#yesterday i was on three phonecalls at the same time all while texting with the CEO nonstop for hours

[dzozef]

i can not even begin to explain how stressful the last two days have been at work

[ladybugsfanfics]

Shut Up And Kiss Me [11/?]

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Style: Multichapter

WC: 2k

Warnings: mention of blackout, exstreme awkwardness, 

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with. 

A/N: aaaa, i have been so absent, I know. This has taken forever, but now I can promise you I’m gonna be back. Not only will this, hopefully be updated more often (I have inspiration), but I also got like a ton of writing mojo (wrote 4k words yesterday) and a Loki!Piarate au is soon done and i have other shits, my requests are becoming easier though turns out they’re getting long. Anyways, I hope this can please you and I hope to be able to post more in the coming time. I love you all so much ^_^ P.S. it’s close to christmas and a christmas party... ;)

Previous | Seires Masterlist | Part Twelve

You can’t place the feeling. Not really. All you know is that something feels… off. Wrong. 

It’s Sunday, three days since halloween and you met Emma’s friends. Even though that was fun and all, the night could have been better had you stuck with the people you know. Not only would you be able to continue to get Tom being nice (which had your heart race a mile a minute), but you could also, maybe, have more fun seeing as you wouldn’t panic everytime you said something. 

However, three days later, something feels off. You’re not even sure if it has anything to do with Halloween (if it has anything to do with Tom lending you his coat because you were barely dressed in your costume),  or if it has something to do with the fact that you have no recollection of what you did last night. 

All you know is that something is not as it should be. 

You try to shake off the feeling and reach for your phone, where it lies on your nightstand. The clock on it reads 07.39 AM and you curse your annoying drunk self for always making sure you wake up early―it’s not that you go to bed early, no rather late actually (like you gotta stay up ‘til at least 3 AM), but more that whenever you do get drunk, you actually fall asleep right away and you actually sleep. Maybe that’s the cure. 

Despite wanting to continue your slumber, you decide to get up. Maybe you can figure out what’s giving you this feeling of something being amiss. 

One slightly wrong, though not that surprising, thing lies on your couch. Y/BFF/N has their face half planted in one of your pillows, though the angle works for them to breathe. One arm hangs loosely off the couch and their legs have tangled themselves in a blanket, where one is thrown over the back of the couch. You have no idea how that can be comfortable, and you bet they’ll tell you how much they regret it when they wake up. 

Yet, you know that’s not the feeling that haunts you. Seeing your best friend crashing on your couch is not a rare sight, though it is becoming rarer as time passes. 

Nothing is amiss in your apartment. Everything where you left it when you went out last night, even the now half-full bottle of wine you opened before leaving that sits on your countertop. 

The mystery continues, but the answers are not in your apartment. One thing’s for sure, you’re not about to go out and find out. 

Before you decide to check any messages or notifications, you find a glass, fill it with water and down it in seconds. Pulling your head back you become aware of the ache in it, and with the water helping you clear your mind a little, the pounding slowly creeps into a loud drum. 

Okay, so you’re not getting away from being hungover. Good to know. 

Not being able to focus with the drums really taking off in your head, you rush to the bathroom and find aspirin. You take two and swallow them with another glass of water. It’s gonna take a little while before they help so you slide down the bathroom wall and sit there to let yourself ease into the beating that keeps interrupting your thoughts. 

It feels like it takes forever, but when you check the clock, the pounding starts to wind down a little after more or less fifteen minutes. You don’t have the energy to get up from the warmth of the bathroom floor, so you continue to sit as you open your phone. 

You have three snaps, five messenger texts, two texts and eleven missed phone calls. The phonecalls belong to three people; three from Tom (your heart skips a beat at the thought that he thinks of you), six from Benedict, and surprisingly, two from Chris. 

The two texts are one message of having voicemails (three), and one message from Tom; I heard from Benedict. He’s worried, are you okay? - Tom. You ignore it, making a note to reply and listen to the voicemails after checking messenger and snap. 

It takes three seconds to regret checking snap. Two of the snaps are from people you have no idea who are, but who you probably added last night. The last one is a video of you from Y/BFF/N embarrassing yourself to the nth degree on the dance floor. You know they saved it, and you know there is no point in asking to delete it―no matter what, you know they won’t post it anywhere. 

In a state of shock, checking messenger becomes more automated that anything else. You read the messages; one with a similar name to one of the snap usernames that you ignore and delete the friend request seeing as the message itself is not one you want; one that’s from a groupchat with you, Y/BFF/N and another mutual friend that you don’t see that often as they live abroad, but whom you trust fully and therefore has replied to your drunk texts about wanting to fuck a certain person whose name shall not be mentioned; three texts from Chris asking what’s going on, if you’re okay and if there’s anything he can do to help. You only reply to Chris’s by asking why he wonders, saying yes and asking him if he knows anything about what happened last night―you do not admit to having no memory of the evening. 

Waiting for a reply you listen to the voicemails. All three are from Benedict; one he sounds mad in, one he sounds worried in, and one he threatens to call the police and tell them that you’re missing and that you might be in danger―it feels a little weird not knowing if that actually happened. 

You sigh, blowing your hair so it falls in your face. Well, well, gotta keep searching. 

In the living room, Y/BFF/N lies in the same position as before. You ignore them, instead focusing on the low rumble from your stomach. 

Hopefully, some food will help clear the mystery. 

The food itself doesn’t help. However, the replies from Chris does. 

Chris: asking because you seemed very drunk and i wanted to know you’re okay, good that you are, and no, i don’t know since you never really gave me anything to go on

You: okay, well, there are no other messages between us, anything I did to alert you??

Chris: uhh, no, actually it was Tom that called me

You: Tom?? Hiddleston?? The dude who I teach with?? 

Chris: yeah… i was surprised too, maybe talk to him?

You: yeah, im gonna 

Of course, that’s what you tell Chris. You know, with every ounce of your body, that you will not pick up the phone and either text or call him because you know that that would be the death of you. 

You will wait, as long as you can, to ask Tom why he called Chris. The thought of it alone just has that feeling of wrongness expand. You shake it off, put away your phone and return your attention to your food. 

 --

Going into work on Monday is not on your list of fun activities, but it is something you have to do. You suppose it would have been on your list of fun if not for the looming conversation you need to have with a certain professor. 

It takes little time after your first class to meet him. Usually, your schedules don’t coincide but you guess the universe isn’t on your side today. 

“Hi.” Tom purses his lips and puts his hands in his pockets. 

You nod. “Hi.”

“How was your weekend?” he asks. 

“It was good,” you say and nod. “You know what, I can’t really talk right now. Catch you later?” You shoot him a pained smile and hurry away before Tom can answer. There is no way you’ve ever been in a more awkward situation (and the worst part is that you don’t even know what it is that made it awkward―what the fuck did you say?!). 

You try not to think too hard about it as you make your way back to your office. With two hours of office time, you can get back to focusing on your research project and get your mind off Saturday night and your possibly very embarrassing utterance to Tom. 

God, what the fuck did you say?

It takes a solid five minutes for your mind to rush back to what’s been circling around the last twenty-four hours. 

“Okay, you know what?” you say out loud to the silence of your office. It does not reply back. However, in the need to say it out loud, you act as if it did. “I have to just ask. I’m gonna go to wherever he currently is and I’m gonna ask what I said and I’m gonna cut right to the chase and it’s gonna be alright. It’s gonna be okay. It’s probably not as bad as I think it is.” 

However, you don’t get up. It’s like you’re glued to your chair and no matter how much the nerves in your brain tells your legs to get up, they don’t move. 

For two hours, you just sit there. Almost so you’re late to class even. 

 --

“We’re doing a what?” 

Both you and Tom frown at Dean McHallan who, though with a slight roll of his eyes, nods. “You’re going to a conference in Scotland. I know it’s sudden and it seems weird, but they specifically asked for you two to speak.”

You raise a brow. “They asked for us to speak about what exactly? Do I have to prepare some kind of presentation or something now because, honestly, I’m not ready for that.” 

“They asked for you both to speak on team-teaching creative writing. They wanted input from your students as well so during the week now, ask them some questions that you can quote them on. And they wanted you, Y/N, to speak on your research project as they find it interesting and they weirdly enough hadn’t thought about it before. They would love to hear how you’re going about it.” 

Your mind races as you nod along to his words. What are you supposed to do? Say no, nope, you can’t do that. You literally have no choice because he’s already said you’re going and McHallan makes the final decisions and he also knows neither of you really have anything that important going on currently. 

“Okay, I guess we’re going to Scotland next week.” You’ve always wanted to go so maybe it’s an opportunity you should take anyway. 

“It’s settled then. Tom?”

The literature professor nods. “I can’t argue with your reasoning so I guess we’re going. I have some inquiries. Accomodations? Travel? Food? And when?”

McHallan hands each of you a piece of paper. “You will be in the same hotel, though different rooms. I think they’ll be just across from each other or something. You’ll fly there on wednesday morning, together, and have all wednesday evening to settle in and make the last preparations and so on. Food will be accounted for unless you eat above budget. There are breakfast and dinner included at the hotel, and lunch is served with the conference. If you eat anything outside of that it will be out of your own pocket. The schedule for the conference is on the back of that paper and the information you need about your flights just under there.”

You nod, going over the paper as McHallan talks and making different mental notes. Some of those make no sense, and one of them is ‘get trapped somewhere so you have to ask Tom what you did on Saturday’, though you’re afraid that one might be the hardest one to see through with.

[earpdearp]

not just best friends

Wherein Nicole and Waverly spend an afternoon deep in discussion about what to do about the latest addition: Willa Earp, back from the dead. Phonecalls, texts and flirts galore. Plus, they kind of sleep together. It’s a long day.

Takes place in early 1x11. Utilizes Road to Purgatory content for flavor. Domestic as all get-out.

Also on AO3. Approximately 7620 words.

Other WayHaught “not just friends” fics in this series: not just any first date | not just a secret | not just heavenly | not just a long day

Nicole Haught woke up smiling.

While she was exhausted from all that extra overtime last night (and into the morning), Nicole still felt a warm sense of accomplishment all the way down to her toes.

It had been one of those defining moments of becoming a cop. The chaos of so many people, staying calm in that chaos, while working together to get statements down and families found… it was a magical thing. 

“A hidden forest cult of runaway women rescued from the hands of a charismatic lunatic.”

It was one of those things you heard about on TV and couldn’t believe existed. Except in Purgatory: anything seemed to be possible. Good and bad (oftentimes bad).

All Nicole’s emergency management training had finally paid off, too. All those binders of situational procedure she’d brought with her to Purgatory from the Academy put to use. For once, Nicole had been the one teaching Lonnie, Nedley and Phillips how to properly engage with a sudden influx of victims at the station (and not just pack them into the drunk tank to deal with like a rowdy bar fight).

No, those women needed blankets, they needed coffee, they needed a sense of community and support. Favors were called in, mostly from the other cops’ significant others.

Lonnie’s wife, Marlene, helped keep their little coffee pot humming long into the early morning (or with hot chocolate to those who asked). Maggie Nedley and Chrissy threw their weight at the volunteer fire department to make sure they had plenty of blankets, plus cots for the women whose families couldn’t arrive til the morning. They also made trips to the 24-hour truck stop for bags and bags of trashy burgers and sandwiches when everyone got hungry around 10PM.

Phillips’ girlfriend Sasha was a little too dense to help do anything, but boy could the woman talk. And, if Nicole was being honest, she was probably the most useful of all. Sasha flitted around those girls like a hummingbird, catching them up on reality TV plots, some current events, the best clubs and bars in the city, and who the hottest movie actors were. Nicole had to keep redirecting Sasha away from Phillips so he would stay on task making those family calls/arrangements, but otherwise the woman was the perfect conversational butterfly to put those rescued women at ease.

Nicole had texted Waverly that she’d seen Wynonna there, hovering in the background like a grumpy guardian angel. The answering [“Thank you <3”] was all Nicole needed. A small part of Nicole wanted to ask Waverly to come down to help, but she knew Waverly was dead on her feet from the past few days.

Plus… they hadn’t really talked about outing their relationship like that. It would be a pretty big dick move just to show off “her girlfriend Waverly” when they hadn’t even used the word with each other, yet.

But… something to talk about nonetheless. There were a lot of empty checkboxes in their relationship status yet. Title, how serious or exclusive, who all could/would/should they tell… Still plenty of time to figure that out, though. And the right time probably wasn’t “late at night in the middle of the sheriff’s department.”

The number of victims winnowed down to less than three. Even Wynonna had signed a custody release on one woman who went by the name “Eve.”

“Just until someone steps forward to claim her,” Wynonna had said with a stern look. “No one should have to spend the night in this shithole.” Her expression switched to one of mock-sweetness with a few rapid, insincere blinks.

Nedley had cleared it with a gruff nod, though he promised the elder Earp that he was going to attend to Eve’s missing persons report personally. “If I have to assign a caseworker, I will.”

Wynonna drawled back with a smirk. “Oooo, threatening me with bureaucracy. …Relax, Randy. I’ll keep her safe.” Nicole had thought she heard the woman mutter under her breath, “…or she’ll keep me safe.”

Around midnight, Sheriff Nedley had taken Nicole aside. The bags under the man’s eyes were more pronounced than usual, his mouth a hard line under his light moustache. At first, Nicole thought she had done something wrong when he closed his office door behind her.

Instead, he offered her a seat. And a drink from the decanter of whiskey on his side table.

“You did good today, Haught,” Nedley said after clinking the lowball glass in his hand against hers on the desk. He drained his glass of the amber liquid in one deep swallow before Nicole had the chance to even raise hers to her lips.

Following suit, Nicole resisted the urge to cough against the burning bourbon. It puffed out her cheeks from the sheer amount of booze, but she swallowed it down with a weak smile.

“Th—thank you, sir,” Nicole stuttered out with a small, throat clearing cough. She felt herself squinting against the burn rolling down her throat. She also stifled a yawn that started in her jaw and shivered its way down her shoulders and into her chest. Sitting down just made Nicole realize how dog-ass tired she was after such a long day.

Nedley poured himself another and studied the sloshing liquid in his glass a moment. “I know you’ve had a long night, and you’re due some comp time. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t offer…”

Tilting her head, Nicole asked, “Offer what?”

“We’ve got a big poker tournament going on tomorrow night. Lot of old money and friends of the Judge come in and throw chips around. Big well-to-do to raise some funds… usually for the Judge’s re-election.” Nedley rolled his eyes slightly.

“But it’s good side pay,” he continued after downing his glass of bourbon. “Lonnie worked it last year and Phillips worked the year before, though I’m offerin’ it to you first this time. Usually around five hours of work, mostly involves standing around and making sure no one gets too rowdy. Standard gig. What do you say?”

“I’m game, sir,” Nicole said, then cringed at the accidental pun.

The Sheriff’s gaze was withering, but he nodded and drummed his fingers on his desk. “Good. I’ll email you the details. Proper protocol, all the standard operating procedure, all that. Pretty easy stuff.” He stood up and Nicole followed suit (taking the hint that this conversation was over). “Represent us well and you’ll get asked back to do more side jobs. Homecoming at the school is another big one, some hockey events, weddings, stuff like that.”

Nicole returned the lowball glass to Nedley’s desk and adjusted her belt. “Looking forward to it, sir.”

Leaning forward, Nedley offered his hand to shake. “Just a small thank-you for all your hard work. You’ve been in Purgatory long enough. Time for you to see some of what it has to offer. You’re part of this community now, Haught.”

“Yes, sir.”

Despite the fact it meant piling more work on her shoulders, Nicole was oddly touched by the gesture… at being included in the town’s outer-workings, at the very least. Integrating into the normal part of Purgatory would be nice for a change.

And maybe one day, I’ll be included in the inner-workings, Nicole thought with a scowl as Dolls and Wynonna came to mind.

She made a mental note to ask Waverly about the poker tournament later.

Nedley glanced across the station to his wife, Maggie. “And try not to get cornered by any of the Judge’s out-of-towner friends. Or the Mayor’s wife, Vicky. You’ll never escape. They can talk.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Standing up, Nedley gestured for the door. “Anyway, great work tonight. Get home, get some sleep, Haught.”

“Yes, sir.”

Stretching in her bed, Nicole stared at the ceiling. She stroked the ginger cat that was curled in her lap, while her other hand reached subconsciously for the cell phone on her nightstand. Her thumb hovered over her home screen wallpaper: a smiling Waverly with Nicole kissing her cheek. Their first date outside the movie theater. Just a little over a week ago and it still felt like yesterday.

With a wistful sigh, Nicole swiped over to the first starred contact in her list. It connected after a couple of rings. “Hey, good morning you,” Nicole said warmly, her other hand rubbing at Calamity Jane’s cheek.

[“Hey, how’d it go last night?”] Waverly sounded tired still, which made Nicole reflexively frown in sympathy.

“Good. Almost all the women’s families were local and drove in pretty much straightaway. A couple had to catch flights from out of state and should be there in the morning.”

[“That’s awesome, Nicole.”]

“Yea, it was a pretty early morning, though,” Nicole yawned almost on command. “How are you doing? I saw Wynonna took one of the women home? Did she crash with y’all last night? How was that?”

[“Uh… yea… yea, Wynonna made a… friend. A woman named Eve. She’s…”] Waverly trailed off.

Sensing something was off, Nicole sat up in bed. Calamity Jane meowed in irritation and left Nicole’s lap in a huff. “Waverly? What’s wrong?”

[“I don’t even know how to say this, because I didn’t think it was possible…”]

“What is it, baby?”

[“It’s Eve… there’s a good chance that she’s—she’s really our big sister, Willa…”]

Nicole felt her eyes widen and her hand went to her mouth.

She remembered the news article she’d found when she was looking up Wynonna Earp (and, admittedly, Waverly). That Willa Earp was taken during at attack on the Homestead, the same night Wynonna accidentally shot their father. A six-month search kicked off, but no trace of the girl was ever found other than some bloody clothes and Willa was presumed dead. For 15 years.

“Oh my God, Waves…”

[“Yea, she—she started to freak out when we brought her home. Luckily, Dolls was there and gave her some medication to help her sleep. He’s doing a rush job on a DNA test right now, so we should know soon for certain. I just—I don’t know…”]

Leaning over, Nicole cradled her phone to her ear. “How are you doing?” she asked softly.

There was a moment of silence on the other end, followed by a brief sniff. [“I don’t—I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it right now. Not with—just… not right now.”]

Nicole took the hint. Maybe Wynonna or Gus or “Willa” was nearby and Waverly wasn’t free to talk. Nicole decided to change the subject to (hopefully) happier news as she switched to speaker phone.

“Okay, we can talk about it later. But hey, can I ask you something?”

[“Anything.”] Waverly said, her tone enthusiastic.

Opening her email, Nicole studied all the notes from Nedley again. “Are you familiar with the ‘Purgatory Poker Spectacular?’”

[“Oh! Yea! Big, glitzy affair that Judge Cryderman throws every year.”]

“Have you ever gone?”

[“Uh, no. That’s where the rich d-bags from the city come into town and throw money around. Then they usually went to Shorty’s after and drank us dry. Super rude. And handsy. Not a fan.”]

Nicole scowled at the thought as she switched back to the normal phone setting. “…do you remember any names? Or what they looked like?”

A chirp of a laugh at the other end of the phone. [“Aw, are you gonna defend my honor? That’s so sweet! …don’t worry about it, Nicole. It’s so not worth it. Frankly, I’d pay money to see what happens when those jerks stroll into Shorty’s-now-Bobo’s and try to act like dicks to his gang. Won’t they be surprised.”]

“Fair point,” Nicole agreed.

[“Why do you ask?”]

“Oh, I’m on duty for it tonight. Extra security. Nedley put me up to it. And it’ll give me a chance to earn some extra cash… to take out pretty girls… That sort of thing,” Nicole said airily.

[“Great! Anyone I know?”]

“I think you do. She’s pretty amazing.” Sighing with relief, Nicole leaned back against her headboard. “Are you free at all today? I have some time to kill before the poker thing tonight.”

I’m really racking up the overtime. Next paycheck should be incredible.

Nicole paused before rushing into a semi-apology. “Of course, I totally understand if you need to spend time with your sister—sisters. I just—I’m here if you need me, Wave.”

[“Oh God, I’d love to come over. It’s been a weird vibe in the house since Eve—Willa?—showed up. Frankly, I could use the break. What time?”]

“I’m off til around five, so any time before then would be great.”

[“Okay, let’s plan for lunch then! I’ll text you when I’m on my way over. I’m pretty sure you still owe me a meal from yesterday.”] Her voice a teasing warning, Waverly was starting to sound like her old self again.

With a light laugh, Nicole agreed, “You got it. I’ll get that Chinese I promised and failed to deliver on. Text me what you like and I’ll have it waiting. See you in a bit.”

They trailed off with fond goodbyes before hanging up.

As Nicole was finishing getting ready to pick up lunch, her phone pinged with a text.

[Waverly says: “It’s official. She’s Willa”]

Chewing her cheek, Nicole tapped out a response.

[Nicole says: “How are you holding up?”]

[Waverly says: “It’s a lot to process”]

[Nicole says: “I know”]

[Waverly says: “She’s been gone almost my whole life, as far as I remember”]

[Nicole says: “I can’t even imagine”]

There was a long pause. Nicole was uncertain what to say next. Then the trademark “…” held her attention as Waverly replied.

[Waverly says: “In other news, Wynonna asked me if we’re ‘best friends’”]

[Nicole says: “…whaaaa?”]

They exchanged a pair of unicorn emojis. Nicole chuckled under her breath.

“Best friends.” I would think so.

…”Girlfriends?” …Oh God, I hope so.

[Waverly says: “I’m heading over”]

[Nicole says: “Okay, I’m heading out to pick up the food. See you at my place <3”]

[Waverly says: “Okay <3”]

When Nicole returned with a plastic bag bulging with Chinese food containers, she saw a familiar red Jeep already sitting in her driveway. Parking her cruiser next to that Jeep, Nicole hopped out and scanned the front porch. Waverly Earp stood at the far side, leaning against the banister and looking out at the small swath of land behind the house.

“Hey you,” Nicole greeted Waverly warmly, which turned the woman’s head.

Dropping the bag of food lightly on the porch near the door, Nicole strode straight up to Waverly and pulled her into a tight hug. The smaller woman’s arms snaked through Nicole’s open coat to wrap around her waist, and her head fit perfectly into the space below Nicole’s chin against her collarbone and breasts.

They held there for several minutes, not saying anything.

It was Waverly who started to pull back, so Nicole loosened her grip around Waverly’s shoulders. Nicole ran one hand along the back of Waverly’s neck to her cheek and held it there.

Waverly wasn’t crying, but there was a pensive line in her brow and her eyes were glazed. On the verge, but she was holding fast. Waverly stood still as Nicole leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead, which caused a smile to curl her lips.

“Hey, best friend,” Waverly said, her voice cracking slightly with the joke. She cleared her throat.

“Hey, best friend,” Nicole echoed back as she stepped aside, leaving one arm around Waverly’s shoulders. “It’s cold. Let’s get you inside.”

A thought crossed Nicole’s mind that she should get Waverly a spare key to her house. But… she wasn’t sure if that was Too Soon. She smiled to herself that she was already thinking like that. Like… long-term.

…Whoa there. Still plenty of time.

Scooping up the bag of take-out, Nicole ushered Waverly in after unlocking the door. She helped the woman take off her leopard-print coat and beckoned her into the kitchen to sit at the table. Nicole pulled the chair out and waited for Waverly to sit down.

Waverly balked at the attention. “I’m okay, Nicole. I could help you set the table, or—?”

With an emphatic shake of her head, Nicole gestured to the chair again. Waverly obliged with a small smile. When she sat down, Nicole pushed the chair in and kissed the top of Waverly’s head.

Then Nicole went to work.

Her motions were smooth and deliberate. Turning on the oven with a beep, Nicole set the temperature to low and stuffed the bag of Chinese food in before closing the heavy door with a thud. Then she swept over to the pantry for the open bottle of zinfandel. She filled a wide-brimmed wine glass—a jingling unicorn charm at the stem—with dark red liquid (as well as another glass nearby, this time with a cowboy hat charm).

Nicole set the glasses down on the kitchen table then made her way over to the refrigerator. She pulled two small pints out of the freezer, claimed two spoons from the cutlery drawer nearby and brought them to the table as well.

A chuckle caught in Nicole’s throat when she saw Waverly downing her glass of wine, clearly the stress of the last few days getting to her. Without a word, Nicole fetched the bottle of zinfandel and brought it over to the table. She waited for Waverly to finish before emptying the rest of the bottle into her glass.

“Okay. Now we can talk if you want,” Nicole said simply as she settled into the chair across from Waverly at the table. Nicole popped the top off the pint of chocolate chip cookie dough and motioned with her spoon for Waverly to do the same with her mint chocolate chip.

Her smile slanted, Waverly dug in with a large spoonful. She rolled the cream around her mouth for a moment, savoring the taste. It was a few more bites in before Waverly finally spoke.

“I don’t know what to say, really. She was taken when I was just a kid… and she’s been gone all this time, brainwashed and probably worse…” Waverly’s face contorted with profound sadness. But also, something resembling… guilt?

What could Waverly have possibly done to be guilty about?

Nicole reached out and stroked Waverly’s wrist. “I can’t even imagine what she’s been through, Waves. It’ll be a hard adjustment phase. For everyone.”

“Yea… Wynonna is trying to ease her into what all’s happened. Which… I don’t know. I remember… Daddy was hardest on Willa. Which made Willa… she—she wasn’t a very good sister.” Waverly stopped herself, her eyes widening. She took a deep breath and started to ramble. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say that… she was taken and—and God Knows what she’s had to deal with all these years and just because she was… that’s probably not who she even is and here I am—“

Nicole tried to interrupt. “Waverly.”

“—here I am holding on to grudges from when I was six and how childish is that? She’s our sister and of course I love her… even though she was kind of a bully… even though she and Wynonna were always closer and Wynonna is nothing like how she was when we were kids and—and now Willa can be the Earp she was meant to be and—and—I—“

Gripping the woman’s wrist more firmly, Nicole tried again. “Waverly…”

Waverly finally looked back up at Nicole from where she had been talking to her pint of mint chocolate chip.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“You do?” Waverly chewed her bottom lip.

Nicole rolled her thumb over the back of Waverly’s hand. “I think so. I get the feeling you bottled up all the resentment you had as a kid after Willa was taken and never felt like you were allowed to be mad. And now that she’s back, the bottle’s open. Does that sound about right?”

Waverly gave a weak nod. Her voice was just above a whisper. “Does that… make me a bad person, Nicole?”

It broke Nicole’s heart. “Waverly… you are the kindest, sweetest person I’ve ever met. Hands down.” She smiled softly as her fingers stroked along Waverly’s hand before she threaded their fingers together. “Family is… complicated. It feels like it shouldn’t be, because it’s Family and you’re supposed to just love each other, but… it doesn’t always work that way. I know.”

Nicole’s advice was supposed to be directed at Waverly, but it was more to convince herself.    

Waverly seemed to notice, her head tilting curiously. “How do you know?”

“I don’t… speak to my family—to my parents. They’re just… not a part of my life and I’m—I’m better for it. We had a falling out before I went away to college and I’ve been on my own since. And it just—it just is,” Nicole trailed off with a shrug. She didn’t want to elaborate, partly because Nicole didn’t want to make this about her and partly because she didn’t want to dredge up the pain.

Squeezing her hand back, Waverly offered a slanted smile. “I’m sorry… I didn’t want to dump this on you. I mean, I could be making a big deal about nothing. It’s just… rough, you know? On the bright side, I think Gus might try to stay a little longer.” Waverly chewed her cheek. “Though I think she feels guilty, too. Since she was the one who became our guardian after Daddy died and had to be the one to call off the search.”

“Y’all didn’t do anything wrong, Waverly,” Nicole consoled. “How could any of you have known?”

Waverly sighed with a nod before taking another deep sip of wine. They ate their ice cream in companionable silence for a few minutes, accompanied only by the sound of clinking wine glasses and the scraping of spoons.

“Thanks—thanks for listening, Nicole,” Waverly said finally, her smile soft and sweet.

“Of course,” Nicole replied as she drained the last of her wine. She offered a teasing smile. “What are best friends for?”

“Just the best,” Waverly agreed as she beckoned Nicole forward with a finger. They leaned across the table to share a soft kiss.

Nicole stood to replace the lids on the pints and tuck them back in the freezer. “You hungry?” Waverly’s wicked smile actually made Nicole laugh. “…I meant for food?”

“Actually, yes. Being an emotional wreck leaves you with an appetite.”

Fetching their food from the oven, Nicole doled out warm cartons across the table along with chopsticks and plastic spoons. Vegetarian potstickers, lo mein, and hot and sour soup for Waverly, while Nicole had General Tsao’s chicken and wonton soup.

Waverly asked Nicole if she had any peanut butter. Her cheeks reddened slightly in embarrassment.

When Nicole headed into the pantry, she stopped, turned and demanded, “What’s the best kind of peanut butter?”

An eyebrow quirked. “You’re testing me?”

Nicole nodded back.

“Uh, smooth. Obviously,” Waverly said with a dismissive hand-wave.

“Correct. I also would have accepted: ‘Nutella is the best.’”

Retrieving the plastic jar, Nicole handed it over to Waverly with a raised eyebrow of her own. With a guilty smile, Waverly grabbed a spoonful and dumped it into her hot and sour soup.

“Not… what I was expecting…” Nicole said as she watched the hot liquid dissolve the dollop of peanut butter.

“It’s super good. …Don’t tell Wynonna I still do that, though. She’ll never stop making fun of me.” Waverly scowled, her nose wrinkling.

Nicole raised three fingers in a Girl Scout sign as she stabbed another forkful of chicken. “Won’t say a word. Is that, like, a Purgatory thing? Or just a Waverly Earp thing?” She smiled endearingly before taking a bite.

“Just me!” Waverly chirped with a smile as she swirled her spoon in her soup almost like a whisk. “Though I agree: Nutella is the best.”

With a light laugh, Nicole went back to her pantry and pulled out what amounted to a small drum of Nutella. Her smile was skewed with embarrassment. “I might have a small problem. …I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Waverly repeated back Nicole’s Girl Scout sign with a laugh. “Deal!” Her fingertips found their way to Nicole’s wrist and errantly stroked along the back of her hand. A familiar wide, crinkling smile remained on Waverly’s face for the rest of lunch.

Nicole was not able to convince Waverly to take it easy this time; she insisted on helping clean up, going so far as to shoo Nicole out of her own kitchen.

“You’ve done enough! And I waitressed a rowdy bar for three years, Nicole. I think I can handle cleaning up some Chinese food,” Waverly announced as she draped a dish towel on the opposite shoulder as her side braid. Wiping her hands on her colorful, floral-print skirt, Waverly shot a pair of finger-guns. “Plus, it’ll help take my mind off things for a little longer… and give me a chance to go through all your drawers.” Her smile was toothy with mock-sweetness.

All Nicole could do was laugh and hold up her hands in surrender. “Well, let me know if you find anything good while you’re looking for skeletons. Or this purple mouse-slash-catnip toy of Calamity Jane’s that she probably stuck somewhere weird.” She made a measuring motion with her thumb and forefinger. “About yay big.”

Another pair of finger-guns. “You got it, Haught!”

“Thanks, Earp.”

Settling onto the couch, Nicole left a spot open for Waverly. A multitude of blankets were already at the ready, as was the DVR remote. She checked her watch. Still a few hours yet before she needed to head off to the poker tournament. They had time.

Nicole couldn’t help craning her neck to watch the woman work behind her. Waverly was humming a nonsensical tune under her breath as she swept the cartons into the trash bin and wiped down the table. She poked around the lower cabinets and a few of the higher ones, but gave up after a few stretches on her tip-toes yielded no results on the out-of-reach shelves.

She did dig around under the sink for a few minutes longer than necessary, but just as Nicole was about to ask, Waverly stood up. Her arm shot up over her head in triumph.

“Ha! Challenge accepted!” Waving in Waverly’s hand, like a Golden Snitch from Harry Potter, was a lumpy purple mouse toy.

Oh God… It was… so nice. She was a vision. Graceful and sweet and just so—

Before Nicole could finish that thought, Waverly chucked the mouse at Nicole where it bounced off her forehead. The woman’s laugh was pure music as Waverly covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh shit! Sorry! I was just trying to throw it to you, not at you.”

Still too awestruck to be offended, Nicole smirked before grabbing the toy where it landed on the couch back. She tossed it over to the side closet where the door was open a crack. A ginger paw stretched out, felt around, then snagged the toy and pulled it inside.

“You’re welcome, you little gremlin,” Nicole muttered under her breath. She was too amused to be annoyed by Calamity Jane’s antisocial behavior.

A moment later, Waverly swept in re-serving their wine glasses (freshened with moscato this time). Her small smile was apologetic. “A peace offering. I didn’t mean to bean you in the face.”

“I can check and see if there are any more openings on the PSD softball team. Put that deadly aim to use,” Nicole teased as she accepted the glass. They clinked them together before Nicole pulled back a blanket to welcome Waverly next to her.

They snuggled together for a few minutes, Nicole’s arm draped lazily around Waverly’s shoulders.

A text message ping broke the quiet. Waverly sighed and slipped her hand under the blanket to pull out her phone. Hazel eyes skimming the bright screen for a moment, Waverly chewed her cheek as she put the phone away.

“Something wrong?” Nicole asked, tilting her head.

“I don’t think so? Wynonna took …Willa…” Waverly still stumbled over the unfamiliar word, her brow creasing. “…out on the Homestead… to tell her what happened to her. Who she is. I guess she started to remember some things.”

“That’s good, right?”

“I guess? She remembered Daddy, which…” Glancing over, Waverly hesitated and took a deep sip of her wine. She offered a fake smile as she held up her glass. “This is, uh, pretty good. No zinfandel, but I really like the—“

“Waverly,” Nicole interrupted with a soft smile. She rocked her arm against Waverly’s shoulders in reassurance. “…You don’t have to tell me. But, I would like to know if and when you do. And yea, the moscato’s pretty good, if sweeter.”

“I’m sorry, I just… Daddy was… tough. Especially after Momma left. He drank a lot. He was really hard on Willa. And Wynonna, too.”

Nicole felt herself tense in anger at this man she’d never met. Her imagination was filling in what Waverly wasn’t saying. “What about you?”

A bitter laugh. “Daddy barely knew I existed. He was so focused on Willa. Wynonna was the one who took care of me, got me ready for school or helped me brush my teeth or packed my lunch. She was the one who kept the family together in spite of everything.” Waverly had gone back to chewing her cheek. She glanced at Nicole out of the corner of her eye.

Police training started to creep into Nicole’s mind, particularly: risk assessment for domestic abuse victims. But Nicole managed to stop herself before her anger spiked further… especially considering she knew that Ward Earp had been the Purgatory Sheriff back in the day.

That son of a bitch! …This was 15 years ago, this explains a lot and… this is not what Waverly needs right now.

“I’m so sorry, Waverly,” Nicole said instead, leaning over to rest her forehead against Waverly’s temple. She saw Waverly’s eyes close at the touch and stay closed while a sad smile tugged at her cheek.

Only the sound of soft breathing carried through the room as Nicole held against Waverly. Rubbing small circles on Waverly’s shoulder with her thumb, Nicole felt a hand give a similar, soothing stroke along her thigh.

Nicole traced her lips over Waverly’s cheek before taking a sip of her wine. “Anything you want to do? A movie or something? Take your mind off things?”

A slanted smile as Waverly followed suit with a sip of her own moscato. Her tongue flicked out to lick traces of wine off her lips. She blinked blearily. “God, I’m so tired from the last few days, I’d probably just fall asleep.” That slanted smiled crinkled with apology.

“A nap, then?” Nicole suggested as she checked her watch. “I could probably use one before the poker tournament.” She gave a playful wink. “Wouldn’t do for Purgatory’s Finest to pass out while rubbing shoulders with Purgatory’s Elite.”

Eyes widening, Waverly took an unusually large swallow of wine. She gave a small, nervous cough after draining the rest of her glass. “You mean… together? …Are you—are you sure? I mean, I don’t—I’m not really…” Waverly trailed off with a fretful drumming of fingernails on the glass.

Nicole chuckled and pulled away slightly. “Not like that. …plenty of time, remember?” She tilted her head and gave a small yawn. “If you’d rather I stay here and you take my room, or vice versa, I’m fine either way. Or if you’re okay with my room, I have some—“

“Okay,” Waverly interrupted.

“Okay what?”

“Er… I’m… okay with… your room. …Together.”

“Are you sure? Cuz I can take the couch. I don’t mind, Waver—”

Waverly jumped in again, her smile shy. “No, it’s—it’s fine. I’d… like that.” The shyness pushed outward into small confidence. “As long as I can bring some extra blankets.” Her gaze hardened, stern negotiation written on her face.

“How can I say no to that?” With an airy laugh, Nicole nodded as she finished her wine. The cowboy charm made a tinkling sound as it jangled against the stem. She set it, and Waverly’s glass, on the coffee table and started to push herself upright.

A hand held at Nicole’s thigh. “Wait!”

Sliding back onto the sofa, Nicole’s eyes focused on the small plastic-wrapped cookie that was thrust in front of her face. Waverly demanded, “You have to read your fortune.” In the woman’s other hand was a second fortune cookie.

They both unwrapped the crinkling plastic and, at Waverly’s pensive nod, snapped their small brown cookies in half together. Nicole popped one half of the crispy treat in her mouth as she unfolded the thin white paper inside.

“Advancement will come with hard work.” Don’t I know it.

“What’s yours say?” Waverly asked, leaning over to try and read over Nicole’s shoulder.

Smiling to herself, Nicole hid the paper in her fist. “It says ‘You will totally platonically sleep with a pretty girl today.’ Weird, huh?” She grinned wider and crunched loudly on the rest of the cookie.

“Really weird,” Waverly agreed with a smirk. “What’s weirder is mine said the same thing.” Her cheeks reddened slightly, but then her cheeks bulged as she crammed both cookie halves into her mouth with a muffled laugh.

Nicole leaned over and kissed Waverly. She tasted so, so sweet as the wine and the wafer mixed together on her lips. Nicole’s hand at the woman’s shoulder ran back along Waverly’s neck and held her cheek. A hand returned to Nicole’s thigh and gripped against her jeans as they held fast for a few moments.

Reluctantly pulling away, Nicole gave Waverly one last peck before standing up. She helped Waverly carry a couple of blankets up the stairs and down the hall to her room.

There was a brief moment of panic as Nicole struggled to remember if her room was clean. Cracking the door open, she was relieved to find she hadn’t left any dirty clothes or underwear strewn about. And the bed was crisply made, as it always was. Old habits die hard.

Nicole offered some spare clothes for Waverly to sleep in, which the woman shyly declined. It only took a moment for Nicole to slip into her bathroom and pull on a pair of sweatpants and a camisole. By the time she’d returned, Waverly had already reassembled her blanket nest on the right half of the bed.

Part of Nicole wanted to tease, but there was something fragile and sweet about this moment that she suddenly felt awkward about ruining. Maybe because it felt… big. Significant. Another small but important step forward.

Instead, Nicole settled under the covers on the left half of the bed. She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and set a timer for a couple of hours from now. Enough time for her to shower and get ready for the Poker Spectacular.

Waverly fiddled with her side braid before laying down facing Nicole. Her hazel eyes seemed to be taking in the room from that perspective. Nicole prayed she liked what she saw. After a moment, those eyes settled on a Nicole peering back at her.

“Is this weird?” Waverly’s brow and nose crinkled with worry.

“A little,” Nicole agreed as she shifted on the pillow against her cheek. “You okay? Or do I need to get a few dozen more blankets?”

The worry changed to narrow-eyed insult. “No,” Waverly scowled back, her eyes twinkling. “And I’m in a skirt, thank you. It’s chilly.”

“I noticed,” Nicole said, more seriously than she’d intended. It did make Waverly smile, but also made the air heavier again. More awkward.

God. Damn. It.

Clearing her throat, Nicole rolled over to her back. “I’ve got an alarm set. Sleep tight, Waves.”

“You too, Nicole.”

Nicole closed her eyes when she felt a soft hand trace along her temple and cheek. She smiled in response at the tender gesture, mostly because there was something… possessive about it. Promising.

Oh God, how am I supposed to go to sleep now?

It had been a long time since Nicole had slept in the same bed as another person. She felt hyper-aware of every stir and shift Waverly made. Her eyes shut so tight didn’t help at all, because the after-image burned into Nicole’s mind was Waverly in the kitchen, laughing as she wiped her hands on her skirt, the side braid bouncing on her shoulder.

She listened for Waverly’s breathing to slow before Nicole hazarded opening an eye. Under a trio of blankets, Waverly lay still on her side, a braid of hair tangled at her neck. Her lips were softly parted as she took in steady breaths, her brow smooth of worry for the first time in awhile.

Smiling, Nicole settled back in and closed her eyes. She mentally ran through the security procedures Nedley had emailed over. Eventually, she felt light pressure across her shins as Calamity Jane climbed across the bed. She heard the cat sniff disdainfully at Waverly before deciding to settle into a familiar spot on Nicole’s stomach.

A chiming alarm woke Nicole, a slight snoring breath rumbling in her throat. She glanced over to Waverly, who blinked languidly as she gave a quiet yawn.

When Waverly caught sight of Nicole over her pillow, her lips curled in a warm smile. “Hey, you.”

“Hey back,” Nicole replied with an answering smile before yawning, too. Some of Waverly’s hair had come loose from her braid, her bangs in loose wisps at her temple. Nicole reached over and tucked the errant hairs behind the woman’s ear. “…you sleep okay?”

With a lazy stretch, Waverly inhaled deeply through her nose. “Actually, yea. And I made a friend.” She made a small pointing motion down to the foot of the bed.

Pushing herself up with her elbows, Nicole craned her neck over the covers. Sure enough, in the valley of space between Waverly’s ankles, was a ball of ginger fur. Calamity Jane was fast asleep.

“You little traitor,” Nicole muttered insincerely.

“You leave my foot-warmer alone,” Waverly warned with a mock-frown, her eyebrow quirking in challenge.

The alarm on Nicole’s phone pinged again, the snooze reset. She turned it off and made a motion to get up when she felt a hand on her arm.

Waverly didn’t say anything, just chewed her lower lip and stared back. Her eyes alternated between crinkling and smoothing, evidence of something going on in that head of hers.

Leaning over, Nicole gave a deep, lingering kiss. She whispered, “I have to shower and get ready. …You can stay if you want.”

Please stay. Forever.

Waverly squinted one eye upward as she considered it. “We could probably use some coffee, huh?” Nicole felt her eyes widen and she involuntarily nodded, which made Waverly chuckle, “Okay, I’ll go pick us up some. Since you did get lunch, after all.” She reached out and tugged at the front of Nicole’s top, pulling her down in another kiss with a sighing gasp.

All that shifting woke up Calamity Jane, who shot them both a baleful glare before hopping off the bed in a huff. Waverly blew a sarcastic kiss in CJ’s direction, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

Nicole was reluctant to leave the warmth of her bed (and Waverly), but she didn’t want to run late to her first security job. As she made her way to the bathroom to turn on the hot water in the shower, she heard the shifting of blankets behind her as Waverly got up, too.

In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, Nicole could have sworn she saw Waverly pause at the bedroom door and look at her back, a gleeful, lip-biting smile on her face. But then Waverly turned and left, her footsteps disappearing down the stairwell.

A half hour later, Nicole met Waverly in the kitchen as she pulled a hairbrush through red strands and adjusted the heavy belt at her waist. There was a nervous flutter in Nicole’s chest, that familiar excitement for a new situation. She had studied Nedley’s emails a dozen times already.

“You’re part of this community now, Haught.”

Waverly presented a tall travel cup of coffee to Nicole, who accepted with a grateful thank-you. The woman had taken the time to re-braid her loose hair and smooth out the wrinkles in her top and skirt. Waverly leaned awkwardly against the kitchen counter, an anxious smile on her face.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Nicole asked after taking a long sip.

“Oh, I just—I don’t want to go home. And I feel terrible about feeling that way,” Waverly said with a sigh. She fiddled with a bracelet on her wrist.

“Waverly,” Nicole started with a soft smile. She put a hand on Waverly’s waist in reassurance. “Try talking to Willa. Get to know her, maybe? Or at least let her know you?”

I know she’d love you. Anyone who’s met you loves you. Why wouldn’t they?

Another sigh as Waverly chewed her lip. She nodded and leaned against Nicole’s chest, pressing their foreheads together. After a moment, Nicole kissed Waverly’s nose before reaching up to start braiding her own hair.

A different sort of lip chewing as Waverly asked, “May I?” Her gaze skimmed Nicole’s half-wet strands, a small smile pulling her cheek. “…Not my first rodeo.”

“Absolutely.”

Nicole almost—almost—laughed when Waverly shot her a withering glare before motioning to a chair. She was tempted to make a joke about Waverly’s height, but sitting down and feeling fingertips on her neck froze Nicole in place.

It reminded her of the shooting range, so many weeks ago. She’d been the one to braid Waverly’s hair when the woman’s healing hand wouldn’t cooperate. At the time, it’d been the closest Nicole had ever been to the young Earp. And a “friendly” gesture it most certainly was not.

She’d accidentally touched Waverly’s cheek and ear as she threaded fingers through those thick waves. It was a simple, practiced motion of over-and-under for each section. Easy. Except Nicole remembered the heat of her blush, how lost she’d been just touching Waverly’s hair.

God, I was such a sap.

…”was.” Still am.

The warm breath on her ear and the back of her neck was not lost on Nicole. Nor was what seemed like a lot of unnecessary fingernail-scratching on her scalp. She just smiled and stay still, spying a lurking cat around the kitchen corner while she waited. The coffee went rather quickly.

After a few minutes, there was a flourishing of jazz-hands in Nicole’s peripheral vision accompanying a triumphant “Ta-da!” A second later, Nicole felt a kiss pressed to her cheek.

Turning in her seat, Nicole saw Waverly raise her coffee cup in salute as she winked. “Go get ‘em, best friend.”

“You too, best friend.” She drew Waverly in with a soft kiss.

Nicole led Waverly out of the house by the hand, refusing to let go as she locked her front door with one hand. The afternoon sun was already half-set on the horizon, a blob of orange diffusing against a heavy gray sky.

They said goodbye with a tight hug this time, foreheads pressed together.

“Let me know how it goes with Willa.”

“I will.”

The Poker Spectacular was anything but. There was an awkward pall to the evening, mostly from Judge Cryderman himself. While a lot of the guests seemed content to gamble boisterously and drink, the Judge kept to himself at one of the craps tables.

Otherwise, it was rather uneventful evening. Nicole introduced herself to people and smiled politely while keeping a close eye out. She had to resist the urge to check her watch.

Late in the evening, Nicole took a short break to text Waverly.

[Nicole says: “Did you talk to her?”]

[Waverly says: “Ugh, yes. It went terribly. Said all the wrong things”]

[Waverly says: “She tried to touch me and I accidentally flinched. She freaked out and ran”]

[Nicole says: “I’m so sorry, Waverly”]

A hollow frustration gripped Nicole’s chest. She wanted to call, to be there, to help. But… she had a job to do. She’d made a promise to the Sheriff. This was supposed to be the start of Officer Nicole Haught, Pillar of the Community. Maybe… maybe she could be Sheriff someday herself.

How weak was she, that she was willing to drop everything—everything—and go running off only because Waverly might need it?

The rest of the evening passed with guilt gnawing at Nicole’s chest. She knew her expression had turned hard and manic by the way poker patrons started to avoid her. Nicole made a point not to be rude, but she knew wasn’t being approachable by any means.

Around 1AM, Nicole called Waverly’s cell a few times after the event ended and the hotel cleared out. Voicemail every time. It took every fiber of Nicole’s being to keep her cruiser steady towards her house.

“Best friends” don’t show up at the other’s house in the middle of the night, she had to remind herself through gritted teeth.

When Nicole got home, she attempted another text and call, but they went unanswered.

She crawled into bed next to that empty pile of blankets, that hollow feeling remaining. She slept restlessly, tossing and turning every few hours (and once connecting a foot with a very unhappy Calamity Jane).

The next morning, her phone finally pinged.

[Waverly says: “Oh God, I lost Willa”]

[kari-renee96]

lets get personal.    

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I Like It by Cardi

Bailar by Deorro

While My Guitar Gently Weeps (both the Beatles and Across the Universe versions)

Babe I’m Gonna Leave You by Led Zepplin

Last Nite by the Strokes

Words I Never Said by Lupe Fiasco

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

The Dalai lama, as an aspiring Buddhist, but even if I weren’t interested in Buddhism I would still want to meet him

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“...Why are you suddenly saying stuff that doesn’t make any sense? Are you drunk?”

It’s Fruits Basket, which is my favorite manga, so I just chose the best line from page 17

4: What do you think about most?

What I’m gonna be when I grow up and how my life will be (a nice house with my now boyfriend, hopefully then husband. maybe I’ll be with another person, or by myself, but I’ll be happy. eventually I’ll have a family, I want three kids. I want always two dogs and one or two cats. I want an office with walls covered in books, and a room that has a window seat)

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

A-do-ba-da

it’s a lunch order from my boyfriend

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

on, usually, because I have roommates; unless I’m at my boyfriend’s and i’m trying to be sexy

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I’m good at impressions... sometimes i worry that this makes me racist and I won’t do them unless i know someone who knows me well enough to know that I’m not

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge

boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

A song, by a very sweet and very talented ex. he is a guitarist and so it was instrumental. he had said he was messing around, composing, and a tune reminded him of me. he recorded himself playing it on youtube, and i really loved it

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

yesterday while driving in traffic

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

not strange, i don’t think. i don’t like bugs too much, but what is strange is that sometimes i’ll be totally cool with them, pick them up in a cup with a paper cover, and take them to safety, and sometimes i’ll scream and demand someone kill them

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

nope, do fingers count as foreign? if not, no

13: What’s your religion?

i was baptized Catholic, but that was the extent of that, my parents never went to church, it was more of a Latinx culture thing. currently, i’m an aspiring Buddhist. i feel like it isn’t official, because the Catholic in me wants to be baptized or initiated or something. but i’ve read tons of books, i meditate quite often, and i have always agreed with the philosophy of Buddhism... so idk if that counts?

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

hiding in shade somewhere, i don’t like the sun too much usually, and reading

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind, for sure

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

maybe i’m basic af, but i don’t wanna lie. the Beatles, all the way. i have even taken the freshman seminar and the four unit Beatles Class at my school

17: What was the last lie you told?

i’m not hungry

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, definitely

19: What does your URL mean?

it’s just my nick name, Kari, short for Karina, and my middle name, with the year i was born. pretty basic. i didn’t know when i first made a tumblr how creative one could be when making their URL

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness: keeping things bottled up, even if i talk about something i make it seem like it’s not a big deal, so it is still bottled up

strength: i’m very selfless, which can be a personal weakness at times because i can let people walk all over me, but it makes me happy so i guess that doesn’t matter

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

i have tons... i guess top five are Johnny Depp, Kiera Knightley, Jim Sturgess, Ryan Gosling, and Evan Rachel Wood... i have plenty others

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

yes, but i was very little, maybe 8. it was at a friend’s house in Phoenix, with her and her best friend. it was at night, so no one could see, but during the summer time, so it was still pretty warm at night

23: How do you vent your anger?

journaling helps me, sometimes a phonecall to a friend, my boyfriend, or my mom, and if that doesn’t work then jogging and meditating

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

when i was little i collected stuffed animals and littlest pets shops, to this day it’s hard to let some go

i’ve always collected books. so far i have about 3 bookshelves full of books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i like video chatting, i prefer to see someones face

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes, for the most part. it took a lot of work haha

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: chalkboard screeching. even the idea of it gives me goosebumps, and i’ll even associate it with things that probably don’t make that sound, like matte nail polish

love: anything relating to water, like rain falling or rivers rushing or ocean waves

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i had gone to school at home in Los Angeles and stayed living at home

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes, definitely, and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right: curtain of the window

left: my coffee

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

i’m at my boyfriends, who rents a small room in a house. it smells like our cat, Thomas

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

the racist parts of the South

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

the west coast, but i’m biased because i live here. however, i like east coast weather (i’m tired of the California sun)

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Julian Casablancas

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave a positive impression. leave the world better than it was when you first came in

36: Define Art.

anything that makes you feel something you wouldn’t have felt if you hadn’t seen it, heard it, felt it, etc

37: Do you believe in luck?

kinda

38: What’s the weather like right now?

too damn hot

39: What time is it?

4:19 (almost time to blaze it... i’m joking... mostly)

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes, and yeah... it was my fault for not seeing a car coming in a parking lot, but it was her fault for not seeing me at all and just ramming into me

41: What was the last book you read?

Fruits Basket book 4, now i’m on 5

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

nope

43: Do you have any nicknames?

kari, karinski, mi amor, babe, baby

44: What was the last film you saw?

How to be a Latin Lover, it was on hulu

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

not too many physical ones, i’ve been lucky. i had a mental breakdown once, because i started to have insomnia, and i didn’t sleep for about 6 days

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no, i’m too scared to hurt their wings and cause them to be unable to fly! but there is this place in Houston where you can go and put sugar water on you and they’ll land naturally, and i’ve done that

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Fruits Basket. i re-read it like once a year

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bi, or maybe pan. i don’t really like labels, not to be cliche or anything. i just have always been attracted to various people, and i feel that whoever i’m meant to be with, i’ll be with, regardless of their identity

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

i didn’t start one, which is what i think this question is implying

50: Do you believe in magic?

yes

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not usually, unless it has been piling on for some time and i let it fester

52: What is your astrological sign?

aquarius!

53: Do you save money or spend it?

ugh spend, but i wanna learn how to save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a gift bag for the birthday presents for my boyfriend, some sunglasses for me, and some sour gummy worms for my stepson

55: Love or lust?

lust that turns into love

56: In a relationship?

yes, i mention him a lot cuz i like him i guess

57: How many relationships have you had?

quite a few, but none of them lasted more that a month and a half, so i really only count this one. before, i never wanted anyone getting close and being able to hurt me or cloud my judgment

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

at my boyfriend’s place, working from home and cuddling him when he would wake up (he’s currently working nights and so he sleeps in the day)

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

nope

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

nope, i like to be barefoot

62: What’s your favourite animal?

ugh too many! i love animals! i wanted to be a vet but i knew that if an animal died on my table i would probably fall into a depression... to name a few, or some i think are likely my spirit animal: wolves, deer, elephants, owls, dogs, cat, leopards, tigers, dolphins, orcas, sea lions, penguins... aaaahh too many!

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

compliment something, often eyes (i’m big on eyes), hair, makeup, shirt, etc

64: Where is your best friend?

in school. i’m sad, she starts more than a month before me

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr

perks-of-being-chinese

humorrelated

civilwhore

kickassfunny

purplebuddhaproject

66: What is your heritage?

latina. my dad was born in Chile, and my mom is Tex/Mex (she’s like 3rd generation)

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

i was on tumblr haha. my boyfriend goes in at 12 so he left here at 11:45, so i was just chilling before i fell asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

billy bob

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

just a few days ago

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

hell yeah! i’m hella nice but i can also be very honest when i feel like one is prepared for it. i try my best to never judge. plus i like to give random presents when i think you’ll like something. i also like to bake and give cookies randomly. i always send memes i think are funny or relatable. i’m very good at reading people, too, so i know when to give you space and when to give you a hug

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog! if my boss doesn’t understand that i don’t want him as my boss (i’m saying him, because giving ultimatums like that sounds like something a man would do)

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) nope, i wouldn’t tell anyone, except maybe my partner

b) i travel the world, choosing to take my partner to certain places, and my friends to others, and my mom to others, and some of my favorite family members to others

c) no, i try not to fear death. i believe in souls, so *ominous voice* i’ll be back

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

La Vida es un Carnaval

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

0777

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty is the most important thing, even though it can be really hard

77: How can I win your heart?

tell me your dreams and i’ll tell you mine. be sweet, that’s how my boyfriend won me over. i fell for him when we were only messaging (we met on Tindr) and i fell for him because he was sweet and told me that i deserved better than what i had had before

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yup, it has with me

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

going to UCSD instead of UCLA or CSUN. i needed space to grow, away from home

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7.5 in women’s

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

i’ll be back

82: What is your favourite word?

quiver

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the corazon card in loteria

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

no worries

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

I Like It by Cardi

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

blue, green and everything in between

87: What is your current desktop picture?

it’s a slideshow of nature images and some inspirational quotes

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Trump

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

are you happy?

as a person with depressive episodes and anxiety, this can be very hard to be honest about sometimes. but currently, i’m happy! (yay)

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

take a video, maybe this will go viral and no one will believe. then i grab my pets and slowly walk out, drive to my boyfriends and leave pets there. smoke a blunt because i probably need to relax. then call the popo and send them to my place, and tell them to bring the Men in Black or whoever handle that kinda thing

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

i read minds, and speak to spirits

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

first meeting my boyfriend after talking for two weeks on several different social media platforms... like i said, i like him i guess

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

almost getting raped by my neighbor’s grandfather

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Julian Casablancas

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

rome

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

no, but my uncle who passed away last year was often in jail

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no, but i’ve gotten car sick from Jack in the Box and had to lie down while driving through mountains

98: Ever been on a plane?

a few times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

be kind to yourself first, because you owe it to yourself