#just like it would be for flitmouse

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Hey Pia! I had some questions about a bond vs a claim in the UtB universe specifically related to Nate and Flitmouse. Like Anton and Flitmouse are bonded but Alois is still claimed by Vadim but he doesn’t really have any of the symptoms or aggressive reactions Nate does. Is it because Alois knows Vadim was bad and wants to escape while Nate still loves Christian? And there are moments like when Alois wanted Anton to mount him but in UtBlue it’s kind of implied it's impossible for an omega to really like those things coming from an alpha that’s not the one they bonded to? Or at least have a knee jerk “this isn’t correct” reaction that we see in Nate but not Flitmouse. I’m just curious what the differences between Nate and Alois situations that lead to such different reactions to another alpha trying to bond with them. Sorry this got long I just wanted to be specific :p

Hi anon,

Firstly, with any of this stuff, nothing's universal. Just like not everyone with a uterus has the same experiences of periods, or not everyone who gets married has the same experience of marriage, etc.

A claim is biological, and 99.9% if the time marked by the alpha biting into the Kaeper glands at the back of an omega's neck, which alters their biochemistry and links them to the person who bit them (whether they want to be or not). In extremely rare occasions, atypical omegas can biologically 'create' an experience like they've been claimed without ever having been bitten, which is Nate's experience. It's not the norm, and it will never happen with another character in the series.

but Alois is still claimed by Vadim but he doesn’t really have any of the symptoms or aggressive reactions Nate does.

We've never seen Anton challenge Vadim's claim! (At least, not on AO3, we see a hint of it on Patreon/Ream and it's very clear that Alois has a strong reaction to the claim being challenged, just like Nate did).

The first time Nate is mounted by Janusz, his experience is actually largely positive, and while he's distressed because the situation is distressing, he feels comforted, safe, and he is able to relax. He only starts to relax negatively when Janusz starts deliberately antagonising the claim. That happens through language like 'say that I'm your alpha' or 'say that you're my omega.'

Anton has never done with Flitmouse. The closest he gets in one of the early access chapters is saying 'I'm your alpha' and Flitmouse's immediate, visceral reaction is 'you're NOT MY-' and then he cuts himself off, shocked at how strong and deep that reaction is. Make no mistake, when it comes time to break Vadim's claim of Flitmouse, it will be agonising, and Flitmouse will likely have to be sedated throughout.

So like, the mounting itself wasn't the challenge. If Janusz had mounted Nate again and never made him say 'you're my alpha' - they would have had zero problems and Nate would have found it relaxing again, it's that simple.

Likewise, Anton's never made Flitmouse say things like 'you're my alpha' because he knows that would be agonising for Flitmouse, because of the claim.

So in a way, you just have yet seen how Flitmouse will react when this stuff starts happening. Flitmouse does like Anton, it's true, but that claim is still there and we've never seen it truly challenged because it would be incredibly irresponsible for them to challenge it while Flitmouse is medically unwell and weak. It could kill him, even if he's healthy, just like it nearly kills Nate.

It was never about the mounting, anon, it's about the words. That's why the first time Janusz mounts Nate, it's fine! I mean Nate's still stressed because the situation is stressful, but you might want to reread that scene in chapter 11 if you've forgotten. Nate unwinds, relaxes, feels comforted, and then begins to get teary because of how much emotion he's repressing. But he doesn't have a catastrophic reaction at all!

It's all down to the words that the new alpha is making the omega say. And Anton hasn't prodded that yet, he senses just how dangerous that will be. He gets close in an early access chapter, just by saying something himself (not making Flitmouse say anything) and Flitmouse's response is so immediate and physical that he offers immediate comfort and stops.

So yeah, in terms of being specific, mounting is fine! Mounting doesn't challenge a claim. And in that sense, Anton has never challenged Vadim's claim, and that's why Flitmouse has never reacted like Nate has to a challenge. Because we've never seen it with Flitmouse/Anton.

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I'm so so so looking forward to Ef learning Faber feels like an omega. Not just bc it's something he can uniquely understand but i just knowwww he's gonna be even softer for/with Faber. Faber SO needs a gentle alpha friend🥺 I wonder if Faber will tell him or clock it himself. (I know you can't answer that.) I'm just!! So excited! Imagine them nesting, whether it's alpha!Ef being invited in or two omegas sharing ndjddj💕 I need it!! (And w Flitmouse too!!)

I definitely think Efnisien will find out one day, and be zero surprised when he doesn't find out. Though I don't know exactly when or how it will happen, I never expected him to mention Caleb to Efnisien though, so we'll see!

But I do really love Efnisien as a supportive friend and ally to Faber, and I think he's one of the only people who can firsthand understand what Faber is going through in a way that would be very genuine and supportive. So even though there's a lot of angst in Underline the Red right now, at least we know there's some support waiting in the wings!

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Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 17 of Underline the Gold:

‘Oh. I see. He’s claimed?’ ‘It’s recent,’ Bennett said. ‘They’ve been here for a long time. They’ll be here for a long time to come. It’s a complicated case for a lot of reasons. The first meeting would be supervised. Anton and this other alpha would be nearby, but not directly involved in the conversation. The time you spend together would be capped, so you can both take time to see how it feels to talk to each other. Some people just don’t get along, and you’re both...’ ‘Damaged?’ ‘I was going to say you’re both very intelligent, and sharp people. And sometimes sharp people cut each other with their edges, even without intending to. I see a lot of similarities. And I think you deserve some friends who are omegas, Flitmouse. I know that’s very threatening for you, but Vadim weaponised his cheating against you, and you - in turn - developed attitudes towards other omegas that aren’t exactly very humanising. Perhaps if you saw they were just ordinary people...’ ‘I have to think about it,’ Flitmouse snapped, and then ducked his head. ‘Sorry. I just- I’m... Even if he doesn’t want Anton - and who wouldn’t? - I’m still... I’m still an older omega.’ ‘You frame it like a terrible thing, but sometimes, Flitmouse, all a person wants is a mentor to help them understand the world.’ ‘But I barely understand it!’

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Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 14 of Underline the Gold:

‘I’ve just had a pretty interesting chat with Temsen,’ Anton said. ‘Baby, why didn’t you bring it up with me, after talking to Bennett?’ ‘The internal exam?’ Flitmouse said, double checking. Anton nodded. ‘Why would I bring it up, if Temsen said it didn’t count, or if you didn’t...want to? I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but after the session. Oh, I don’t know.’ ‘So internal exams can be pretty intense,’ Anton said, sighing. ‘Do you want to come over to the couch to talk about it? It won’t be like when I checked you during your last half-heat. You might... Are you sure you don’t want Temsen to do it?’ ‘Do you want Temsen to do it?’ Flitmouse said, twisting his hands together. ‘I can’t, Anton. I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s such a silly hang-up to have, I know, and it would be ever so much more convenient if I let him. But something about- I can’t.’ ‘You don’t have to explain it to me,’ Anton said. ‘Come over to the couch and I’ll walk you through it, okay? And then you can decide if you still want that from me.’

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ok so I saw that you dont get many asks about this so i've worked up the courage to finally ask this but for Anton and Flitmouse in TGATNW, have you thought about how it would develop in that universe compared to UTG. Tbh, I was originally actually interested in them bc Flitmouse wants monogamy and has self-worth issues about himself while Anton is confident and has fucked just about everyone and likes it that way. But in UTR that kind of conflict doesnt really work the same way and seems to be heading for a different route. Would Anton have dedicated himself to Flitmouse (like in UTG) or would Flitmouse have grown to be less insecure about it all?

Btw, I love them both lotss, and they were the pairing that got me to read the rest of the UTR series <3

Tbh one of the reasons I stopped writing the story in The Golden Age that Never Was is because I knew it would never have a truly happy ending and I struggle to commit to stories like that.

Like, Flitmouse is mortal, Anton is immortal. Flitmouse is highly jealous, and Anton is immortal literally because every mortal he knows and loves will die and that grief kills him, for decades upon decades. Flitmouse knows Anton's love for him will do this and that Anton will then go on to have sex with lots of other people, and Anton knows that this breaks Flitmouse's heart and refuses to compromise because Flitmouse isn't a golden warrior.

In Underline the Gold they still get to have a happy ending. Because Flitmouse can be jealous or possessive but Anton is committed to him literally through their job. I can touch on an age discrepancy without having one literally live forever.

I do think in All The Loose Threads Flitmouse would have eventually adjusted, but I still think he would have always been a bit bitter and cynical about it in a way that's like... I always imagined his last years alive as an old man being quite painful for him because of it. After a while I was like 'I...can't write these two characters in this specific format because I love them so much and I want them to have a happy ending.'

It was just hard to imagine that without thinking of the weight of Flitmouse's and Anton's knowledge that it would all end in a level of heartbreak for Anton that we can't imagine for ourselves, because we're not immortal.

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Not really a question but I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE underline the black. Im on chapter 67 after binging it the last two days and it’s so good.

It’s been a while since ive read unpublished fanfic-site books and your writing quality is so good, plus im a huge fan of the plot.

I don’t really leave comments on works ever but you always advertise your tumblr in your notes and I figured I would appreciate it if someone told me they loved something I put a lot of effort into.

Hi anon,

THANK YOU so much, this is such a lovely message :D And I'm so glad you're enjoying the writing! Oh man, chapter 67, they're in like some of the crunchiest aspects of their relationship! It does get better, but oof, Efnisien and Gary sure go through it for a while.

I really enjoy the ability to publish serials on AO3 the way I do. I don't have to worry about wordcount caps like some people have to on Tapas. I don't have to worry about following a strict formula (the story would have been over 300k ago, if that was the case). There's a real freedom in getting to write in a way that allows me to see what folks are thinking, alter aspects of the story as needed, and roll with the vibe, so to speak.

There's so many things in this story that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for readers - Flitmouse being in the story more and offering emotional support, Faber and Efnisien becoming friends and seeing each other more, even many of the Temsen and Efnisien scenes! :D

So, y'know, thank you as well for reading, because that's awesome

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[4 May - Taurus]

Our beloved, sharp-mouthed, insecure fashion designer and tailor, Alois Flitmouse was first introduced as a minor side character in The Golden Age that Never Was and quickly ascended to significant ensemble character, Jack's first friend, and Anton's lover. He hides a past filled with horrendous familial and partner abuse, and is extremely protective of the people he loves.

I want you to be brave and tell me that you’ll lie to your boss and be my companion. But all I really want is a quiet place to be protected before it’s all over. I know it’s terribly uncouth for an omega to speak this way, to behave like this. I think you’ll find I’m rather terrible at being an omega, and I’m no longer interested in being good at it. I don’t want to be knotted by you. I don’t want your cock, though I’m sure omegas lose their minds over it. I don’t want anything except that sweet smile of yours and the promise that you won’t ever hit me.

Underline the Gold

The Golden Age that Never Was (fanfiction) - Alois was an original character, a snippy tailor and double agent for the resistance who gets abducted and taken to an Asylum. We discover that Anton is in love with him, Alois is in love with Anton, and Alois struggles to be friends with everyone due to a rough upbringing and deep insecurities.

Underline the Gold - Finally getting his own proper story in Underline the Gold, it becomes clear that Flitmouse is fighting for his life and fighting against severe mental disorders. His consistent strength and bravery, even in the face of his own despair, becomes the thing that Anton falls hard for from the very beginning.

Underline the Black - Flitmouse appears as a side character here, but a vital one, becoming the first omega to see Efnisien for who he is, and validate him exploring that further.

All the Loose Threads (abandoned) - Flitmouse's first side story, I ended up not continuing it not due to lack of interest, but because over time I became sure that Flitmouse deserved something that would get more eyes on it - an original story for example. That became Underline the Gold!

An exceptionally competent tailor and fashion designer with an excellent eye, Alois Flitmouse wears attractive clothing, is savvy about fashion, and interested in making clothing that is comfortable but also cutting edge and innovative. In Underline the Gold this extends to him sometimes adopting characters as his own personal models.

Flitmouse has hazel eyes, dark brown tufty hair that looks a bit like he's run his hand through it about 15 times, because he usually has. It often looks fashionable, but secretly he thinks it's very untidy. He wears black-rimmed glasses which suit his angular face.

Flitmouse is generally quite short and thin, and he has a fussy disposition. He's quick to cast judgement and even insult, despite possessing extremely thin skin himself.

A lot more politically savvy than he first appears, Flitmouse is usually quite well-read on the politics that concern him most, and able to debate at length about the things he cares about.

In The Golden Age that Never Was, we realise just how desperately Anton and Flitmouse are in love when Anton finds him locked away in the dark, in solitary confinement, dying in an Asylum. Flitmouse is overcome with emotion, not wanting to be seen by the love of his life, and Anton doesn't care what Flitmouse looks like, he's so overwhelmed by his lover still being alive.

In Underline the Black, Flitmouse comes through as a first suspicious and then fiercely protective omega when - in his first meeting with Efnisien - he goes from expecting the worst, to realising that Efnisien has been through the worst, and wanting to shelter him from it. At that point, he becomes ride or die for Efnisien, and Efnisien gains his first omega friend and ally.

In Underline the Gold, Flitmouse, going through a horrendous corrupted heat and in agony, refuses all medical intervention. As a last ditch attempt, Dr Temsen suggests that Flitmouse consume pheromones unconventionally - through saliva, or semen. To everyone's surprise, Flitmouse chooses semen, and is quite happy to do so, reminding everyone that he can be viscerally sensual when he wants to be.

Always a tailor. In Underline the Gold this became expanded to him being a master of the sartorial, working in haute couture. He's no longer a servant, but an exclusive fashion designer selling some of his items for thousands of dollars each.

Flitmouse's appearance doesn't generally change. He has more scars in Underline the Gold. But honestly, not that many more.

Flitmouse's dialogue is always quite sharp and verbally cutting. He can be extremely tender at times, which reveals just how deeply he cares for others, but there are layers of sharpness above it.

Flitmouse's dad is always abusive, and his ex is always Vadim, who was also abusive, and cheated regularly.

Flitmouse lets almost no one call him by his first name. You only know you've reached his inner circle when he permits being called Alois by you.

Flitmouse will use aspects of his abusive past as 'shock value' in conversation, but it's rare for him to genuinely bring up how much he was hurt by his upbringing.

Flitmouse was one of those characters I made because I needed some servant staff and I needed a reason for Jack Frost's 'costume' to come into existence. Enter Flitmouse, who actually had no first name when I first created him - he was literally a spontaneous creation while writing the story. I wanted his name to sound like his personality, sharp, agitated, quick, mousy, insecure.

Flitmouse was an interesting character to me. I rarely write characters who feel jealous to the degree that Flitmouse does, and that was an interesting thing to explore. I tend to think jealousy can be toxic depending on how it's expressed, and Flitmouse can definitely be toxic about it. I liked using Anton and Flitmouse as a good way of showing Anton's uncompromising relationship values, against Flitmouse's jealousy.

I've always had a soft spot for Flitmouse since the very first moment I locked him down. That's why he ended up getting Anton, who I also love.

Flitmouse is a bit different to many of the characters I write. He's not that introverted. He enjoys socialising with safe people and he loves gossip, and even in Underline the Gold he's often travelling out to the nearby towns to meet people and vendors even though he knows that's less safe than staying just with Anton. Flitmouse is probably one of the most social characters I've met outside of Eran who is an outright extrovert. Despite Flitmouse's general disposition, he's actually very good at being charming with strangers in his sharp, wry ways, and is good at making connections.

I was the person everyone came to, to have socks darned or the in-seams of pants mended. It was so useful, but when I said I wanted to take it further, they mocked me. I take after my father. But he was more of a blade than even me. When he mocked me, his words cut.

The Golden Age that Never Was

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Birthday Spotlight - Ohlo Ohlo Temsen

[17th April - Aries]

Ohlo Ohlo Temsen, or just 'Temsen', is an incredibly overpowered vench in the Fae Tales alternate universe story The Nascent Diplomat. There, he is introduced first as a stern but compassionate healer, and later as a spokesperson, diplomat, member of royalty and someone so adept at magic that he would happily take on the Raven Prince and likely win.

Taking on the job of Gwyn's healer, becoming Augus' friend, Temsen guides both through the growth of their relationship and the mending of Gwyn's magic in the underground caves of Aethelwaters, deepening their understanding of intimacy, and needing a great deal of it himself to survive.

Temsen is often quite opaque, especially as we've gotten to know him more as a peak alpha in the Underline the Rainbow universe. He's cheerful and steady but also unafraid to be strict and commanding. He can be unexpectedly flexible, or very rigid. What's clear is his dedication to helping those less fortunate (and less powerful) than him, and his dedication to becoming a healer in every story we've seen him in.

'You have been so alone, and I do not think you are like the to-ahl, as some of the others say. You were not meant to be alone.'

The Nascent Diplomat

The Nascent Diplomat: Temsen first appears as a healer from the Ohlo Ohlo clan who comes to take care of Gwyn after he kills the to'ahl, gets poisoned, and wounds Kithkalkith Kimerrin. It becomes clear quickly that Temsen holds a significant amount of power and negotiating weight among his people, however, his weakness is that he cannot be away from his clan or from touch for long at all, forcing Gwyn and Augus to have frequent physical contact with him for his own health.

The Nascent Diplomat: Temsen really helps the rest of the story to continue coming alive. He heals Gwyn's magic, but more importantly serves as a healing compass to both Augus and Gwyn. He is accommodating but firm enough to make sure that Gwyn never strays from the path of growth, and it's clear that he has affection in his heart for these fae from the above, even if he has zero respect for other aspects of their lives, including the School of the Staff.

Also he point blank said he would fight the Raven Prince and even go to war with him due to his abuse and neglect of Gwyn, so you know...

Underline the Black: Appearing as the head doctor at Hillview Rehabilitation Facility, Temsen is a peak alpha who lives his best life as someone who doesn't need a relationship because he's responsible for the health of about twenty five omegas at any one time. He comes in clutch to assist Efnisien repeatedly during some rough gender issues, and also acts as a firm father figure, reminding him that young alphas do not disrespect or abuse other people just because they can.

Underline the Blue: We see Temsen at his most fallible here, as both Janusz' supervisor at Hillview, and Nate's doctor, we see the gaps in Hillview's ability to match alphas and omegas, and also in how they handle early heats and difficult situations. Temsen misses that Nate is an atypical omega, and ends up with an alpha who develops PTSD due to the methods he used to try and get Nate to bond with him.

Underline the Gold: Temsen becomes extremely involve with Flitmouse's care in Underline the Gold when he realises the extent of his Anorexia Nervosa, and later when Flitmouse undergoes corrupted heats. Flitmouse and Temsen don't always see eye-to-eye, especially on certain invasive exams. Temsen isn't afraid to manipulate Flitmouse to get what he wants, but in the face of a firm withdrawal of consent, he shows that he has the ability to concede and let the omega guide the way.

Underline the Red: While only mentioned so far, Temsen eventually becomes Faber's interim boss, changing their connection forever.

Among the vench, Temsen is a member of the Ohlo Ohlo clan and they all look the same (and indeed all vench look quite similar). But in the Underline universe where he spends more of his time these days, Temsen is African-Australian, his mother is a Kenyan immigrant and a doctor, and his father is Australian, and a doctor. He's multilingual, and can speak Kiswahili, Elgeyo, English, Indonesian, and Mandarin. He's semi-lingual in Vietnamese.

Temsen deliberately wears clothing that makes him seem less threatening, in the same way that he deliberately makes himself seem less threatening in the Nascent Diplomat as well.

Temsen can have a slightly formal intonation. In TND it sounds like he's still discovering how to translate his language into Gwyn's and Augus' language, and in Underline he's more likely to say things like 'goodness!' and be very direct and not prevaricate.

Temsen is always kind of overpowered in whatever he's doing, as a healer, as an alpha, as a doctor, he's just always at the top of his game.

Temsen is someone who can be physically intimate with a lot of people, but isn't inclined to have a very special 'someone' in his life.

Temsen taking on the Raven Prince and threatening to go to war over his treatment of Gwyn, and the Raven Prince essentially bowing to that and admitting he was right, was a pretty stellar moment actually.

In Underline the Black Temsen sailed in as the white knight to save Efnisien from his fear of being forced into the shape of an omega, and in a single conversation in front of a projector, managed to solve a lot of problems for Gary and Efnisien in one fell swoop. For that reason, I couldn't have him in the story for quite a few chapters lol. He's too powerful!

Always extremely competent and well-educated, but also willing to admit to his faults and apologise.

Relatively open to other's experiences, but you always get the sense that he holds back some of his counsel and that you're never quite seeing all of him, despite his direct way of speaking.

Despite having the power and status to act refined, arrogant and pompous, Temsen prefers to come across as humble and receptive, but sometimes it's clear that he's doing this in a calculating manner.

Temsen is always a healer!

Temsen is always a leader

Temsen started as a throwaway character. Even with all of my worldbuilding and character creation, I found myself suddenly needing a healer and I very quickly cobbled together a bunch of traits and made Temsen. We were only supposed to see him a few times, and he was never supposed to be as powerful as he became. He was a breakaway hit, and ends up becoming more prominent in the story as a result!

I think Temsen has outrageous chemistry with everyone, honestly.

I initially shipped Temsen and Gwyn together in Underline and I also ship them together in TND, but in a very low key way. If I think about very porny AU oneshots, Temsen/Gwyn has come up for me a few times. I don't think I'll write it, because I think they'll be intense/depressing.

Temsen's anger is one of my favourite things to write, so I may be looking for more opportunities to make that happen!

'In vench society, we measure our worth by how we treat those we care for. Not by our magical achievement, not by our individual jobs, not by the different aspects of our personalities. All of those things only matter in connection to how we treat those we care for. It is how we value other societies, though we find many in the above sorely lacking by our standards. We know our standards are unique, and we do not seek to press them upon anyone else. But Gwyn is my ward, his healing is under my domain and therefore the domain of all the vench, and it disturbs me as a healer to release him to someone who would do this to him. There is nothing to stop you from doing untold damage to him in the future. I can heal what we did to him. I should not have to heal what you did to him.'

The Nascent Diplomat

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Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 94 of Underline the Black:

‘It’s too soon,’ Efnisien said. ‘You’re always going to feel that way,’ Gary said, standing next to him by the passenger door. ‘You’re going to get into the car, sit down, put your seatbelt on, and we’re going to head out.’ They’d talked about it a couple of days before, and Efnisien had been nervous at the time but reluctantly agreed to going out. He’d felt powerful then, because he’d been inside the cottage, and outside felt far away and distant, and he’d given Gary a massage the day before. He pulled the coat Flitmouse had made for him closer around himself and resisted when Gary pushed at his lower back. ‘I can’t.’ ‘I promise that you can.’ Efnisien reached to the scar at the back of his neck, stared into the car. It looked comfortable enough. ‘You can look at the maps app on your phone the entire time,’ Gary said, ‘and track where we’re going that way. Would that help?’ ‘Why do I have to leave?’ ‘Because you get to learn how to be a person, Efnisien, like everyone else. Because – just like the trail – there’s a world of experiences out there which will help you understand yourself and the world in a different way.’ ‘We can go to the trail,’ Efnisien insisted. Gary pulled Efnisien into him, one hand curving around his head and tipping it down so that his forehead was pressed to Gary’s shoulder. And Gary pressed his lips to Efnisien’s hair and said: ‘I will use alpha persuasion, Efnisien, and I’ll enjoy doing it.’ ‘You’re such a fuckhead.’ ‘I really am,’ Gary said. ‘Get in the car.’

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Daily excerpt from chapter 83 of Underline the Black:

‘I mean, you’re not wrong,’ Flitmouse said, laughing to himself, the sound harsh. ‘How are you holding up, darling?’ Efnisien shifted his weight and took his phone out of his pocket, opening the camera. Ever since his last walk with Gary in the forest, Efnisien had been taking photos of the most random shit. He took a photo of one of the half-dressed mannequins. ‘I don’t know,’ Efnisien said finally. ‘Gary made me watch some porn with him. Like, peak alpha porn.’ ‘That’s…’ Flitmouse rubbed his fingers over a creamy looking fabric and then his shoulders slumped. ‘Yes, you did tell me. Peak alphas are useless.’ ‘I think he’s trying to let me know what’s coming. He told me I didn’t have to watch, or even go through with anything. He’s told me that before.’ ‘But that’s not helpful, is it? That’s not the problem you’re actually having, is it?’ Flitmouse said sharply. ‘How much easier would this all be if you just didn’t want it?’

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Daily excerpt from today's writing, chapter 10 of Underline the Gold:

'No,' Anton said. 'I want to comfort you. But I also want to be clear that it's unfair of you to make it seem like my feelings are less because I've been with other omegas. I know you can't hhelp the jealousy, I know that, but you weaponise it to make it feel like what I'm giving to you now isn't real or meaningful. Did Vadim cheat on you?'  'Don't ask me that,' Flitmouse said. 'You can guess. Haven't I already said it before?' 'Did he?' The alpha persuasion was strong. Flitmouse sucked in a huge, awful breath. 'Yes.'  'I'm so sorry, Alois. I don't know how anyone could do that to you. Do you feel like me having partners in the past is the same?' 'Don't make me answer that. I know it's not.' 'I know, baby, you're really smart. But knowing something isn't like that, doesn't mean you don't feel the same way.'  Flitmouse didn't know he was going to cry about this. Didn't know this was something even worth crying about. His shoulders heaved in a weak sob, and Anton brought him closer, his knees drawing up protectively.  'Did he do it a lot?' Anton asked softly.  Flitmouse shrugged. 'I don't know what a lot means.' 'Okay. Um. Let me think. Well, if you ask me, once is too much. But let's say... did he start doing that early in the relationship? And with more than one person?'  Flitmouse wiped angrily at his face and nodded.  'Yeah?' Anton said, his voice sweet and soft. 'What a complete asshole. Hate that guy. That must've been really hard on you.'  'He started before he claimed me,' Flitmouse said brokenly. 'It was one of the things we fought about so badly at the beginning. And he... He... There was this time, oh, it's so stupid, Anton. But I found out he'd been cheating - this silly baby-faced omega who would have done anything for him - and I was going to leave him. I was packing my bags to leave him. So he claimed me. He bit me that day. Told me I couldn't leave. I had to- I had to learn my place. Had to learn an omega's place, you- you understand? I had to be made to learn. And he'd been so nice to me. He'd been so nice to me, for such a long time. It was the only thing for such a long time that I thought he did wrong, that he cheated, the only thing. I would have put up with it, I think I could have- Perhaps I could have, if he'd just apologised.' Flitmouse couldn't stop the crying now, his breaths coming in shaky jags, body shaking as he remembered one of the worst periods of his life that left him feeling dumb and dazed for two years after. Everything reforming around the claim on the back of his neck, and losing so many of his clients, because he vanished from social media for a few months.  'He'd been so nice,' Flitmouse sobbed. 'He had such a gentle smile, just for me. And he was so sweet, and he could be so...so tender. But you've met me, haven't you? I'm all- I'm all hard edges, and I make everyone else like that too.' 'Baby,' Anton said softly, sounding tortured. 

[not-poignant]

awh i had been wondering to ask if it would ever come up in utr but the last excerpt was exactly that! we usually see alpha - omega comfort but i rarely have read omegas comforting each other….theres just something about it that seems to give Extra Comfort! at first i thought maybe a scene with nate but he seems less sociable than flitmouse, who i thought might have been too jaded. and ef wasnt in the omega category until recently. so im happy to see it happening after all! alois overcoming his own reservations/issues because his nurturing/protective side is stronger is very sweet also. btw is flitmouse much shorter than efnisien? i remembered you once mentioning ef being taller than faber and even caleb. i know this is a silly question but who is the shortest character in the universe? 😂 im short just looking for comrades. ok ok cant wait for the chapter! thank u! xx

Hi anon!

We have multiple chapters of omega + omega comfort coming, in different ways, but chapters 103 and 105 deliver actual like... physical comfort and snuggling. I actually never thought I'd be able to write this when I first started Underline the Black! Efnisien was in such a hostile place re: omegas, and Gary was so incredibly closed to the idea of letting anyone with that much hatred anywhere near the omegas at Hillview.

But things really have changed so much for Efnisien, and so now I'm getting to write stuff that I honestly said was probably not possible in the very beginning!

Flitmouse is quite a bit shorter than Efnisien!

I have no idea who the shortest character in the universe is though, because I don't really do specific/exact heights outside of like 'Gary is taller than Efnisien, omegas are shorter than alphas' etc. The dyscalculia and my issues around numbers make those sorts of specific details really elusive to me, and even if I make something up, I never remember them so I contradict them constantly. So instead we get 'alphas taller than omegas, Efnisien tall because ardolphogen, Flitmouse shorter than alphas' etc.

Lucien's pretty petite though! And you definitely have a lot of short comrades among the omegas! :D

[not-poignant]

Hello Pia, I hope your day is going well! 👋

I was wondering if you could expand on the process of, like, Hillview finding alphas for graduates? It's been mentioned a few times- like lucien is going to graduate back to the alpha partner he was with previously who sent him there, but mosk is being placed with Erin and his family, and henton has mentioned an application process now a few times. Early talk had Efnisien going to someone who "didn't mind atypical partners, or even just wants companionship" which suggests it's not necessarily a sort of matchmaking service. It's giving more a sort of dog adoption process, especially those found among specialty rescues (lol) , which seems right on track with a dystopia where omegas can't even get a full education.

I imagine the application process is screening for safety and welfare and general things like that? Is there a like, several meetings with the omega to determine compatibility? Would someone like Flitmouse (in a cruel au where Anton doesn't exist) be able to graduate independently, or is this universe such that an omega *really* can't exist without some kind of alpha/beta/family guardian? (Even if only on paper)

Thank you!

Hi hi anon!

Let's get into worldbuilding :D

I mean you're basically right in saying it's like a dog adoption process. But actually in reality, it's much more like a thorough child adoption process. I.e. There are people who wait a long time - sometimes years or over a decade - to be considered candidates for a particular child. They go through a lot of applications, vetting, police clearances, interviews, and then there will be supervised child / prospective parent interviews before a trial happens, and custody is handed over. Obviously for disreputable ORFs, the process cuts a lot of corners and favours abusive alphas.

About half of the omegas dropped off return to the people who dropped them off, and don't actually need to be reassigned. For the rest, about 20% were abandoned and don't know it (like Nate), and the other 30% are ones who will be removed from the original custody of the people who dropped them off and reassigned.

This is why Hillview often makes a point later of saying they have custody of an omega when they're terrified of going back to an abuser, and they encourage alphas to sign away the custody under the guise of 'this allows us to field all liability should anything happen so you're not culpable' etc.

So for the 50% that will essentially be reassigned, there's a long wait-list similar to what we actually see with adoption.

It is 99% of the time a matchmaking service, because omegas must be sexually serviced competently during a heat. Efnisien's an exception (but also, not really. He barely got through his heat without significant medical intervention because he didn't have penetrative sex), and that's something they'll consider for him, but I would say you could safely assume the rest of the time, sexual consummation of a heat would be considered a fundamental / non-negotiable part of the candidate's abilities to provide a home. For this reason, omegas are never exited to other omegas, betas, or families that don't have an alpha that can't fulfill this requirement.

That being said, there are alphas who can fulfill this requirement who don't want a really deeply loving and romantic relationship, and offer heat consummation, a home, safety, and support as almost a platonic service. So this does happen, it's just rare. Alphas that want to care for someone, and have the drive to consummate heats (which many alphas are drawn to doing), but don't want to be tied up in something romantic, will join waitlists for this reason.

Compatibility is often determined before the omega and alpha meet. Though omegas often get a chance to look through a short-list of files (inc video interview) and make choices based on that in advance. Some alphas have been waiting so long they fall in love with other omegas while waiting and drop off the waitlists. The waitlist is long, there are far more alphas who want an omega who is more independent and 'themselves' than omegas who need them.

There's often significant age gaps though, because many younger alphas are more likely to be in their 'have to control / fuck omegas' and older alphas often realise they want genuine companionship. That's not always true, but that's the overall trend.

But yeah, after that process, there's meetings with the alpha, and the alpha's family. (It's important they make sure they aren't exiting an omega into an abusive family situation where the omega is expected to be 'the help'). There's in-person meetings where potential chemistry, compassion, and sensitivity can be observed. For example, they can learn a lot by how tolerant an alpha is of a pre-existing bond, how tolerant they are of the alpha companion, and how compassionate they are to the fact that their omega will be leaving a bond to re-bond. Interviews often include alpha persuasion by peak alphas like Gary and Temsen, to actually make sure the alpha in question isn't secretly a rapist, monster, etc.

Some alphas meet their omegas more often than others. In the case of Lucien and Denis, they only had to meet once, and that was to review changes and lifestyle support / suggestions. Denis has already gone through an ongoing vetting process, and is trusted, and Lucien's never wavered in wanting to go back to him.

Eran on the other hand had to go through an extremely thorough process, because this alphas are given the responsibility of continuing supporting an omega's autonomy while providing care and compassion. They need to set up support networks, create opportunities for genuine friendships beyond the alpha-omega unit, and create opportunities for education, interdependence and other forms of care.

We can see them talking about the meetings in Underline the Black but it's not the focus of the story so it's only mentioned briefly.

The session with Caleb wrapped up, and Gary felt an affectionate spite, sending Temsen an email letting him know to arrange a transition phase for Lucien and Caleb, starting with a meeting with Denis. This would be the sort of thing he'd be organising in his role as manager of the facility. It was nice, knowing his requests might annoy Temsen. 

Faber later:

'That's… I wanted to say that we've arranged a date for Denis Deschamps to meet with Lucien Beaumont and Caleb, Sirs. Sir.''

Would someone like Flitmouse (in a cruel au where Anton doesn't exist) be able to graduate independently, or is this universe such that an omega *really* can't exist without some kind of alpha/beta/family guardian?

Yes! This is actually talked about more than once in Underline the Gold. Flitmouse even threatens Temsen with it at some point:

'...You're free to leave, of course, that option is always yours, but you have to understand that…we can't let an illness go untreated if you decide to stay, even if you are paying to stay here.' (This is something Temsen reminds him of, and not something Flitmouse mentions at the time).'

And Flitmouse very much believes it's an option to the point of teasing Anton about it:

'You don't have to put up with me,' Flitmouse said, reaching out, fingers hovering near Anton's jaw, but not risking the touch in case it wasn't wanted, wasn't allowed. 'Lovely boy, don't you know that yet? I could leave tomorrow.'

So yeah Flitmouse has full autonomy. He can't make them not treat his eating disorder, because they're a health facility, but he can absolutely leave without being paired with anyone because he's funding his own stay!

Flitmouse has financial autonomy, so even though it would be dangerous for him to leave, Hillview would grant him full rights to. It's one of the reasons Flitmouse chose Hillview in the first place. I think they only thing they'd point out is that while Flitmouse is claimed by Vadim, Flitmouse can be targeted by him and even killed by him in the 'real world' outside of Hillview, and Hillview is in some ways a secure sanctuary as much as anything else.

[not-poignant]

May 2024 Writing Round-Up

Here’s the monthly round-up of everything written and posted in May 2024!

Here’s the chapters that were released:

Underline the Black 88

Underline the Gold 09

Underline the Gold 10

Constellations 06

The Nascent Diplomat 44

Constellations 09 (Gary+Efnisien Tier+)

Underline the Gold 10 (Gwyn+Augus Tier+)

Underline the Gold 11 (Gwyn+Augus Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Blue - 11 (Mosk+Eran Tier)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Blue - 12 (Mosk+Eran Tier)

Birthday Spotlights

Alois Flitmouse

Fenwrel the Mouse Maiden

FANFICTION

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 37

Palmarosa 23

Palmarosa 24

~

Behind the scenes I managed 32,108 words in May, which is huge, over twice as much as April. I wrote across Constellations, A Stain that Won't Dissolve, Underline the Blue and Palmarosa.

The hiatus from a more full schedule has been helping, and has made me realise I need to come back in July with a smaller schedule, but the option to post bonus chapters like this month! I loved putting up an unexpected Black and Stain chapter! :D

~

Toby has recovered from being neutered. I've had time to think about work-life balance and how to keep my health, well, healthy. It's difficult wrangling jobs like this sometimes! I don't really have any role models in some ways because no one else is doing this job the same way I am (most people would not make their original stories publicly available, for a start, they'd paywall everything).

I'm rethinking whether to keep going with the birthday spotlights. If I do, I think I'll only do one a month and then cumulatively add characters over time. I severely underestimated how much time they take!

So happy to be writing more again though. :D

~

As always, you can support the stories you love by subscribing over at Patreon and Ream! You can also follow for free, and just get email notifications of news and other things that I release to everyone. :D

[not-poignant]

Why did Temsen decide to let James' sister into the grounds? Rather than leave her outside the gate? Did he manipulate the situation as well as he did when he let Gwyn into the grounds? But he couldn't have calculated the situation enough to know that Efnisien would meet with his sister and say what everyone had wanted to say for a long time.

This is definitely going to get talked about in the story! So I'm not going to go into too much detail but:

Gary told Flitmouse it was okay to let James' family onto the grounds specifically in a phone conversation in the story.

Temsen did not think in a million years that Gary would act like such a fucking idiot and not contact him before going over to Cella.

Temsen's actually really angry at Gary for acting like a civilian and not like a professional

Did he manipulate the situation as well as he did when he let Gwyn into the grounds?

So at the time, Temsen and Gary talked about Gwyn visiting like professionals. And what did Gary not behave like when it came to Cella?

A professional.

So yeah, how could Temsen manipulate the situation as well? He literally sent Gary endless calls and text messages to contact him so they could coordinate. He'd likely been sending them for over an hour, along with Faber.

Gary fucked up. Like, Temsen and Faber fucked up too. But Gary really fucked up. And he is about to get professionally called out on it.

All Gary had to do was return a call before taking action. Mistakes were made on all sides, but Gary hardcore dropped the ball, and behaved very immaturely and Temsen is very 'heyyyyy what the fuck man' about that. Like, literally calls Gary into his office like a disappointed teacher to be like: 'Tried to do my job and you literally made it impossible at every opportunity, how am I supposed to coordinate with you when you act like an idiot.'

But he says it very nicely, and he also apologises.

But yeah, the why is because Gary literally gives Faber permission to let James' family onto the grounds! That one is in the story already. He didn't manipulate the situation as well because Gary didn't give them a chance to coordinate first like he did re: Gwyn visiting.

There was a decent period of time where Gary could have made many different choices and he just...didn't.

[not-poignant]

oh god im having a moment. this may seem obvious but…i know that utr is set in australia…theres more than a few references….to australia.. and ….australian things..but i only now realised that means everyone has an australian accent omg 😭😭😭😭(me to my brain: “why didnt you tell me” my brain back: “girl are you forreal”) idk why this is so surprising to me…im slow. so all the conversations that happened…. happened with an aussie accent….temsen…gary….gwyn 😭 i know faber has more of a british accent right? idk why i remembered that but then didn’t think about calebs accent… this is amazing, its also embarrassing for me but i am protected by the veil of online anonymity so im just rolling on my couch going through past conversations in the stories re-imagining them. wait that means YOU also have an australian accent!! i LOVE australian accent!!!! almost as much as kiwi but then again i hear that one even less than aussie accents… 😂 oke have a good sunday..or wait what time is it over there?! have a good time from 9pm germany 🇩🇪 cheers mate

Ahaha, this was so great to get

Okay so firstly, I think it's fairly universal that most of us don't think of ourselves as having accents, so unless a character has a very distinct accent, I don't think of their accents at all. For that reason, I also have zero problems when people just imagine the accent that is normal to them!

Secondly, what most people know as the Australian accent is very particular to certain parts of Australia. Most people haven't heard a Perth accent, which is a lot milder overall than say, a Queensland accent. And class really influences how people talk. Like, most of these people aren't saying 'mate' for a reason, it's just not part of their daily language. So...in that sense, it wouldn't be accurate to imagine a standard television Australian accent either. It's kind of jokey, in the same way that people put on really overdone German or Russian accents, you know it's not always reflective of reality.

I love Kiwi accents too btw, so good. :D Early Flight of the Conchords forever!

But, yes, they are in Australia and they do have...Australian accents. Kadek's probably one of the most 'ocker', Faber is one of the fanciest speakers (as is Flitmouse, though he picked up his accent out of choice lol), though Gary's up there too because he came from a very educated and relatively upper class family (as is Efnisien, when he can stop swearing for five seconds!)

Characters who have a more standard Australian accent would be Janusz, Caleb, Nate, Kadek and I would say Anton's about in the middle.

But, again, if it's just easier and more comfortable to imagine whatever your internal 'generic accent' is - imagine that! For me that's actually like... a neutral English accent, for I think most people it's American! I don't even think my neutral accent is Australian, lmao, because I'm influenced by coming from a family of immigrants (Dutch + English + Russian) and watching a lot of TV growing up of which the majority wasn't Australian, and of course thinking of my own accent as just 'neutral' which it absolutely isn't.

Accents are weird!