#atypical reactions and stuff

[mottski]

~two week post-op round up~

-exited The Itch(tm) phase and have now entered the Feels Like Sunburn(tm) phase, which is a lateral move bc both suck equally. i might not want to gnaw my torso off but i DO feel like my whole chest has been badly sunburned. it's nerves waking up again and/or healing, my hips did the same thing. iirc, the intensity of it fades pretty quickly but parts of my thighs felt like they were mildly sunburned for like six months so who knows how this'll wind up

-struggling with Symptoms of Mysterious Origin But Maybe Still Anesthesia for two weeks now, where i feel mild-moderate motion sickness and dizziness for around 3 hours after i eat. i'm gonna make them check my blood pressure at my next follow up bc i have suspicions and can't check for myself

-no longer have to wear foam inserts! thank fucking god, the adhesive was not helping the itch factor

-vax does not understand why i'm now even more twitchy than before about letting his lil feets near my chest :( he's being brave about it, though

-started crocheting a sweater now that my chest measurement won't dramatically decrease and i won't feel gross wearing close fitting clothes :D i have been planning this for a year now as a special treat, i'm v excited

-one more week until i'm allowed to play elden ring again have a sustained elevated heart rate. chomping at the bit.

-i still don't feel anything other than "well this is how things look now, alrighty, neat" when interacting with my chest. it's been elevated to comedy for me bc i saw a lovely comic by a trans artist like, yesterday, about seeing their chest for the first time and the delight of it and they cried and stuff, and i'm over here like *thumbs up emoji in response to a lengthy text*

[bitethedevil]

Can you please do a nsfw alphabet for Raphael?

Raphael NSFW Alphabet

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

None, nada. In one of my fics he just sort of gives Tav a pat on the head after fucking her within an inch of her life and I honestly think that’s him being generous with her. He just doesn’t have time for that stuff. In his mind he’s entitled to ruining you, so why should he provide aftercare?

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

Asses and thighs all the way. He’s also really into necks, especially biting and marking them for everyone to see.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Okay hear me out. I can rationalize this from a biological viewpoint. Sperm cells don’t do well in heat. He’s a half-devil, half-mortal, which means his cum is hot as the Hells. Here’s my theory: cambions cum more than the normal person to compensate for this disadvantage. Listen it just makes sense, biologically, of course, and not because I’m rationalizing my nasty thoughts about this man.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

It’s not really dirty, but he would see it as such. He really likes being taken care of after. He doesn’t like to show affection himself, but he likes to be cuddled with and shown care towards, though he would never admit it. He would actually start purring if you play with his hair or massage his scalp.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

I’m ready to fight anyone. Haarlep is not a credible source. You don’t live for 2000+ years and never learn how to fuck properly. He knows what he’s doing (when he feels like it).

F= Favorite position

I actually think that him being ‘below’ with Haarlep is atypical from how he usually would like it with anyone else (because he shows more vulnerability with Haarlep and he can be more lazy). I think with anyone else, he would like to be in complete control by being on top of them, caging them in or pinning them down. Any position where he can growl and whisper into your ear as you fuck is crucial. He likes being able to see your face and your reactions too.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

He likes to tease and say condescending shit while you fuck. He might even laugh at you. Gods save you if you do the same to him though.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

He trims but he’s not hairless. He’s got a nice dark happy trail going on.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

If he is romantic, it’s to manipulate you, but he certainly is capable of putting on a convincing performance. He prefers it rough.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

He’s got Haarlep for that. I really think he’s above touching himself and you won’t get him to do it. He’s weird like that.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

I think that man has tried everything and I think one would be surprised with all the nasty shit he’s into. That said, surprisingly, I think he’s actually super open to playing into the other person’s kinks. He wants to ruin you, and if he finds out you’re into something specific, he’ll play into that.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

The bed or the pool or you’ll hear him whine about ruining his expensive furniture. If you’re not in the HoH though, anywhere is good and he has no problem just bending you over the nearest flat surface.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Mental stimulation 110%. Sex for him is just as much about power and fucking mentally with the other person as it is about lust for him (if not much more). He wants to be mentally stimulated by playing mind games with you by either luring you into believing whatever he wants you to believe or by breaking you.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Anything that could humiliate him or put him in a position where he feels out of control.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

You will most likely give and not receive much. Don’t get me wrong, he can do oral skillfully, but the bastard sees it as beneath him. He’d much rather see you on your knees.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

It varies and he doesn’t give any warning before suddenly changing pace.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

I think he likes to tease, so it’ll be slow until he gets impatient.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

See: Kinks. I generally think he is open to new things, but he knows what he likes, so it really depends what his goal is at that given moment. If he’s trying to impress, he’s open, but if he’s already got you under his thumb, he’ll just do what he likes.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

Because of my (totally scientific) theory about cambions cumming a lot, I think he doesn’t last for super long, but he can go again very shortly after, and he will. Be prepared for a lot of rounds before he’s fully done with you.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

His pride doesn’t allow it. Yes, I’m afraid that he’s one of those guys. Ropes, blindfold, chains, whips, and stuff like that are game though.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

He is super unfair. He’s such an asshole. He’s an endless tease and he keeps you on edge. If you’re doing multiple rounds, you won’t cum until he’s done so at least a couple of times. Don’t even get me started on sucking his cock. He does not care if you can breathe, that’s a you problem.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

He groans, grunts, and growls. Always making deep rumbling sounds and he loves doing it right up against your ear. He yaps too. He loves to dirty talk. Again, it’s the mental stimulation aspect.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: he LOVES when you’re completely naked and at his mercy while he is fully dressed and in control. This man loves to finger you wherever you are and just watching your reactions with a calm and collected demeanor.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

He’s big in both forms. Not uncomfortably big in terms of length, but the girth is what makes it intimidating. It’s thicc, with two cc’s.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

I think he’s not one to lose control over his urges. There’s almost always a goal whenever he sleeps with someone to some extent. I think he is also the type to just fuck because he’s bored or understimulated. He needs to do something constantly and sometimes sex is just the easiest way to get that restlessness out of his system.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

It’ll happen all of a sudden. After a couple of rounds you’ll think you’re just taking a break. You’ll blink and all of a sudden he’s already packed his bags and taken the trip to SnorkMiMi-land, completely out cold without any warning.

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[iamnmbr3]

💖

What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

hm. not sure because i feel like no matter how fringe the opinion it will be popular in one corner of the fandom or other. However, I'll go with my opinion on the Sectumsempra incident. I feel that it is not as big a deal as it's made out to be in some corners of the fandom and the bad thing about isn't what people focus on and also it's not even the most morally questionable thing Harry does in the series by a long shot.

I think some people tend to treat it as something Harry did with knowledge and intent, when he didn't. He didn't even use the spell because he dislikes Draco. He did it in a frantic moment of self defense when the first few spells he tried didn't work and he was shouting the first thing that came to mind. The terrible thing is that he was very cavalier about trying out unknown magic. The actual context he used it in - self defense agains a probable Death Eater who was attacking him and had escalated to Unforgivables - is actually pretty understandable. However, had he not walked in on Draco the probable victim of his spell would have been Cormac Mclaggen, who he had actually intended to test it on due to his dislike of him. This is hugely irresponsible, as was his decision to test another spell on Ron. (Though we must remember that his education has not stressed the potential risks of using unknown spells on people.)

Harry didn't know what the spell did and used it only in response to an attack and only after several of his other spells didn't work (btw shoutout to the fact that Draco actually lasted longer in a duel with Harry than any other character in the series except Snape). People sometimes put it into the real world context of a fight between people at school getting out of hand to the point one person nearly dies. But that's not what happened. This is a heightened fantasy context of two people who are now literally on opposite sides of a war getting into a serious fight. Also, although people say Harry didn't feel bad he actually was absolutely horrified by what he has done, so much so that he completely lost his composure in the moment which is a very atypical reaction for him, even in dangerous or upsetting situations. And then he subsequently completely stops investigating Draco even though the fight and what Draco says right before it further substantiate Harry's theories about Draco.

The really notable thing to me is how upset Harry is when Draco is hurt - to the point that he freezes up and panics, which is one of the only times he reacts that way in a high stress situation - and how it is Pansy and not Draco who vilifies Harry. It's also really interesting that Harry could have probably gotten himself out of trouble by mentioning that Draco was saying some super incriminating stuff and then attacked him and tried to use an Unforgivable Curse on Harry (which remember, carries a life sentence in prison). But even though Harry previously brought concerns about Draco to McGonagall, during the whole time she apparently yelled at him over this incident he never brought any of these extenuating circumstances. Given that Lucius is already in jail and the Malfoys have lost their standing in mainstream wizarding society (as well as among Death Eaters) Harry's accusation would probably have been taken seriously and he might well have been able to land Draco in jail. However, instead when Harry sees the vulnerable position Draco is in he backs off.

So yeah Harry definitely made a horrible mistake in this scene, but I see it more as drarry fodder than as evidence of him being a vicious psychopath.

Were this anyone but Draco, I can't imagine Harry reacting in a similar way. I mean, imagine him walking in on some other Death Eater saying a bunch of incriminating stuff and then getting attacked by that Death Eater and injuring the Death Eater more than he intended while acting in self defense. (Remember in book 5 Hermione was the one who had to stop him cursing the Death Eater whose head was de-aged to a baby.)

And the other weird thing is that Harry does other more morally grey things. In book 2 he makes Lockhart go first into the Chamber. If the Basilisk was waiting there he would have been killed. In a moment of anger in book 6 he chokes Mundungus so hard he starts turning blue, and never feels bad about it or apologizes. In book 7 he won't attack Stan with Stunners but he does use them on other Death Eaters, which presumably risks killing them. (There's also his use of the Cruciatus Curse in book 7 which I personally find to be a dumb and ooc scene added for a silly reason and thus just don't count as canon even though it could have been a super interesting moment if done well; but if you do count it, that's wayyy darker than the book 6 scene). I love Harry but he's not just an uwu soft cinnamon roll though I don't think he's an evil psychopath like some parts of fandom do either. He does make some morally grey choices that make his character interesting and complex and flawed, but the bathroom fight in book 6 really isn't one of them imho.

[orcelito]

I got.... my official adhd diagnosis....🥺🥺🥺🥺

Had my appointment where she went thru all the different parts of the testing and what they found by it. All sorts of things that I didn't even Realize what it was testing. And they pointed to combined type adhd!!!!!

There was also an iq test involved, specifically to test working memory in comparison to other categories, bc that's smth that adhd people tend to score low on. And I did too!!!! Compared to my other scores, at least. It was still average overall, but I scored "high average" on verbal comprehension and "superior" on perceptual reasoning and processing speed. WHICH MEANS!!!! Working memory was my low thing!!! Another thing pointing to it!!!!

Also the weird X test I took was the CPT-3 test and apparently it was geared Specifically towards adhd stuff. Which bc of my "atypically fast" reaction speed + "very elevated" commissions rate (which in this context means incorrectly hit space bar, aka I clicked when I wasn't supposed to) it showed a strong indication of impulsivity & some indication of inattentiveness and vigilance. That impulsivity is the big one here tho.

I'm just really excited now. I have a long report talking about all my brain stuffs that says I Do have adhd and that it would benefit me to take stimulants. AND!!!!! That I DONT have depression or anxiety!!!! That's a fuckin big one!!!!!! Bc they've avoided giving me stimulants in the past bc of the "anxiety" except I don't got it!!!! The examiner said exactly what I thought about it, which is that the prior disgnoses of depression and anxiety probably stemmed from effects of the untreated adhd. Aka I had Feels Bad Disorder. Ykno? Except not actually a disorder bc it was just a byproduct.

SO! Hopefully that can help me to get proper meds as soon as possible. Gonna be contacting my doctor to set up an appointment... soon!!!!!

[lucky-clover-gazette]

Arceus, I Wish That Were Me

(Part 2 of The Outsider, 3390 words)

Volo is touch-starved. The outsider doesn't know how to accept praise. They figure it out.

Read on Ao3 or under the cut:

The first time he noticed, they were in the midst of battle.

“Good girl, Togekiss!” Volo praised, as his partner Pokémon landed a critical hit on the outsider’s espeon. Seconds passed, and Volo tried to guess which of her team she would send out next. But the Pokémon—he’d anticipated her umbreon, she was training the pair together—never came.

At first Volo assumed her inaction was due to annoyance, specifically with the fainted state of her espeon. But that reaction, from the outsider, made no sense. She’d sent the Pokémon out herself, fully understanding the might of Volo’s team.

No, something else had frozen the outsider in place. It only took a cursory glance for Volo to make an educated guess.

“Something bothering you?” he asked, unable to hide his amusement.

The outsider placed a hand over her own cheek. Scowled at the warmth she must have found there. Muttered something under her breath.

“Come again?” Volo teased, because he simply could not help himself.

“Shut up,” she said, and sent out her umbreon.

─────────────────

The first time she failed to notice, the temperature was far too warm.

“I’m glad you have this stuff here,” the outsider told Volo, as she spread the protective salve over her bare skin. She was showing much more of it than usual, thanks to an atypical heat wave for the time of year. Volo had grown accustomed to seeing her in her typical attire—black pants, Survey Corps sandals, and a red plaid kimono she occasionally called her ‘flannel’—but could vaguely remember the alternate clothing she wore in the warm weather. Perhaps it was because of their recently-admitted mutual attraction that he now viewed her in a different light.

The clothing was, of course, far from scandalous. Cropped black pants, black sandals, and a white festival top. The ensemble revealed her legs and forearms, and slightly more of her collarbone than usual. It would have been absurd for him to feel any sort of way about it, besides appreciation for the comfort it brought her in the heat.

“You can use it when I’m done,” the outsider told Volo, nodding towards his own exposed skin.

He was technically breaking Ginkgo code, with the slight adjustments he’d made to his uniform. Nothing irreversible, of course—he’d simply removed his apron, unbuttoned the top half of his heavy jumpsuit, and tied its arms around his waist. Beneath it he wore a simple white undershirt, which exposed his arms and shoulders to the midday sun.

For a moment he had considered forgoing his uniform and donning his self-made deific attire instead, which would have allowed for much more comfort in the heat. But that would have created many more problems than solutions.

Also, he was having second thoughts about the green pants.

Volo found himself transfixed by the outsider as she spread the salve onto her arms, then leaned down to do the same to her legs. She reached all the way to her bare ankles, running over the various small scars she’d acquired during her time in the field. Then she returned to full height, lifted up her long hair, and began to rub the solution onto her neck and exposed chest.

Volo felt his fingers twitch. Despite their occasional romantic dalliances, the outsider still had an odd way about her when it came to casual touch. And for his part, Volo was determined to ensure that she was comfortable. It was the least he could do, truly, after a year of taking advantage of her trust.

He watched her complete the application in silence, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood.

Seconds or hours later, the outsider finished spreading the salve. “You should use it too,” she told Volo, corking the bottle. She barely even looked at him as she tossed it in his direction. “Let me know if you need help with your back.”

Volo caught the bottle like his life depended on it.

He got to work immediately, spreading the salve on the skin he easily could reach. But the back of his neck and shoulders were so very far away, and she had offered—

“Care to assist?” Volo asked, in a voice that suggested he would rather burn than beg.

“That’s what I said,” the outsider told him, reclaiming the bottle. After a pause, she added: “Now, come.”

Volo felt as if he’d been hit by a truck, something he knew would not be invented for at least fifteen years.

“You’re too tall,” the outsider clarified. “I can’t reach.”

“Oh.” Volo leaned down.

She was quick and clinical in her application, spreading the cool salve over his shoulders and the exposed part of his back. He felt her fingers pause, though, when she reached the edge of his shirt.

“The fabric is pretty thin,” she informed him. “Want me to get under there?”

Arceus, yes.

“If you are so inclined.”

The outsider obliged. The feeling of her hand beneath his shirt sent a chill down Volo’s back.

It ended as quickly as it began.

“There,” the outsider said, tucking the bottle into her satchel. “That should keep us cool.”

Respectfully, Volo disagreed.

─────────────────

The second time he noticed, he was simply doing his job.

“Ah, but you see,” Volo told Arezu, “an accomplished stylist such as yourself should use only the finest of materials!”

The red-haired woman raised an eyebrow, unamused. “My materials are fine.”

“But they could be finer!” he said, wagging his finger. “You must browse my wares—”

“Volo?” asked the outsider, bewildered as she entered Jubilife Village’s very necessary and period-appropriate hair salon. “What are you doing here?”

“You know this guy?” asked Arezu, peering beyond Volo’s tall frame.

“I am naught but a traveling merchant,” he said, waving the outsider away. He needed this sale to meet his quota for the month, having spent the majority of time surveying the wilds of Hisui in her company. “And Arezu here is my very favorite customer!”

“I’ve never bought anything from you in my life.”

“You truly are skilled with your craft,” Volo complimented the stylist, his eyes drilling into hers. “In fact, I think I would trust you to style my own hair. And that’s saying something!”

Arezu eyed him thoughtfully. “It does have a rather unique color. Shame that the Ginkgo Guild hides it beneath such hideous headgear.”

The outsider scoffed again, behind him. I like your hair, she’d told him at the Temple of Sinnoh. It had sounded so difficult for her to utter praise. In his particular line of work, Volo could not relate.

“For you, my friend, I would happily oblige.” He removed his hat and pulled his hair from its usual bun, allowing the golden strands to fall over his shoulders. “I will admit, I take much pride in my appearance. But with a masterful stylist such as yourself, I am certain I would be in good hands.”

Arezu used the aforementioned hands to hold a section of his hair. “Interesting texture,” she hummed. “I would not recommend using gel or bleach.”

Not his desired response, but useful all the same. Volo wondered if he could sell her the gel and bleach he’d intended for his deific transformation, prior to his decision to delay the inevitable.

The outsider had fully entered the room at this point, having stalked over to stand beside Arezu. Volo suppressed a laugh at her sour expression.

“Excuse me for delaying your appointment,” he told her, “but I must insist that your stylist examine my wares.”

The outsider crossed her arms over her chest. “Maybe you should examine hers,” she challenged, nodding towards a shelf by the styling chair. “Since you seem so keen.”

Volo hummed, shrugging his hair out of Arezu’s grasp. “What was your name again?” he asked the outsider.

Her scowl deepened. She answered the question.

“That’s right,” Volo smiled, repeating it aloud. “And are you a customer here?”

“Obviously.”

The outsider’s eyes widened slightly as he stepped closer, towering over her and making no effort to minimize himself.

“Beautiful,” Volo praised, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He matched her gaze before abruptly tearing himself away, glancing lazily over at Arezu. “Your workmanship deserves a caliber of supplies to match.”

The outsider cleared her throat.

“Wouldn’t you agree?” Volo asked, using her name again.

Her cheeks burned as she admitted, “He has a point.”

“That’s a smart girl.”

Arezu sighed and motioned towards Volo’s backpack. “Come on, then. Show me your wares.”

“Excellent!” Volo exclaimed, replacing his Ginkgo cap. “Firstly, I would recommend the King’s Leaf…”

He could sense the outsider’s continued presence by his side. While Volo had once studied the woman as an opponent, he now found himself cataloguing her responses and instincts for distinctly different reasons. His very favorite customer, it seemed, took rather well to praise.

She had hidden her reactions well enough during their initial time together, in the midst of Volo’s deceptions. Or perhaps he simply had been too fixated on loathing her to notice. Regardless, Volo was very aware of her inclinations now.

“How delightful,” Volo told Arezu as he made the sale. Then, on his way to the door, he allowed himself a passing glance at the outsider. She was redder than he’d ever seen her before, seemingly stunned into silence by his words.

How delightful, indeed.

─────────────────

The second time she failed to notice, they were trying to relax.

It had been a long day of documenting Pokémon in the Crimson Mirelands, and they’d set up camp just as the sun set. Now, enveloped in the starry void of Hisui’s night sky, Volo and the outsider sat across from each other in contented silence. A campfire crackled between them, releasing its pleasant and familiar scent into the air.

Her alpha bibarel, Crinkle Cut, was also present.

The thing was massive, and Volo knew that the outsider adored it. It was soft and dumb, its tiny pupils betraying no thoughts inside of its absurdly large head. And while the bibarel held up well enough in battle, thanks to the outsider’s inexplicable dedication to its training, it was far from a Legendary Pokémon.

At times like this, Volo liked to remind himself of the creature’s inferiority.

The outsider hummed as she rested her full weight against the plush abomination, scratching indulgently beneath its chin. Rising flames and smoke obscured Volo’s view of them both, cutting him off entirely from the disturbing display. He shifted slightly on the tree stump where he sat. His arms had been crossed for the past ten minutes.

The outsider bonked her forehead against the bibarel’s empty skull.

(Volo imagined the way she would rest her head against his, after sharing a tender kiss.)

She cooed and ran a hand through its fur.

(Volo felt the ghosts of her fingers carding through his hair.)

She allowed the bibarel to engulf her in its stubby arms, Miss ‘Sorry I’m Kind of Weird About Hugs, They Startle Me Most of the Time,’ and had the audacity to smile.

Arceus, I wish that were me, Volo thought, as the smoke continued to rise.

─────────────────

The third time, he knew exactly what he was doing.

“It is very admirable,” Volo told the outsider, “that you dedicate yourself so thoroughly to your research.”

It was evening in Jubilife Village, and the pair had quietly retired to the outsider’s Galaxy Team-issued dorm. It was one of the few places where they could truly be alone, and Volo had grown to take comfort in the small but lived-in space. He’d even freed his partner Pokémon, who currently napped in a nest of blankets with the outsider’s matching togekiss.

“I have to work hard,” the outsider replied. “They’ll kick me out if I don’t.”

Volo shook his head with a smile. “That is only half the truth, as you are well aware.”

“Oh, yeah? And what’s the other half?”

His lips curled into a grin. This was the opportunity he’d been waiting for, ever since observing the outsider’s inclinations in the hair salon. He knew it was a risk—but if there was a place to try, it would be here. This environment put her at ease, and gave them both the privacy to let down their defenses. It was ironic, how the very same manner of thinking Volo had once used to manipulate the hero was equally effective in genuinely ensuring her comfort.

If she took offense, he would stop. It was as simple as that.

“You love what you do,” Volo told the outsider, placing a firm hand on her slumped shoulder. “It amazes me to watch you work.”

The outsider’s eyes did not wander from the Pokédex. “It does,” she said—a statement, not a question.

Volo hummed indulgently. “Of course it does. You are doing so very well, such a good—”

“You don’t have to do the whole praise thing with me,” the outsider snapped. “I know you only say those things to people you’re trying to use.”

“I—what?”

“Don’t play dumb,” she told him, now meeting his eyes. “You do it with customers all the time. And you did the same to me, before I knew what you really wanted. But we understand each other now, and there’s nothing of value that I can give you, so there’s no reason for you to lie.”

Volo accepted that this was not going to be the playful interaction he had intended. “I told the truth when I sung your praises, even if my intentions were impure.”

“What about Arezu? And all of your other very favorite customers?”

“I care for their coin. Simple as that.”

The outsider fidgeted with her brush. Volo frowned.

“I will admit that my earliest interactions with you were predicated on jealousy and resentment. At that point, I thought you were my enemy, and I treated you as such.” The outsider held her breath as he gently removed the brush from her hand. “But the things I said were still very true. You are a brave, competent, and unique individual, and despite my resentment I looked forward to the time we spent together.”

“Sure,” said the outsider, unconvinced.

“Do you really not believe that you deserve to be praised?”

She was normally so talkative, even when she was upset. But something seemed to be stopping her now, causing her to shut her eyes and lean back against her trunk of many items.

“I don’t remember much about my life before the rift,” the outsider slowly said. “But sometimes, there are still… instincts. It’s like emotional muscle memory, warning me when I get too close to past experiences.”

“I’m sorry,” said Volo, because he was.

“Don’t be. From what I can remember, a lot of my past experiences sucked.” The outsider opened her eyes and met his directly. “I don’t think you were the first person to manipulate me using positive reinforcement.”

She said it so clinically, as if she were a subject in the professor’s lab. As if her very human existence was nothing more than a twisted social experiment.

“I don’t know what happened before you arrived in Hisui,” Volo said. “But we both know what I’ve done to you, myself.”

The outsider nodded. He took it as a sign to continue.

“It sounds as if the people from your past did not consider themselves your enemies, but your allies. They were supposed to treat you well—just as well as you undoubtedly treated them.”

The outsider shook her head. “You don’t have to say that. I was probably just as bad as they were.”

“Even if that were true,” Volo said with a small smile, “I imagine that you would have made for an exceptionally thoughtful and caring bad person.”

Volo’s Togekiss pulled hers closer, allowing it to nestle underneath her downy wing.

“For the record,” sighed the outsider, “I don’t think you’re the same as people from my past.”

“Thank y—”

“But I still don’t trust you, Volo. And I don’t want to be made a fool again.”

It was true, that Volo was not entirely being honest. He still possessed the eighteenth plate, tucked into a hidden compartment of his traveling pack. He still wished to recreate this world alongside Arceus’s chosen hero, the likely outcome of their combined efforts to complete the Pokédex.

Volo did not expect his god to treat him well. Its repeated and unrepentant rejections had long since eliminated the possibility in his mind. He had no faith whatsoever that Arceus would choose to accept him, even after helping the outsider with her holy mission.

As a man destined to be a god, Volo strove to be better than the Almighty Arceus—but by no means did that imply he was good. Still, despite his many secrets, he was determined to honor the promise he’d made in the Temple of Sinnoh:

I wish to treat you well. That is the truth.

“What do you want from me, Volo?” the outsider asked.

The seventeen plates, he thought. Arceus’s subjugation. Assistance in creating a better world.

But those things had very little to do with the outsider herself. At least, not the parts that mattered here.

“That,” Volo said, pointing at their Pokémon. “I want that.”

The outsider tilted her head at the pair. “You mean Frittata? You already have Togekiss, and you love her more than anything.”

Volo held his palm to his forehead. “No, I don’t want your—what I mean is, I would like to do that. With you.” He felt his cheeks grow warm. Damn it.

The outsider turned back to him, her expression entirely earnest. “Volo, are you touch-starved?”

“It is often difficult to determine your interest.”

She furrowed her brow. “You know I think you’re attractive.”

“Latently, perhaps. But I wish to take only what is enthusiastically given.”

The outsider sighed and took Volo’s hands into her own.

“It’s new for me,” she told him, “being wanted.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” Volo said.

“Okay, fine: it’s new being wanted by a person I actually want back.”

“Then I suppose that makes two of us.”

Her frown deepened. “But I haven’t made you feel very wanted at all.”

“In many ways you have,” Volo reassured her. “But I will admit to a particular… starvation.”

She studied him carefully. “I think I might have an idea that would satisfy us both.”

“I’m listening.”

“If you want to touch me, or you want me to touch you... don’t wait for me to notice.” She rubbed her thumb against the side of his hand. “I have the desire, really, but it’s also hard to let myself feel it. That’s why, at least for now, I think it would be good if you just asked.”

Volo considered.

“I know it’s a weird request,” the outsider said. “But I think it would help me a lot, actually, to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

She gave him a sad smile. “That you want me.” More quietly, she added: “That I’m good.”

Volo swallowed.

“Can I trust you to do that, and mean it?”

His response came in the form of a kiss. Volo hummed softly as he pressed his lips to the outsider’s hand.

“You can trust me,” he said between gentle pecks, “when I say that you are good.” He continued to kiss her wrist, her palm, and—fuck it.

He took the outsider’s pointer finger into his mouth. Sucked once, and then released.

The outsider inhaled sharply.

“There are many ways I can prove,” Volo said, “how desperately I want you.”

He allowed the outsider a moment to recover.

“I see,” she eventually replied. “Are there ways I could return the favor?”

Volo shrugged. “I’m sure I could think of a few.”

“And for how long have you been thinking, Volo?”

He straightened his posture, pausing their banter so he could thoughtfully respond. “Consciously, I’m not sure I could say.”

She raised an eyebrow. “But subconsciously?”

“Since the very first day I met you, of course. The beautiful and indomitable hero, sent to me by the Almighty Creator itself. My enemy, my friend, and now…”

“Yours,” the outsider agreed, entirely earnest.

“That’s right,” Volo said. “My very favorite customer.”

She rolled her eyes, grabbed him by the hair, and stole the words right from his mouth.

[kingsandbastardz]

Sometimes I like comparing actors behavior/personalities outside of their roles to their in character roles, just to see where they are making some of their acting choices.

I don't usually follow actors so the following impressions are based off casual viewing:

All three leads are very confident, physical actors. Aero's dance background definitely helps.

On variety shows, they try to help Cheng Yi bc he struggles more than they do.

Cheng Yi sees variety show games as stressful hellscapes. But on a drama set, he's fully in control and confident. He isn't the type that thinks of snappy responses very quickly when he's put on the spot.

Joseph seems to be a very proactive, take charge personality and has good situational awareness. Friendly arguing and mildly bossing Aero around, including physically moving him. Will be super permissive with Cheng Yi failing at every game but if Aero messes up a single time... 💀 rip Aero. Not a cute personality type. In freeform situations, will direct others or talk/create ideas for group activities to do in front of the cameras. Verbally quick.

Aero is the second person that will take charge if ppl are passive but seems to prefer an active support role. Looks confident but imo he's not always on the same page as everyone, so ends up in situations where he has to mask awkwardness. Is totally ok with Joseph being assertive with him despite the age difference. In freeform situations, defaults to being physically helpful or doing stuff.

Thoughts on acting choices vs the actors naturally in the wild:

No proof, but I'm like 100000% convinced the bamboo holding/walking and the wedding dress hand holding were unscripted additions. Would not be surprised if you told me Aero was helping Cheng Yi maneuver on set or they were goofing off and the director decided to work it into the story.

The cuteness of Fang Doubing is a creation. He's not fluffy like that irl.

Cheng Yi mentioned that his speech is fast bc the director kept telling him to talk faster, so his rapid patter style is a product of him trying to maintain speed without being boring. His natural speaking pace and reaction time is slower than the role

Fang Doubing has a 'young lion' feel, like he is on the cusp of taking charge of everything with just a bit more time and training. I think that's some of Joseph's natural assertiveness at play.

Aero has said he got a nice high when he filmed a particularly dominating scene. He doesn't seem to be naturally like that. Physical stuff being his happy place definitely comes through in his fight scenes.

Cheng Yi's confidence on set shows when LLH/LXY becomes dominating on screen. You can tell he has zero doubts in himself

I don't know what experiences or parts of his personality Aero was channeling during DFS's gender subversive confrontations with Jiao Liqiao but it was fascinating. His (imo atypical and realistic) reactions made his worsening situation far more tense and believable than I expected.

Fang Doubing's yelling/being rowdy at DFS... seems to be a direct mirror of irl behavior, but more often, more prolonged and framed in a more mutually antagonistic, cute manner. Irl Joseph is just goofing and Aero takes it like a champ.

Chen Yi said he first met Aero during martial arts training sessions and that they didn't discuss their roles before they jumped into doing scenes together -- so I guess this means their synergy on screen just came naturally between them? (The director must have been so happy)

all 3 are team players with the way they support each other during variety shows, so I think that contributed to how they maintained their chemistry and push/pull for their characters

Other thoughts:

With Joseph's natural personality, I can see why he's interested in playing a villain. I think he could do something interesting with a bad guy that looks like a good guy. Sort of like DFS who has a lot of heroic qualities but looks like a bad guy? Just in the opposite direction.

[sophaeros]

julian casablancas for mojo magazine, november 2024 / issue 372 (x x)

Rock'n'roll Confidential: Julian Casablancas

The Strokes/Voidz mainman talks entitlement, respect and Arctic Monkeys

3AM (Pacific Coast Time) is an atypical hour to schedule an interview. But here's Julian Casablancas, zooming from Los Angeles, where the singer, for so long synonymous with the grit and glamour of New York City, has lived since 2020. He's a busy man: as well as fronting long-running garage rock classicists The Strokes - whose sixth album The New Abnormal won a Grammy in 2020 - he's found a refuge of sorts in his experimental, '80s synths-enabled group The Voidz, whose new LP Like All Before You is imminent. Talking to MOJO, Casablancas remains in shadow, his eyes occasionally reflecting dim light. "I can be a vampire," he promises. "You want a real rock star, bro? But I can be flexible and go into family mode too…"

What are you doing up at 3am, talking to MOJO? It's about the only time I have free. The rest of the time, it's videos and working with managers, going to concerts, social things… so l go all the way around, to crazy night hours.

The new album starts with Overture and ends with Walk Off - is there a concept lurking within? I guess a little. Maybe subconsciously. It hopefully hits if you have taken mushrooms. I had just watched Gone With The Wind, and they used to have overtures at the beginning of movies, and then we end the album with a synthesizer version. But it is not a rock opera story. If anything, the concept was going to be a one-word album title. At first, it was Zeal, then Perseverance.

How do you switch mindsets between Voidz and Strokes songwriting? Voidz songs are where my mind has been pushing me, and where I want to go, and where I am. But the ability or capability or muscle memory of writing Strokes-sequel stuff is just always going to be there. When those songs appear, it makes more sense to put them in each category, but it's not always that clear. But there's more 'no-limits' with The Voidz.

You recently said, "My current solution is to tour with The Strokes and then use the money to record with The Voidz." How did that happen? Years of drama and betrayals and horseshit (laughs). Honestly, l am cool with most of the dudes, and now we're more mature. It's not what I set out to do, but it's a fun, cool day job that I feel blessed to have. But let's just say I was only in a band called Zog, and whatever I worked on 10 years ago in Zog, I would not be interested in any more, I'm only interested in what I'm working on now. It's just the nature of music and creativity, you know?

What did you set out to do with The Strokes? I just wanted to challenge boundaries, and to have an ambitious collective of respectful teammates. Is that The Voidz? For me, yes.

The cliché about Strokes issues is that you were rich kids who weren't hungry enough. Any truth in that? Success affects people in different ways. I'd say there are some elements, probably from me as well, where you can be entitled… all kinds of bands have fallings outs and drama. It wasn't like, Oh, we don't need the money. I think it did take a lot of hunger to get there, but then after you've achieved something, when everyone is kissing each individual member's ass… OK, let's get back to work and do it again. It was like, Uh, no thanks. That's my assessment.

The Arctic Monkeys song Star Treatment starts out, "I just wanted to be one of The Strokes." What was your reaction? I thought, Be careful what you wish for. It was funny, and flattering. I have a lot of respect for Alex and those boys.

Tell us something you've never told an interviewer before. I've been trying to communicate with crows lately. I heard they have an intricate sonic language, but I haven't had any luck. It occurred to me that food would help, so I was trying to feed one M&M's earlier, but he wasn't having it. People can catch me making weird noises, trying to mimic the crow. I think the crows are more startled than the humans.

As told to Martin Aston

JULIAN, DOPE Five of Casablancas's crackers.

Brian Eno Burning Airlines Give You So Much More (ISLAND, 1974)

Benny Goodman Good-Bye (VICTOR, 1936)

Kate Bush Why Should I Love You? (EMI, 1993)

Max Richter Path 5 (Delta) (DEUTSCHE GRAMMOPHON, 2015)

BEAK> Secrets (INVADA, 2024)

[not-poignant]

Hey Pia! I had some questions about a bond vs a claim in the UtB universe specifically related to Nate and Flitmouse. Like Anton and Flitmouse are bonded but Alois is still claimed by Vadim but he doesn’t really have any of the symptoms or aggressive reactions Nate does. Is it because Alois knows Vadim was bad and wants to escape while Nate still loves Christian? And there are moments like when Alois wanted Anton to mount him but in UtBlue it’s kind of implied it's impossible for an omega to really like those things coming from an alpha that’s not the one they bonded to? Or at least have a knee jerk “this isn’t correct” reaction that we see in Nate but not Flitmouse. I’m just curious what the differences between Nate and Alois situations that lead to such different reactions to another alpha trying to bond with them. Sorry this got long I just wanted to be specific :p

Hi anon,

Firstly, with any of this stuff, nothing's universal. Just like not everyone with a uterus has the same experiences of periods, or not everyone who gets married has the same experience of marriage, etc.

A claim is biological, and 99.9% if the time marked by the alpha biting into the Kaeper glands at the back of an omega's neck, which alters their biochemistry and links them to the person who bit them (whether they want to be or not). In extremely rare occasions, atypical omegas can biologically 'create' an experience like they've been claimed without ever having been bitten, which is Nate's experience. It's not the norm, and it will never happen with another character in the series.

but Alois is still claimed by Vadim but he doesn’t really have any of the symptoms or aggressive reactions Nate does.

We've never seen Anton challenge Vadim's claim! (At least, not on AO3, we see a hint of it on Patreon/Ream and it's very clear that Alois has a strong reaction to the claim being challenged, just like Nate did).

The first time Nate is mounted by Janusz, his experience is actually largely positive, and while he's distressed because the situation is distressing, he feels comforted, safe, and he is able to relax. He only starts to relax negatively when Janusz starts deliberately antagonising the claim. That happens through language like 'say that I'm your alpha' or 'say that you're my omega.'

Anton has never done with Flitmouse. The closest he gets in one of the early access chapters is saying 'I'm your alpha' and Flitmouse's immediate, visceral reaction is 'you're NOT MY-' and then he cuts himself off, shocked at how strong and deep that reaction is. Make no mistake, when it comes time to break Vadim's claim of Flitmouse, it will be agonising, and Flitmouse will likely have to be sedated throughout.

So like, the mounting itself wasn't the challenge. If Janusz had mounted Nate again and never made him say 'you're my alpha' - they would have had zero problems and Nate would have found it relaxing again, it's that simple.

Likewise, Anton's never made Flitmouse say things like 'you're my alpha' because he knows that would be agonising for Flitmouse, because of the claim.

So in a way, you just have yet seen how Flitmouse will react when this stuff starts happening. Flitmouse does like Anton, it's true, but that claim is still there and we've never seen it truly challenged because it would be incredibly irresponsible for them to challenge it while Flitmouse is medically unwell and weak. It could kill him, even if he's healthy, just like it nearly kills Nate.

It was never about the mounting, anon, it's about the words. That's why the first time Janusz mounts Nate, it's fine! I mean Nate's still stressed because the situation is stressful, but you might want to reread that scene in chapter 11 if you've forgotten. Nate unwinds, relaxes, feels comforted, and then begins to get teary because of how much emotion he's repressing. But he doesn't have a catastrophic reaction at all!

It's all down to the words that the new alpha is making the omega say. And Anton hasn't prodded that yet, he senses just how dangerous that will be. He gets close in an early access chapter, just by saying something himself (not making Flitmouse say anything) and Flitmouse's response is so immediate and physical that he offers immediate comfort and stops.

So yeah, in terms of being specific, mounting is fine! Mounting doesn't challenge a claim. And in that sense, Anton has never challenged Vadim's claim, and that's why Flitmouse has never reacted like Nate has to a challenge. Because we've never seen it with Flitmouse/Anton.

[worms-in-my-brain]

Nobody knows how to talk to me

I feel like my whole ass life I’m looking back and thinking… why did they do that? Wouldn’t they have known I would react this way? Didn’t I tell them this would happen? Why did they keep doing it?

And I realised… is it because I’m autistic?

I know I’ve had issues when I was a kid expecting people to ‘read my mind’/instantly know what I was thinking without actually telling them. Maybe I have more lingering issues regarding that than I thought?

My reactions to stuff also tend to be atypical. Stuff that works on other people doesn’t work on me and I often just need time to figure it out myself because I understand the information differently than whoever tried to teach me.

Ex. My parents had a lot of trouble with me as a kid because no parenting ‘tricks’ (i.e. rewards, punishments, reverse psychology, and etc.) worked on me because I straight up did not understand a lot of what they were telling me. Maybe it’s just part of maturing and I know NOW but I also know that I was a really difficult child and lots of kids. Aren’t. Lol

Also people pretty much can’t convince me of stuff. The way they explain it makes no sense to me, I have to go read whatever proof they’re using to convince me myself and then like restructure the information until I agree or disagree.

I also can’t teach people stuff very well since the way it makes sense to me is not often the way it will make sense to them.

And now I’m wondering if maybe it’s just all one part of my disorder that heavily impacts communication.

[breakerwhiskey]

165 - ONE HUNDRED SIXTY FIVE

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

“F not here” — I assume by F, you mean Francis. And not that I’m going to take your word for it, but it’s…it’s interesting. That you should say that. That you should know that.

I think maybe I’m starting to understand. Well, maybe not understand, but I…I’m beginning to form a theory. Maybe.

So, there’s a pond. The pond is quiet, maybe has some ripples in it from what’s swimming underneath the surface, or the wind, the rain—the normal stuff that a pond experiences. And all those things create some kind of…chain reaction. But again, it’s the usual things—a frog dies, a tadpole grows legs, algae blooms, whatever.

But if you throw a huge boulder into that pond, everything goes fucking bananas. It kills a duck or displaces so much water that fish drown on dry land and then…

You have an empty pond? You have a series of smaller ponds? The water evaporates? I don’t know where to go from there. But if Harry, Leann, and I are all fish that got thrown into another pond by the water splashing around the boulder then…

[click, static]

(frustrated sigh) I’m not sure that that’s anything.

I wish there was…I don’t know, a book I could read, a scientific journal, something. I’m going to go into the next library I find and see what I can dredge up. Because this all feels vastly beyond my comprehension.

I—it occurred to me…well, am I a terrible person for thinking of my art fence before thinking of Martha? It’s not that I didn’t care about her—sure, we were never committed, but I cared.

I think I’ve just been hoping that I wasn’t important in her life to really have an impact. She was this bright, uncomplicated spot in a pretty messy life and I hope…I hope she stayed that way. I hope we were both a refuge for each other, an escape from our real worlds. And that, because of that, the mistakes of my real world didn’t shake hers.

[click, static]

[beeps]

[lotus-mirage]

Time to see what they do after that tone shift

Trigun Stampede episode 3 liveblog!

Ok!  So.  Keeping that tone.  O.O

(also natural disaster angle? Interesting! And prooobably be being paired with presumably-Knives approaching the town)

....oh they’re crawling on other people now. bleegh, that’s unsettling.

Wow after the shooting stunts of the last two episodes having a death so easily is startling

Okay wtf is up with this guy

Oh! It looks like only Vash is being featured in the opening, which is pretty atypical. That might have been part of the reason I was so thrown off?

Okay so the newest antagonist’s tech is a weird mix of high and low-tech.  Like I think it’s being powered by advanced, glowy-blue tech, but the shapes and actions (aside from like.  how those actions work) are still kind of crude!

I wonder if other plants are put in danger this often lol

Good to know Vash can be serious!  Kinda surprised that didn’t come up sooner, but I guess even if they were causing a lot of incidental damage the previous antagonists have been focused on him and not just wanton destruction.

“there’s no use in revenge,” now???? To a guy whose only personality has been his son and revenge???

Okay they may be implying that same point  - wait piano again??  They are really leaning hard into this I had thought there was like. One scene about it.

O.O

Well that was something. I can’t say I was really expecting a conversation there, but I certainly wasn’t expecting dismemberment.

Two contrasting “whose side are you on” questions within a span of as many scenes! Neat.

oh wtf was that. corrosion?

flash-back touch, okay.

Or not.  Gate? 

more dismemberment!

...were those the nominal knives? or are they like. incidental.

Oh what is this now.  Giant mecha... gorilla-shaped-thing.

Wait wait who’s that!  That kid’s haircut & coloring look suspiciously like the twins’.

Oh the lighting here is really cool.

The kid’s eyes look completely different, though. Huh.

Okay that was really intense I didn’t have anything to say during it.  Except that the weird full-body hoodie thing is apparently the.....

knife. tendril.  ...thingies?

Anyway!  That’s kinda neat!

A third “whose side are you on”! ...yeah that checks out narratively

...also notably accompanying the first shot where we actually see his face, I think.

Yeah I think those are the nominal knives.

oh also lots of piano focus in the background now, nice

ooookay I see where the biblical references start coming into play.  I thought it was just Wolfwood, guess not! ...I have no idea what he’s referring to, though.  Probably something old testament? Which is interesting because Wolfwood has a lot of cross stuff happening, but other than that I am only getting the surface level of whatever parallels are being drawn here.

Aside from the next shot, I guess!  Knives gets a knife halo. ...or maybe the knives are doing the circles of heaven/ranks of angels thing? hmmm.

...did the kid just die! I thought he’d be the only one to make it out!

Wait the big guy is still alive?  Huh.

Yeah that’s a very fair reaction from Rosa.

“I don’t deserve to cry” WELL ALRIGHT THEN

Okay interesting that’s already a change in approach from Vash!  Pursuing Knives now instead of the other way around. 

Wait actually the “he” is unspecified, I guess, but I assume.

End notes:

Okay so. Kept the tone from the end of the last episode.  Okay! I wonder if they’re gonna mostly stick to that from now on, or maybe start bouncing between the two?

I had absolutely no idea about the other people working with Knives.  Like, none.  I guess I knew that there was a group with him (hence Wolfwood(?)), but nothing about the rest of the group. Wonder what’s happening there!  They took both the red and blue plants - which I guess I assumed were respectively dead and alive. Are they, like, hatching them?? They were kind of suspiciously egg-shaped.

So.  Admittedly I was previously not super emotionally invested in Vash.  I kind of knew a bit about his deal, going into things - the whole “peace and love” meme, contrasted with the material of the show - but the kind of outsider framing from Meryl and Rodrigo made me feel like we should get to know more about them before focusing so much on him.  Anyways, I didn’t dislike him, I’d just yet to get attached to him.  All of that rescinded now, I guess! 

The “I don’t deserve to cry” line made me go ‘Ah.  I understand the hype now!’ I guess, if hype counts as... my mutual’s and what feels like half the internet’s incredible fondness for the guy. Ouch.

No transition here but uh yeah! Lots of fantastic animation again this episode!  Also this episode put a lot of emphasis on framing, both symbolic and cinematic! Both of those points stand out particularly for the whole last several minutes, which were really impressive.

[defectivegembrain]

You know what also gets me about the Hickey thing? Imagine if it were reversed. If a character like Abed freaked out over something that while admittedly upsetting, was a mistake, and essentially held the person captive? It's the kind of thing I can see happening on The Big Bang Theory or the early seasons of Atypical. (In fact, didn't Sam lock Paige in a closet at some point in Atypical for like, touching his stuff too much? Yikes that show went through a journey.)

But this coming from an autistic character would definitely be played up as "crazy guy has pointless tantrum". And of course with Abed or any other character of colour there would be added racist reactions, at least from some of the audience if not in the show. But possibly in the show. I mean if Piss had ever witnessed him do anything like that he'd see it as proof that he's a terrorist. So there's power dynamics going on here that make it even more disturbing, even beyond it being a teacher abusing a student. But like they could only brush it off by having nobody ever find out, which is kind of even more terrifying. If anyone had found out I can't see any way they could avoid confronting how messed up it was without it looking completely ooc. Or Jeff being really deep into alcohol withdrawal or something. Which is even more disturbing.

[redtheroom]

NERODIVERGITY (a confusing but important rant)

This is my big Christmas movie revelation if I was in a Christmas movie.

heheh, So I was researching SLDs (specific learning disability's) and I was struggling to write the essay because there's so much to talk about, but were suppose to answer a question. And I was thinking, "Well I want to answer <blaw> but that leads into the <blaww> answer, which is also important which leads to- <blawww> ect...". But I realized "blawww" had and "blaww" and "blaw" all needed EXTENSIVE writing to be properly explained, but my brain simply couldn't decided to answer a specific question. Btw, my ORIGNAL question was how are why dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and dyspraxia, but there's not a full answer to even write about, AND THeN I REMEBERD: I have adhd, symptoms include disorganized thoughts, lots of thoughts, easily distracted, hyperactivity, BOOM! WHATS DISTRACTIONS? when your focus (current thought/s) go off track! WHATS WHITE MATER DISPLACEMENT (in relation to dyslexia, one of the SLDs) WHEN THE NERO CURRENT PATHWAYS ARE FUNKY! What dose this cause in relation to dyslexia? MIX UPS! there is also hyperactivity found in the areya of your brain (IFLs inferior frontal lobes) which [the article(PNAS) says supports the idea of] COMPINSATION for said mix-ups. WHAT OTHER THINGS HAVE GENRAL IDEAS OF MIX UPS/DYBLITYS and abnormaly HIPER REACTION of brain realated STUFF? OTHER NERODIVERGETIYS!!!! but unlike dyslexia, adhd, and autizm are reserched with the bacises of atypical sotial interaton, and genraly, existing. WICH IS WAY MORE BROD and hard to look at a spisific part of the brain, so unlike *SPISIFIC* dyslexia, wich can be neroligicly trasced to *SPISIFCI* READING REALATEd brain bits, I dont have neroligical brain scans and reserch on how adhd and autizm work. :C AND NOW IVE FRIKCN PUT IT TOGETHER, I was wondering why I kept wanting to included the history of research on SLDs, despite that not answering what SLDs are efficiently. well nowi know, its BEACUED MY BRAIN, kepts going back to how its all connected. Wether thats throw the prosese of memories past, or learingng spisificly, i duno. BECAYSE NOBADYS RESECHERd IT YET(so far, that i can find without braking a pay wall)

Thankyou tumbler, for letting me think of how I'm going to explain my F and blank easy to my honors composition teacher.

[bklynmusicnerd]

My fear is based off the fact that Trina and Spencer literally almost died once before in Greenland by Victor and the show had them come back and go about their daily lives like all that shit didn’t just happen to them. No traumatic PTSD, no therapy, no nothing. So I’m preparing them to act the same way in regards to Trina’s grief. They probably will give her a few days-2/3 weeks max of grieving episodes and be like okay that’s enough.

Interesting, I'm actually a little concerned in the opposite direction, that Trina's ooc behavior in regards to her depression will take away some of the stuff we love most about her.

Again, it's so hard to get into the post-Greenland stuff because that is the stockpile of shit that blew everything up because they were so focused on trying to sell us on Amnesia Esme, that it overrode everything. The weirdest case of creative tunnel vision I've seen in a minute, especially heading into a strike.

I mean, Spencer never really got legit pov on being forced to "kill" his Uncle Victor, who he loved and trusted. I will say, I don't think that's going to be the case this time for Trina. She's dropping the semester (aka making major life decisions) in immediate reaction to Spencer's "death".

It sounds like they're setting up a survivor's guilt arc for Trina which means we're going to see her feel like she doesn't deserve to live or "move on". It's very much sounding like a culmination of the worst parts of her savior complex. Everything that I've read from TA's interviews suggests that this won't be a phase that Trina just gets over but something that "alters" her.

But in regards to your concerns, I don't want a whitewashing of her grief but I would like her grief to be fluid if that makes sense? I don't want an entire month of Trina just bursting into tears over the mere mention of Spencer. I don't think that's really true to her in the long run, and I think it would get stale quickly.

There are a lot of different ways to write grief and depression (Spencer was a depression coded character from the moment he showed up in his ninja costume) and hopefully whatever way they write Trina's dark era is still grounded in who she is and not just a generic template for a grieving soap heroine.

Let her have moments where she lashes out, let her have moments where she's completely impolite, let her have moments where she loses control. It'd be frustrating (and tbh very telling) if the only atypical to her character writing we see for Trina during her depression this month is just her giving up her ambition.

[monster--boyfriend]

You know it ain't surprising people who have atypical mild food allergies will sometimes not realize they have an allergy because they think they reaction is part of the normal appeal of the food

I mean look at the shit people eat normally for it's properties? Like the pain response of intense spice, the bite of acidic onions, stuff like that, even pineapple leaves a funny mouthfeel behind regardless of if you're allergic

It be an easy mistake to make a fuzzy, tingly, or otherwise weird sensation as normal if it wasn't actively causing you noticeable harm

[lepertamar]

huh thought of a thing which is that….there’s a scene in Stars where yenatru muses on the fact that the library building (which is a hollow carved out of the face of a cliff) was done thru the theurgy of holies specifically (and ‘at least one angel’). the fact it’s specified is kinda………hmmm. well for one, carving out a rockface (removing or rearranging matter) rather than conjuring new matter is an atypical type of theurgy. and for another it specifies the people who did this weird theurgy as gd-entangled people. which makes me wonder….

does (or optionally, can) gd-soul kind of……get into entangled theurgists’ manifestations. in a way that makes it possible for entangled people (angels mainly, holies on a far smaller and less noticeable scale) to do theurgy that is recombination/processes (from geological and other eroding/grinding processes to chemical and biological processes like life building blocks/decay).

and thereby bends the ‘manifestations cannot be destroyed’ rule? the rule that even g-d on their own can’t bend?

bends not breaks bcuz it does abide by ‘manifestations cannot be undone’ — the Stuff is not undone or un-happened! (stuff versus things). but the epigraph that’s like ‘some manifestations are designed to decay’ is a little weird like…..if ppl could simply decide to make it decayable, or there exist a choice few souls were decayable, wouldn’t that idk. be a big deal. be a big dividing line. especially given that this would be responsible for all life on earth including all humans’ bodies! if this was all attributable to the specific soul of some specific angel, who? becuz those specific guys would be a big deal! or let’s say, why are all the landscapes that are part of this planet made by angel-theurgy capable of eroding, while human-theurgy ones are very emphatically not? (‘only one hill erodes’ a repeated line!). now not necessarily! it’s not like, the only possible explanation for why some manifestations can decay or otherwise go through processes and therefore make the biosphere exist. BUT.

narratively speaking.

it would really thematically fit.

would fit lucifer’s revulsion for entanglement, for the concept of something foreign bleeding into one’s soul and contaminating it, making it not a true form. and would fit with the emphasized rule that a human’s theurgy can’t change their body or become a new body, while angels’ can (humans’ bodies are already biological processes that are not any single person’s theurgy, while angels’ bodies are that single angel’s theurgy plus gd’s). and would fit with the entire thing near the end of lives, of prices as possible combinations, or at least as reactions of gods that differ between each person whose price it is, tesena combines with gd differently than with kjorel. the emphatic textual statement that there is a lot that is unknown and wide open. and would fit with the series’s continual repeated motif of reversals-of-irl-connotations: demons are innocent and baby-theft is good, theurgy-proper is one’s own power of solo magic, gods are defined by self-identity and not a state or class of being, the ‘holy’ are defined by impurity and mutilation and morally neutral, g-d is the one who makes harsh deals with high prices with people, not the devil…….following such a theme, would be also that G-d is (indirectly) responsible for cross-contamination and decay and crumbling and other processes that change what exists as the world and therefore give rise to life processes, and these are neutral-to-good things and are more interested in the side of biodiversity/chemocomplexity, rather than bad signs of a world that is fallen (by human sin, by satan, whatever, yet another reversal is that acts categorized as sin or disobedience are so admired and taken so seriously by who it rebels against that it leads to the covenant and promise — neither a fall nor a toppling of a scapegoat).

and tikkun olam would have a different bent, the world can and must be further built and perfected and added to in undetermined growth but cannot be fixed or perfected towards a determinist ideal becuz the world is not broken. or it’s brokenness-state is potentiality, is this non-omnipotent-gd’s only way of getting not-gd to exist at all, potentiality that can be recombined in a million arrangements according to a million Arguments…..