#at some point im gonna move stuff around that i shouldnt have and the whole thing breaks
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years ago
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artblock but more in the vein of cockblock where im doing great but my laptop takes 5 seconds to respond to any click i make and the movie i need is not yet out on dvd
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rpfisfine · 9 months ago
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For the gaming asks: 11, 24, 30!
HEYYYYYYYYYYYY win thank you so much and sorry for being so late smiles in a regretful and apologetic style
11. favorite game genre
answered!!
24. if you could live in one of the games you’ve played, which one would it be?
thats such a beautiful quastion i honestly remember having wanted to live in pretty much every single game ive ever played no matter the genre but probably subnautica..i literally don't care that i would be stranded on an alien virus infected planet completely alone with nothing but sea creatures ranging from adorable to mindbendingly horrifying to keep me company and no hope of a rescue i would literally be thriving i think...... i was born to live the faceless subnautica man lifestyle
30. favorite aspect of a game (e.g. exploration, combat, fashion/customization, environments, graphics, bosses, roleplaying, etc.)
(is it gonna be really really genuinely annoying and horrible if i say gambling......i know its not an actual aspect at all but i mean this completely genuinely whenever a game has a gambling mechanic or even just some kind of undercover mission where you need to win at poker or sth it immediately becomes a hundred times better in my eyes like there are only a few game worlds within which gambling wouldn't make sense otherwise you can only benefit from adding in like a weird guy who sits in the corner of a pub who allows you to gamble. you have nothing to lose)
but okay im gonna answer in a less lame fashion and go one by one in like a process of elimination so exploration = good but also becomes a stressful and tedious process when a world is annoyingly big bc you're always Missing something and at some point it always turns into only caring abt unchecking boxes and crossing locations off a list than genuinely caring abt what they have to offer. combat & bosses = depends on how finely tuned the combat mechanics are in the game obvs if they're horrible or have aged rly badly then i only thoroughly enjoy it like 50 hours into the game once i have bent the gameplay to my will but if it's good (like in current cyberpunk 2077 for example) then im literally attacking everything that moves bc its fun and awesome and im good at it. environments = sometimes face the same problem as the exploration aspect but when they are truly truly unique and distinct and feel completely different from each other i rly love just going around and soaking up the atmosphere of different locations. graphics = not that important to me i think liking a game purely because of its graphics is one of the shallowest things the human psyche is capable of obvs it sucks when a game is borderline unplayable bc its appearance makes you want to vomit (like this game called black and white does anyone remember black and white.....) but there are sooooooooo many gems that also happen to look like garbage but that shouldnt make you want to not play them... give old bad looking games a chance....... for me
and i think through the process of elimination i have arrived at the conclusion that my fav aspect is fashion / customization & roleplaying all at once i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE roleplaying not even for like major game defining decision stuff but mostly when it allows you to do the most mundane things like having tea in the morning and making your bed and doing chores and petting dogs and picking up your hat when it gets knocked off and fashion & customization kind of ties into that as well im always like well michael gta wouldn't wear these sunglasses because he hates them (source: my mind)..... arthur would never wear this fancy dress shirt and top hat bc he doesn't bathe enough etc. like my preferences for what i would actually like to see a character wear come AFTER what i think the character itself would want to wear. but yeah to put this whole insanely long thing very briefly roleplaying is my favorite aspect
gaming asks
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fandomsnstuff · 5 years ago
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Angus figures everything out and fucks up Lucretia’s whole Thing AU
Lucretia hires angus, innoculates him, and is like this is the deal with those missing people cases you were investigating
Angus says oh okay! This totally and completely satiases my curiosity :)
Internally angus says this is sus as hell
So he does what he does best, he snoops
So angus is snooping and somehow, cause he's a little crime boy who can sneak around real good, he finds the starblaster
He's like what the fuck is this
He gets in, and it's.....odd. he doesnt linger in any one room too long, he just kind of pokes his head into the bedrooms and moves on (he figures he shouldnt stay here too long, lest he get caught)
But the most peculiar thing is how lived in this place looks. There's mismatched furniture with throw pillows and blankets in the common area, a chore chart on the fridge, the bedrooms are all cluttered with knick knacks and clothes, beds unmade, theres a lab with papers scattered around tables and taped to the wall
But one room catches his attention
It's... fairly simple, and emptier than the others. Bookshelf with some books missing, a bare desk, but what catches his attention is the pile of red on the bed
He goes to investigate and finds robes and jackets, all with an odd patch and names embroidered on them
He finds, in this order:
A robe with "lucretia" embroidered on it
A jacket and robe, together as if someone had been wearing them at the same time, with "lup" and "taako"
A jacket with "davenport"
A robe with "merle"
A jacket with "magnus"
(there’s no barry robe cause he fell off the ship with it, these are the robes/jackets lucretia took off of the crew members as she sent them off to their new lives)
Now. This is after crystal kingdom and angus was at the candlenights party. He knows the director's name is lucretia
He knows who Davenport is
He knows who taako, magnus, and merle are
This is pre-LUP incident, so he doesnt know who lup is
Angus, appropriately freaked out, puts them all back and BOLTS
Angus vacates the premises
Runs back to his room
He tries to figure out what this all means, but his thoughts dodge around the obvious conclusion that's right in front of him
Hes too nervous to go back, it's not until the L U P incident that he decides okay. I have to go back
So he goes back. He goes into the room labeled Captain's Quarters (although "captain" has been scratched out and changed to "cap'nport". Angus doesnt think too hard about what that means)
In the desk he finds some folders with the same weird logo as the robes and jackets. He doesnt look in them. Not yet. He can do that back in his room. He cant spend too much time here.
Then he goes to the lab. He doesnt know what hes looking for, but he grabs ones that seem important. A notebook or two. Some papers clipped together. He just grabs and shoves them into his bag and he fuckin bolts again
he looks at what he grabbed and some of it he can read, some of it he can't
They lived in that ship. They were going on a mission for something. They made the grand relics to stop something. Theres a lot of notes on the planes.
Angus recognizes the way some stuff is redacted, and he kind of figures out that there must be another voidfish. And if the directors name was on one of those robes, maybe she has it.
Refuge mission comes and goes
Angus, cause he's so fucking good, is able to sneak back into lucretias personal quarters and finds junior. He fills a water bottle with the ichor and gets the fuck outta there
He gets back to his room, innoculates himself and is like AAAAAAAAAA
Cause he can finally put it all together properly
And he basically pieces together the whole hunger situation himself with the notes he grabbed
The stuff he grabbed from davenports room was the crew's like profiles or whatever from when they got hired on to the mission so angus now knows who lup is
So angus is like oh i GOTTA fix this
So he heads down to the reclaimers dorm with his bottle of ichor
Angus: i need you to drink this Merle: what is it? Angus: voidfish ichor Taako: *laughs* hate to break it to you kid, we already drank the voidfish juice. Angus: just- please? Magnus: yeah alright
So magnus drinks it. His breath catches and he kinda goes weak and he's shaking and he drops to his knees. After a minute or two (or more) he looks up at angus. "Holy shit," he says. He grabs the bottle from where he dropped it and holds it out to taako and merle. "Drink it." He says.
"Yeah alright," merle says. Same deal as with magnus.
Once merle collects himself, they both turn to taako.
"Yeah, alright. Sure. Let's get taako in on this weird party," he says, taking the bottle and drinking
This time, magnus is ready and he catches taako when his knees give out
"Im gonna fucking kill her," taako mumbles into magnus' shoulder, his knuckles white as he grips his shirt.
"You're not gonna kill her."
"Im gonna fucking hit her so HARD, i swear to god."
Taako keeps his face in magnus' shoulder, but magnus and merle watch as angus crosses the room to where taako had left the umbrastaff, and he walks back over to magnus and taako on the floor
"Sir?" Taako looks up at angus. Angus holds the umbrella out, "i think i know where your sister is."
(Lup, meanwhile, in the staff: HEEEEELLLLL YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)
It takes taako a second, but he realizes what angus is saying and scrambles out of magnus' hold and to his feet. He takes the umbrella and lifts it, about to snap it when angus says, "wait!"
Taako glares at him. "Ive waited ten years, kid. Make it snappy." "Madame director had a holy symbol in her office. I think it would ward against your sister, if shes a lich." "Uuugggggghhhhhhhhh LUCRETIAAAAAA"
The four of them go down planetside under the guise of a magic lesson and not wanting to burn any more "cryptic messages" into the walls
Taako snaps that fuckin umbrella as soon as his feet hit solid ground
Lup's back!
Lup does some magic shit to summon barry, so barold shows up, happy reunion, and then a Discussion on what to do re: davenport not being innoculated and re: lucretia
Their plan boils down to this: thb and angus will go back to the moon and act as if this never happened. As far as lucretia knows, thb are still under junior's influence
As soon as they can get davenport alone without rousing any suspicion, they bring him to their room and innoculate him. Once he's got his memories back, he'll be powerful enough to a) get his bracer off/disable the tracking spell in it and b) get off the base undetected
Davenport will definitely not want to go back to playing butler, so he'll sneak off the base and hang out with lup and barry until lucretia sends the boys to wonderland
When the boys get sent to wonderland, theyll meet up, get the bell all together, and THEN confront lucretia, cause at that point theyll have the whole light, and they'll have Options
So they do just that. They go back and innoculate davenport a few days later, a week at most
A panic ensues once everyone realizes davenport is missing
AND the tracking in his bracer is turning up nothing
Lucretia's blood pressure has never been higher
But everything goes as business per usual
Lucretia, oddly enough, suspects nothing re: the boys ‘cause surely they wouldve confronted her if they remembered
The boys get sent down to wonderland. They meet up with blupjeans and dav at the entrance. With the six of them with all their memories and full access to their skills they take edward and lydia down in like 30 minutes. Tops.
So edward and lydia get their asses thoroughly handed to them by the six of them
(Davenport has the time of his LIFE)
They head back to the lich cave, barry gets in his new body and gets innoculated (the boys brought some ichor with them for him)
Lup possesses barry, then barry-with-lup and dav get in the pocket spa and back up to the moon they go
Lucretia is in her office when avi comes knocking "Uh... director? The boys are coming back." "Already?" "Yeah." "Are you sure it's them?" "Yep."
Lucretia is.... stunned. It's been... an hour and a half. Two, maybe. She has full faith in the boys but they took down wonderland in two hours?????
Not even two hours
She goes to meet them, highly suspicious
But they arrive and, sure enough, it's them. No magic. No tricks. It's them, for sure.
taako has the bell and hes just holding it casually from the top as if it isnt one of the most powerful magic items in existence. And she can tell he isnt thralled, that's just how hes decided to transport it.
Lucretia: ive got to admit, you boys took care of that...much faster than i expected Magnus: ah, it was no big Merle: piece of cake! Taako: yeah, luce, shit was easy. Dunno what you were talkin' about earlier.
And lucretia just freezes. Luce. Thats what taako called her. It’s what they all called her, really, but it’s the nickname Taako took 4 whole cycles to give to her, officially cracking the door of friendship open to her. And she looks him in the eyes and she knows that he knows. And she looks at merle and magnus and she can tell they know, too.
And taako gives her a venomous smile, all teeth, and says, "why dont we go have a little chat, madame director" and she flinches at the way he spits out her title
She doesnt know what to do but nod and turn to leave. As she turns, there's angus, looking up at her with a determined set to his brow, and she knows he knows too
They head back to her office, and taako pulls the pocket spa out, and before lucretia can ask him what hes doing, out walks barry and davenport. And barrys eyes have got that red glow about them, so she knows lup's here too.
"Take down the lich ward, lucretia," barry says.
She does, and now there's a firey, red robed lich among them.
Now this is where things get a little iffy for how they work out but here's what i got
They have a similar confrontation as canon where theyre bickering about staying or going, shield or no shield, and im thinking this is where taako has his "there's a third option" realization
And, because they did extreme wonderland speedrun, and they didnt take a whole extra day to travel to the lich cave and just used fuckin magic to get there, theyre a whole day ahead of where they were in canon
The hunger is close enough at this point tho that they can enact the plan like. Now.
But magnus insists on returning Fisher's baby to them first
As magnus takes junior, lucretia works on getting the base secured and getting the bureau members ready for if the hunger touches down before they can cut it off
Magnus goes down to fisher with the baby, he takes his axe and swings, breaking the tank open
Johann, still alive and now soaking wet, is like dude wtf
Magnus returns the baby and out goes the story and song
Now johann is REALLY like DUDE WTF
Magnus is like im off to save the universe. Peace.
So since theyre a whole day ahead of the hunger, all seven of them go up in the ship
And then they fight and they win and they cut the hunger off and it's rad
The end
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cantdanceflynn · 3 years ago
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candace
HELL YEA!!!!!!!! I GOT ANNOYED AFTER LIKE THE FIFTH TIME I HAD TO DO THIS FOR EITHER ROXY OR NEPETA BUT I WILL NEVER EVER NOT LOVE CANDACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
favorite thing about them: idk dude everything about her is just the best!!!!!!!!! shes a lot like me, yea, but shes also so impossibly cool. and i know thats a whole point, this universe runs on the impossible, and regardless of personal challenges and emotions shes able to do these things, but still!!!!!!!!!!!!
least favorite thing about them: idk at this point. im so bad at coming up with stuff to dislike about characters i love so much
favorite line: im just gonna go with "The flying car of the future; today...... is pulling a bit to the right." again
brOTP: highly specific hcs and ones ive done already aside, isabella and her. they have this very special brand of "i care for you so much, but you remind me so much of myself and its terrifying to see everything i hate about myself laid out like that. even if you manage to still be the one of the coolest people i know by a lot
OTP: I got a name for them!!!!!!!!! Duckylove!!!!!!!! ya know, like puppy love! basically jeremy, stacy, and vanessa all dating her.
nOTP: uhhh besides obviously wrong ones............... uhhh in its own brand candessa. i love it obviously i ship it and all that but like. I do not like it being the default. at all. you have her wonderful relationship with jeremy ur just ignoring for this, and minus that, shes got a much more fleshed out, even if just friendship rn, relationship with stacy. i love candessa, it just shouldnt be the default relationship with candace ig
random headcanon: occasionally whens shes got a bunch of positive energy and nowhere to put it they'll move some stuff around in the basement and she can just put on some high energy very much gotten from her friends music, grab some non-sticky stim slime, and just run back and forth from one end of the basement to the other listening and singing along to some good music and playing with the slime until shes back down to normal energy levels. this can take anywhere from 30 seconds to at most(the day after summer belongs to you when everything hit her) to ten minutes. if she doesnt feel like singing, thats what the unbreakable ducky momo chew necklace is for. ive got so many hcs about how she stims honestly lol
unpopular opinion: i have none. as far as i know. shes an amazing character and i love her.
song i associate with them: Ship in a Bottle, Icicles, Rules, Half Caff, I could go on and on. Lists and lists!!!!!!
favorite picture of them: HER
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brelione · 4 years ago
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Jessies Girl (Pope X Reader X JJ)
Summary:Pope is crushing on JJ’s girl.
Pairings:JJXReader, Pope X Reader
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Warnings:Mentions of sex, swearing?
Jessie is a friend
Yeah, I know, he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl, and I wanna make her mine
Pope watched you and JJ cuddling up at the fire.You were sitting on his lap, his arms around your waist as he whispered into your ear, watching as you laughed at whatever stupid thing he was saying.
You looked over to JJ, raising an eyebrow.Pope frowned, knowing that he shouldnt feel this way.JJ was a friend, a good friend.But since you came along Pope found himself getting aggravated, shifting in his seat as he looked down at his root beer can.
You had kind of just showed up out of nowhere, a leather jacket over your bikini and a book in your hand on the beach one day.Of course everyone had taken a liking to you, especially JJ.Pope never stood a chance, JJ stealing you within three days.
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body
I just know it
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night
Your attention was on JJ, smiling as you watched him balance on a rock. “JJ!You’re gonna die!”You giggled, your hands in the pockets of your brown leather jacket.He smiled, jumping down.John.B had laughed too, shaking his head at the two of you.
JJ picked you up, carrying you on his back as the five of you headed for your destination.It was the one smooth part of the beach that didnt have a ton of small, sharp rocks.You guys set down your chairs, only bringing two and a blanket.
JJ held you against his chest, all of you sitting in a circle as you ate your sandwiches.Pope watched you, seeing how you were whispering into JJ’s ear, your knees on either side of his thigh.
Pope rolled his eyes, knowing that you were probably mumbling something filthy into JJ’s ear.He just wished he could be JJ in that moment.Once you guys were beginning to settle down you had gotten up, pulling off your shorts, slowly letting your jacket fall.
You were wearing a black bralette and high waisted black bikini bottoms, your locket dangling from your neck, the heart resting right between your breasts. “I feel like we should go swimming.”You told them, already heading for the water.
Pope felt his face heat up, smiling as he tugged off his shirt, watching as you ran into the water, laughing and shrieking at how cold it was.JJ ran in after you, pushing you into the cold waves.
You wrapped your arms around JJ’s neck, your lower halves hidden by the dark water as you kissed him.Pope didnt even want to imagine what the two of you were doing, knowing what was going on.Kie and John.B didnt pick up on it though, too busy splashing eachother.
You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman like that?
Pope couldnt do much about his feelings, confiding with Kie late at night. “You know, I wish that I had (Y/N).Where can I even find a girl like that?”He sighed, resting his head against the couch.She frowned, shrugging.
 “California, I guess.I wish that I had her too if im being honest, its not fair that JJ just swooped in.Do you think all California girls are like that?”She asked, trying not to daydream about it.Pope huffed, hearing the bed frame hitting the wall.
 “God, I hate them.”He grumbled.Kie laughed, sighing. “You gotta move on, Pope.I mean yeah, shes great and shes pretty and funny and creative and perfect but she’s JJ’s girlfriend.You cant just sit around being grumpy because you’re in love with her.Just be happy that JJ got to her first and not some kook.”She smiled, trying to cheer up the boy in front of her.
Pope sighed, looking over to her. “Yeah, yeah okay but no other girls are exactly like her.Shes the only one who’s ever made me feel like this.”He explained.After a few moments the shaking of the wall finally stopped, moans flowing through the air.
Pope held a pillow over his face. “I hate this.”He repeated.JJ opened the bedroom door, wearing only pajama pants as he made his way into John.B’s kitchen to get a can of soda, turning to see his friends awake. “Oh….hey guys.”He muttered, quickly going back into the room.The dim lighting didnt hide the scratches along JJ’s back and the marks on his neck. “Gross.”Kiara grumbled.
i'll play along with this charade
That doesn't seem to be a reason to change
You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot
Hiding his feelings was becoming difficult as your three month anniversary with JJ approached.He didnt see why it effected him so much, seeing you and JJ being so sweet with eachother.He felt so uncomfortable when you two started acting all cute together. 
“I love you.”You whispered into JJ’s ear, combing his hair with your fingers.He smiled, looking up at you. “Love you too.”He smiled, feeling you kiss his forehead.Pope was sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, hearing the whole thing as he tried to pay attention to the tv.
He rested his chin against his palm, feeling lonely as he saw you poking at JJ’s head while JJ tried to catch your wrist in the process.Pope wanted to tell you that he loved you, that he had his life with you fully planned out, that he loved you more than all the Marvel movies and that he wanted to make you the happiest person on earth.
But he knew that was a stupid idea, that you didnt feel the same.If you did feel the same you wouldnt be with JJ, you would be with him.But there would always be that part of him that ached to tell you his thoughts, to tell you everything he loved about you, to tell you everything he could.But that wasnt possible.
Cause she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body
I just know it
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night
Midsummers was a nightmare for more reasons than one.Kiara had invited you, taking you dress shopping.Your dress was a darker purple, the material reaching just above your knee, the top part was rather low cut.
Your eyes had been on JJ the whole time even when you were standing next to Pope while he tried to make conversation with you. “Um...i like your dress.”He muttered, hands in his pockets.
You raised an eyebrow, smiling. “Thanks, its so uncomfy though.”You laughed.He chuckled, calming a bit.He never really got the chance to talk to you alone. “I mean, at least you wont have to stay in it for that long.You guys just have to stay until after the speech or whatever, right?”He asked.You nodded, looking into the crowd of people for your boyfriend. 
“So how’s the food and stuff?Im not really allowed to leave this general area.”He gestured to a single patch of grass.You giggled, sighing. “I dont know, they probably poisoned it or something.THey’re demons, Pope.You gotta do an exorcism.”You grinned.
He smiled, biting his lip. “Yeah, let me just grab my bible.”He reached into his pocket, pulling out a tiny piece of paper. “Perfect.”He smiled at the sound of your laughter, proud of himself. “Wow, we better hurry up before the demon comes out of Ward and attacks one of us!Look!His wife has the devil horns!”You gasped, pointing over at Rose.
He smiled. “Wow, im so rich and my botox was 50% off!Im better than you!”He made his voice high pitched, watching as Rose talked.You laughed, watching Ward. “My breast implants were only three million!But it fell out in my bath tub!”You made your voice deep, laughing when Pope snorted.
A few people looked over, the two of you turning around. “Oh my god-watch us get kicked out.”You looked over your shoulder, grinning when you saw JJ. “Hey, im gonna go talk to JJ.I’ll catch up with you later.”You smiled, giving him a quick wave before heading to see your boyfriend.Pope sighed, watching as JJ embraced you in a tight hug.He was funny to think that he would ever even have a chance.
You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman like that?
Like Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman...
Where can I find a woman like that?
As the five of you made your exit, JJ had picked you up and spun you around. “Later, Losers!”You shouted, making an L on your forehead and sticking out your tongue before you guys ran off.Pope smiled, amused.The way you could switch between soft and sweet and tough and reckless was something that never failed to amaze him.
He sat as close to you as possible at the fire, looking at your hand that held JJ’s, frowning.Kie glanced at him, shrugging slightly. “Pope, you failed the exorcism.Im disappointed in you.”You told him, grinning when you made him smile. “Sorry, Captain.”He replied, chuckling when you got flustered by the nickname.JJ’s forehead wrinkled a bit, not understanding the joke.
 “Did I miss something?”He asked.You shook your head. “No, babe.Just an inside joke.”You winked at Pope, grinning at JJ’s confused face. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”You told him.
Part of Pope was glad that you felt comfortable joking around with him, excited that he had his own inside joke with you while the other part of him just wished you’d ignore him entirely so he wouldnt have any hope of being with you.He didnt even know what he wanted anymore, the one thing he was certain of was that he wanted you.
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time
Wonderin' what she don't see in me
I've been funny; I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?
That night Pope had stared at himself in the mirror of John.B’s bathroom.He pulled at his hair, trying to figure out if that was the problem.Was it too long?Too short?Were his eyes too dark?Was his smile not nice enough?What did you see in JJ that you couldnt see in him?
He was basically just a watered down JJ with rational thoughts, good grades and better logic skills.He had gotten you to laugh all night at midsummers, making you smile, making you happy.He had been pretty cool with his jokes, saying them at just the right time.
He had read plenty of romance novels in private, observing the traits of healthy and toxic relationships.This was always how it went, the guy would make the girl happy and make her laugh and then eventually they would fall in love.Isnt that how love is supposed to be?
@outerbongs​  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @rae131415  @popeheywards @nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland  @yuxsh06   @ifilwtmfc  @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67  @poguestyleskye @judayyyw  @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98 @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx  @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100  @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @purple-vodka-99 @annmariek8 @harryswigss @imagines-07 @pink-meringues
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elliottexists · 3 years ago
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My personal experience with an autistic shutdown
So yesterday i went on a school trip to a theatre to watch some people give lectures. There was alot going on for example people were talking, moving, opening food wrappers etc and that was incredibly overwhelming for me and caused me to have a sensory overload in the theatre. I was crying and feeling generally very uncomfortable and i needed to get away to go somewhere safe and quiet but there was no where i could. (Public toilets make me incredibly uncomfortable too so that wouldnt have helped)
When the talks finished, we had to leave the theatre but that meant huge crowds of school children (there were other schools there aswell) pushing and rushing through and i was being pushed and touched way more than i was comfortable with and at this point i was crying and shaking but i had to move through to get on the coach. Luckily, i had a really good friend with me who recognised i was feeling this way and stayed with me so i could just follow them and im very grateful for that because if they werent there i wouldve ended up curled up on the floor and getting trampled by teenagers.
We got on the coach and i was in a very bad place to have a shutdown. I was already finding it difficult to speak but i had to answer to a register and it took so much effort just to say "here".
After that i just broke down. I was crying and breathing incredibly heavily. I couldnt move or talk or focus on anything and i felt stuck inside myself. I was extremely scared something was gonna happen to me and i wouldnt be able to protect myself from it. Im so glad the 2 people next to me were my friends and were also neurodivergent and - even if they didnt know exactly what to do - they knew what not to do and so i felt alot safer with them. But because we were on a coach, i wasnt allowed to undo my seatbelt which was very tight, i couldnt get any fresh air, the lights were very bright, everyone was talking very loudly around me, there were people opening sweet packets, people were shouting and singing, the whole coach was vibrating as it was moving and there was no where i could get up and move to to get away from everything. It was a horrible experience thats never happened to me before, at least not to that extent.
I was unable to speak for most of the 3 hour journey back to school but after one of my friends reccomended i put my headphones on and listen to my music, i began to calm down and come out of the shutdown but not fully. I began to be able to respond to my friends through nodding and gestures and writing stuff down but not speaking and i was able to move and stim again. My friends played a huge part in making me safe in that moment because i know that if i was with people who didnt understand what was going on, they mightve asked me lots of questions or tried to touch/hug me which wouldve made everything increasingly worse. This is why there needs to be much more education on autism and what should and shouldnt be done if you are around an autistic person while they are having a shutdown.
But autistic shutdowns dont just end when you become more able to function and come out of the actual shutdown. Having a shutdown made me extremely exhausted and burnt out. I felt unmotivated to do anything and i still do even though its the next day. Im glad it is now the weekend and not another school day because i need today to recover from that experience yesterday.
i want there to be more education about what can be done to help someone having a shutdown or prevent the shutdown in the first place. Not all autistic people will have the same experience as me but i wanted to share mine to spread awareness. (apologies if i phrases anything wrong)
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dropoutparty · 3 years ago
Text
ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5
here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:
tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3
ok lets get on with the post
at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.
now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.
after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).
anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.
zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!
the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.
now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.
NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.
its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,
anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.
anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).
moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.
gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).
anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!
now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!
anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!
the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.
as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!
basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago
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party planning committee marcus moreno x reader
+++++++++
this is a story in four parts, youll see what i mean when you read it but i wasnt exactly sure how i wanted to do this at first and thats just sort of what i landed on. but i think it kind of works.
He asks for your help to plan missy's birthday party since he still really has no idea how to do the whole girl party thing
Song: island in the sun by weezer
tag list: @cynic-spirit
+++++++++
i moved to knock on the door when i heard a loud crashing sound, startling me. i knocked quickly and loudly after that, waiting for a moment before opening the door.
"marcus?!"
i yelled, looking around the living room.
"missy?"
i asked, stepping further into the house. when i made it to the kitchen i sighed in relief, my hand going to my chest as i saw marcus stood over the sink with a mixing bowl in his hand, a few other stainless steel appliances strewn about.
"marcus?"
i asked lightly and he jumped, looking to me and breathing deeply.
"jesus y/n, you scared me."
he said shaking his head. i walked closer to the counter.
"i knocked but i heard a loud noise and got worried. im just glad to see youre not hurt."
i stated, turning one of the bowls upright. he shook his head.
"well my pride is a little hurt but im glad youre looking out for me."
he said, looking from me to the paper sat on the counter. i furrowed my brows, looking over the island to see what it was. i laughed when i realized he was trying to make a cake.
"marcus what are you doing?"
i asked, picking it up and shaking the flower off of it. he sent me a bashful smile.
"well, i was trying to make a cake for missy's birthday but i guess that ship sailed a while ago."
he said, looking around to the mess he had worked so hard on. i shook my head, waving my hand in the air and everything picking itself back upright, the empty bowls stacking together and the powders on the counter making their way into a pile.
"here, let me help."
°°°°°°°°°
"Okay, now that the cake is done, what else did you need help with?"
I asked, wiping my hands on the kitchen towel and looking to him expectantly. He sighed.
"All of it actually."
He said, shaking his head and walking to the table. I raised a brow and followed him.
"Marcus you make it sound like you've never had a birthday party for missy before."
I said with a laugh and he sent me a look, turning his datapad on.
"I know but I never did any of this, it was always her mom. And last year be both just agreed on no party, just take time to be together instead."
I nodded as I sat beside him.
"I know how much you both miss her, hell I find myself missing her sometimes too. She really was the best part of the team, even without powers."
I lamented, looking to my hands now folded in front of me on the table.
"I just wish things were easier."
He said and I nodded in agreement.
"I'm sure they'll get there, one day at a time. But you gotta work at it, like today. You've already successfully made a cake."
I pointed out and he laughed.
"Yeah, and without your help that probably would've ended very badly."
I laughed too, shaking my head.
"Baking really isn't for everyone."
I said and he side nodded, opening a planning sheet in his tablet.
"You can say that again."
He mumbled, turning it to show me.
"This is what I have so far, and everything she wanted."
He said and I nodded, reading through it.
"This is her twelfth birthday, and she's finally made more friends, thanks to the heroics program. I just want this to be a special one for her."
He said and I sent him a small smile.
"So, did she give you this invite list, or did you make it yourself?"
I asked and he looked at me funny.
"Both?"
He asked and I laughed a little bit.
"Okay, that's good, I guess. Cause it's her party so you want to make sure you're inviting people she likes to talk to and hang out with."
He nodded in understanding.
"Right. I did run it by her but i sent the cards out already, time wasnt really on my side for this one."
He said bashfully and I nodded once.
"thats Okay, it looks like you at least have a theme done. That's good. List of essentials. Oh okay. now let's look at what you have planned."
I scrolled down and stopped, sending him a look. So far he just had 'sleepover?' he let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck.
"A sleepover?"
I asked and he shrugged, slouching a little defeated.
"Yeah I don't know. It just seemed like a good idea. She used to have them all the time. But again, I never really did any of that stuff."
I nodded, tapping the screen and deleting his idea.
"Here, how about this: a pool party. I know you're a master of the grill, you could invite all the heroic kids and their parents over and have a barbeque. The kids can swim. It'll be a good time."
I suggested and he nodded, a wide smile on his face.
"That actually sounds like a really good idea y/n."
He said and I sent him a knowing smile.
"we can run that by missy too, just to make sure, we only have a few days after all and we need time to notify the guests that weve changed things."
°°°°°°°°°
when the big day finally came i was awoken from my spot on the couch to missy jumping down the stairs excitedly, a wide smile across her face as she dug in the fridge for something for breakfast. i had spent the night to help marcus decorate and was definitely regretting staying up as late as we did.
"morning."
she said in a chipper tone and i offered her a smile as i sat up.
"morning."
i said a little groggy, looking back over to the stairs as marcus trudged down them too, a tired look on his face.
"morning."
he groaned, going straight to the coffee pot and pouring a cup. i laughed a little at him as i stood up, stretching out.
"ready to get cooking?"
i asked, pulling my sweater on. i hadnt expected to sleep over so i was still in the clothes i had worn over. he just sent me a look, missy eating at the table now and nodding quickly.
"why did we make this thing for one oclock again?"
he asked playfully and missy sent him a look.
"youre the one who agreed to the pool party."
she pointed out and he made an 'o' shape with his mouth, making missy and i both laugh as i joined her at the table.
"alright, let me go get dressed and then we will start cooking."
°°°°°°°°°
when the party was finally over and everything was cleaned up i looked to marcus, drying the last of the dishes and putting them away quietly.
"what ya thinking about?"
i asked, leaning into the island and watching him intently. he frowned at me for a second.
"do you think she really had fun today?"
he said, looking over to the couch. after all the guests had left missy had showered and changed, and after having aloe applied generously to her sunburnt face, fell into a deep sleep sitting on the couch. i smiled, remembering what she had said to me earlier when she came in to get a drink.
"well considering she thanked earlier for making her birthday a special one for both of you im gonna go with yes."
i said, him finally smiling back at me as he put the last dish away.
"she really said that?"
he asked and i nodded.
"it was mentioned."
he sent me a look.
"she had said that not only was she having fun, but she was just happy to see you enjoying yourself again too. all the heroics laughing and having a good time next to their kids also having a good time; you really made a difference today."
he shook his head.
"okay, and what about you?"
i raised a brow.
"what about me?"
"did you have a good time today?"
he asked pointedly and i sighed out a laugh.
"yes Marcus, i had a very good time today."
i confirmed and he nodded once.
"good, because i would feel so bad if you hadnt. youve helped me so much here lately, i think you deserve it the most out of all of us."
i shook my head at him amused.
"thanks, but i doubt that."
he swallowed hard, furrowing his brows.
"no no don't say that, you work twice as hard as the rest of us. i just wish you could see that."
i looked to the ceiling for a moment before standing up and stretching.
"well if thats true then i think i deserve some sleep. though it has been fun, it has been one long day."
he nodded once.
"want to stay the night again? you can sleep upstairs in my room tonight if you want, i think missy has kind of taken over your spot."
he said with a laugh.
"i probably shouldnt, i need to get home, i gotta get my mail water my plants, all that jazz."
he watched me with a light gaze as i gathered up my things.
"well, im glad you could come over. and if you want to come back tomorrow for lunch-"
"id love that marcus."
i said and he smiled at me, a small blush visibly rising to his face.
"its a date?"
he asked, walking to the door with me. i thought for a second and nodded.
"yeah, its a date."
i said, his smile getting wider as i stepped outside.
"ill text you what time ill be over."
"ill be waiting."
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yomiurinikei · 4 years ago
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every day i think about u saying "word of god from unreliable sources shouldn’t be used to ignore canon?????? hello????????????????" and ever since have wanted you to pop off about that in more detail
its 2:26 am rn but this has been sitting in my inbox for a while and i feel vv bad anon, so! (Note: Please if you disagree with anything said here, message me to discuss it, or send an ask telling me the canon material which proves me as wrong (or just say u disagree but b nice and dont tell me im wrong, like back urself up if ur gonna say that) but dont just. vague me/repost my stuff) also under a keep reading because it got long
“word of god from unreliable sources shouldn’t be used to ignore canon” = linuj giving a chart which puts the CoU as younger than the Kisaragi foundation, which was given out by the Eng dub server which has consciously spread misinfo before (see: the rumor about sora being confirmed as straight) while saying it was from linuj, shouldnt be used as a reason to ignore the line in chapter 6 which confirms that the CoU were high schoolers. (a note from later in the post: whenever i say kisaragi foundation, i mean rei teruya and tsurugi)
to break that down some: no one in sdra2 has a confirmed age. we can try to use the knowledge we have from dra translations, and then use math and estimates, but even then, we cant confirm the dra cast as being born in a certain year, which is relevant i promise. the closest we have is a drawing of setsuka in her 30s, but it’s not stated if that’s how old she is - in fact, if it were, then why not call it a drawing of adult setsuka? i also think shinji states his age in yuukis ideal fantasy but knowing he’s the oldest just gives us a max limit for how old the others can be. So we know, based off the chart, that the CoU are “around the same age as, but slightly younger than” the kisa foundation. i think specificially, it’s that they’re in the same general age range, which in my post i said was >5 years of difference, iirc, but please check that post for precise info on that.
but moving on to the next bit: the engdub server hasn’t been reliable (and i mean this with no hate or discontent towards anyone there, though i do have issue with some of the morals of mods there + how that situation was handled) when it comes to giving information released “from linuj” while the western fandom was going through some bit of mass drama. i don’t believe i was really involved/aware of/around when the rumors about sora being straight were going around, however; while i know the age twist was more dramatic than that whole situation, wouldn’t that be more incentive to release placating information to calm down the fandom? people were discussing leaving/losing interest in sdra2 after the age twist/chapter 6 in general, which gives a nice carryover to our next thing
Linuj consistently releases information that does nothing for canon except contradict it, and he does this on his site, not adding it into the game itself. If something cannot be determined from ingame material, then it is considered word of god. this is different from a creator confirming something implied, this is when a creator adds in something entirely new, with the most well known example i can thing of being JK Rowling calling Dumbledore gay after the series completion. it’s something not explicitly shown in canon, it is something not hinted at or implied in canon, it’s something stated after canon was finished - and even worse, it directly conflicts canon. Linuj has added things into the game to pander into fans jokes and desires, and is aware of what happens in the western fandom when it comes to major things. He’d know about the panic and discontent with the age twist, so assuming the chart was real, it’s still word of god that contradicts canon and was likely created to pacify fans who were upset and planned on ditching sdra2
my final main point: about how it conflicts with canon. i cant recall exactly when, and i’d have to go back through the ch 6 streams to find out (which i will do if necessary, but its now 2:56 am and im hoping people will just respectfully disagree + streams so long...) but it is stated, in chapter 6, as a relevant piece of information, that the children of utsuro were high schoolers while the game happened. additionally, we know that linuj gives the DRA cast different designs compared to when they were high schoolers and how old they are in sdra2, so considering that the CoU have the same design out of simulation, should show that they’re high schoolers, at a similar age, but still younger than, the kisa foundation trio, who are at an unknown age. i wrote out a bit about how the chart can coexist with canon but im making it the tl;dr instead
and none of this is to say you have to denounce any concept where the CoU are adults! you can have your aus, you can have old theories which you follow more than canon (*cough cough* rip mastermind kinjo*)! the reason i made that comment is because i was tired of people using unreliable word of god to discourage others who followed explicit canon material. we know from the main canon games, and it is not contradicted or disproven by any canon material (the series is complete) that the CoU are high schoolers. so yeah use the age chart for who you think is older than who, make content of the CoU where they’re adults, whatever. but acknowledge all of the flaws and inconsistencies with something not canon to the game, which contradicts the game, and don’t use it to attack people who follow the game
TL;DR the unreliable chart which was released post-canon from someone known for playing into fans wants, can even coexist with the canon knowledge that they’re high schoolers, but it shouldn’t be used to say that they’re adults when it doesn’t say that.
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autisticangus · 4 years ago
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anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys
i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life
if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit
as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!
Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!
These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.
Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 
He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.
he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on
/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 
i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.
things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 
so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.
one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.
i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.
i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.
its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.
and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them
and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.
when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.
and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.
i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.
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huntsman-ash · 4 years ago
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RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts
And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.
Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?
Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.
And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now. 
Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?
Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?
If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.
And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.
But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.
Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.
Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally.  Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.
Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)
A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.
Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.
Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn. 
Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.
The music sounds like a boss fight.
The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is. 
Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?
Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human
Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.
Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?
Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...
Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...
What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.
Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.
And there goes the dropwall. Woops.
Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.
Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost.  Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.
I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD
Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all. 
Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is. 
Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here. 
Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.
Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.
Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...
I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.
Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.
Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.
Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands. 
I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...
Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.
Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.
I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT. 
Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.
Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.
Yangs got a point.
Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale. 
SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT. 
...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.
Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction 
It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually. 
Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.
Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.
Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.
Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...
Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.
...Im not impressed.
She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.
HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology. 
At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.
More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.
NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.
More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.
I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.
Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.
I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me. 
Get fucked, Cinder.
And THERE is Cortana again too.
Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.
Wait the whale’s that close?
..oh my...hold on.
...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!
12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?
ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.
...
No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...
...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you
THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU  OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.
Emerald stop simpin.
Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before. 
Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.
Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.
Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?
And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too. 
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hey-hamlet · 5 years ago
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BNHA AU Ideas: Power Transfer
Also on AO3!
TL;DR: 
One for all is a power that has been passed down for generations. Turns out the most recent generation can afford to be a whole lot more liberal with his sharing. Also turns out sharing quirks runs in the family.
An AU where Izuku can share OFA full cowling with multiple people at once.
shared power ofa,
izuku giving aizawa 5% of one for all durring the usj or izuku giving toshinori 99% of OFA durring the last fight
cause consider the world never finding out about small might, all might retires but izuku knows
the rescue team all having the max amount of ofa they can use, which is around 2% each, cause a lil sparking team of heroes
izuku using kirishima to give bakugo some too n them using it to get away
izuku having two quirks is my favourite goddamn thing bc him being able to share his quirk but not having anything to share is great
he gives bits to allmight, like a constant 1% so he can teach classes and do press stuff
some rando wants to do an "all might" where is he now segment and it spans a good few months so izuku is continuously in the background just
conspiracy theory starts that izuku is a villain or allmights son
a villain and all might's son
izuku has no double toe joint but the doc cant find any evidence of a quirk? so he tells them izuku is either quirkless or has an invisible quirk. something subtle, or specific enough to have not activated by now
bakugo kinda,, is chill with izuku. he was waiting for izuku to develop a quirk till he judged him, but he never did so he kinda withheld judgement long enough for them to become decent friends
anyway, izuku likes to ramble about different things his quirk could technically be, bakugo likes to join in. they can go at this for h o u r s cackling about stupid hypotheticals
they workout together, they both do boxing and try out random moves they see on the internet on each other. they have a pile of gym mats in the woods like the weirdos they are
bakugo is like,, convinced izuku's quirk is actually an intellect up but he just shrugs
izuku has to grab something before he heads home so he takes the underpass and we get basically episode 1 from there. all might says no, the villain gets away, attacks Bakugo. izuku runs in, throws dust in the villain's eyes and pulls at bakugo's hands. all might jumps in, saves the day yada yada
some background for u about all might bc his past is a touch different here. during the battle with afo, afo was distracted. all might sustained the same injures but won more easily.
night eye never looks into his future because "my purpose is done, nighteye. let's live like everyone else, no fate of the world on our shoulders" he never looks into all mights future again at his request
they stay together
so instead of the big argument they go get ramen and get drunk because they don't have to be superhuman anymore, they can relax now
back to the main timeline-
so izuku is already fit, cleans the beach in 8 months, nighteye supervises
all might gives izuku the quirk 2 months before the entrance exam, nighteye is there to "oversee" (he wants to see izuku choke on a hair and laugh at this kid hes become pretty fond of)
also mirio! is izuku's bro because i love he
izuku eats the hair and gets the quirk like, instantly which?? is confusing nighteye and all might. nighteye has like,,, hidden behind a car because hes the only person with self-preservation
allmight touches izuku and the lightning climbs up his arm and he just pOofs out into swolmight. hes ShooK, so is izuku
anyway, he manages to turn it off and izuku is just standing there like "oh my god what the fuck"
"izuku,, what,, happened there"
",,,, one for all??? leaked out??? into allmight????"
...
"nighteye come over here."
"izukU nO"
"STAND STILL NIGHTEYE I JUST NEED TO TRY SOMETHING"
nighteye is forcibly given a little of ofa and regrets a lot of stuff
anyway, izuku breaks an arm trying to use ofa and hes muttering trying to work out how to use it, nighteye basically says "well, think back to how ofa came about" and izuku is like ",,, what"
and nighteye screams because TOSHI YOU DIDNT TELL HIM?????? and allmight ",,, o o p s"
so izuku gets to hear the story of all for one while hes being driven to UA for recovery girl hes,,, really quiet for a second
"when did you fight him?"
"six years ago, april?"
",,, this has to be a coincidence"
hisashi went out on a "business trip" 6 years ago and they haven't seen him since. he calls, but hes never visited and izuku has this terrible feeling
because izuku cant calm down and because nighteye thinks this kid might be on to something they call tsukauchi and he agrees to meet them at UA
izuku gets treated, naomasa is in v quickly afterwards before he calls his dad he turns to nighteye, allmight and Naomasa
"i've never been able to lie to my dad. i thought he was just really good at reading me but,,"
"if hes afo he might have a quirk"
"yeah. so i'll just twist the truth. im good at that, but thats all i'll be able to do"
anyway, he calls up his dad and slaps this big grin on his face. the phone is on speaker
"hey dad!!!!" "izuku! is something wrong?"
"oi, cant i call my dad for no reason?"
"you, willingly calling someone? dont make me laugh"
izuku giggles despite himself
"anyway, you'll never guess!!"
"did youuuu,,,, hmmmm, meet all might?"
they freeze but izuku just laughs
"yeah,, but thats not the most exciting thing!!! my quirk came in finally"
"oh?"
"yeah! imagine the worlds most basic power enhancer, but i can share the energy! you have any idea where that could have come from?"
"no! i can't think of anyone in our family with a quirk like that! sounds crazy!"
naomasa looks grin, and mouths "liar"
izuku pales but keeps his smile
"do you think you could visit, id love to show you!! oh, maybe we could test it together! you always had the best ideas for my quirk notes"
"id love to izuku, but im stuck in america for the near future, you know it is. i'll see what i can do tho, ok champ?"
naomasa shakes his head again "lying" izuku looks like hes going to be sick. nighteye is pale, all might looks stunned. izuku grits his teeth but his voice is still light and happy
"i'm gonna make it into UA so you can watch me kick butt from america! you better cheer me on!"
"im looking forward to it. say hi to your mother from me."
naomasa nods. hes telling the truth. that makes nighteye feel the sickest
"love you izuku"
",,, love you too dad"
izuku hangs up the phone and retches into the bin. nighteye is shaking. all might storms out. naomasa punches the wall
izuku looks up with tears in his eyes
",,, does my mum know?"
nighteye wants to cry
"i dont know kid"
izuku tells katuski that his quirk finally came in! but,,, in the worlds biggest mess of a way
basically hes lying in bed, trying to work out why he can't use it without breaking bones but the people he shares it with can, he bolts upright
"POWER MODULATION OH MY GOD"
he runs out his door all the way to bakugos house and climbs in through his window, grabbing a sleeping bakugo by the shoulders
"KACCHAN ITS POWER MODULATION"
"IZuKU whAt tHE fuCK"
"my quirk!!! i was breaking bones because i wasnt modulating it!!!"
",,,,q QUiRK/???/?"
",,,, oh yeah oops"
mitsuki runs in with a frying pan ready to murder a villain but its just izuku
"carry on"
izuku doesnt tell him its ofa but he explains his quirk has finally showed up, bakugo asks him if hes registered it yet
",,,noooooo"
"wait what? you, breaking the law? mister "i cant kill an ant because all might himself will call me a villain""
izuku, w the most shit-eating grin, explains that you only legaly have to register your quirk when it shows up, or after you are tested when you are five, whichever happens first so, legally, he doesnt need to register because it would be seen as voluntary updating
cut to the enterance exam
aizawa is holding the papers for the kids hes observing right then
"quirkless? that kid doesn't look quirkless"
and yagi sighs
"of course he didnt,,,"
"all might? do you know him?"
"NO NO IDEA WHO MID- THAT YOUNG CHILD IS"
",,,, r i g h t"
“aizawa listen i have never seen young midoriya in my life ever”
basically, izuku is hiding the "transfer" part of his power from most people bc hes stubborn and thinks it could be useful
also,,, in this au shinso makes it in on hero points thanks
bakugo is about to rush the 0 pointer but shinso can see its going to fall on him shinsou yells
"HEY FUCK FACE"
"HA-"
"MOVE MOVE MOVE GET OVER HERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING DIE OH MY GOD MOVE I DONT WANT TO SEE SOMEONE DIE TODAY"
shinsou and bakugou are the type of friends that flat out have no love for each other but would punch anyone who says anything bad abt the other. like shinsou walks into school and bakugou s just
“dammit i thought u fucking died smh”
“i wish i did then i wouldn’t have to look at ur ugly ass”
in this au shinso and izuku bond when they are standing outside they door bc izuku looks like hes gonna fucking cry hes so scared and shinsou is like "wow big mood"
shinso is not shinson in this au! bc izuku is gonna do a soft
basically, quirk test? shinsou is s w e a t i n g bakugo looks a little worried for his new friend but no one would notice if they weren’t izuku
shinsou turns to him like "my quirk is mental im going to fa I L"
izuku grabs his hand and he feels this rush of energy, you can almost see it dancing along his skin. izuku grins
"i think you'll find you do just fine"
(izuku gave him like,, less than a full 1% but hes like doubled in strength and speed and hes??? shook?? bc whats happening)
aizawa is lost bc shinso has a mental quirk he shouldnt be doing this well, so he tries to cancel it
nothing happens and aizawa is so lost??? bc shinsou is kinda reedy and not super fit but hes placing solidly in the middle
and he noticing that shinso’s eyes seem to be glowing and so are they eyes of the kid coming in second and gives a big "hm,mmmm"
anyway, ball pitch, he cancels izukus quirk and turns to look at shinso, his eyes are dim. izuku looks sheepish but also like hes ready to throw down and its an interesting look
aizawa just sighs "you know what? just throw the ball."
izuku g r i n s and yeets it into next year using more of his quirk than he like,, really should have? to prove a point (his finger is bruised, not broken. he used 25%)
anyway aizawa shows the results, shinso is in the middle, izuku second, hagakure is last and sadly shes not getting expelled bc plot reasons – im sorry I have a thing against her shes perfectly valid probably im just still convinced shes the traitor even tho its totally a teacher
he calls izuku out on it but does admit he didnt say you couldnt help eachother, so its kind on him. shinso looks like hes going to pass out with relief
Hagekure is the traitor in this au though, 100%
during the camp she is at the pick up zone, hiding. izuku pulls bakugo out of the way, they all seem safe
but
she pushes izuku in through the portal as it closes
fyi afo takes her quirk and leaves her braindead in the nomu factory bc shes not useful anymore. also because now he needs to have a really awkward conversation with his son he was hoping to avoid
also usj? is really melodramatic
he gives aizawa 4% which is the max nighteye could hold without it hurting
aizawa takes a hit from the nomu and he reaches out his hand
izuku cries as he gives him an extra 4% and aizawa gets free but he can see bruises forming with every step his teacher takes
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heizerux · 6 years ago
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About Stormy Weather 2
Let’s cut to the chase. This was a filler/recap episode.
Is it disappointing? Yes 😞
They did my girl Aurore wrong with the episode title and not even giving her the attention she deserves. And about nothing new happened. Chloe still hasn’t learned to actually be better. There’s more. But those are about a few things that REALLY got to me (to be brief).
Is it bad that they even have this episode? Not exactly. It just wasn’t done well.
Now that I’ve briefly got out of my system on why I was disappointed, now let’s look at the details and minor brightsides of it (I guess?) and more on why I’m disappointed.
.
This was an episode to establish the questions we’ve had. (Honestly did we even need these? Actually, not really. But it’s nice they even bothered.) Some of these questions are:
How’s Aurore?
Is Chloe really fully changed?
How does Nathalie REALLY feel? Like with her own words? How LONG has she been with the Agrestes? And will Gabriel keep this shit up?
How’s the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir now since they’ve been fighting for a while?
How’s everyone else (Alya and Nino specifically) doing?
Will Marinette ever tell Adrien that she’s interested in him?
Will Adrien pick up on that???
Pretty much here’s how they answered these, as well as what I took from these answers:
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How’s Aurore? Naturally I’m gonna open up with Aurore here since this was supposed to be HER episode again. We see her being bullied by Chloe and then she get it’s gets to her. THAT’S how Aurore is doing. The only few things I liked about her here is learning she and Marinette are friends. But that’s IT. This could have been HER moment. HER episode again. We could of known more about HER. Instead what do we get? Just like 3 minutes tops of her and boom. Defeated, and not even checked up on. I know she’s a side misc character but damnit *slaps table*. . . We really were cheated with her comeback. This wasn’t her episode and it shouldn’t have been titled “Stormy Weather 2”. I’m sad about this.
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Is Chloe really fully changed? Nope. So I knew her development wasn’t even started yet (as we’ve seen), but like damn. We see how being hero twice has gotten to her head. It’s disappointing, it really is. The only “bright side” is that at least they’re establishing here that she clearly still has changing to do instead of saying she’s fully changed, which she isn’t. Probably even alluding to what we’re gonna see next with her. Obviously by that last glare, Marinette (as Ladybug) isn’t giving into her shit anymore. (That or she’s disappointed in how Chloe doubled back too.)
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How does Nathalie REALLY feel? And so we see. She, as expected, hates her fucking job because it’s too demanding, but LOVES the Agreste family. We now, with her own words, which are rare, learn just how long she’s been with them, her feelings for the family, and that she canonically cared for Emilie and has now fallen for Gabriel. She’s also still sick from Heroes Day (so they didn’t forget that’s a thing, thankfully). Which now only implies that from this point forward, she’ll be Mayura more often, and get even sicker (a life for a life, anyone?)
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How’s everyone else doing? That Ninalya (Djwifi) content. . . My heart! 💕💖💕💖😭💖💕💖💕 So they show us Nino is pretty much now a Césaire (lol), and that they both do talk about their hero duties when they’re alone. The good in seeing this? They can actually keep it a secret from the public and this shows their hero potential (unlike Chloe). The bad about it? It’s their disadvantage (as we already know.) Now what we didn’t need is all that recap footage. (That time slot could have been used for my bby Aurore 💜💙💜)
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How’s the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir now since they’ve been fighting for a while? Well :) (Filler aside) We see that Ladybug is A LOT more fonder of Chat Noir than before. This time she’s loosening up her humor during battle when she used to be all “stop joking! This is serious!” Then they go on to recap on shit that we already know like that they trust each other and *yawn*. But one thing I did notice, and like about this, is that look she gives him as he runs off.
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It’s almost a look of that says “I’m starting to view you as more than a partner. . .” (Will they show it in the following episodes. Boy do I hope.)
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Will Marinette ever tell Adrien that she’s interested in him? Okay so not only does she drop off Adrien’s homework, but you notice something? Not only did she volunteer, but she didn’t fluster while doing so. When she delivers it, she’s not panicked about it, instead she’s just nervous about talking to Nathalie and disappointed she couldn’t give it to him in person. Then what happens next? She FINALLY takes Kagami’s advice and does something. Once she’s done, she’s not regretful and doubtful about it anymore when she used to be. Sure, we went over shit that marks she “changed”, but it’s really around this part in the episode that she ACTUALLY changes. From here she’s a new confident Marinette, pretty much. The recap was still unecessary.
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Will Adrien pick up on that??? *sigh* no lol.
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Okay, real quick, BIG APPRECIATION for Plagg’s “Oh shit” face when he sees Adrien notices the handwriting.
So into Adrien and his love life, we see that his head is too in the clouds to fully notice the amazing girl that is MARINETTE. I will say I love that Plagg keeps trying to steer him in the direction to LOOK AT MARINETTE. (Mentioning how Gabriel wasn’t mad Adrien was with her when he snuck out and hinting that she’s VERY available more than once.) When he finally notices the handwriting, he’s SO close to putting it together. Plagg for a sec is shook about it (since it hints he’s closer to piecing she’s LB), but then he re-tracts because he’s a clueless child and now is left on the conclusion that it’s not her. Okay -_-
So now that that’s done, let me just add on why I think that last part where he retracts marks something.
.
Anyone find it odd that the episode ended specifically with Adrien noting that “Marinette couldn’t have written the letter (can’t be in love with me) because she’s just a friend that’s into fashion. Besides there’s Luka.”
Luka. . .
. . .
You guys hear that?
Right as soon as he says that, sad music plays. Like he “lost” something.
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Then Adrien as if slightly disappointed, insists it was probably “someone else”. . . Because there’s Luka. . .
And then the episode ends.
(My own thought: I think this is here to mark off that not only Luka is coming more into play, but maybe that it’ll affect Adrien more than he thinks? It may be that his change to come is that he stops looking “up in the clouds” and starts looking in front of him.)
.
haaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!
.
And that’s about one of the few things that got me in this episode (among Nino and Alya and Mari getting confident for once). Because it means shits gonna get interesting among the ships👀. . . *sips tea*
.
I’d touch the development issue but after carefully going over the fact that both season 2 and 3 were written around the same time, I do have a hunch stuff is kind of out of order there. But that’s a topic for another day. (Probably one I’ll rethink and retouch fully after this season is done.) So let’s get back to the real question:
So wtf was this episode?
.
Well, this is just my take, but judging by the brief glances at Stormy Weather 2’s LEVEL of power, it’s there to set what we’re gonna be seeing from the episodes forward. If this looks intense, then we haven’t seen intense, yet (ya feel?)
.
For certain ppl (I’m one of these ppl) Stormy Weather from S1 was THE pilot episode to the whole show and the first episode seen. It set up what we were going to be seeing of the show. So if there had to be an explanation, my take is that’s why they picked her again to mark off a recap and brand new starting point for what’s to come.
.
TLDR: This episode probably wasn’t just meant to show what’s changed, but to mark of what WILL change moving forward.
.
It’s not perfect, I’m still not happy with how it was delivered, but that’s probably what they were going for.
.
They probably should of just called it “The Story So Far” or something, honestly. Not Stormy Weather 2. Aurore did amazing. Her screentime didn’t :( But in the end, it’s probably there to mark the start of real change.
.
Since that’s maybe the deal, then changes we may see here moving forward and so on are:
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It’s probably gonna mark Marinette as being comfortable around Adrien and no longer hesitating as much as she did, but of course Luka will be more in her life (and Adrien may or may not realize he isn’t as okay with it?? That’s just what I wanna see honestly lol). Chloe will probably realize that she can’t keep expecting to be handed a miraculous just because she says so, which then could mark her to ACTUALLY start changing. And so on.
.
Anyway we’ll see what the next episodes bring. I noticed they’ve only been showing us the uneventful episode first and leaving the more “juicy” ones for later dates. . .
As long as this is, I actually kind of rushed through it so my apologies if it’s all over the place :(
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caden · 6 years ago
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i feel we should examine the whole idea of “do spoilers matter” or not at a deeper level then ‘people who complain about spoilers are annoying so spoiler warnings are stupid’. like the idea that a lot of you guys seem to have of “if having the plot spoiled ruins the movie for you then the plot wasnt any good anyways” seems sort of... not fully wrong but also underdeveloped to me. like, there are tons and tons and tons of stories that are widely considered to be amazing and have clear artistic merit that you absolutely wouldn’t want spoiled. Like, you wouldnt want to know darth vader was lukes father. you wouldnt want to know bruce willis was a ghost the whole time. For drama to be effective you need tension, and a very very efficient way of keeping the audience engaged is by putting them in a mindset where they’re unsure of what will happen next, or by revealing a game-changing plot twist, or by suddenly putting a character into an unexpected position. It seems totally disingenuous to me to be like ‘well it shouldnt matter to the audience whether or not they get to be surprised by what happens in the film they’re watching’. You can’t honestly believe that to be true. Being able to be surprised by a story is like one of the fundamental draws of good storytelling and probably has been for all of human history. Imagine how much worse US or Get Out or any Shakespeare play would be if you knew exactly where the plot would go before you saw it. I know there’s some research that suggests people actually enjoy stuff more if they already know what will happen but you can cast a lot of doubt on that data-- i think that it indicates more that people are more likely to appreciate a good plot once they understand it more thoroughly, hence why you might like a great movie more the second time you watch it. That doesnt mean there isnt value in the first time, it’s just a different way of viewing it.
All that said, the stuff with people not wanting spoilers for endgame has different wrinkles to it. (dont worry im not about to spoil anything). It can’t all be chalked up to ‘people care super deeply about the characters and plot and the writing is always so unpredictable and engaging that they dont want to know a single thing before going in’. Ive spent a lot of time recently thinking about the way infinity war and endgame are constructed, and they’re made in such a way that REALLY facilitates them being ‘spoiled’. because they’re written around moments. The plot isn’t so much a naturally moving thing with motivations and momentum of its own as much as a connective tissue between various cool things happening. Like, whoa, spider-man just met the guardians of the galaxy. oh sick, theyre in wakanda. holy shit, half of them died. Endgame goes REAAAAAALLY hard on this style of writing. And as a method of milking emotion from the audience, it really really works. Assuming the moments themselves are all effective, you’re guaranteeing constant engagement because every three minutes another epic thing is gonna happen. And I think when people fault marvel fans for being obsessed with spoiler warnings, this style of filmmaking is really what they’re trying to critique. because there’s a suggestion that if your movie is just jumping from crazy twist to shocking death to funny reference to epic fight, you’re losing the thing that should actually be the connective tissue of a film-- its themes, character arcs, ideas, setting... etc. And while I personally don’t think those things are mutually exclusive, (bc i do believe that infinity war and endgame genuinely have themes they try to discuss), i would also agree with the argument that reliance on shocking moments over actual ideas is bad writing. But as I mentioned earlier, a filmmaker like Jordan Peele whose works are generally agreed to be very good also uses this writing style-- his plots escalate via twists and turns and are expertly constructed to keep the audience wondering what’ll happen next, and he does a really great job with it. 
Now, i DEFINITELY think there’s an argument for ‘disney intentionally plays up the spoiler warning angle in a way that’s ultimately toxic to the filmmaking process’. Like I don’t believe that the “tom holland doesnt get to read the script” stuff is true, I 100% think it’s all a publicity stunt-- but they shouldnt be setting a precedent that makes people think doing something like that to a lead actor is acceptable. It’s not how films should be made, and the only reason I’m sure its all fake is because I have enough filmmaking experience to know itd literally be impossible to efficiently shoot a big-budget film under those conditions. Of course all the buzz about endgame spoilers is HUGELY beneficial to their marketing teams, so obviously they’re gonna go hard as hell on enforcing that narrative. Like they 100% WANT everyone to both be spoiling the movie and getting anxious about having the movie spoiled, because its all free advertising for them. But in terms of ‘big movie studios having greedy practices that harmfully affect the artistic process and make their films worse’, its incredibly low on the list of bad stuff that studios do imo. 
So, like, if you’re gonna critique all the various aspects of that, I think you should A) put your efforts towards exposing all the spoiler panic through the lens of how it affects the way that films are produced and consumed, or B) put your efforts towards analyzing the media itself, watch the film and ask ‘is this film more engaging and well-made because of its reliance on moments that can be spoiled? If no, why is that not working? If yes, is that engagement coming at a cost or is it justified? Essentially, I’d like to feel that the criticism was either coming from a social angle or an artistic one. And if that were the case I think i’d have less of an issue with it. Just saying “people are dumb for caring about spoilers” is silly. Maybe it’s dumb, but that’s not the point. People will consume media however they want to and if they want to care about spoilers then they have a right to care. You guys aren’t wrong if you think marvel shit is stupid and badly made, because art is subjective and no opinion on it is wrong. But other people also aren’t wrong for liking and caring about it, and being like ‘we should spoil it for them to teach them a lesson” is gross and totally unproductive. I know 99% of it is jokes but you gotta remember that some people have spent a very long time being very excited to see this movie and doing something that wrecks that for them is just mean and inconsiderate. It’s not about whether them feeling that way is stupid or not, because yeah, it’s stupid to be that invested in superhero movies. It’s about it not being cool to intentionally hurt someone just because you can. And the reason i don’t have a lot of tolerance for it is because I feel like saying “caring about spoilers is stupid” is a kneejerk, surface level attempt at media criticism and we can do better. I obviously care pretty deeply about the way we consume and criticize pop culture and i think it’s in everyone’s benefit to have more productive discourse about this stuff. No ill will towards my friends who are saying the things that i’m ragging on, i obviously don’t think it’s coming from a malicious place or anything-- this is just my read on the situation. Was gonna post this like two days ago but then decided someone would prob message me a spoiler because of it lol
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karmanticmoved · 5 years ago
Note
1-85 uwu
j esus okay
1. describe yourself.
uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch
2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?
idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.
3. do you have siblings?
the one thats still alive is my half brother
4. what is your favorite constellation, why?
orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio
5. favorite color.
yellow, pink, or blue.
6. what kind of music do you listen to?
almost anything. whatever catches my interest.
7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)
forgot what i said last time but those
yellow carnations i think?
8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?
maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk
9. favorite childhood memory.
my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.
10. have you ever been cheated on?
i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.
11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?
big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.
12. favorite animal.
river otter
13. what was the last photo you took of?
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cat
14. do you believe in soul mates?
i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns
15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?
over is the one thats socially acceptable right
16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.
idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.
17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?
no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.
18. guilty pressures?
im assuming thats meant to be pleasures
umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,
19. favorite mythical creature, why?
merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t
20. something most people don’t know about you.
i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.
not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth
21. where did you grow up, what was it like?
grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.
22. do you believe aliens exist?
sure.
23. what was your last google search?
other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things
24. what did your last relationship teach you?
the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.
25. would you relocate for love?
honestly yeah
26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?
both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.
27. favorite book.
favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta
favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.
28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?
introvert by far
29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?
i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts
30. top 5 favorite movies.
in no particular order
little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched
31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
no
32. what is your greatest fear?
definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy
33. favorite alcoholic beverage.
im baby
34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.
im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing
35. do you believe in ghosts?
not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in
36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?
idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!
37. should you split the dinner bill?
i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.
38. are you a good liar?
most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so
39. what keeps you up at night?
depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.
40. would you rather go without your phone or music?
music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends
41. do you believe in god?
what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.
no. i don't.
42. how do you relax when frustrated?
cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper
43. what’s something that offends you?
when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway
44. favorite food
i hate myself whenever i eat food
45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?
@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee
46. when do you feel the most confident?
never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.
47. what do you do in your free time?
sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.
48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect
matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.
49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.
50. did/do you play sports in school?
i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.
51. when are you happiest?
talkin 2 jay prolly
52. coffee or tea?
tea
53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?
my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7
54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?
their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me
55. what is your favorite season, why?
fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.
56. what makes you laugh?
stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn
57. are you a clean or messy person?
a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.
58. what is important for a successful relationship?
communication communication communicati
talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.
59. what was your upcoming like?
if thats supposed to be upbringing
idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.
60. favorite holiday?
any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.
61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?
give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket
62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?
hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty
63. favorite outdoor activity.
frisbee
64. how are you? honestly.
not great. i want highschool to end.
65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?
idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that
66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?
waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.
67. favorite type of candy?
none
68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?
i can and will do arson, an autobiography
69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?
i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly
70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?
silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected
71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?
im mostly the one having the weird conversations
72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?
i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit
73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?
when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides
74. what do you like to cook?
whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot
75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?
really pretty tropical fish
76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?
idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing
77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?
heart at first but my head if things get bad
78. what is your favorite quote?
"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"
or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.
this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood
79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?
once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao
80. what’s your love language?
sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.
81. do you ever feel alone?
oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks
82. ever been bullied?
yeah
83. are you usually early or late?
late bc of my parents rip
84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?
drawing, or writing. also theater.
85. what do you wish you knew more about?
i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.
id like to know more about forensics tho
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ironghoul · 6 years ago
Text
(hey yall)
(So its been a while and im v sorry ive been away so long!!!! ;; my mental health has crashed and gotten really, really bad over the past few months (my bipolar disorder+manic depression in specific) and its been very hard for me to function on a daily basis, and unfortunately the act of writing things, from general messages to RP posts to fic to ecen this post, has become very VERY hard for me bc of the brainfog I endure from my bipolar 2. My ghost muse in general has also kind of gone to sleep in a sense LMAO and i cant be 100% certain as to why it did, though i have some p clear ideas on what at least contributed (from the state of this fanbase being, to put it bluntly, complete Scheiße and also i got super into the Suspiria remake anskdkdshusjdj). Im making this post today bc a) i honestly really miss this blog a lot and b) i wanna get back into rping again...really bad. Im just not really sure of what my brain is gonna do next and how capable of keeping up w replies im gonna be bc of that ;; so I dont wanna rush into smthn I cant dedicate to again yet nor like.....push myself back into RPing if im not ready yknow???
I have however had a couple thoughts abt Irons character recently, and esp after having so much time away from her, ive begun to realize that I might want to change quite a few big things about her???? After thinking abt it some ive come to realize that im not really sure that like....i want to keep her so much how she is now, which is still very coherent and humanlike with a few inhuman traits here and there, so just super fucking depressed and angry and grieving all of the time, etc. For one, I honestly had more of the intention when I first made Iron to make her wayyyy more feral than I have been depicting her in my RPs, and as well, idk if its just a moodswing or something or other but I have found myself growing very weary of iron's horrible neuroses and constant sadness; maybe ive just been through too much recently or its my mental health but Im so sick of having this character just be literally so horribly fucked up and tragic and sad all the time yknow??? Like im just...im weary lmao i dont seem to have the perserverance anymore to have that be her set character bc like its starting to hurt me too at this point and im sick of it, and so what Ive been thinking about in specific is that I think I would like to make some kind of marginal changes to her character. I always ended up forgetting to make iron more feral and animalistic most of the time bc i myself am a...human LMAO and so thats the only life experience i know, obviously, and I think i was so afraid when I first made her to make her meaner or more monstrous bc she might not have really "fit in" well with everyone elses OCs and also I was afraid ppl just wouldn't wanna interact w her if she was Too Mean ahsjdnbdhdhsk but now at this point i think im ready to say fuck that to all of that bc Ive definitely learned now that yall will really interact w just about any character with any personality type or behavior or whatnot, and also, i think it would not only make iron more interesting but more fun for me to write if she was more of a....you know...Awful Gremlin LMFAO and life is short, OCs and RPing were made for fun too and i dont have Time to worry abt that stuff and end up having to sacrifice half of my preferred vision for this character in the process. So basically i think she would definitely still be pretty sad abt Papa 3 but she abolutely wouldnt be constantly haunted and tortured by it anymore, and I also think I want to remove that whole little tidbit abt her always being kind of violent post-ghoulification, even before 3 died. She would also act a lot less human on a regular basis, like i would have her still being perfectly capable of walking upright, talking, being neat and having critical/articulate thinking skills & emotions etc, however there would be a new quality to her of her primarily being, well, again: feral. Not speaking much, probably running around barefoot quite often and sometimes crawling/moving around on all fours, having that sort of primal timidness with whatever new things she experiences, putting things in her mouth off the ground that shouldnt be there, etc you know how it is. She would basically be like fucking Spongegar (Irongar if u will) most of the time LMAO but again she would still be perfectly capable of acting more "humanlike", and staying in line with that Iron Brand Personality(tm) she would absolutely pick and choose who she would decide to act more 'composed' around VS who she wouldnt and would also definitely purposefully act way More feral than she rly is around (to spite some of them im sure). She would probably be more prone to (gasp) Actually Smiling and being happy on a reg basis too, not just being this dark cloud of an awkward troubled depressing fuck tbh. Which fits in more with how im thinking I want to portray her now.
So thats all that, sorry this went on so long and i cant put it under a readmore bc im currently on mobile ahsjdjdjdndjd but like i hope i said what i needed to say well enough. I also wanna know yalls (esp my mutual RP partners!) Thoughts and Onions on the changes I might make to Irons character!!! Ty all, ily 💙💙💙)
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