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imjustheretoseetheprivateblogs · 4 years ago

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The Lost World Rewrite

So, I recently watched the Lost World: Jurassic Park for the first time and all I gotta say is...

Yeah. So, in spite of the fact I feel that it would be Superfluous and self-aggrandizing, and a maturely written well thought out review would be a better use of my time, I decided to do a rewrite of the Lost World to make it a half-decent movie. I apologize to any fans of the film in advance. This is a rough Idea based on what could be done without completely throwing out the script. Here we go...

The film starts the same; little girl gets mauled by Compies on Isla Sorna

Cut to not Ian Malcolm; there is no Ian Malcolm in this film. There will never be Ian Malcolm in this film. Instead, we cut to Dr. Sarah Harding (played by Julianne Moore) who’s photographing a crocodile nesting. We learn a little bit about her from her assistant, Nick Van Owen (played by Vince Vaughn), namely that while her theories on Dinosaur young rearing are as on point as Alan Grant’s raptor research, she’s not so hot at rearing young herself. Case in point, she’s late for her daughter’s gymnastics performance.

Her daughter is of course Kelly Curtis played by Vanessa Lee Chester, who in this version will have a larger role and more developed personality. Kelly is Sarah’s adopted daughter and the two have been at a loss at what to do with one another since meeting. Kelly is the daughter of one of Sarah’s oldest friends who died while traveling and Sarah took her in. While their relationship isn’t horrible, it’s definitely awkward. Like when Sarah bursts through the gymnasium doors to see Kelly has completely finished her routine and the seat reserved for her has been given to someone else (maybe Michael Crichton or Steven Spielberg in a cameo?)

Later that night, Sarah is called by a mysterious voice on the phone, telling her to pack a suitcase and go outside. She does so and a black SUV pulls up. “Get in.” a man’s voice tells her.

“OK,” Sarah says, annoyed, “who are you people and what’s with the G-man routine?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a G-man routine.” says a familiar voice.

We pan over to reveal John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) sitting across from Sarah.

“Can I offer you a drink?” he asks.

The conversation is much the same as the movie with Ian Malcolm (Hammond explains Site B, tells Sarah about the JP incident, etc.). Only this time, there’s a big difference: InGen wants to cut ties with the Jurassic Park debacle and intends to let the Costa Rican Government fire bomb it. Hammond wants to get people onto the island and document the animals to drum up environmentalist support for turning it into a preserve and at least stave off the destruction until a humane solution can be found.

“How can I say no!?” Sarah says. A chance to photograph real Dinosaurs. Never in 65 million years did she think she’d get this chance.

The team she’ll be going to the island with includes herself, Hammond, Van Owen (“Nick’s the best person for the job” Sarah insists), equipment manager Eddie Carr (Richard Schiff), Dr. Robert Burke (Thomas F. Duffy) (“are we sure he’s not a country singer?” Sarah asked, eyeing the supposed paleontologist’s ten gallon hat and beard), celebrity big game hunter Roland Tembo (Pete Postlethwaite), and InGen executive Peter Ludlow, Hammond’s own nephew (“I made the mistake of trusting too many people last time,” Hammond said, “this time, I’m playing it close to the vest.”)

The team arrives on the Island, where Peter suggests setting up camp in a low clearing, much to Tembo’s chagrin (“that,” Tembo said, rolling his eyes, “is a game trail, Mr. Ludlow. Carnivores hunt on game trails. do you want to find dinosaurs or serve them lunch?”)

The group wanders through deep Jungle, Hammond and Ludlow being the slowest, one due to their age the other due to being a little on the wimpy side. As the journey goes on, it becomes apparent that there’s some friction between Peter and John, with Peter second guessing John every chance he gets and trying to act like the leader of the group.

They finally come across a family of stegosaur and we get that adorable pet the baby scene from the movie. Eddie is flabbergasted, Nick is taking pictures like crazy, Burke’s having a conniption, Hammond swells with pride, and we don’t really know what’s going through Peter and Tembo’s heads.

Something startles the Stegs (Tembo reached for his gun. “No!” Nick grabbed the barrel of Tembo’s gun.)

Nick fumed “An animal that hasn’t been seen in over a million years turns up and the only way you can express yourself is to kill it?” Tembo smiled. “Remember that chap about twenty years ago? I forget his name. Climbed Everest without any oxygen, came down nearly dead. When they asked him, they said why did you go up there to die? He said I didn't, I went up there to live.” (cryptic, no?)

“What could have set them off like that?” Wondered Burke. Roland, however, scented the air. “Smoke,” he said simply, pointing “coming from that way. They must have thought it was from a forest fire.”

The group rushes back to their camp, discovering the campfire burning. Eddie and Burke make to smother it. However, the camper door opens to reveal—

“I was gonna have dinner ready when you got back.” Kelly said.

Sarah and Kelly have an argument inside the camper, about how Sarah’s never there for her and how she just washed out of her gymnastics team (“I got bronze,” she said, “not that you’d know. You didn’t even stick around long enough for that part.”)

Kelly convinces Sarah she can stay. We cut to a scene of the group in jeeps, riding through grasslands in a heard of various Dinosaurs. Nick’s in the jeep with Tembo, Peter, and Hammond, while Sarah is with Kelly, Eddie, and Burke. (Tembo turned to Nick. “get in the outrigger. You're closing in on a parasaur.” “Parasaurolophus,” Nick corrected smugly.” “Whatever,” said Tembo, “The one with the big red horn! The pompadour! *Elvis!*”)

Nick climbs into the outrigger and begins to film the dinosaurs. In the other jeep, the group is trying to coax Eddie into their own outrigger.

“No way I’m getting into that thing,” Eddie said “not surrounded by dinosaurs.” “We’re gonna need better shots if we want to save these dinosaurs,” Sarah said, “and you’re the only one who knows how to work the equipment.” “So do you,” Eddie said, “Why not pull over and let me drive? I used to drive cabs for a living.” “I know how the use the camera.” Kelly said. Sarah stared at her. “You do?” “I was in AV club before gymnastics.”

The group snaps Kelly in and they begin their own filming process. For the first time in a long time, Kelly and Sarah seem to be having fun together.

After that moment of chipperness, we cut back to camp. (Roland nodded to Nick. “Tree hugger got a great shot of a Pachy... a pachy... oh, hell. One of those fatheads with the bald spot, Friar Tuck!”) Peter and Hammond are looking over a map. Peter insists that they should go to the abandoned worker village on the other side of the island, where they can find easy shelter and supplies (“IT runs on geothermal power, so it’ll still have power”). Hammond disagrees. (“Absolutely not,” Hammond said, “that part of the island has been overrun by Velociraptors.” Peter frowned “What’s that, veloc-o-?” “Velociraptor,” Burke said, “Carnivore, pack hunter. About two meters tall, long snout, binocular vision, strong, dextrous forearms, and killing claws on both feet.” “That doesn’t sound promising.” said Peter. “You should read Alan Grant’s latest paper on them,” said Burke, “It’s like he met one in real life!”)

Meanwhile, Roland Tembo is now kneeling, looking at a track.

“Come take a look at this.” he says. Everyone gathers around. “do you know what this is?” he asks. Sarah’s eyes grew wide. “We have to leave.” she said. “Why?” asked Kelly. “That’s a T-Rex track!” Burke said. “A T-Rex!” Eddie looked as if he was about to break for the beach and try to swim home. “That’s impossible!” said Hammond “the satellite photos showed that the Rex territory is nowhere near here.”

The group decides to risk staying in the area. Later that night, Kelly hears a noise. Curious, she goes outside to investigate. In the moonlight, she sees a team of unknown men in night vision goggles capturing the dinosaurs that they had been filming earlier that day. As the drive off, Kelly grabs onto the back of one of the trailers to follow them.

We cut back to Sarah’s tent. She’s asleep, not having been roused by her daughter’s departure. But she is roused by what sounds like deep breathing outside. She surreptitiously looks around and sees a massive snout sticking into her tent. It’s the Tyrannosaur!

Just then, Peter Ludlow comes out of his tent with a roll of toilet paper, but upon seeing the dinosaur lets out a scream that wakes the whole camp. The rex turns and bellows at him, trashing their camp all the while in a show of dominance. Soon, the whole group is running through the forest. Hammond is almost eaten by the thing if not for Tembo’s intervention.

Soon, however, the groups are separated from one another. Hammond slips down a river bank into a ravine, Peter just up and vanishes, and Sarah, Van Owen, Tembo, Burk, and Eddie run behind a waterfall with the rex in pursuit. The dinosaur, unable to follow, gives one last roar of anger and leaves. Out of all the people, however, Tembo looks the least scared. He looks…thrilled, actually.

Meanwhile, we cut away to Hammond. He rises (roughly) shaking away the delirium. He looks around, wondering where his party got off to. The T-Rex’s roar is heard in the distance. Better find the others, he thinks. He begins to follow the river; if the group has any sense, they’ll make a new camp on the water. But then he hears a noise and looks down. It’s a Compy.

We get a very similar scene to Dieter Stark’s (Peter Stormare’s) death in the movie (which was based off of John Hammond’s in the first book) with one or two caveats. First, we don’t cut away in the middle. We maintain the scene and the suspense as long as possible (with Compys popping out of the woodwork the more Hammond tries to get away from them). The second…

There was a sound of rifle fire. The Compys scattered and Hammond felt himself pulled up from the shallow water, finally able to breathe. “Tembo,” he coughed.

“If you have any more suicidal ideas,” said Tembo, “keep em to yourself.”

Cut back to Sarah’s group as Hammond and Tembo rejoin them.

“Has anyone seen Kelly?” Sarah asked, worried.

“I think I saw her run in the same direction as Ludlow,” said Tembo.

“Hopefully, they’ll be safe once they leave the Rex’s territory.” said Burke.

“Don’t bet on it,” said Sarah, “Tyrannosaurs have the second largest proportional olfactory cavity of any creature in the fossil record.” “What’s the first?” asked Eddie. “Turkey vulture,” said Burke, as casually as someone would talk about the weather.

“Any idea where we are?” asked Eddie, desperately trying the change the subject. “Somewhere west of the worker village, I think,” said Nick, examining a map of the island (one of the few they managed to salvage from the camp) “It’d be an easy hike there.” “Maybe that’s where Kelly and Peter are,” said Sarah, turning to Hammond. “Yes, but if they did go there, they’re in grave danger.” said Hammond. “Velociraptors,” said Burke, trying to be helpful.

“Danger or not, we need a radio,” said Tembo, “that buck tore the hell out of our camp and I don’t think we can contact the mainland with smoke signals.” “How do you know the T-Rex was male?” asked Sarah.

Before Tembo can answer, a different roar is heard. A helicopter passed overhead.

“I thought you said we had a few weeks before they started razing the island?” Sarah said. “We do,” Hammond replied, “I don’t know what that helicopter’s doing her.” “It was headed towards the worker village,” said Tembo, “so, if we want to see what’s what, I think that’s where we’re headed.”

Cut to a scene of the group walking through the forest at night. Finally, they reach a vantage point overlooking the worker village…and it’s anything but abandoned.

More than three dozen people, some of them armed, are walking over the compound. Chain link fence ran the perimeter of the camp, newer than the rest of the camp. Tents, vehicles, mobile generators, the works.

Dozens of dinosaurs sit in cages, all bearing the same logo

“It says InGen on the side of that truck!” Eddie said. Everyone turned to look at Hammond. “I had no idea about this,” said Hammond, “why would I ask anyone to come here?” “I think I know who we should ask,” said Nick, pointing down at the camp.

It’s Peter, down in the camp, talking with the armed guards.

“What’s he doing down there?” asked Sarah. “I think,” Hammond said, sadness in his voice, “I’ve made the same mistake twice.” “Anybody seen Tembo?” asked Eddie.

Indeed, Tembo has disappeared.

Cut to Kelly, hiding in one of the trailers. She’d managed to evade her captors, but for how long she can continue to do so is up to debate. Stealthily, she creeps out of the trailer and around the camp over to one of the cages. She undoes the latch. She moves on to the next cage. Rinse and repeat.

Cut to inside one of the tents, Peter and several other people, all InGen personnel, stand around a card table where plans labeled ‘Jurassic Park San Diego’ are lain out.

“San Diego?” One man (a high ranking InGen worker) asked. “it’s already famous for its animal attractions,” said Peter, gesturing to plans on the table, “San Diego zoo... Sea World... The San Diego Chargers.”

“I don’t think John Hammond would have approved of having these animals on the mainland.” An InGen executive said.

Peter frowned. “Well, Hammond’s not in charge anymore. I am.” He turned to another man, this one a hunter by the look of him. “How’s the hunting going?”

“We’ve got plenty of plant eaters,” the hunter said, “some eggs. no raptors though. And our man hasn’t brought in the T-Rex like he said he would.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “What makes you think people want to see a bunch of veggiesaurs and eggs! They’re gonna want a T-Rex!”

“We’re trying, sir!” the hunter says, “but we haven’t seen any raptors since we got here!”

Suddenly, a worker bursts into the tent “The baby’s gone!” he said.

Almost as suddenly, a Triceratops bursts into the tent, smashing into the table and scattering the group. The camp is in chaos! Dinosaurs are running amuck. Vehicles overturned, people tossed into the air. But this is the chance Hammond’s group has been waiting for. They make their way down to the village in the bedlam, and make it into the main building of the worker’s village. Eddie manages to contact the mainland, and things are looking up. But then, we hear an ungodly moan from behind a nearby door. Slowly, Burke heads towards the door, picking up a nearby screwdriver to use as a weapon. He jerks the door open to reveal…

“Kelly!” Sarah cried. Kelly sat inside a broom closet, in her arms a baby T-Rex.

“They just left him tied to a stick out there,” said Kelly, “and I think his leg is broken.”

Despite the limited materials, the group sets to work splinting the baby’s leg. It’s pretty much the same as in the movie. Until the sound of a rifle cocking is heard behind them.

“I’ll be taking that rex now, Dr. Harding,” Roland Tembo said. Tembo has been on Ludlow’s payroll since the beginning. He was never here to protect the group. He’s here to hunt the T-Rex. He was the one who staked the baby out, to attract it’s parents.

Outside, the cacophony has died down. The Dinosaurs have mainly been recaptured. Hammond’s group has been brought before Ludlow, who looks at them condescendingly. “You really thought you were still CEO when you got here, Uncle John? I bought you out the day you asked for my help. We’ll still use the footage you took for our attractions, don’t worry.” “So, you’re going to reopen Jurassic Park then, is that it? Despite my warnings?” “No, not reopen. We’re moving these animals to the mainland so we don’t have to fly out here every time there’s a problem. You put us six million dollars in debt every day since you started making dinosaurs. It’s time to see good on that investment you promised. And the board agrees with me.”

InGen Exec: it’s nothing personal John. Why have a dinosaur and not use it?

“These are animals,” Sarah said, “they deserve respect”

“They’ll have the best of care.”

“And what if they break out! What then?”

Cut to part of Hammond’s team (Hammond, Sarah, and Kelly) being shoved into a trailer with the door locked behind them. Sarah tries to force the door open, to no avail. Kelly runs around, trying to open the windows. Hammond just sits down, despondent at the betrayal of his own family.

Sarah (trying to yank the door open): come on! You stupid…

A familiar roar is heard. A car flips past the window.

“What is it?” Hammond asked, “What’s going on?”

Sarah: I think things just got complicated.

The buck T-Rex from earlier has tracked the them to the Worker village and crashes through the fence. Suddenly, another roar is heard from the other side of the camp. It’s the female Rex, and she’s even more pissed than the male.

“There’s two of them!?” Sarah asked, incredulous. “We spared no expense,” Hammond said.

The rexes wreck the trailer the rest of Hammond’s team is in. Nick, Eddie, and Burke make a break for it. The female Rex sees them and gives chase. She and her mate bare down on them and soon capture Eddie, each taking one end in their jaws and pulling him apart for a snack.

Afterward we get a faceoff between Roland Tembo and the male rex (one that would have been really cool in the movie but we didn’t get it).

Tembo wastes two shot gun blasts on the rex. Out of ammo, he switches to tranquilizers, which finally manage to bring the beast down. The other rex is soon felled after. Subdued in special harnasses, the rexes are air lifted by helicopters to a boat waiting of the coast of Isla Sorna. All in all, the bad guys’ mission is a success. Well, Tembo wouldn’t say so. If you’d told him a year ago he’d get to hunt not one but two T-Rexes he would have kissed whoever told him that square on the mouth. But in the end, it had been so stupidly simple to catch them he just feels crapped on. Didn’t even get a trophy.

“You know, I remember the people who've helped me, Roland. There's a job for you at the park in San Diego if you want it.” Roland turns him down.

Cut to a group of hunters patrolling the tall grass outside the worker village. Suddenly, one of them is pulled under. A hunter a few feet away looks in his direction. “Manolo?” he asks. Another nearby hunter is pulled out of view. The hunters are starting to get scared. “Look alive, people.” one of them says. We hear a familiar coughing sound.

A velociraptor jumps out of the grass and mangles one of the hunters. Soon, pandemonium ensues. The crafty raptors had been evading the InGen hunters, watching them, waiting for the right moment. And with two dinosaur attacks in a row and both rexes out of the picture, now was the time to strike! (And there are no tails sticking up out of the grass cartoonishly! Raptors are supposed to be dangerous, not goofy).

Back at the camp, Roland runs towards the danger while Peter climbs aboard one of the waiting helicopters. “Get me out of here!” he cries.

The raptors swarm the camp. Roland manages to kill a few, but not before they massacre most of the InGen workers there. Tembo even has to watch Burke die in front of him. We get a scene where Hammond’s group escapes their trailer, Kelly defeats a velociraptor with gymnastics and the group plus Tembo manages to get onboard a helicopter.

The rest of the movie follows the actual TLW movie pretty closely with a few differences. Namely, there’s more than one dinosaur rampaging through San Diego, Tembo is helping the remaining team route the dinos back to the ship, we acknowledge the fact that the car they picked in the movie was due to reasons of masculinity, and Peter suffers a nervous breakdown when the dinosaurs break out of the ship’s hold and allows himself to be eaten by the baby rex out of guilt.

Roland fires a tranquilizer shot at the buck rex before it can clear the door. When that’s done, Sarah asks him what he’s going to hunt next.

“I believe I've spent enough time in the company of death.” he said.

We cut to Kelly and Sarah asleep on the couch while a TV plays news coverage of the boat being returned to Isla Sorna with a statement from John Hammond (once again CEO of InGen).

His speech is pretty much the same, ending with “as someone once told me, life finds a way.”

The final shot of the film is the rex family, the stegosaurs, all the dinosaurs back on Isla Sorna. Content as the Jurassic Park credits theme plays in the background.

So, what did you think? Like it, hate it? As always, I welcome feedback and comments!

#Jurassic Park #The Lost World #the lost world: jurassic park #Jurassic Park 2 #Jurassic Park II #Steven Spielberg #Rewrite #Re-Write #Dinosaurs #My Writing #Well Sort of #Fix It Fic #Sarah Harding #Roland Tembo #John Hammond #Kelly Curtis #Nick Van Owen

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acting-classes-online · 4 years ago

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The cameos of 11 famous actors that you may not remember

Aiden, Smith, Harry and Steve and of course Mr. Big (who has made it known will not be in the anticipated “And just like that” reboot). Here they are the great loves of the four girls of Sex and the city who soon, Samantha s part, will return, in the revival of HBO, to populate the streets of New York showing us how their love stories have evolved - alas, even without Steve and Mr. Big after the rejection of the actors - and of friendship in all these years of absence from the screen.

Yet, the TV series that since 1998 has made us laugh and also learn (about sex, but not only) has had over the years a parterre of stars who, season after season for a total of 94 episodes, have left a memory for the characters they played, even if only for a few minutes of an episode. Any co-star names turned big stars? Elizabeth Banks, Alan Cumming, Heidi Klum, Andy Cohen, Lucy Liu, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Carrie Fisher, even Hugh Hefner and Donald Trump.

Our attention, however, is catalyzed by 11 actors, very famous today, who perhaps you do not remember. Because, despite Charlotte York's theory that everyone in life is destined to have only two great loves, the girls of Sex and the city have had a few extra crushes, waiting for the big love. Luckily, we say. Otherwise, how could they have invited all these handsome guys to the set? Many will remember Trey MacDougal (Kyle MacLachlan), Robert (Blair Underwood), Richard Wright (James Remar), Aleksandr Petrovsky (Michail Baryšnikov) and Jack Berger (Ron Livingston) because they had relationships with the SATC girls for at least two episodes. But you may have missed these really hot cameos, which didn't get over the first date hurdle. And just like that ...

1. Bradley Cooper is Jake Carrie ends up on the cover of New York Magazine with a tired face, accompanied by the question "Is Single Better?". So, to forget what happened, he allows himself an extra cocktail and at the club he meets a young and blond Bradley Cooper, in his first role as an actor.

2. Matthew McConaughey is a fictionalized version of himself Carrie flies to Los Angeles because a producer - Matthew McConaughey - wants to turn his column into a movie. Interested in playing Mr. Big, he asks her how he managed to screw up the whole relationship with the most perfect man on earth, making her give up the option of seeing his pillars of him on the big screen.

3. Gabriel Macht is Barkley Yes, it's Harvey Specter, Suits' established and super sexy lawyer (yes, the one with Meghan Markle). Many years ago he was a model expert, exactly in the second episode of the first season of the series. His role has brought the term "modelizer" into our vocabulary.

4. Justin Theroux is Vaughn Wysel A writer like Carrie, with a few problems in the bedroom. Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston's ex-husband, appears once again, just for a few seconds, as a writer named one of the "30 coolest people under 30".

5. Vince Vaughn is Keith In Los Angeles, anything can happen. Even thinking that you have met the perfect man, a prominent film agent, played by Vince Vaughn. Only to discover, in reality, that he is the personal assistant of Carrie Fisher and Ben Affleck.

6. David Duchovny is Jeremy David Duchovny was Carrie's high school boyfriend, who suddenly calls her to tell her he's moved to Connecticut. The two start a story again, until he reveals that he is in a psychiatric facility, making their future complicated.

7. Jon Bon Jovi is Seth Jon Bon Jovi is a patient of Carrie's own therapist. She creates a confrontation, until she discovers that once he sleeps with a woman he completely loses interest in her, making her realize that she is really good at picking the wrong men.

8. John Slattery is Bill Kelley Before being Roger Sterling in Mad Men, John Slattery was the contending politician who stole Carrie's heart. Why didn't it last between them? A certain weakness for a certain type of shower ...

9. Clark Gregg is Harris Before Marvel and Agents of S.H.I.E.LD., Clark Gregg met Miranda on a speed dating. She passes herself off as a stewardess, he as a doctor and then turns out to be the deputy director of a shoe store.

10. Timothy Olyphant is Sam Timothy Olyphant is a 20 year old boy who loves to hang out with the thirties. Carrie loses her head for him until she sees her apartment with him.

11. Matthew Morrison is a waiter Carrie, post Jake (Bradley Cooper) and the bad figure in New York Magazine, accepts her single life and goes to lunch alone, where she is served by future Glee star Matthew Morrison.

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alwayssummerblog · 6 years ago

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Holiday Films To Watch On Streaming This Christmas

The holiday season is now in full swing which means it’s time to pull out the matching pajamas, fuzzy socks and cozy blankets and celebrate with our favorite Christmas movies. All of our favorite streaming services make it so easy to binge these movies one after another and it can be hard to choose which movies our the top priority for the movie night. Lucky for you, we’ve come up with a list of some of our favorite films that are available to stream right now. Check out our list below and let us know what you think!

Netflix

How The Grinch Stole Christmas - (2000)

One of the hottest films out this holiday season is the animated remake The Grinch, but if you’re looking for a nostalgic blast from the past, head to Netflix to watch Jim Carey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas. This fun holiday flick came out in 2000 and stars Jim Carrey as the grumpy old Grinch whose heart slowly becomes a little bit warmer with the help of young Cindy Lou Who and a bit of Christmas magic. This seussical story will warm your heart and is the perfect family film to snuggle up with alongside some chocolatey mugs of hot cocoa.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VamGhQdQswQ

Love Actually - (2003)

Not in the mood for an animated flick, check out Love Actually on Netflix instead. This 2003 romance is comprised of a stellar cast and is nine intertwined stories that examine the complexities of love. A few of the stories explored include David (Hugh Grant), the handsome newly elected British prime minister who falls for a young junior staffer (Martine McCutcheon), Sarah (Laura Linney), a graphic designer whose devotion to her mentally ill brother complicates her love life, and Harry (Alan Rickman), a married man tempted by his attractive new secretary.

While it may not be age appropriate for all the members of your family, it’s a beautiful story of love that many will find heartwarming this holiday season.

[embed]-https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/videoplayer/vi3838289945?ref_=tt_ov_vi

The Holiday Calendar - (2018)

Last in our selection of Netflix movies to stream is a new holiday flick that we can’t stop obsessing over. This film tells the story of an up and coming photographer that inherits a magical Christmas calendar that seems to predict the future. Leading lady Kat Graham, known for her role on the hit series The Vampire Diaries, navigates her way through the holiday season in hopes of kick-starting her career and maybe even finding love along the way. This TV-PG film is perfect for a girls night in, date night, or a movie marathon with the kids.

[embed]-https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8262802/videoplayer/vi3112221209?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Hulu

A Christmas Story - (1983)

In the mood for a good laugh and some classic family fun? Hulu is the perfect platform for all your favorite old time Christmas classics. A Christmas Story follows a young boy, Ralphie, as he tries to convince all of the adults in his life that a BB gun is the perfect Christmas present! This movie really reminds us of childhood and that magical feeling of waking up on Christmas morning to see what Santa delivered. Check out the trailer below!

[embed]- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/videoplayer/vi3470328089?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Mickey’s Christmas Carol - (1983)

Speaking of old fashioned movies, who doesn’t love a good Mickey Mouse film? Mickey’s Christmas Carol is an adaptation of the Charles Dickens masterpiece, A Christmas Carol. The film finds all your favorite characters embodying the roles of the old miser Scrooge, his kind clerk Bob Cratchit and a whole slew of famous faces taking on this timeless tale. Want to introduce the kids to a Dickens masterpiece? This is the perfect flick for you!

[embed]- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085936/videoplayer/vi2230958617?ref_=tt_ov_vi

It’s Christmas Again, Charlie Brown - (1992)

And of course, it wouldn’t be Christmas without Charlie Brown! This 1992 TV Movie follows the whole peanuts gang as they raise money for gifts, keep Snoopy out of trouble, all the while rehearsing and memorizing lines for the Christmas pageant. This is a fun continuation of a Christmas classic that you and your family will enjoy for years to come!

[embed]- <iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="270" src="https://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x5bv6kc" allowfullscreen allow="autoplay"></iframe>

Amazon Prime

Home Alone - (1990)

Being alone for the Holidays is never fun, but 8 year Kevin McCallister sure makes a challenging time of protecting the house from burglars look like an easy game. This holiday favorite turns a crazy situation into a funny tale full of make-shift booby traps and creative tricks! Home Alone is available on Amazon Prime and is definitely one of our favorites.

Love this film? Make sure to check out the sequel as well!

[embed]-https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099785/videoplayer/vi2477195545?ref_=tt_ov_vi

The Santa Clause - (1994)

Speaking of childhood, we absolutely love Tim Allen in The Santa Clause. This adorable film tells the story of divorced dad Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) who has custody of his son (Eric Lloyd) on Christmas Eve. After he accidentally knocks a man in a Santa suit off his roof, they are magically transported to the North Pole, where an elf explains that Scott must take Santa's place before the next Christmas arrives. Though Scott thinks he's dreaming, over the next several months he begins to take on the appearance of the big man and can't deny something magical has taken over.

Check out the trailer below:

[embed]- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111070/videoplayer/vi2806954777?ref_=tt_ov_vi

The Holiday - (2006)

In the mood for something a bit more modern? You can stream The Holiday on Amazon Prime. This romantic-comedy stars Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz as they switch places in an effort to escape their guy-problems during the holiday season. The two women end up loving the swap, finding themselves and of course falling in love again with new people! Make sure to stream this flick for your next girls night in and don’t forget the wine and hot cocoa!

[embed]- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457939/videoplayer/vi3321037081?ref_=tt_ov_vi

HBO GO

A Christmas Carol - (2009)

Another Jim Carrey classic (as well as remake of a timeless classic) is A Christmas Carol! This 2009 picture is an animated version of the classic Charles Dickens victorian-era tale. In this story, Scrooge is confronted by evil spirits and faced with the fact that he has made mistakes in his life. He has to choose to either face death or redemption. Though this sounds heavy, this film is a family favorite and great to get in the holiday spirit.

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Four Christmases - (2008)

Last but not least on our list of fun holiday movies is Four Christmases. This rom-com follows Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn as they attempt to attend four Christmases (of their divorced parents!). Full of laughs, family revelations and romance, this is a film that should be on your holiday rotation this Christmas!

[embed]- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369436/videoplayer/vi1159200793?ref_=tt_ov_vi

We hope you like our list of must see Christmas movies! Let us know which films you decide to binge this holiday season.

#country #MegaCountry #christmas #films #home alone #a christmas story #a christmas carol #four christmases #The Holiday #The Santa Clause #how the grinch stole christmas #love actually

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moviemumbojumbo · 10 years ago

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17 Ridiculous Sequels That We're Totally Gonna Go See

This is unbelievable, but actually pretty believable, because them Hollywooders be like "money! money! money!" Some of these are more ridiculous than others, some you might already know about, and some will blow your mind, or as us bloggers like to say "it will change your life forever."

1. Beetlejuice 2

It's very early in Beetlejuice 2 development, but apparently it's a thing, and apparently it's going to involve Michael Keaton and Tim Burton. Hmmmm. Tim Burton isn't exactly on a hot streak. Michael Keaton OWNS the Beetlejuice character and will no doubt nail it again. But I mean, I saw him nail it already, sooo this is ridiculous, and yes, I will go see it.

2. Ghostbusters 3

Well we've been hearing about this for like, years. No one has been really that excited about it, and unfortunately one of the most important contributors to Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis, has passed away. Bill Murray doesn't want to be in it. Ivan Reitman is producing but not directing. HOWEVER we are now reading that Paul Feig is signed on to direct it and it will star an all-female ghostbusters team. Hey, that's kind of exciting, especially considering the chicks that Paul Feig has worked with. Please put Annie Potts in it! Please please put Annie Potts in it! She can be the secretary again! Please!

3. Dumb and Dumber To:

I was actually kind of really excited about Dumb and Dumber To, once again staring Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey, but after seeing the trailer, EYE ROLL. If the best jokes are in the trailer, then we don't have much to look forward to in this movie. Dumb and Dumber wasn't exactly a high brow comedy, but at least the jokes made sense in some sort of dumb guy universe. Many people are going to see it. I'll rent it. This November, Dumb just got Dumber. (I thought of that line)

4. Bill & Ted 3

Jesus Christ. How does this even work? Are Keanu Reeves and that other dude going to pretend to be idiot teenagers? Maybe the movie will just start in the "future" where these stupid unfunny teenagers are stuck as middle-aged men. It's a good thing the plot involved time travel! Phew! Were the first two Bill & Ted movies any good in the first place? I don't actually remember because it was TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. Anyway, Keanu Reeves says there's a script. Bogus.

5. Beverly Hills Cop 4

This is full on happening, Eddie Murphy is involved, and it's being filmed in Detroit. This seems stupid, but for some reason, I don't hate this idea. I have not seen the second and third films, so maybe I'm just being naive. Were the sequels funny? Is Eddie Murphy still awesome?

6. Blade Runner 2

Well, this is based on a book, so fine. But I don't understand why they waited so long. A lot has happened to Harrison Ford since the first movie. Most recently, Expendables 3 happened to Harrison Ford. Nevertheless, Ridley Scott is set to direct and Ford is set to star. The script is apparently written, and there's a website. When Blade Runner came out, there were no websites.

7. Dodgeball 2

It will star Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. The news I am finding is over a year old, so I guess that means the project is getting dragged out a bit or whatever. I don't know.

8. The Goonies 2

WHAAAAAAAAT? WHAATTT? This one blows my mind the most. I should put it at the bottom or the top of this list but then I would have to renumber everything, so fuck that. Just know it's the most ridiculous. I can't even imagine what in god's name this movie will be like. I can't even start to guess. I do not know. The original director Richard Donner is somehow still alive and he's into it. According to news, it's been "in the works" for quite a long time. Here's Josh Brolin celebrating the Goonies THIRTIETH anniversary and fielding a question about the sequel.

9. Independence Day 2

I mean, OK. Whatever. There's no Will Smith but there is Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum. According to Screenrant, it's coming out on July 4, 2015. Clever.

Screenrant:

The sequel will pick up in real-time, some twenty years after the first movie. However, co-writers Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich (the latter is returning to direct) have revealed that ID4-2 takes place in an alternate present-day reality, where humanity has spent the last two decades harvesting the alien technology featured in the first movie.

There's already a second sequel. They are calling it ID Forever Part 1 & Part 2, which is kind of confusing. And also very ambitious, especially with no Fresh Prince. This isn't the Hunger Games, so good luck with that. Who am I kidding, this will make shit tons of money....Ok, I'm actually very bored writing about this.

10. Jurassic World

News says it's directed by Colin Trevorrow, whose breakout project was Safety Not Gauranteed, so he's an indie guy. Maybe two dinosaurs will fall in love and listen to the shins together! Jurassic World stars Chris Pratt and Judy Greer.

11. Rambo 5

Sylvester says he's started to train for it. According to Screenrant, he's going to battle a Mexican drug cartel threat, which sounds like a totally new and original idea to me.

12. Rounders 2

Something about a card game in Paris. Matt Damon's in, and my guess is that his poker-addicted character will go to Paris for one last job before he retires. Harvey Weinstein is producing it after some boring Hollywood Miramax business split-off merger or whatever who cares.

13. Magic Mike XXL

Of course this movie's release will be a Movie Mumbo Jumbo main event showdown. The E! news says that production just started! Everyone wag yo dicks around at each other in celebration because this is happening! It's being shot as we speak! Soderbergh is pushing it forward, and he didn't wait until Channing Tatum was 72 to do it. Soderbergh is not directing, but is doing all of the other important jobs (DP, editor, cameraman). AND AND AND the best news of all is that it will be a straight up stripper movie unlike the first. It's a sequel so they plan to "swing for the fences" according to Tatum. Tatum also said that the whole movie is a bunch of shiny dudes, wildly swinging their dicks all over the place including on fences, at a stripper convention. Or something like that.

14. Taken 3

Bryan Mills, played by Liam Neesom, has really bad luck. And I don't know why people keep messing with him. He has a special set of skills. Haven't they learned that yet? Here's the proof of this movie.

15. Zoolander 2

This is majorly TBD. I've been waiting for this for years. And thank goodness Ben Stiller is in awesome shape and STILL totally looks like a hot young supermodel. Ben Stiller produced, directed, and co-wrote the first one, and according to news he would be writing the new script with Justin Theroux, who will be directing it. Lady Gaga was said to be offered a role at one point. But in most recent news, it seems as though Stiller is too busy to do it right now. He's a hollywood big shot, and I want to see Zoolander 2!

16. Clerks III

Kevin Smith was clearly stoned when he tweeted this. However, he wrote the script and it was going to get made by the Weinsteins until they saw that it would cost 6 million bones (not very much money for them). But Kevin Smith tweeted this summer that it will still be made. I wouldn't know what to expect from this sequel, but I would hope that it wouldn't be very shiny and blockbuster looking, just like the old ones. The 6 million dollar budget tells me that might be true.

Honorable Mention:

Three more ridiculous sequels that we are definitely NOT going to go see but deserve a mention are Shakespeare in Love 2 Horrible Bosses 2 Men in Black 4

What the!?

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years ago

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Top 10 Characters Tumblr Could Not Make Into Sexual Icons

We’ve seen it all here on Tumblr. Once-ler, Jack Frost, Kylo Ren, we’ve all been around the block and seen characters that do and that don’t make sense become sexualized to an extreme degree. Tumblr’s really good at that. But I think there is a line somewhere, and there are some characters even Tumblr couldn’t convince you could conceivably be sex icons.

Here they are:

10. ET

ET is a friendly little brown alien, and also incredibly unappealing sexually speaking. Look at him; he looks like a big brown lump with a weird giraffe neck. There is no way anyone could possibly find something erotic about this alien, no matter how many pornos of him the Cinema Snob is forced to watch.

9. Amigara Fault Things

Those holes were meant for them, but they have no holes meant for you. Tumblr would have a real hard time selling these weird noodle people as sex icons. Slenderman at least had a suit, these people are naked and creepy. It’s just not possible to make these things sexy.

8. Mojo

Tumblr is all about body positivity, but even they would have a had time convincing anyone Mojo, the head honcho of Mojoworld, could possibly be a sex icon. The guy is literally a blob of fat; he doesn’t even have a spine, for Pete’s sake! I know Tumblr loves to go for anything, but I think this is one they’re gonna stay well away from,

7. SkekSil

There’s a huge furry community on Tumblr, and yes, sometimes birds get the furry treatment… but does anyone really think the simpering, whining SkekSil could ever get people to yiff? I sure don’t. That’s why he’s on the list.

6. Snoke

Tumblr sure does love sexualizing Star Wars characters, from their desire to see Luke gay to their pushing of awful ships like Reylo. But I think even Tumblr’s Star Wars fandom would think twice about trying to make Snoke the poster child of raw Sith sexuality. Sure, he has power, and that really sick bathrobe, but that face is too hard a sell even for Tumblr.

5. Sloth

Sloth is big, buff, a nice guy… you know there are tons of folks who eat that shit up. But he is mentally handicapped and extremely deformed, so I want to believe Tumblr would see how fucked up that is and not try and make him a sex icon. Restraint is good sometimes.

4. Salad Fingers

I understand there are people out there who would fuck anything, but you have to draw the line somewhere. Can this be the line? Can you try not to fuck the creepy green finger guy? There’s just no chance Salad Fingers could ever reach memetic sex status of fellow green man, the Once-ler.

3. Herbert

Tumblr has a lot of MAPs and pedos on it, but even so, I think everyone can agree that resident Quahog child molester Herbert could never become a sex icon.

2. Vince Vaughn Norman Bates

Anthony Perkins’ Norman Bates? Yeah, sure. I can see that. Perkins was pretty damn hot, and we all love sexy serial killers now and then. But Vince Vaughn literally looks like an anthropomorphized lump of clay; please, for the love of god, do not try and make him a sex symbol.

1. Dikachu

Maybe this is cheating, because Dikachu is from a porno. But you look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t lose all hope in humans as a species if you saw Tumblr turning Dikachu into the latest sex symbol of our time.

#Shitpost #sex icons #list #countdown

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michuno-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Don't you fucking talk shit about Steve you mother fucker. I'll have you know he's a beautiful soul with a heart of gold. The Steve I know would look at this sentence and laugh it off but I say no more! You people love to just talk shit about him being ugly but have you even looked at yourselves? He's a fucking sexy stud horse who has been in many major movies. How many major movies have you been in? Fucking zero that's how many. He's also won two, count them, TWO Screen Actors Guild Awards. I bet you shit sippers have never even gazed upon one of those sexy trophies. But wait am I done with his awards? Hell fucking no I'm not. This immaculate example of a man also won a goddamn Golden fucking Globe. Not just that but did you know he was a fucking WRESTLER in highschool?! He could wreck your shit after talking to him like that. Not just that but he also worked as a fucking FIREMAN. Who the fuck else do you know in your miserable lives that would ever work multiple fucking 12 hour shifts searching through the fucking rubble of the WTC looking for people? Nobody that's fucking who. And he sure as shit wasn't done there, he even advocated for firemen to get higher wages. Then he got arrested for trying to prevent a firehouse from being SHUT DOWN. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH HE RISKED FOR THAT? That'll probably be more than you ever do for those fucking life saving HEROES. One time Steve Buscemi actually stepped in front of a mother fucking KNIFE in order to protect Vince Vaughn's paisly ass. And last but certainly not least THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN IS MARRIED TO A HOT VIXEN OF A WIFE WHO HE LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY. So for those of you that whine and say ewwww Steve Buscemi and cry please kindly go fuck yourself. He overcame hardships to get where he's at today and for you to just say fuck it's old creepy Steve Buscemi is a goddamn travesty you milk lickers

#copypasta #steve buscemi #I found this on reddit #and all I could think was #damn if this ain't me

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romcomathon2016 · 7 years ago

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Wedding Crashers (USA, 2005)

Predictions: Alex owns this movie, and we have both seen it several times, although not terribly recently. Nothing to predict.

Plot: Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are best friends. And divorce mediators, although that’s ultimately completely irrelevant. In their apparently copious spare time when not mediating divorces, they have an...interesting hobby -- crashing weddings to hook up with girls. Boy, do these two dudes have a lot of energy for crashing weddings. It looks exhausting to us, going to wedding after wedding, lying about your identity, and dancing into the wee hours of the night just to get some ass, but okay. Some people...love to small-talk????

Anyway, one day, Vince Vaughn gets the bright idea to crash the wedding of the daughter of Treasury Secretary Christopher Walken, because, you know, that seems wise. Owen Wilson reluctantly goes along with this and, whoops, immediately falls in love with Christopher Walken's other daughter, Rachel McAdams. While Vince Vaughn hooks up with daughter #3, Isla Fisher. Man, Christopher Walken has some hot daughters, and man, do they have different personalities from each other. Daughter #1, whom we barely see at all, seems like a normal rich daughter. Rachel McAdams is, of course, the predictably down-to-earth other daughter. And then Isla Fisher, the extra daughter...is just nuts. Also very sexually aggressive. Maybe she gets it from their mom, sexual predator Jane Seymour, who at one point forces Owen Wilson to feel her up. Their gay younger brother (who is what, maybe 18?! yikes) has also gotten the sexual-predator gene, it seems. He creeps on Vince Vaughn in the middle of the night. (Christopher Walken also creeps on Vince Vaughn in the middle of the night, but not in a sexual way. WHAT IS UP WITH THIS FAMILY????)

Anyway, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn lie their way into a post-wedding weekend getaway with the psycho fam + Rachel McAdams's cartoonishly terrible boyfriend Bradley Cooper (HOW HAVE THEY BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3.5 YEARS????) + some of Bradley Cooper's almost-as-terrible friends. At many points, it is clear that they have gotten in over their heads and should leave, but Owen Wilson refuses, because Rachel McAdams's beautiful face has turned his head and changed his entire wedding-crashing personality. Poor Vince Vaughn gets beaten up, trampled, and literally shot in the ass on a hunting trip, and still Owen Wilson, world's worst friend, refuses to give up on banging Rachel McAdams. Who is engaged. Normal stuff, guys. Normal stuff. But honestly, Cartoon Villain Bradley Cooper is so unbearably awful that we are kind of rooting for her to cheat on him. Impressive, Bradley Cooper. Impressive.

Eventually, the truth emerges, and obviously Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are kicked out of the wedding vacation home. Isla Fisher does not seem to care at all that she had no idea who Vince Vaughn really was, and she and Vince Vaughn continue their weirdo romance unabated. Rachel McAdams, on the normal hand, does not wish to continue speaking to Owen Wilson/remains engaged to Cartoon Villain Bradley Cooper. Owen Wilson, after some failed stalking, falls into a depression, and he and Vince Vaughn have a falling-out. Until, eventually, due to Vince Vaughn's getting married (real quick!) to Isla Fisher, he comes around and sees the error of his ways. At Vince Vaughn and Isla Fisher's wedding, he and Rachel McAdams make up, although he does not deserve it, and make out. Right in front of Cartoon Villain Bradley Cooper's face, which we uncharacteristically approve of, because he is one of the worst secondary love interests ever to grace our screens. Owen Wilson, while also not great, is slightly better. (But really Rachel McAdams should probably leave them both. I mean, look at her. She can do better.)

Best Scene: ...What does it say about us if the best scene is that montage at the beginning where they're crashing weddings and lying to women? Don't try this at home, kids, but we kind of get a kick out of their elaborate, essentially unbelievable lies. These are lies on the level of Barney Stinson, okay? Quite frankly, it's on you if you are buying this shit.

Also, some of the early Rachel McAdams/Owen Wilson stuff is pretty charming, like when they first meet, and he thinks she is single, and she is demonstrating interest, and no one seems like a stalker.

Worst Scene: All of the scenes where somebody is not respecting somebody else's boundaries, of which there are honestly too many to list. Boy, does this group of vacationers need a sexual-harassment seminar. NO MEANS NO, practically-every-character-in-this-movie!!!!

Best Line: "But that's not the only thing they have in common. Um... They both like the color green! Like Craig's eyes, and money." -- Rachel McAdams, tanking her wedding toast, as Owen Wilson predicted she would. PRETTY HILARIOUS. Too candid, Rachel McAdams. Dial it back.

Worst Line: Please see "Worst Scene."

Highlights of the Watching Experience: All of the women in this family are so beautiful. Brunette Rachel McAdams, bringing her A-game. Isla Fisher, also looking fan-fucking-tastic. Jane Seymour, having aged better than anyone else on this earth. That other girl -- also very beautiful, for the thirty seconds we saw her. Grandma -- so homophobic. But probably pretty in her youth?!

Also, Alex's girlfriend walking through while we were talking about Christopher Walken being weird-looking and declaring (to Alex's horror) that she would have sex with him. "He is captivating!" she shouts from the bedroom, defensively, while Alex howls in disgust.

How Many POC in the Film: Weeeell… In that early wedding-crashing montage we mentioned, one of the weddings they crash is a Chinese wedding, so it is filled with Chinese people. Maybe that's the real reason we liked that montage, because the only other person of color in this entire movie was the family's black manservant. Tsk.

Alternate Scenes: The alternate ending to this movie in which Rachel McAdams came around on her own, ditched Cartoon Villain Bradley Cooper, and went in search of Owen Wilson, Non-Stalker, of her own accord. Or willingly replied to the one respectful message he sent her.

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: Worse. With the giant tagline "HIDE YOUR BRIDESMAIDS," the poster manages to turn two of (shockingly) the least sexually-predatory characters in this film into sexual predators. Not great. Not a thing that would entice us to see this movie, in the Year of Our Lord 2017. On the whole, unlike Jane Seymour, this movie has not aged well.

Score: 5.5 out of 10 no-means-no smooches. Sigh. This movie is one of the earlier/tamer/better raunchy romcoms, and we liked it quite a bit back in 2005. Ah, for the days when our less-developed understanding of consent allowed us to like so many more things. As adults, oh-so-many parts of this movie are not okay. Though, actually, the main love story is basically fine (assuming you buy the premise that a person can convincingly crash weddings in this fashion/that Owen Wilson is attractive), until those last few scenes, which make one wonder why the final scene is not Rachel McAdams getting a restraining order.

Ranking: 37, out of the 100 movies we’ve watched so far!!!!!!!!!!!!** Somewhat better than Betty White pretending to be Native American. Somewhat worse than Jennifer Aniston's penchant for mediocre but largely inoffensive films.

**How exciting, that our 100th formally-ranked movie should happen to fall on Alex’s birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!!!!!!!! Everyone wish Alex a happy birthday. Do it. DO IT. (This note was added by Kat. Obviously. ...Or was it??)

#wedding crashers #owen wilson #vince vaughn #rachel mcadams #isla fisher #2005

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mrmichaelchadler · 6 years ago

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Dragged Across Concrete

The cops-and-robbers genre is typically one that feels more accelerated than others, complete with quick cuts, witty dialogue, and narrative time jumps. S. Craig Zahler’s “Dragged Across Concrete” asks does it have to be? Extremely purposefully decelerated, even more so than his very deliberate “Bone Tomahawk” and “Brawl in Cell Block 99,” this brutal, ultra-violent film feels like an extension of Zahler’s work as a novelist, where he can work at a different pace than most filmmakers are forced to do. He takes 158 minutes to cover narrative ground that someone as kinetic as Edgar Wright would do in about 25. And the result is a film that often feels like Zahler’s most assured to date. Self-indulgent? Oh yeah. A provocation? You bet. But it’s difficult to ignore the craftsmanship and performances “Dragged Across Concrete” simply because you don’t like some of its darker themes or feel like it’s too long.

Casting Mel Gibson as a kinda racist cop who longs for the days before political correctness is clearly a provocation in and of itself. And yet Zahler and Gibson don’t lean into that aspect as much as you may expect. Gibson does his best film work in years as Brett Ridgeman, a cop on the cusp of his 60th birthday and perpetually scowling. In their opening scene, Ridgeman gets a little rough and a little racist as he and his partner Anthony Lurasetti (Vince Vaughn) are working a drug bust. Their bad behavior is filmed by a neighbor, which leads to a suspension and an incendiary scene in which Gibson, Vaughn, and their chief (played by Don Johnson) discuss the PC state of the world. Does Zahler agree that political correctness is hampering police work? Is he presenting or endorsing? He’s tantalizingly vague even as Lurasetti proclaims he’s not racist because he orders dark roast on MLK Day.

Zahler’s provocations continue in a scene that follows in which Ridgeman’s wife (Laurie Holden) talks about how she was once a liberal but the crime in their heavily black neighborhood has made her racist. Zahler is working a classical road here narratively—a man who feels cheated by life and goes to extremes to correct the bad hand he’s been dealt—but he’s lined that road with hot topic land mines. Ridgeman believes that he’s at a point where stopping the drug trade doesn’t matter as much as doing it in a PC way, so he’s going to stop playing by the rules. He then gets a tip about a money exchange that he can rob, which means retirement and moving his wife and daughter to a safer neighborhood.

Meanwhile, Zahler introduces us to another iconic character from the potboiler genre—the ex-con jumping from being behind bars to the criminal assignment. Henry Johns (Tory Kittles) comes home to find his addicted mother has been working as a prostitute to make ends meet, and he too is going to change his predicament. So Zahler presents us with a black young man and a white old man who are both going to commit crimes to change their luck. Is he asking us to compare the two? Obviously, at least a little. And yet “Dragged” never feels like a “We’re all the same” moral message movie. It’s a character piece—take whatever themes from it you choose, but don’t expect them to be highlighted or underlined.

We also have to talk about the way Zahler uses women in his films, this one in particular. They are all victims who need to be protected by the men in their lives or worse—brutally abused and murdered. Early in the film, Anthony suggests the world changed when men started saying “we’re pregnant” instead of “she’s.” Is it just a funny line? A character detail? Or does Zahler agree? And one could really argue, no spoilers, that this is a film that asserts that women shouldn't go back to work after having babies. Again, the line between commentary and misogyny feels razor thin in a way that I find fascinating but will almost certainly offend some people.

Whether or not you can roll with Zahler’s provocations is one thing, but it’s impossible not to admire how he’s developed as a filmmaker. His framing here, shot by his regular collaborator Benji Bakshi, is beautiful. Everything looks confident without calling attention to itself in a way that a lot of Tarantino and Leonard acolytes often do. Most of “Dragged” is shot in low light, especially the final hour, but Zahler has a great sense of space and blocking, which helps keeps the film engrossing. And he draws a fascinating, world-weary performance from Gibson, who reminds one how good he can be with the right material.

In every way, “Dragged Across Concrete” feels like it’s trying to challenge you. It’s a little racist, a little sexist, almost aggressively slow—we watch Vaughn eat an egg salad sandwich in what feels like real time—and incredibly violent. It is a great lost Elmore Leonard book that’s been slowed to a crawl and updated to reflect the impact of political correctness and smartphones on characters who used to be able to operate in the shadows. In a sense, it pulls the classic, tough cop characters from great fiction and drags them across the concrete, leaving everyone bloody and battered. You will feel it too.

from All Content https://ift.tt/2TRS5tj

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lilxsadxgirlx · 7 years ago

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Because I like questions

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Pandora

is your room messy or clean? Clean

what color are your eyes? Hazel

do you like your name? why? Sure, it’s alright. I like it because it’s spelt uniquely and it represents my fathers interests and my mom spelt it.

what is your relationship status? Complicately taken by a Canadian boy named Luke💞

describe your personality in 3 words or less: happy, strong willed, creative

what color hair do you have? Natural blonde boyos

what kind of car do you drive? color? 2004 grand Cherokee jeep, silver

where do you shop? I love rue 21 and forever 21 so much

how would you describe your style? Indie, hippie, with a side of Mac Demarco style

favorite social media account Instagram!

what size bed do you have? Id day it’s a full

any siblings? One brother 🤓

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Probably Hawaii or some sort of island where it’s always hot and I’m right by the beach. I feel my soul would be happy where there’s an ocean and forest next to

favorite snapchat filter? The cute bear ears or the one with the 80s glasses and the lips in the background👄

favorite makeup brand(s) I guess revolon and maybelline

how many times a week do you shower? 3-4

favorite tv show? Adventure time all the way

shoe size? 7 1/2

how tall are you? 5 ft 3in

sandals or sneakers? Sandals! Or barefoot💁🏼‍♀️

do you go to the gym? All day everyday💪🏼

describe your dream date: going on a walk next to the ocean after we have ice cream and then afterwards eating a nice meal at a dockside restaurant💗😩

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? A couple pennies and maybe a dime😂

what color socks are you wearing? None. Fug da shit

how many pillows do you sleep with? many.

do you have a job? what do you do? Yup. At a shoe store called shoe sensation. Organize shoes, ring up customers, customer service and all that good shit

how many friends do you have? Quite a few! I never really have counted... it’d take a while!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? Ouch

whats your favorite candle scent? I like vanilla or something freshhhh

3 favorite boy names:

3 favorite girl names:

favorite actor? Ryan gosling💖, Vince Vaughn, Seth rogen, Jonah Hill, james Franco

favorite actress? Jennifer Anniston😍

who is your celebrity crush? Ryan gosling dude or LEONARDO DICAPRIO

favorite movie? I love the titanic

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I wish I read more. But I can’t remember the name of my favorite book☹️

money or brains? Brains omg

do you have a nickname? what is it? Pootie. Lol childhood one. No one calls me it anymore

how many times have you been to the hospital? A couple times

top 10 favorite songs: bazzi- mine, everywhere Fleetwood Mac, little lies Fleetwood Mac, what’s that smell lynyrd skynyrd, Mac Demarco my kind of woman, blackbear ocean eyes, blackbear vertabatim, Pink Floyd us and them

do you take any medications daily? Dat controlling of my birth lol

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) it’s normal but I pop my pimples too much😩

what is your biggest fear? Becoming depressed and living a dull life

how many kids do you want? At least one but I don’t want any because this world is fucked up

whats your go to hair style? Either down or in a low ponytail

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) I live in the dorms at Barton college

who is your role model? Buddha’s, people who travel a lot and are happy. Or my dad a little but I’d say

what was the last compliment you received? Jose said I inspired him last night✨💖

what was the last text you sent? “Why?? Haha”- to tanner

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Probably 7

what is your dream car? Books wagon bus or winabago!!!

opinion on smoking? Ew. Just think of that shit in your lungs... tar and 🤮

do you go to college? Yesssss

what is your dream job? To travel or surf! Orrrr work on an island bar or cruise ship☺️

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural areas I guess

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No, shit got a lot sodium

do you have freckles? Yes and they come out more with summer♥️♥️♥️

do you smile for pictures? Yes I dooo

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 7 hundred something lol

have you ever peed in the woods? All the time, whenever I want or need to

do you still watch cartoons? I’d love to but I don’t watch tv often

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? I’m a vegetarian, boyyyy🥒

Favorite dipping sauce? Ranch🤤

what do you wear to bed? Shorts and a t shirt. Or underwear and t shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? No.. lol I overthought the word and lost

what are your hobbies? I like swimming, exercise, nature time, hiking, kayaking, crafty stuff, hanging out with friends, finding new music, beer pong, tennis♥️, painting, tubing, just a lot of nature shit lol camping too!

can you draw? Yes pretty good. Art major up in here

do you play an instrument? I play a little acoustic gutair. It’d be dope to have a ukulele

what was the last concert you saw? Dead and company in Boulder, Co!♥️

tea or coffee? Ugh. Idk... tea I guess. I love both!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks

do you want to get married? Sure💁🏼‍♀️

what is your crush’s first and last initial? Z.C.

are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah I will

what color looks best on you? A peachy pink color

do you miss anyone right now? Yeah actually. My cat more than anyone but also Christina, zari, hunter, Dallas, Erica, Braxton, cabel (Caleb), and Luke

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed since it’s a dorm

do you believe in ghosts? Yes

what is your biggest pet peeve? Loud toilets in public restrooms when they flush😩😩😩

last person you called? My dad I think!

favorite ice cream flavor? Oooo mint chocolate or pistachio

regular oreos or golden oreos? Regularrrr

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Ugh. Rainbow🌈💖

what shirt are you wearing? The grey fort hays state one JoHanna switched me out, freshmen year of high school😛

what is your phone background? Blinking eyes as flowers haha

are you outgoing or shy? Sometimes both but more bubbly

do you like it when people play with your hair? Omg yessss😩✨

do you like your neighbors? Yes! Sydney is dope as fuck but Amy is eh..

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Yep and yep! Just with water

have you ever been high? Oh yeah lmao🌤

have you ever been drunk? Yup hahaha

last thing you ate? Peanut butter🥜

favorite lyrics right now “you’re so fucking precious when you.. SMILE. Hit it from the back and drive you WILD💖”

summer or winter? SUMMER ALL THE FUCKING WAY

day or night? Dayyyyy☀️☀️☀️

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Regular. Lol so milk?

favorite month? JULY✨☺️

what is your zodiac sign CANCER MF♋️

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placetobenation · 7 years ago

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Steve’s Box Office Report: November 2007

Top 10 Films for the Month of November:

American Gangster – $130,164,645

Enchanted – $127,807,262

Bee Movie – $126,631,277

Beowulf – $82,280,579

No Country for Old Men – $74,283,625

Fred Claus – $72,006,777

This Christmas – $49,121,934

Hitman – $39,687,694

Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium – $32,061,555

August Rush – $31,664,162

Honorable Mentions:

The Mist – $25,594,957

Lions for Lambs – $15,002,854

Awake – $14,377,198

November Winners: American Gangster, Enchanted, No Country for Old Men, and This Christmas

It has been pretty safe to say that the year of 2007 has been a real roller coaster ride of a year as we started slow, picked up a bit in March, peaked throughout the summer, and has been on a downslide throughout the fall. Now we are heading into what is usually the busiest time of year with the holiday season upon us and these last two months had a lot of ground to make up after how dismal the fall has been. However, when you look at the overall scope of November 2007 all it did was pretty much continue the downward spiral that was going on even though there were a few bright spots with some of the films released this month. The first film released this month that makes it into this category is the crime drama American Gangster, a film loosely based on the real life gangster Frank Lucas and his rise to power by smuggling heroin into the USA. Despite some controversy surrounding the figures portrayed in the film, it did earn positive reviews from critics and was able to finish first in its opening weekend ahead of Bee Movie which I’m sure stunned some people and it would go on to have a pretty solid run throughout the month. The next film released this month that is a winner of the month is the animated/live action film Enchanted, a Disney film which sees an animated princess thrown into real-life New York City and try to make her way home while adjusting to reality. The film was well received from critics who enjoyed Disney taking a playful jab at their own films, and this film would play out pretty well over Thanksgiving as it had the second highest opening on Thanksgiving weekend behind only Toy Story 2 even though it was still on the lower end of Thanksgiving weekends. The third film released this month that makes it into this category is the thriller film No Country for Old Men, based on the novel of the same name which follows a Texas welder and Vietnam veteran as they struggle to survive in 1980s West Texas. It would end up being one of the best reviewed films of the year with many considering it the Coen Brothers greatest film, and it would be listed on more critics’ top 10 lists than any other film released this year which validates it as one of the best films of 2007 as it would have a good run in limited release before having a solid run after it was widely released. The fourth and final film released this month that makes it into this category is the comedy musical This Christmas, a film which sees the eldest son of a family visit them on Christmas for the first time in four years. Unlike the previous three films in this category which were well reviewed by critics, this one was not liked as much and would receive more mixed reviews, but it would end up doing mildly decent with its holiday tie-in and coming out on Thanksgiving weekend though it couldn’t hold a candle to Enchanted. So while there were some films that would go on to have solid runs throughout the holiday season, they were unable to hold a candle to the previous year and ultimately the year continued downward and the year would need a Christmas miracle to save it.

November Losers: Bee Movie, Beowulf, Fred Claus, and Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

So as I just mentioned, the month of November did have some films that would go on to have pretty good runs and make a good chunk of money, but it wasn’t enough to drag the box office out of the hole that the fall had dug. On top of that, there were several other films released this month that looked like it could’ve assisted the winners in making November a successful month, but instead you could say that it ended up just being more weight that dragged down the month and helped lead to it being underwhelming in terms of previous Novembers. The first film released this month that ends up being one of the losers of the month is the animated film Bee Movie, a film which sees a bee try to sue the human race for exploiting his fellow bees for honey. Despite coming out right at the beginning of the month and with October having been devoid of any family films, this should’ve been the prime spot for Bee Movie to make a good amount of money going into Thanksgiving before Enchanted came out. However, the middling reviews ended up hurting it in the long run and after finishing second in its opening weekend to American Gangster, it was all downhill from there as it would be lapped easily by Enchanted though it did end up finishing in the top three for the month which considering how much it made isn’t much of a compliment. The second film released this month that ends up being a loser of the month is the fantasy film Beowulf, loosely based on the epic poem that sees the hero come to Denmark to protect the people from a monster and his mother. The film would end up receiving positive reviews from critics despite the way it was filmed and its differences from the novel, but it wasn’t enough to draw the mainstream to it and it would lead the least attended mid-November weekend in 14 years which one could argue ended up being the lowest point of this whole year. The third film released this month that ends up being put in this category is the holiday comedy film Fred Claus, a film which sees Santa Claus’ brother Fred return to the North Pole to work for Santa to earn money needed only to cause problems between the two. Despite the holiday tie-in and having Vince Vaughn as the star when he was still at his drawing best, the film would end up being poorly reviewed from critics and would crumble under the weight of Bee Movie and Enchanted. It wouldn’t be the only family film to suffer as the fourth and final film released this month that ends up being a loser is the film Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, a film where an eccentric owner of a magic toy shop takes a struggling pianist under his wing to eventually take over his shop when he leaves. Despite positive feedback for the performances of Natalie Portman and Jason Bateman, the film would receive poor reviews from critics and would end up debuting under Bee Movie and Fred Claus before being completely crushed by Enchanted and it would barely make it into the top 10 of the month. This has to be one of the first times since doing these recaps that in a month that saw so many family films released in one month after a month where none were released, only one film broke out which was Enchanted while the others that are in this category either underwhelmed or pretty much tanked completely which led to the overall underperforming of the month.

The Surprise/Story of November 2007: Gangsters overtake princesses and bees to win underwhelming November 2007

So as I had mentioned earlier in the recap, 2007 has been on a bad downward slide throughout the fall after a pretty hot summer and it was supposed to be around this time when things would turn around and the year would end on a high note. However for whatever reason, the doldrums that the box office had become throughout the fall continued here into November and it was a major step backwards especially when you compare to last year at this time. To put it into a bit of perspective, the last month saw no films aimed at families released and this month alone saw four films released that were geared towards families with one tying in the holiday season. However, only two films managed to break the $100 million mark which were Enchanted and Bee Movie with Enchanted finishing just ahead of Bee Movie by a mere $1 million. But even with four family films being released this month, they all ended up playing second fiddle to American Gangster which finished with just over $130 million which may look impressive if it was released in one of the other down months. But coming out in a month that saw a family film make almost $200 million the previous year, there is only one word that can describe this month and it was in fact “underwhelming” as the box offices blahs continue and now it comes down to December to salvage the year.

Overachiever of November 2007: No Country for Old Men

This was an interesting month in that the family films that were released this month either did fairly decent like Enchanted and Bee Movie or underperformed like Fred Claus (more on that in the next category). It looked like there would be a film that would go on to have a very successful run similar to Borat last year which was a surprise hit, but this year didn’t see that happen as none of the other films ended up overperforming and lift the month up. In terms of what film would be considered to be the overachiever of the month, the only film that really met the criteria was the film No Country for Old Men. After having a solid run on the limited circuit, the film would go wide on Thanksgiving weekend and would end up playing very well throughout the months behind great reviews from critics who considered it one of the greatest films of the decade. We will get into the film’s success in a few categories from now which as mentioned would help validate it as one of the best films of the year, and as such earns its spot as the overachiever of the month.

Underachiever of November 2007: Fred Claus

As I have mentioned a few times in the last year and a half that I’ve done this report, either the overachiever or underachiever of the month would be an easy choice for one and a hard choice for the other one. In this case, the overachiever was a bit difficult to choose while choosing an underachiever was a bit easier considering there were a bit more options to choose from. Given that there were four family films released this month and half of them underwhelmed, it was more than likely that one of them would be declared the underachiever of the month and sure enough that comes to fruition as my choice for underachiever of the month is Fred Claus. As mentioned in the loser of the month category, Vince Vaughn was still a pretty bankable star at this point and it was interesting to see him in a movie like this playing Santa’s older brother, and given how close to the holidays the film was released it seemed like a no-brainer that it would do well. Instead, the film was panned by critics who felt Vaughn was out of place in a family film and coming out a week after Bee Movie and two weeks before Enchanted, it proved to be a disaster and the film would quickly bottom out by the time Christmas rolled around. You know you’re in big trouble when a film based around Christmas that is released around Christmas ends up tanking, and it goes to show that simply having the Christmas presence isn’t enough to make money during the holiday and it ends up being a microcosm as to how underwhelming the month was.

November 2007 Awards Watch: American Gangster, Enchanted, Bee Movie, No Country for Old Men, August Rush, and Awake

As we head into the end of the year, everyone knows that it was now time for the bulk of the awards contenders to come out around this time and attempt to make some good money going into the ceremonies. This month saw a very unique group of films released that ranged from positive reviews to negative reviews, and it would be interesting to see which ones would get the nod in any of the three award shows. The first film from this month that makes it in this category is American Gangster as it would be nominated for two Academy Awards (Best Supporting Actress and Best Art Direction) though it wouldn’t win either, and it would also be nominated for 3 Golden Globe Awards (Best Picture – Drama, Best Actor – Drama, and Best Director) though it wouldn’t win any of those either. The second film released this month that makes it here is Enchanted as it would be nominated for one Academy Award (Best Original Song for three different songs) though none of them would win, and it would also be nominated for two Golden Globe Awards (Best Actress – Musical or Comedy and Best Original Song) though it wouldn’t win either one. The next film from this month that gets into this category is Bee Movie which would be nominated for one Golden Globe Award (Best Animated Picture) though it wouldn’t win and so far the November films are not having much success though that would change with the next film. The next film from this category that makes it in here is No Country for Old Men which would win four Academy Awards (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Adapted Screenplay) and this would be the most wins for a film in this year’s ceremony, and it would also be nominated for four more awards (Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Cinematography, and Best Film Editing). The film would also win two Golden Globe Awards (Best Supporting Actor and Best Screenplay) while also being nominated for two more (Best Picture – Drama and Best Director) which would solidify its standing as one of the best films of the year. The next film released this month that makes it into this category is the drama August Rush, a film about a piano prodigy who tries to learn about his past while his mother was also looking for him. Despite the poor reviews from critics, the film would end up receiving one Academy Award nomination (Best Original Song) though it wouldn’t win and was one of the lower end films to get a nomination. The sixth and final film from this month to get included in this category is the thriller Awake, a film about a man who remains conscious during surgery and uncovers a murder attempt against him by his girlfriend. The film would be panned by critics and would be the only film in this month to receive any Golden Raspberry Award nominations as it received two (Worst Actress and Worst Screen Couple) though it wouldn’t win either one. It is pretty interesting considering how underwhelming the month ended up being in terms of money made, yet a bunch of films managed to snag plenty of award nominations and victories which is quite a testament to those films succeeding despite being in a disappointing month.

Overall Thoughts of November 2007:

So overall, it is pretty safe to say that even though this month did fare better than some of the other months of the year, November 2007 ends up being probably the most disappointing month of the year to this point. As mentioned, the fall of 2007 has been very dismal and this was the chance to turn things around and end the year on a high note much like we saw last year, but ultimately November ends up continuing that downward trend and the entire box office appears to be in a slide going into December. Now the month was not a complete failure unlike other months like January and October as a few films did crack $100 million and did fairly well, but again they would’ve been more impressive in another month and not a month like November that’s supposed to be one of the big months of the year. 2007 has been quite the year for the box office as it has had its high points (mainly the summer) and certainly its low points (January and the fall), and coming off this month which ended up being pretty disappointing it is now up to December to try and end the year on a high note. As for the month of November 2007, it is a pretty disappointing month that continues the box office blahs that the fall had brought on.

Final Grade: C

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

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chadpetersondatingblog · 7 years ago

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Short Dating Profile Examples: Over 30 Fun Bios

Similar to how explaining a joke ceases to make it funny, overkill in your dating profile can suck the intrigue out or a first encounter. Too much information can come off as overbearing, leave you with a conversation void on a first date, or simply take up way too much of your time and energy. Below are over 30 short dating profile examples and ideas for some short and sweet approaches to writing your bio that will help you knock this annoying task off your list and get you swiping sooner.

Approach 1: Keep It To The Facts If you had to whittle yourself down to an elevator conversation, what would make the cut? Three to five quick and essential thoughts in your About Me will do the trick, so long as they’re memorable enough for someone to remember you.

1. Natural redhead, unnaturally good at limbo contests, hates seafood but loves goldfish crackers

2. Top 5 movies: Amelie, Se7en, Moulin Rouge, The Emperor’s New Groove, Wet Hot American Summer.

3. I have a twin brother, no he doesn’t look like me, DO NOT EVEN ASK IF WE ARE IDENTICAL.

4. My #1 vacation destination is the Minnesota State Fair, and I don’t understand why it doesn’t make more appearances on Insider.

5. I majored in art. I work as a writer. One Art Degree for sale, perfect condition, $35,000 OBO.

6. I’m afraid of heights, and I can’t swim, so let’s do some land activities.

Pick A Fave And Roll With It Is there a movie you know every line to? An album that shaped your entire adult identity? A hobby you turned into an Etsy empire? Share a quick blurb about it. Those who respond will find a huge part of your life intriguing, and that’s a great place to start.

7. All I want is someone who can sing the Elephant Love Medley Duet from Moulin Rouge with me. My sister could do it, but she always makes me be the boy.

8. You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted a bacon peanut butter chocolate malt from Five Guys. If you’d like to argue with me, I’d be HAPPY to do a taste test.

9. I know every word of the ten-season run of Friends by heart, and my next goal in life is to watch them en Español until I know Spanish.

10. What’s your favorite Jonas Brothers song and why? Mine is Good Night and Goodbye, and in the following dissertation I will explain in detail why they were the best boy band of all time. (cont.)

11. Three years ago I started a book club. We mostly read wine labels.

12. My mood is either the end of Monument Valley, or the end of Inside. Never in between.

13. Sriracha makes everything better.

Obscure References FTW If you’re not that into pleasantries and small talk, this is a great way to comb through the weeds when it comes to meaningful connections. Go with a line from a TV show that always busts your gut, a not-so-famous historical quote that you identify with, or a nod to your neighborhood’s best kept secret, and those who get the reference are automatically in the club.

14. 42

15. People tend to overlook Vince Vaughn’s most brilliant and nuanced work as “Luke Zoolander.”

16. Do you think Postmates will deliver me a plate of chicken drummies from the Nan’s menu circa 1994?

17. I’m more of a Russ than a Ross.

18. I shot first.

19. Oh to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, with all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves; let me forget about today until tomorrow…

Lead With A Teaser Some may call this click bait, but hey, whatever opens the door to conversation… Tell a joke, but leave out the punch line, post a pic of you with a celebrity and a caption alluding to the insane story, anything that comes off as quirky or intriguing will leave people dying to chat with you.

20. I dare you to ask me what happened when I met Snoop Dogg at a wrestling event in New York City.

21. Look I’m not good at a lot of things, but I can do my make up to look exactly like Blanche Devereaux from Golden Girls, so we should go clubbing.

22. What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland?

23. I have the greatest idea for an app of all time, please inquire if you’re interested in investment opportunities.

24. A/S/L? …No I don’t want to know yours, I want you to guess mine.

25. Of all the things you could walk out of a Jonas Brothers Meet and Greet with, you wouldn’t think it would be a banana. And yet…

Let Your Social Do The Talking Your social media accounts likely give a pretty well rounded view of who you are as a person, so skipping the cheesy intros and just linking to or referencing the one you’re most active on cuts out the boring middle man. Plus it gives your potentials permission to stalk you, which, let’s be real, they were going to do anyway. At least this way, you own it.

26. Share your top pinned tweet—It’s usually the one that has gotten the most attention. Mine says “I’m tired the way old people are tired at the end of their lives.”

27. Link to your Instagram page—fire selfies and all the delicious food you could be cooking for your future partner… it’s a no-brainer.

28. Download and share a particularly good Snapchat story—Nobody wouldn’t love a 14 second snap of your roommate’s cat being a weirdo.

29. Share the results of your latest Buzzfeed quiz—In case you were wondering, based on my favorite kind of bread, Ryan Gosling is my husband.

30. Link to your list of Twitter faves—They’ll get a good sense of what makes you laugh, your political stance, or whatever it is you choose to focus on on a regular basis.

31. Share the latest Facebook-generated word cloud you made—the center of my last one was my mom’s name, which I know isn’t that appealing, but it’s a conversation starter to say the least.

You can use any of these approaches or a combination to get you started on a short, but sweet dating profile bio, but no matter which approach you take, the key is to be warm, fun, and engaging. If you can infuse some humor or an interesting talking point into your description, people are going to want to get to know you.

The post Short Dating Profile Examples: Over 30 Fun Bios appeared first on The Date Mix.

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ashleyjacksonblog · 7 years ago