oscar Lapis (pretty much the sociopathic leader), Rodriguez (man should not be near children), Enrique (plays sadistic mind games while gathering information), some others I have yet to name and Ernest Stallone (probably the noblest antagonist out of the Enforcers and plays a major role in the smaller AUs). Denise Lapis (maiden name, Redwood) is a minor character who goes on to appear and play major roles in Life, Despair & Monsters and The UnTitledverse (she has her own little arc). There’s also Paul Yellowjack and his tragic fallen hero status that I think about often. Now the rest of the heralds of the Apostles of Zachariah (e.g. Nashira Sargas, Adaro, Fýredel, John Gaius and Zhan Tiri) are not OCs, but adaptations of existing characters from existing mediums who appear as themselves in The UnTitledverse but as humans here (this was before Zachariah granted them superpowered reincarnation, an origin really).

There’s also other characters who appear in AUs of the main story, such as the Holy Triad lead by a character known as “the Crown” and where Judge!Silva originates, the Deserters (may update name) who split from the Holy Triad and are now disgraced from the Far Cry The Judge’s Duty AU. The Prophet Hunters (Manticore, Medusa, Behemoth, Harpy and Leviathan plus Harbinger!Silva) who serve the Apostles and act as primary antagonists against Elsa, Ezekiel and Al, who have taken the protagonist mantle in Far Cry The Harbinger’s Salvation AU. Azriel has character focus in several works (excluding the Wings And Horns) such as Far Cry El Industrial’s Reign, Far Cry Death’s Call and Far Cry Jannah’s Promise (alongside Industrial!Silva and Scavenger!Silva who appear in the first and last respectively). There’s also Phillip (a new God who governed the Far Cry universe alongside the Voice) and the Curse (originally the Snake that helped Eve burn down the Garden of Eden and then had a really messy breakup with her which lead to it being cursed) who mentor and help Reverend!Silva come to power in Far Cry The Reverend’s Rule.

It would be wrong of me not to mention the Tarot Card Holder and Priestess Lillith (not to be confused with Biblical Lilith). One has goals that has ambiguous intentions, while the other has benevolent intentions (towards Silva, being her egg donor and feeling bad that a piece of her fell to Adam Omar of all people) though is still pretty ambiguous in her methods. Mostly these two mess with the Seeds and make fun of the Voice. Another thing, Lillith is the human reincarnation of the Snake/Curse, and lives in a Coven of witches (which she leads) who worship her pre-reincarnation self.

I still am developing my other Far Cry stories, just busy with this FC5 + New Dawn part at the moment. I’ll update when I get a solid idea for those ones.

There’s probably so much more, but I’m planning make some more posts about all of this some time in the next month or two.

My brain power has run dry, that’s all folks.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

what's the die thing that you mentioned in the tags of that d&d post?

I know you said to disregard this ask because you checked back through my tag, but I am…reading the rules set for the DIE RPG and I am…expiring with glee, so I’m going to actually subpoena this ask as a chance to grandstand about my current favorite comic.

DIE, the current comic coming from the excellent Kieron Gillen, is basically what would happen if DnD and Jumanji had an extremely goth baby, ft the artistic stylings of Stephanie Hans.  If any of those words in any configuration made sense/interest you, this is my usual plea to trust me and buy the trade paperback that just came out, Fantasy Heartbreaker, rather than reading the rest of my hollering.

Anyway, on to the hollering.

DIE focuses on six friends who played a game when they were teenagers.  That game went great!  Right up until it sucked them all inside, trapped them there as their characters as they fought to escape, and kept their game master–permanently.

Now the five that are left are in their forties and have never told a single living soul what happened when they went missing for two months and came back short one person (and, in the case of Angela, short one arm).  When it becomes obvious that someone is trying to remind them of The Game That Shall Not Be Named, they get together again to try and figure it out, and…

Well, they end up right back where they started, courtesy of their long-lost friend and game master, Sol, who’s been sure to keep the world of Die in perfect condition just for them.  If they want to go back, Sol either needs to agree to leave with them, or he needs to die.

Roll the title card.

The characters are:

Dominic Ash, star of the show: Dom is a chronically depressed man in his forties in the real world, who tragically lost his best friend in a mysterious accident and has drifted from his friends ever since.  In the game, she’s Ash, the ethereally beautiful Dictator, who can make you do anything, feel anything, with a word and a smile.  The Dictator archetype is basically a bard, if bards were fucking eldritch horrors of emotional mind-control, and Ash is…terrifying, mostly because when she’s feeling desperate, everyone is fair game.  I’d die for my monstrous wife.  Also I firmly believe Ash is a trans woman accidentally living her truth in a nightmare world, and neither God nor Kieron Gillen can stop me.  In fact I think Kieron Gillen may agree with me.

Angela: Ash/Dom’s little sister, who lost an arm in Die the first time and now is absolutely ruthlessly determined to escape in time for the custody hearing for her kids.  She’s the Neo, which is half rogue, half cyberpunk warrior, and all addict–where most adventurers steal gold for the sake of the gold, the Neo’s powers are all dependent on being able to pay.  If you can pay, you can hack reality, full on Matrix-style.  If you can’t pay…well, I guess you have a knife, huh?

Chuck: the Fool, and the only one who was willing to face the idea of a fantasy novel after their first trip to Die.  In fact, he made a killing as a famous author of fantasy novels, all while working around Ash’s geas against speaking of their misadventure.  As the Fool, he can do anything, fight anything, survive anything, as long as he’s cocky and careless and grinning.  He’s unkillable as long as he doesn’t give a damn.  Whether or not his friends survive is…less certain.

Matt: a loving father who has long since gotten a handle on his teenage depression, which makes it inconvenient that he’s the Grief Knight.  Emotion Knights are unstoppable tanks, able to take anything anyone throws at them and dish it out twice as hard–but only as long as they’re immersed in their Emotion.  Matt’s their fighter, the one they depend on to save their asses when everything goes to hell, but it’s been a long time since he grieved hard enough to kill a dragon.

Isabelle: a brilliant and beautiful bilingual bitch, their Godbinder.  The Godbinder is half demonologist, half mafia godfather–Isabelle does favors, and she reaps the rewards.  I feel like all you need to know about Isabelle as a person is that the first time she summons a deity, he tries to get uppity with her and she snarls “You’re just a god, now do it.”  God she’s…so sexy.  I had other stuff to say about her but…listen…the power.  She’s so hot.  I love everyone in this bar but especially Isabelle and Ash.

Sol: Die is a game and Sol is the Master.  Reality is what he says.  And he says that he wants his friends to pay for leaving him.

The first arc, now compiled into Fantasy Heartbreaker, is INCREDIBLE and I’m going to tell you absolutely nothing else about it because it’s so good.  PLEASE read this incredibly fucked up DnD-as-horror-movie Jumanji comic.

[drsilverfish]

Game of the Gods - 15x08 Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven

Hey fellow-travellers,

Well done to everyone who speculated Rowena would be the new Queen of Hell!

I’ve just watched the ep. I’m late catching up (and as usual, haven’t jumped into your posts yet, to avoid spoilers) because, here in the UK, we had a very bad, not good, general election result this morning and I’ve been completely sucker punched by it all day.  

Anyhoo, Bucklemming did OK with this one. I mean, it doesn’t, perhaps, have quite all the intricate layers of some of our better writers, but hey, it’s got all the moving parts, including the return of Jungian Self and Shadow-Self metaphor in spades (and a healthy, hopeful integrated version at that, as Adam and Michael!Adam get along and share control of consciousness and the vessel). It also contains plenty of pregnant subtext between Dean and Cas, including <drumroll> a mooted return to Purgatory together where, remember, “It felt pure” (in subtext - between them) and Dean prayed to Cas every night. 

But, leaving those elements to one side for now, I thought I’d talk first about this shot of Cas, praying to Michael with a chessboard prominently in shot:

Which, in the context of the story, reminded me of this:

“In their dwellings at peace they played at tables

Of gold no lack did the gods then know” 

That’s a quote is from the Poetic Edda, a medieval manuscript containing Old Norse poems, which tells something of pagan Norse mythology. 

The quote is about a golden age of the Gods, which comes into being after Ragnarok, the terrible end of the world battle between the Gods and the Giants. In this “end times” battle (as you know) many Gods die and the world is destroyed. However, a new world is born out of the old one, and the surviving Gods are at peace, playing an old Germanic board game, a bit like chess, in Heaven in a new Golden Age. 

This cyclical narrative, where apocalypse leads to renewal, is also present in the Bible in the famous passage in Revelations 21:

“And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.

And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (King James Bible)

Chuck has declared, in 14x20 Moriah, “Welcome to the End!” (aka he has declared Ragnarok) and we see him with a chess board in 14x04 Atomic Monsters:

He is, of course, trying to manipulate his “favourite story”, Sam and Dean Winchester, like chess pieces on a board. However, Cas, as we’ve all observed, seems to be outside Chuck’s favoured misery dude-bro plot - a murder-suicide, in which one Winchester kills the other and then themselves. So, the image of Cas with the chessboard in 15x08 tells us that Cas, too (like Chuck) has power over the “chess board”, aka the Game of the Gods. 

Indeed, if my Edda quote proves fruitful, the narrative is telling us that, after this great battle with God (in which some of our heroes may die, at least temporarily) there will be a renewal. Perhaps this is the “Paradise” Jack promised Cas from the womb. 

I mentioned that there was a reference in 15x06 Golden Time to Vonnegut’s novel Breakfast of Champions (Dean, grief-eating cereal as a result of his break-up with Cas, refers to it as “breakfast of champions” at the start of the episode) in this post here:

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/189338866109/me-every-relevant-point-now-forever-onwards-for

Dean and Chuck, of course, we know are both Vonnegut fans, thanks to their exchange about Vonnegut in 4x18 The Monster at the End of this Book - very meta, as Chuck, like Vonnegut, likes to insert a character version of himself (Chuck Shurley) into his stories. 

Breakfast of Champions provides a guide for the possible renewal-after-Ragnarok ending of SPN, because in that novel, the writer is persuaded to let go of the control of his characters - to grant them freedom aka true free will.

 Vonnegut also wrote a short story, called “All the King’s Horses” (1951) about a deadly game of chess between a captured US Army Colonel and his guerilla-fighter leader captor (set during the Cold War). 

The captor, Pi Ying, orders that whenever the Colonel, Kelly, loses a chess piece, one of the men captured with him will be executed. That sounds a lot like Chuck, right? Playing a deadly game of chess with his Winchester Gospels’ protagonists and killing those they love for sport in the game, just as he threatens the lives of Jodie, Donna and Eileen in 15x08 (NB: notice he’s trying to erase the feminine from the narrative again!!!).

Eventually, the Colonel, in Vonnegut’s story, realises he can only win the chess game if he sacrifices one of his knights on the board, but these are being “played” by his sons (also captured with him). Just before Pi Ying kills Kelly’s kid, he is himself murdered by his guerilla-fighter girlfriend, who has been watching the cruel chess game along with him (she then kills herself). One of Pi Ying’s men takes over the game, but Kelly wins and so the remaining hostages are freed.

A deadly chess game, the (almost) sacrifice of a son... sounds like Castiel;s son Jack’s sacrifice by Chuck in 14x20 Moriah, right? And presages Jack’s re-entry into the “game”.

We have seen Cas pictured with chess boards before, notably in 8x08 Hunter Heroici:

And, given the numerical symmetry - 15x08/ 8x08 (which season 14 established as a definite “thing” - calling back previous episodes numerically, Ouroboros style) I think this call-back is deliberate. 

In Hunter Heroici, the psychokinetic resident of retirement home Sunset Fields, Fred Jones, is being manipulated, in his vulnerable state, by one of the doctors to use his powers to alter reality so the doc and his accomplice can pull off a series of thefts (e.g. creating cartoon holes for escape purposes).  

Someone powerful enough to alter reality? That becomes a metaphor for Chuck, in this call-back (which, also reminds us of Chip Harrington in 14x15 Peace of Mind). 

Cas eventually brings peace to Fred Jones, by mind-stripping him of his powers so he can’t hurt anyone else (at his request) and then staying with him to play music in his mind for a while in the retirement home. 

This episode, 8x08, is also right in the middle of the narrative in which Castiel himself is being manipulated by Naomi, and the Winchesters (at this point) don’t know it yet. More manipulation of reality by dubious powers of Heaven parallels!

All this ties in quite nicely with Donatello’s attempt to find a clue in the Demon Tablet to being able to lock up Chuck, and which AU!Michael, apparently, gives Team Free Will a spell for at the end of 15x08.

Castiel, master-tactician that he is (never forget the chess game he played with the angels using Biggersons restaurants in quantum super-position in 8x21 The Great Escapist) has a significant part to play in this final chess game with God himself. He’s a powerful player on the board, and a tactician with influence over the board, precisely because Chuck continually discounts him.

[skip-to-my-lup]

The YouTuber au none of you wanted

Taako

It's a cooking channel. Obviously.

Generally speaking, it's mostly the weirdest challenges that he can think of (feat. Whoever is over at the time).

His highest viewed videos are from his Don't Get Me Started series where he goes off about the best way to cook the item of the day.

From a rant series you'd expect them to be nonsense, but they are surprisingly educational as well.

Magnus

His main channel is a DIY channel.

Once every two weeks he posts a new tutorial on how to make something amazing out of wood.

On his off weeks he posts asmr wood/soap carving videos. Some of them are from the previous week, but if he posted a non carving video he does a special one.

His most viewed video is his asmr duck carving video.

Merle

Only has a few meme and react videos at first, but is a featured guest on other channels.

After a while he starts doing story time and vlog ish videos and a lot of people love it.

Makes a lot of peptalk videos.

Lucretia

Straight up vlogger.

She has a small but loyal fan base. Occasionally people will come because one of her videos features one of the others, but those that stay stay for her.

If you ask her, it's the whole groups' vlogging channel, but when she delves into topics it's all her.

Davenport

Helps direct and edit a lot of the other's content.

He's somewhat a mythical being that fans never see, but occasionally hear in the background. Gets called Cap'nport so much that no one really knows his name.

Appears a lot on Lucretia's channel. If she has 'nothing better to do' she'll bother him while he's editing. (He doesn't mind all that much)

Lup

She does stunts and extreme feats.

Her channel started as a parkour channel, but she's branched out to all sorts of other things.

She is notorious for changing her channel's theme when she gets bored, but it's always her doing what makes her happy.

One constant, though, are her serious talks about gender and sexuality on her second channel. She often takes questions, brings in experts, and just overall puts out good information out there.

Barry

He is definitely the let's player out of the group.

He loves playing games with narrative and is known for doing long series for games.

He also tends to nerd out over anything scientific as he is working on his PhD in Biology.

It eventually comes out that he's apprenticed as a mortician in the past. He tries not to talk about it too much, but he does tell a few funny stories here and there.

The seven birds

They all constantly collab with each other.

They also all live in the same city. They've joked about everyone living together, but it's not feasible . At the moment at least.

Lup, Barry, Taako, and Kravitz all live together.

The twins have never really considered living without each other so it just makes sense.

Kravitz and Barry don't mind, though it is a bit awkward at first since Barry used to apprentice under Kravitz when he was working on his master's...

Lucretia, Davenport and Merle live together. Merle had married soon after high school, but it was decided that it'd be better for him to live somewhere else. Mavis and Mookie come by sometimes.

Magnus lives with his wife Julia. They are happy love each other so much.

At some point this kid named Angus comes into their lives. Fans have spotted him a couple of times, but Taako is adamant about maintaining the kid's privacy.

[samwell-actually]

Holsom Fic-Rec

Although I have my all-time favorite OMGCP fic bookmarked on my Ao3 page, I wanted to compile a master list of all of my favorite OMGCP Ao3 fic to have in one place on my tumblr. And since I’m that neurotic, I thought it might also be nice to break-up each ship as well: 

Two Minutes for Holding | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k Ransom is a team physician and Holster is a referee. They first meet on the ice during a particularly physical Aces v. Falcs game.

not funny | applecrumbledore One-Shot, 9k This whole thing feels so weird, like they're betraying some clause of the homosocial bro code that says it's only for fun, you can't actually be gay, like they're letting someone down. But on the other hand, being with each other is the most natural thing they've ever done. Like a chemical reaction, or two halves of something whole, or one of those hand puzzles where the two pieces of metal are all twisted around each other, or the logical and satisfying conclusion of a really good book.

Score | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 12k Ransom and Holster like to score goals for each other, and they like to take care of each other. It was probably just a matter of time before those two things became entangled.

What I Wanted Was to Fall Asleep | halfabreath One-Shot, 5k The gods are real, which everyone knows, but when they’re not fighting among themselves they’re usually partying and humans have generally learned to accept their meddling without too much complaining. Ransom just never thought he’d actually know someone who’d been god-touched and he never, ever expected that it would be Holster. Alternatively: Holster becomes a tree.

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships | EllyAvon Completed Multi-Chapter, 6k HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life. OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever. OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame | sunfair One-Shot, 4k Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

BFFWB | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 7k Ransom's schedule this semester leaves no time for a sex life. Holster has a solution for that. (Set fall 2014)

Seasonal Drinks | rhysiana Completed Multi-Chapter, 1k An AU in which Ransom and Holster never met in college. Thank goodness for the local coffee shop.

someone as good for me as you | astrolesbian One-Shot, 7k “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?” “What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms. His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

what is the meaning of this? | kleinergruenerkaktus Multi-Part Series, 13k Ransom has a system, and it was working just fine before Holster came along.

There Were Fireflies | Schuyler One-Shot, 3k Holster has never been weird about shit like this before. They’ve been friends for, what? Almost a decade? And Holster has never said anything bad about guys who date other guys. Hell, they lived in a house with Jack and Bits. But Ransom goes on two dates with a guy and Holster goes ballistic.

blink back to let me know | nighimpossible One-Shot, 4k Justin is a medical student in Boston and Holster is working in New York.Things were a lot easier before they became real people.

Here’s a Man in Evenin’ Clothes | halfabreath One-Shot, 5k Ransom's estimating that they've got another 3.75 hours until the last people trickle out of the Haus. 3.75 hours, 225 minutes.Holster grins, flushed and disheveled and handsome as Justin has ever seen him, and suddenly he knows he's not going to be able to wait another 225 minutes before kissing him. Or: Epikegster toga porn

Keep It | petals42_tumbler (rosepetals42) Completed Multi-Chapter, 18k At the start of their senior year, Ransom is dating March and Holster is okay. Of course he is. Except when he's not.

cabin fever | theghostofjamespotter One-Shot, 5k “Dude. You didn’t score a single goal.” He’s beaming, chin resting on Ransom’s thigh. “And you came in like, under five minutes.” or, the forfeit fifa fic no one has asked for. just bros being bros and somehow accidentally hooking up.

How to Romance a Hockey Player | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 7k After Holster comes out, Ransom needs a plan. A plan to make his best friend fall in love with him. What could possibly go wrong?

the lucky ones | screamlet Completed Multi-Chapter, 17k They made the decision to drive to Myrtle Beach when Holster found the fucking sweetest cottage near the beach.

guard/hit/hammer | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k Justin Oluransi is a gold medalist, and he has no idea what he's doing. (Ransom and Holster's first kiss happens on a tiny couch on the world's biggest stage.)

first love, late spring | lehtonen One-Shot, 12k “Right.” Ransom still looks serious, but there’s a sinister glint in his eye that Holster gloomily recognises as contemplation. “What’s in it for us?”Holster whips his head round to stare at him so fast his neck twinges in three different places. “Nothing is in it for us,” he hisses sotto voce, “or did you not hear the part where we’d be dating?”

Ransom and Holster’s Guide to Shennanigans | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 8k Ransom and Holster have been together since June, but they keep it low key. Maybe even a little too low key. Shenanigans ensue because, hey, it's awfully hard for the team to set them up when they've already been dating for months.

Just bros being bros | blue_eyed, growlery One-Shot, 7k Rans and Holster have a busy semester, so they start planning their bro-time. But its not like they're dating, right?

all my time is yours as is mine | halfabreath One-Shot, 1k No one knows how long Holster's been alive. No one knows how much time Ransom has left. Everyone knows about things. Not everyone has one, but everyone that does has a different word for it. Gifts. Abilities. Talents. Purpose. Superpowers. Quirks. Most things are small, but sometimes, in very rare circumstances, they’re all encompassing and terrifying. There’s a reason Ransom and Holster call them curses.

Give a Little Bit (of Your Time to Me) | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Completed Multi-Chapter, 21k In a world where Adam Birkholtz never went to Samwell, he loses a beer pong bet to Lardo and winds up refereeing a rec hockey game for one freshly broken-hearted Justin Oluransi. For once in his life, Justin is totally out of his league.

Adam Birkholtz's Foolproof Guide to the Perfect Birthday | akadiene One-Shot, 6k On March 28th, 2016, Justin Oluransi, co-captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team and love of Holster’s life, is turning 23. It's also the day Holster dies.

Always Halfway to Go | halfabreath Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 33k While at Samwell, Ransom gets a job at the Rec center teaching water aerobics. Generally his class is filled to the brim with old ladies and their husbands, so he’s shocked to arrive at class at the beginning of the semester and find Adam Birkholtz, ex-hockey player, who’s there to supplement his physical therapy with gentle cardio.Things only get more complicated from there.

Detachment Studies | Tiptoe39 Completed Multi-Chapter, 4k A soulmate doesn't always mean a lover. But it does mean an attachment that's hard when it breaks. Luckily, there's the field of detachment studies -- how to mitigate the cognitive damage done when one loses a soulmate. Ransom's going to become a specialist in the field and prove that there's life after detachment. And he's going to practice what he preaches -- by leaving his own soulmate behind.

Salt-Mates | orphan account One-Shot, 4k Losing is dog in the park, Adam Birkholtz is pretty sure he's about to experience his worst day. Until he finds his dog sat quietly with a gorgeous man on a bench, a Harry Potter book in his hand, giving a lecture to the animal about the tragedy that befell Remus Lupin. That's when things get a little bit...strange.

This is Why We’re Medical Proxies | SecretGeniusShittyKnight One-Shot, 4k Holster gets sick. Then he gets a hospital stay. Then he gets high. Then he gets a boyfriend.

pH balance | alcatraz One-Shot, 2k “I can’t believe you have a crush on a white boy who unironically wears cut-off sweatpants,” she says gleefully. “This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Have We Been Boyfriends This Whole Time? | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k Post-college socializing is harder to organize than Ransom expected. Fortunately, his best bro is there for him. In every way.

Future Perfect | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Completed Multi-Chapter, 14k WANTED: COMMITTED MONOGAMOUS COUPLES Are you and your significant other in a committed, monogamous relationship? Have you been dating for at least six months? Are you living together? If you meet these criteria (and you are at least 18 years old), you may be eligible to participate in a COMPENSATED study (up to $300) on love and decision making. Please call 617-555-7864 or email romance.jenningslab@samwell.edu. The moment he sees the sign, Holster knows he's struck gold. The only problem is, he and Ransom aren't technically dating. But who are romance and technicalities to stand in the way of a business scheme that's bound to go according to plan?

Tailspinners | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k In which Holster runs a literacy non-profit, Ransom is a pediatrician new to town, and Bitty is the Youth Services librarian who brings them together.

don we now our fake romances | DizzyRedhead One-Shot, 4k Justin notices that Holster is looking a little run-down. But there's no problem that their awesome broness can't solve. Right?

wanna be your romeo | leetlebird Completed Multi-Chapter, 50k Holster's always said 'fuck the lax bros,' but when he meets Ransom, a new transfer student on the lacrosse team, Holster realizes he wants to be a gentleman and date a lax bro first. (Ransom doesn't think Holster's too bad, either.) As Ransom and Holster navigate their own secret relationship, their teams band together to get Nursey and Dex to stop fighting by any means necessary - even if that means setting them up on a date. (Romeo and Juliet AU + Much Ado about Nothing AU. Dramatic misunderstandings can only be solved with One Direction, secret make-out sessions, snickerdoodles, Jerry's dates, and - finally - some communication.)

Literary Inspirations | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Multi-Part Series, 15k The possibilities of life are infinite, but time is not. Certain things, like college years, like hockey careers, like the time for your best friend to fall in love with you, have expiration dates. Justin's just afraid he's missed his chance.

the masculinisation and romanticisation of art criticism through the framework of sports-related injuries (or, gross and beautiful) | heyfightme One-Shot, 2k ransom is a gross pre-med hockey boy. holster indulges him. art is created.

The One with All the Kissing | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k In which Holster messes up, gets way more action than he anticipates, and really is Chandler.

The New Ref | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k Ransom is the on-call emergency dentist at the Falconers' games. Holster is the new ref. Lardo and Shitty are matchmaking busybodies.

The World Still Spins | lecrivaineanonyme One-Shot, 5k Justin had first learned about the theory of paradigm shifts back in junior year during his class on the history and philosophy of science. It was just another definition for one of the short answers in the midterm exam: a fundamental change in the basic concepts of and experimental practices within a given scientific discipline. It was a benign factoid to be stored away, something to be revisited in a later essay: compare and contrast the views of Thomas Kuhn and Karl Popper on the scientific process. He hadn’t understood just how jarring such a fundamental shift could be until he broke up with Adam. (Happy ending!)

Homecoming | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 10k Each December, Justin brings Holster home for Christmas. Each time, it means something new.

Division One Defense Duo To Reunite Saturday | the ghostofjamespotter One-Shot, 1k Flyers Defenseman Justin Oluransi will play against Adam Birkholtz of the Pittsburgh Penguins, for the first time since the two were college D-partners.

Bittle Birkholtz Brousins | halfabreath Multi-Part Series, 19k When Eric Bittle is 8 years old his Aunt Judy marries a Northeasterner named Jacob Birkholtz and suddenly he’s not the weirdest cousin anymore, it’s this gangly 12 year old named Adam who Did Not Want to move to Georgia and now they’re stuck in the same town together.

Bull City Blues | rhysiana Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 11k In which Ransom chooses Duke for medical school, the boys move to Durham, and Holster has to figure out what to do with his life.

One Dance | palateens Complete Multi-Chapter, 7k If he remembers any part of them making out and promptly passing out on the couch the next morning, he doesn’t mention it. Justin would rather avoid making things weird with his best friend while he’s still searching for his soulmate. She’s out there somewhere, and she’s everything he’s ever dreamed of.

The Final Rose | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 7k Justin Oluransi quits his job and goes on the reality dating TV show The Bachelor looking to find love. It should be simple, but what he finds is nothing he (or Bachelor host Adam Birkholtz) could ever have imagined of in their wildest dreams.

[theloniousbach]

A Listener’s Y/ear in Jazz

WGTE’s Jazz Spectrum’s Best of 2018 list  has been a guide for this week at least and, I suspect, longer.

I’m not ready to offer my own list, but I’ve been listening and exploring enough to have opinions, familiarity with your choices, and favorites.  But these recommendations remain helpful and formative.

I do think they missed one though.  The Sons of Kemet’s “My Queen is a Reptile�� is remarkable.  Shabeka Hutchings, the leader of a vibrant scene in London where the rich cultures of the Empire enrich one another, in front of a churning rhythm section of two drummers anchored by a tuba, is raucous, riffy, and fun.

Another list had Tia Fuller’s “Diamond Cut” which has more than a few moments, including several cuts with a Dave Holland/Jack DeJohnette rhythm section, but I won’t lobby for it.  I am seeing Fuller at our venue so I want to know her playing better going into that show (a “workshop” which seems to mean a collection of compatible players together but not a working band) with Sean Jones and Warren Wolf.  She chose to work with Adam Rogers on guitar rather than a pianist and one tune the first time through was a bit too smooth.  But she’s a smart player with some grit, but there are better this year.

I also listened to Jure Pukl’s “Doubtless” during a survey of pianoless/guitarless quartets, not the least of which is that Melissa Aldana is the other tenor player.  It’s worthy of consideration, but I won’t go to the mat to add it to the list.I saw Aldana with her quartet last season and look forward to seeing her with Marquis Hill and Emmet Cohen in another workshop gig at our venue.  I value her playing very much for the invention and the way she fills space with focused tone.  That is, she sounds big without honking.

I will think about women players for a more developed essay but have already homed in on some of those albums and discuss them here.

Allison MIller and Carmen Staaf’s “Science Fair” is a favorite as Miller’s drumming is a prime example of what I’ve noticed at shows of drummers playing accompaniment not just rhythm.  She has a short “Jazz Night in America” video on melodic drumming that helped me understand and frame what’s going on under my nose.  Her tunes are fascinating little puzzles for musicians to solve.   Staaf is a welcome contributor too.  But Miller has also worked in Boom Tic Boom with Myra Melford so her Snowy Egret band was another first one to check out this week.  She has a strong bracing vision, but I’m learning her language and so finding her work increasingly appealing and accessible.  She commands attention but she gives you a way in without compromising or watering down.

Similarly, the Andrew Cyrille/Wadada Leo Smith/Bill Frisell album is rigorous but inviting with layers of conversation.  I’ve found all three somewhat intimidating in the past but I’m growing into the challenges and becoming more familiar with conventions.  I heard Cyrille first with Cecil Taylor who viewed his instrument as 88 drums, so his actual drummer had lots to keep up with.  Here he can be more subtle and his intelligence as a musician is more accessible.  Frisell, it seems to me, has tics and has been a taste that I haven’t fully acquired.  But here his shadings work.  It is probably Smith who makes it work as, though his is the lead voice, he listens empathetically to the others. There are some wonderful duo albums on the list. 

I am surprised at how much I like Mark Turner with Ethan Iverson.  I regret not knowing more of Turner’s tone, fluidity, and taste.  It’s warm and intimate, well suited to the setting with Iverson.  While late to the game with The Bad Plus, I am more fond both of what Reid Anderson and Dave King bring to that band and now the earthiness that Orrin Evans has injected as the new piano guy (so, see Never Stop II from the list).  Iverson here is a good conversationalist (not surprising given the ethic of The BP) without some of the tics or maybe it was just fatigue at the end of The BP.

I wish Charlie Haden and Brad Mehldau hadn’t started with such a slow “Au Privave” on their duo album.  It’s all medium tempo and that mostly works because they are both such masters of the craft.  Perhaps Mehldau was still growing as a protege of Haden’s at the time, but he was always promising.  The rest of the set are tunes to savor, particularly in these thoughtful readings.  But “Au Privave” should be more of a bebop burner.  I will see Mehldau and his trio to wrap up the season and “Seymour Reads the Constitution” fascinates me as he mixes pop tunes old and new (“Almost Like Being in Love” with a vintage Beach Boys song and some latter day Paul McCartney), some under covered jazz composers (Elmo Hope and Sam Rivers), and his own tunes.  It’s quite a trio.

I already knew and treasured the Anat Cohen/Fred Hersch set from its release.  Hersch is our current quintessential pianist with an unerring sense of tunes (that he features at least one Monk compostions a set is telling), including his own which are finely etched puzzles.  It all reflects taste, insight, and a deep game.  Cohen is part of the Renee Rosnes led Artemis (with Allison Miller, Ingrid Jensen, and Melissa Aldana) which has shaped my listening this year.  She and Ben Goldberg have made the clarinet a modern instrument, not just a relic of Dixieland and swing, bringing a wood-y tonality.  The set with Hersch is a smart exchange of musical ideas over some favorites from the canon (“The Peacocks” is exquisite, but also “Jitterbug Waltz”), including Hersch’s contribution.  I get to see Cohen this season and see it as a highlight.

If this year’s releases give us the chance to hear two different iterations of the Fred Hersch Trio separated by 21 years, we get to mark a very special development.  First, the 1997 set—from the first run at the Village Vanguard—is already quite a mature work.  Hersch was 18 years into his New York career by then, so the playing is compelling and fascinating.  Having Tom Rainey on drums shows that Hersch’s vision of the role of the rhythm section was as full partners and his current working band is telepathic.  “Live in Europe” begins and ends with signature Monk excursions with two Shorter compositions too.  I don’t know if I could pass a blindfold test to pick between the two, but that “Swamp Thang” is on the first album and “The Big Easy (for Tom Piazza)” is on the new one would be a place to explore the differences.  Hersch’s rhythm has always been impeccable but I don’t reflexively associate him with the Second Line and that part of the tradition.  But neither of these tunes is forced or artificial.

The absolute highlight though is Frank Kimbrough’s encyclopedic “Monk’s Dreams,” all 70 compositions in one place thoughtfully curated.  It is not though a museum display as the band makes this canon their own.  Rufus Reid and Ray Drummond are masterful, Kimbrough has fresh ears to evoke Monk while having his own voice (his work on the Herbie Nichols Project is similarly respectfully inventive), and Scott Robinson is just amazing on countless horns, mostly reeds but trumpet too.  Hearing him take two solos and two different instruments is stunning.  I sip at this collection so that I hear the compositions and the interpretations as the exquisite gems they always have been.

There are more treasures to explore, even as 2019 brings us new ones.

[elvendara]

Day 26/April Challenge

Second Yooran AU is my University AU. This one is long and kinda all over the place, and I’m probably going to change the end.

He meant well, he always did, and honestly, if it hadn't been for Saeyoung, Saeran would probably be dead by now. He'd made good on his promise. He got them away from their mother. Whatever his job was, it allowed him to create new identities for them both. Saeran was adamant that he wanted to keep his real first name, but Saeyoung changed his to Luciel. Most of the time though, he just went by Seven. It suited him.

Luciel and Saeran Choi they had become. He'd also added a few years to his own age so that there would be no questions about how he was Saeran's legal guardian, at least, on paper, because one look at them and it was obvious that they were twins. Thankfully, Seven was a master at working through phone and internet. He'd enrolled Saeran into public school and tried to give him as normal a life as he could.

Saeran fought him at first. He wanted to stay close to his brother, he was too afraid of the world outside, fearing that it would only lead to more pain. Slowly, however, he found that he was getting healthier, and that other people would not necessarily hurt him. There were some instances where he had been bullied because of his shyness and his introverted tendencies. Soon enough though, he learned that he had a real talent for sports. He enjoyed the physical strain, the competition, the ball in his hand. Baseball became his main focus and because he was skilled and worked hard to get better, the coaches loved him, and so did his team mates. In fact, he was so good, he earned a scholarship to a university. Seven encouraged him to continue his education and play ball. Those who once bullied him began to praise him. Initially, he had enjoyed the new treatment. Eventually, he understood that it was not him they now liked, but his new popularity.

When he began university, Seven had talked him into living with his team on campus so that he could make some real friends. It was still difficult for Saeran in that department. He preferred to spend most of his time by himself or with his brother. He stayed in the dorm to make Seven happy, but, he simply went through the motions. He wasn’t unhappy, he just did not care for the lifestyle most of his team mates preferred. He would drink, but not to excess, he'd tried pot, it was something he enjoyed doing alone, he was hit on a lot by university girls, which, brought him to the one aspect that was a sticking point for him. He was gay. Had always been gay, had never had any doubts gay. His team mates would try to get him laid, but he always fended them off. Most of the time, the girls were so drunk, they didn't remember if he'd been receptive or not.

He'd never tried to have a relationship, never even really had a crush on anyone. He was happy with his baseball, his art, and his brother. It did not bother him in the least that he had no one else close to him. It made things easier for him as well. It was not a secret that most of his team mates disdained anyone whose sexual orientation did not fit their idea of masculinity. They threw the word 'gay' around like a whip, hitting anyone and everyone with it.

His only sexual experience had been with one of his team mates in high school who he had invited home just to shut his brother up. They had spent time in his room, playing video games and at some point, he had placed his hand on Saeran's crotch as if it was no big deal. He'd asked Saeran if he wanted a blow job and Saeran was too stunned to answer. The boy took that as assent and began to do just that. He'd enjoyed it, but it felt awkward. He tried it himself on the other boy. The next day, the boy ignored him and never really spoke to him again. Saeran was embarrassed and ashamed, he hadn't even told Seven, even though he told him everything. Since then, he had maintained his unspoken rule of no touching. Or at least, minimal touching.

Currently, he stood in a large hallway at a local MegaCon that his teammates had pressured him into going to. It wasn't that they enjoyed video games, or anime, it was in order to make fun of all the cosplayers and nerds. He'd already witnessed a lot of bullying and name calling. He was embarrassed to be in their group, but he didn't know what to do. He had nothing against anyone who attended the Con. In fact, he played with Seven sometimes. It was a great stress relief for him. He wasn't into it as much as his brother, he could easily see Seven dressing up and attending something like this, if he ever actually left the house.

He stepped away from the group and idly walked around, distancing himself from the pack. There was a loud commotion that drew his attention from one of the many rooms. The doors were open wide and the sign in front read "LOLOL Tournament 3 p.m - finish" Saeran grinned. He was very familiar with LOLOL. It was one of Seven's favorite roleplaying games to play. He was rather proud of his #1 ranking on the Shooting Star server. Whenever anyone came close to unseating him from his throne, he would go on the warpath and sometimes take Saeran along with him. He was very serious about his title.

He walked inside. There was a large crowd around two different sections of the room. There were several computer stations with dividers between them. Most were now empty. Only two appeared to still occupy a player. The crowd was too thick for him to see them, but there were large TV's on the wall that showed the player's avatars in game. Saeran grinned, thinking about how he was going to tease his brother about this. He would have loved to compete. But, his work made it impossible for him to stand out in any way to the general public.

One of the avatars was a large barbarian with plate mail and a gigantic maul. The other was a tall, thin, elf with chainmail. His weapon was a halberd that was twice its size. Saeran blinked. It was unusual for the cleric class to dominate one on one. Usually, they were a supporting class. He was impressed that this player had made it to the top two as a cleric. He must have amazing strategic skills.

The screen changed, showing the competitors themselves. On the left screen there was a mousy brown-haired boy that couldn't be more than 18 if that. His face glistened with sweat, his brown eyes shiny with determination. His teeth were clenched, his eyes darting rapidly across his screen.

Saeran's eyes shifted to the screen on the right and his breath hitched, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He'd never seen anything more beautiful. The boy was slender, his large headphones almost disappearing into his blonde fluffy hair. He could see the darker roots near his scalp. His complexion was pale, accentuating his large amethyst eyes and pink lips. He was biting his bottom lip, his nostrils flaring as his eyes also scanned rapidly across his monitor. His tongue peeked out and licked his lips. He used the sleeve of his faded blue hoodie to wipe sweat that began to drip into his eyes. He blinked furiously, his long lashes fluttering.

Saeran quickly scanned through the crowd, standing on his tip toes until he thought he saw the flash of yellow hair in the center. He wanted to push his way through, wanted to see this sunshine in all its splendor, but he knew the tightly packed mob would never let him through. Instead, he made his way to the podium where the trophies were lined up and where, presumably, the winners would be displayed. He wrung his hands nervously as he stared at the screens on the wall, waiting for any glimpse of the boy. He tried to tell himself that this was ridiculous. Love at first sight was not a real thing. And, honestly, this was probably lust anyway. Just because he'd never felt it before, didn't mean anything.

He looked away and thought about leaving all together. He wasn't equipped to deal with these feelings. His heart was racing, and his palms were sweaty. He swallowed with great difficulty and his breath lodged in his throat once more as the image of the blonde boy appeared, his lavender eyes wide, a small grin on his face as he saw victory in his grasp. Sure enough, there was a giant eruption of cheering from the crowd around him, a chant rising in volume, “Yoosung! Yoosung! Yoosung!” Saeran’s chest constricted, was that his name? Or the name of his avatar? Yoosung…why did it sound familiar? Like he’d heard it before? He shook his head, trying to dislodge these new feelings. They clung to him, settling into his skin, into his heart, into his head, growing roots deep into his psyche. Both screens now showed only the blonde, his smile from ear to ear, his hair in disarray, arm up in victory.

Saeran closed his eyes and turned quickly, no, he couldn’t deal with this, it was too much. Unfortunately, the mob descended on his area and he was pushed back towards the podium, up to the red rope around it. He tried to tune out the uproar, to try and steady his breathing. He hadn’t brought his medication, thinking he would not need it. He hadn’t for a long time now. He regretted that decision. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to turn. He saw a flash of blonde and he focused on the boy with the widest grin in the world, he focused on his eyes, trying to figure out exactly what shade of purple they were. He noted a touch of pink around the edges. The boy made eye contact and suddenly his smile was gone. Saeran narrowed his eyes questioningly. The boy’s mouth thinned into a hard line and he jerked his eyes away, Saeran could have sworn they had begun to fill with tears.

Why would he begin to cry because of Saeran? Now he was just confused. He watched him step up to the top spot, the brown-haired boy to his right, and a curly-haired brunette to his left. He avoided eye contact, but Saeran could still see he was distressed. His jubilance of a moment ago completely gone. He tried to smile at those in front of him, but it was strained and off. Saeran blinked rapidly, wondering what he could have done to elicit that kind of reaction. His own eyes began to tear up. He’d only wanted to talk to the boy. To figure out what he’d felt in that moment. To understand if it was something they could share. He shook his head, already knowing the answer.

He watched him anyway, enjoying this brief instance before he walked away forever. They presented him with a giant trophy and his grin was once more back, his joy effervescent. He glowed with happiness and triumph. He was surrounded by friends who cheered for him, who looked genuinely thrilled for him. Saeran smiled sadly, his hands shaking by his side. He could never have that. He would never be that happy. He wanted to bask in his glow. He wanted to reach out and run the back of his fingers along his cheek. He wondered what those pink lips would taste like. He let himself fall into the fantasy. Let himself believe he could have something so bright, something so beautiful.

He didn’t know how long the pomp and circumstance lasted, at one point they had set a crown on the boy’s head and the crowd had cheered. It began to disperse suddenly, flooding away from Saeran before he even knew it. Only the blonde’s friends remained, but his eyes remained focused on only Saeran. He found that he couldn’t move, his feet planted to the floor. He saw the blonde straighten his shoulders, a look of resolve crossing his face. He held his trophy in front of him like a shield then stalked towards Saeran.

Saeran took a step back, not sure what he intended to do with the heavy looking weapon in his hands. He stopped just on the other side of the rope and glared at him.

“What do you want now? Come to finish what your friends started?” he gripped the trophy so tight his knuckles were white. His eyes glistened, and his bottom lip trembled, but he faced Saeran with determination, even if his voice cracked. Saeran blinked, a conflicting and enormous amount of emotions playing out within him. Hearing the boy’s voice was thrilling, it was soft, sweet, and melodic, with a touch of edginess to it. But, his words were like a dagger to his heart. His team mates! Of course, that was why he could be hated so easily.

“I…no…I didn’t…I mean…” Saeran took another step back.

“Let him have it Yoosung!”

“Give him hell!”

“You tell him!”

Saeran wanted to run, wanted to fold in on himself, but he couldn’t look away from those eyes. How could he tell this beautiful angry boy that he only wanted to talk to him? To spend time with him. To get to know him. To explore these new, unknown feelings. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to hold his hand? How? He sputtered, unable to form any coherent sounds.

“Not so brave without your friends, are you?” Yoosung stepped over the rope and loomed towards Saeran, who kept taking small steps backwards.

“No, it’s not…I didn’t…” Saeran tried to say, but what could he really say? That he hadn’t participated in the bullying his team mates had done? That he’d stood by, letting it happen, not helping anyone? That he’d had several chances to tell them they shouldn’t be assholes? He was just as guilty, and he knew it. Whether he had participated or not did not matter. He had let it happen without voicing any complaint. He hung his head, he deserved Yoosung’s anger.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. The hot tears fell from the tip of his nose onto the floor, splashing silently. His hands formed fists and he turned away, leaving the light behind him and ran back into the darkness. He cloaked himself in the shadows that had become his only friends. It was comfortable here, away from any painful feelings. He ran down the hall and out the doors. The night was settling in, the cool breeze hitting his face. He felt the wetness of his tears across his cheeks. He wiped at them angrily and stalked down the stairs towards the long row of taxi’s. He jumped into the first one he saw and gave the man his brother’s address.

Saeran squeezed his hands together in front of him. He let the tears fall, not caring if the taxi driver saw. He tried to steady his heart, to get his breathing under control so that he wouldn’t fall into the grip of his anxiety. He tried the relaxation techniques his therapist had shown him, but the only thing he could visualize now were those amethyst eyes glaring at him. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth painfully. He balled up his fists and started smacking himself in the head as he rocked back and forth.

“Hey! Hey now! Do I need to pull over?” the taxi driver watched his passenger warily.

“No! No, please, just…get me there!” he pleaded.

It must have been good enough for the man, as he settled back into his drive, now glancing at his rearview mirror with more worry than anything.

“Is someone there to help you?” he asked gently.

Saeran nodded, “My brother. My brother.”

The man nodded back with a sigh of relief. Saeran lay his forehead against the cold glass and wept silently.

When they pulled up to the house, Saeran paid the man and gave him a probably too large tip. He didn’t care. The man had been kind and gentle when most people would have treated him roughly.

He punched in the security code of the house and waved to the man. He had waited until the door opened before leaving. Saeran smiled sadly to himself, wondering at the generosity of some people. He walked in, right past the kitchen, the living room, and straight into his room. Seven kept it clean and ready for him always. Saeran would often spend the weekend in the house. He crawled under the clean sheets and buried himself in them. He should take his medication, there was always some in the bathroom, but he just wanted to fade away, to lose himself in oblivion.

He heard the door open slowly and he squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the sheet over his head. He wished he had a thick blanket he could hide under, but he thin sheet would have to do.

“Saeran?” Seven spoke softly, sitting at the edge of his bed. Saeran didn’t answer him, instead, he curled himself into as small a ball as he could. It was a sign Seven easily recognized. He stood and walked out only to return almost immediately. He set something down on Saeran’s night stand. Placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder, he squeezed gently, then patted him lightly before walking out and leaving him alone. He closed the door softly behind him. When he heard the click, Saeran turned over and saw a water glass and his medication. He reached over and shook two pills out, swallowing them easily. He placed the half-filled water glass back on his night stand and resumed his fetal position. Soon, he was deep in a drug filled sleep, amethyst eyes chasing him. Saeran’s mind turned the boy into someone that loved him. He let Yoosung catch him, let him take him, let him have whatever he wanted from him, even if it was pain.

…………………………………………

Saeran’s eyes were heavy. He’d cried so much, they were glued together and puffy. His head ached, and he knew it was going to take all day to feel any better. He didn’t care. He wanted desperately to fall back into his dreams. At least in there, he could be with Yoosung. He sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes. He smelled bacon and he sat up. Seven was cooking? That couldn’t be good. He jumped out of bed and took a quick shower in his bathroom. Once he was in some clean clothes, he finally ventured into the kitchen. It was still in one piece, that was good.

“Good morning! Or should I say, good afternoon!” his brother’s voice was too loud and Saeran just sat at the kitchen table and groaned.

Seven set a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of him, plus a cup of coffee. Saeran took both gratefully with a grunt.

“I’ll take that as a thank you.” Seven smirked, sitting down with his own plate and cup. “There wasn’t much in the house, so I went out this morning to get some groceries.

Saeran arched an eyebrow.

“What? I go out!”

Both eyebrows were now up.

“Just eat your eggs!” Saeran tucked in, he felt famished.

After a few minutes of silence, Seven asked, “Want to talk about it?”

Saeran shook his head.

“Ok, well, you know you can always talk to me.”

Saeran nodded absently. “Can I stay here a while?” he asked.

“Of course you can Saeran, this is your home, it always will be.” Seven assured him. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” he prodded gently.

Saeran shrugged. He felt the sting of tears again and he tried to keep them at bay. He set his fork down and lay his head on his hands weeping. Seven was up instantly, his arms around his brother, holding him tight. Saeran brokenly told him what had happened, how he’d felt, and how he would never again see that beautiful boy who looked at him with such disdain. How he felt guilty and helpless. How he felt heart broken and alone. It had always been easy to confide in his brother. He’d always been the only person who truly understood Saeran.

“Oh Saeran, I’m so sorry! But, you can’t give up that easily! You can’t just walk away from your feelings like that.”

Saeran pulled away from his brother and wiped his tears away with his sleeves.

“You’re one to talk. When was the last time you were out with anyone?” he threw back at him.

“That’s different. You know that! My job doesn’t allow me to have much of a personal life.” Seven looked away, taking a seat next to Saeran.

“It isn’t your job Seven, it’s you, it’s me. We…we’re no good at relationships.” He hung his head, Seven didn’t argue.

“Whatever happened with that guy you were talking to online? I thought you really liked him?” Saeran asked.

Seven shrugged, “He lives in Europe, plus, I found out he was married.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“No big deal, I mean, it wasn’t as if I was going to skip off to London to see him or anything!” he grinned.

Saeran scoffed at him. “What about that girl you met during your last mission? She was cute.” Seven had shown him a picture of the woman he had worked with, she was blonde, petite, and dangerous.

“Oh, well, she was a little too much for me.” He laughed. “It was fun, for a few weeks, but, not for a lifetime.” Seven sighed. “You know you deserve to be happy, don’t you?”

“What about you? Don’t we both deserve to be happy? I hate it that you sit in that small room all day and night. That can’t be all that you want out of life.”

“I live through you little brother.” Seven grinned.

“Don’t do that. You know I would do anything for you, and I have. But, Seven…I…”

“Are you truly that unhappy where you are? I was hoping you would make some friends, come out of your shell a little. I know you love playing baseball, but, there’s so much more to life than just sports.”

“I’m not unhappy. I just, don’t fit in. They tolerate me at best. Because they need me. But I see the way they look at me, like…like I’m a weirdo. And, worst of all, I still can’t be myself around them.” He looked away. He hadn’t meant to burden his brother with any of this, but that blonde had him reeling emotionally.

“You can come home then. If that’s what you want. But, I still think you should find this boy. Try again.”

Saeran was already shaking his head before Seven even finished.

“I tell you what. You try again, and so will I. Uh, where do you go to meet girls? Or boys? Or, someone, these days?” he asked.

Saeran laughed genuinely.

“Maybe a cheerleader at one of your games? I understand they are very sexy!” Seven wiggled his eyebrows.

Saeran pushed at him, “Idiot, there aren’t any cheerleaders in baseball! But, I might know someone! She’d be perfect for you.”

“Really?” Seven was taken aback.

“Really.”

“Ok, then, do we have a deal?” Seven held his hand out. Saeran nibbled on his lower lip. He didn’t know if he could take it if Yoosung rejected him again. But, he thought it would be worth it. Even if it was only to help his brother find some happiness for himself. He reached out and took Seven’s hand, shaking it forcefully. They had a deal.

I know some people may find Saeran’s reaction over the top, dramatic, or unrealistic. However, keep in mind, he is 22/23 years old and has never felt this kind of attraction. It’s new, it’s powerful, it’s confusing, and he doesn’t have the skill set to process it.

[quitbeingbanished]

Changing my genre (Charlie x Jo)

Title: Changing my genre

Pairing: Charlie x Jo

Prompt: Songfic for #kimsbirthdaychallenge @ilostmyshoe-79

word count: 1215

warnings: AU where Jo is an edgy larp girl and Charlie is normally not into that, Larping, Charlie being awkward and adorable

song: Changing my Major from Fun Home OST

a/n: I had two other fic idea I tried to do with this but...this happened. this is my first wlw fic I’ve written since I came out as trans. I did have my lovely assistant @becomingmyinnerdemons help me make sure it wasn’t uncomfortable. As such pretty rated G and kinda fluffy.

tagging: @brewsthespirit-blog , @smallreferencepools​

Charlie totally loved LARP. She considered herself a bit of a larping queen actually. But she preferred high Fantasy, elves, dragons and magic. She felt comfortable in that setting. She could min-max her way to being the baddest bitch on the game floor. She read books like Harry Potter and the Hobbit. She liked fantasy, it was a happy place where the heroes always won—well, except for Song of Ice and Fire. It was an escape, a warm blanket of an escape. She liked fantasy. She had no interest in dark and gritty settings. Comics in the 90’s had been terrible. Batman was overrated.

She’d seen the source material a few times in her local game store. Books that were marked ADULT as if somehow playing vampires or werewolves were the mature thing to do. Charlie had plenty of adult encounters while in Middle-earth, thank you very much. But when there had been a flyer in her local gamer den for a new larp on the local college campus? Yeah, Charlie had decided to give it a go. Not because she was interested in this pretentious system but because her main game was in its offseason.

Sometimes a girl just needs a larp fix, regardless of the genre.

   She had sent an email to the contact on the flyer for the online group for the game. Roads Not Taken was a silly name for a campaign but Charlie had once been in a D&D game called Elf Quest so who was she to judge? She joined the topic for new players where the Story Teller--how weird was that to call your game master?-- that told her the system was just humans who got tapped with powers to fight monsters. It didn’t sound as goth as she had been expecting.

  Charlie was wowed by just how normal and geeky everyone had seemed. Just normal geeks who were planning on starting a larp about hunting monsters. One of the other players offered to help her build a character for the system. Charlie was fairly sure she could figure out how to build a character by herself but the offer game with the chance to actually know someone before hitting the game floor so she’d agreed.

  They had chatted privately for a couple days before agreeing on a time to meet up before the game to go over the basics. Charlie learned her real name was Jo. Charlie loved talking to her if she was honest. She learned Jo had an older taste in music. She worked with her mom at a bar not too far away. Jo had a wicked sense of humor. Jo also apparently was super well versed in the system. She had pdf copies of all the books for the system that she had emailed to Charlie through an encrypted server. It wasn’t the first time Charlie had gotten a crush on a girl across the internet but she was falling hard for her.

  Charlie felt comfortable enough to talk about her own life. How she worked in IT. What her favorite books and tv shows were and how much she really missed having a game that ran on a set schedule. How her Hogwarts house was Gryffindor and Hermione was her favorite character. 

  Jo said that was adorable. Charlie had screenshot that exchanges to her phone and stared at it sometimes feeling her face go red every time.

  Her favorite character from Harry Potter was Ron. She considered herself to by a Gryffindor as well but Pottermore had sorted her into Slytherin of all things. Jo talked about her collection of fantasy swords as well as just knives in general. She mentioned her favorite shows were a little more mystery than fantasy. She liked terrible B horror movies as well as good horror.

  Jo even made Hunter the Reckoning seem interesting and three dimensional. Jo made it a very human story. How people could just be going about their lives when suddenly the powers that be pulled back the curtain and revealed the monsters that existed in the world. Jo made the dark and gritty world of darkness even seem kind of cool.

  Charlie learned from talking with Jo on her skype that Jo was in at least 3 other larps in the city. Charlie got to learn all the drama of the intersecting Organizations of larps, two vampires and one werewolf. She got to hear some off-topic stories about how her friend Dean was constantly in some new crisis in a game because he couldn’t ignore or not take the bait for a plot. She heard about how the politics of one vampire game screwed up all her fun in the other one.

  Jo even asked for her facebook. Charlie had been hesitant to give it at first, it was full of some memes and her different cosplay pictures. But she gave it anyway. She liked Jo. Jo seemed like a good person. Jo was gorgeous. Her smile in her photos was infectious. Charlie found herself smiling every time she got a text or IM from Jo anyways but now she had a face to go with it.

    Through facebook, she also got to put other faces to names. Jo started a small group chat with some of the other players going to the hunter game to have a slight chance at building a group that sort of knew each other. Charlie found she liked most of them thought Sam and Dean seemed to be constantly getting each other off track. Adam normally only seemed to communicate with memes. Castiel was the assistant Storyteller for the game and seemed to be trying to keep Dean from getting too out there. Charlie was falling in love with Jo’s friends too.

  The only thing Charlie couldn’t seem to ask was whether Jo felt the same way about how they were getting along. They were talking all the time now. Once facebook had been exchanged then Instagram and twitter followed. Charlie wondered if she had a Tumblr but was afraid to ask, her Tumblr was overflowing with personal posts gushing about how much she liked Jo, it seemed a bad plan to open that door right now.

  So when are we meeting tomorrow? Charlie texted Jo.

  Want to catch coffee tomorrow before game? I want to see if the Unicorn thing is as bad as everyone says. Jo responded.

  It’s a date. Charlie had responded without thinking.

  Hope that means you’re paying ;) Jo had texted back.

  Charlie had to lay on the bed and remember how to breathe.

   Charlie totally hadn’t driven herself crazy with what to wear to meet Jo for the first time. She wasn’t sure if it was a date-date or just a ‘gals being pals’ event. That would have been insane to hyper stress about what to wear. She had stuffed her character clothes in her bag and showed up fifteen minutes early to the coffee shop and tried to calm her breathing.

  When Jo walked in with a t-shirt of Captain America’s shield colored in the bisexual flag Charlie was sure she’d died and gone to heaven.

  “Cute shirt.” Charlie has said waving Jo over.

  “thanks. I only save it for first dates with cute girls.” Jo had grinned.

[torentialtribute]

The Open 2019 preview: Rory McIlroy factor, big crowds and bad weather

How the hell do you follow that sporting Sunday? The unenviable task of taking up the slack in this breathless summer has fallen to the Open . Perhaps it is good that the 148th edition happens to be one of the most anticipated at the time.

In the next four days, in front of the largest crowd for every Open staged outside St Andrews, the best event in the game, heralds a new chapter with the introduction of a beautiful shade of green.

Scotland will always be the home of golf, but there is passion, respect and sheer exuberance for the game in Ireland, north and south, which is completely intoxicating. We all know the reasons why it has not been staged here in the north for 68 years, but it is a serious injustice that has now been blessedly made good.

<img id = "i-3609950f3c4266ea" src = "https://ift.tt/2xPIlm9 image-a-45_1563395525141.jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-3609950f3c4266ea" src = "https://ift.tt/305gPND /17/21/16180468-0-image-a-45_1563395525141.jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" General view of the 13th hole in the Royal Portrush during a practice session before The Open General view of the 13th hole of Royal Portrush during a practice round for The Open

The first ball has not yet been hit, but the R & A are already planning the sequel. & # 39; Many more Opens in Portrush for the coming years & # 39 ;, Martin Slumbers, the director of R & A, radiated. & # 39;

From the moment the local boy with the misty eyes Darren Clarke the & # 39; I don't think we've ever been to a location before & gets

With some majors, such as the US PGA championship in May, it won't happen. , you could see the winner from a reasonable distance.

Adding the classic Open flavors of happiness and unpredictability is the fact that we are promised all kinds of weather conditions in the coming four days, from sometimes strengthening breezes to vicious showers and, yes

If the weather forecast for Thursday turns out to be accurate, it doesn't sound good news for Rory McIlroy and his home army of followers, with the wind to be picked up shortly after the pick up. start of his round. But it's just a prediction.

Rory McIlroy receives a lot of support from his army of fans in his native Northern Ireland "

Rory McIlroy receives a lot of support from his army of fans in his native Northern Ireland

Rory McIlroy receives a lot of support from his army of fans in his native Northern Ireland

[Portwest] is usually a job where long riders may deploy the driver no more than two or three times, but this year the fairways are green instead of brown and the muscle people may be tempted to shoulder their shoulders more than the norm In recent majors, the Americans have established a pattern of domination that has quickly reached the unprecedented stage since Europe became a power with the arrival of Seve Ballesteros in the late 1970s.

Nine of the last 10 majors have fallen to US golfers and while the Open is the one where they have been the least successful. t, they would certainly be pleased with the continuation of the winners trend over the past six years – in turn, these come from America, Europe, America, Europe, America, Europe.

If this continues, they will complete the first clean flight of all four majors by Americans in the same season since 1982.

Leading the American challenge is of course the man who did a lot of damage – Brooks Koepka, with his 1-2-1-2 run in the last four have played majors and four wins from the last nine.

nine majors he played in

Sir Nick Faldo has declared that we are the Koepka have entered, but he will have to do something about his mediocre Open record before he is considered the complete golfer.

Koepka led after the first round in 2017, but he has reached the age of 29 without a single top five finish.

If the run continues, he will be able to discover if he is in the right place.

After all the excitement of the first major, what the total had been is a total anti-climax for the man who won the Masters. It is nevertheless a consolation to enter the season. Last major knows that it will still be a great year, regardless of the outcome. Winning a green jacket does that for a man.

THREE TO WIN

Gone about his company, as always, without fuss or fanfare. Brooks Koepka

Mediocre Open record with not one top five finish – but one of the few golfers who has completed one of the few golfers to complete a successful golfer. How can you tolerate a man who has gone 1-2-1-2 in the last four majors? 19459002

Xander Schauffele

The type of golfer that Opens wins. Under the radar, straight off the T-piece, uniform temperament – and an embankment of a good putter

THREE EVERY ROAD BETS

Haotong Li

Eddie Pepperell

Nothing to shout from the rooftops on his recent record,

Flush it on the range on Wednesday and in its element when it is on a link. If not the captain of Ryder Cup next year (Padraig Harrington), why not the one (19459002)

Lee Westwood

? There is a chance that at least one of them will go well.

Who is the European who can break the trend? Of the two most obvious suspects, there is a terrible weight on Rory & # 39; s shoulders, while Justin Rose did not sound like a man convinced that he had his Openings good in this year of change in the majors.

Jon Rahm hardly had any confidence anymore and had just won an Irish Open two years after collecting another one later in Portstewart. This should also be a fertile area for artists such as Tommy Fleetwood, Danny Willett and Eddie Pepperell.

These were lean times for golfers from outside Europe and America when it comes to winning majors. , but the two sweet swingers, Adam Scott from Australia and the South African Louis Oosthuizen will be the silent imagination of many.

At 6:30 am on Thursdays at every Open you see the small grandstand at the first about half – full and a few friends and relatives of the players involved moved along the channel. With this, you just know that it will be radically different for the great moment of Clarke, and the start of a whole new ball game for the oldest event in golf.

No promises with a finish like the cricket or tennis last Sunday But this Open holds the promise of the unforgettable.

6.57: A Sullivan, C Bezuidenhout (SA), A Levy (F ).

6.46: E Grillo (Arg), Sung Kang (Kor), * T Thurloway. ] S (S), R Langasque (F), * M Schmid (G),

7.30: P Harrington, M Fitzpatrick, A Putnam (USA)

7.41: B Watson (US), E Pepperell, R Cabrera Bello: P Mickelson (US), S Lowry, B Grace (SA).

8.03: A Noren (Swe), M Lorenzo-Vera (F), S Locke. Simpson (USA), S Garcia (Sp), CT Pan (Tpe). 8.25: R Palmer (USA), A Pavan (It), D Frittelli (SA).

: K Stanley (US), R MacIntyre, Johnston.

8.47: M Korhonen (Fin), O Wilson, * C Knipes.

9.14: H Stenson (Swe), X Schauffele (US), McDowell G.

9.03: I Poulter, Sunjae Im (Kor), K Aphibarnrat (Tha). 9.25: Li Haotong (Chn), R Knox, B Wiesberger (Au).

9.36: J Kokrak (USA), C Syme, A Connelly (Can). Johnson (USA), D Duval (USA), C Conners (Can).

9.58: F Molinari (It), A Scott (A), B DeChambeau: R McIlroy, P Casey, G Woodland (USA)

10.20: H Matsuyama (Jpn), R Fowler (USA), K Kisner (USA)

10.31: J Furyk (19459005)

10.43: S-list (USA), A Bjork (Swe), P Waring. J Meyer, M Lashley (USA), B Hebert (Fra)

11.04: M Horikawa (Jpn), C Shinkwin, G Porteous

Baldwin, J Senior.

11.46: T Lehman (USA), J Niemann (Chl), MA Jimenez (19459002) 12.09pm: S Cink (A), CA (C) ( C) (C) (19459002)

11.58: J Dahmen US Arnaus Sp.

12.20: E Van Rooyen (SA), K Kitayama (USA), J McLeod (A), R Sabbatini (Svk), Innchoon Hwang

12.53: T (a), T Hatton, K Mitchell (USA), T Pieters (Bel), R Fox (NZ), S Norris (SA), Dongkyu Jang Fleetwood, J Thomas (USA), T Olesen (Den)

1.04: B Koepka (USA), L Oosthuizen (SA), S Sharma (19459002) 1.37: J Spieth (USA), M Leishman (A), D Willett

1.37: C Smith (USA), A Wise ( USA), J Janewattananond (Tha) A, A Hadwin (Can), D Lipsky (USA)

1.48: P Lawrie, C Reavie (USA), J Harding (SA).

2.15: L Glover (US), J Luiten (Hol), N Bertasio (It).

2.04: * T Kanaya (Jpn), T Lewis, B Stone

2.37: B Snedeker (US), L Westwood, B Harman (US).

2.19: E Els (SA), JB Holmes (US), A Ancer (Mex). 2.59: D Johnson (US), J Day (A), K Bradley (US)

2.48: T Finau (US), L Bjerregaard (Den), J Rose. 3.21: J Rahm (Sp), M Kuchar (US), P Cantlay (US).

3.10: T Woods (US), M Wallace, P Reed (US)

3.43: to Otaegui (Sp), Y Ikeda (Jpn), I Benitez (Mex).

3.32: K Streelman (US), D Redman (US), R Rock.

4.05: Y Fujimoto (Jpn), Doyeob Mun (Kor), A Wilson

GB and Ireland, unless otherwise stated.

All times BST –

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