#absolutely heartbreaking and horrible that things turned out to be as bad as they were.

[seventeendeer]

this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.

he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.

Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.

to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."

but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?

again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.

[hellrices]

Menendez Brothers Case

Ok I just want to touch on the topic of the MONSTERS show once again to just say fuck Ryan Murphy, I mean holy shit. Not only does he portray an actual real-life case incredibly inaccurately, but this is what he had to say when the ACTUAL Erik Menendez called him out on it

How much of a shithead do you have to be to first of all, take an actual case where the people involving it are still alive and well, and turn into some incestual, aggressive drama fantasy of your own and when the people that the case concerns TELL you that it's full of lies, you come out saying they're just "playing the victim" and should be sending you flowers??? Disgusting. And the fact that the show (especially the actor who plays Lyle - Nicholas Chavez) is encouraging people to dress up as Erik and Lyle for Halloween is sickening. These are actual people and this was an actual case regarding the murder of two incredibly wealthy individuals and the abuse that they inflicted on their children. It is not to be treated like the latest Halloween trend.

Now concerning the actual case, I realised the more I researched about it, the angrier it made me so I just need to rant about it right now (My last post was mostly regarding the trial sessions but I really can't stop thinking about the actual abuse they'd suffered throughout their home life.) I have to say though, it's absolutely disgusting and appalling that an ACTUAL statement that was made by the prosecution (Pam Bozanich) was that "Men cannot be raped as they lack the necessary equipment to be raped." Along with an outrageous insistence that any type of sex that occurred between Jose and his children was not forced which is absolutely untrue - Lyle mentioned that Erik had it so bad that he considered his brother to be a suicide risk and Erik himself admitted to having suicidal desires and terrible coping methods. He would wait till he was home alone to scream till he was trembling and stick pins, needles and tacks into his thighs just to feel the pain and often dissociate as he was being assaulted. Erik also said that he, at a very young age, created a persona for himself. "The Hurt Man", to try and separate himself from the situation when his father would take advantage of him. He would use this nickname for himself in his mind all the time and the only purpose of this 'hurt man' was to get hurt. He felt that he was protecting his mother and family by getting hurt in place of them. (Which honestly, breaks my heart. To imagine he was under 10 years old when all of this was happening makes me sick to my stomach.)  Erik also often questioned his sexuality because of the continuous assault that took place and his father who was the one to rape him, went around calling him slurs and spewing homophobia towards him. (Which I mean, holy shit- how can you ASSAULT your own child to the point where he drowns his food in lemon during every meal in hopes of distorting his sense of taste so it would be less painful during the rape and turn around and make fun of him for "being gay" (Erik was not gay by the way but is increasingly supportive of the LGBT community)) Even to find out that both the brothers thought they were protecting their mother by enduring all this abuse at the hands of their father instead of her - only to find out that she had known the whole time??? I can't imagine the despair at finding out that your own mother didn't give a shit about your father having raped you for 12+ years. Both brothers said that in that moment, they saw both their parents as the same person and couldn't differentiate them in their minds. It's heartbreaking knowing both boys absolutely loved doting on their mother just because she was less abusive than their father. But the fact of the matter is that she was a horrible mother. She would drink all day, starting about every afternoon and had mental breaks very often where she would scream, flail her arms about, throw things at anyone near her and completely ignored everything Jose was subjecting the boys to. Lyle also testified that she would sexually assault him as a child (As far as I'm aware, she didn't do the same with Erik). Both parents would beat their kids and left no room for privacy, often snooping through Erik's journals and being intensely intrusive and controlling.

Here are SOME incidents of abuse (not sexual in nature) which really show how their parents would go OUT of their way to make sure all their kids lives were a living hell  (Keep in mind, this is not including all the times they brothers would be beaten up by their parents) : - Whenever he spotted a ditch or cliff on the side of the road, Jose would drive towards it and put his knees on the steering wheel and put his hands up, seeing how long it would take for Erik to grab the steering wheel and turn it away from the ditch/cliff as a way to measure Erik's bravery (The longer Erik would sit with the car going towards the ditch/cliff, the braver Jose considered him to be) -Erik confided in his mother about his fear of the dark and monsters hiding in his room. In response his mother locked him in the basement while his father tormented him from inside it and left witch masks in his closet to scare him further at night - Lyle's girlfriend told him that she was pregnant but later told him that she lied and she had never been pregnant at all (they broke up afterwards) After a confrontation with his father, Lyle found out that his father paid off his girlfriend to get an abortion and lie to him about it. - Both boys (aged 4 and around 6 at the time) were often abandoned in malls and airports. -Jose's mother was a famous swimmer who was showcased in Cuba's sports hall of fame. In order to force his children to follow in those footsteps in terms of sports, he would force and hold Erik's head underwater to "expand his lungs". Essentially fucking drowning him. -Lyle once brought a bunny home as part of a school program in the second grade and named it "Flower". His mother told him to get rid of the bunny but he couldn't return it since summer break had just started. Later, Lyle found the bunny beaten to death, covered in flies in the trash can outside their house. (Jose had beaten the bunny with his bare hands and thrown it away) - Kitty once left an incredibly sick 9 year old Erik home alone while she went shopping for 5 hours. -During an argument 5 days before the murder, Kitty ripped off Lyle's hairpiece (He had started experiencing immense hair loss at age 14 and needed a toupee to cover it up). This was, as Lyle testifies, incredibly embarrassing (Erik was not aware his brother had this) and painful (the hair piece was only supposed to be removed using some sort of solvent). Lyle said his head immediately become extremely red and swollen and he felt completely humiliated, running off to reattach it after getting it back from his mother - A year before the murder, Kitty brought Erik along with her to buy a gun. Upon asking why she needed to buy that, Kitty told her son that she was "going to kill someone." Erik was incredibly unsettled put-off by the conversation and didn't ask any more questions. (Mind you, Kitty was heavily medicated at this time, taking around 13-15 pills a day) The new evidence : This is a recently discovered piece of evidence which may lead to the brothers' early release/ shorter sentence. Andy Cano (a cousin) had been brought in to give a testimony during the trial and he supported the claims that Erik and Lyle had been sexually abused, stating that Erik once told him about it, asking if it was normal for fathers to do that. Andy, who had no present father in his life, was unable to answer him (Mind you, both the boys were extremely young at the time so Andy wasn't aware that an adult should've been informed). His testimony was thought to be just a lie and was thrown aside - years later Andy died of overdose, his mother Marta said he never recovered from the guilt of not being able to help the brothers. This is part of the letter that was written by Erik to Andy that supports the claims that they were sexually abused :

[Erik is referring to his mother] "At times, I wish I could talk to her about things , you know? Some day... Especially dad and I but the way she worships him and tells him everything. I [am] so afraid she'll tell him whatever I say. I just can't risk it. Lyle got in a huge fight with her about why we couldn't spend Christmas with the rest of the family and mom freaked out and said if he wanted to go he could go alone. I just don't know why she wants to hurt him like that. Lyle wanted to stay but dad wouldn't let him. So now I'm stuck here alone. I've been trying to avoid dad. It's still happening Andy but it's worse for me now. I can't explain it. He [is] so overweight that I can't stand to see him. I never know when it's going to happen and it's driving me crazy. Every night, I stay up thinking he might come in. I need to put it out of my mind. I know what you said before but I'm afraid. You don't know dad like I do. He's crazy! He's warned me a hundred times about telling anyone. Especially Lyle. Am I serious whimpus? I don't know I'll make it through this. I can handle it, Andy. I need to stop thinking about it."

[fics-n-stuff]

In preparation for Heartbreak High season 2 TOMORROW, and following up on this post from a year and a half ago I made about why Spider should have a redemption arc, I have another lukewarm take to present: if Spider deserves redemption then so does Sasha.

I thought about making this post ages ago, not long after the original Spider post, but I never got around to writing it out... til now! Here we go!

After season 1, I was seeing A LOT of Sashsa hate, much of which I agreed with but some that definitely went too far. I saw a lot more people calling Sasha irredeemable than I saw of anyone speaking that way about Spider or Dusty. I hate Sasha as much as the next HBH fan, but it is undeniable that if we give Spider enough grace to encourage his redemption we should extend the same courtesy to Sasha; if we have enough faith in the show to handle the nuance of his redemption then we should have faith in it to be able to handle her redemption too.

Sasha is not trying to be a bad person, she genuinely believes (in my opinion) that she is trying her best to be a good person. The problem is she's confusing virtue signalling and "wokeness" with actually being a good person, and that makes her behave like a bitch. What it all boils down to, just like with Spider, is attitude. What they need to do is pretty similar as well; Spider needs to start paying attention and empathising with the experiences of people around him and Sasha needs to realise that what she thinks is genuine empathy and compassion is really just performative and does not make her a good person. They both need to stop viewing themselves as victims, they both need to be more willing to hear other people out, and I believe that they both have the capacity to change.

The two things I hated most about Sasha were:

Her relationship with Quinni and the way she treated Quinni during that time, as I'm sure most (if not all) of you will agree. That whole episode with the book signing (episode 6: "Angeline") makes me so mad, and it is a perfect example of how her empathy is not genuine. When Sasha is told that Quinni is autistic, her immediate response is "I need to do some more research" instead of "I need to ask Quinni what she needs and what she wants". Right there, she fails to empathise with Quinni as a person because she's too busy thinking about how she should be empathising with Autistic People as a whole and thereby completely misses the point. In the same vein, we the viewers all see Sasha's ableism when it comes to Quinni and how she fails to treat Quinni like an equal, but Sasha is so convinced that she is a good person because she supports all of the right ideas that she fails to see when she's falling short when it comes to the real people actually in her life. (Even at the end of this post when I have explained why Sasha deserves redemption, just know that I absolutely DO NOT think that Sasha and Quinni should EVER get back together.)

The way she just drops people when the social tides turn against them. We see her do this with both Amerie and Harper, completely dropping them as friends as soon as everybody is mad at them and not even speaking with them first or even allowing them a chance to just talk to her. This still makes me incredibly angry. Sasha had every right to not want to be friends with both Amerie and Harper after the things that happened, but the way she cut them out of her life so completely without a second thought makes me seethe. Now, there are layers to this. First we have the double-edged-sword of school social hierarchy and Sasha's "woke" attitudes. I personally believe that Sasha definitely dropped her friends because she didn't want them to tank her social status (like lots of teenagers would, horrible as it is), but she justified it to herself by rationalizing it like a political/social justice issue. Amerie did something bad = Amerie bad = I won't talk to Amerie anymore. She treats the ending of a friendship like a corporate boycott. What she says to Harper in episode 6 ("I'm not gonna let you suck me into your negativity black hole. You're an emotional vampire, Harper. I watched a whole YouTube video on it.") is a shining example of both how much of a bitch Sasha can be to the people around her and how she justifies that behaviour to herself. They are bad so I don't have to treat them well. And sometimes that line of thought is genuinely justified, but people are not that black and white and to cut ties with someone you considered a close friend without even talking to them or allowing them to even try and explain or apologise is peak bitch behaviour if you ask me. Especially when it's so clear that they are struggling and have nobody else to turn to.

You may have gathered that both of these points link back to the same thing: her hollow social activism. I am not saying here that she doesn't actually care about any of the causes she supports, nor am I saying that no good has been achieved through her various activist endeavors, but I really think that she approaches it all in the wrong way. Sasha tries so hard to say the correct thing, support the correct causes, and be on the correct side of things in a widespread social view that, not only does it create an element of performance and virtue-signalling, but she just doesn't take the time to actually learn and consider things without looking so far out. To reverse a common phrase, she can't see the trees for the forest, (i.e. she's so focused on the bigger picture she can't see the closer points). I'm sure she really does agree with all of the political and social justice causes that she supports, but because that's all she thinks about it creates the insufferable holier-than-thou attitude that makes her such a bitch while also leaving this vacuum where she fails to apply these ideals to her real life. Empathy is research, compassion is protesting, and when someone fucks up and people turn on them then it's fine to just turn on them too because they did a Bad Thing, no matter what else is happening.

But the door to redemption is open for Sasha and, just like with Spider, I want to see what the writers do with it. I think the big bus fight in episode 6 and Sasha finding out that Quinni has gone non-verbal in episode 7 could serve to open her eyes as to how uncompassionate she's been to the people around her. If she gets clued in to what happened with Harper she may reflect on how poorly she treated her while she was dealing with all of that trauma and realise that she isn't as much of "an empath" as she believes she is, and that just might be enough to open the door for some well needed introspection. Progress would probably be kinda slow, like I said in my post about Spider most people with any kind of strong belief tend to get defensive when challenged, but, also like I said about Spider, if people hold Sasha accountable then change can 100% happen. If the people around her continue to show her that she is not the good and just person she thinks she's being but rather that she's being a bitch and not offering any support or understanding to the people around her, if they can show her that her attitude is causing them harm, then I think that has the potential to open her mind and allow her to learn to fix those problems.

[martianbugsbunny]

He Waits By The Riverside (A Bad Batch Fic)

*approaches in a swan paddleboat* so I cried myself to sleep last night about the fact that Tech is actually dead, hence the need for a boat. I'm living in a lake of my own tears at this point. I didn't cry for him properly when he died because I had hope that he wasn't really dead after all and now it's hitting so hard, especially because he's the only one who didn't get to grow old. My chest gets tight when I think about how horribly unfair that seems. So I wrote a fic to put that sadness somewhere, inspired by He Waits, By The Riverside from Renegade Nell. I tried my hardest to make the fic feel the same way the song does (absolutely heartbreaking in a way that holds your hand) and honestly I think I did a pretty good job. So read on and enjoy (?)

Tech opened his eyes. His goggles were gone—his sight was acceptable without them, but he couldn’t see the more precise details of the landscape surrounding him. One was thing was certain, though: it wasn’t what he had been expecting when he plummeted, heart stopped, chest tight, through the clouds.

“Welcome, beloved,” a voice said. Not the gravelly voice of his sergeant, or Wrecker’s warm one, or Omega’s enthusiastic chirp, or Echo’s soft laugh—not even Crosshair’s pinched tone. It was the sort of voice that seemed like the wind, drifting out in one instant and fading away in the next, with no single pitch or volume but constantly shifting, shifting, shifting like the fog Tech had fallen through. Wind itself, however, was absent from the surroundings, not even a breath of it stirring.

Tech looked around, sitting up, searching for the voice’s owner. There was a pounding in his ears, either his heart or a far-off drum; he couldn’t decipher which, or even which made more sense in his current context.

The first thing he noticed properly was, at his feet, a mass of water that was not quite a river. It was long and gently curving into the distance like a river, and he estimated it was about five feet wide, but it didn’t flow. It was utterly still, just as the air was. It was unnatural, and yet somehow, it didn’t fill him with the creeping dread that perhaps it should have.

“You’ve come later than I expected,” the voice said. “Many of your kind joined me much sooner.”

Tears were blurring Tech's vision a little more, although he didn’t know why. A bird with a lilting song—one he could identify after a moment as a Yavin nightingale—was singing in the distance. Fish glittered vaguely in the river that didn’t flow past his feet, sunlight pouring down around them like rain.

That wasn’t right. The sunlight shouldn’t reach down here.

“Sooner than I hoped.”

The bird continued to sing, sweetly, brightly.

There were no bulrushes growing on the not-river banks, allowing Tech an unobstructed view of the creatures thrashing in the reflective water, scales aglow in the light that shouldn't have cut through the clouds. He couldn't bring himself to look up and see if there actually were any now.

“Ah, well.”

The sweet song was becoming a monotonous drone as it went endlessly, unhesitatingly, on. The fish in their sparkling glory were flames in Tech’s slightly unclear vision, kicking up sand from the bottom of the riverbed that drifted around them as the fog had about him. The reed grasses beneath him rustled as he got to his feet and turned his face to the cloudless grey sky.

He knew why he was crying.

A creature stood on the opposite bank, sheathed in a long white robe, bare-footed, with its face invisible except for a peculiarly unreadable grin made of white teeth and red lips. “Join me, love,” it said.

He knew why he was crying.

For a moment, there was a phantom pain across his body, the immense impact of sharp stones after a long fall. Another tear slipped down his bare face, and he knew he had succeeded. They were all safe: Hunter with his wide heart, Wrecker and his brilliant smile, Omega with her endless hope, Echo for his new purpose, maybe even Crosshair despite his mercurial loyalties.

He knew why he was crying.

“Do I have to?” he asked, despite already knowing the answer. This one time, he wished logic would fail to hold, and he could be released to rejoin the family he had made safe. To enjoy the fruits of his final and hardest labor.

“All that is loved becomes mine eventually,” it said. “You have been loved.”

Tech sobbed.

As the creature compelled him on, softly playing a military tune on an ebony fiddle and urging with its strange and sighing voice, Tech stepped into the river and crossed over to the other side.

….

In the still water—there were no fish to be seen from this angle—he could see them, by turns, running from the Empire, running towards the Empire, doing the best they could to keep their broken family from rifting any further, trying to mend it as best they could. It ached to watch, knowing they could never be truly whole again now that he was gone. Knowing that they were becoming more whole by the day, however, as Omega brought Crosshair back to them, and that he had sacrificed not only his life, but also his chance to be part of a reunited family.

Their lives continued to be dangerous, and every so often he would glance across the water, afraid he would see Hunter or Wrecker there and that the family on his side of the river would become more whole while that on the other side became more fractured and grief-stricken. He had a world without end. It hurt, but he would rather wait until the others were all old to hold them again. He didn’t want them to die young like he did, even if it meant sitting alone beside the water for another hundred years.

So Tech sat there, on the other side, and sang, slightly off-key, as though he could warn them, as though they could hear him, as though he could put off their final reunion for longer if only he was as determined as the nightingale that he could no longer hear.

“He waits by the riverside, and he waits by the road; he’ll play you his drum and the fiddle he’ll bow. So caution yourself—beware of his tongue.

“Cause all that is loved….”

Can crumble to none.

[bamnamuu]

HELLO AGAIN ˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗ CHOI SOOBIN

PAIRING ! non-idolchoi soobin x fem!reader

SUMMARY ! After starting her new job as a barista, Y/N begins to see someone more and more it just so happens to be Choi Soobin from grade school, never thinking she'd actually get to talk to him let alone get to know him, soobin has been dying to know her.

INCLUDES ! txt members, skz's Hyunjin, nwjns' Danielle, itzy members

A. NOTE ! this is based off of those Soobin pics from the seasons of txt youth box, also y/n and Danielle are both 03 babies in this, also i started this before lia went on hiatus and i love & miss her [if it’s bad don’t tell me i can’t take constructive criticism:) ]

W. COUNT ! 3k shes a long one

not very proofread beware

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

Walking onto the empty bus only made y/n overthink about her day more, after finding a seat at the back she put her headphones in. It's not like this is her first-ever job, it's just her first day as a barista. If she thought about it, the y/n of three months ago would be jumping for joy that she gets to work at the famous GuGUcafe, however, the y/n now was filled with dread.

GuGucafe is one of the busiest cafes downtown, y/n didn't even know why she was worried about her first shift. She had done her orientation and training days already so she knows its not the work that's worrying her, it could be the fact that her ex Hyunjin not only just works but also lives downtown, their relationship wasn't bad but it wasn't good either, just the basic things young love never works through, jealousy, miscommunication, insecurities, alert of y/n will always love him, he was her first love. they haven’t ran into each other since the breakup, she hoped that wouldn't change. Y/n snapping out of her reminiscing cloud, realized she was at her stop. Walking through the doors y/n was greeted by Lia her boss.

"I'm happy you showed up today! "The blonde girl said,

"Do you guys get a lot of no-shows ?" y/n was totally regretting showing up

"yeah... but let's not talk about that, go find your

apron!"

she did as the older girl said, finding her brown apron with a name tag, in her new uniform y/n started getting nervous again, but by pushing through she found herself at her break.

"I've been here for 4 hours ?!" y/n said shocked

"Unfortunately ’’ Yuna the another new hire said while rearranging the hot drink cups

"I'll see you in a bit, good luck!" y/n said to the girl who was now moving all the cold tea jugs around, yuna nodded as y/n went to the back to get her things.

At the beginning of the day y/n thought she would mess up horribly or bump into her ex in the mass-populated downtown, yet to her surprise the first half of her shift went well, so she just assumed that her anxious thoughts were just getting the best of her...until she bumped into a tall man entering the cafe, not even having to look up she knew it was him, she still knew his perfume. Y/n thought maybe he had forgotten who she was, it had been a entire year, maybe if she just apologized, walks out the door he won’t even see that it’s her, before she could move he spoke up

"y/n?" the boy spoke in a questioning tone

"Who?" y/n said, She was a fool, an absolute fool, and both of them knew it.

" God, you haven't changed one bit!" Hyunjin said smiling causing y/n to meet his eyes finally, they still hadn't changed from that night, but she felt different when looking into them than she did

" it's nice to see you again, but I have to get going" she finally spoke up, giving him a final smile and pushing past him, before turning around and saying

" oh and sorry for bumping into you"

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

Frantically reaching for her phone she texted Danielle, who's been her other half since elementary school, they've been there for each other through, first loves, birthdays, heartbreak, even emo phases ( that one was mostly y/n, but they promised to never bring it up)

"Gonna come see you" y/n typed

"YAY! I kind of figured you would, got you lunch" Dani responded

"I'm gonna marry you"

She finished typing as she made her way to the park near Dani's place of work, she truly wouldn't know what to do without her sunshine. looking up after texting her mom that she was okay and doing alright y/n saw Danielle waving to come to sit down with her,

"Okay what happened, did you spill coffee on someone, did you spill coffee on yourself, did you mi-" Danielle practically interrogating y/n before she could say hello, was cut off by the coffee girl.

"OMG! You really have no faith in me, but no it went really well..till” y/n said shaking her head during the first part, then quickly falling silent thinking about the incident.

"till???" the inpatient girl started shaking y/n, causing both of them to giggle.

"Well I was leaving and then I bumped into someone." y/n didn't want to say it because if she said it then that meant it happened, Danielle, on the other hand, brought hers up to try and help speed her friend's confession out

“Walked into Hyunjin and I kept staring at his boobs.. god... I don't think I've ever stared at someone's boobs for that long ever, but I did. I did! '' y/n said frantically

"So you're telling me you saw the "love of your only life" after almost a year, and you couldn't even look at him in his eyes!?" Dani brought her hands up to make air quotes, then shook her head not believing that her friend could be so silly and dumb at the same time. Y/n didn't speak she simply nodded. She didn't feel like getting into the nitty gritty part that were her feelings and if she still had them for Hyunjin, because even she didn't know, not after that interaction but for now she'll just let her friend believe she is.

"Also men don't have boobs y/n" she added remembering what her friend said.

much to both of the girl's dismay y/n had to get back to work, crossing her fingers and praying that Hyunjin wasn’t staying for long , maybe y/n was going through a lucky strike cause the boy was nowhere to be seen, letting out a happy sigh y/n got her apron back on and got back to work. 4 more hours was all she had to get through, and she would as long as Lia was there with her, she needed her for reassurance.

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

With the sun going down y/n had only two hours left in her shift. She didn’t have much to do Yuna was on her break, so she looked around the floor of the now desolate cafe and decided she would sweep, walking around the counter that was brushed by a rushing, heaving stressed lia,

“woah are you breathing properly?” y/n said to the blonde girl

“No... I think someone broke into my apartment!” 

“Jesus, did you call the police?” y/n said now also stressed 

“No, I'm gonna go over there just to make sure, and call on the way,” Lia said, walking around the empty store collecting her things and the scissors by the cash register.

“Do you think you can handle being alone here? Yuna should be back in a little bit” Lia said now looking serious

“ I think all will be fine Lia, rush hour is over and no one’s in here, I’ll be fine till Yuna gets back you should go!” with y/n saying that Lia gave her the keys to the shop in case she wanted to close early, and left 

Y/n now getting free range to use the speakers, puts her music on shuffle, and continues cleaning. ‘Paris by Taylor Swift’ starts playing as the door chimes, y/n is now in the stock room, she figures it’s just Yuna. Until she hears a voice coming from the cashier's desk that’s clearly not Yuna’s

“Hello, is anyone here?” a boy said 

Y/n who now sets the milk back in the fridge and walks to the front, can’t help but feel some sort of familiarity in the boy's voice, until she sees who it is, Choi soobin, they went to the same school since they were kids, he was two grades older than her but she knew of him.

“hi…sorry i’m the only one here,” y/n says waving her hands around to show the empty space around them

“s’ok you’re here now,” Soobin said with a little smile 

“so what can I get for you” y/n smiled at his last comment

“I’ll have an iced Americano please” 

“Just that ?” y/n looked up after putting his order in the machine, soobin nodded, then paid, as y/n was making his drink, she asked 

“We went to the same school, right?” 

“yeah I’m pretty sure we did” soobin replied,while looking at her with a soft smile

“here you go” She held out soobins drink for him to take

“have a good night y/n!” he said walking to the door 

“you too” 

It wasn’t until he finished his drink that Soobin realized that Y/n drew a small smiley face on his cup. 

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

It's not that Soobin knew y/n worked there, he didn't, he doesn't even like coffee that much,but now he knows he has a shot to talk to her he's gonna do it. unlocking his apartment door he heard his friend say

''If anyone has a tiny smooth brain it would be you Beomgyu!'' Yeonjun said to his phone, making Soobin let out a little laugh.

''Ayo, you went to get coffee and didn't bring back anything for me? that's so cold man'' his roommate said looking at him with sad fox eyes

''Oh shut it, you never get me anything when you go out, and I didn't even plan on getting coffee it was just a spur-of-the-moment decision'' Soobin said rolling his eyes at the older boy

''Whatever dude! I will remember this next time'' Yeonjun rolling his eyes at soobin when he spoke

''Hey I have a question for you, do you remember Y/N from when we were little?''

''I think so? isn’t she dating Hyunjin?''

''No, they broke up'' the man on Yeonjuns phone said

''Shit I forgot to hang up''

''Hey Soobin didn't you have a crush on y/-''

Before Beomgyu could finish his sentence Soobin jumped from the kitchen onto the couch finally hanging up the phone. it's not that soobin was embarrassed to like y/n its just he was embarrassed that he hadn't stopped liking her even after he found out one of Beomgyu’s friends was dating her. There was just something he loved liked about her maybe it was the way she always smiled at him when they passed in the hallway or the one time when he had to walk home but it started pouring, and he forgot his umbrella until a cute girl a couple years younger him tapped his shoulder and handed him her umbrella, and carried on her way, not caring that she would be drenched. Ok so maybe he did know why he liked her, but it's entirely his fault that they've never had an entire conversation he was just too scared he would say something stupid that would scare her away, as well as haunting him for the rest of his life or be it Beomgyu would tease him, seeing the fact that he was the only one who knew.

''Dude what the hell is wrong with you'' yeonjun said, confused and scared

''What do you mean?'' soobin said looking up knowing full well he was laying in Yeonjun’s lap, with his phone in his hands

''Get off of me, you probably bruised my stomach'' Yeonjun chuckled whilst pushing the taller boy on the floor.

''It's not like I didn't know you liked her, Beomgyu is horrible at keeping your secrets and that's entirely your fault!'' Yeonjun said, pointing his finger at Soobin and moving to his room.

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

Y/n was getting ready for the day when she heard Lia walk into the break room frustrated, with a follower right behind. 

“I want my key back!” Lia said turning around to the girl 

“I lost it! Why do you think I broke into the apartment?” the other girl said, y/n realized it was chaeryeong, one of Lia's friends.

‘’G'morning to you two!’’ y/n said passing the bickering girls, starting her second day off better than the first, she was still running off four hours of sleep, it's not like she got off at a ridiculous time, no, she just kept thinking about the tall boy with the dimples. She didn't know why she drew a smiley face on the soobins cup, god he probably thought she was weird. y/n didn't know why the cup drawing took over her mind, but she should be happy because she'd been so focused on Soobin that she completely forgot about bumping into her ex, well until her sunshine friend's face jumped at her, knocking her out of the thought of last night.

‘’So have you face-butted anyone's boobs today?’’ Danielle smiles

‘’Sorry you have to leave the shop we don't want you here!’’ Y/n said teasing Dani 

‘’ whatever… I’ll have that’’ Danielle said pointing at one of the posters with the seasonal drinks

After finishing Danielle’s order, y/n watched as her friend took her drink with a smile and waved goodbye. Y/n likes her job it's fun to people-watch without looking creepy, as well as her shifts go by super fast which she's grateful for. Until y/n found herself alone in the cafe just like the night before. 

‘’Hello again!’’ 

‘’Oh, Soobin.. Hi’’ y/n said getting scared at the sudden volume change 

‘’I'm sorry for scaring you, I didn't mean to’’ Soobin started apologizing, only to be opposed by y/n telling him he's fine and to not worry about it, or that it happens all the time 

Soobin ordered his drink and watched y/n make it with such intent so he didn’t miss a single thing, he watched as she finished up and walked over to him drink in hand, nervously he took it replacing the drink in her hand with a small note meant for her.

confused y/n watched as the boy smiled wishing her a good night and went on his way. looking down at the small piece of crumbled paper in her hand she unraveled it to find the cutest little note.

you look really pretty today! <3 

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

The causal flirting between the two started after soobins note, every single day, at the exact same time soobin would walk in the door to the usually quiet coffee shop and beam down at y/n causing the girl to form a reddish pink hue to her cheeks. Leaving Lia to be the third wheel, as she watched Soobin and y/n blush and giggle at each other, she got sick of it. she knew she had to do something for her best employee.

“Soobin wait!” Lia yelled sprinting out of the shop 

“What? oh Lia?” Soobin replied confused

“You should just ask y/n out already, she’s been waiting and we both know she won’t ask!” Lia said dryly 

“WHAT!” soobin yelled causing the passing strangers to stop at look at him 

“You actually think y/n wants to go out with me?” 

“You’re hopeless,” Lia said walking back into the store.

⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣪ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ๋࣭ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⊹ ࣪

‘’ AM I hopeless?’’ Soobin spoke well opening the door to his apartment 

‘’You want me to answer that? I won't be nice’’ Beomgyu said following behind, without even a second thought Soobin spun around to glare at the boy he calls a friend.

‘Yes?’ 

‘’You are hopeless, You liked this girl for how long now? Like a bajillion years! Just ask her out, the worst thing that could happen is her throwing a drink at you.’’ Beomgyu told Soobin, who wasn’t paying any attention to him. Calling it a night soobin went to his room to think over both Lia’s and Beomgyu's words.

Soobin hadn’t slept much that night too busy making up sentences and planning out how he's gonna ask y/n out. It's not the first time he's tried the first time he was going to ask y/n to go to the school dance with him, the news of her and Hyunjin broke out, god it hurt him. Who was he to think he could compete with Hwang Hyunjin, all of Soobin's negative voices came out to attack him, and he resented Hyunjin for years, he knows now it's not Hyunjin's fault he got insecure. He was just young and unconfident and it's easier to blame someone else when time doesn't work in your favor. That was then but now he wasnt going to let anything stop him, he even bought her favorite flowers which are dahlia’s Soobin was in in for real. soobin grabbed a scrape of paper to write out his plan,

 1) wait till y/n is off her shift 

2) pull her aside and give flowers.

 3) ask her on a date via an note on the flowers  

Simple plan, nothing could go wrong Soobin kept repeating in his head. Walking into Gugucafe Soobin looked around for his girl, only to be face to face with Yuna.

‘’Is y/n here ?’’ Soobin asked wrly

‘’No sorry she called in sick today’’ Yuna replied 

‘’Oh okay, ah have a good day’’ Soobin tried to hide the disappointment in his voice but failing. Would it be weird for him to go to y/n apartment? His plan of asking her out has been put aside for now, and it’s not unusual to give your friend soup when they’re sick, and that’s what he and y/n are friends first, Soobin went on his was with a new that consists of restaurant soup and finding y/n address, and the last part he would need hope that Lia would give out her address, and to Soobins luck she told him 

‘’Sure it may be wrong that I'm giving out my employee's addresses but it's for a good cause so I need to!’’ 

He didn't ask many questions about Lias statement, he seemed to be out the door as soon as she gave him the last letter of y/n’s street, with the bouquet of dahlias and a steaming container of soup he knocked on y/n’s door expecting to be faced with red-nosed coughing y/n, only to be faced with the opposite

‘’Soobin what are you doing here, not that I’m not happy to see you I just.. How’d you get my address?’’ 

‘’I went to see you and Yuna told me you were sick so I thought I would bring you soup, oh and Lia told me where you live’’ y/n just stared at him

‘’Oh these are for you!’’ Soobin said handing y/n the soup and flowers with his note still wedged between the stems

‘’Oh thanks, I’m feeling ok I just lied to Lia for fun, you can come in’’

‘’For fun you and me and different versions of fun’’ 

‘’No seriously you should try it sometime. these are absolutely beautiful Soobin what's that?’’ y/n said looking at the flowers,in that moment he remembered the forgotten note that was still attached to the bundle of dahlias in y/n’s hands, there was nothing he could do, he accepted his fate. He watched as y/n placed his gifts on the counter and took out the note, he didn't want to see her face, he now realized how awkward this was, 

‘’You don't have to read it, s’stupid’’ Soobin pleaded 

‘’It's not stupid if it’s from you ’’ y/n said still not looking up at him after a few long seconds y/n looked up at Soobin and said

‘’I would love to go out with you !’’ 

“Oh thank god!” Soobin said inhaling like he just learned how to breathe.

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Okay, I just finished watching Sex Education, and I will be honest, I was very… underwhelmed.

I know this show means a lot to a lot of people, and I can see why, and I liked parts of it, but to me it started out very strong and ended so disappointingly.

I was captivated by the struggles of some of the characters, by how their stories were weaved into one another, but that’s easier to do when you have a handful of characters. By season 3, there were so many characters, and the creators seemingly insisted on developing each individual storyline as profoundly as possible, but that just resulted in stories being presented and resolved in a rush, sometimes inexplicably, and it all felt just very clunky. I tried to suspend my disbelief of how time passed in this universe, how one storyline seems to be moving slower than another in the span of the same day, but it became so glaringly obvious that it came down to shoddy editing, and too many loose ends to trie to tie up.

By season 4, I didn’t have enough time to connect with anyone new, didn’t feel like any of the new characters was actually given enough time and space to unfold properly. It was just jam-packed with tropes and themes and difficult topics that deserved much better development. Like Cal’s dysphoria, or Viv’s abusive relationship, or Isaac’s and Aisha’s disabilities, or O’s asexuality, or even Jean and Joanna’s difficult relationship and Jean’s postpartum depression (in fact, I feel like Jean really got done dirty this season, because she was an interesting character the whole way, and she went through a lot, she almost died, she’s going through massive heartbreak, and those things are never addressed again except that one little moment, and Otis is THE ABSOLUTE WORST to her in this season…)

And that did not happen, of course, to the characters from the first two seasons, they got to be fully developed and nuanced and you get to examine their whole stories and they make sense. You get to see Aimee deal and come to terms and put behind her the sexual assault, you get to see Maeve get out and then have massive doubts about her talent and see her dreams interrupted once more by her mother’s overdose and her brother going down the same path; you get to see Eric come fully into his own skin with his sexuality and struggle with the fact that he might have to choose between that and his community; you get to see Adam go from bully to realizing his sexuality to realizing what has made him into a bully to trying to change and be honest to himself and others; you get to see why Ruby is the way she is but also that it’s all just a front and why it’s hard for her to not put up walls.

It felt like, by season 3, the creators were just ticking boxes: non-binary character, check; trans characters, check; characters with disabilities, check; boy with two mums inexplicably wanting to find their biological father, check… It felt a little like (and I swear this comparison hurts me the most) watching Glee.

(Remember Glee? Most people would say ‘well Glee walked so that Sex Education and Heartstopper and Young Royals, etc could run’… No, unfortunately it feels more like Glee took two steps and then stumbled horrible so that these other shows could run. And sadly, in my opinion, Sex Education didn’t fair much better…).

It made me sad to learn about how LGBTQIA+ activist and ace representative Yasmin Benoit collaborated with the Sex Education creators to create a character that was a well-rounded representation of the asexual community, but in the end they turned her into the season’s villain and for no good reason. I understand people’s frustration with that, especially Yasmin’s, because it felt like it could have been handled much better. And as an acespec person myself I would have been more upset about this too, were it not for the fact that everything else was so bad in comparison that O being turned into a villain felt like the least of this season’s problems.

Something else that bothered me was that, whilst Sex Education is a satire and a lot of the characters are caricatures (like Ruby being the popular glamorous bitch with her two cronies who do everything she says, and Aimee is the bimbo with the heart of gold, and Mr Groff is the stuffy narrow-minded professor, and Lily is the unashamed weird girl, etc), there is a fine line between caricature and cartoon, and some of the characters went too far. Like Hope in season 3 was too much of a cartoon villain, and Molloy being the admirable but former literature sensation who is brutally harsh with his students; and Beau going from flirty to abusive in .5 seconds; and Joanna being the over-the-top disaster person. There is no further substance to these people, they are just there to fulfill a role as a foe to one of the main characters, but the lack of realism makes them very underwhelming, and all the plots associated with them become predictable and boring…

And this might be a very unpopular opinion but… at first the whole Otis and Maeve thing, although clichéd, seemed like a nice idea, but the more time passed, and especially with the way that Otis became in the last season, by the end of it I really didn’t like it at all. It felt like Maeve deserved a lot better.

Otis was a somewhat interesting character in the beginning, and I could sympathize with him for all his flaws and the way that he tried to help people but ultimately couldn’t deal with his own shit. But it was so frustrating to see him making the same mistakes over and over, to the point where it affected his relationship with everyone important, from his mum to his best friend to his girlfriend.

Not that the show had to be perfect. No show is perfect, but it truly felt like the creators had a really good idea but didn’t figure out how to wrap it up, and promptly cornered themselves and then were fighting their way out of that corner…

My favorite things about the show, though, were:

-Anything with Eric (except maybe that whole thing about him and his bully becoming a thing, because that was disturbing, but I really really liked when Otis brought this up, and I really really hated when Eric got defensive about it, and I also reaaaaally hated when Eric got mad at Adam for not wanting to have anal sex, like he didn’t even want to talk about it, you’re better than that, Eric Effiong).

-Despite this, Adam and Eric not having a happy ending together was a breath of fresh air, because as much as they were cute together (I just reaaaaally wish Adam hadn’t been the former bully) they weren’t right for each other.

-Aimee’s whole journey from being with Adam to being with Steve, to ditching the Untouchables for a meaningful friendship with Maeve, to exploring what she wanted to do, to coming to terms with her assault, to discovering art as a way to express herself. She really is one of my favorite characters.

-Colin and Ms Sands were my absolute favorites too, and them coming back for one episode, and Colin playing With Or Without You at the funeral. And Ms Sands always wanting Maeve to fulfill her potential, and trying to help Adam and even coming to see him in the dog show.

-Any moment when Eric is just fabulous, especially wearing that kilt at the queer night club. Ncuti Gatwa is truly one of the most beautiful men in this world, and he just can’t help but sparkle. He is the sparkly one.

-And as I said before, Adam’s poem to Eric, absolutely broke my heart.

-I loved the set design and costume design on the show, it was so unexpected for everything to feel so old-fashioned, and I wonder if there’s a meaning to that. Also, Jean and Otis’s house is my absolute dream house. I do wonder however what happened to all the penis and vagina decoration.

-I really liked the variety of characters and how we got a diversity of storylines and tackled a lot of important topics, but I just wished they had done a better job at it.

That’s about it. This turned out way longer than I expected. But I’d been putting off watching this show for so long, despite how relevant it became, and was really disappointed that I didn’t like it as much, so I had to vent.

[ohlookitsthearkhamknight]

In honor of Pride Month I think its fair to absolutely lose it over these panels again

Everytime I get back to these panels its just so overwheming.

Over the entire series we see Slade love and be loved but it doesnt really last does it? All these women even addi but it never lasts it always dies out. They or Slade always leaves. Someone always leaves be it on purpose or not.

Except Wintergreen.

Out of all of them hell even Addi herself sometimes, Wintergreen has dealt with SO much shit from slade directly and or indirectly.

He of all people has more than enough reason to leave, turn around and never come back. He could leave him, rat him out, hell even kill him but he doesnt. Through everything he stays. Even when he has every reason even when it kills him. And thats just not something you see. I mean srsly. Show me another comic from that time period that had a man who at times could be horrible that had a bestfriend someone who stuck through everything for them. Someone who even without labeling it LOVED them. Because be honest with yourself. You dont stick with someone forever, be there for them for everything if you dont care, if you don't love them. And it could be platonic it could be more who cares. Its still insanely obvicous that Slade snd Billy cared so much about each other that even people around them, EVEN PAT WHO WAS ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH SLADE AT THE TIME SAW IT.

Another thing about these 2 pages that will ALWAYS have me losing it is the conversation between pat and slade and the last 3 panels afterwards.

The conversation: Slade asks Pat to tell him about billy. Not only does he ask what kind of man he is the one question that stands out to me is "were we really that close". Then Pat answers that they were so close that it didnt even seem like just friends anymore because of how much they cared for each other. because be honest. It would have to take a lot of love to deal with what they deal with. She even adds that billy cares for him more than a friend and also says not in a fatherly way either. Even mentions if she didn't know any better she would think they were gay.

Panel 1: Slade and Pat sleep together after the entire conversation. The thing is the entire conversation leading up to them sleeping together was not about pat, its not about her and Slade, no its about Slade and WINTERGREEN. Even after everything said and done Slade doesnt talk. Pat just falls alseep after.

Panel 2: still no words are said but with a sleeping pat we see a wide awake slade. Hes obviously thinking but about what. Hes turned toward the right looking ahead deep in thought and this is where the 3rd panel rips my heart into pieces

Panel 3: Wintergreen is also wide awake in bed. Unlike slade though he isnt turned toward the right no he is turned toward the left. Almost as if he and slade are staring at each other. Still while no words are said nothing is written its very obvious this means something. It means alot. An entire conversation. Thinking about their closness. Their relationship. What they mean to each other.

And the most heartbreaking thing here. Is that Slade doesnt remember Wintergreen in this moment. When asked pat could have said something like. Oh. Bestfriend. Father figure. But no. She told the truth. She told as how everyone saw it. Wintergreen was more than just s friend. He loved slade. And however that may be taken HE LOVED SLADE. And Slade loved him.

There are so many more examples i could bring up. So many more times that showed how much there was between these 2. I wish this was something comic writers understood today. To make 2 characters and their relationship so interesting you have to show its good and bad sides. You need to show how they complete each other. How they help and mold each other. Even right here with unwritten words we see so much emotion. We see all the unwritten words. We see such a strong bond that you dont have to guess about anything. Another thing today is that this is before times were more accepting and i do truely wonder if this were to be written today what they could do with it. What would become of them. Because i think we can all agree slade is at his very best when with wintergreen. A common theme. Without wintergreen Slade just cant exist. Deathstroke can but slade needs his friend thats more than just a friend. He needs someone he loves. He needs his compass. And at this point billy doesnt just represent morals. He represents the very thing about slade. Love. Whether that be family friend whatever. How ever you look at it. Slades very thing is his love. For everyone around him. Its what makes him, him. Its what makes and breaks Slade and Deathstroke.

Anyways 3am rant over. Dont like it move on.

[iibonniee]

Baby It’s Cold (Lee Jooheon x Fem!Reader) [Requested]

I feel like this is one of the first times I've ever actually requested from you and that feels like a horrible sin considering I devour and enjoy absolutely everything you write before anyone even sees it, lmfao. I'm gonna be so unhelpful with this 1K (!!!!) celebration request but Jooheon and cuddles, legitimately that's all I can figure out that I want lmfao. Can be smutty, fluffy, both, idc. I need some Joo cuddles IRL too, if ya wanna somehow magic that as well. 🤭🫣

(I can absolutely find a prompt, btw, if you want something more.... More. 😂😂😂 Just lemme know here or text me or whatever. 🥰)

Also, again, I am so PROUD and excited for 1K! You deserve this and so so so much more and this is the year you get all the wonderful things you've been working so hard for! I love you so much! 🫂🥰🤍

Pairing: Jooheon x Reader

Genre: New Relationship AU, Non-Idol AU

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 998

Tags: fluff, slightly angsty, suggestive, slight somnophilia

Masterlist

Jooheon loved cold, snowy weather. Seeing the world blanketed in white fluff as more of it sprinkled from the sky always filled him with nostalgia. He’d remember days as a kid, playing in the snow with his friends - particularly the girl next door.

“Joo?” As if she could hear his thoughts, she stirred in her sleep, brushing her hip against his as she rolled over. He lifted his arm and she curled up against him like a puzzle piece, humming contentedly when he pressed a kiss to the top of her mussed hair. To be honest, Jooheon never thought things would turn out this way.

Kihyun had warned that he’d be doomed to a life of second-best if he never faced his fear of rejection. After suffering through college life - where he watched her date and suffer heartbreak over and over - Jooheon realized Kihyun was right. It’d taken a few shots of whiskey for courage, but he went for it. She’d been standing out on the balcony of Kihyun’s apartment, taking a break from the chaos of Changkyun’s private birthday party.

“Hey there,” he murmured when he slid the door open. “You’re not out here freezing are you?”

She turned to him, pretty face lighting up when she saw who was speaking. “It’s not too bad.” She held up her red cup. “You know alcohol makes me hot.”

He nodded as he closed the door behind him. “Some things never change, do they?” Once he was shoulder to shoulder with her, he took a sip from his own cup. “So where’s what’s-his-face? The pretty model guy.”

She made a derisive noise and rolled her eyes before gulping down the rest of her drink. “Last I heard, he was balls deep in someone’s wife. Might be dead by now.”

Jooheon couldn’t keep the surprise off his face. “Another cheater? What the hell, do you have a cheater magnet strapped on your back or something?” He immediately regretted his words upon seeing the way she flinched. Switching his cup to his other hand, he put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Jeez, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I'm just,” he exhaled as he pulled back, “surprised, yet, not?”

She grimaced. “You can just say I have shit taste in people. I mean, the signs were there. They always are.”

For the life of him, he didn’t see how he could turn the conversation in his favor. Instead, he followed her example and observed the busy city below them. The lights glittered like stars, reflecting in her sad eyes. He wished he could protect her from the pain of failed romances. However, he wasn’t sure she was even interested in him. They’d spent plenty of time together over the years - with others or just alone. There was something there, but was it enough to justify putting their friendship in jeopardy?

It was then that the first snowflake caught his eye. A speck of white fluff fell from the sky and landed on her hair, melting upon contact. He was running out of time. “Oh, look, Joo. It’s snowing,” she murmured holding out her hand. It reminded him of making snowmen with her as a kid. Of trying to sled down a hill only to fall off it, laughing so hard he went light-headed and nearly passed out.

No one ever made him laugh as hard as she did.

Her shoulders drooped. “I guess we should head back in?” She started to drop her hand only for him to place his on top. She looked at him, brow furrowed. “Joo–?”

“Not yet.” He cleared his throat and looked up at the night sky. He was aware of the chill in her fingertips and the way they absorbed his warmth. “Not until I figure out how to tell you how I feel.”

Somehow, he didn’t need to say more. She just knew. Her fingers slipped between his and held on tight. She never let go, not when they went back inside, not even when Minhyuk made a scene about it. It filled him with sour patch kids and pop rocks. When the party started to die down, he offered to take her home but she insisted on staying with him.

She muttered something in his ear as she tossed a leg over his.

“Say that again?” He came back to the present.

“I’m cold. Hold me.” She repeated as she nuzzled her cheek against his chest.

“Oh! Say no more, sweetheart.” He turned over onto his side to face her. She kept her leg over him, hiking it up to his hip as she pulled him flush against her body. Within seconds she was settled and content, falling asleep. He smiled to himself as he pressed down her hair and kissed her forehead again before resting his hand on her hip. Feeling her soft skin under his fingertips reminded him that she’d taken up his offer to wear one of his shirts to bed. With that visual replaying, he became acutely aware of the way her breasts pressed against his body. How her lips grazed the column of his neck.

He cursed under his breath when he felt the first stirrings in his pajama pants. The hand on her hip flexed with a squeeze of her flesh and she made this little sound somewhere between a hum and a moan. Gas on the slow fire, fully consuming him. He tried to avert his thoughts, wanting to fully appreciate this soft, sweet moment, but then her hips were moving against his. A slow grind against his growing erection as her hand pawed at his back.

“Shit.”

Her head tilted back, sleepy eyes unfocused as her lips caressed his jaw. “Joo? Are you awake?”

“Y-yeah.”

She made another sign - this time a full-throated moan that made him shiver as her nails pressed into his back.

“Mmm. They say skin-to-skin contact is the best way to stay warm. Let’s get naked.”

[denimbex1986]

'“What? …What?” were David Tennant’s first words when, to everyone’s surprise, including his, he regenerated out of Jodie Whittaker as the Doctor, and not Ncuti Gatwa, as we all expected. For three episodes the 10th Doctor is back as the 14th, before Gatwa takes over at Christmas, and in his first proper episode – after a neat appearance in a Comic Relief sketch – he has moved onto “Why?”

Allow me to help you there, David: falling ratings.

Oh, you feel bad for Jodie Whittaker, a great Doctor unfortunate to be trapped in a wormhole of so-so episodes and constantly under attack from galactic sized fury-bots, slamming down their GB News mugs (filled with good, white tea, love) and taking to the social medias to cry about the bloody woke mob at the BBC filling our children’s heads with stupid ideas about tolerance and being nice.

But really, the problem, to my mind, was that while showrunner Chris Chibnall threw everything at Whittaker’s Doctor, he didn’t truly hit upon a transcendent stone-cold classic episode, and the whole thing felt like it was trying too hard; it lacked a bit of easy-to-watch magic. Something which is immediately back with “the one in the skinny suit”, under returning showrunner Russell T Davies.

As Dr Who’s 60th anniversary approaches, this should turn into something of a celebration of Davies, the man who kickstarted the new Who back in 2005 with Christopher Ecclestone as the Doctor, before hitting absolute gold with Tennant. While Chibnall was working on multiple meta-levels leaving us all trying to keep up, Davies pitches this first episode as more like E.T. in Eastenders. This sense of bringing things down-to-earth is helped further by the return of Catherine Tate as Donna, easily the funniest of his companions.

Taking place in London – and I do love Davies’ London, he was a pioneer in showing positively, and accurately, a city remarkable for its peaceful diversity (don’t believe the hype) – The Star Beast sees a cute little Furby-like alien called The Meep ‘crash’ into the city, which falls under the protection of Donna’s daughter, Rose, as some other ant-like aliens hunt it down.

The Doctor is back to help, with the catch being that he has to prevent Donna from remembering who he is, otherwise She Will Definitely Die. Without getting too bogged down, the last time we saw Donna, she basically had to have her mind wiped for her own protection, after she took on Time Lord powers that were too strong for her human body – her tragedy, heartbreaking at the time, was that she’d have to live her life without remembering her time with the Doctor.

However, as we all know in post-Marvel entertainment, there’s always a way around She Will Definitely Die – but the particular way this episode plays out is really going to upset the Woke Police. For Donna’s daughter Rose is trans, people – cue GB News mugs smashing against flat screens – and her trans-ness is very much central to the plot as well as the thematic ideas of identity crises and Otherness (not least with regards to the Doctor) and what do we do, attack these people or rally around them. Oh boy, is it going to drive people mad.

It's actually an almost touching move by Davies in the way it backs up the seriously upfront progressive humanism of Chibnall’s tenure, and comes in defiance of those who thought featuring Rosa Parks in an episode was the end of the world. What people seem to forget about Doctor Who, both the Woke Police and those other furrow-browed joy deniers, the Fanboy Police, is that it is a family show, designed to be watched with kids.

Yes it should be clever and mind-bending but it’s not supposed to be careless or cool. You need a bit of Horrible Histories, you need a bit of future thinking around humanity, because, well, this is science fiction – it’s the nature of this game even more than dressing up as Klaatu.

Anyway, the truth is this episode is a little bit thin, the big twist around The Meep pretty obvious (though not to my shocked 8 year old), and the saving of Donna does end up being really quite clunky. But it doesn’t really matter.

It’s about the magic: the chemistry between Tennant and Tate is winning, the laugh out loud moments hit double figures (I particularly like Donna’s repeated disses to the cutesy Meep – “space rat”, “ferret from Mars”), the Tardis has had a rather natty Modern House renovation, and the Disney money now coming into the show is well spent on set-pieces that manage to be Spielberg-ian in uniting the spectacular with the suburban.

It’s a hoot, and as a way to drum up attention and goodwill towards the series in the run-up towards Gatwa taking over, it’s quite irresistible.

Gatwa will certainly have a lot to live up to, mind. For Tennant truly is the best Doctor ever. Yes, yes, I know you liked Tom Baker when you were a kid, but really, you're wrong: Tennant is the best. Like a Tex Avery cartoon trapped inside Camus’ Meursault, he’s an existentialist hero for all the family. Saturday night must-watch TV is back, and it’s Woker than ever, folks...'

[rollingredneck]

So about this bullshit

Yeah this election sucked. Sucked hard. Heartbreaking.

But where can we go?

The autopsy table.

Looking at the stats, the big story is that minorities shifted rightward. But why?

I trace it back 10 years.

After a string of controversial police/vigilante killings of Tamir Rice, Micheal Brown, and Travon Martin, activists started broadening their demands from fighting police brutality to reducing policing itself. Coupled alongside this were demands for drug decriminalization. What followed in many cases was a decrease in the enforcement of "the small laws" or at least public demands to reduce their enforcement.

I've even gotten into an argument with a white leftist who thought police using bait cars to catch car thieves was racist. 

By "small laws" I mean things like traffic enforcement, shoplifting law enforcement, bans on turnstile jumping, bans on hard drugs, bans on public urination, and homeless camps.

Though it wasn't nearly as catastrophic as Trump claimed, this did result in a quality of life reduction in cities.

Cities, where many minorities live only function because of the "small laws." The latte leftists abandoned the "small laws" calling it "anti-racism" and shit got worse.

Trump made inroads with minorities not just because of grocery prices, which were largely out of the left's control. But also because of the consequences of latte leftism which we could control but chose not to.

Minorities are not fans of police brutality, nobody really is.

But normies of all colors don't like chronic speeders running down kids. They don't like turnstile jumpers and fare dodgers who act like uncivilized assholes on public transit. They don't like that their city council deemed shoplifting to not be a real problem so now they have to chase employees around stores to unlock shelves. They don't like homeless people turning downtown into a public toilet. And they damn sure don't like their kid finding dirty needles on playgrounds.

Are the solutions Trump and co. propose horrible? Yes. But the suburban latte leftist solution for the last decade is to tell everyone to grin and bear it and pretend their quality of life did not get worse.

Then there's men. Many minority men jumped ship and embraced the far right? And it's not just because of Andrew Tate. The discourse around men is awful.

Ever since Me Too, we changed our approach to sexual harassment/assault. We went from "Sexual assault is bad" to "Treat all men as potential predators"

There's a saying in the disability community that goes something like "Politicians won't hear you make ableist posts about them. But your disabled friends will."

This saying applies to men too.

Ever since Me Too, a lot of men have seen their female friends and family post shit like "Men are trash" "Yes all men are potential rapists" etc. for a decade.

We barely acknowledge considerations about false rape/sexual assault allegations as legitimate. In some circles, even raising these concerns is considered sexist. We forget that many lynchings of black people started with false sexual harassment/rape accusations

We forget that our whole thing is that people shouldn't be judged based on the absolute worst of their number.

And the men see this. Imagine if you saw all the people in your social circle constantly say that people with your immutable characteristics (gender, race, whatever). are trash on those grounds.

It gets grating. It beats you down. You'll reach out to ANYONE who says that you aren't trash. Anyone.

Even *him*.

Meet the normies where they are. And they are not��at the intersectionality seminar.

[5tar9litter]

All of these problems I am dealing with.

The trauma I am curr trying to forget.

I know I am living it every single second. Sometimes I want it to disappear so I can just be free again. Never having to stress about him ever again. Everytime I was on my way to recovery, he came back and restarted my progress somehow.

I blocked his number. He created a fake phone number using google voice and thought he could just get me back? Just like that? By telling me, “What’s up? How pissed off r u rn? it’s me btw.” Bro that was stupid. All the anger and resentment, the sadness and heartbreak that I thought I got rid of was coming back like a bullet train at full speed. I start hyperventilating. Seeing his calls erupt my phone like crazy.

I snapped out of it. “God’s testing me to see if I’m still stupid.” I had the encourage to block him even though I missed him.

In the next 2 weeks, I recieved another message on instagram from HIM.

HE FUCKING FOUND MY INSTA.

After not being able to sleep that night and having a conversation finally after 3 months.

I learned it was his internet whatever shit and he couldn’t “recieve my messages”

Absolute bullshit.

He told me kind words. I missed you so much. I want you so bad. Please come back.

But I was spiraling. I didn’t want this. I don’t want this. I cried and went insane because of this man. I don’t want this anymore and I don’t wanna go back! Please god! Help! Help!

Finally after 4 days of literally spiraling and just losing my mind, I blocked him on all forms of communication and privated my account.

It’s been a month, it’s like I’m experiencing PTSD Again.

This happened many times though ngl.

One time, my family’s car got hit by a truck while my mom was driving us home from work. The last thing I saw was a bright red truck coming towards my side of the door. Before it hit us, I held onto any handle I could for embrace. BAM! Me and my family were spinning on the road.

We came out okay. My mom was bruised up on the legs though and my brother ended up getting a headache from smacking his head against the window. I was traumatized for a year I believe. Every red truck, I was terrified of them.

But then I got over them.

This happened with Jayden’s mom.

9 months.

The day the house caught on fire and I heard my dad scream in fear for the first time?

7 months.

The day when I heard my unknown uncle got ran over and turns out he was a horrible person so nobody picked up his dead body in the hospital?

6 months.

The khoi situation?

Prob never really. I just forgave but I don’t think I’ll ever forget him. It’s been what? A year? But I don’t have any bad feelings. Maybe a little. But sincerely you just stop caring as much.

It may be the same.

But just like the Aidan situation. You’ll always find someone better than the last. So don’t settle into thinking he will be the only one who you’ll love. Because a couple months after that, I was the most happiest woman in the world.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

AAHHHH back to this stuff o.o

Uh ohhhh

Okay a lot of this is kinda review so far but still 😬😬😬

Ooope not liking this shifty looking people shots

OOOOOOPE BOBBY'S PUNCHING SOMEBODY

OOHHHHH NOOO THEY CALLING THE POLICE

UH OH

BOBBY IK YOU'RE LOOKING FOR RECORDS BUT YOU'RE GONNA GET ARRESTED

AAAAHHHHHH

WAIT THAT'S NOT THE END??

A F I R E???!!?!??

AAAHHHHH THIS IS N O T GOOD O.O

UH OHHHH THEY'RE BLAMING BOBBY

Oh no o.o for some reason they're gonna blame him immediately 😬😬😬😳😳

I mean even though it's wrong I'm sure there's a reason but xD

Still 😳😳😳 o.o

Oh dang xd

Holy crap xD

I am STRESSED lol y'all xDD

That's the last of my last thoughts! Now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I absolutely loved loved LOVED this episode!!! I ADORED it :'DDD!!! It was so so good :'))). All the metaphors, with the space in between stuffed with ANGST 😭😭😭? SIGN ME UP :DD. But seriously lol, clearly this was something Buck really needed :'). Like, the lessons he learned from it, or that he finally solidified <33. My point is it's an important part of his storyline and character development and it was great to see :D. Plus, again, angst lol. Everybody was angsting and it was g r e a t 🥰🥰🥰.

Now, it's time for the individual bits!

Hen! I loved seeing her sit with Buck :')). Yes I will say this about all of them lol <33. They were all there for him, as they should be :'D. And also, dream her was slaying XD. As Buck said, she didn't really change lol. Icon in, icon out xD. Like in or out of the dream lol. But I'm glad she helped Buck find his way home :')) 🥰. And sometimes she was just hilarious too XDD. Anyway, she was great at her job :')). I love her ❤️❤️.

Athena :)). She was great :'DD. Her little pep talk to Buck 😭😭. I loved it :')). It was almost like a lecture lol, but basically I just mean emotional moment. It was great <33. And while I know she wasn't gonna say it, I know she felt the pain too :')). She was scared as well ❤️. But at the same time, seeing her care (and dead) for Bobby was just :'))). It was lovely, they're lovely, I love them <33. And I'm sure she was great at her job whenever she was going it lol. I love her ❤️❤️❤️.

Maddie <3. She was amazing this episode 😭. Seeing her build back (or even just build) that relationship with her mom a bit :'))? Just beautiful <3. And the annggst 😭😭. Again lol y'all, I was having the time of my life xD. Her being at Buck's side was of course amazing <333. I felt so bad for her - and dream her too DD':. Still being married to Doug?? That's awful :'((. It was a horrible reminder, but it makes sense for how that dream world was working, and it was great, if sad <33. I love her so much :')) 🥰. And I'm sure she was great at her job at some point lol xD. My traditions are becoming too much lol. And too many xD. Idk, I might change em up sometime, we'll see :). It's just usually a good thing to remember, and sometimes reminds me of other things. Anyway! She's amazing <333 ❤️.

Eddie (and Christopher)! No matter how much I'd like to put him higher, and though his smaller bits of reactions that we saw were very important to me, I have bigger plot stuff to say about the others so I'mma put him here lol. And Chris, of course. Chris was wonderful 🥰🥰. His scene with Buck was so heartbreaking and also adorable 😭😭😭❤️. And that hug at the end :')). I'm sorry for dream temptation him <3, but that bit was a little funny lol. Anyway, I love him 🥰🥰. Now back to Eddie! I do wish we'd seen a bit more of his reactions, but I'm okay with what we got :)). We've had plenty of Buck being worried about him before to show their relationship as a whole lol, so this'll work for now xD. Anyway, him during Christopher's scene with Buck was just heartbreaking 😭😭. His little turn away at the beginning (idk how to describe it it's just aOUGh the angst xD), the tears 😭😭💔❤️. Wonderful, beautiful <33. And of course, he looked so hally when he saw Buck awake :')). I love him so much <33. Also though, poor dream him 😭😭! Dream Eddie was going through it fr :((. Ik it's just a dream but I hope he got it sorted out and was with Christopher again xdd <333. Also, he was amazing at his job :')).

Chim! I loved him this episode :'DD 🥰. He was great :')). All the scenes of him with Buck/waiting for Buck were amazing 😭😭, and the dream scenes were great too :)). Even though he was crazy (well yk not really but XD) he went along with it lol :'). An icon fr <33. Or maybe for sure lol. Eh, both :)) xD. I will say I didn't expect to see so much of Chim's storyline with his dad this episode! I mean it wasn't even that much but still. It was a pleasant surprise though! And I mean, they had to have some other storyline lol. But, anyway, I'm glad he's finally getting that relationship with his dad :')). Just like Maddie :DD. It's not perfect, obviously, and this is only the beginning, but it was really great to see :')). His conversation with Albert was great (as was Albert himself - love you by the way Albert 🥰🥰😌), and his stepmom's talk with him really shined a light on the whole situation :)). I'm so glad he asked them to stay longer :DD. Also his dad with Jee-un.was absolutely ADORABLE 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!! Also, Chimney was great at his job lol :)).

Bobby! I loved him this episode :'D. We saw a bunch of his relationship with Buck, which is always cool to see, and again, the angst :))) 😭🥰. Seeing him at Buck's bedside (and how worried May and Athena were for him, just by itself and also because that means he was there a lot lol) was wonderful as well ❤️❤️❤️. And I love how even dream Bobby still helped Buck get home :')). And of course, passed on the ever-applicable and wonderful advice: You were being Buck :'))). Amazing 😭😭❤️❤️❤️ <3. I mean, original dream Bobby was going through it 😭, given that he was dead and all, but second dream Bobby was good xD. I am worried about Bobby next week, it looks like it gonna be intense o.o 😬😬😬. We've already seen how much this is affecting him, and I just know it ain't gonna be pretty :// 😬 :((. I'm sure it'll all end up okay though :')) <33. It better, anyway, lol xD. Nervous and excited for it, though!! Also the card game at the end was so cute :'DD. And of course Bobby was great at his job this episode <33.

Buck! Lastly :)). He was so, so amazing this episode <333 :')). Seeing his whole journey was awesome, and again, as I said, I think it was really important character development :')). He had a lot to work through, or at least finally solidify, to get out, but he did it :)) <333. And it was so beautiful (and plenty angsty too lol) the whole time 🥰🥰😭. Plus, seeing him even in supposedly "perfect" world trying to fix everything :')). Not in a bad way, even - I just mean like trying to help Maddie <33. It was amazing, and he was great :'DD 🥰🥰🥰😭❤️. And also, the scene at the end was so great :'DD. Him running, with the music, and then arguing first with Daniel, then visibly with himself (since technically he had been the whole time), clearing the pills and shelves out of the way, and then BREAKING THROUGH THE GLASS AND WAKING UP :DDDD!!!! It was all just so cool, and amazing :)) :'DDD. I loved it so much 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️. But yeah, he was just so great the entire episode :)). And he was clearly so happy at the end, after waking up 🥰🥰🥰 :')). And don't even get me STARTED on the COUCHHHH 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰. Just like Maddie lol xD. Except it's not the story itself but the symbolism and emotional story/meaning :')). I just- IT!!! Even though I was obviously hoping for it to be more directly associated with Eddie xD, it was still great lol :')). He has love :). And he knows it <33. I love him so so much 🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️ :').

Overall, I really loved this episode. I thought it was absolutely amazing :)). Super emotional, obviously xdd 😭😭, but so great :'DD. The emotions just made it better :'))). So, not really a "but", but an "and" :). Seeing everyone there for Buck was of course heartbreaking but wonderful, and Chimney, Maddie, and Buck's newfound/healing relationships with their parents were beautiful :')). I'm so happy for them <33. And I'm so glad Buck is okay :'DDD. And I'm happy for the emotional stuff he managed to move through :')). He's made such progress, and he made even more this episode <33. In so proud of him :'DD. I'm worried for Bobby next week 😬. Like I already said, we've seen how much this is affecting him already, and I think we're just gonna see that getting worse and worse next episode o.o 😬. I really hope it all works out <33. Despite my nervousness though, I'm still really excited for it :D. We'll see what happens! It better all be okay lol 🥰🥰. But back to this episode, it was just so good :). All the little parts, little moments, little details, were so amazing. They complimented the bigger picture stuff so we'll, and it was just really well done :))) ❤️❤️🥰.

So yeah! I loved this episode. It was just so amazing and well done. I'm nervous for next time! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 11: In Another Life

It was so great! I'm scared for next episode, but really excited to see what happens. I'll be back next week with my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 12: Recovery

See you then!

[radiant-reid]

Beyond Breaking // Chapter One

everything we didn’t want

Summary: All painful heartbreak has to reach a turning point and when emotions are involved, impulsive words are spoken and hasty decisions are made

Content Warning: divorce, allusion to sex, heavily referencing 14x15, Truth or Dare

Word Count: 2.8k

Masterlist Navigation Series Masterlist

Photos lie. Usually, they show one happy second. Sometimes it's a split second where a whole family is smiling despite the misery of having to be together.

But the ones littering the hallway of the Reids' townhouse weren't lying. Their smiles and bright eyes showed the beautiful memories they all shared.

And Y/n's attention always drifted to one special one, her favorite one. It was the five of them in The Bahamas, Spencer's first international trip since Mexico. It was real. Those wide smiles were real for two whole weeks.

It was the best hotel Spencer could find, not wanting to compromise for his family more than he already had. There was going to be no more of what he perceived as selfishness when he went to prison.

Y/n never saw it as selfishness, she saw Mexico for what it was: Spencer being the best son in the world. But that didn't mean it didn't change absolutely everything.

Florence hadn't understood any of it. At 1 and a half, she only understood day, night, and daycare. She still babbled about where Daddy was, cried continuously when she couldn't see him, and reached out for him in the photos lining the walls.

Bennett had comprehended more of it. He knew something about Spencer being away for so long was wrong. The then-4-year-old couldn't understand why Daddy couldn't come to his soccer games and pick him up from Pre-K. He didn't know why the book they read together stayed on his bedside table or why his mom couldn't hold it open while his dad read it from somewhere across the country.

Madelaine, unfortunately, had a firmer grasp on the concept of time and had understood that her dad was gone for a lot longer than he usually was. Y/n avoided telling the truth. She wasn't going to break such harsh news to a 6-year-old, but Maddie understood something much worse was wrong, and the little girl was determined to pour her whole heart into each artwork that she sent him.

Y/n found a way to make things better. It was overcompensating on her part, definitely, so much overcompensating all three of her children had new toys, books, clothing, and the occasional day off school.

She struggled the most. She knew she had to, but the impossibly bad situation caused so much pain. Emily's number was on her speed dial and they talked every night, even if the BAU was working on a case with zero sleep or Emily was meant to be out on a date. All she was focused on was getting Spencer out of prison, getting Y/n through him being gone, and putting their lives back on track.

The whole team rallied around the Reids. Rossi, or Krystall if he was away, had them over for dinner every Friday night. JJ was at every soccer game of Maddie and Ben, and they had brunch with her and the Lamontagne boys every Sunday. Morgan picked them up from school some days, so they could hang out with their cousin Hank. Tara hung out lots when she wasn't on cases with the team, spending as much time with the kids as she could. Luke saw them all the time, going to the park with them where they could play on the playground or with Roxy while he and Y/n talked. Penelope was there every day she could be, nothing but smiles and positivity for the kids and emotional support for every break-down Y/n had.

The Bahamas were because of Mexico, the make-up trip to end all of the guilt Spencer had. It was 12 special days in the sunshine with the four people he loved most in the world. He couldn't even hate the beach when they were all there, swimming in the ocean, eating fruit, and spending every moment together. It might have been some people's nightmare, but it was exactly what he dreamed of every night in that horrible place. Whenever the kids went to the kids club, it was just the two of them, like it was when they went on vacations while Y/n was still at the BAU.

Three little Reid kids with tanner skin laying against the white bedsheets, exhausted after each day in the sun, made both Y/n and Spencer's hearts warm. This was what they worked so hard for.

They talked every evening, more words than they had in the months before that, and when there was no more talking, there was cuddling. They had sex, too, so much sex. Like they were making up for all the missed time. There was none of the quick, stress-relieving fucks he had needed months before. Every time he touched her it was so full of adoration and appreciation that she thought it was never going to end.

But it did.

Slowly, all of it faded away, and they were left with the pretty wooden frames, matching the rest of their decor, displaying the moments of joy in the hall.

"Reminiscing?" Spencer's question broke her out of the little happy bubble she was trying to keep herself in.

It was easier to remember the joy in those photos when she didn't have to look at his face. That tired expression should have made her break, but it didn't anymore. Even looking at him, she didn't feel anything but empty. There was no more anger, love, or hurt. There was just hollowness. It wasn't even really Spencer anymore. Just the face of someone she had built a life with. Beautiful, but only externally.

"Something like that." She replied, shrugging but trying not to come off as too hostile. What she didn't need tonight was another argument.

It was an odd question for him to even ask, and she couldn't figure out what possibly would cause him to break the barrier of their current silent agreement to co-exist without speaking to each other.

Their usual greetings of kisses, hugs, and sharing anecdotes from their days had been traded for the silence that dragged two deeply unhappy people who fell out of love with each other in.

As she put her things on her home desk, she could feel Spencer's eyes on her, and it annoyed her more than it should have. Holding it together was becoming more and more difficult, and Y/n ran her hand through her hair in an attempt not to snap at him as she walked down further down the hall and towards the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" She asked before she could stop herself, opening the fridge to find something to eat. After hours of being at work- all of them to avoid Spencer- she was starving.

It really didn't make any sense for him to be there. Not when they were only putting on an act while the kids were awake. But there he sat: on the stool at the kitchen island. So far away from her but right in front of her.

Spencer scoffed, looking up from his phone which he usually never used. "I live here."

"Not really, though." She countered, raising her eyebrows like it was an attempt for him to challenge her.

"This?" He asked. "Are we really going to do this?" His frustration was coming out at the fact they had this conversation almost every time they saw each without the kids there. The exchange of snide remarks was exhausting.

Y/n didn't know how many more times she could explain it in a way he might understand. "No." She was too tired to try. There wasn't even any point in trying.

"Good." He agreed, irritating her even more, but he couldn't stop. "Because I do live here."

She should have known, the decade ago they got into a relationship, that Spencer's stubbornness would be their downfall. "Well, maybe you shouldn't." She firmly stated, turning the tap on and filling up a glass of water.

The rest of the bench was messy. The rest of the house was messy, actually. It was hard not to be with three young kids, barely-there Spencer, and less-and-less-there Y/n. There were books, homework projects, coloring pencils, stuffed toys, part of a train set, and two hoodies just in her eye line. The chaos was her and the kids, but it wasn't Spencer.

"Is that what you want?" He asked, and her eyes drifted back to him. It was such a simple way of asking a question that would change their lives.

When they got married, she couldn't imagine they would ever be here. Back then, she would have screamed and cried at the pain of her heart breaking, but today she couldn't feel anything but indifference.

And she didn't hesitate with her answer, not taking a moment to look into his eyes and remember when she used to love him more than anything else. "Yes." Her fingers didn't even tighten around the glass as she set it down on the countertop and her heart didn't crack like she thought it would. When she looked up at him, there was no change in his eyes, although, he was too good at hiding it for her to notice if there was. "What do you think?"

"You usually don't care about what I feel." Spencer shot back, holding eye contact with her like he had been challenged.

"Seriously?" She asked dryly, throwing her arms up in the air. "I just asked you what you think. Whether I care or not doesn't matter, just answer the question." He rolled his eyes, earning a degree of rage in her that no one else could. "Fine. Don't answer because I don't really care."

"Mm, sure." He replied sarcastically, not believing what she was telling him.

It was the truth, and the fact he didn't accept it infuriated her. Even though he was asking her to explain exactly how much she didn't care about him, she was determined to take the high road. "God, you're insufferable." She huffed.

"Real mature." He huffed back.

"It is not my fault you can never tell me what you think." She replied, throwing her arms up in the air to show him her frustration. "I cannot keep tolerating your attitude." It was like she was trying to stop Florence from screaming when she wanted ice cream for breakfast. Dealing with her husband took more patience than dealing with their three-year-old.

He screwed up his nose. They'd been here before far too many times. Too many times for it to continue. "You don't deal with it. You come home, avoid talking to me, and act like nothing fucking happened!"

That made her snap, eyes darkening further. Her grip against the kitchen countertop was so strong it was turning her knuckles white. "Something did fucking happen, though, didn't it!?" She yelled back, feeling the tears prick just at the memory. The anger was all-consuming, and it wasn't close to going away. "I'm only pretending for them." Their three perfect children, who didn't know a fraction of the things their parents were feeling. That was how it was supposed to be, but Y/n could only keep up their appearances for so long. "You would have been gone as soon as you got back from LA if it weren't for them."

"Oh, and I'm so grateful that I have to stay here." He complained sarcastically, a pout accentuating the pink of his lips.

She took a moment to breathe, not wanting to scream at him for his ungratefulness. There was something so wrong about the fact he couldn't see how much she did for their family and a lot more for their marriage. "Do you want to stay here? So I can scream at you once they're all at school for what happened in LA?" She demanded.

"It's not a big de-"

That was the one thing he hadn't gone as far as to say. Before tonight, he knew it was too much.

"Shut the fuck up!" Y/n ordered, standing her ground in the kitchen. It was remarkable how far they'd fallen in just a few months. "How would you feel if Derek suddenly declared he was in love with me?" Her voice cracked quietly enough for him not to notice, and she held blinked back hot tears in her eyes.

"That's not the same!" Spencer shouted back. There was something possessive in his tone while he refused to answer the question.

She clenched her fists in her hand, resisting the urge to throw the glass across the room. "Yes, it is! She was my best friend, and you're supposed to be my husband. How can you be so goddamn dismissive of this?" There was so little air in the room that she felt like she was suffocating.

"She said it to save our lives! For you and Will and our kids!" He tried to reason, knowing she couldn't understand it when she hadn't been there. "What Will went through was worse, and he's fine. Why aren't you? LA didn't even change what was going on with us! You're just trying to pin it all on me." The hole he was digging himself into was deep, but he only doubled down with those few spiteful statements.

"Aren't you adult enough to admit it?" She asked, voice lowering again in a faux calm state. All she needed to do was get the conversation over and go to bed to cry.

Spencer huffed, running a hand through his messy curls and tugging out the ends like he always did when he was furious. "Fine. LA changed us. It was the final nail in the coffin. You can't get over it, so we're not going to be able to move on."

"Do you actually understand how much that shit hurt, Spencer?" She questioned, so much sadness present in her tone. For weeks she'd cried over the pain of the betrayal and Spencer's ruthless attitude about it. There had been none of the comforts she was used to with him, the comfort that defined him. "You like facts, so think about this; I came to the team when JJ left, we started our relationship when she fucked you over with Emily, and we got engaged after she got married. It's always been about me compared to her, I just haven't seen it until now."

"You're trying to make it about me and her, and it's not!" He yelled, pushing more of his curls back. "This is about the problems we have had for months. Since prison. You never forgave me for that, and you never will which is why there is no point in continuing this."

With shaking fingers, she took her wedding and engagement ring off, sliding them across the bench to him. Why she had been wearing it for so long, she didn't know. Maybe the memories of all the years between them stopped her from giving up.

This was their end.

"I agree." She nodded. "But you should be giving me a lot more credit for everything I had to do after your poor decisions."

He wasn't ready to defend that to her, not when he was so furious and the grief was still eating him alive. "I'm done." Spencer declared, getting up from his seat. The rings lay abandoned on the cold marble countertop.

Y/n hadn't noticed the suitcase he had sitting by the door, but it was like he was waiting to pick this fight so he could finally be finished with their family.

She didn't want everything between them to always be so difficult and toxic. Fights shouldn't end in sex before sleeping in different bedrooms or days of silence. It was never ever meant to be like this. They were meant to be communicating like they vowed to do.

Not once did she think about stopping him before he went out the front door because it wasn't a movie, it was real life, and it sucked. And Spencer sucked, and all the love she used to feel for him was quickly turning to hatred.

Even once the door locked, her mouth stayed wide open at the shock of it all. Somehow, it was shocking and expected, but it left her with an emptiness inside her.

The loud anger didn't give her the opportunity to feel anything else about the situation. Y/n was mad at him, she knew that, but over the noise, she couldn't determine if she was scared, upset, or relieved.

She just felt empty.

The tears started streaming down her cheeks before she was consciously crying, no doubt leaving a track of black mascara. But she did what she had conditioned herself to do- what Spencer had forced her to learn to do,- wiped them up and tidied up some of the mess in the house before going to bed and trying to sleep.

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[whumpsday]

Whumpmas in July Day 5: Who is your favorite whumpee?

i can’t pick just one, so i’m gonna go over a bunch of my faves! in alphabetical order:

Aaron & Henri from Of Vampires and Men by @whumpy-writings​

I LOVE THESE GUYS. two amazingly resilient whumpees, each in their own way. of vampires and men takes place in a world where humans are subjugated by vampires, and is honestly a huge inspiration for me with my own work. i love aaron’s whole romance with micah and waiting the six years for micah to finish his military service and come save him. i love aaron’s love for his daughter. i love how henri sacrificed himself, offering himself up to be owned by a cruel whumper in aaron’s place, because he knows aaron has a chance of making it out. i love henri’s struggle with his panic attacks that aldon helps him through. everything about these guys (and this series in general) is SPECTACULAR.

Bailey from With Bloody Outstretched Hands by @wolfeyedwitch

ahhh villain whumpee showing up on hero’s doorstep for refuge while running away from a bigger bad, my beloved. bailey is awesome. i love how they’re recovering with the heroes, but also knowing that they were the one who tortured icarus and just waiting for someone to eventually find out and the other shoe to drop. guilt is a fave trait of mine in whumpees.

Briac from Smoke, Salt, and Asbestos by @quietly-by-myself

MY SWEETIE... MY BELOVED... briac is so special. i love him so dearly. his backstory is absolutely HEARTWRENCHING. believing himself to be a normal human his whole life, only to get the rug pulled out from under him when it’s revealed he’s a changeling. his mother who he’d been close to all his life suddenly turning against him. his friends, too. being tortured and forcibly having his personhood removed, all for something that happened when he was a baby that he had no control over. watching him recover from this and be LOVED for who he is has been magical. i want to give him a hug.

Brody from Brody by @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

one of the best pet whumpees out there! his progression is absolutely heartbreaking. being taken in by caretakers and learning how to be his own person... only to be recaptured and viciously torn down all over again. this guy just can’t catch a break. but honestly, what makes brody a favorite for me is knowing how his story ends. knowing he DOES eventually regain his freedom during the future where he becomes mr. patricks, helping other escaped pets. he’s such a sweetheart and i adore him.

Danny from Cat and Mouse by @t0rture-me

i love when a whumpee is thrown in a no-win situation, and that’s exactly what danny’s got: being held captive by two vampires who want opposite things from him. if he obeys one the other gets mad. how horribly, terrifyingly stressful. this poor guy. i wanna give him a HUG. he tries so hard. he just doesn’t want to be hurt. but it’s impossible. at least one of his whumpers is kind of nice sometimes.

El (Pumpkin) from Killing, Stalking, Whumping and SPK by @whumpshaped

EL!!!! MY FRIEND EL!!!!! i love them so much. their canon story is absolutely HEARTBREAKING, especially when you have the extra context of spk. all the things they could have accomplished, all the happiness they could have had, snuffed out by a cruel whumper who couldn’t even grant them the glorious type of death they wanted. and then in spk... seeing them recover from all of it, and getting to interweave that with my own story, is amazing. they have a really interesting conundrum where they still have this stockholm syndrome type attachment to their whumper that makes them a cool, unique character.

and the spk version of el has their own blog!! @pumpkin--anon​ 

Haze from Hazeshift by @whumpwillow

haze is the absolute KING of whumper-turned-whumpees. from torturer to tortured, haze was first tortured by a bigger badder villain, and is now imprisoned by the heroes. and though it’s somewhat better here, his former whumpee and his friends are out for revenge and haze does NOT have a good time, though one of the heroes is looking out for him. i find haze really interesting because usually, whumper-turned-whumpee tends to be of the “disproportionate retribution” variety, but haze was FULLY a torturer. brings up some interesting moral questions and makes for great character motivations.

Joy from The Monster of Lindborough by @secretwhumplair

joy is INCREDIBLE. honestly possibly my favorite whumpee of all time? his writing is absolutely immaculate, this story is a masterpiece, i could hype it up all day. joy is just a werewolf who’s trying his best despite absolutely dismal circumstances. he reminds me of this quote from the show russian doll: “You were this tiny seed buried in darkness fighting your way to the light. You wanted to live. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world.” i adore his arc so much, where despite everything he manages to win himself safety and love. he’s everything to me.

Rowe from Tomas and Rowe by @whumpzone

tomas and rowe was the first longform whump story i ever got really into, i might even go as far as to say that it got me into whump, and rowe will always hold a very special place in my heart. the fact that the whumping happens DURING the recovery arc is a super unique aspect to this story, and i love how rowe tries to recover and see tomas as a friend & safe person despite also being secretly tortured at the same time. and MOST OF ALL, i love his ending, which i will not spoil, but is incredibly satisfying. seeing him gain that strength was so cathartic. I LOVE ROWE

Wyatt from One Night’s Mistake by @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

AAAAAA WYATT MY SWEET PRINCE.... he’s such a sweetheart, i adore him. i love how he defends maisie even when it gets him hurt. i love how he tries so so hard. i love watching him learn to accept touch in a healthy, platonic way. learning to feel safe again. he’s SO sweet!!!

@whumpmasinjuly​

[hoe-imaginess]

Hi there! Can I pls request hcs for the founders with a fem s/o who’s always physically unwell as a result of her constant stress and exhaustion, but she neglects it? e.g. constant migraines, vomiting, insomnia. Thank you so much, I hope you’re doing well!

Hashirama

•It’s been tough for you lately. Maybe your schoolwork is too much for you to handle, or maybe your job is too demanding—whatever it is, either way, Hashi notices, and hates it

•But when he voices his concern, you reply like you usually do: telling him not to worry about it, telling him it’s fine because you can handle it, like you always do

•But that’s just the thing: you can’t handle it, and Hashi sees clear evidence of that. You’re in physical pain and there seems to be nothing he can do to help. He doesn’t know how get through to you without feeling like he’s putting an extra load of pressure on you. After all, with everything you’ve got going on, the last thing you need is him hounding you about self-care and acting like your babysitter (even though he’s entirely happy to be your babysitter). He doesn’t want to be another anxiety on your long list. So he’s really at a loss

•It also doesn’t help that you seem to avoid talking about your issues, specifically because Hashirama is a talk-no-jutsu expert and can usually either help you work through your problems, or simply function as an excellent listener and shoulder to cry on

•He tries to compromise with you, tries to ask you to give yourself a break, maybe even just an hour a day. If compromising doesn’t work, Hashi actually starts to beg

•What else is he supposed to do? He’s literally watching you wither away from stress and he doesn’t know what to do about it. And lemme tell you, watching Hashi beg, possibly on the verge of tears, is absolutely heartbreaking

Tobirama

•It’s sort of hard for him to reprimand your unhealthy work ethic when he’s the exact same way. It’s a rare night when you don’t find Tobirama in his office working into the early hours of the morning. He’s a workaholic, but maybe not always to the expense of his health, like you

•He can’t blame you for overworking yourself without calling the kettle black, he can’t tell you to take a break when he certainly won’t take a break. So what to do?

•It bothers Tobirama to see you like this—running on minimum sleep, constantly in pain, and all because you refuse to help yourself. Yeah he can be a bit of an unsympathetic asshole, but it’s different when it comes to his s/o. If it were anyone else, he’d have a hard time really caring when all of these problems are easily solvable. But it’s not someone else. It’s you. And that changes the whole thing

•He’s still bitter about it though. He doesn’t know how to get through to you. His stern remarks about your health turn to scoldings, which turn to debates, which turn to heated arguments. Deep down he feels bad for losing his temper with you, but he can’t help it. Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself??? It frustrates the hell out of him

•It definitely adds to your stress, but that’s the only way Tobirama can handle this sort of thing. If he feels you’re being stubborn about it then of course he can’t help but get mad. He’s even more mad because he feels powerless in this situation, and there’s nothing he hates more than feeling powerless. Especially when it comes to you  

Madara

• Madara is somewhere between “I understand that it’s not easy to take care of yourself all the time” and “I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself”

• Maybe your stress manifests in your temper; you and Madara get into small fights more often than usual, most of these fights resulting in tense silences for the rest of the night that neither of you enjoy, but can’t seem to work around because you don’t know how to handle your frustrations and Madara doesn’t know either

•The whole situation upsets him. Every time he sees you looking horribly exhausted or rubbing your head because of migraines, it just irks him because he knows how serious this is, but you act like you don’t

•His reasons for being upset are also a little selfish. He can’t help but notice that the more overworked you are, the less attentive you are to him. It’s not that he demands your attention every second of the day, but you’re ignoring him as much as you’re ignoring your own health, and it bothers the hell out of him

•Madara can be a judgmental guy, so it’s not surprising if you find yourself shying away from him while you’re going through this—what if he finds your vomiting and your exhaustion off-putting? What if he finds you off-putting?

•But don’t worry, he’s not thinking that way at all. He’s just worried about you, to the point that it physically hurts him when you’re in pain

[honeytae]

Hi!! Idk if you’re taking requests or not, but I was hoping I could request something along the lines of where you’re in love with your best friend, taehyung, but he doesn’t know and he’s getting married soon. you don’t tell him how you feel until the night of his wedding when you’re a bit tipsy from drinking your feelings away. you can decide the ending! thank you in advance if you end up writing this! hope you’re doing well and staying safe. Xx

hi darling! i’m so sorry this took so long for me to write. i couldn’t get it to a point where i was satisfied with it for a really long time, i still don’t feel that good about it honestly but hopefully it’s okay for you!!! i tried to make it angsty (yikes) so hopefully it’s not horrible lmao

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy, @the1921-monsters

genre: angst

word count: 1.6k

warnings: um so much heartbreak, oc is a little (very) in denial about the situation and comes off a little toxic tbh, requited love but nothing they can do about it now, mentions of tae going into a panic attack

You couldn’t handle it.

You couldn’t handle the ‘congratulations to the happy couple,’ nor the Mr. and Mrs. Kim sign practically floating over their heads. You couldn’t handle the copious bouquets and all the preparations that went into this.

And you felt like a complete asshole about it.

Which is precisely why you decided to prematurely exit the event, doing yourself and everyone else a favor by leaving for the night to go sulk in your hotel by your lonesome.

The elevator ride up to your floor was miserable, your own battles within your mind coupled with the fact that your floor was the top one, making the ride excruciatingly long on top of everything else.

Rustling with the hotel key in your bag seemed to take forever as well, finally barging into your half unpacked space with a sigh. You quickly shut the door behind you, hoping you’d been able to sneak away from the hotel lobby without any guests noticing.

Shuffling further into the room, you sat on the edge of the king bed in the center of the room, placing your head in your hands at the mere prospect of this weekend.

Taehyung was getting married. Kim Taehyung, your best friend, the one person you’d been pining for since middle school, would be legally bound to someone else in less than twenty four hours.

Maybe you just shouldn’t have come. Despite sending red flags to Tae, you couldn’t think of a better solution than fleeing at this exact moment. Why did you think you could handle this?

Two knocks against the locked door had your head raising from its resting place, cursing under your breath at someone coming after you.

You didn’t feel well. That would be your excuse.

“Hey, you okay?” Immediately upon opening the door, Taehyung spoke the question out into the air, dark eyebrows knit in concern and kind eyes imploring yours for an answer.

“Hi. I’m fine, just a little tired, Tae.” You pressed your lips together in a hopefully believable smile, the man frowning before nodding at you.

“Me too. Can I come in?” He asked, the question completely innocent however making your heart rate a bit faster at the what if. What if things had gone differently? What if it was still a possibility for things to escalate between you two?

Cut it out. He’s about to be a married man.

You raised your eyebrows at him for a moment, then stepped back to allow him in, putting all your concentration on shutting the wood for a moment as you took a steadying breath.

“What about your party?” You wondered aloud, the man humming as he took a seat on your fully made bed.

“I’m tired of the parties. They’re exhausting.” He chuckled, covering his face with his hands as he reclined back on your bed.

Your heart skipped another beat at the vision, his tight pants leaving little to the imagination and buttons from his dress shirt stretched to new limits with his strained position. Diverting your eyes, you walked over to the desk chair in the corner of your room, reaching for a water bottle out of your mini fridge. Get a fucking grip.

Tossing one over to the bed beside Taehyung, you sat down in the plush seat, grateful that the man didn’t seem to notice your distance from him as you glanced out the window.

Until….

“Are you really okay? I feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately.”

At his sudden words, you froze, gripping your water a bit tighter as you brought your eyes back to his face. He was closer now than before, having scooted to the edge of your bed to lean toward you, eyes showing concern for you as you shuffled in your seat.

Taehyung was never one to beat around the bush, and at times like this, you really wish he would just brush some things under the rug as easy as you could.

“I’m good, Tae. Just have a lot going on, I guess. I’m sorry I made you feel like that.” You said, hoping to clear the air and dismiss the topic as soon as you possibly could. The man’s stare wasn’t helping your state any.

“No apologies. Just wanted to check in on you.” He sighed, seemingly disappointed with your lack of response before a hideous painting across the room caught his eye.

“What the fuck is that?” He griped, making you chuckle as he sat up to lean toward the art piece, squinting with his lip curled in amusement.

“It’s not so bad.” You shrugged, smirking when he turned back to you in bewilderment. Realizing you were teasing him, his eyes went back to normal size, a smile meeting his own lips at the return of your familiar banter.

“How can you sleep in a room with that shit? I feel like asking for a refund.” He shook his head, making you laugh before taking a swig from your water.

“Somehow I manage.” You replied, twisting the cap back on the bottle with a sigh.

It’s times like these that you feel as though nothing is wrong. Times like these that transport you back to periods of your life when Taehyung was just a call away, and you thought maybe, just maybe, you two had a chance. But that was over now. Those days were no more.

Because Taehyung informing you about a blind date then turned into him in a full blown relationship, a serious one at that, and soon enough they were taking big steps such as meeting the parents, moving in together, and yes, getting engaged.

Your friends had been just as shocked as you were, pitying you with deep sympathetic looks over Taehyungs shoulder as you hugged him in confused congratulations. It had all happened so fast...how did you manage to lose him forever?

Waking up the next day, you felt a particular heaviness on your chest. It was the day before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner turned into an entire day of partying for their guests. A celebratory day, if anything.

But waking up and getting all dolled up for this occasion was the absolute last thing you wanted to do, today or ever. You had always thought that you’d have much more of a starring role in Kim Taehyung’s life. Shaking your head to dismiss those kinds of thoughts, you cursed as you left your hotel room, wondering how the hell you’d be getting through this day.

Four martinis. Four martinis was how you’d be getting through today. The bartender had become one of your closest acquaintances over the past few hours, eyeballing you silently as he poured you yet another cocktail, your demands obvious that you were not drinking out of celebration.

Sitting at the bar, you contemplated everything. From the time you’d met Tae, you had been so sure that you two completed each other. Were you that naive? And fuck, why are you still thinking about this now? It’s over. You and Tae will never be.

Nearly jumping off your stool at a hand suddenly clapping your back, you shifted your gaze over to the arm belonging to Jungkook, one of Taehyung’s youngest yet wisest friends.

“You’re sulking.” He said plainly, dark eyes tracing over your faded features, briefly examining the drink in your hand before shooting the bartender a knowing look.

“You shouldn’t be out here.” You sighed, nearly breaking into a sob when his hand laid over yours, fingers fitting between your own in a comforting gesture. With one glance at the man, you gained all the information you didn’t want.

He knew.

You wondered how long he’d known. Jungkook, being the quiet and relatively introverted person he was, was an observer. He knew everything about everyone it seemed, by not speaking to them at all. He noticed everything.

You just hoped he didn’t notice the way your eyes started blinking rapidly, and that he’d instead just go back into the party without another word.

“Neither should you.” He replied to you, his tone holding nothing but concern as he tried to catch your eyes.

You just couldn’t hold it in.

“Well maybe if I wasn’t in love with him I’d be having a better time.” You mumbled, leaning your head down on your hands, elbows pressed to the tops of your thighs, sad and tired as Jungkook froze beside you.

Unbeknownst to you, a concerned Taehyung had also come to find you, stumbling upon that very scene as Jungkook tried to console you.

Meeting eyes with his older friend, Jungkook’s mouth gaped open for a moment, opening and closing like a fish out of water as you cluelessly rambled under your breath about how stupid you were to ever let yourself come here.

With a shaky exhale, Taehyung silently began to put it all together. The way you’d been working constantly lately, picking up every shift you could to decline his repeated attempts at getting together with you, the way you’d ran off last night and brushed it off as you being too tired. It was all adding up.

You were struggling with this as much as he was. Maybe more.

But what Taehyung could do about this years ago was no longer an option, his hands shaking at his sides as he spun on his heel and walked out of the lobby. He could briefly hear Jungkook call for him but ignored it, breathing heavily as he rounded one of the hallways leading to the restrooms.

Unshed tears misted over his eyes as he hugged a corner of the wall, feeling rather unsteady as he leaned his forehead against the cool surface. The burning pain in his chest had him sinking down to the floor in an instant, sobs wracking his shoulders with heightening emotions rising in his throat.

You’d finally given him the green light. And it was too fucking late.