#at least we are all crying together
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THE NEW CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING ALL KINDA DIFFERENT EMOTIONS AHH
*cries*
Ill make some proper art I swear
#yes this is a shitpost#I just needed to say that#on the blog where I keep all my hnk djwnwhwbwwbw#hnk#land of the lustrous#land of the lustrous spoilers#AHHHH#ok#houseki no kuni#at least we are all crying together
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I think the reason why I like epic so much is like 40% the actual music and 60% the community, the cast, the creator, and the journessy
Ykwim?
#epic the musical#epic: the musical#jorge rivera herrans#like damn all of them in ithaca together make me sob#theyre all so silly#and friendly#and its like theyre literally a big happy family#and we kinda get to be apart of it#like jorge opening nearly every video with “hello my friends :D” has made me cry at least thrice#theres nothing quite like it#i love you guys
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"You saved me so I can kill you", "my wretch of a wife", and "30 seconds" all happened in this series, yet y'all cry divorce on the ranchers.
#and i dont mean this in a 'theyre secretly cuddling between sessions uwu' way#i mean all their interactions have been at most silly at least completely neutral#yall act like theyre bitterly trying to murder each other in every scene theyve been in together#like the one time they ever dealt damage to the other wasnt immediately followed by an apology#the fh people are still out here even after the entirety of dl and 24l so far and yall are here acting like ranchers is made of sugar glass#team rancher#if you like angst thats fine but theres so many post crying that its all over#or acting like its a struggle#you dont need copium when they havent even done anything#sorry but every other duo gets a dramatic devastating moment to point to for why theyre divorced#and the worst ranchers get is 'if we ever 1v1 i could totally beat you anyways running away now' for people to act just as devastated#sorry im super salty this week#and just tired of rancher tags being walls of 'the world is ending and theres no recovery'
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I neeed to get outta this place, dude. Need to leave. Run run run. Fall into my friends' embrace. Just lay together with some anime playing in the background. Just take a breather. For a million years.
#meow.#just need to be anywhere else rn.#least satisfying i told you so. i never wanted to say i told you so. i wanted to be wrong. i wish i was wrong.#it was so obvious. he said it with his full chest. so many times. he laid out his plan.#I had to write essays about how things like this happen. and its happening.#And I say I dont know whats going to happen next. and to an extent I dont.#but it feels so inevitable#I want to do something.#I want to march I want to run i want to cry i want to fight#It feels like im the only one seeing this.#which of course isnt true.#but life goes on. it goes on and on and the world turns and turns and it doesnt even know what we're doing. what they're doing.#and how its going to affect everyone on earth.#my dog doesnt know.#And i get up and go to work.#because what else can i do?#I need money.#We all just keep it together.
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#grief is such a fucking pain man#the way it just. is until it isn't#the way that when the ball hits the button there's nothing you can do#like. I was having a perfectly nice evening#& now I’m sitting in the tub working very diligently not to cry about my lizard that died 4 months ago#bc I saw a reddit post about someone else's lizard#& it's like!!!!#it's so hard because it's not dysfunctional#it's not something you need to get over#it just Is#& ive been through this process before & I know how it works#but it's still like. annoying. almost.#on top of the other pain#bc it hits you so out of nowhere & with absolutely no regard for your feelings at the moment#it doesn't matter what you were thinking or feeling before. now it's Grief & thats all there is#& it does really help that it's universal. that everyone experiences this to some degree at least once in their life#& I know i'll experience it Way Way Worse in the future (bc all ive had up to this point is pet death)#but man.#I didn't want to be crying right now#I didn't want to ffeel it so heavy in my chest I didn't want to be reminded I have so little control over it#but. to love anything is to one day feel like this#& we are all holding hands & feeling it together#so that's nice#vent
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i'm too mentally unwell for this (people shoving ragbros angst in my face at 10 am)
#diluc's voice going 'was it ever real?' </3 kaeya saying 'i was just a child' </3 and 'i would burn the fucking world down before i would#even think of betraying you' </3#i'm actually crying#whatever spell ragbros put on me when i first started playing genshin that shit has a grip on me#i just want them to hug so bad i need them to hug i need them to cry it out and laugh together#i need diluc's lighthearted personality to shine through at least once please please#being safe enough that your inner child shines through as a sign of healing is so!!!! good!!!! btw#actually i'm so freaking curious about kaeya's birthday this year#i am every year but now that he had that sort of reassurance during his hangouts that the winery will always be there for him#i want to know if he gets to spend a bit of his birthday there or get to at least eat adelinde's food#maybe this is irrealistic but i don't care let me dream#his message last year was about tcg i love tcg but not like this give me crumbs hoyoverse feed me#last year's art was so cute with all the presents (we had klee crumbs too kaeya and klee so precious to me) so i am hoping for something#equally or even more wholesome#anyways do you ever just think about kaeya and diluc?#yeah me neither 😂
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New low. Sobbing in the floor of a dark empty apartment
#well. he’s gone.#it’s definitely relieving in a lot of ways#but….#my apartment is empty#when I moved to this city I had two of my best friends here with me#now I have no one#I will probably never talk to either one of them again#I lived with him for five years. we made our college plans together#and now my apartment is empty and I’m all alone and there’s no one to hear me cry#I feel so pathetic and miserable#and empty but overwhelmed all at once#I almost wish it was all my fault you know#cuz then at least I could pinpoint it I could figure it out#like oh… I’m a shitty person and I treated my friends badly and that’s why I lose them#but I’ve been the one who’s been used and tossed aside and discarded#and I’m alone in a dark empty apartment crying#and I know my old roommate and my old best friend don’t care#they’re both happy and having a good time and have not thought twice about me#and yeah. I feel pathetic#that even after everything I’m wasting grief on this#growing up my family always told me friends never amounted to anything#you had your family and your significant others and that was it you didn’t put everything you had into your friends#and I always thought that was stupid#and I loved my friends so much and I feel like I gave them so much I gave so many of them everything I had#and all I get is being alone and crying in an empty apartment#maybe my family was right I’m so tired of this I’m so so so tired#kaz rambles
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sorry for spam posting about my friends it’s just that they mean so much to me
#these ppl make me laugh until i cry on the weekly#they’re the funniest ppl i know and they get me and they are so much fun to be around#genuinely meeting them when i did saved me from death and the fact that we are all still so close after a year means so so much to me#this is the group that spent 46 hrs in call together like the first week we met each other and then immediately called again the next day#i don’t think a week has gone by without me calling at least one of them#and not a day where i haven’t msged them#i was so so so lonely a year ago and they are my favorite ppl in the world#ac1922
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Bayernblr therapy session anyone? I’ve got the goods:
#I can’t help because I’m emotionally distraught but at least we can all cry together#oh and rant#that too#fc bayern#fc bayern munich#fc bayern münchen#bayern lb
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I get pissed about this every three days but kpop fandoms would not survive the winter of actually giving groups time to work on music and for that matter neither would kpop companies
#genuinely I don't think this industry understands the idea of giving artists at least a year to put together an album or ep#music is supposed to be something you dedicate time to instead of trying to bang together an album every four months inbetween tours#this is common sense to the rest of the music industry (barely but the bar is on the ground) but not here#two comebacks a year minimum is not normal!! no fucking wonder we only get 2:30 songs that are 90% chorus!!#also I can imagine the pressure of coming up with new songs that quickly while tiktok trends breathe down your neck#this applies to stuff like choreo as well like when was the last time a song got choreo that wasn't mostly created to be a tiktok challenge#and people are consistently so stupid and hypocritical about this problem all the time it drives me insaneeee#you can't demand music constantly while refusing to engage with art thoughtfully and then turn around to cry about not liking songs
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i think a lil bit too hard abt the very good chance of melina having pictures where she is posted up exactly like this w the hickses and start crying screaming throwing up banging my head into the wall and things of that nature. actually
#i think it helps? or doesnt?#that susannah looks Judy Adjacent. like they could be cousins or smth#id never say white boy wes is conrad adjacent bc white boy wes was a good kind young man and conrad is the devil. but.#bc theres no way she wouldnt have been over for like Meet His Mama Dinner or smth PRETTY soon after they got together#and unfortunately judy did actually like her a lot!#bc melina is WHAT? an exceptionally good liar 😭😭😭#unfortunately shes any mothers dream (but her own)#at least outwardly. i mean shes pretty. does rlly well in school. sweet as pie. very respectful!#shes also like Cooked mentally and beholden to her evil ass girlfriend so…#that exterior means fuckall BUT THEY AINT KNOW THAT!!!!#if its any consolation really. she did genuinely like both wes and judy.#and felt bad abt. well. YKNOW 😭#even if she had no real romantic feelings for wes#and she was thanking god judy is so overprotective bc the less time alone she had w wes…the better 😭#shed latch onto ANY damn excuse to not be ��able’ to be all up on him LMFAO#but! neither here nor there! she thought he was a good friend at least 😭#but yeah…#lay down try not to cry cry a lot dot jpg#her catfish ass…💔💔💔#— ♡ 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥'𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦! // melina bates.#— ➴ 𝘢 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 (𝘤𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘺.) // meliwes.#— visage.#— slasherverse posting.
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#this is me just screaming into the void#but this week has been hard. like one of the hardest weeks I've had to get through in the longest time#tues was my great grandma's 12th anniversary of her passing#wed I got the news that a friend passed away suddenly#thurs was my late father's birthday#fri was that friend's funeral but I can't go#and there's a whole host of other things going on in my family now that I cannot put out into the internet just yet#personally I'm just so so tired#I am not spiralling. At least I don't feel like I am. but it's been so hard#I cannot turn to my family because of whatever's going on right now#I can't really turn to my friends just yet because my emotions are still percolating#my only consolation and also burden is that I will be away for a wedding soon and after that my last big trip for 2024#I feel so spread thin right now#I actually sat in the car with my sausage McMuffin crying to Hao's Haicheng and Woozi's What Kind of Future this morning#it's the first time I cried like that in a long while because I rarely let myself get to that point#idek why I am writing this#I think I just wanted to scream into the void for a bit#gab irl#thing is with the friend that just passed; he was part of the party crowd I used to run with#we are all kinda spread all over now -- some moved back to their own countries; some married and moved; some with kids...#we haven't partied together since before the pandemic#we kept talking about wanting to link up soon and catch up#I had even been thinking about him lately#and now he is gone and I do not have the place to pour my grief and my regrets into
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how deal with taidan
#^ crying over saki for the second night in a row#i am Not Okay about the fact her taidan is exactly a year after her pb footage aired on sky stage#bc that was the very last thing where i was like ok yeah maybe saki IS my second fave of all time#feels weird to call her my second fave#shes like basically on par w aasa 😭 idk how else to word itjfhd#idk not the point i am just emotional and sad and will miss her dearly#but also wishing her luck in whatever she decides to do next whether that be in the public eye or not#also just feel so sad about how busy ive been recently 😭😭#was planning on going back and watching all her shinkos and leads that i havent watched yet before the 13th but uni hit me like a truck#and i have not have time 😔#have not had *#sorry if you are reading this 🙏 it is not coherent 🙏🙏 fjdhdjd#idk i was torn up enough over kiwa and this is about to be 4000x worse sofhdhdjd#did watch every sakigumi show in order a while ago w my gf and that was nice at least#idk man im excited for aasas run im sure itll be great im just so not ready to say bye to sakigumi#god if youd have told me when i first got into zuka i would be this torn up over saki leaving i would not have believed you#but here we are#at no point was i expecting to get This Attached to saki but it just kind of happened#aasas fault whatever#fjhdjdhd#sorry none of fhis is coherent i do not know how to organise or articulate my thoughts#idk i love s4kiaasa so much#getting to watch them together both on and off stage for the last two and a half years ish since i got into zuka has meant so much to me#i hope they both continue to thrive and i look forward to seeing what they do next
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um guys........ i think u need to understand i'm going fucking insane over this picture
#LMAO??? WHAT THE FUCK ?? LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FAVCT????????????????????????#you see the man on the right on your screen is probably the greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes#also known as riccardo patrese#i mean look at him!!! and his suit and tie and waistcoat???#BABY BOY YOU LOOK AMAZING!!#actually breath taking stuff right there i mean full rights to him for looking that good#and dear god he looks so good#and other guy is walter rohrl whom i don't really care for. nice to see him there though :)#because wherever there is walter there is usually his codriver christian geistdörfer#who just so happens to be the second greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes#christian is this little beam of joy. i love looking at him. he has such a kind face.#like the sort of face you would feel safe asking for directions if you needed to#whcih would be fantastic considering that is like literally hiss job#ANYWAY#the faact that walter and riccardo are together meant that riccardo and christian probably have met and like shook hands or something???#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THEN WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#lord if there is a picture with those two i will literally go to grave crying tears of joy. maybe that is all a girl ever wants.#god i can't get over how much excitement this picture causes me. there is so much hope in the world!!!!!!!!!#also patrese................................. again. i think we should have kissed at least. utterly unfair.
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i can't sing a love song really makes me. ugh. i really like Kita!!! I'm just like her fr 😭😭😭
#crying over btr song analysis today!!#the btr songs all really speak to me in very personal ways and one day I'll elaborate but. yeah.#i need to do a ranking of btr songs but also i need to learn at least 2 more#i kinda have glbp down and i think i wanna do if i could become a constellation and あのバンド but. but.#the difficulty spike goes straight up lmaooo#bocchi's loneliness is sth I've felt before but grown out of but kita's and ryo's loneliness. kinda still hits hard.#but we're not gonna talk about that#ackkk i just. i love them. i love them. i love them!!!#bocchiposting#kk rambles#いいな 君は 皆から愛されて#いいや 僕は!!!ずっと一人きりさ!!! just hits!!! it hits!!! it hits right there at home!!!#oh to be loved by all but still feel alone. to become so palatable you fit right in. to despite it all still smile and give it your all#oh Kita we r really in it together now#see the world isn't too bad!! you're more loved than you might believe!! but despite it all you can still feel so small and so transparent#i really just like. all of them so much. They're all such good kids.
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In the past ~week I have realised at least three times that I was tensing up to stop my body from shaking for... no reason.
#l33chsp34k#By no reason I mean things like:#My friend was crying#Drunk guy across the street shouting obscenities (not at me and we were like 20 people all together)#Least favourite classmate was receiving his semester feedback with a thousand yard stare.#I have confirmed nobody could tell and nobody knows except for of course a dozen people online as of right now.#But girl ?? Why. It's not the first time but it had stopped for a while.
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