#at bc you dont hate them. but bc you hate me you think your hatred of me is a moral justification to treat me like shit

[heybobbygirl]

i love remembering moments from my childhood and just thinking "yeah no a straight person would not fucking say that"

someone needs to sit little 9 y/o me down and explain to her that thinking about kissing someone is not in fact a normal response to hating them

[f0rs4k3nbyth3sp4wn]

making a post about how the fandom characterises elliot bcs ts pmo icl 🥀🥀🥀

(small cw for mentioned attempted murder towards a child [fictional ofc]. but this is the forsaken fandom so i dont think most people will care. oh also this is a REALLY long post so. beware)

sooo im pretty new to the fandom but after having browsed almost every sfw 7n7 fic on ao3, its safe to say elliot's characterisation (or, well, mischaracterisation), is becoming a HUGE problem. a lot of people make him pissy around n7 and c00lkidd, which, to be fair, he has a right to be pissy! but the way they execute this is where things go wrong.

this is a more extreme example, but here's the gist of an au my friend found on tiktok (not linking for the creator's sake, which, speaking of, if you've seen this au and know the creator, please don't harass them. i mean i shouldn't have to say that but im still putting it out there):

honestly i agree with the last sentence he said, even i know this is bs even though i've only been a forsaken fan for like a week or smth 😭😭🥀🥀 to show you why, let me break down what we do know of how elliot's personality, how he feels about n7 and c00lkidd, and how he expresses it:

he is generally portrayed as a sweet and kind person, who always wants to help wherever he can.

he 'hates' n7 due to what c00lkidd did to the pizzeria (according to the fanmade wiki), though nothing has (canonically) ever been said about his feelings towards c00lkidd himself (to my knowledge)

he is not openly hostile towards n7, and has never canonically said anything 'mean' to his face, only acted passive aggressive (e.g. "...just get going").

i do disagree with his feelings towards n7 being 'hate' rather than just 'strongly dislike' (trust me, theyre VERY different things), but i digress. even if we were to say elliot hated n7, some people portray him as not even hating, but loathing him (this is an even bigger problem in pizzaburger fics/aus imo). if you want to write a complicated/negative relationship between two characters who are not your own, it's vital to know the difference between dislike, hate and loathe (as seen below).

(via langeek.co)

the reason i say elliot strongly dislikes n7 as opposed to hate is because hatred is often accompanied with a sense of hostility (while dislike is more avoidant, which fits elliot more imo when we look at their canon interactions). if you hate someone, you will not want to help them, and to be fair, i've read a handful of fics where elliot straight up refuses to give n7 pizza, or is at least hesitant. i dont think that's how elliot would behave. yes he is mad at n7 for not controlling his son, and has a grudge against him, but at his core, elliot is a kind guy. even if he wasn't, he'd never leave someone to die, no matter how temporary.

but continuing on the whole 'elliot loathes n7' dynamic, it becomes even more jarring when you apply it as an 'enemies to lovers' pizzaburger dynamic. even more so if you don't do the work to make it well paced. here are some tips on how you can do that:

pay heed to the rest of this post and do NOT make elliot too aggressive towards 007n7 in your fic. otherwise, it may feel too forced, especially if you don't want to go through the slowburn route. feel free to let the guy be passive aggressive though, just don't make him feel uncontrollable hatred every time he sees 07 (i prefer to think he feels manageable disdain, though i think you can tell by now).

on the other side of the coin, do NOT make n7 too pathetic. im all for him being a soggy wet cat, but at the end of the day, that's a grown ass man that was once very similar to c00lkidd. at the very least, i don't think he'd be crying left and right, considering this is a former terrorist, lol.

this is more me telling you guys to be creative than giving tips on pacing (since im not very creative myself, so i dont have many tips myself rn) but if you want to write the exact moment elliot began to like and respect n7, i don't really like the idea of n7 achieving that by bodyblocking for elliot?? like. it's not typically executed right bcs again. it often does what i advised against in the above two points. if you wanna do smth like that in your fic/comic, try comprimising by making it a clone block instead, and letting n7 be a REALLY good distractor like those aggressive n7 main. (i left this incomplete on accident when i posted this lol)

just overall make sure elliot is respectful to n7 during the late pining and post establishing the relationship stages!! it's perfectly fine if you want him to say 'mean' stuff to him that he doesnt mean (think of how siblings, friends, and again, sometimes partners, joke with each other. tough love or wtv), but don't make him have a hate boner for the guy lol. unless youre writing smut where there are actual hate boners involved, i aint getting involved in allat.

anyways, idk how to end this post off, so on a more positive note, go check out this pizzaburger yaoilicious peak rn !!! and feel free to add your own opinions, idm having a discussion as long as youre respectful, and am likely to add more to this post if you remind me of smth i might wanna say (im not the best at articulating myself lol) !!

oh and also i made an addition to this post too covering the other characters

[wintergrofyuri]

rapid fire voice/vessel yuri for your consideration

hero/eotn. noble knight and fierce dragon but they smooch instead. also i want him to be bridal carried please and thank you

fury/smitten. i. ok listen. listen to me. fury has this sort of self hatred thing going on. and i think smitten could help her take back her confidence. i think she deserves someone to kiss the ground she walks on.

prisoner/cold. idk. i think theyd like sitting quietly together. ofc, cold would Hate just staring at a wall for who knows how long in complete silence, so i see it more like. when cold is overstimulated he seeks her out for comfort. also he can take a nap on her.

contrarian/tower. dominance and rebellion. feared ruler with an iron fist and the royal jester. i guess this is less of a romantic ship bc we Know contra's thoughts on tower. i just want to put them in the same room together. like tom and jerry.

broken/cage. im NOT explaining this one you can get broken in cage. you see the vision. and if you dont. idk die abt it or smth.

wild/opportunist. i know The opportunist ship is witch or wraith but what about the other w. wild. its just a very soft and intimate chapter. i just like when the princess interacts with the voices ok.

cold/every ghost (spectre, the greys, wraith). 😁. thats it thanks.

damsel/hero/smitten. CURVE BALL. 1 vessel 2 voices. but its less. damsel in the middle and more hero in the middle ykno. smitten and damsel walking out of a room with a few lipstick marks on them, a few minutes later hero stumbling out of the same room, fucking Covered in them. do you see it. i know you do.

also b4 you ask, yes im still planning to go through all the ship asks in my inbox. i just needed hero/needle out in the open. its so beautiful. there are tears in my eyes.

[wormeats]

some stuff i want to say, bc it seems a lot of the time mostly only Jewish people speak up about antisemitism

it is antisemitic to claim zionism is across the board evil and fucked up and to wish violence on zionists. Israel exists and people live there and there has been a devastating war that has caused humanitarian crises in Gaza, but Israel is not evil, it has a right to exist and didnt just steal a bunch of land and start wars out of nowhere, the history is actually more complicated than "colonization", and while war is fucked up and horrifying, truly horrific, it is not the same as genocide. genocide is the systematic eradication of a group of people, and while civilian casualities have been horrific, that is why war is so fucking terrible and traumatizing.

Hamas also has contributed a lot to civilian casualties in the way they operated. celebrating and supporting Hamas is fucking horrendous. there can be reasons young people become so radicalized and violent, but that is Not something to cheer on as some sort of resistance movement when it causes so much devastation for people in Gaza and wishes for the destruction of Israel and Jewish people.

Wishing harm on hostages taken on October 7th or celebrating October 7th in any way is also fucking horrendous. These are human beings, random civilians, real people. they have families and loved ones and communities who are terrified for them and grieving them and it is beyond insensitive to cheer on the suffering from your place of immense privilege in this situation and shows a big lack of humanity/seeing people as human beings. i can't believe i see that shit sometimes (but i also can bc the state of things is dire). I can't know how it feels to see people mocking my loved ones who have been tortured for a year and could be killed at any moment or already dead, that must feel so awful, and to know that even if you dont have a connection to the hostages, it could be you or your family as someone who is Jewish or has loved ones in Israel. living in Israel is not a crime or moral failing, living in any country is not a moral failing what the hell. if you can understand people are not their governments for many other countries, why is Israel so hard to see that way for so many people? (antisemitism)

I'm really glad for this ceasefire and wish the best for Gaza/Palestine and its people and have a lot of hope for them to rebuild and recover from all this devastation (scared of shit trump has been saying though, what the fuck. thats a whole other thing tho, i am grieving the election still and scared and trying my best)

it has been so horrible to see antisemitism grow from this and to see such concentrated hatred for anyone who associates with Jewishness in the "wrong" way. the way antizionism has grown so much and into a "fuck all zionism" mentality is horrible. zionism has been warped to mean genocide supporter, and that is fucking horrible bc Judaism has references to it and intercommunity discussions around it, it is in some ways an inextricable part of Jewish culture to some and many people just see it as Israel is doing genocide and shouldn't exist

idk i just dont want anyone to be hurt, war is always horrible and the crisis in Gaza is horrifying, and ive also seen a huge rise in antisemitism in different forms and i hate it and wanted to say some stuff to make my positions clear so that's what im doing now

you can criticize the Israeli government and its actions without being antisemitic ofc, but this is referring to all the hamas support and wishing violence on Israel and thinking all zionists want genocide.

anyone feel free to talk to me about this if it is concerning or upsetting to you somehow, but if you arent a friend or mutual or follower and some random person who disagrees, i can also talk to you but im not a voice with any kind of authority on this stuff, i just have been kinda horrified when i see hamas support or people celebrating Israeli deaths and thinking the hostages deserve the horrible traumas that have happened or should die etc etc etc. horrible. why are you dehumanizing an entire country. (antisemitism is why.) horrible horrible horrible.

[mothiir]

sorry to be that rehash that droid de suggondeez plotline (I REFUSE TO CORRECTLY SPELL FRENCH) with big e stealing a wife but could we pretttty ppLEAAAASE get some more mothiir? i am obsessed with the eldritch inhuman but human behaviour you write him with. it makes me want to chew on him while simultaneously wanting to beat him with a brick out of hatred. i have so many ideas. but ill take anything you offer up fr ill live off the scraps like a feral dog, its just that the the whole david and goliath vibe is TASTYYYY. please dignify my complete insanity for just an intsy winsy second because all i can imagine is how utterly FUCKED the stolenwife!reader's pov is. you try fight back a little too much? oh haha, ur so cute, but keep biting or scratching him and he'll sicc one of the custodes (or a few) to really try you out. let you be so overstimulated youre begging for something in you, and oh boy big e'll sooo do that dont worry. or maybe humble you by keeping you basically half bare like yeah not so cocky now LMFAO IM SO SORRY I NEVER GIVE PROMPTS SO BRAZENLY LIKE THIS BC IM A COWARD FULL OF SHAMEEE UR SO MUCH BRAVER THAN MEEE (thank you sm if you do or dont run with anything i spat out just then)

first of all, never apologise for requesting stuff and also i totally respect your disrespect of the French language. as an englishwoman i am contractually obligated to hate those frog-eating bastards (disclaimer: this is satire pls don’t cancel me). secondly i absolutely love your description of my interpretation of big e because it is also exactly how i feel about him. beat him with brick, pat hair, back to brick. I know i have moved away from that content but I still wave my emperor fucker flag and am always taking requests for him

i promise there will be actual coherent fic soon, but for now here is a bullet pointed list of the sort of things that guilliwife experiences (if there is one in particular you want a full fix of let me know):

the Emperor steals you, and does not think to tell Guilliman — why would he? He fucks you, enjoys it tremendously, then has to go and do some important Master of Mankind warp fuckery that means you spend about a fortnight in some random rooms with no one to talk to but the Custodes. And they barely talk! You never work out if they are bodyguards or prison guards, since you can’t imagine that you are important enough to warrant guarding, but you also don’t think that there is much effort needed to stop you escaping. Where would you even go?

It would be so much easier if he was always a selfish monster in bed — but he isn’t. Worse: he eats pussy exactly how you think a man with millennia of practice would. He likes bringing you to the very edge of orgasm and just stopping, pillowing his cheek on your stomach and watching as you whine and cry, partly with guilt and partly with sheer frustration. You end up begging him to fuck you, stumbling out every title you can think of — lord, emperor, sire, master — but his patience is limitless, and he can keep going for hours, until you’re completely insensible, promising every depraved thing if he will just stop teasing and put it in you

You belong to him. No one else is allowed to touch you — apart from valdor, one of his oldest friends and dearest allies. And captain Kytan. And a few other custodes. Sometimes at the same time. They’re extensions of his most absolutely not divine will — they can partake in the same luxuries he allows himself, otherwise what kind of a leader would he be? He likes seeing his best soldiers happy, especially when it’s because valdor is balls deep in your arse, while he enjoys the sweet warm stretch of your throat. You jostle and whimper between them, so full that you can barely breathe, and afterwards the emperor watches as valdor thumbs open your cheeks, just to watch your holes struggle to close up around the shape of his cock. Still, valdor can’t linger too long - there is already a line

He will cum inside you so much you swear your stomach bulges a little from it all. You have nightmares about popping like a balloon

eventually word reaches the Emperor that Guilliman is looking to speak to him as a matter of urgency — he is currently buried deep in your throat, enjoying the cute little gluck-gluck-gluck noises your gag reflex makes as you try to fit him all the way into your tight gullet. He does not ask you to stop this before answering the vox from a distraught Roboute, who is blathering about his fiancée going missing? The Emperor chuckles a little to himself, patting your hair — ah, having a woman to be wed and a woman in his bed, Roboute is far more like his father than first thought — wait. Ah. Singular woman. Singular. Shit.

[ahotknife]

Do you have any thoughts abt ronans relatiomship with his sexuality pre-tdt fourth of july epiphany? Bc i remember back in the day fandom loved to portray him as deep in the internalized homophobia angst trenches, but thats... kind of not how i read him? Ofc i dont think he's 100% at peace with it (he did not speak it. He did not think it), but I never really got the vibe that it was a big aspect of his self hatred or anything? Like, when kavinsky tried to call him out he was like "yeah no i never said i wasnt", and no one ever really reacts when adam makes quips about it, like its kind of a known open secret? Like, i do think its something he was aware about and on his way to accepting pre-niall, but when we start the series he's just too wrapped up in other stuff (yeah i might be gay but the labyrinth is exanding rn- typa deal). But sometimes i wonder if im missing something and your analysis is always great so i wonder if you have any further thoughts?

hiiiii this is such a fun question tysm for sending. i don’t read him that way either!

i think you’re right, essentially ronan’s relationship with his sexuality is basically like “i might be gay but every night monsters in my nightmares try to kill me so i can’t worry about that rn” and i do agree that he doesn’t really have specifically Internalized Homophobia, BECAUSE: ronan hates himself and is scared of his desire In General. he hates himself but it’s not because he is gay, it’s just because he’s alive and he wants things. every time he mentions his self hatred or waxes angsty and poetic in his internal monologue it’s about all the different things that make him A Weirdo (have you ever seen him without that bird on his shoulder? that’s weird) and not only/just his sexuality. the other thing i do have to say about this though is that trc is not really… the most accurate representation of what it’s like to grow up gay in the american south in the late 00s/early 10s. source? me, who grew up gay in the american south during that time. like i just think there are so many things glossed over or not even included because they didn’t serve the overall narrative, which is fine, but if ronan was “real” he likely would’ve experienced more conflict with his peers/superiors and more conflict with himself and his faith wrt his sexuality. but i digress. ronan hates himself for playing god, for being born, for having wants and desires. he thinks he’s weird for being a god, for being born, for listening to shitty music and dressing like bullets era gerard way. i do also think the general attitude from his friends is kind of “oh yeah, ronan’s gay, but his dad just got murdered so we can’t really worry about that right now”. like adam’s not surprised ronan wants him; gansey’s surprise in the trk post-kiss scene is that adam wanted ronan, not vice versa; declan clearly knows but keeps his thoughts on specifically ONLY this topic to himself for some reason (another thing i’ll have to digress about because Come On…). ronan jokes about it to himself (he was not a fan of lamps) and observes it in others (he wondered if kavinsky was gay) and i think he really only takes offense to gay innuendo on his behalf if it happens to also incriminate someone else (i can’t figure out if it’s you or gansey on top; that’s not what gansey is to me). i don’t think ronan wants to believe his friends know, because he isn’t ready for them to know. they might, but they won’t push him about it. i think “im always straight” was a way for him to test the waters, to see how people would respond to his Other Secret. he DOES consider his desire for adam one of his Big Secrets; he does harbor shame and fear related to it; he does grow to accept this in himself faster than he does anything else (like the dreaming). i just think he’s simply got WAY too much he thinks he needs to hate himself for and can’t focus specifically on his sexuality. i don’t think you’re missing anything, but i do think his internalized homophobia is woven so tightly into the fabric of everything else he’s internalizing it all becomes amalgamus. i hope this a satisfactory answer for you.

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

okay, this is a genuine attempt to engage, i promise! i'm just too cowardly to go off anonymous. personally, i don't disagree with the core things these people are getting at, even though i really disagree with how they go about it.

it's true the creator of TLOU has drawn from the real-world conflict in gaza. he's on record framing it as like "desperate, conflicted people on both sides" narrative, which i think is fucked up when the reality is there is one side of that conflict that endures greater suffering due to power imbalances, racism, etc. i think that is true. it is my opinion (and obviously does not have to be yours!) that TLOU is deeply flawed in framing a real-world conflict with this “both sides” narrative. and i do agree media like this doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it shapes how people understand real-world power, violence, and oppression. i do wish the fandom made more space to discuss how that potentially reinforces the problem, but they're so incapable of doing it without descending into personal drama. they make it about them and not about wanting to actually talk about this because well... this is tumblr so obviously it's curated af and they can't escape their own egos. anyway, i'm not trying to preach here but i'm genuinely curious like, does that not kind of reframe why some people are like, "this is torture porn?!" perspective?

i think the way those two particular blogs that have been named already are going about this is so immature. they made posts on their blogs calling out behavior rather than directly engage with you because theoretically, even if you were calling them out specifically in your original post, i had no idea that was what was happening until they created a narrative saying so and until they perpetuated the drama with their attention-seeking behavior. like publishing that shit on their blogs and claiming they're trying to have a conversation... anyway... i guess i would like to TRY to have a normal convo about this.

i dont know any of the people who are i guess making sub posts about me. again, ive not been tagged in anything, and i dont go seeking out hate posts about myself so lmao. they can continue to circlejerk.

tell ya what. im going to talk about the CONTEXT and TIMEFRAME of Neil Druckmann's actions bc these things matter and are routinely glossed over by people who would rather water things down so they're easier to digest. In depth, complex discussions that acknowledge grey areas aren't as easy as just screaming "ZIONIST!" at anybody who enjoys TLOU, but here's the former:

most of what I see people parroting is an opinion piece from 2020

here is an article from April of this year that does a decent job at condensing Neil Druckman's comments about Israel and Gaza and TLOU

here is an excerpt I think is worth sharing:

The impetus for Ellie’s trajectory in Part II came from Druckmann seeing footage as a teenager of Israeli soldiers being lynched in the West Bank. He couldn’t shake the fact that there were cheers after such violence. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me,” Druckmann told the Washington Post in 2020. “In my mind, I thought ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’” Once that anger subsided, Druckmann said he felt disgusted over his own fury. But that made him think about how humanity processes hatred. “I landed on this emotional idea of, can we, over the course of the game, make you feel this intense hate that is universal in the same way that unconditional love is universal?” 

In a 2023 interview with Haaretz, Druckmann was keen to note that being inspired by something and basing a game on something are two different things. “It was inspired by, not based on,” Druckmann said of The Last of Us Part II and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “That’s a really important nuance, because my inspiration is like my feeling towards a cycle of violence that I’ve experienced as a child growing up in Israel, growing up in the West Bank specifically, coming to the United States and observing it then from the outside, vs. being in it.” “This game deals a lot with tribalism,” Druckmann continued. “Sometimes tribalism on a very large scale, between two groups that are fighting for land—and again, that has obvious similarities to stuff that happens in the West Bank—but sometimes it’s tribalism within its own group…a sense of a group that feels righteous. And when you’re righteous, it’s very easy to diminish another group and say, ‘They are less than me, and I’m correct and they’re wrong, and therefore that gives me permission to inflict violence upon them.” 

It's possible to acknowledge Neil Druckmann's personal experience influencing themes throughout the story without oversimplifying it and deeming the entirety of it as Zionist propaganda. Him leaning into the worst parts of himself/humanity, being disgusted with his ability to lean so easily into that, and wanting to creatively explore it isn't Zionist propaganda. I think where people fail to make the connection in many of these statements is TLOU (both games and first season) was created prior to the events of Oct 7.

(IMPORTANT TO NOTE: this current conflict is another facet of an extensive history of conflict between Israel and Palestine. It's an incredibly chaotic, messy, and violent history that cannot possibly be summed up in this post alone. There is also the history of politics in Palestine itself that I recommend you read about.)

Neil Druckmann was born in 1978, decades into what we now acknowledge as the ongoing conflict. His first real exposure to the violence from the ongoing conflict would most likely be when he was a teen, which is what he references in that "kneejerk reaction" comment. The comments about being inspired by and not basing material on something were in April of 2023.

Now, let's talk about his actions after Oct 7. A few hours after the news broke, he posted an Israeli flag on IG with the caption Israel forever written in Hebrew. A few days after that he posted to twitter about a donation to an Israeli based charity Zaka, who purport themselves to be volunteer rescue and paramedics.

Let's take a minute to talk about Zaka. They have a weird history with questionable actions/leaders across the spectrum. Sometime in the mid 2010s they were given some privileges with United Nations. Zaka immediately started fundraising after Oct 7. A few months later a report came out that exposed the shadiness, purposeful misinformation, and mismanagement of funds by the organization.

Sometime in mid October, Druckmann tweeted about a donation to a Middle Eastern Red Cross humanitarian charity that isn't directly affiliated with any entity involved in the current conflict. The tweet highlighted that Playstation matched his donation, and he was thanking them. This tweet included both the Israeli flag as well as the Palestinian flag.

all this to say....

Surprise, surprise: a guy who spent some of his formative years in Israel has a complicated and oftentimes questionable-leaning-ugly conduct about Palestine.

Water is wet. Demanding that he retroactively apply current circumstances to his past self is not only impossible but also derails legitimate discussion and warranted critique; however, his trajectory is not one I'd readily align with a Zionist.

And bc I know some of you ignorant bitches lack media literacy, I'll make it easy for you:

Fuck Israel and their military state. The Palestinian people deserve freedom and peace, and yes even at times from their own presiding political groups.

catch ya later, Puddles

[conceptofjoy]

yeah ngl i was like Erm... at the kirkhal at first but like. I am seeing. something about it, 1. people see dirk and hal as strider siblings but siblings dont usually create the other... and 2. i think a lot of people enjoy shipping as like. picking their endgame ship that gets married or whatever but sometimes it is a weird homoerotic relationship with someone who used to be you then used to be the person you hate the most (also you)... and what happens when dirk try to heal your relationship with himself...? what happens after dirk realizes not only is hal not dirk, was technically never dirk (once he came to be AR she ceased to be dirk), but also is totally different from dirk in several ways, now? what happens when dirk realized he are a different dirk from when he and hal separated? what happens when he learn to see the good in himself, and reconciled the similarities between himself, hal, and their personalities of the past? what happens when they both realize the sheer amount of vulnerability inherently present between them and dont use each other as springboards for self hatred...?

YESSS EXACTLY. like i totally get it if ppl r off put but the paring bc they see them as siblings n thats ok. to me, family is so odd in hs with all these clones and ultimate selves running around yk. how tf r u supposed to deal with someone more you than you but who’s also not really you lol (dave and dps). a lot of things arent traditional family ways n everyone’s got a weird relationship with their clone.

so when the self loathing clone guy comes along, his relationship with the clone that’s supposed to be his emotional support double is fuckin INTERESTING. the two are the only doubles that have extensive interactions with one another. theyre sooo tired of each other but they wont let each other out of their sight.

and ur right i dont see them as a romantic thing either. theyre just like. weirdly codependent on each other. dirk needs to get out of his own damn head and stop taking everything out on hal and they need to recognize their own personhood

[huellitaa]

₊˚.𖹭 stop romanticising self hatred.

𓏲. something that absolutely infuriates me is just how fucking normalised self hatred is nowadays. let me get this straight you hate it when someone else talks shit abt or hurts one of your loved ones but its PERFECTLY FINE to go hating on and sabotaging and abusing and neglecting yourself ??? girl .

i have said this so many times and i cannot stress this enough that you are and forever will be the most important relationship you have for the rest of your life because youre there 24/7 365 every second every day all the time forever. so it absolutely baffles me how this is the relationship people are constantly neglecting the most?????????

like think ab it for a sec. its absolutely ridiculous????? it saddens me when i see anyone, even little kids saying they hate themselves and getting laughs out of it.its not funny and its not something to be normalised or romanticised. and because we are surrounded with this mindset it reflects on us too and we subconsciously blend into it and absorb it into our self perception.

dont. do. this. its ridiculous and sad and self deprecating and only reinforces other peoples negative perceptions of us further when they may not have even been there to begin with. do you seriously want to be one of those people? do you seriously want people to view you as insecure and self deprecating and desperate for attention and sad and uncomfortable in their own skin? no. no u dont.

i do not wanna hear you saying you hate yourself or anything of the sort ever. again. its stupid and useless and provides absolutely nothing to you. why do you do it? seriously? like? its ridiculous? stfu?

no. you walk into the room and you hold your head high. you make your presence known because your presence is a blessing. you are a blessing. you keep your back straight and your shoulders back and you know your the shit bc u ARE. stop acting like youre not just to fit in with everyone else. stop engaging with them if thats what it takes. youre worth so much more than that.

u are amazing and talented and stunning and can do absolutely anything in the world and yet you still choose to do this. you are amazing. start acting like it ok?? <3

[npd-confessions]

im so fucking tired. yeah blah blah blah dont believe anything you feel/think abt yourself after 9pm or whatever but idc. its 3am and i hate it. my life isnt even that bad, i just blow up at the slightest inconvenience

and im trying so damn hard to act "normal", do do what even i consider to be the "best". i change the way i word things so i dont hurt ppl. i make sure to be gentle even tho itd be a dream come true to bash their skull in. im nice. im so, so nice. i treat ppl so kindly. i hide my hatred and when i show it its in acceptable amounts that ppl will understand and find reasonable. i dont talk abt the things i think abt. and ppl praise me for that. they praise me for covering myself bc its "for the best". im tired. i dont want to do whats "best". i want to be mean, i want to talk abt my horrific fantasies like how normal ppl talk abt their dreams. i want to say my thoughts out loud and not have ppl look at me with horror. i want to stop censoring myself. i want to rip off the black bar over my mouth. i want to scream at the top of my lungs abt how much hate i feel. how much i wish i could hurt and maim and destroy. how much i wish i could just be a feral animal so id have the excuse of being allowed to hunt and kill. i want ppl to look at me with love and adoration, only for me to bite down til their bones are showing. see the betrayal. have ppl tell me how much they care only to throw it away, say how much i hate them, list every flaw, how theyre worthless.

when will it end? im barely even an adult and it just keeps getting worse, even while being in therapy.

at least im not dead. tho i think i shouldve died a long time ago

- 🦢

I hear you, Swan. I’m the same way a lot of the time. Though I can’t fix it or make it better for you, I will say that you’re always welcome to come to the inbox and just word vomit whatever you like and I’ll never judge you for it. You can let me know whether or not you want me to post it and I’ll respect that, but this is a judgement free zone where you can say literally anything and get it all off your chest.

My DMs are also there, if you would prefer. I wish there was more I could do for you. But if it means anything, I’m glad you’re not dead.

[bowsbar]

ideal tacomic to me is Pits in both of their stomachs manifested as thoughts of one another they cant erase no matter how much they try to move on,theey repress them for different reasonts though.To me its like.

Mic represses them bc she haets taco and just wants to move on with her life-To stop thinking about her shitty decisions during her time in the competition. she hates that she still thinks about taco allathis time later when shes in a much better place both physically and mentally

taco represses them bc she does not know what to do with them and in true taco fashion if u dont knpw how to handle your feelings just bottle them up forever (Guatanteed to work)(TRUST ME). she has 0 outlet no mepad doesnt count bc that out let is microphone and mic has made it clear she wants nothing to do with taco. Which taco will adhere to bc i think she respects mic more than she respects herself, which,In and of itself is not a very high bar to clear bc taco is filled to the brim with self loathing (and lettuce and taomato) so she would respect mics boundaries...and just rot.

in the neural network time line i nmy head theres some point along it where taco DOES try to reconcile with mic!but it doesnt end well. mic tells her to leavee her alone. dont talk to me? (sighs) do whatever schemes you gotta do but leave me out of them, okay? i want nothing to do with you anymore. fnd taco goes Ok bchwat else is she suppsoed to say to that.NO? she might try to push back in a fit of desperation upon seeing how the meeting is going (diseasedly) getting real vulenerable which would make anyone who has even the slightest intnetion of giving taco another chance fold but mic isnt like other girls and has a sense of self preservation. in an attempt of pushing for closure taco ends up pushing mic further away than she already was, which already seemed impossible (reached the limit, apparently not). when taco sees that shes done the impossible + the futility of this meeting has fully shown itself to her thats when she dips (sih of relief from mic)(proceeds to punch a hole in the wall bc watching her leave hurt for a reason she knows but doesnt want to acknowledge)

taco then doesnttt try again. tying in with her perceived incapability of starting over. welp it didnt work theres no reason to ever try again haha shucks gues thems the breaks for me or whatever british version that translates to. she has maybe one more shot with pickle and if that goes well (hmm) then theres a crumb of hope for happy tacomic ending? pickle speaks good on taco and plants that seed of forgiveness in mic to unwind those tangled roots of hatred and spite in her stomach that have knotted over so much time. but in order for anything to come of that taco would have to come face to face with mic again and i think shed rather die

[vamos-chilli]

My god people are so miserable in your tags, trying to find a problem everywhere . And btw haven’t you guys wondered that the vibe was maybe just a bit “off” because Carlos was just probably disappointed that he didn’t win that’s it, no need to insult or blame Charles when he did nothing. He won his race beautifully, so no need to be bitter. Some Carlos fans are being really annoying lately sorry

im ngl i dont even think the vibe was weird charles went to celebrate w whoever was collecting the constructors trophy i can’t remember and both of them gave carlos a spray before carlos went to spray max and they chatted before they left the podium like it wasn’t weird to me

but the main thing is people are always going to be like this in fandom . it’s a form of parasocialism in believing that we as viewers can understand the inner workings of our idols from ��knowing them’ through the screen and coming to ‘recognise’ what we see as behavioural markers . happens all the time that’s why we end up with prominent shipping and rpf cultures in a lot of fanbases bc of our interpretation of how people interact with one another .

it can become obsessive for people, the majority of fandoms i’ve been in have been centred around real people and the subject of ‘truthing’ comes up a lot- the strict determination of a trait or personality of a person based on a second hand perspective of them, where the f in rpf is made redundant and people start to genuinely believe their headcanons of a person are applicable to their real life person . larry stylinson is knocking at the door .

because of parasocial and truthing behaviours peoples perception of drivers becomes tilted on what will best fit the subconscious narrative they are building- lando for instance i believe doesn’t deserve the mass hatred of mischaracterising as an awful person he’s been getting this season. nothing has changed between this season and the last except for the number of wins under his belt .

last year people felt the same hostility towards max . a few years ago it was lewis . its the relationship to our drivers as a competitor that’s changed . and those that pose a bigger threat receive the harsher penalties to their character .

it’s not an issue with carlos fans . it’s not an issue with lando fans or max fans or charles fans or anyone . it’s an issue of parasocialism that’s prevalent in every fandom for every character ever . we see it more for these drivers because they are top 5 drivers and they have larger fan bases . none of us are the big bad .

sometimes it feels like us vs them and i’ll tell you first i felt that way at the start of the season because genuinely i was being flooded with carlos hate in my asks and people posting the most insane negatively parasocial conspiracy theories about carlos having paid out the media to talk about him as if he didn’t just win a grand prix 2 weeks after surgery and be one of the most valuable drivers on the market for 2025 (i still get heated about that bc it was just plain disrespectful) . and yeah it did feel like it was carlos fans vs the lecfosi . because sometimes we let it be .

we build these insanely negative parasocial relationships with drivers and it consumes us. i’ve had to block ferrari fans for constantly posting carlos negativity and no doubt charles fans have had to block some carlos fans for constant driver negativity. lando fans will have gotten death threats over a race result even though that’s an insane thing to do and so have oscar fans .

everyone is annoying all the time we all annoy each other with our parasocial truthing of drivers personalities and the only way it’s actually going to change is if

1) we all take a step back to analyse our own behaviours and how we engage with negative parasocial behaviour

2) we stop making call out posts of ‘x drivers fans are so annoying’ because all it’s doing is reinforcing the narrative we want to build

[patrocles]

the thing about the hotd fandom (at least on twt) is i’ve never in my life seen a group of people so committed to being absolutely miserable and hateful for absolutely no reason. it’s almost a little beyond needless discourse, but that the response to any sort of analysis or observation can be met with active discouragement and hatred for doing just that.

i was literally getting called the R slur and told to kill myself at the mere suggestion that baela and rhaena’s storyline (and the dragonstone dynamics as a whole) could have had way more depth than it got? and people got so mad at me for writing a thread on the dynamic between rhaenyra and jace, for suggesting that anything could be less that perfect between them..

and it’s just so mad to me bc regardless of any drama and discourse on asoiafblr, analysis and nit-picking think pieces are our strong suit and its actively encouraged to talk about the thing, expand upon the thing, pore over every detail of the thing.

so to have the series that has kept so much traction because of this type of fan-engagement be met with vitriol when those fans do that and not accept everything surface value and accept being spoonfed Rhaenyra is Good, the blacks are the Goods, you cant like anything else and if you do, you need to die, is INSANE to me. bc it rly reads like yall just dont want a good show. you truly enjoy being angry and pissy about everything.

like you’re always at risk of having someone jump in your shit and throw a temper tantrum in your mentions bc you said something positive about your fave… like it’s so fucking bleak.

anyways, today they’re mad bc someone said they hoped ramin would make a theme for helaena and i guess thats against the law or something

[maladaptivewriting]

i think people self project so much they don't hate ron, but they hate the fact that ron is poor and is much more like all of us than the chosen one or the brightest witch. i've seen so many dramione hcs that are based on the fact that ron is a BAD PERSON? and like, i ship drarry not bc i think draco is a good person or i think ginny is awful to harry, but i like their dynamic. even if i disliked ginny (which i dont) saying she's a bad girlfriend would be poor interpretation. like saying ron is a bad friend. he isn't. their kiss in the last book? not even harry is thinking of the house elves, but ron is. bc even when he was being dismissive of hermione, he paid attention. bc he's a child, he wouldn't always do the right thing, but he learned. people act like they're better than ron, but have they never experienced jealousy? actual fear of losing your family? and still, going back, apologizing, understanding your shortcomings. ron is harry's best friend and harry's favorite person, and the same goes for hermione. when it's just harry and hermione... they work, but they need ron, bc ron is the one bringing them together. and i only bring dramione in the discussion bc wdym you can imagine the biggest bigot to have ever bigoted to grow after the war and you simply decide ron can't either? why is ron the one people think is incapable of change, when he's shown multiple times he does so, if not bc he's the "normal" one. when the brightest witch marries the guy that was just an ok quidditch player, not the smartest student instead of the chosen one or the reformed bastard, i guess it doesn't give fairytale. like, maybe it isnt that deep (but it is) but honestly? sometimes the hatred of ron feels like self-hatred/projection. he's too much like me and you for us to be totally comfortable. and that's why he's so great :((((

so many people refuse to engage with ron on a real level yet they’ll make excuses for their shitty bfs irl.

[stick-ball]

I WAS LOOKING FOR A JEREMY BPD/ANGER ISSUES POST I THOUGJT I HAD SEEN THIS MORNING PLEASE WRITE YOUR HEADCANNONS AGAIN I BEG OF YOU GIVE JEREMY KNOX THE LOVE HE DESERVES

Okay so this is long overdue, but might as well. I guess this is an observation of fandom Jeremy as much as the canon one, so don't come at me.

I dunno read Jeremy as having BPD bcs... bcs honestly have you ever met anyone who has Sunshine shining from their ass? Me neither. Though I have met ppl with severe personality issues who had a coping mechanism like that, of course they weren't young and talented sportsmen looked up to by many ppl and rooted for by many, so they had enough free space and privacy to go absolutely fucked up at other ppl when they were having bad brain hours.

Yes im including myself here.

The name of the game is If I Give Them No Reason to Leave Me They Won't.

Or If I Give Them No Things To Hate Me For They Won't Hurt me.

But spice it up with black and white thinking, paranoia and unhelathy behaviours jumping off the standard spectrum of bottling things out into like, going on a 4 hour run to cool off bcs you are undeserving bcs you are a bad captain bcs you're annoyed at the freshmen bcs they dont care about your shared goals enough and is thay really a them issue? Or is it actually a You issue? Are you blaming others for your own failures again? Look at yourself, you're fucking pathetic, and egoistic at that, you demand things from others but how do you show you care for what others need huh? You think you're a good captain? Keep telling yourself that, before you know it they will all turn against you. Because you're a failure, bcs you cant even make them care? Maybe you're just not a good enough player , or maybe they can see straight through you, see what you are udnerneath the happy exterior. Yo have just not good enough, not trying hard enough, and you want them to look up to.. to That???

Or maybe it is a them issue bcs fuck that, fuck the smiling, fuck the caring, you don't actually care, if they don't care, why would you? 🤔 you don't owe anyone anything you are so done with everyone and everything cant they LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE, HAVENT YOU DONE ENOUGH TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE SMALL THING GO RIGHT ONCE? YOU ARE SO FUCKKNG ANGRY so you have to do something you feel like smashing something, you could, your body is literally a machine, you could show them what you actually think about their Opinions, how pathetic and annoying they are and actually fuck that you have to leave you cant stand being in the same room as them for one second longer.

But the sunshine Jeremy 🌞 exterior slips on so even though you want to crash the doors closed you smile and wave and say something stupid and cheery you even have a fucking spring in your step.

Bcs you're a fucking liar a fucking impostor you can't help it at this point you are a clay figurine that's hollowed out inside.

You are so tired it's like there's a lump of cloth absolutely soaked weighting on your lungs

You actually feel like crying while you wave at alvarez from the stretch of the corridor, making goddamn plans to meet up for group studying maths later in the evening while your lungs constrict holding down a sob.

You hate them all for the next 3 hours.

And then on hour four while you're circling the campus heading back from your walk/jog/run/staring into the distance/jog again you tap into the very comfortable very familiar hating of yourself.

This is a light version of course but I bet Jeremy is that person that dissapears sometimes like at parties ect bcs they are doing some absolutely stupid shit like having sex with a complete stranger or getting drunk but they know enough about the emptiness and self hatred they will feel ten minutes after they succumb to thay behaviour that they learned to do it when the judgment of the ppl who know them won't touch this piece of him. Bcs it feels like a separate piece.

Like he is parcelled into different breeds of fucked up inside and they are all set on a loop in a music playing machine from a highway diner. One song ends another starts you can choose which one if you throw in a dime.

And also we gotta add in the sensory issues, he sees things, he hears them, sometimes he does a dodge while there's nothing coming bcs he thought it was. Some weeks it feels almost he lives from one training to the next bcs he doesn't remember a minute from what's in between. Good thing he taught himself this sunny persona bcs its an autopilot mode that gets him having to answer the least amount of questions when he doesn't fucking remember what happened from 8 am till late afternoon that day.

[starsofang]

You and your cliffhangers. I cant. I feel like it’s an adrenaline rush for you to just hate us and see us scream over them. This is why hatred it developing angie😒😒😒😁

OKAY, FIRST HELLO. I know i’ve said it like three times now, but I’m glad you’re safe from the storm. Florida is getting one after the other so just incase another comes, stay safe😭 You putting out a chapter as soon as you got back was completely unexpected and I blame my phone for not getting me a notification.

No Ghost this chapter :( I feel like if he knew what Dove was seeing he’d be beyond angry. At himself, at Graves. I can even see him being a bit annoyed at the others. Maybe for bringing her onto the ship? I dont know😭 My notes doc is getting longer and longer as the days pass on.

Gaz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABY😭🙏😭🙏 I feel so bad and I’m blaming you for it. HOW DARE YOY LEAVE HIM HANGING. IM LITERALLY NEVER FORGIVING YOU. He just wants to know what the fuck is happening between them and dove is just: :/ and she’s beyond confused about everything. Unreliable narrator #1

I still, of course, love your characterization of Soap. I think I’ve said it before, probably the first few chapters. He’s beyondddd smart if a little dense. “I’m glad Ghost has some like you.” and his face is just like: 😄🤨😄 So. Smart might be too nice of a word.

And of course, how could I forget John fucking Price. It’s the daddy issues probably but he’s just so jejehsoskdiosbeid. “What the fuck is she doing.” Imagining him growling that out in concern and anger is doing things to me. But I have to agree with the other ask! I dont know who said it but I loveeeeeeeeeee your dialogue. It can be really hard to convey emotions through writing but somehow you’re able to do it.

Also, John saying he’d prefer if she stayed with him… I see you. He can’t hide from me.

Other ask had the dresses right. Like almost exactly how I pictured it but this one is also right. I think it’s be a bit more grey to be honest, and the sleeves might be longer. But it’s like a classy but modest dress.

I feel like they’d go feral. They ARE pirates to be fair, and pirates definitely aren’t known to not be brutes. Though, they might have a bit more decorum. Barely. But still..

ANY WAYS this was a very long ask and to keep myself from annoying you and being demoted from your favorite reader (don’t you dare tell me i’m wrong) i’m going to end this here :) As always, I love you and you’re writing. MWAH 😙

u don’t hate me, i know you’d miss me if i was still gone from the hurricane 🥱

ghost will be in it next, it was hard to fit him in bc hes going thru it rn 😔 now that graves bitch ass is back ghost will definitely be more present and oooo i can’t wait to see it

im #1 gaz lover but making him suffer a little bit rn is giving me adrenaline and i cant stop doing it, its lowkey like a drug and im getting my fix. he wants to kiss us sooooo bad haha smash.

soap can do no wrong i fear, he’s kind of like my dog in this fic or like a pet bc hes just kind of there being silly while also having his moments of redemption and idk i just love him so much i cant help it. also add me imagining him in wet clothes and a wet mullet in that one scene near the end and I was suddenly the dog

john can also do no wrong idc how many haters he has, i will die on that hill. how can u see his banter and his way of teasing and not think he’s fine. r u serious. ALSO THE GROWL MY GOOOOD I WAS TWEAKING WHEN I WROTE IT CUZ ITS ALL I COULD SEE IN MY HEAD AND I GENUINELY STARTING TO TWITCH

that dress is a yes 😫 i’m not up in here imagining glamor, hello this is 1800s pirates and lowkey we’re a lil dirty and stinky, IN MY MIND I WANT MODEST BORING DRESSES BC READER IS NOT A MODEL she’s literally a prisoner (ex ig) on a ship and things get nasty, plus the practicality??? on a ship??? I AGREE but like i said im a black dress girly thru and thru because thats all i wear

I LOVE YOU MWAH