#assumed abuse
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https://www.tumblr.com/dcxdpdabbles/737569117273456640/there-are-so-many-fics-out-there-where-danny-is?source=share
So after reading this âď¸for the who knows how many time, when an idea or something just popped out. Now we all know that in this magnificent fandom(dpxdc) that Amity is a no go area right? Well what if and I mean what if the Bats after talking with sad trenchcoat man(Yes I called John that and no I will not stop thank you very much) about Amity, Conny goes hesteria cause he outdated and stuff or just didn't know King Phantom but yeah starts talking about Pariah Dark(who is redeemed or just in the dog house cause he pissed of clockwork), ghost zone being dangerous etc etc.
Now this makes the bats assume even more that our space boi Danny is not safe. So what they do? After idk bribing the judge or somehow provide 'proof' of abuse which makes the Fenton's lose custody(Danny is not happy), takes Danny to Gotham(via knockout cause my boi will go feral), then returns back to amity as the furry squad. Do some hacking shit but since they don't know Fenton tech and Fenton thinking(I genuinely believe the Fenton's are Hella smart like Hella smart it might piss of Lex) and probably set up the self destruction system(TUE vibes).[which to normal people is the portal closing shut permanently,data is gone or encrypted by which a Fenton can access idk it's your choice person who decides to read and write or see this interesting].
Now we can make it that either one adult comes back alive or survived the blow due to being heavily ecto contaminated or be a ghost but I'm hoping Maddie (and Jazz) cause guys lets be honest here. Maddie is a beast when it comes to her family and kids, I can tell through canon wise she will literally go through hell, Tartarus, hell even throw hands with some ancients just for her kids. But anyways one Fenton comes back, teams up with Vlad(could be poly or good asshole uncle Vlad) along with the Elinor or Elizabeth(Yes Dani's other name is Elizabeth or Elinor) and Dante to try get Danny back.
Now to our boi we love, care Danny. So we have suspicious, angry and so many emotion Danny Fenton-Wayne. So we Danny who was practically taken away from his safety, his home, family, his friads and into another on in America. Now we can all agree that Danny is not happy about this and not because of the -whole taking me away from my family and no I'm not being in denial they love me so stop talking u ancient poorly dressed furries- It's about something much bigger and we all know, we hate it, despised it and we call it.... ANTI ECTO ACTS or as I like to call THE REBOOT WITCH TRIALS.
So that abomination there is something Danny hates,fears so him being in America puts him in bootleg men in black because of a bitch named Lex Luthor. It's like painting a bullseye on him, a huge ass arrow pointing at him with the signs 'Im a ghost in America come cut me up'. So yeah its bad for him especially when he finds out the Wayne's are sponsoring The furry squad and the justice league which in turn make things worse for him and the ghost zone cause the ghost(and other supernaturals cause u can't tell me, once a vampire or mermaid find out humans are now hunting ghosts they wont immediately assume they are next? Let's cause mass panic with the other supernaturals, witches having PTSD, they tweeking seeing the acts)are demanding blood, war, retribution from the living. So he is in emeny territory trying to survive, try get back to his family and try to calm the other ghost cause they thought he died to the explosion(yeah Danny won't be okay)but never came to the ghost zone so vengeance for the king.
Welp that what came up in mind, u can ignore it, or whatever just thought I share something with yall. But yeah basically for the last paragraph I want maybe the Justice League to either face backlash or punishment for agreeing with the law, cause in most fics we don't get to see what the ghost think or if they forgave em. Cause while the humans(idk why I'm calling people human when I'm human as well) think the Justice league was writing a wrong most will question if this won't happen again. I want the supernatural to actively be upset with them especially those from the magic committee, to question whether they should be trusted seeing as this was a retry of the Salem Witch Trials Era. And to exactly be wary and suspicious of Bruce or just genuinly not trust or like him cause guys let's be fucking honest here while yeah the bats is awesome we forgot one thing he is human flesh and bones, something so fragile in the eyes of all supernatural that they can accidentally squish him because they used to much strength or smth. And suddenly some supernaturals are scared of him? They fear him because of what? His paranoia, his contingencies? Nah that should be a warning cause logically and I mean logically can u tell me straight in my face that u trust this man while knowing he stalks you 30/7, goes through Ur personally stuff without permission btw, breaks in your house when u were at a wrong time, wrong place?? Have either his kids pretend y'all are buddies or your lover just to keep u on a leash?.
And if we are going to do the Lazarus Pits is ectoplasm, then the bats are done for especially Jason. Cause I can tell once the ghost found out the league agreed to the acts be lawful they won't help, cause why help the ones that tried to eradicate them?(how u may ask? Well it's simple, some soon to be fading corrupted ghost escaped when the portal first opened causing massive damage, some deaths etc and maybe the other reason maybe the citizens first cause of the negatives in the show, public enemy number 1 so forth). So the league after failing formed the GIW and soon left Amity thinking the people will be 'safe')
One note, would it be funny if the League of Shadows find out about the Acts and Lazarus pit being ectoplasm and just had straight to Amity for protection and probably swear loyalties to the ghost zone since the be liminal asf lonly to be stopped by Maddie and after some good ol' fashion Fenton style shenanigans, Maddie is either adopted to be the new Demon head or is the demon head??
So yeah that's what came to mind, so tell me what u think.
#good Fenton parents#Let Maddie have a good fanfic#Ghost king Danny#Dan phantom#Can we all just admit the Anti Ecto Acts is just a gorey reboot of the witch trials back in Saleem#Ra's pledging loyalties to the ghost king#assumed abuse#Bruce trying to forcefully adopt Danny and the Fenton's are refusing#Danny Fenton#Good Vlad Master#Fenton-Masters Clan#Supernatural gang being in mass panic right now#Witches having flashes of Saleem#BAMF Maddie#DpxDc
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Following an accident, Danny wakes up in Gotham City in a DC universe. Lacking any forms of ID or possessions beyond the clothes on his back, heâs forced to commit some crimes to survive. Minor crimes, but still.
And then he gets caught.
During the court proceedings, they come to the mistaken conclusion that heâs a Meta suffering from some psychiatric issues such as Cotardâs Syndrome (a real rare condition where a person holds the delusional belief that theyâre dead/donât exist/etc).
Thus, between his âneed for mental treatmentâ and the concerns about housing someone with his unique physical traits, he is sentenced to spend time in Arkham Asylum. Heâs under pretty low security aside from the anti-Meta stuff and has more freedoms than some other inmates, but itâs still not a great experience. Even at the best of times, Arkham is hardly a nice place.
Some of his fellow residents are decently chill all things considered, but lots very much arenât.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#danny phantom x dc crossover#danny fenton in gotham city#just gonna slightly sidestep any questions about how the containment systems work or why âgenuinely a ghostâ is so unbelievable#i wanted to put Danny in Arkham so for whatever reason It Just Works#maybe danny had a bit of anti-ghost tech with him that they reverse engineered#or maybe something already existing in DC works#and as for the âdeadâ part⌠maybe his halfa/Realms nature is too unique so they assume he must be wrong about being ghostly? idk#also i think thisâd be a good opportunity for a dpxdc fic to explore non-woobified versions of the rogues#like. where they arenât watered down to be completely chill and barely criminals#e.g. yeah Poison Ivy cares for the environment and has protected kids but sheâs still a terrorist whoâs killed and mind controlled people#Or Killer Croc who is very much a victim of abuse/hate for his appearance but has also still attacked people and engaged in cannibalism#Theyâre not complete monsters but theyâre not wholly innocent either#The story idea takes place in a mental hospital for (mostly) criminals! Let them have done genuinely bad things even if theyâre improving!
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do younger people not know about t(-_-t ) anymore.... do they know about ( o3o) do they know about tilde abuse ~
#Have distinct memories of someone in a forum I frequented as a kid talking about banning tilde abuse people used them all the time#:U <- another good one#I assumed they did but based on a few comments...#~(owo~ ) ( ~o3o)~ le derpin around
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this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.
he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.
Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.
to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."
but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?
again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.
#deerchatter#abuse cw#im going to be honest i came to hate him over his years on tumblr.#even if he'd done nothing wrong he was normalizing an extremely unhealthy relationship between a fandom and creator#and he always spoke with so much pathos and so little actual substance. he's an idiot desperate to seem smarter than he is#obvs didn't assume anything about his actual moral character but he sure was spreading some toxic ideas intentionally or not#absolutely heartbreaking and horrible that things turned out to be as bad as they were.#genuinely wrote this out because im hoping this can all AT LEAST make some people aware of the tactics he was using#so the next shithead celebrity who rocks up to social media with an agenda won't have as much reach#counting on people to read the best intentions into this post. i don't give a shit about celebrity drama i want people safe#edit: actually fuck it putting this in the tag#neil gaiman
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and itâs why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didnât just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. Heâs been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as theyâve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but itâs not his first time working with them. I think itâs just something important because this isnât just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they couldâve been, since he hadnât done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isnât a crime and heâd be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didnât give Jim the job this wouldnât have happened is underplaying that theyâve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldnât admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curlyâs trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesnât like him but doesnât trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip itâs implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. heâs retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because heâs at his core an avoidant bully who canât take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didnât want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of itâs in the comments
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Religious queers are holy and loved
Religious queers are not sad or misguided or in need of saving
Your own issues with (almost always Christian) religious trauma do not give you a key to lash out laterally at religious queers or assume they're being hurt or abused by their beliefs
#cosmo talks#this is not to say religious abuse doesnt happen to queers i myself have been put through conversion therapy#but its also NOT your place to assume all religious queers are abused by their religion
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Just. percolating thoughts about Bill, denial and his lies are lies. Bill as a character I'd say is characterized by deep deep denial. He's a character that's both aware and immediately not aware of his feelings and his situation; it's all very doublethink. It's about denying everything and drowning it all out (yeahhhhh big partier? Alcohol and drug abuse? Totally a result of being healthy; not to mention the dissociative episodes he APPARENTLY GETS???).
Because essentially, hes constantly warping his perception of everything occurring around this glass tower he's built of who he is, a ruthless, unfeeling tyrant of a monster, akin to a god (and beloved by humans when he deigns to charm them). This persona is something that he's made in response to his own belief that he's a monster, his own deep insecurities for being a freak and wanting to have proper connection, care and vulnerability with someone that he's lacked. It's a persona built upon self destructive tendencies, denial and the pursuit of pleasure for the purpose of drowning out anything uncomfortable, that he's practiced for trillions of years. And at the same time these insecurities that built this persona are all deeply denied in the way he'll deny that Ford meant everything to him but also when asked if Ford meant nothing to him, backtrack. He's both aware and not aware; he'll never have a thought of 'oh I loved Ford' because that is IMMEDIATELY repressed. He can't even admit that. It doesn't fit who he's supposed to be, it's vulnerable, and we can't have that. This triangle is more repressed than a fucking gay Catholic priest. He's both emotionally literate and completely illiterate because any emotions or situations that don't fit his fictional self gets immediately suppressed/skewed in perspective.
And that's how he's both good and terrible at manipulation, because he knows how to play people and can be very good at it, but his denial gets in the way. That's why you see him not talking about his dimension unravelling to Ford to ask him to make the Portal, instead of pulling the rug out under Ford; because it's vulnerable, it doesn't fit 'him as a monster' and even if it would get his way he can't do that. He mentally cannot even conceive of asking that and can't even in a way to himself accept that his dimension is unravelling and he can't do anything prevent it, can only take over earth instead. And he assumes that Ford will simply just bow to his will because that's what's supposed to happen, right? And it's the same as his lies about all the people he contacted over human history that were annoyed by him; he's too far in denial to even acknowledge that they didn't like him because hes supposed to be loved by all he tries to charm, that's why he puts the pages in to TBOB because he thinks it makes him look good, even if anyone looking at that goes 'yeah that's not what's happening'.
And this is all the most obvious with what he did with his dimension, his guilt around it because if pressed he will never admit those feelings, and he doesn't even admit it too himself; in fact when it's brought up by others such as time baby he gets angry, because his denial over the situation becomes questioned. And it's only ever one instance, that you see Bill admit to vulnerability, to admit to being actually aware of any of all these underlying feelings, and that's the moment that he shares unprompted about Euclydia with Ford, in response to Ford's own vulnerability... in which he indirectly calling himself a monster.
And it's all so fascinating, because if his denial is ever properly cracked enough, oh BABY you know that glass tower is going to shatter, everything is going to come down like a house of cards, and Bill will be left in the wake of everything that he's done, with nothing to shield him emotionally. And so isn't it better to be in denial? To deny he killed his dimension? Doesn't it hurt less than to admit all along it was guilt, it was insecurity, and that after his dimension burned, he's razed civilizations to the ground in denial and self-destruction?
post previous to this (similar vein)
#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf#gravity falls#the book of bill#TBOB#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#gravity falls meta#anyways uhhhh yeah been thinking bout bill clearly a lot. but. yeah#back to bill rotating around in the brain hours again whoops#but yeah christ this man is... built on denial#like yeesh where do you even begin in therapy because you begin to tug on it and it all begins to fall down around you. and youve had#trillions of years of denial. its second nature to you its muscle (mind?) memory.#i keep being like man this triangle need therapy- oh wait hes in therapy#but yeah. ford made him feel safe. feel connected. and bill was vulnerable with him. first time in trillions of years he was honest.#and then it all came crashing down and Bill did what he always did; into his glass tower. and he assumed always always assumed#that sixer was going to come back (he needs to come back) because they all love him (sixer loves him doesnt he?)#and Bill could offer him anything. and then Ford didnt come back and you see bill get abusive and upset because it wasnt supposed to#be like this. its not supposed to and he had suddenly lost the only person he had ever felt accepted and safe around. and suddenly that#worship-that love- it was something hes starving for even more acutely but he cannot even admit it#man bill you fumbled him sooo hard rip
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8, 33, 37 & 39 for the tav/durge party banter asks? đ
8. Companion/romance death reactions
Romanced: "No! Not you, not yet!" "Shit!"
Not Romanced: "No wonder Withers stays with us, with all the business we give him." "HA!" "Oh dear. ... Have we agreed on who gets their armor?"
33. Party banter with Minthara
"You fight well, for a jaluk." "You fight well too; for someone who begged for our help after we kicked her arse."
"Say, Minthy, you ever get tired of being so full of yourself?" "Not as far as I remember - you might wish to try that, sometimes." "Har har, let's make fun of the amnesiac again. So creative." "Have you ever been in the Underdark, Strike? You do claim to be a drow, don't you?" "In theory. And yes, it wasn't much to look at." "Your ears twitch when you lie, in case you haven't noticed." "Shit, they do??" "No. But now you gave yourself away." "Oh fuck off." He doesn't like her, that's the main reason why he's on the side of the grove in act 1.
37. How would they respond to a player character prompting them with, "Tell me about yourself"?
"Which one of us has amnesia, captain? I'm a blank slate, in case that somehow slipped your hole-free brain. Or did you want me to do an exercise in creative writing?" He takes it as you mocking him so you get a disapproval
39. If romanceable, what lines would they say if a player character prompted them with, "Can I kiss you?"
"Thought we were past the point of asking." tries to play it off cool but he's into it
"Really?? Now?" as he's already moving towards them.
"What, you think there's a chance I'd say no, captain?" as he swoops them up (if they're smaller body type. If they're a small race, he kneels, for big body types, he steps closer and on his toes)
"If that's an order, I guess so~" same as previous
#really should draw some of those kisses.....#im writing his romance so don't worry you'll get more detail on that#but it's quite softer than i think you'd assume!#like the whole point of it is that he gets way too dependent on you and you have to make a choice on whether or not you will abuse that#or if you push him towards bhaal or away from him#he's like the one partner who you could be kind of abusive to and he wouldn't leave you unless you finish his personal quest#answered asks#oc strike#durge#ask game#companion strike#the dark urge
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Thinking about Geo's childhood
#standing by my headcanon that he was born to a munce and immediately abandoned for being visibly part geckle#(the blades had not been stolen at this point but there was already enough geckle/munce animosity that a hybrid child would be frowned upon)#he was taken in by geckles who assumed he was one of their own (his actual geckle parent did not claim him tho)#and once he started growing much larger than an average geckle child they realized he must be (part)munce#and they started REALLY mistreating him#put him to work. verbally abused him. constantly reminded him he was some freakish munce (hence him referring to himself as a munce with#geckle colouration rather than a geckle/munce hybrid)#also I'm a big fan of the headcanon that HE was Mr Sparkles that's such a cute idea#anyway AUGHGHGHGHGHFHFHHFHFHHFHGHJFHFJGHJFJFFHGHFHGHGGHGGHHGHGHG#ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago geo
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I loved mouthwashing but my boyfriend was right when they told me to not look at anybody's opinions on it because no one in the fandom could read basic spoonfed themes before they decided to play a very layered, abstract, symbolically-driven psychological horror with unreliable narrators
#yes. jimmys character is necessary. he is the DRIVING FORCE OF THE CONFLICT!!#no. giving anya flaws was not misogynistic. THEYRE ALL FLAWED!!!#yes. daisuke's death was necessary. THEY ALL WERE!!!#no. curly was not a bad person. HE WAS A NORMAL PERSON WITH COMMON CHARACTER FLAWS!!!#im eating you all. im eating you. get on the cake table#this happens every time a horror media breaks into an audience that doesnt like horror tbh#mouthwashing#also curly was not protecting an abuser. he can not read minds he only knows as much as jimmy and anya tell him about their relationship#and both of them are extremely guarded individuals. you dont know if he was 'protecting' him#he acted pretty surprised and off-put by jimmys actions when he did lash out at him. like he had never seen that side of him before#why would he assume abuse before he assumed an accident#especially when he had known jimmy for so long. people arent exclusively good or bad
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When you grow up having the worst possible things happening to you around every corner, you can't just keep living your life without expecting the worst.
This isn't even paranoia, it's learning by experience. You can't just start expecting nice and safe and kind things to be put in your way, if they never were, it would not be backed up by any real-life experience you had. It would feel like you're dreaming if you suddenly expect your life to change completely and contain different events from anything you've experienced before. We don't work like that. We learn from experience. We can only predict what's ahead by looking at what's behind us, our collective experience on earth is the only pointer we have to what else we can expect to happen.
If you often told that your expectations are twisted, or that you're just looking for the worst in people, or assuming everyone has bad intentions, that's not something you should be blamed for. After suffering abuse and mistreatment, you have to be on the lookout for these things to prevent the worst and to save your life. You cannot afford to get trapped in abuse again, you have to look at every person and ask yourself, what is the worst they're capable of. What would they do if they had the complete power over me. And you have to work with that, make sure it doesn't get to it, as much as it's in your power to do so.
Abuse victims have to go above and beyond to keep themselves safe, because we get targeted. It's not something we want to do, or something we do to make our own lives difficult. We don't enjoy it. We want to be safe. We want to let our guard down. We want to relax and believe we're surrounded by people who wouldn't harm us. But, if we're wrong, the consequences can be disastrous. And getting abused by someone we trusted was safe for us, that is not something we can survive endless times in life.
#learning from experience#abuse recovery#healing from abuse#trauma recovery#vigilance being misdiagnosed as paranoia#assuming bad attentions to keep ourselves safe#i made this mistake too many times recently#and now i'm in the worst mess psychologically then i was years ago :(#i was supposed to be getting better from trauma#instead i'm devastated on a whole new level#i didn't realize how vulnerable i could be as an adult#i lost the faith in myself after being betrayed like this
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i am begging one single person in this entire show to consider, for perhaps one single second, THE POSSIBILITY THAT THERE IS A REASON HOUSE HATES HIS DAD THIS MUCH
#everyone is so dreadfully shocked and confused by him not wanting to go to his own father's funeral#but not no one makes any real effort to find out why#and that's not to say house would actually talk about it#(though tbh he might if someone asked in a genuinely nonjudgmental way. and he does tell wilson a couple of things.)#but either way it just feels like everyone is assuming#that house is just being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole#and it has occurred to no one that house's late father could possibly be at fault for his son not wanting to attend his funeral#i just. it would be nice if someone would consider the notion#that a person not wanting to be at their parent's funeral might have a valid reason for that#(like abuse. or something)#anyway this was a good episode#i'm always up for for daddy issues and hilson road trips#(i am considerably less up for forcing abuse survivors to honor their dead abusers)#house md#house season 5#house 5x4#op#john house
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The last thing I'll say, and I'm saying it because it applies broadly- is that there is very rarely a perfect victim OR evil mastermind and everyone needs to get better at recognizing and responding to that fact. Victims of legitimate crimes or horrible acts can be aggressive, or bitter, or biased or a dozen things that make them 'unappealing' to listen too. They can have willfully exposed themselves to content or been in circles they really shouldn't have. They could have been given warning signs that they missed or outright ignored. They might exaggerate or misremember their claims. That does not mean they are no longer victims. If you completely missed the red flags and were taken advantage of- you were still taken advantage of. If you exposed yourself to harmful content that was upsetting or distressing, you were ultimately still exposed to harmful content. Maybe it is "your fault" for being there, but you were still there and it still happened. Especially in terms of online, its just shockingly very easy to end up in places where you are in danger of harm- and its shockingly easy to not notice that you may have put yourself in that position until its too late. If you want to be supportive of victims, you need to recognize that very often victims did things that were inappropriate themselves, put themselves in harmful situations, didn't back out when they should have, missed "obvious" signs... and are still a victim in the end. Likewise, abuse ranges from the intentional to the neglectful. Sometimes an abuser can even do both at once. People do harmful things completely on accident- even repeatedly. It can be mental illness or stress, it can be a dozen things- but yes sometimes people have patterns of behavior that are harmful and destructive that they either aren't aware of, in denial of, or don't get how bad they are about it. That does not erase the harm those behaviors cause. If you handle a situation poorly, it could just be that you handled it poorly- you didn't think through your actions or their implications. But from the receiving end, it doesn't matter how accidental it was, its going to often read as intentional, or a pattern, or whatever. And ultimately the harm is still done regardless of what it was. There is a world of difference between harm done intentionally and harm done through stupidity, neglect, or plain old mistake- but it not always easy to identify which is which- and harm is still done in the end. Sometimes people are harmed because someone saw an opportunity to do so, and sometimes they're harmed because no one stopped to question if it was even a risk. Both of those still ultimately result in someone getting hurt. The point of this is that if you are ever going to analyze situations critically you can not be looking for just "the good one" and "the bad one". You can't just weigh initial impressions on a scale and hope one side tips further and call it a day. Believing victims doesn't mean you need to throw caution to the wind, but likewise bad actors or misinformation doesn't mean your reaction should be that there couldn't possibly be victims. Be very mindful of how you interact in situations where someone was potentially hurt. Being 'critical' can easily boil over into disregard for harm- both the harm the involved might have done to each other and the harm you yourself do in how you respond to it.
#t.extpost#drama#i guess.#sorry i dont really want to talk to much about drama but#it was rubbing on me to see people act like whichever side they decided was in the right meant nothing bad ever happened to the other#sometimes everyone fucks up and everyone gets hurt in different ways!#even in situations where there IS a victim and clear undeniable abuser there is sometimes going to be victims who just look like the asshol#and theyre still going to have been the one hurt#and actual real abusers will use that to their advantage by going hey look at what an ass they are#othertimes people will be manipulative and awful and its mental illness and not evil. it doesn't erase the harm they cause through their#manipulation or by how they act but it does mean they didnt have a four year plan on how to ruin someones life#and probably shouldnt be treated or assumed as such. even if never forgiven for how they acted#looking only for evil masterminds also gives people an outlet to brush off the real issues with their behaviors#tdlr theres no easy answers to how to deal with these kind of things but we also cant pretend like the only thing we can do#is to pretend like theres never problematic people who are actively dangerous in their communities
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I donât think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didnât under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldnât. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. Itâs not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmyâs relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curlyâs friends. Itâs not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in donât want to see spiral further in Anyaâs case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmyâs actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmyâs stability first is both out of bias but also the fact heâs aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said itâs hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isnât even saying he doesnât care about Anya but heâs not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. Itâs a complicated thing but heâs still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasnât much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didnât punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her heâd do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and thatâs not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how heâs a big picture guy and itâs not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits heâd drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we donât get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I donât think Curly underplaying Anyaâs trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isnât his to bare like he canât#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and thatâs the problem really cause heâs just used to actually fixing it for him and itâs the case#this is the one thing he really couldnât like I think heâs a good guy but heâs trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they donât like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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*The Coven sat around together*
Alice: Agatha why do you always smile? Like even when angry or hurt etc?
Agatha: Just because you see a smile doesn't mean you know what's going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool my dear, it inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures no matter what comes your way, you are in control.
Lilia: âŚyou use it as a defence mechanismâŚ
Agatha: âŚyes. I do. Facial expressions, my words, speech patterns. Majority of the time they arenât genuine, merely a defence mechanism Iâve had to learn, use and perfect. I communicate through actions more than words. A person is less likely to lie when it comes to actions. Itâs not impossible of course. But in the heat of the moment a personâs instinctual actions can tell you a lot about them.
*Coven realising how many times Agatha has instinctively tried to protect them even when powerless*
#incorrect quotes#agatha all along#Agatha Harkness#lilia calderu#alice wu gulliver#coven of chaos#lol#jennifer kale#billy maximoff#rio vidal#< those 3 arenât directly mentioned but are there hence the tags#yes the first bit is from Hazbin Hotelâs Alastor#I do think Agatha communicates through actions over words and assumes over people do to#whereas Rio communicates through words and expects Agatha to do the same#hence where their miscommunication comes from#also Evanora is definitely verbally abusive at least (minimum)#hence why Agatha doesnât believe in words anymore#even if sheâs the best word smith around
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idk how to tell you this but it's actually not feminist and "believe women" to assume that every man around children is a pedophile. that's a moral panic. you are the victim of a moral panic.
#god i'm so tired#assuming every man is a child abuser is actually soooo hashtag feminism#because it's very feminist to imply that only women are capable of taking care of children
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