#at least during my shift
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having a job is awesome sometimes i bought three chrimmas gifts today
#black friday actually was really not that bad at my job#at least during my shift#just me rambling again#i got a cute customized ornament for my parents online during my lunch break#it seemed really cute im hoping it turns out :3#i also got my dad some video game themed pj pants#im planning to get my mom a few months subscription to awesome socks club#major tmi warning as you continue oopsie its my online diary that the masses are able to consume i can get hashtag silly#xmas gift for myself i ordered 2 fancyish vibrators im having to force myself to come to terms with the fact that there is no shot at me#acquiring a partner anytime soon so i may as well invest in myself yknow#AND its an especially good investment as ive been heavily heavily reconsidreing wanting to go on testosterone at some point#i thought for a while i would never want to but the past few months ive been super debating looking more into it#BUT the major downside to going on t would be the. feralness? that many experience#so yknow#i dont talk sexuality much on tumblr dot com but i figure im an adult now so no one can really be mad at me abt it
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Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)
#gw2#sylvari#artgallery#mourynn#mourynn art#I've just been so tired lately bc of work#also just going a bit stir crazy with the silence (lonely; but alas I unfortunately suck at starting convos bc I have nothing interesting t#talk about and work has been draining my social energy; making it even harder :( (I'd rather burn the social energy with friends yknow?)#it's getting a wee bit better; but I haven't had much time or energy to even game while we're in the midst of our busiest season :(#I miss hanging out and chatting with my buds; but the universe insists on keeping us apart :(#just miss having something to look forward to throughout my day. Been trying to fill it with other things; but the depresso is overriding i#Mostly just been me with my thoughts and that is just bad bc I got so many horrors in there lmao.#I wanna at the very least; draw more or game more to distract from it; but work is sapping all my time and energy from it.#but also it's very quiet on my end and it's kicking my overthinking into overdrive so I#Ive just been fighting with my mind lately lmao#hopefully this will all pass soon so I won't obsessively keep thinking about it loll#lol I'd post this in the servers but it's vent art so it feels a bit weird to do; so it's going straight to home video w/o a theater releas#hopefully once work calms down it'll help#(I have so many long shifts makes me so frustrated bc I hate them and I run out of steam half way through)#other than all that I'm doing fine lol. My brain's always been like this; But I usually only get like this during the winter season#(bc of the holidays making everything quiet and also the SAD) so it feels weird having this exact same feeling happen to me in July lol
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Technical Difficulties
#the graveyard shift#the graveyard shift au#michael afton#mike schmidt#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#doug houser#dark deception#lost my apple pen again#but nothing happened during hurricane hillary#so at least theres that#new pen comes on friday#penless doodle
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I have dayshift in 4 hours why am I still awake?
I ask myself as I reopen YouTube to watch a 3 hour playthrough of a game I've watched for the 3rd time that day.
#throwing my hands up#I am gonna be so mean during my shift#maybe I can get Nightwing to turn into Daywing...#Maybe even at least Afternoonwing#dc rp#duke thomas#duke thomas rp
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Aight I've heard the whole "the normal amount of pain is zero" thing but like how much pain is the normal amount after relatively strenuous and/or unusual activity? Like when you're doing stuff you wouldn't necessarily normally do and you're not used to it? By that I mean being on your feet for four to five hours lol I have no idea how people work eight-hour shifts at my job
#bambi's rambling#tbh its not too bad as long as i can keep moving because then its not as painful as standing#but after a while it gets *bad*#i started doing some exercises for planar fasciitis but that only helps it not hurt for the entire rest of the day anymore after i get home#it doesnt stop it from hurting during my shift#idk maybe i'm overthinking this and its just a normal amount of pain for working on your feet?#btw when I say 'strenuous and unusual activity' I mean for me#I wasn't on my feet nearly as much before I got this job a few months ago#i'm just mildly curious if the foot/knee pain from standing is normal or if it'll go way eventually lol#i mean there's a good chance i'm just overreacting about this anyway i feel like it cant be that serious yknow?#nobody acts like its weird when i tell them so its gotta be some level of normal at least#maybe its just cause i only work three days of the week and thats not enough to get used to it or something idk#i'm only at this job for a couple more weeks so its not a big deal tbh it wont be much longer
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Graveyard Shift Harumi would watch Life Eater and have a panic attack, identity crisis, and morality crisis all at once
#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago harumi#the graveyard shift#my au#my au tag#ninjago ghost au#ghost au#ninjago au#life eater#indie horror game#horror#guys trust me that game would have her spiraling#she’d watch it during a sleepover with Lloyd and have to suppress the most intense panic attack#at least before the Reveal
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can't stop thinking abt the canon summers where ronan and gansey play tennis together someone help
#i know they kissed at least once precanon I know they did and it was during one of those summers#also whichever one of u put that post on my timeline some months ago abt gansey buying ronan a collar... u shifted the timeline#ronsey
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I got a job as a bookseller!!!
#nat talks#listen. it's not the dream bc I've already worked in a bookstore and it's actually terrible at times#but I only really worked during holidays and people were just so rude#BUT I do have higher hopes for this location#also I tentatively know two people who work there so it will be fun!#it's a sub role and a little unclear if I'll only work during christmas and the book sale in feb or more#it depends on if the people who are on sick leave will return and when#but I can keep freelancing and apply for corporate jobs I want in the meantime#at the very least I can work during december either way and if I end up finding something else maybe I can work weekends during the booksal#so to not let them down too much#I honestly am just looking forward to getting out of the house and meeting people and working with my body more#because my mind is very fried#I have a short shift tomorrow to train#then I'll see when I'll officially start but it will probably be soon!#I've had a very busy few days so I wish I had said I could do my training shift next week#bc they gave the option of this wednesday or next#but I didn't want to turn it into a “thing” by letting too much time pass bc I might get anxious about it#but now I wish I had lmao I'm tired#also forgot I was gonna be home alone with the dog tomorrow#had been looking forward to it tbh#oh wellll#work stuff
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Did you find your shop employee or not yet?
Hired one yesterday! She was the first to send an application she wrote her very self that wasn't basically just referring to messages I'd received from her mother.
#i'm in good faith#i don't often have kids that've had previous jobs but she's worked at one of the local groceries that it turns out after speaking to her#treats their part timers like ✨️shit✨️ in the ✨️illegal sense✨️#see: chronic understaffing and not always letting them on break during 9hr shifts#so hopefully she'll be bored half to death up here but at least the customers treat u a lot nicer#i dont give my employees breaks either but the shifts are half an hour shorter than the break requirement (5.5hrs or more. mine are 5hrs)#and youre welcome to spend downtime however you want as long as theres someone there when a customer walks in
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never been so glad not to work a friday
#op works at a record store#our delivery of the new t sw*ft album is coming in TOMORROW#during RECORD STORE DAY#never been so pissed i have to work a saturday#tomorrow is gonna be hell and i dont mean that lightly#i am Not Excited#fuck off lou#my post#like listen i love my job#but the least enjoyable aspect of it is customer service#and i am working for nine hours tomorrow#NINE#8-5 shift#fucking gross#still#at least when its over i wont have to dread anything until like. november
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ily bakugou katsuki u are the only thing that hasn't pissed me off today
#today i was basically told that i have to take all of my breaks at work back to back to back within one hour two hours after i clock in#which means that i don't get a break at all later during the night so i don't fucking Want that but i have no other choice because#i'm basically being cornered into doing it by one of the managers who texted my department lead and said i tried to get someone to#cover me for my break at “almost 7 when everyone is going home” which is a fucking lie i asked at 6#who the fuck wants to take all of their breaks in one hour two hours after they start their eight hour shift#i asked for someone to cover me at 6 because i had to use the bathroom really fucking badly and she was like#“why didn't you take them while the midshift was here” the midshift has a three hour overlap with my shift and i have to be clocked in#for at least two hours before i take any breaks at all and i don't want to take all of my breaks at once that soon#ONE HOUR BEFORE MY COWORKER LEAVES#and like we both have stuff to do????#all three breaks two hours into my shift then nothing for the next six fucking hours funniest joke i've ever heard in my entire life#except it's not a joke because it's from a manager so if i don't do this stupid ass shit i could get disciplined or fired#because they don't want to send anyone to cover for me#you know what's even funnier? i am the ONLY PERSON scheduled for these fucking 2-10 shifts except for our full time guy#my other coworkers? 4-10. i don't want this fucking 2-10 shift get me the fuck OFF OF IT#EATS MY ENTIRE FUCKING DAY#i woke up at 8:30am this morning and it still felt like my entire goddamn day was stolen from me because i wake up have time to myself for#about 5 hours out of my whole day then i have to get ready and get my ass to work until the end of the fucking day#tag rant#tag vent#bakugou katsuki#i feel like this is something i should call my union rep about but idk
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I'm about to kill everyone at my job.
#i have been on too many solo shifts for a kiosk that requires at least 2 people during rushes.#how are you gonna put 3-4 people on during morning shifts and 1 person on a solo 6 hour dinner rush AND close???#im gonna lose it#my body is actually falling apart
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i can not even begin to explain how stressful the last two days have been at work
#yapping#my job is super chill 90% of the time... like i literally get paid to do nothing often#unironically most of my drawings are started and completed during my work hours thats how non busy it is#but these last few days have been insane.. i need all our clients to drop dead this second for the sake of the entire teams sanity#i almost cried from stress yesterday at one point#i need my companys CEO to stop liking me and having faith in me ngl#IT DOESNT PAY OFF TO BE LIKED BY YOUR BOSS#cause it just means hell give u more responsibilities that he doesnt trust other people with :'^)#ppl were genuinely thinking of quitting this week 😭😭😭😭#i have faith itll get back to normal soon though#today is already chill compared to the previous days#yesterday i was on three phonecalls at the same time all while texting with the CEO nonstop for hours#and all of that while actually doing whats my literal job in the background#i stayed an hour longer to finish the report i make at the end of my shifts#my dad got mad at me for staying longer (he was at ny apartment at the time)#but man what else can i do its so insane#also i did not report my overtime to anyone cause i wanted to do my report in peace without having to multitask 10 things as well#the money for that one hour isnt worth the stress xjdjdnhdhdhdj#im yapping now but GOD its been so bad#at least we all got $100 bonuses SIGH#ive already spent that money in my mind ngl#lowkey spent it irl as well not just in my mind
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I want to rot and go home and find an apartment and meet a friend and study Portuguese and go to my boyfriend and I should work but it is not happening
#snicksnack#evening shift without my boss is <//3#at least when he’s here I can ask him all the things there’s not time for during the day when he’s doing 4900 other things#now I’m just here… waiting
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Shower done hoorayyy
#shut up alli#my cycle stared in the middle of it though LMAOOOO#so ig this is how it’s going so far:#1st day: here is what an opening shift kind of looks like!#2nd day: here is what a closing shift looks like!#3rd & 4th day: here are shifts you are going to want to die the whole time during look like!!!!!!!!#goddamn it dudddeee#oh and of course my dumb ass joins close to Christmas so the holiday storm for retailers is on too#oh well at least if I start with the worst scenarios it can only get better!#i sound sarcastic on that but it’s kinda true
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one thing that being out in the "real world" so far has taught me at least is that I Am Definitely A Lesbian. getting gayer by the day in fact.
#at least i think. maybe its comphet maybe i do have like two fictional men im attracted to.#key word being fictional. ive never understood attraction to real men even during the two crushes on men ive had in my entire life.#im not going to deny my attraction's existence at those times but they were based off an image i had of the people in my head#feeling romantic attraction is a very rare occasion for me (im somewhat arospec) but of the three crushes ive had ever#the one on a woman was the most real#anyways ive been having this label shift for around a year now and i finally feel like im growing into it#and i dont feel like theres plausible deniability anymore either. its starting to just feel like me.
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