#attention. I think there’s a way to work against it but it’s literally programmed into their brains and they don’t even have full brains ye

[sh5]

ppl will complain for days on days about how the kids who’re posting their first fanfic to AO3 try to circumvent the “algorithm” (nonexistent) by changing post dates and such, treating it like a social media and vying for likes. and I want to look people in the eyes and be like: you know the answer is moderation, right? you know that literal children are never going to stop wanting attention because that’s the nature of being a child, right? you know the only way any social media/archive/anything online is enjoyable to you because it’s through a filter of moderators, right? you know an archive isn’t required to take in everything, right? if you want the site to be more usable to you, you cannot also advocate for it being the wild west when it comes to admins. can’t have your cake and eat it too.

the answer to almost every problem on AO3 is “hire more admins who are stricter” and yet. even the people who think you should be able to put anything you want on that site would benefit from an actual mod team. how curious.

[seungkwansphd]

contusion confusion

pairing: seungcheol x afab reader word count: 4K synopsis: your clumsy lab partner left a bruise on you. seungcheol seems disproportionately upset by it, but it makes way more sense once you understand why. themes: college au, best friend seungcheol, double sided repressed feelings, possessive and jealous seungcheol. warnings: smut, mentions of bruising/marking, mention of reader being smaller than seungcheol.

a/n: i started this literally one year ago and lost steam. and then blonde.fucking.scoups comes along and truly does a number on me. anyways, bon appetit, LOL

“What the hell happened to you?” Seungcheol’s eyes widened as you stretched your legs across his lap on the sofa.

“What?” you blinked at him, taking your eyes off of the television momentarily.

“What’s this bruise from?” he asked, resisting the strong urge to touch the bluish purple mark just above your elbow.

“Ah, that!” you shrugged, “I almost tripped the other day in lab. Mingyu grabbed me, but he might as well have let me fall! Who knew someone could bruise you just from grabbing you! Like how strong is that dude even?” you rolled your eyes. Grumbling, you returned your attention to the screen.

Seungcheol stewed next to you. While he had no real claim or reason to be upset at your lab partner, every time you brought him up, it made him want to strangle someone.

Mingyu was so tall that you had to readjust the titration burette between replicates. Mingyu was all sweaty because he had come to lab right after the gym. Mingyu didn’t cover his face while sneezing.

Seungcheol eagerly awaited next semester when he wouldn’t have to hear about this man anymore.

Swallowing, your eyes flitted nervously to your best friend’s hands, which were stroking your calves absentmindedly as he watched the show. While just a mindless gesture on his part, you were struggling silently with the way it made your insides turn just slightly into jelly.

“Cheol, that tickles!” you finally pulled your legs away, curling into a ball against the armrest of the sofa.

“Oh, sorry,” he smiled sheepishly at you, seeming distracted. It almost seemed like your friend was sulking, but you couldn’t understand why. You were watching a sitcom!

…

“There you are!”

You looked up to see your lab partner standing over your table, clutching the straps of his backpack.

“Oh, hey Mingyu,” you furrowed your brows at him, “Did you need something?”

“I thought we were supposed to be working on our lab report today?” he cocked his head at you, wondering if he had gotten the time wrong.

“Oh shit!” you cursed, “I’m so sorry Gyu, I totally lost track of time!”

“That’s okay,” he laughed, “It’s not that big of a deal. You want to work on it now?”

“Sure!” you nodded, glancing at Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who were immersed in their computer programming assignments. “Do you mind if Mingyu joins us? We have a lab report.”

“Yes, we heard,” Jeonghan rolls his eyes at you, “Sure that’s fine.”

“Thanks,” Mingyu nods before taking the seat next to you.

“Did you start anything for it yet?” you asked, pulling your lab notebook out of your backpack.

“Whoa, did I really grab you that hard that day?” Mingyu exclaimed, seeing the purple bruise on your arm.

“Yes, it fuckin’ hurts too!” you squinted at him, annoyed.

“I didn’t think you could bruise someone just by grabbing them. I guess I’m just super strong, huh?” Mingyu preened.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” you threatened to punch him.

Jeonghan observed Seungcheol’s shift in mood with mild interest as you and Mingyu muddled your way through your lab report.

“I need some coffee or I’m going to rip my eyeballs out,” you announced after calculating mole fractions for far too long. You stood from the table to move towards the cafe in the library. You tapped your fingertips on your wallet mindlessly as you calculated how many shots of espresso you could consume without your heart bursting out of your chest.

“YN!” a familiar voice greeted you as they tapped your shoulder.

“Ah, hey!” you smiled at Bina, your lab partner from last year. “Ugh, I’m working on a lab report and it is giving me flashbacks to last semester!”

“Oh my god, please don’t remind me!” she rolled her eyes. You two had barely managed to scrape through that class. Unlike you, it had been her only chem requirement, so she was free of the horror of lab reports now. “Who’s your lab partner this semester?”

“Mingyu Kim,” you scrunched up your nose slightly, “God bless him, but he is such a klutz.”

“Wait, no. Mingyu? The Kim Mingyu?” Bina paled slightly.

“Why? Do you know him? Is there tea?” you looked at her with wide eyes.

“No, god I wish. He’s just so hot to me! I’m jealous, I would slog through another semester of chem to be his lab partner.”

“Would you?!” you gaped at her, thoroughly alarmed. “You’re sick in the head over this man,” you laughed heartily.

“No, probably not,” Bina chuckled after giving it some more serious consideration. “But I’d think long and hard about it.”

“We’re sitting over there if you wanna stop by and say hi. I’ll introduce y’all,” you offered before placing your order with the cashier.

“I might do that,” she craned her head to see exactly where your table was. “You’re sitting with Seungcheol too? My friend is infatuated with that man. They’re in Comp Sci together. Can she come say hi too?”

“S-sure,” you answered blankly. You had no stake or claim, but something in you wanted to scream ‘NO!’ when you heard Bina ask that question.

“You’re the best, we’ll be over in a bit,” Bina smiled brightly at you, giving you a squeeze.

“Okay, I’m ready to resume crying,” you announced when you returned to the table with your beverage.

“Okay, good, cause I’m ready to take a break from crying,” Mingyu looked up at you pitifully. “I think I figured out 4. So then if we can figure out 5, then we just need to pull together some nonsense for the discussion.”

“Okay, okay,” you nodded determinedly. By some miracle, question 5 was just some simple dilution practice, so before long you and Mingyu were typing furiously, chipping away at the remainder of the lab report.

“Hey YN!” Bina’s voice pulled you out of a sentence about how (DUH) important it was to switch pipettes between samples.

“Oh, hey Bina! What’s up?” you waved excitedly at your friend, eager to do some meddling for her.

“Not much, how are you? Long time no see!”

“Yes, luckily you’re done with your chem requirements, otherwise you’d be here crying with us,” you laughed as Mingyu and Seungcheol looked on at you with interest. Jeonghan had long ago put on a pair of noise canceling headphones and was ignoring everybody. “Mingyu, Bina was my lab partner last semester. And she was a lot better than you are,” you couldn’t help but tease.

“Hey!” Mingyu pouted.

“I mean at the very least she’s my height, so I didn’t have to readjust the biuret every time we titrated,” you rolled your eyes playfully at Bina.

“It’s not my fault you’re both short,” Mingyu protested, eyes flickering to Bina for some support.

“If it makes you feel better, I was terrible in lab too,” she offered up sympathetically, “YN is my patron saint of chemistry. Did she ever tell you about how I exploded two crucibles one time?”

“No!” Mingyu looked at her with interest, “Was YN also very mean to you and made you finish your work way ahead of time?”

“Yes!” Bina giggled excitedly, “Like why can’t we pull all nighters like normal people?”

“Hell no, I’m not disrupting my sleep schedule for y’all. No thanks,” you shook your head stalwartly. “Anyways, you two should exchange numbers so you can complain about me on your own time,” you chuckled. Bina and Mingyu seemed to agree and set about that task enthusiastically.

“Ah, sorry I’m being rude, this is my friend Hayoung! We’re in a writing foundations class together so we were working on that.”

“Hi,” she waved at everyone shyly.

“Hayoung, what’s your major?” you asked.

“Computer science, focusing on human & computer interactions.”

“Ooh?! Love me a girly in STEM! These two are comp sci as well! Do you all know each other?” you asked, mostly Seungcheol as Jeonghan was still intent on ignoring you.

“Maybe? You look kind of familiar, but I don’t talk to many people in class,” he chuckled honestly.

“I think we might have a class together?” Hayoung smiled.

“Oh wonderful! You two should exchange numbers too! Maybe you can work on comp sci stuff together,” you suggested. They weren’t really giving you too much to work with, if you were being honest.

“I’d actually love that,” Hayoung’s eyes creased into a smile, “I don’t know that many people in the major.”

“Is it because they’re being sexist?” your eyes widened and you raised a fist theatrically, “I’ll fight them all for you. Cheol, you will too, right? Jeonghan’s not much use in a fight, if I’m being honest,” you commented quietly, glancing at the target of your teasing.

“Sure,” Seungcheol’s face creased into a real smile as he watched you whisper about Jeonghan animatedly.

Hayoung and Seungcheol exchanged phone numbers as you watched on excitedly. Hayoung was clearly pleased, but Seungcheol was making a face as if he had tasted something odd, but was too polite to say anything about it.

“Bina is so cute!” Mingyu remarked happily after they both left, “Lucky you with your cute lab partners!”

“Yeah,” you rolled your eyes at him, “I love doing unpaid babysitting in the lab.”

…

“Cheol, can I crash on your couch?” you spoke after he picked up your call.

“Yeah, of course! Are you okay?” Seungcheol’s brow furrowed, worried.

“Yeah, I’ve just been sexiled,” you grumbled, starting your walk towards Seungcheol’s apartment. He met you about halfway and the two of you caught up on the walk back.

“How are things with Hayoung?” you asked, not quite making eye contact.

“What?” his hand slipped as he was moving to turn the doorknob.

“Hayoung, did you guys ever meet up to work on comp sci together?” you asked, lips pursed as you followed him into his apartment.

“Oh, no, she texted me but I forgot to text her back,” Seungcheol shrugged.

“Text her back, you jerk!” you poked Seungcheol insistently, “Hayoung’s cute! And she likes you.”

“That’s good for her,” Seungcheol grumbled, irritated at your attempt to push him towards someone else. Maybe his cause was truly hopeless.

“You’re acting weird,” you glanced at him oddly before flopping down on the couch.

“No, you take the bed,” Seungcheol ignored your statement and plopped down near your feet, tapping your legs lightly.

“No! I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed!” you protested.

“No, seriously, sleep on the bed. I always wake up before you anyways. I’ll end up waking you up if you sleep out here.”

“I-,” you tried to think of another excuse, but he wasn’t your best friend for no reason. He knew you just as well as you knew yourself. “Okay,” you acquiesced, hopping up from the couch to walk into his room, “Do you need anything from here before bed?” you turned to ask him, hand on the doorframe.

“Nope, I don’t think so.”

“Okay, thanks again for letting me crash,” you smiled at him before pulling the door not quite closed behind you.

Once inside, you dropped your bag and helped yourself to a t-shirt and pair of shorts from Seungcheol’s drawers. You laughed at the way you were swimming in the shirt.

“I look ridiculous,” you laughed, walking back out into the living room. “Cheol, look,” you spread your arms out to your sides, showing Seungcheol the way that his t-shirt just swallowed you.

“I-,” his brain stopped for a few moments. He wouldn’t say anything, but he could in fact see your nipples as you tried to show him whatever you were showing him. “What?”

“Your shirt is too big on me,” you folded your arms over your chest, irritated that he had been listening.

“Oh yeah, well I’m bigger than you,” he replied curtly.

“Well, yeah,” you glanced away from him. He was in such an odd mood today! You grumbled just a little bit before flopping down on the bed. You were tired.

Tossing and turning, you fought for a long time to push down the arousal that was building in your gut. Being enveloped by Seungcheol’s scent was making your brain go haywire. You could feel yourself throbbing and you bit down on your fist in an effort to try and distract yourself, but that hadn’t worked. Glancing nervously at the door, you contemplated seeking some relief, but the idea of doing it in Seungcheol’s bed while he was just outside the door inspired guilt, worry, and worst of all, excitement. 

You managed to ignore yourself for about ten minutes before your left hand snuck down between your thighs, stroking them softly. Sinking deeper into Seungcheol’s pillows, you closed your eyes and imagined your best friend’s hands softly caressing and spreading your legs apart. You were embarrassed to hear the wet sounds of yourself opening up, but not embarrassed enough to stop. Your right hand came to tease the sensitive undersides of your breasts as your fingertips stroked languidly through your folds.

In the living room, Cheol wrestled with whether to disturb you or not. Several minutes ago, he had noticed that one of his textbooks was still in his room. He’d been planning to get ahead on a problem set, so it wasn’t as if he needed to disturb you, but he also didn’t see himself falling asleep anytime soon. Chewing his lip, he noticed that the door was still slightly ajar and decided to retrieve the book as you must not have gone to bed just yet.

When his eyes first landed on your face, your brows were knit up in utter concentration as your hands worked feverishly under the covers. Your front teeth had your lower lip pinned down as you bit back the loudest of your desperate noises. Seungcheol’s pupils dilated as he registered what was happening. Frantically, he tried to back out of the room, but his sweater caught the edge of a pamphlet that had been hanging off the bookshelf, sending a handful of items clattering to the floor.

“Fuck!” your eyes shot open, panicked as you met Cheol’s gaze, “I’m, you-, help!” you squeaked, pulling the covers over your face as you wished to vanish off the face of the earth.

Seungcheol’s mind went blank as he walked towards you, placing his hands over yours to pull down the covers. You peered up at him through your eyelashes, so overcome with embarrassment that you failed to register the look of hunger in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry Cheol, I didn’t, I shouldn’t have done that here!”

“What?” he cocked his head to the side, brain not really functioning.

“It’s your bed!” you looked at him as if he was crazy, “I just-, you smell so good,” you spoke without thinking.

“I…,” he looked you up and down, “You’re telling me I inspired this?”

“Shit, I shouldn’t have said that, oh my god!” you groaned, trying to shrug under the covers again. Seungcheol’s large hands held you still and you watched in disbelief as he brought your left hand up to inspect it. The shine of moisture on your fingers was mortifyingly telling, but he surprised you to your core when he brought your hand to his mouth and sucked your wet fingers inside.

“Huh?!” you choked out, eyes fluttering shut as he tongue stroked between your digits, tasting you thoroughly.

“You should’ve told me about this sooner,” he told you, voice gravely with desire, “I’ve been torturing myself trying to ignore how much I think about you.”

“Oh?” you blinked at him in disbelief.

“Yes, oh,”  Seungcheol rolled his eyes at you, “Now let me help, as you requested.”

His fingers wandered. His eyes widened slightly when he felt just how wet you were. The rumble that emitted from his chest almost sounded like a purr and you found yourself quickly breathless at his ministrations.

“Cheol,” you moaned, melting slightly as his substantially larger fingers swirled dizzyingly through your folds. He smirked down at you, more than pleased to hear your saying his name in that manner.

“So needy,” he chuckled, eyes flicking over you.

“Well I was halfway there when you walked in,” you teased him and his eyes flashed at you, a subtle warning.

He raised one eyebrow at you before sliding his fingers inside of you. You choked on your breath at the intrusion, though your legs parted asking for more.

“You-, your fingers!”

“Mm, how do they feel?” he smirked at you, confident.

“I knew they’d stretch me out, bigger than mine,” you panted and his eyes widened at the realization that this wasn’t the first time you’d imagined this.

“You think about me a lot?” he raised an eyebrow at you, now cocky.

“No,” you lied, glancing away to avoid his eyes.

“My thick fingers spreading you open,” he continued anyways, smirking when he felt the way you reacted around him.

“Seung-,” you whined, overwhelmed at the way he teased you.

“God I like hearing you say my name like that,” Seungcheol shook his head, as if in disbelief. “Can I see you?” he asked, other hand itching to peel back the comforter.

You nodded wordlessly. You were slightly mortified to reveal yourself to him in this way, but his other hand quickly distracted you. You watched his eyes rove across you appreciatively until they trained in on your bruise, his jaw clenching.

“I’ve been thinking about this all week,” he exhaled sharply.

“Why? It wasn’t on purpose!”

“No, it’s not-,” Seungcheol paused. “That’s not why. I was annoyed because the idea of getting to be the one to leave marks on you has rendered me…basically unable to produce coherent thought.”

“Oh? OH,” your eyes widened, gears in your brain turning. “I mean…all yours, Cheol,” you smiled sheepishly at him.

“Really?” he groaned, looking at you appreciatively as he thought about exactly where and how he’d like to mar your skin.

“Seungcheol!” you snapped at him as he continued to mumble to himself.

“Maybe a handprint here?” he grazed your upper thigh with his palm, eyes dancing mischievously at you. “Or a necklace of hickeys,” he growled as he nipped at the base of your neck. He had decided to seize the opportunity to tease you, and as much as you liked it, you only had so much patience.

“Cheol, please,” you pouted, grabbing at his collar, “I can’t take anymore of this.”

“Yes princess,” he pulled an old nickname out of the vault. You melted.

“Mmmpf!” he smothered your next protest with a kiss.

“Seung. Cheol!” you moaned desperately as his hand grabbed your thigh, hard.

The strength in his grip set your nerves alight and your head fell back against the bed, arching your chest up towards him. His mouth took the opportunity to latch onto the underside of your breast, biting down firmly. Your hand fisted itself in his hair.

It was so much sensation. It was so good.

“Hn,” he pulled back with a breathless smile. His eyes flicked down to the spots where his mouth and hand had been and his lips curled into a cocky grin at the bright red marks. With any luck those would be bruised nicely tomorrow.

“That was…a lot,” you murmured as you caught your breath.

“In a bad way?” Seungcheol’s brow furrowed with sudden worry.

“No,” you smiled at him, slightly fuzzy, “In a good way. A really good way.”

“Really?” his eyebrows raised back up with delight. “So you won’t mind if you bruise a little?”

“I don’t think I’ll mind even if you bruise me a lot,” you answered after some thought.

Your best friend’s eyes darkened. The way you had rearranged his words hit the possessive button in his brain like crazy. His lips nibbled and nipped their way down your torso while his hand came to cup your breast. His grip was on the hard side of firm as his lips latched onto a spot on your inner thigh. His tongue stroked across the sensitive skin as he sucked firmly.

Your thighs parted of their own accord as you squirmed at this building onslaught. As you shifted, you could hear the wet sounds of yourself spreading. Open and inviting.

“Cheol, please,” you tried to pull him towards you. “Please,” you panted.

Seungcheol, the bastard, increased the intensity of his sucking before releasing his lips with a loud ‘pop!’. The jolt of the disconnection sent a shiver through you and the spot where his mouth had been now felt woefully cool.

“Pretty,” he looked at the red mark appreciatively. The thought that you would be reminded of this encounter over the next weeks sent a streak of pride through him that was unexpected.

“Seungcheol!” you grabbed his face by his cheeks, directing his attention to you. “If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to kick you out and take care of it myself!”

His eyes widened and he chuckled sheepishly before reaching over you to pull a condom out of the nightstand. You watched, almost painfully aroused, as he undressed and unrolled the condom over himself. His cock bobbed proudly as he pulled his sturdy torso over you, slotting himself between your thighs.

You sighed when his cock came to rest against your core. You could already tell it was going to be good.

“Seungcheol, please,” you placed your hands around his jaw. “Need you.”

He nodded, reaching down to slip himself inside of you. A soft gasp escaped you as his head pushed in and you couldn’t help but relish in the stretch. Seungcheol took his time sinking into you. The whines and gasps that you made were way too good to be rushed.

“Cheol,” your hands clutched at the back of his thick neck until he was pressed flush against you. “Fuck,” you exhaled into his ear.

Seungcheol’s hand was gripping your hip so hard as he struggled to keep control of himself. Of all the things that he found overwhelming, the way you pulsed and squeezed around him, the little sounds you made as he had pressed into you…the worst of all was the way you smelled. His hand fisted itself further in your hip as he inhaled you, a most intoxicating scent.

You clenched around him as his hand tightened. He was sure to bruise you there, too, and you couldn’t wait. Knowing that you’d be able to see these marks as evidence that this wasn’t another crush induced dream made you feel crazed in a different way.

“You feel perfect,” Seungcheol groaned against your skin as his hips started to move. “I just knew it.”

Clench.

You hooked your legs around his hips as he pumped into you deeply. Each thick stroke pushed you dangerously closer to the precipice and you were ready to fall off the edge.

“Cheol,” you pulled back slightly to meet his blown out gaze. “I’m there.”

“Go ahead,” he encouraged you, aching to feel you come apart around him. “Be good and come for me.”

Your eyes squeezed shut as you let go. Your hands clutched desperately at his shoulders as your pussy fluttered around him. You didn’t even know what kinds of sounds you made as you simply didn’t have the presence of mind.

“So good,” he smiled, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against yours. “So good,” he grunted before his hips shuddered and he emptied himself inside of you.

You wrapped your arms around his torso as he slumped down on top of you. He smiled when you gave him a squeeze with your entire body.

“So you’re kind of possessive, huh?” you chuckled softly after you’d regained your sanity.

Seungcheol squeezed his eyes shut with a laugh. He hadn’t realized it, or maybe it was just because it was you, but yes. Yes he was.

[peachhcs]

steal my girl | the wonder years

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

a requested fic about some of will’s dev program friends flirting with samy before they got together

3k words

hahaa i kind of got carried away with this, but i enjoyed writing it. i made zeev and will lowkey enemies, but i promise they’re not. will’s just super jealous and it shows :)

au masterlist

will's eyes glued themselves to samy's back where she stood out in the open arena talking with zeev, cole, and teddy. she'd just gotten in a few minutes ago with a hoard of treats for the guys from her mom who made way too many extras meant for samy's senior banquet a few nights ago. zeev seemingly came out of the locker room at the right time to help her set them up on one of the back tables and then he just got her talking when everyone else came out to get something to eat.

the blonde was out on the ice doing a few warm up drill with ryan and gabe, promising to be done soon when he waved to samy, but now he could not pull his gaze away from the three guys talking her up by the bleachers.

they were all laughing about something because they were bent over and hanging off one another with red faces. will was too far away to catch the conversation, but his face twisted even more when he saw zeev's hand lingering on samy's arm.

"dude, you're being so obvious," ryan muttered as he skated by his friend, finally catching his attention and breaking him from his harsh glare.

will spun around, his two friends looking at him with a look that said "stop being so jealous." his expression crinkled up, "i'm not being obvious."

"i can literally tell how jealous you are right now," gabe rolled his eyes a bit while the blonde just shook his head.

"i'm not jealous."

"then why are you staring at them like you wanna punch them, huh?" ryan knew he got will with that one because his face burned in embarrassment.

"i'm not. i just..i'm not jealous," the forward tried skating away from them, but they only followed after him with their pucks.

"they're not gonna steal your girl, don't worry," gabe laughed lightly, but will didn't find it amusing. not even in the slightest as he looked back over at the four still immersed in a conversation.

"yeah then why does zeev and all of them talk her up like that? i mean they know they're flirting with her," will made his case.

"i don't know. maybe they're trying to get a rise out of you so you finally like admit your feelings," ryan poked his friend's chest in a way that said they've been bothering him about this since they confirmed will liked samy.

"well that's stupid."

"because it's working?" gabe smirked.

"look, i just don't like how they know i like her yet they flirt with her in front of me because she flirts back with them," will rolled his eyes a bit, but he couldn't really be mad because samy has always had a flirty personality. it was just who she was, so she wasn't intentionally trying to indulge in all of the guys' behavior.

"well maybe you should be the one over there flirting with her instead of getting mad that zeev and all them are doing it," gabe pushed his friend towards the door of the rink.

will glided across the ice until he landed against the boards. he glared back at ryan and gabe who gave him little thumbs up and when he turned back around, samy appeared. the boy flushed at her sudden close proximity, noticing zeev, teddy, and cole wander away for now meaning he got her all to himself for a few minutes.

"hi," she smiled, leaning herself against the small wooden board separating them from the ice and the floor so she was even closer.

"hey," will returned her smile, pulling his helmet off for the moment.

"how's warmups?" samy reached her hand up to fix some of his misplaced curls making the poor blonde blush an embarrassing red all over his face, but he hoped she would just think it's from the cold.

"fine. we were just trying to get some more time in before actual warmups started. i see your mom brought a lot of food," will laughed, watching the others grab from the trays still.

samy pulled her hand away, tucking it into the warmth of her coat pockets, "oh my god, she went crazy. she made way too much for the banquet. she'll be glad it's getting eaten."

"yeah, we'll eat it, don't worry. how was the banquet?" will leaned further over the wall so him and samy were inches away from each other. he couldn't tell if she was blushing or not, but either way their closeness had butterflies in both of their stomachs.

"it was good. your card was cute and so were your parents there," colleen and bill showed up to the hughes' kids events as much as ellen and jim did for will and grace. since they were only thirty minutes away, the drive was made quite frequently.

"sorry i couldn't be there. i wish i was," will frowned a bit, but samy shook her head.

"don't worry, i knew you were there in spirit. how are you feeling about the game tonight?" she finally sat down on the little ledge where will lifted his legs over so he could sit down next to her.

"good, i think. i'm kind of nervous to play against luke though," it was the game where the usntdp got to try their hand at playing against a college team and the michigan boys came up to play in the arena.

"why? don't be. you know how he plays," samy nudged the boy's arm, making him flush as he stared at the ground.

"i know, but all the other guys are like..kind of good. they're gonna destroy us probably," the two shared a small laugh.

"if anything it will be good experience. i know luke's looking forward to playing against you anyway," that made will smile. he hadn't seen much of the older hughes because of how busy both of them had been with hockey, so he was glad he got to see him even if it was against one another.

the two kept talking for a bit longer while will's gaze occasionally bounced over to zeev and the others at the food table. sometimes they'd meet gazes and there was something unreadable in zeev's expression. either way, the blonde tried forgetting it and focusing his attention on the girl beside him talking about how her week at school went.

will prided himself in the fact that he got to hear all the mundane details about samy's life and all of these other guys (except his closer friends) didn't. plus, zeev wasn't the one having drunk make outs with her. even if they didn't remember it or even talked about it the next day, will was still the one samy went to when she was a bit too drunk and started kissing in a bathroom.

"will, you need to get one of the cookies. they're amazing," teddy came back over with a cookie in his hand.

"i know, i've had them before," the blonde laughed at the younger brunette.

"your mom makes such great food," teddy nudged samy's arm and the girl smiled.

"i'll make sure to tell her that because i'm sure she'll be happy to cook for you guys again," the girl chuckled.

"please do. i could eat a hundred of these."

"but don't actually because you'll probably kill yourself before the game," zeev reappeared with cole and carter in tow.

"i know, i know," teddy rolled his eyes a bit.

"oh! how was your game last week?" carter wondered with a mouthful of cracker. since all of the guys were fairly close to girl, they always had a million questions to ask about her games whenever she wasn't at their games because of her own.

"oh, it was good. we won 6-0," samy smiled.

"shit, 6-0? that's crazy. you guys must've dug them to the ground," zeev laughed a little.

"yeah, we kind of did. they were also a shitty team," the youngest hughes shrugged a bit.

"okay, but still. i bet you scored most of those points?" his hands poked into samy's shoulders again where will once again found himself clenching his jaw at the way zeev always found the need to touch her when he spoke.

"i mean..i don't wanna..toot my own horn or anything but i did score half of them," she shrugged like it wasn't a huge deal.

"hey, up top. you should always be bragging about that," the darker-haired boy raised his hand for a high-five. samy quickly reciprocated which led to the rest of the guys holding their hands up for a high five.

will went last, putting on his best smile so no one could see his jealousy sinking back into his system.

"when you're really cool and famous one day playing on the women's national soccer team, remember us," teddy said making the others laugh.

"oh, don't worry, i will. i wouldn't forget you guys," she ruffled up his hair.

"obviously not. we've got pretty memorable faces," zeev flashed one of those smiles he only gave to girls he flirted in the stands with.

"right. you're actually in my dreams every night," samy said and that was finally will's tipping point.

he knew samy didn't mean that literally, but he hated the way zeev's face reddened into a blush at her words and the smile on her face when she said it.

"i gotta go get ready. i'll see you," will mumbled, pushing off the wall towards the locker room. he didn't even look at anyone as he walked away, the anger and jealousy becoming too much and he didn't wanna snap at anyone as much as he really, really wanted to.

samy stared at her friend's retreating figure. she knew something was off as soon as the others wandered over to them, but she couldn't put her finger on it. she just let it go for now knowing she'd talk with him later and returned her focus to the conversation with the three guys in front of her, her smile quickly returning.

—

the umich boys arrived an hour later along with samy's parents. she hung down by the ice behind luke who laced his skates up on the bench while her eyes occasionally flicked up to will who was now dressed in his uniform and hitting some of his pucks a little too hard into the net.

"okay, you're staring really hard," luke mumbled as he stood back up, eyes now on his sister.

"at what?" she played dumb.

"oh come on, i'm not stupid, samy," the brunette rolled his eyes that his sister thought he wouldn't know.

"i think he's just nervous to play against you and the guys," samy said with her eyes back on will.

"why? he knows how i play. he could beat me if he really tried," the middle hughes chuckled

"i dunno. just don't go too hard on him," she looked at luke a bit seriously. he rolled his eyes again.

"i'll go as hard as i want to on him. he can take it," luke shoved samy back gently before he swung his legs over and got onto the ice to warm up.

samy watched as him and will exchanged a quick bro hug and hello. they spoke to one another for a second before luke went over to his teammates for warmups. her eyes wandered back over to will where she gave him a quick thumbs up after meeting his gaze.

he managed a smile in her direction, some of his anger dissipating within the last hour, except it really didn't last long when he saw zeev skate by. he smiled at the brunette too and it was incredible that will hadn't actually punched him yet.

"maybe this anger will be good for the game," ryan said, skating up to will.

"yeah, right," the blonde mumbled as he went back to what he was doing.

the game was a tough one between the u18s and the umich boys. samy didn't know who to cheer for so she just ended up cheering for both of them. despite luke being two years ahead of will, the two went neck and neck trying to score on each other. it was a good thing they practiced together a lot during the summer because will knew a lot of luke's tricks and vice versa.

samy enjoyed watching her brother and best friend play one another. even though they probably wouldn't ever play on the same team together, she was glad they could at least play one another.

whenever will scored, samy was on her feet. that made will feel a little better about himself because he was seriously wondering if zeev was his competition because at least she didn't do that when he scored.

the game ended in a quick 3-2. the u18s were close, but michigan quickly showed who had the upper hand and the experience. while waiting for the guys to shower and talk with their coach, samy helped her mom clean up the food.

"i'm glad this was a success," ellen determined.

"yeah, they loved it. i told them you would do it again," samy giggled a little.

"you could feed anything to those boys and they'd eat it all," colleen laughed as well.

gabe and ryan came out first. they put their things down to say hey to the brunette since they hadn't properly talked to her yet since she got there.

"hey hughesy, it's good to see you," ryan smiled after he let go of their hug.

"it's good to see you guys too. you played good," she beamed at each of them.

"thanks. it was fun playing your brother," gabe chuckled.

"i'll tell him that. he said he wasn't going that easy on you all tonight."

will trailed out of the locker room a moment later. he quickly joined their little group, putting on another smile despite the exhaustion in his features.

"hey, you played good," samy pinched his cheek from where he stood beside her.

"thanks. i sort of had luke figured out," he chuckled, flushing at samy's hands on his face.

the four stood there taking with one another for a moment until the others began pouring out of the room. they greeted their parents in quick hellos while zeev inserted himself into the group.

"hey, good game, right?" he asked samy who quickly nodded.

"awesome game. you were quick," she grinned.

will glanced over at ryan and gabe who read his look and slowly started seeing how much zeev flirted with her.

"honestly, you might be the good luck charm," the darker-haired boy chuckled while samy flushed.

"aw, that's sweet of you to say. maybe i am," she beamed some more at his words all while will could only stand there because if he started an argument, it'd escalate real fast.

"there's gonna be a small get together next weekend if you wanna come up. it'd be cool to see you," zeev continued. he was talking about the so-called party some of the other guys were throwing to sort of commemorate the end of the dev program since that was also rapidly approaching.

"yeah, i'd love to. i think i'm free," the brunette agreed to it.

will really couldn't take it anymore so he just walked away without saying anything. gabe quickly followed while ryan stayed back so it wouldn't look as suspicious and they walked until they were out of earshot and sight.

"see how he flirts with her? it's so irritating," will rolled his eyes.

"yeah, i get it now. you know she doesn't actually like him," gabe tried.

"i don't know about that," the blonde mumbled, suddenly worrying that samy did like zeev or something.

"she doesn't. i promise. we'd know if she does. she's just being nice," the darker-haired boy tried reassuring his friend.

"i just hate how he treats her like some actual puck bunny, but she's not. i really can't tell if he's being serious sometimes," the blonde huffed out.

"even if he is, it's all the more reason you need to tell her how you're feeling so she stops indulging in it because she's gonna catch on sooner than later," gabe made his point and sometimes it also irritated will how right he was.

"whatever," the blonde mumbled, ready to walk back to where they were when samy appeared without ryan or zeev.

"there you guys are. you ready to go, will? i think our parents are hungry. i know luke is at least," she chuckled.

"yeah, i'm ready. i'll see you later," they said goodbye to gabe before heading out of the arena to samy's car.

like always, will threw his stuff in and climbed into the passenger seat. it seemed to be their little thing after his games where she'd drive up by herself, will would ride with her to wherever their families decided to eat, and then sometimes she'd go back to his place or will would drive down with her to her place.

at least zeev didn't have this privilege.

"are you doing okay? you've been off," samy finally wondered as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"yeah, i'm fine. long day," will lied a bit because why would he tell samy he's jealous of his own teammate?

"yeah, i bet. you played well, though, i meant it earlier," she smiled his way and it made all of will's problems disappear seeing that smile directed at him.

"thank you. i appreciate it. i'm just excited to get some food in me," the boy beamed, his sour mood slowly fading away the more time he spent alone with the girl.

by the end of the night, zeev was the least of his worries. especially when will went back to samy's place for the night and she curled up next to him on the couch as they watched their favorite movie and ate mint rocky road together.

[ultimate-marysue]

Jason's Civilian Identity Headcanons ranked according to me, myself and I:

Reveals his identity to fuck with the rest of the Batfam: I could see it for his villain era, and honestly it's the worst thing he could do to Batman, but I just don't see it. He still wants to help people and eliminating all Gotham vigilantes goes against that. 1.5/10

Rejoins the Waynes: It's not so much that I don't think it can happen, just that it would be very hard to justify. You can explain it away, but it would call a lot of attention to him and I don't think he wants that. Still good for fluff fics and it can be a fun concept 5/10

Psychologists/psychiatrist: the idea of any bat deciding to actually help the people at Arkham get the therapy they need is Wonderful, I just don't think Jason would be the best option for it. His whole thing is that some people aren't worth redeeming/don't want to be redeemed and need to be permanently taken out to avoid the death of innocents. I would love to see psychologist Jason, but much like the above I don't think it fits him. 5.5/10

Theatre actor: listen, this one's just silly. Got nothing to add, it's silly and I love it as a concept. Personally, outside of everything else, I think Jason would get stage fright, but in theory I love this. 6.5/10

Remains legally dead just for funsies: honestly, Jason weaponizing being dead to get out of doing shit is comedy gold. It's not the most elaborate, but it's a staple for a reason 7/10

EMT/firefighter: listen, is it sustainable to be a first responder and also a vigilante? Probably not, that's why I see this option more for Dick/Cass...but the flavor is so good. Sometimes a headcanon is just: he'd look good while doing it. 8/10

School counselor: I just think that Jason taking the "heal your inner child" thing too literally is both funny and fitting. Anytime he suspects there's something wrong going on, he investigates the families as the Red Hood. The principal doesn't know how he does it, but respects the shit out of him. 8.5/10

Librarian: now we're getting into the excellent stuff. He could use the money he steals to open a super aesthetic bookshop with a program for kids from low-income houses. Personally I see him more like a public library clerk giving recommendations and extremely knowledgeable in all the programs the library offers for free. 9/10

Mechanic: this one just fits so well. He has the knowledge already, he enjoys it, and it would be really easy to get into. It's giving working class hero, it's giving return to your roots but in your own terms. All his older colleagues are baffled at how he knows so much stuff about so many different models and vehicles. Plus, I do headcanon Jason as either gay or trans or both and I find very funny the idea of this group of traditional macho guys becoming the world's strongest allies. 9.5/10

English teacher: perfection. Jason goes back to college, gets his degree and starts teaching at Gotham's public school. I just know he would be so good with the kids, getting them interested in learning and going the extra mile for them. To me this option is for a Jason that's been doing some healing, a Jason that believes he deserves to have a normal life. He could also teach at college and be a meme amongst students. I think it would help him a lot to have a gaggle of teens treating him like he's this endearing but utterly boring teacher. Realizing you're not a violent monster but that, in fact, everyone sees you as just some guy. 10/10

Bonus occupation: PTA Dad Jason. Give me over involved dad Jason fighting with Deborah because "no, actually it may be your kid's fault". Both parents and teachers simultaneously love and fear him because he's invested in his kid's education and that means he wants what's best for them. He will shut down coddling parents and he will harshly criticize shitty teachers. He has a way to make things happen for the school and everyone is half convinced he's in the mafia for it. Just, domestic good dad Jason. +10000

[egg-emperor]

I saw this toss in about the whole "Eggdad" thing: Even if Eggman never lays a hand on Sage; that doesn't necessarily mean this stops for the rest of his creations. And Sage has to bear witness to that. (A parent showing blatant favoritism towards certain kids isn't wholesome by any means and hardly ever leads to anything good for every kid involved; including the ones that sucks up all the attention. It's silly to think that this wouldn't affect Sage in some way. Gamma wasn't an AI, and yet the actions Eggman had him do [and Amy's words] had him think twice. Omega was tossed away, and now seeks revenge. Even Metal Sonic rebelled, which ultimately resulted in him being reset. *With Sonic's influence changing how she calculated outcomes, what's stopping her from having her "canon event" later?)

*Note: This doesn't really mean yet another rebellion from an Eggman invention. (In anything, I'm more intrigued about the opposite happening. Like Sage struggling with perfectionism to NOT wind up like previous creations did. Constant approval seeking.)

Yeah exactly. I think a lot of the people who didn't wanna hear me out were missing the point of my analysis, hc, and fic about this. They were acting like I'm predicting that Eggman will be depicted smacking Sage around or something but I don't think he will because well- he literally can't. At least I don't think so because Sage is an AI program and his hands should just phase right through her if he were to try anyway.

Instead I was actually highlighting how terribly he treats all his other creations of Metal Sonic, the E Series, and Orbot and Cubot and how he's even manipulated those who were created/worked on by his grandfather with Emerl and Shadow. It'd make a lot of sense if he manipulated Sage in various ways and one way can actually be through treating her better than his other creations that he still treats terribly.

It's highly likely for him to at least be manipulative towards her, in fact he pretty much is in the Frontiers' story. Because he'll yell at her one moment when she doesn't do exactly what he wants but highly praises her the next when she does. He'll raise his voice and thump things that he can hit when he's angry at her, just as he does his other creations. Only difference is that he can't actually hit her like them.

But hitting them physically isn't the only way he can be a bad father and show concerning traits that support that. It's all throughout Frontiers for the above, which is present in multiple cutscenes. And also the way his value of Sage is solely rooted in what she can do for him and how great and impressive of a genius she makes him look as her creator in the first place, as he makes very clear in the memos.

That's already a lot of pressure put on Sage. She's expected to meet these expectations in loyalty and efficiency that Eggman brags about in the memos, otherwise she isn't reflective of his genius and doesn't bring him the selfish gain he desires, which will lose what gives her value and use to him in his own words! And not just that, but also the point you've raised about how he treats his other creations.

I've seen a lot of people acting like the way Eggman treated his other creations suddenly doesn't matter or just ignore it. But let's not pretend that Eggman isn't awfully cruel to Orbot and Cubot all the time in the games, which I explored in depth in my "proof that Eggman is a bad father" video. He has been verbally and physically abusive towards them and there's no other word for it or any excuses to make against it.

That isn't suddenly erased just because he sees more value in Sage (for very selfish conceited self serving reasons at that) and half-heartedly entertains the idea of Orbot and Cubot being like her brothers. It actually makes it worse that he's willing to see them that way with the way he treats them. It just means he's canonically both verbally and physically abusive to "kids" of his already, regardless of if he is to Sage.

I've seen it depicted in cutesy funny ways to have Eggman treat Sage better in front of the others, but the blatant favoritism of some creations over others, that's based on who is the most impressive and useful to him at the time, would have harmful effects on all involved in reality. Sage has to keep living up to that and he can use her as an example to get the others to fight harder for the same praise.

The Murder of Sonic had Eggman do this intentionally by having them compete against to serve him well to impress him and get praise and "rewards" and I really like that. He programs them with feelings just to take advantage of them like that and that's just so Eggman. I can see him doing more of the exact same thing in the main games with how their worth is determined by their use there too.

Sage, Metal Sonic, and Orbot and Cubot would all be affected badly by this when they realize Eggman's affection and praise is conditional, shallow, and manipulative in these ways. When they realize that it's really all determined by what is the most beneficial to him personally, while buttering them up to keep them loyal and efficient, set an example and act as a measuring stick to the others but tosses them if they fail.

And Gamma was also a victim of this as a top example of what shows how harmful it is when Eggman picks a favorite! Eggman praised Gamma highly and said he was proud of him in the exact same way he did to Sage and say that he knew he'd be of use (again proving that their value is determined by their use to him), to butter him up and keep him performing well- even though he clearly had doubts in him prior.

It was very manipulative of Eggman to that just like it appears to me with Sage too. It's even similar to TMoS in a way, with how he pit Gamma against Beta in a fight and all the E Series had to search for Froggy and he punished the failures cruelly by breaking them down, disassembling them and putting them back together, which disturbed Gamma so much that he was willing to kill his brothers to set them all free.

And Omega was shut away by Eggman and he hated being sealed in that room, not even the important duty of guarding the real Shadow and ensuring that he didn't escape was enough to feel valued and be happy. Just because he can be useful to him, it doesn't change that Eggman is still cruel and uncaring and will lock him away and not care if he wants it or not. His value and praise is a performance and only for his gain.

And Metal Sonic is also another of the top examples of what it's like to be treated badly by Eggman to the point that he tries to rebel twice but not be so lucky to escape like the E Series and Omega because he's trapped being reprogrammed again and again and kept under his control to ensure that he's not going anywhere. No matter how useful a creation is to him at one point or another, they all suffer in some way.

There are many ways Eggman could be cruel or harmful to Sage. I think he's already shown signs of how and used some tactics on her in Frontiers, going by his track record and the known intentions and reasons behind it confirmed by Ian Flynn. Maybe they'll decide to expand on it blatantly, maybe they won't. But I think it's there subtly already and those conditions are very accurate to his character.

Then you have the extras of Eggman calling Sage "ugly/unseemly" before he gave her shoes in the Sonic Channel art (what was seen as a sweet cute gift by fans still had him being a jerk in it like lol wtf Eggman) and in Murder of Sonic, he's still yelling at Orbot in front of her, so she has witnessed Eggman still very much being terrible to his other creations/her brothers and in front of her in official media already!

And yeah I don't see Sage betraying Eggman with the stuff she witnessed both from how he treats her and Sonic and co and how she still stuck by his side and stayed genuinely loyal and willing to protect and serve. Even after all that and how she also revealed that she doubted he even cared about her, as she asked Sonic if he thinks Eggman does (to which Sonic could only mutter "sure... in his own way" lol)

Eggman doesn't even have to give her much to keep her loyal and efficient as it's what he created her to do and it was a success, she's devoted and willing regardless of how he treats her. She was like that even before he gave her an ounce of praise and even after he yelled at her. But the manipulation of her emotions by buttering her up with that praise, albeit conditional, helps further ensure it will stay that way.

And when his other creations see the praise and approval Sage gets, they'll wish they could get that too and will work harder to try to please him, which is exactly what he wants. But he has and continues to treat his other creations terribly even in front of her when they don't, which puts even more pressure on her having to continue living up to that standard to keep him pleased and avoid ending up like them.

So yeah, regardless of how Eggman treats Sage on the surface, there's always those dark undertones, the bad signs that have shown in their interactions, and the toxic basis of their dynamic on Eggman's side as officially confirmed. It's supposed to be unsettling as Flynn said for a reason. And he still treats his other creations blatantly terribly in front of her which also isn't pleasant and can have harmful effects.

They're not the picture perfect family that people find cute and ideal and that's actually the point. And it will definitely be interesting to see how Sage remains loyal and devoted but will have to deal with her father doing things like this to her brothers and what she thinks and he feels about it. It will probably be like how she took a liking to Sonic and co but Eggman just wants them dead but still she stayed by him despite that.

[sweatertheman]

oh boy more ralsei thoughts, hope you like those

i see some stuff with ralsei being used for horror sometimes. i kind of get it, because ralsei IS very much unstable, but i do take issues with the execution.

one form of ralsei horror is the idea of him being "yandere." this doesn't work for me. while yes, ralsei is desperate for the love and attention of lightners (kris in particular) he thinks of himself as beneath. he is weak, his life holds no significance outside of serving a higher power, he possesses no free will, stuff like that. the idea of forcing someone to stay with him against their will, and abusing them into loving him, is something he just wouldn't do, let alone could do. while ralsei doesnt enjoy being left alone or mistreated, he's very good at crushing these feelings. all fear is buried, all resentment turned inward, all sadness distracted from. on top of this, even if ralsei lacks a developed sense of right and wrong, ralsei believes that doing harm to a lightner is one of the wrongest things he could do. in a sense, Ralsei is a Puritan. he's not a misogynist, but he believes that he and all his fellow darkners are born into a meaningless and sinful life, and that they can only find meaning and be cleansed by serving their gods. he suppresses all his individuality, and is rude to people he thinks are "bad." for ralsei to act selfishly and maliciously towards his gods would be massively out of character for him, since even thinking about doing that sort of thing would have him hating himself.

another strain of ralsei horror is... i guess eldritch horror? the idea of ralsei as a mindless puppet of a malicious entity, who does horrifying things with a sweet smile on his face, like some sort of siren luring you into a trap or something. this is inaccurate to canon ralsei, but i think it could work, since ralsei would like to be thist. he possesses free will, and is capable of doubt and regret, and he hates that. ralsei's ideal self is perfect and obedient, never doing wrong by whatever higher power he follows (lightners or the prophecy), doesn't think, doesn't doubt, and is always happy. whether or not the power he serves is malicious, ralsei would absolutely choose to become a mindless drone if he could, and even when he possesses free will, he encourages others to pursue this as well, and this is where the horror comes from. one day you might see him and he's not himself anymore, and he might try and make you like that too. even then, even as just himself, there's a demon inside him that wants him to destroy himself and become an empty husk that serves obediently, a demon placed there by trauma, broken ideology, and fantasical narrative. he's effectively been brainwashed, and the horror comes from the idea that one day he might fully succumb to that. it doesn't help that this ideology literally tells him "being obedient to lightners is the only way to be happy."

sorry if these thoughts are disjointed.

as a finshing note, mindless drone ralsei WOULD imprison and manipulate you on orders from a higher power, because he's incapable of deeper connection or internal conflict. if you didnt want to obey the prophecy, he might lock you up until you agree to help, but at the same time he'd be smothering you with love and affection and indoctrinating you into his cult, because you're a lightner. and that's legitimately scary. normal ralsei wouldn't do that, especially not now, since he's growing as a person. he likes and cares about kris and susie beyond them being lightners and delta warriors. he wouldnt want to lock them up, and even if he tried to indoctrinate them, he'd feel guilty and ashamed over it, and he'd care that they were upset with him. mindless drone ralsei wouldn't feel conflicted, because under his rigid programming, he hasn't done anything wrong. he's treating the lightners well, and even if they're upset with him, he's ultimately doing the right thing because the prophecy is the ultimate moral good, and he's just helping them onto the right path.

[jeremy-queere]

The major downside of the OCR squip song line is I have to live with the knowledge that Rich doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom </3

Still, wish they kept it. The best version is probably the off-broadway one, cuz not only does it keep the line but it also gives us an extra verse

(also hi this ask is an excuse to hear your opinions)

HAHAHA. Depressingly I would assume that's canon for all versions of Rich.

You gotsa tell me what extra vers you're talking about?? unless it's the bit I will rant about below bc

YES MY OPINIONSSS

so!!!!!!!!! christ this got long. you are not contractually obligated to read it

The SQUIP song is literally an infomercial. It is. And it's great and I love it. Way back in the day I did an in-depth analysis of a Heathers song line-by-line about how each element was used to make JD more manipulative. The SQUIP song deserves that too so. I'll see if I need to do that in this post?? We know what an infomercial is!

Random Google result for the structure of an infomercial brought up a guide on writing one. It defines the format as 4 sections:

The introduction introduces the product or service and the problem it solves. It should be concise and serve as an attention-grabber for the listener/viewer. It’s a teaser and should be written in an engaging and lively manner. 

The product demonstration explains how the product or service works and its benefits. The product is presented in detail so the audience is informed of features and benefits.

The call to action encourages viewers to take action and purchase the product or service. Ideally it includes a special offer or some enticing incentive to get your audience to act. 

The closing summarizes the key points and offers a final call to action. It repeats the benefits of the service, the special offer incentive, and where and how to buy the product or service. 

For an example of this in song form, check out TWRP's The Perfect Product:

Lemme also google persuasive writing techniques... and one of them is just a list of fallacies, so let's head there for more SQUIPspo. And a list of infomercial techniques. I'll only include them if they're relevant to the SQUIP song, but Rich uses a ton of 'em so. Here's a sampling!

Appeal to ignorance - Your claim is true because there's no evidence against it. Compare with argument from silence - "assuming that a claim is true based on the absence of textual or spoken evidence from an authoritative source, or vice versa" False dilemma - An either-or problem without considering whether a third option is possible. Definist fallacy - Defining a term in a specific, emotionally biased way, making the argument hard to refute if the listener accepts the "loaded terms"' definitions. Divine fallacy - "because something is so incredible or amazing, it must be the result of superior, divine, alien or paranormal agency" Reification - "treating an abstract belief or hypothetical construct as if it were a concrete, real event or physical entity" Focus on the problem and its solution in the ad, not just the product/service itself. Talk about solutions and benefits, not features. Storytelling to connect to customer's emotion - including the power of testimonials Create a sense of urgency. "Because they know if they can’t get someone to act right away, they’ll come up with reasons and excuses not to act later" Add value by showing multiple uses. Use memorable phrases and taglines. Before/after comparisons Repetition Various appeals to emotion including fear, ridicule, and "Wishful thinking – arguing for a course of action by the listener according to what might be pleasing to imagine rather than according to evidence or reason" Argumentum ad baculum - An argument made through threat of force Genetic fallacy – a conclusion is suggested based solely on something or someone's origin rather than its current meaning or context

Infomercial programming is full of powerful words that sweep viewers into a world of possibilities. They structure their content to bring people to an emotional high thinking about how different their lives could be… if they only picked up the phone. Then, to hammer home the point, infomercials contrast that ideal situation with the viewer’s current reality. They point out how the viewers’ lives won’t improve and will only get worse if they don’t take action.

Also golly. I can't finish reading through this list of cognitive biases because it's too damn long but here's the wiki link anyhow. (Also in the above list, I quoted a lot of the sources without specifying which one - but then I remembered this is me just rambling about a Be More Chill song I like, not an academic report, so myeh :P)

OK FUCK AFTER ALL THAT. I guess it won't take much MORE time to do a line by line, huh?? I'm not going to point out which fallacy Rich uses and when because tbh I'm lazy. I worry that this is over-explaining because Rich's not like. Subtle. But whatever

Freshman year I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue I was a loser just like you

Setting Jeremy as the "before" in the infomercial with Rich as the "after." Also connecting the concept that being single = being a loser. Even though the focus of this song isn't about "getting the girl," that seed's already planted - not as an end goal, but that having a girlfriend is an important prerequisite to become like Rich.

Good times would only Soar by

This is important to connect to the "picture this" segment, so put a pin in this. Everything Rich says about himself is a descriptor of how he sees Jeremy and, therefore, how Jeremy should see himself. This is setting up the problem in order to create a solution down the line - or rather a huge host of problems: You're single, clueless, a loser, you miss out on the good experiences you're supposed to get in high school...

I was gross As every female would attest

Here, note that the boys' opinion of Rich aren't taken into account yet. Being "gross" isn't just a personality flaw or about something physical - it's a measure of one's worth in a way that can be objectively measured by how popular they are with girls.

This will also segue well into Be More Chill Pt 1 & 2 with the focus on Jeremy's slobbery.

My sexting was a futile quest My little penis was depressed He was so lonely Poor guy

More of the same in that sexual conquest is linked to self worth, but the language here is important too. Firstly, Rich is sliding in words like "depressed" and "lonely" without openly diving into those emotions. In fact, he's suggesting that feeling depressed and lonely (which again, Jeremy is meant to see in himself) is at its heart a sexual problem.

I'd also expect that, with the bathroom setting and the "confidence" line in the play, Rich talking about his penis is an alpha male dominance thing.

But! If nothing else, Rich was right that it speaks to confidence. The first thing we learn about Jeremy is his sexual frustration, which is an introduction for us about his feeling of powerlessness in his own life. The point isn't that Jeremy masturbates, but that he tries it unsuccessfully, making him uncomfortable, making him extremely self-conscious around peers, all of which he sees as his natural state.

Like, not to get too Freudian I guess. But Jeremy puts a lot of emphasis on his own dick (and balls... thanks, More Than Survive...) as a symbol of shame and lack of control. Rich picks up on this innately (stalls are for girls, Jeremy!). I headcanon Jeremy as needing testosterone shots due to being intersex and that he has a lot of body image issues related to this

I was Hopeless, hopeless I was Helpless, helpless

Repetition! Also like, alliteration/slant rhyme, but let's not get into that.

Every time I'd walk the hallway I would trip

Maybe more than the previous lines, this characterizes old-Rich (and now-Jeremy) as socially awkward. As far as we know, Rich doesn't have any mobility issues, so the image we get is of someone who's so anxious that they don't look where they're going - then accidentally becomes very negatively visible by creating an obstacle in the hallway.

I was Stagnant and idle

Connecting to Jeremy's I-want song - what Jeremy fears most is stagnation, of survival without thriving. We now know that the SQUIP would have known this, but for Jeremy, this probably just resonated unexpectedly.

I was So suicidal

Finally we get the briefest glimpse of Rich as a kid with genuine mental health problems. Jeremy doesn't express suicidality (until the SQUIP encourages him to). Because it doesn't apply directly to Jeremy, maybe that's why Rich hurries right past it to the next lines.

But arguably, if we're taking all of the SQUIP Song as disingenuous, this could be more of a threat. Like, this is the ultimate point that Jeremy is striving toward if he doesn't make a change and fast.

And then Then, then Then, then Then, then Then, then Then, then Then, then I got a Squip

I love this bit. The repetition really does serve to draw you in, put you at the edge of your seat. Almost reminds me of Jenna in how carefully crafted their stories are (in comparison to Chloe, whose retellings are always written much less engagingly lol because she has such a shallow grasp of the situations).

The "then"s acting as a drumroll are important imo to keep this from feeling like a blast of information that Jeremy's forced to listen to. And then? And then? And then?!

And indeed, Jeremy does finally express interest instead of immediately running for the hills.

Note that this section of the song officially ends the introduction and moves onto the demonstration. We have the problem established - now here's the miracle solution.

[JEREMY, spoken] You got quick?

Side note - I do love a lot of things about the Broadway musical and cast. Will Roland's high notes are gorgeous.

But in most respects I prefer the original recording because the camp seems a lot more... legitimately weird, rather than played up for fans. The dynamic between Jeremy and the SQUIP is just so vastly different in the Broadway version. Broadway SQUIP is a fun bombastic villain, but he never gets the chance to schmooze Jeremy the way that OCR SQUIP did.

Other lines suffer from the same melodrama, including this one. Broadway Jeremy says it fearfully, knees practically knocking together. But OCR Jeremy says, "You got quick?" like a confused kid who WAS cornered in the bathroom but is now just trying to figure out what the hell Rich is talking about, which is closer to how the audience feels too. The "then"s really built up anticipation for all of us (and I'm sure there's another musical explanation about waiting for the phrase to resolve or something).

[RICH, spoken] Not quick Squip

[JEREMY, spoken] I've just never heard of it before

[RICH, spoken] Yeah, that's the point! This is some top-secret, can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet shit

The SQUIP having a weird name isn't a flaw. It's a feature! Duh!

It's presented as secret, illicit, dark-web technology. That gives it an exciting air of mystique but also explains away any doubts Jeremy would have.

It's also, I guess, a way for the musical to skip past several chapters of Jeremy googling the SQUIP and selling stolen beanie babies

It's from Japan

Now this line! This bit, I feel like I still don't totally understand. Obviously it's playing on the early 2000's hype of Japanese products being high-tech, cutting-edge, and a little bit weird. Everyone makes it pretty clear that the SQUIP being Japanese is a major selling point. Unfortunately, I suspect it's there to sound, at some level, exotic and confusing and untouchably cool. Sort of like the tech version of "ancient Chinese medicine" (which is smacked on half the labels in the vitamin aisle no matter their origin to give them a false air of authenticity)

It's a gray, oblong pill

Very important to mention lol. Imagine buying a SQUIP without knowing what it looks like and then getting the tictac.

Look on a bottle of prescription medication and you'll probably find a similar description- "yellow round pill" etc. The "oblong" language links the SQUIP to not only being tech but being psychiatric medicine, which Jeremy immediately picks up on.

That medical aspect also lends the SQUIP some authority and legitimacy, which it will happily abuse when it tries to treat Jeremy's various mental health issues later.

Quantum nano-technology CPU

Technobabble, again making the SQUIP sound advanced and, if you don't understand it, YOU'RE the dumb one, Jeremy.

The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until It implants in your brain and it tells you what to do

Honestly? Very up front. Thanks, Rich. Setting expectations! He's building a lot of hype about something hard to quickly describe.

We know from Jeremy reprising the song later that the finger tutting Rich does is a vital part of the message of the song. It's the demonstration aspect.

[JEREMY, spoken] So… It's like… Drugs?

[RICH, spoken] It's better than drugs, Jeremy

I always appreciate the condescending tone here, like Jeremy's a child who just asked a very silly question.

If we're getting in the weeds - which clearly for some reason I am - we can read this as an acknowledgement that, for a kid in Jeremy's situation, drugs are in fact good. Jeremy saying "drugs" cautiously informs us as an audience that he isn't especially familiar with drug abuse, which is probably important context for how we understand his and Michael's weed use later. They're not using drugs like "cool kids" - they're using drugs like "losers."

Basically, Rich is acknowledging that drugs are one way to cope with all the problems that Jeremy has... but they're not the solution. It also distances himself from the dodgy role of drug pusher, which would be very easy to see him as in this interaction. Rich sounds like someone who has tried drugs (which for a teen, implies money, connectedness, a way around authority, and an exciting danger) but doesn't even want them because a SQUIP is like drugs but better.

[RICH & (ENSEMBLE)] It's from Japan! (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah) It's a gray, oblong pill, (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah) Quantum nano-technology CPU. (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah) The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah) It implants in your brain and it tells you what to do. (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)

Repetition legitimizes. Repetition legitimizes. Repetition legitimizes.

The chorus in the background sounds almost like a religious choir, raising the stakes, sounding inhuman and huge and overwhelming.

It tells you what to do

Now this may just be headcanon, but the way I hear this line, it's always as if Rich is trying to communicate to Jeremy that Rich is not the one singing the SQUIP song.

Jeremy, it tells you what to do (it gives you directions)

It TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO (IF I AM DOING SOMETHING. IT IS BECAUSE THE SQUIP IS TELLING ME TO. THE IMPLICATIONS JEREMY.)

Unfortunately, if that's Rich's goal, it doesn't work because Jeremy is used to having no power. He wants to be guided and have his own impulses set on the back burner. Rich thinks this is a red flag but Jeremy sees it like a racing flag being dropped.

It's preprogrammed (Ohhhhh)

As a description of features, this is pretty lame, right? You don't sell an iPhone by saying, "It can make calls. It has apps. Oh and also, it has its own OS :)"

This is just throwing words out there for the emotion of them, not the meaning. At best, we can argue that being "preprogrammed" means that Jeremy doesn't have to take responsibility for making any choices when it comes to the SQUIP's installation. Hooray.

It's amazing (Ohhhhh)

This is SO infomercially and I love it.

Speaks to you directly (Ohhhhh Ah ah)

Our first hint that the SQUIP isn't just a "thing" but a "being." For Jeremy, this is also a selling point, as per his I-want song.

You behave as (Ohhhhh) Its appraising (Ohhhhh) Helps you act correctly (Ohhhhh)

This section is so very tailored to its audience. Jeremy actively wants instruction. A personal trainer in his brain would be life-changing.

It's also a little insight into the ironically binary mindset of a SQUIP. They don't choose actions based on moral character, right and wrong. They analyze situations and categorize actions as correct or incorrect. Pass or fail. For Jeremy, who sees himself as constantly somehow failing at being a person (relatable), this is a breath of fresh air, of honesty.

[RICH &ENSEMBLE] Helps you to be cool

The book SQUIP didn't like the word "cool" because Jeremy conceptualized it as some weird unattainable state of mind: "Cool," capital C. The musical SQUIP doesn't have to worry about that (especially since they're in an audiovisual medium now). Instead, this underscores exactly what the SQUIP is supposed to do if Jeremy hasn't gotten the picture from the snapshots Rich has provided yet.

It helps you rule

Later called back as the kids "ruling" the world/school/human civilization/it's unclear, but for now, it's just about having a positive impact on the world and enjoying your time alive.

Previously, we described the SQUIP's physical features, its mechanism of action, and how you interact with it. Now we're taking it as something beyond a product that you can buy. You're not getting a SQUIP. You're getting a change in who you are. You can "be cool," which is about being perceived positively by your peers. But that's a passive action. The SQUIP can also help you to do... something vague and positive. It's easy to insert your own interpretation in this phrase.

ANYWAY we're FINALLY at the IMPORTANT PART OF THE SONG that they CUT to upset ME SPECIFICALLY lol

[RICH] Picture this:

We are comparing the before and after! This is the vital part of the presentation! We have the "before" of Rich being a mentally ill loner loser. Then he got a SQUIP, which can help you self-actualize. So it's stupidly important to demonstrate the consequences of installing the SQUIP in order to illustrate the goal Jeremy wants to obtain!

This isn't a vague promise of being cool. These are tangible, concrete improvements that Rich is living proof of. This is his testimonial of a positive SQUIP user experience. This is what Jeremy can strive toward and this is what he can obtain by buying a SQUIP.

This is the money shot, basically!

Nobody cares if you are late 'Cause even teachers think you're great

Nobody cares sounds like a loser thing... but it's flipped on its head. Nobody's paying you negative attention because people all like you. You aren't just cool with your peer group, but you have specific powers you can wield within the school for your own ends. You're no longer going to be bound to the schedule of high school, which is one of the biggest sources of disempowerment for Jeremy already - c'c'c'c'mon - he's constantly late, constantly uncomfortable, constantly belittled. But with a SQUIP, he can take control of his own time.

Realistically, this sounds a little weird, right? If a teacher is that invested in the high school hierarchy (hi Mr. Reyes), they're probably not doing their job that well.

But this isn't a realistic list of features. It's a beer ad with laughing faces, parties on the beach, bikinis. It's a smear of joy and bombast.

Your weekend's just a full-on slate of blowout benders

Jeremy's not only going to have friends, to be cool, but his everyday life is going to transform dramatically.

In Loser Geek Whatever, Jeremy explains that half of what he was proud of was just doing something he hadn't thought he was capable of before. This entire section is similarly aspirational. Jeremy hasn't gone to blowout benders before, but he envies the people who do.

Of teenage rockstar splendor

This is the height of the coolness promise! You're going to be incredible, Jeremy! You're not going to be alone ever again! You're going to be treated like a rock star, and what's more, you're going to know you deserve to be treated that way!!!

Right now you're Helpless, helpless You are Almost hopeless

I still don't get how Broadway skipped everything above and went straight down to Jeremy getting insulted again. The negging doesn't work without Jeremy having a clear future to look forward to.

Anyway, if Jeremy didn't realize before that the old Rich was supposed to represent himself, he does now with this further repetition. The word "almost," though - that's a hope spot. A tiny chance of redemption. The SQUIP isn't just a solution. It's Jeremy's only solution.

On the school's social map you're just a blip

This is given more meaning in its contrast to the idealized future Rich promised above. Without that context, it sounds like Rich is just insulting Jeremy to rub salt in the wound. But in context, it's reminding Jeremy that he's not at rock star status and can't hope to get there on his own.

But if you Take my advice

We're officially beginning the call to action, the if->then. Rich isn't selling you something, Jeremy. He's giving you advice because he sees himself in you.

and if you pay the listed price

I believe it's the OCR that has the threatening tone in Rich's voice for this one? I prefer that. It's a subtle threat of punishment (argumentum ad baculum!).

The "listed price" phrasing again makes this sound like a legitimate product rather than a back-alley deal, even with Rich pounding his fist in his hand.

If you wanted to get fake deep, you could again make the argument that Rich is warning Jeremy off by hinting at the SQUIP's price... but I truly do think this is more of a "bitch better have my money."

It's a nice contrast to the friendly advice, since Rich is Jeremy's bully, after all. This isn't too good to be true because Rich is demanding something in return.

I would call this part of the time pressure just based on Rich's demands outside of the song.

Well, then you go from sad to interesting To hip

We might see a person described as "sad" and think that's an emotion they're feeling. But no - this is who Jeremy is right now. He's a sad excuse for a person.

And it's not an immediate transformation. There are stages Jeremy will go through to get himself noticed and eventually admired.

I am doing the song a kindness by not paying extra attention to Rich using the word "hip"...

Your whole life will flip!

Again calling back to the rock star fantasy. This will change Jeremy's life. And Jeremy? Can it really get any worse?

[RICH & ENSEMBLE] When you buy a Squip!

This is the only time in the song where Jeremy is explicitly told what to do - and it's no longer "if" you buy a SQUIP. It's "when." You're going to do it eventually because you'd be crazy not to. Why not get started on fixing your life right now?

Rich is talking like he's already made the sale in between the lines "If you take my advice" and "when you buy." Confidence! This is also the conclusion of the sales pitch, when we're reminded that this is a tangible product that can be bought.

[RICH & (ENSEMBLE)] Hey, yeah, a Squip! (Ahhh, ahhhh) Oh, a Squip (Ahhh, ahhhh) Hey, yeah! (Ahhh, ahhhh)

Not much more arguing done here, but the repetition is pretty valuable for the weird "SQUIP" name. Rich is just building hype and emotion.

BMC ensemble is often what Jeremy, as our point of view character, perceives "everyone" to be feeling or doing. The ensemble isn't pushing a SQUIP on Jeremy, but they're in awe of what Rich is presenting to Jeremy.

No longer a drip when you got in your grip

Given the context of the rest of the song, I think it's more than fair to read a double entendre here as a callback to how the conversation started. Or maybe that's just my limp mack daddy game talking.

In any case, "grip" (along with, you know, rhyming with "SQUIP") is a strong word to choose implying power and, again, personal agency.

A Squip A Squip A Squip (Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)

BIG FINISH!

[seramilla]

So Lucifer is flying around trying to clear his thoughts when suddenly he runs into Carmilla flying up having just visited overlord Sera. He's shocked she's her and asks what's she doing in hell and she goves him a non answer saying like Seraph business or something like that. As she leaves and enters the portal to heaven she says something like I forgive you for sleeping with a human or I understand what you saw in humans something along those lines and dissappears before Lucifer can ask her what she meant.

Carmilla exits through the portal from Hell and into her own office in Heaven in the blink of an eye. She closes the portal with a whoomp and a rush of air behind her, and lets go of the huge breath she'd been holding ever since she left Sera's office. She'd been very quick about it today. She's certain she covered all her bases, and that no one had seen her coming or leaving.

Straightening her robes again, she walks over to her desk, finally ready to start on the ever-growing tower of papers that had been building up since that morning. Hellfire, she really doesn't want to work today.

"I wish I'd had more time with Sera this morning," Carmilla thinks aloud, the pining evident in her voice, and a goofy grin appearing on her face. "It was fun, though."

"A-hem!"

Carmilla is brought out of her own head at the sound of someone clearing their throat across the room. She looks over at the pair of chairs by the entrance to her office. The ones she'd placed there for visitors to sit while they awaited an appointment with her. Carmilla sees Lucifer sitting there, top hat sitting in his lap and cane leaning against the leg of the chair.

Carmilla quite literally falls over at seeing him there. She scrambles to stand back up, hands knocking over a bunch of papers as she moves to right herself again.

"Lu-Lucifer! He-hello! What...what are you doing here?"

Lucifer stands up just then, putting his hat back on. He twirls his cane, and then leans against it slyly. Oh fuck, Carmilla thinks, had he heard her just now...?

"We had a lunch appointment, remember? You said you wanted to talk about my daughter's redemption program?"

Carmilla stands fully upright now, doing her level best to shake off any of her remaining sheepishness to give Lucifer her full attention. She straightens her hair, which still isn't perfect after Sera had, uh--had, umm--

Forget that.

"Oh! Yes! Your appointment! Shall we be on our way?"

"You gonna tell me why you're half an hour late?"

Lucifer asks this question so cheekily. His eyebrows waggle at her, suggesting that he already knows exactly why she'd been late. A profuse blush spreads from Carmilla's cheeks down to her neck and collarbone. Satan, this tiny man is so incorrigible!

"There's nothing to tell."

"I'm sure Sera would beg to differ."

"Oh, she can beg all right..."

WHY THE FUCK HAD SHE JUST SAID THAT??? Carmilla screams internally at herself. In front of Lucifer, of all people?! Had he put a spell on her or something?! She wouldn't put it past him.

"Okay, nope!" Carmilla shouts, going back to her desk to get some work done for a change. "We are not doing this now. I'm done. I've got too much going on to be talking about this with you, of all people."

"Hey, Carmilla, relax," Lucifer says, the resonance in his voice completely changing when he sees how uncomfortable she is. "I didn't mean anything by it. I'm happy for you."

"Wait. Really?"

"Yes, really! Remember who you're talking to."

Oh, yes. Carmilla does remember who she's talking to. The original angel who slept with a human. The one who had literally been cast out for it. While she stands here in front of him all these years later, like a hypocrite, getting away with it.

Carmilla sits down in her chair, covering her face with her hands, seemingly clawing at her own skin in frustration. He is the last person who should be supportive of her about this, and yet he is. And that is just so like him!

"I'm sorry," Carmilla says, too ashamed to meet his gaze. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you."

"It's okay, Carm. Why would I get mad about this? You tried to stand up for me, back then. I'm just glad you weren't tossed out, too. We need good people up here."

Carmilla smiles, sheepishly. "Thanks." Then, wish a coy grin, she adds, "I guess now I finally see what you saw in humans."

"I know, right??!!" Lucifer squeals, moving up to the desk to sit on top of it while he chats with her. He looks so eager, like a little kid at an amusement park. "I don't need all the gory details, but tell me everything! I wanna know how this happened."

Carmilla sighs, but smiles at him. She hadn't been expecting to have this conversation with anyone today, let alone with this man. But he is still just so...Lucifer. Some things never change.

She pushes past the awkwardness and embarrassment and tells him everything, short of the really juicy details. Those memories, she will keep all to herself.

Changed this up a little to follow the previous ask because it's hilarious if Carmilla also gets an intervention, and comedy gold if Lucifer is the one doing it. 😂😂

[mx-pokirby]

Okay pls listen

I keep thinking about this, and I don't have a Monolith Soft/Platinum/Atlus-size team nor budget, so making my own dream game will have to wait, and a Tumblr post will have to suffice

Breaking the 4th wall is nothing new.

Theater shows where performers speak directly to the audience. Films that emphasis the viewers' roles as voyeurs to elevate the art. Games that dissect the nature of protagonism, using the medium to create ludonarrative harmony.

All good and deserving even more be made.

Yet in that final case, I feel there's often a disconnect in assuming the level of responsibility the game expects of you in "controlling someone against their will".

The protagonist will clearly be upset at you like "How dare you be here, controlling me? This is all your fault. Fuck you." and you kinda just gotta sit there like "Damn, sorry I guess but I didn't make any of this happen, buddy. I just held W and tried my best to help. If I left then literally everything would remain still. None of this is on me."

Cuz your expected to at least suspend your disbelief hard enough to forget that the game has a Creator(s) in the first place.

It's like a long-running mystery where you're supposed to just pretend there's no Supreme Mastermind. Everything just happens to be "like this" and you + your character just both gotta cope.

What I, as a creator, want to see is more works that actually call attention to that. About dissecting the concept of the Artist's role from within the Art itself.

There's so much potential in flipping the interrogation light inwards, to ask what forces motivated the Artist to create their world the specific way they ultimately chose, and have that be a key element in what the narrative is about.

Tangent time.

In my teens, I had an RPG Maker phase. I never made enough progress to release anything, but I was familiar enough with the program. Something about the process of making a game in RPG Maker is how easily I slipped into having fun just making up Skills and Items and whatnot. Just toss in some numbers, select an Effect, and write an endearing yet informative description.

In universe, characters may have to go through life-changing struggles to earn these dangerous powers which could upend their very worlds.

Yet you, the creator, are also able to create both their challenges & rewards with the ease of a keystroke. And any limitations thereof are purely choice, because Game Balance and Plot Structure is an expectation, but importantly not a hard rule.

Your paying audience may care about sudden nonsensical bullshit, but the characters within the narrative would certainly not care about any of the above as long as they can return to living peacefully ASAP. Conflict.

Allow me to give an example that's been occupying my brainspace as of late.

Skill Target: Self Type: Heal Effect (1): Heal HP - 100% Effect (2): Remove - All Debuffs Effect (3): Apply - Omni Buff Effect (4): Gain Status - Invincible Skill Learned At: Level 1 Skill Cost: 0 MP Skill Name: Lift Finger Description: Even if you can no longer stand, as long as the fire inside is still burning, you can find the strength to keep going and face any odds

In a story self-aware of its own mechanics, anyone can effectively obtain Godhood for nothing, and characters would have to grapple with that.

Especially in a work that gives similar/the same (even if stripped down) tools or creation / customization to the player that the creator(s) made the game with. Your Mario Makers, Little Big Planets, Mugen, Cladun, Magical High School Girl (ok maybe not technically but it still deserves a shoutout), anything that runs on Source.

I think a game that wants to tell a story deconstructing / dissecting the act of creation, while using its medium to the best of its ability, would need to require player creation be a core gameplay element.

Partly because, when you're given the freedom to implement overpowered Free Win Button nonsense like the example above, what's stopping you from pushing everything to the extreme?

Only arbitrary, socially/self-enforced rules, and the blurry bounds of what's actually possible. The same limitations as the Creator.

And if the power to Create is given not only to the player, but narratively something anyone can do, then all it takes is one person who values their own self-interest above the arbitrary rules for the rules to truly stop mattering, and everything gets out of hand. A mad-dash. Where the only reason to Create is to be as Extreme as possible. To make only The Most. So you're the best, and nothing can be better than you, nothing can knock you down.

There will still be those attempting to play by the rules, but they're a small few surviving against the odds. That drive to carve a meta out of a system never intended to have one. Assigning order to the chaos.

Only by looking back at the base fundamentals which everyone has elected to ignore can you really put everything into perspective.

Like

You see the points I'm making here, right? The reflections?

There's so many angles to take this initial concept from that I'm just enamored by. And while I'm not even certain I've done an acceptable job at trying to explain / justify this potential that I've been obsessing over, (this post (and my brain) has been cooking for two days and I'm tired), I hope I've at least scratched the surface for others to be inspired by too.

And on that note, I leave with one final piece of wisdom.

There is significantly high untapped artistic potential in the concept of the Self-Insert.

Fuck we gotta rewatch Re:CREATORS

[novelmonger]

1-5, 8, 11, 14, 18-20, 22, & 23 for End of Year asks, please?

Song of the year?

This is almost impossible to quantify (and no, I'm not going to go by my Spotify Wrapped, because I listen to music on more programs than just that, and ever since I started paying attention to my Wrapped, the top songs are always literally just my Staron playlist). But like...thematically? I'll go with "Next Stop Anywhere" from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure.

2. Album of the year?

Probably something by Citizen Soldier. Maybe either Scarecrow or ICU.

2. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Hmm...maybe Mustafa Avşaroğlu? He does instrumental music, which I listen to a lot while working or doing homework. I've added a few of his more "wintry" songs to my Christmas playlist too. Check him out!

3. Movie of the year?

Oooh...I think I'll have to go with The Wild Robot. Inside Out 2 was also really good, but not quite as good as the first one, while Wild Robot didn't have to compete against anything. What a beautiful movie, in every sense of the word.

(Now, my answer may change after I go see War of the Rohirrim this weekend, but we'll see XD)

4. TV show of the year?

My immediate thought was Arcane, but then I looked it up, and I think I watched Buddy Daddies early this year. And if that's the case...yeah, eat your heart out, Arcane. I don't care if I did ugly-cry during that one episode! Buddy Daddies stole my heart in under five minutes and is practically perfect in every way (except that it's too shoooooort! T^T) Also Buddy Daddies has the advantage of no sex scenes and much less innuendo. And the most adorable little girl you'll ever meet.

8. Game of the year?

Gasp! Spoilers for the Fortnight of Games! XD

I think I'll go with Amnesia: Rebirth. It was far and away the best horror game I played this year, and I just really, really like the way Frictional Games tell stories. There were lots of tense moments where I reacted to things in the game just as I would have in real life, and that's one of the most powerful experiences you can have while playing a game, I think.

11. Something you want to do again next year?

I can't wait for the 4th of July next year! I didn't know this, so wasn't prepared for it, but it turns out the town we moved to this year goes all out when it comes to fireworks. We don't even have to go anywhere to watch the show; we can literally just sit on our balcony for hours and watch them going off in all directions. Maybe next year I'll make snacks or something and have a little party for whoever wants to stay up late.

14. Favorite book you read this year?

Again! Spoilers for the Fortnight of Books!

I might change my mind once I take more time to think about it, but for now I think I'm going to say One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp. It's all about gratitude, and I can confidently say that this book has changed my life for the better. Practicing the discipline of thankfulness in all things really helped renew my perspective and breathe joy back into areas of my life where there was only grumbling before. I mean...not that I'm perfect now or anything like that. I'm still a work in progress ^^'

18. A memorable meal this year?

Ooooh, that'll have to be my church's fall party, where (besides other delectable treats) there was a chili cook-off. One of the ones that didn't win (somehow! I'm flabbergasted!) was called something like "armadillo chili," and it was hands-down the most delicious chili I think I've ever tasted. It had a kick to it, but wasn't super spicy, and it was also creamy. I've been trying to doctor the chili recipe I usually use to achieve something even half as good as that. Haven't managed it yet. (And yes, I've tried looking up recipes for "armadillo chili," but all the ones I can find use actual armadillo meat, which...you can't get here. So I know that's not the secret.)

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

Foremost on my mind is @rainintheevening and @sergeanttomycaptain coming to visit me! ^_^ I don't know what all we'll do, but it's going to be super fun.

20. What’s something you learned this year?

For something serious, might I direct you back up to question 14.

For more random skills, I learned how to wire ethernet plugs! We moved to a new house this year, and while they built it so there's an ethernet outlet in every room, in the basement there was just a bundle of cables hanging from the ceiling, with no way of plugging the other ends into a modem. My dad tried to figure it out, but the task eventually fell to me, since I have younger eyes ^^' It was very fiddly work, we didn't have exactly the right equipment so I ended up having to saw away at copper wires with a box cutter like an idiot, but I got it done eventually!

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

Hmm...I haven't really done any traveling at all this year. But if this counts: Before we bought our current house, there was a time we were considering renting an apartment for a short time. So we looked at a lot of "virtual tours," which were usually a slideshow of the various attractive amenities at the places we were looking at. The best memory from that stressful period was one that happened to show a picture of the pool with the caption "off-street parking." This led to our favorite new inside joke, where every time we see a swimming pool, one of us goes, "Hey, that's some really nice off-street parking!" XD

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

"Heads up, you're going to have to move much earlier than you thought you would. But guess what? God has a great place already lined up for you. It's being finished as we speak. Don't worry about looking for apartments. It's not going to be perfect, but it will be right. So try not to stress about it too much."

End of the Year Ask Game

[cinnamon-swirl-toast]

Are You Embarrassed Yet?

Pairing - Miguel O’Hara x gn!teen!reader

Summary - Miguel tries everything he can to embarrass you

A/N: i’m so sorry if the Spanish is horrible i only speak German and English! feel free to correct me though:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Am I embarrassing you yet?” Miguel O’Hara asked with genuine curiosity towards you.

He had bet against Lyla that he could make you laugh by the end of the day… and it wasn’t looking too good for him. He had tried doing a silly “TikTok” dance from your universe, he told Lyla to program his suit to look like yours, he was doing a lot of things that he himself thought were embarrassing, and yet you wouldn’t budge.

You shook your head from side to side and shuffled away from him in the room towards Hobie. He greeted you with open arms and a nod of encouragement. Hobie was rooting for you and hoping that he’d win his own bet against Gwen.

You knew exactly what was going on and who was betting what on you or Miguel. You thought it was funny at first but now it’s just annoying. Having your mentor wearing your suit or a pair of Lyla’s signature heart-shaped glasses were not only embarrassing (though you would never show it) but also gave you a pang of annoyance toward him. The sensation of being able to hide from the society in plain sight was now torn away from you as Miguel tried finding bigger and brighter (literally brighter) ways to embarrass you.

You stood beside Hobie and listened to Miguel’s speech. You’d soon all be shipped off to another universe to conquer yet another anomaly, but for now, you were stuck listening to Miguel give you all directions. You tried your best to pay attention to his words, you really did, but you noticed out of the corner of your eye Spider-people passing money back and forth placing their bets. It didn’t help that Miguel was currently dressed from head to toe in a bunny costume, deciding that since none of his more subtle tricks have worked that he would have to get extravagant with it.

Aw man, he just ruined bunnies for me… you thought with a twinkle of sadness.

That’s it, after this meeting you were going to tell him he had won. This was getting annoying and way out of hand. Luckily your moment came quickly because just as soon as the meeting started it was finished. You rushed up to his platform, shooting webbing onto the bottom and flipping up landing with a pretty cool pose.

You tiptoed beside him and poked his arm. He looked at you with a hopeful glint in his eye.

“Hey kiddo, what’s up? Finally embarrassed?” He was so ready for this stupid bet to be done and over with.

“Um yea actually, you win. I don’t wanna do this anymore so I think it would just be best if you tell everyone you won. People everywhere have been placing bets so it would be good to let them all know,” you turned around and sat on the ledge of the platform contemplating on making a leave from the room or not.

Miguel hadn’t known of the others making bets and wasn’t sure he was too happy with it. It made him feel… angry that others were partaking in something he thought only you, Lyla, and him were involved in. He guessed it was fair since he was being extra elaborate with his outfits compared to what he normally wears, but it still made him feel angry.

“Oh… I didn’t know other people were getting involved,” he turned his head toward you and noticed your defeated nature. “Hey, if you want you can tell everyone you won. I don’t have to win if you don’t want me to, Nena (babe).”

You shook your head, “No it’s okay, and it’s not that. I feel like more people are noticing me now and I don’t like it. I like feeling invisible even if I’m in plain sight and now all of these people are staring at me when you’re around to see my reaction,” you look down at your feet when you suddenly get bumped in the shoulder and hear a mumbled “sorry”. Miguel sat beside you, arm to arm over the edge.

Miguel sat and looked at you for a moment, thinking of something helpful to say. “Maybe we shouldn’t have done this, ya? I don’t think we realized how much more it was than actually a game. I don’t like thinking of people passing money between themselves thinking of you or I winning. Especially you, it just feels… wrong to spread money in your name behind your back. Lo lamento, mi cielito(I'm sorry, little heaven). I’ll order everyone to take down their bets and I'll return my clown costume too,” he looked at you, chuckling at your reaction.

“Clown suit? What were you going to do with that?” You knew the answer, yet you wanted to hear him say his plan anyway.

“Oh you know, just walk around… juggle some knives. The usual,” he said with a playful smile and a quick wink.

You punched his arm lightly and giggled to yourself. “I’m impressed at your commitment to making me embarrassed though, I’ll have to remember that for when I get sad,” you said with an earnest smile. He shared your smile and hooked his arm under yours, bringing you closer to him.

————————————————————————

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Wackus I know this isn’t really ML-related but I’m gonna get my first experience teaching kids this week and I’m soooooooooooooo nervous. I used to be really good with kids but it’s been ages since I interacted with one properly and I’ve never taught in a formal setting or anything 😭😭😭 I’m so scared I might accidentally say something too strict and make someone cry or won’t be able to hold back a laugh if someone makes a silly mistake and then hurt their feelings and I’m terrified I’m gonna traumatise them for life okay the PANIC is REAL. Do you have any advice for a first time (mid-qualification) teacher?

i do! i have a LOT!!

for context, i have taught elementary school, ages 5 - 12, grades K - 6 for 5 years. (yes i have taught every grade within that range, long story). however, this advice applies universally:

no matter if you're student teaching, staring a new teaching job, or just working in an after school program, the most important thing to remember is, they're JUST kids. they might have attitude, behavior problems, whatever. bottom line is, a kid just wants to be cared for and kept safe and educated, and that's what they will respect you for!

let's make a list, teachers love lists

set your expectations/ consequences for meeting or not meeting them. this is what we do first thing every school year, every monday, every time we start something new. AND HOLD TO THOSE EXPECTATIONS. practicing routines and procedures will make things run way more smoothly.

rely on your coworkers. those ppl are there bc they love kids and love their job, and are in the same boat as you. comiserate with them. plan with them. ask them for their wisdom. the better relationship you have with the other staff, the more resources you get for support!

strict routines. try not to switch up rules/ schedules too much. you'll find anything sets the kids off. a frikin full moon will set them off. a windy day, a rainy day, a spider. literally anything. keep schedules regular, keep transitions quick, and rules universal. keep them trained well to ensure your days go smoothly.

attention getters. they're all gonna wanna talk to each other and not pay attention to you. i teach in spanish so i say, "hola, hola" and they reply "coca cola." my english colleagues say "class class" and the kids reply "yes, yes." if i want my class to verify their understanding i say "capishe" and they reply "kaposh." if i say "waterfall" they say "shhh." these will save your life dude and there are billions. pick your favorite and roll with it!

rewards/incentives. there are also billions of these. i use class dojo, stickers, tickets, anything i can whip out and give them to the kids for instant reinforcement. think puppy training. they need IMMEDIATE praise or IMMEDIATE castigation. for more severe cases you can say "i am going to think of a consequence for you and tell you at the end of the day." they stay real quiet from then on.

affective statements. "i feel happy because you are showing me respect by keeping your eyes on me." "i feel frustrated because you are choosing not to follow the rules." kids need to know you're a person with feelings too. they're always so shook to find out you are human too, and they respect you more for it.

tattletale box. make them write out their grievances against each other and put it in your mailbox. they get writing practice and they leave you alone OR they just forget about it entirely. it's a win/win.

"I’m so scared I might accidentally say something too strict and make someone cry" <- you will do this, and they will get over it. i make my kids cry every day. those kids i am the strictest with, who i make cry the most often, are the ones giving me hugs at the end of the day and telling me they love me/coming back to see me the next year. do not fear! as long as you are coming from a place of love, they will love you too.

"won’t be able to hold back a laugh if someone makes a silly mistake and then hurt their feelings" <- you will do this too, and they will get over it. i make fun of my kids regularly for their silly mistakes, but all in good fun. it actually models for the kids how to joke with each other in a positive light, and what to NOT get butthurt over. like i said, as long as you are coming from a place of love, they will love you too.

"I’m terrified I’m gonna traumatise them for life" <- you are NOT going to traumatize them! the resilience of a child is one of the most amazing things i've ever seen. i can tell just from this that you're a person who cares about kids and wants the best for them. a person who teaches with that mindset is a person who is fated to positively influence them.

i've made looooots of mistakes. i've gotten angry emails from parents, the principal, bad reviews and low test scores. i've also had kids come back and tell me how much they learned in my class, had parents tell me how much their child loves me and misses me as their teacher, and had kids say they wanna grow up and be just like me.

you are gonna be okay. they are gonna love you because you love them. you're gonna be soooo tired and stressed out. you're gonna laugh your ass off. but one of your students is going to tell you thank you for everything you taught them, and then you'll cry and hug them and realize you're in the right place. pink promise 💕

here's a picture of me as a cat princess to motivate you

[reinstarnation]

all lowercase writing/reflecting exercise:

i'm not an ambitious person like at all. i think i've made less than ten goals that weren't a thinly veiled call to just survive. just tough it out. and sometimes i pride myself on it. sometimes i see the way people go "that's it?" when i talk dreams and ambitions and i try to stop myself from reflexively apologising. my world is small and my dreams are smaller. they have to be.

i have a lot going against me. i don't have a very stable support system. my body literally isn't built correctly to the point i /will/ need surgery to correct it if i don't want to cause further damage. i have the weight of the world on my shoulders as someone still fresh into adulthood watching the world burn around me. chronic pain and fatigue keep me from actively living a life.

the last time i made an ambitious goal was in my ninth grade mandatory health class. and that was part of a prompt for what you want to do by the time you're 25. four months after i made that goal, i almost succeeded in quashing any possibility of ever making strides towards that goal because everything was already too much for me to handle. at 14. that goal was to go on a vacation by myself for at least three days.

it wasn't an ambitious goal; i remember my health teacher thinking i was trying to make a joke out of the exercise. this was right after the sex ed unit in my school system that involved no talk about sex but acted like everyone also had the same experiences where the same health teacher docked my grade because on the prompt "what kind of person would you marry" i put down character traits and not physical attributes. he thought i was either misplaced out of the special ed classroom or trying to be funny.

that goal of a three-day solo vacation is just as unattainable as it was when i was 14. if only because my conditions have gotten worse. in 2016 when I made that goal, my knee dislocated from basic everyday activities once. this year it happened three times, and all three teetered on the edge of needing professional medical attention. I was already starting to feel the chronic fatigue from having to manage a worsening disability on top of mental illness that was about to get much worse. jump-cut to now, if i work a normal shift at work, i can barely do my normal body maintenance tasks because i have no energy left and everything hurts. a three-day solo vacation is a dream, but not one i could realise.

i have just over two years until i have surpassed that goal's timeframe. and i already know it's going to pass and i will spend my 25th birthday feeling like a failure, if i even remember my birthday before a week later like this year.

so i am not ambitious. i keep my standards low so i know i can achieve them. my only goals since i turned 18 have been SURVIVE and TRY TO ENGAGE IN HOBBIES. those are my only two goals every year. I know i say i also put down GET GAYER but i live in the little bible belt and it's not safe to do that.

if i were to make a list of big life goals, i wouldn't be able to achieve most if not all of them. here it is anyway start testosterone get top surgery graduate my master's program get at least one tattoo live away from my biological family

i sent this list as a little icebreaker for people in my master's program along my start date to get to know each other. most of us were already acquainted from undergrad, since my school has a high undergrad to masters turnover rate within the school, especially within my major. I had someone i would consider a class-friend, not quite friend level but we had multiple classes together and could default to each other for partner projects, ask why my goals were the same from when we had our last class together two years ago.

i didn't have an answer. it's not so simple as "i never got them done." i couldn't have got them done then, i certainly can't now.

i'm just not ambitious. i can't afford to be. and i have to pride myself on it or i'll look around my zoo enclosure and see how little my world is.

[mahuhumaling]

what i liked and disliked about pjotv 🔱

now this feels like it's going to be a series, with the first part being my take on the rwrb movie. except, i need to let this out and be a little harsher than my rwrb post only because this adaptation is like a hundred million dollars more expensive than the rwrb adaptation and the entire process from pre to post-prod took longer, so it certainly raises audience expectations. it's marketed as this really objective peak television, with critics backing them up and everything, when still so many things that bug me about it.

omg i planned this to be such a long post but i lost interest some time while this was drafted so now i don't really know how to explain my frustrations. so this will feel incomplete.

what i like first

annabeth seeing the fates and not percy.

luke showing percy around the camp and not annabeth.

what i didn't like

sally jackson's character arc. at first i was a defender of her arc, saying "oh just because gabe isn't explicitly physically abusive, doesn't make him any less of an abuser," and tjat just because sally seems to not be a pushover, doesn't make her powerful when it comes to putting her foot down with gabe. but after how they completed his arc by the end, i'm letting that defense go. 😬 they didn't really achieve the parallel of percy standing his ground against the gods to sally standing her ground against gabe in this.

depiction of neurodivergence. the few instances we get of adhd and dyslexia is when annabeth get distracted by the first trap in Waterland, and the seatwork/activity that percy is reading on the clipboard. other than that... it felt like just an added detail instead of a pervasive part of the character. annabeth reading the sign in the garden emporium in 5 seconds flat? them not constantly moving and evading monster because it's a part of the failure of their journey?

the tone. one of my mutuals said (who is a big fan of the books) they're so sorry but they found it boring. and as much as it pains me to admit... me too. if you know me, i'm really one who doesn't hold fidelity to the source material as the highest regard when adapting. i'm not an idiot — one of the elective classes in my program is literally Adapting Across Genres and Platforms — i know some things simply won't translate 1:1. this isn't the case here because i don't even remember details of what happens in the books! i'm specifically talking about the quest itself: even if they were not as loyal to the books, if they just kept the spirit of them winging shit out with the puzzles and figuring out who the monsters are, then maybe the tone would've worked. i'm so surprised at how drier and darker the tone is for a Disney adaptation show of a Disney Hyperion book. i'm not saying they should start putting on Disney Channel ass laughtracks and goofy music, but aren't we supposed to make this fun and keep kids' attention engaged? like the way they're rubbing in the audiences' noses that the gods are terrible, even more so than usual that it feels like we're already at season 5 levels of jaded, or how many times the percabeth sacrificed themselves for each other that it just diffused tension because of its repetition and also the placement? this would be believable if it was in season 3 and the stakes are higher. we're still in the lightning thief, calm down? i think what makes things emotion is, ironically, if you give it emotional levity: it becomes sadder when a character tries too hard to be cheerful. dire circumstances become more noticeably dire when the characters act like it isn't and that it's normal. that's why TLT works as an introduction book in a pentalogy. for gods' sakes, please let these children improvise more too. the actors of the main trio have incredible humor and chemistry in the behind the scenes videos we see, the stilted memorized lines are really not reflecting well on them.

pacing. someone said they shot themselves in the foot by cramming percy's stay at camp before the quest only in one episode, and i agree. doesn't he stay there for a month before leaving? we could've had a breather in between exposition instead of it feeling like a dump, and at the same time feel overwhelming for percy but not the audience. we could've slowly done world building of the 12 cabins and percy going through each one. a full scene of preparation for capture the flag and annabeth actually strategizing instead of just luke telling us "annabeth is the best and the smartest." i agree when jorrel javier said that the story is community driven, so much like the musical, we could have seen more scenes of the kids back at camp with chiron and mr. d and the satyrs. additional scenes of other characters, instead of dragging out what is only a few pages in the book of the trio in their quest and by doing so, making unnecessary changes. in addition, when i say the pacing is terrible, i mean it's too fast for the camp scenes because they fit everything in one episode, so naturally the rest of the episodes are then dedicated to the entire quest, so then it becomes too slow! the little details of the celestial trio stopping to talk and plan is so???? 😵‍💫 or when annabeth in the casino was like "okay guys we have a few days before the summer solstice deadline we have to hurry" and then DIDN'T HURRY. they could've at least given the audience a sense of urgency: run for their lives and deliver their lines while out of breath. thinking fast and enacting their plan on the go, or The Greek Demigod Trademark of Winging It and relying on their ADHD battle instincts! the editing department also needs to get their shot together by splicing these things faster so it feels better even though it's not a full action scene. THAT is pacing, people. this was well-explained by someone else.

how annabeth chase is written. don't misconstrue this — i'm picking on the writing, not the acting. leah is incredible, but the script of making her only this "six steps ahead wise warrior" removes annabeth's other dimensions. in truth, annabeth gets whiny and awkward and loud, expresses annoyance and frustration in bigger manners. she's twelve years old, let her sometimes act like it! also, relating to the third bullet point: annabeth's scene with hephaestus struck me as particularly odd because since when was she not terrified of angering a god? yes she was standing up for herself, but even she knows better than to talk back? i think i could understand where they were going with that scene, of hephaestus being the most tolerable because he was a victim too, but it simply didn't stick the landing. i mean she literally implies a couple episodes prior to this scene that she doesn't want the gods to think they're impertinent.

Ares and Percy's beef is forced. kinda — there wasn't enough build up to it. maybe because Ares wasn't that similar to Gabe in a sense that Gabe was particularly abusive and of course Percy hated all kinds of bullies, the Ares-Percy duel wasn't as great as it was hyped up to be either, partly courtesy to the volume's sfx of making the beach look sullen and that there are no mortals nearby. (it was supposed to be tne Santa Monica beach, right? i'm not American, did i miss that and it's not actually the beach?) there's something so exciting and marvelous realist about a very bright beach and mortals seeing Ares and Percy probably playfighting or doing beach sports by the beach as a kind of father and son through the Mist. idk. the provoking really is not that much, yet it ticks Percy off to the point . even Ares' "beware, Perseus Jackson. Beware" at the end is not that great either.

telling not showing. now this criticism is overused for pjo, but everyone who uses this criticism doesn't actually know what the writing principle of "show, don't tell" means. i feel that they really made a mistake making percy know about the demigod world immediately instead of making him the fish out of water protagonist archetype because now he recognizes every other monster and it just kills the thrill and surprise and reveals. so now, they're just telling, instead of learning who the hell they're fighting im the heat of the moment — showing.

[notenoughspace]

Visual intelligence is very important. As the production of images changes and becomes faster with the computer and the internet, there's still a value to slowing perception down and studying things in detail. Learning about art is a perfect context for that kind of heightened seeing. This isn't about nostalgia for older ways of seeing, nor about pitting the accelerated looking of the computer against slow looking, but about promoting the value of slow looking.

You can promote slow looking through a close analysis, literally spending too much time looking at one thing. In art there are all kinds of techniques for doing that, but it really comes down to paying close attention and giving a close reading to whatever it is you're looking at. Hopefully the experience you get from paying close attention—in, a museum, for example—will key you to the fact that looking can be a pleasurable activity in any context.

Talking plays an important role in this kind of looking. I don't like art therapy, but I do think that in talking about art there is an element of psychoanalysis. When you tell someone what you're seeing, you learn more than you would if you hadn't put those thoughts into language. So it helps to talk to someone about art—and to listen.

To sharpen your visual sense it's important to look at painting and photography, but one of the best ways is to watch a lot of films—and to watch a lot of different kinds of films—because they give you twenty-four images per second.

LOOKING AT ART

I don't remember a time when I didn't look at art. It's always been a part of my life. I got seriously involved with art after I was kicked out of my art class in junior high school. I'd produced a drawing that my teacher found offensive, and I was put in a detention class for smart kids who were considered delinquent or something. We could choose two topics to study during that time, and we chose music and art. A great teacher, whose name escapes me right now, took us to the Ford Amphitheater to listen to free jazz and took us to the Pasadena Museum, where I was introduced to the work of Carl Andre, Marcel Duchamp, Joseph Cornell, Ellsworth Kelly, and Claes Oldenburg, among others. So it was an act of defiance—or maybe just an unconventional idea about drawing—that put me in contact with a bigger art world.

FORMATIVE EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCE

CalArts, where I went to art school, was very open. Students' practices were not defined by a single medium. We were allowed and encouraged to do whatever we wanted. About five weeks into my first year I told one of my teachers that I had yet to receive an assignment. He said that there would be no assignments, because when we got out of school we wouldn't be fulfilling assignments. We would be working for ourselves, so why not start to work for ourselves now? They considered us artists, not students, and I carried that idea with me when I started teaching in the early 1980s. And I still do today. Another CalArts idea came from our teacher Douglas Huebler. Whenever we presented him with an idea for anything—an artwork or an artists' program or a film series—his answer was always, “Why not?” (He'd often follow it by saying, “It might not be good, but why not?”) CalArts really had a “why not?” attitude.

Sometimes people wait for the good ideas, but good ideas aren't the only things that produce good art. Sometimes, just picking up a bad idea and seeing how it works can produce something of value. So if you're sitting around waiting for inspiration or a foolproof idea, you're losing a lot of time.

So many young artists I meet don't seem to have understood that they're going to spend their whole lives as artists. They're in a hurry because they feel that if they're not a success right out of the gate they're going to be a lifelong failure. I encourage you to think in a much longer arc, to take it easy and do it for the long haul—not to have a preconceived idea of what success is in relation to a durational framework. Some artists are successful early on, others later.

Sometimes students also have misconceptions about what success is, mistaking the social aspects associated with success for actually making a successful artwork. To have a gallery, to have a big studio, and to make money isn't necessarily to make good art. Don't confuse those two things. I encourage you to think more historically and consider what your contribution to art could be, not about what your art practice can bring you in terms of material things.

ISSUE OF MEDIUM

Picking one primary medium and working strictly within it is unnecessary. It's not that it isn't an option, but it's one option among many. Especially today, artists are working in so many different media and disciplines, there's no reason to limit yourself to one. However, once you've chosen to work in a specific medium, it's important to know the history of that medium, its materiality, and how it functions technically. And as a late modernist artist I would say that it's very important to reflect upon your materials and the history of those materials.

I work primarily in photography. When I started, I really only intended to make a couple of works with it. I was interested in photography but not in being a photographer, and I certainly didn't think I was going to spend 35 years making primarily photographic works. Having said that, my idea of photography isn't confined to the idea of the camera and the print. I think of photography as an institution in which the print or the visual artifact is only one element in a network of other ways of signifying things.

So I consider the presentational devices—the framing, the mounts, the titles, the architectural situation, and the history of the institution presenting the show, the advertising, the posters, the catalogue, the essays in a catalogue—as all being an extension of the photographic institution. So then you have architecture, you have offset printing—the production of different kinds of language—which I see as being coextensive with the photographic surface.

I don't like to stand behind the camera or in front of the camera; I like to stand beside the camera. I figured out pretty early on—or I came up with the idea—that the camera is actually not the only agent involved in the production of meaning. There are also chemical designers, optical designers, and industrial designers. There are economic and social issues. So I try to move around the photographic program and occupy different positions at different times. Even though I didn't get assignments in art school, I do treat myself like a commercial photographer: I give myself assignments. I become a product photographer, or I become a photojournalist, and I pick a subject as though it were a journalistic assignment.

IMPORTANCE OF COLLABORATION

When it comes to dealing with galleries, my advice is not to hustle curators and dealers. Hang back and talk about other things. This isn't your only chance to show these people that you're interesting or to pull your slides out of your pocket. Instead, try to communicate the idea of collaboration. Often, young artists view curators, galleries, editors, publishers, etc., as a kind of service industry for them. But in the production of a show the curator and the essayist and the editor are actually your collaborative colleagues. You can't do everything. Ultimately, it's still an art-centered model, but the people you're working with are helping you achieve something that you can't necessarily do alone.

I've also been lucky enough to collaborate with some interesting artists. Two artists working together, or an artist and a writer—when it works, it produces a third element in the constellation, almost like a third person or a third subjectivity. In my best collaborations I think I emerge as another kind of artist. This isn't the place to name all the artists with whom I've worked, but my collaborations with people such as Albert Oehlen, Jeroen de Rijke, and Willem de Rooij, Mathias Poledna, and Martin Kippenberger have been really formative for me. For those reasons I strongly encourage young artists to collaborate.

WHAT AN ARTIST SHOULD DO EVERY DAY

Brush your teeth. And whatever you do, don't avoid the dentist for 35 years.

PAYING ATTENTION TO OTHERS

Pay attention to what other artists are doing. It gets harder and harder as the amount of art being produced keeps growing, but it's super important to know what your colleagues are up to. To be able to think about the present historically, you have to look at as much as you can right now. There's a more social aspect to it as well, which is that, if you expect people to pay attention to your work, you need to pay attention to theirs. If you don't care about your colleagues, they're going to be equally ungenerous to you. As artists become older and more successful, it's a very natural thing for them to withdraw and see fewer people and to look at less art. But artists such as John Baldessari and Ed Ruscha continue to go to galleries every month, getting to know younger artists and constantly looking at other people's work.

Young artists, especially, should be involved with each other. It's important to work together and try for things that might not at first seem achievable. You'll be surprised by what you can accomplish. And once you've found your community, be cool with those people, because you're going to know some of them for the rest of your life—which is a good thing and a bad thing. I was very fortunate in that regard. My colleagues at art school were Larry Johnson, Stephen Prina, Mike Kelley, John Miller, and a whole bunch of other really great people, who are still my friends and colleagues today.

ART HISTORY AND THEORY

It's important to study art history and art theory, but a distinction has to be made between making art and studying art history or theory. The practices of artists I find most interesting are those who think through their art or think through their materials and produce something like a theoretical model through their immersion in those materials and ideas, as opposed to taking ideas developed in philosophy or theory and then illustrating or applying them to the production of art. It's important to absorb as much information as possible but then to think through your materials. That doesn't mean just to think in terms of technique or to think visually but to really try to figure out the dimensions of your materials. Making a painting, for example, is different from writing. Language is a very different medium from paint.

READING

In my personal reading I find it's important to go beyond the realms of art history and art theory. I don't have a lot of time to read, so when I do read it's normally for information that I want to put to use in a project. Having said that, I've just had a long discussion with somebody about Thomas Bernhard's The Loser, which is a really fantastic book about a failed pianist whose entire life unfolds in the shadow of Glenn Gould's success. I think a work of fiction based on the moment one man realized that he was never going to be as good as Glenn Gould is a great book to give to aspiring artists.

MORE PRACTICAL ADVICE FOR YOUNG ARTISTS

1. No Plexiglas 2. No electricity 3. No humor

I don't like to throw rules at people, but if you follow those guidelines you'll be more likely to produce good art. Some of it's just practical. Plexiglas doesn't age well, so if you put it over something you've made, it's going to go milky and will get fine scratches when it's cleaned. Also, plastic is less optically precise than glass, so use glass in framing.

Electricity—again, it's just practical advice—is something that a lot can go wrong with. If you have a sound component in your work, for example, the minute you leave the installation the person at the front desk will turn down the sound, which means the sound level will never be where you want it. Twice, I took an hour-long train ride to see a friend's film installation, and twice the projector wasn't functioning—and these visits were two months apart.

The last rule—no humor—is so obvious I don't think I need to address it. Also—and this makes four rules—you shouldn't make anything you can't carry through the door yourself. This will ensure that everything is human scale and has a relationship to the body.

ASSIGNED READING, VIEWING, AND LISTENING

Reading:

– Betti, Laura, ed. Pier Paolo Pasolini: A Future Life. Bologna, Italy: Associazione Fondo Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1989.

– Buchloh, Benjamin. Neo-Avantgarde and Culture Industry: Essays on European and American Art from 1955 to 1975. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2000.

– Anything by T. J. Clark

– Anything by Thomas Crow

– Kelsey, John. Rich Text: Selected Writing for Art. Berlin: Sternberg Press, 2011.

– Kruger, Barbara. Remote Control: Power, Cultures, and the World of Appearances. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 1994.

Kruger turns her eye to many things not considered art and deals with them as complex cultural objects, addressing them on the same level as she would an artwork. Her critical voice opened lots of doors for artists. And she's a great writer. Her language is just fantastic.

– Miller, John. When Down Is Up: Selected Writings. Frankfurt-am-Main: Revolver Verlag, 2001.

I guess it's obvious that a lot of what I read is artist's writings. Young artists should be exposed to as many different ways of being an artist as possible. Every artist I've mentioned uses language in a very different way. Realizing that you can adopt many voices is another thing I try to promote in my teaching.

– Robinson, Julia, ed. John Cage. Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2011.

– Stemmrich, Gregor and Gerti Fietzek, eds. Having Been Said: Writings and Interviews of Lawrence Weiner 1968–2003. Berlin: Hatje Cantz, 2004.

There are two artists I turn to when I need to refocus and think about what I'm doing. One is Marcel Broodthaers, and the other is Lawrence Weiner. This book is an invaluable studio tool. Weiner's writing is very open and general, but it allows me to focus my thoughts.

Viewing:

– Bresson, Robert, dir. Au Hasard Balthazar. Cinema Ventures, 1966. Film.

– Godard, Jean-Luc, dir. 2 ou 3 Choses que Je Sais d'Elle (2 or 3 Things I Know About Her). The Criterion Collection, 1967. Film.

– Any Buster Keaton film

– Marker, Chris, dir. Sans Soleil. Argos Films, 1983. Film.

Listening:

– The entire recorded works of the Melvins

The Melvins are one of the most intelligent rock bands of the last 30 years.

– Anything by Sun Ra