#associate with me anyways so its better if i get into a really poorly written reboot. obsess with it for years. fall out of love.

[ouclematis]

i cant wait to be bullied and be driven to suicide because i am a keith voltron self shipper. its the only way i can cope in this miserable fucking world. all i do is drink and sleep. rot in bed and do nothing except blast my house with speakers. im a defenition of a real looser. cant wait to see how my classmates who thought i was annoying and stalkery would see my suicide note in next year.

[transsexualgriffith]

what *is* berserk? i've heard about it/heard the title, but have like 0 clue what it's even about other than potentially "grimdark medieval-esque fantasy"

sexual repression.

okay that was my meme answer, reyni i cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am you asked this. I will be very upfront and tell you that truly even after all the praise I will sing it, i consider it highly unlikely that berserk is a story you personally would enjoy, but I am so glad I get to tell you about it anyways.

the question of "what is berserk" is kind of..infinitely complex. none of the assumptions you have are wrong, infact they're right on the money, and you would be far from the first to have never known berserk to be anything but those things. i don't believe that I knew very much of anything at all about berserk before I myself chose to watch (and then read) it. I went into it basically completely blind and I believe i was better for it, because nothing anyone could've told me about berserk would've been able to prepare me for what I was about to read.

berserk is, first of, and I believe you're interested in manga as how it exists as a medium and of course japanese culture associated with it, one of the most influential manga of all time. it is essentially a manga equivalent of classic lit, and rightfully so. berserk has some of the most incredible art work I have I have ever seen. berserk is extremely thought out and detailed and it changed a million perspectives on manga as an art form by its existing. set an impossible standard for seinen forevermore. it has immense value in being looked at through this lense alone.

and berserk is dark. and edgy. and a product of its time. berserk is incredibly violent, in all ways that a story can be violent, sometimes smartly, sometimes poorly, rarely apologetically. berserk has possibly every trigger warning in existence, it has an abundance of things that are nasty and inappropriate and should not have been written in the way they are, and should not be celebrated for it the way that it is.

and then, berserk is queer. this shocks many people to find out, because in fact the common consensus is otherwise, and berserk has a horrible cishet-male dominant fandom who cannot comprehend even the basic themes of the story, and its queerness is the antithesis to all that berserk is largely understood to be.

but reyni, berserk is so queer.

berserk is one of the queerest stories I've ever read and i really don't say this lightly. queer readings of classic lit are possibly all I have been doing for the past nine years or so of my life and I count berserk among them. berserk is more queer than alot of stories with ""canonically"" queer rep could ever aspire to be, because in berserk the queerness is the driving force of the plot. everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in nearly four hundred chapters of this manga, has occurred in consequence of two men being unable to reconcile their (sexual) trauma with their emotions, primarily their feelings towards one another. and berserk is not subtle about this. it is honestly the least subtle thing I can imagine.

berserk is the story of an ex mercenary called guts on his quest for both revenge and personal growth, and more importantly it is the story of a young mans struggle with repression, apathy, anger, deep feeling, and desire. berserk is, in this at least, very clever about utilising guts csa trauma as his reason for succumbing to violence. in general I think berserk if treated the right way, is a great case study for the anatomy of male emotion. berserk is the tale of a mercenary bands falling head first into glory and then doom, it is a high fantasy with incredible cosmology lore behind it, it's about political intrigue, its about religion, it reaches the darkest depths of what fantasy can be and sometimes brings it to the highest; there are parts of it I think you might detest and there are whole arcs I think you would love, there are chapters you would never know were from a seinen because its being intentionally written like a shoujo; you forget the darkness for all the light just as often as the other way around; there's a cursed amulet, and there's even bishies. (also they've got blue haired elves which I think u could appreciate.)

i know this has gotten a little long, but I really wanted to give u a real impression of the wonderful immersive hundred-fold that berserk is to me. I dont think I can ever truly put it down into words. I doubt you'll be surprised to learn of my love of white haired bishounen since you have known me rather some time now, and certainly that's a driving motivator but I earnestly didn't expect to ever get as much out of berserk as I did. it's maybe the most I have ever fallen for a story. ty for ur askkkk don't read it

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Hi hi! I really really love your Monster fics, the emotions always have me in a grip ;u; sorry to be throwing you back since I'm late hahaaaaa, but for the fic asks: D (A Hand to Hold and/or Don't Turn Around), F, S

Thank you!! <3 I'm so glad you enjoy my stories ;v; and thank you for the ask!!!

Writer asks

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

A Hand to Hold: Not in particular, but I offer you my Guriten playlist anyways:

Don't Turn Around: So, the fic itself is an Orpheus & Eurydice retelling mostly inspired by a pair of songs by Arcade Fire. It more directly references "It's Never Over (Hey Orpheus)" which opens with the lyrics Don't turn around right at the beginning.

Just for comparison's sake, here's the companion song, Awful Sound (Oh, Eurydice):

The entire reflektor album fucks like crazy btw.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Sorry this is going to come from my Astro Boy works just bc that's what I'm currently working on and therefore what's eating my brain matter but I think it would have to be this one:

“The public thinks of you as a part of the robot rights campaign. You’ve been inextricably connected, no matter how you position yourself. It would be easy for you to join me.” Tenma’s brows pinched together. He wasn’t really…. asking that, was he? “I’m sure that would be a good look. ’Terrorist Tenma is accepted into Robot Rights campaign’. It would be the end for you.” “And they’re already running with that, aren’t they? It wouldn’t change a thing.” …But it would. Of course it would. Right now, Hiroshi could order a retraction. He could publicly state that Tenma’s involvement in his campaign was incidental only, that he was an aid in his physical recovery and not a part of the robot rights movement. He could do that and it would regain him credibility with the press. So why was he– “Unless you’re saying that you don’t want to. I understand, of course.” “I didn’t say that.” But he should say that. If he pulled out now, if he refused Hiroshi outright, then the robot rights movement would be able to regain its momentum. Tenma’s presence would do nothing but drag it down. With his help, Hiroshi’s championing would come to a screeching, sputtering halt. Is that what you want? For me to destroy your…

Sorry it's more than just dialogue, but with the way I write inner monologues it kind of matters. Anyway what gets me about this scene is that it's all in code. Like, sure Ochanomizu would like Tenma to be part of his robot rights campaign, but that's not actually what he's asking. What he wants is for Tenma to be a part of his life. They used to be close. He wants that back.

But on the other hand Tenma is a very troubled person with a very bad track record. He causes problems, he doesn't fix them. And the thing is he knows what Ochanomizu is really asking, and he's stuck between wanting to be part of his best friend's life again and the dread of knowing the type of person that he is - that he'll end up ruining everything. He doesn't trust himself not to hurt Ochanomizu.

It gets brought up again later in the chapter and they blow the whole thing open and have a proper discussion about wanting to be in each others' lives but it just Gets to me when they have these kind of coded conversations that both are fully aware of the real meaning but it's just easier to Not Deal With It right then.

Thank you for listening to me ramble about poorly adjusted old men

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I don't know if it's a "fandom" trope specifically but I am obsessed with having one half of a pairing be dead and appear to the other half as a kind of psychological manifestation (or an actual ghost) that both haunts them and helps bring about catharsis of grief and forgiveness. If I can somehow involve the sea it's even better.

[firelxdykatara]

If you interpret Katara’s aggression towards Zuko as romantic affection, then you have some serious issues of your own. Is a very dangerous message for teenage girls indeed. People who ship Zutara have to seriously analyze how unhealthy the message of the pairing would be. Katara hated Zuko for a valid reason, and to twist it into something it’s not is massively disrespectful to both the character. The outdated and ridiculous notion that a girl who acts like she doesn’t like a guy is simply “confused” and “denying her feelings” is so sexist and degrading. Take her emotions at face value. It's never been

Yawn. Boring. This is the same old tired argument I’ve heard a million times before--the one that proves a) you don’t actually understand how relationships work, and b) you’ve never read a single zutara meta in your life, because that’s the only way you could seriously get the ‘good girl is secretly in love with the bad boy and hopes to fix him’ read of a relationship that bares absolutely no resemblance to that particular collection of tropes either in the show or in our fandom.

But ok! I’ll bite, since you clearly want so badly to be educated and evidently don’t have the time to watch the show yourself, nor the reading comprehension necessary to understand the sort of media analysis that goes on in a lot of atla and zutara-focused meta in this fandom.

Which probably means that anything I write here will fly right over your head, but oh well, what can you do?

At any rate, the first mistake you’ve made here is assuming that I (or zutara shippers in general, but since you came into my inbox, I’m going to be taking this just as personally as you clearly intended me to) interpret Katara’s aggression towards Zuko as romantic at any point in the series prior to their reconciliation (after which point, there is no aggression from Katara aimed at Zuko for anyone, me included, to interpret romantically in the first place). I don’t, and I never have, and neither does a vast majority of the zutara fandom in the spaces I frequent (which encompasses tumblr, occasionally twitter, and the very large zutara discord server I’ve been an active part of for two years now). Pointing out oddly suggestive tension in early parts of the series (such as the “I’ll save you from the pirates” and “you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun” lines, or the fact that Zuko wore Katara’s necklace around his wrist for like nine episodes when there was absolutely no need for it) is just that--pointing out tension.

There doesn’t need to be feelings for there to be tension, antagonistic or otherwise, but that tension is the foundation from which their relationship arc throughout the series grew, developed, and eventually evolved. This is what is generally known as relationship development, and it occurs when two characters go from having one kind of relationship to another within the course of the story.

For example, enemies, who become friends, who become lovers.

Now, your mileage may vary on this next part (although I really hope not, cause Y I K E S), but I, personally, think that ‘if a boy kisses you without your consent, but he really really loves you, then you owe it to him to love him back, especially if he just saved the world, and you should never expect an apology because since you suddenly decided you return those feelings, that means the violation of your boundaries was ok since clearly you really liked him all along’ is a much more damaging message to send to young girls--and boys, to be frank, especially since learning about consent is hugely important at young ages--than ‘if a boy who was your enemy goes to great lengths to better himself, to the point where you forgive him for when he hurt you and become close friends with him, then it’s normal for those feelings to grow and change, even to the point of becoming romantic, and it’s ok to explore them’.

And guess which one of those is canon to the AtLA finale?

Next, you say ‘Katara hated Zuko for a valid reason’ as if that was ever in dispute. It wasn’t--certainly not on my blog. I know there are some people who hate Katara because she was ‘too mean’ to Zuko, but I don’t agree with them, nor do I associate with them, since I have no time, energy, or room in my life for Katara slander. However, do you know what the operative word is in that sentence? Hated. As in past tense. As in, ‘Katara used to hate Zuko, but by the end of the show that is no longer the case, and they are extremely close friends with a deep bond and multiple life-debts between them’.

Why are you so insistent on not only denying Zuko’s hard-earned and bitterly fought for redemption, but also Katara’s emotions and feelings, which you end this weirdly disjointed ask by insisting they be taken at face value?

And it’s actually really funny (ironic funny, not so much ‘ha ha’ funny) that you use the word ‘confused’ there, followed by the phrase ‘denying her real feelings’, and then call that ‘sexist and degrading’, as if that isn’t exactly what happened in Katara’s canon endgame in the show.

She said point blank that she was confused, she showed with her words, tone, and body language that she was not open to Aang’s romantic advances, she had completely forgotten about the last time he’d kissed her without her consent, rather than reflecting on her romantic feelings as one would expect of a girl who’d been kissed by someone we’re supposed to believe she’s had feelings for since book 1, and was completely taken aback by Aang’s reaction to the play and his weird believe that they ‘were gonna be together’, when she had never once indicated that she wanted to be with him in any romantic sense. And yet, he kissed her--and while she got angry about it and stormed off in the moment, he never apologized for crossing her boundaries, and they also didn’t have a single significant scene together between that moment and the epilogue.

What happened to taking Katara’s emotions at face value? What happened to how ‘sexist and degrading’ it is to assume that if a girl says she’s confused, that must mean she’s ‘denying her feelings’? What happened to caring about Katara’s agency, even a little bit?

Anyway, I’m gonna wrap this up by saying: I do not believe Zuko and Katara should’ve been making out in the finale instead. I actually hate the fact that the final shot of AtLA was a romantic kiss (particularly for such a poorly written pairing), rather than a shot of the gaang together like it should have been to show what the series was meant to be about. I think that focusing on the romantic relationships in the finale undercut an already weak ending to an otherwise great (not perfect, but certainly good enough that it deserved much better closure) show.

That said, I also think a Zutara kiss would have been more earned, at that point in both of their narratives. Because Katara’s feelings had been the focus of their relationship throughout its entirety. Zuko’s feelings mattered, too, of course, (in stark contrast to how they were treated during his relationship with Mai), but Katara was the one who got to choose when and why and what she felt about him. She got to choose when to forgive him. She got to choose to help him, and to save his life, and her emotions were frequently the focus in a way they never were during her relationship with Aang, so nudging those into a more romantic light not only would have fit better with her character arc, it also would have been far less jarring to see that as the culmination of their respective storylines, rather than a romantic kiss coming out of nowhere when her very last scene with him was being kissed without her consent and storming off about it because it upset her.

My most fervent hope, anon, is that some day you actually watch the show, Avatar: the Last Airbender. Because Katara and Zuko are amazing characters, they have amazing storylines both separately and together, and it’s really a crime whenever someone misunderstands both of them so badly. I hope that when you do watch the show, you pay attention. You may see something amazing.

[brw]

rating random outfits from the vision because i am very bored

outfit one - classic look

[image id: two cropped panels of the vision from marvel comics. they are both wearing the same outfit, of a green bodysuit that covers every part of their body aside from the front of their face. with it, they wear yellow gloves, yellow boots and a knee-length cape which has a large flared collar. their torso is covered by yellow fabric which wraps around them like a corset. it ends at the top of their thighs. in the first image, they are faced to the left, with one leg raised and their cape floating around their shoulders. in the second image, they have she-hulk, thor & monica rambeau as captain marvel grouped behind them. they are facing forwards and gesturing towards the viewer with their hand. end id/]

- cape goes woosh

- literally the only thing showing is their face everything else is covered

- the collar is very dramatic and gay which i appreciate

- kinda wearing a corset thing? which is cool

- idk what's up with the diamond thing between their tits :/

- colour combo is atrocious but that's a staple of their style it seems lmao

- very out there, very dramatic

- you could probably wear something similar to a pride parade tbh just change the colours and you're good to go

- i like the gloves they look like the yellow ones you use to wash dishes in the sink with the scrubber thingy

final score - 7/10 bonus points for nostalgia & cape, its a very nice very classic look but also very modest :/ show some skin pls ur wife is basically wearing a swimsuit with gloves show a little solidarity :/

outfit two - boob window

[image id: a cropped comic cover of the vision from marvel comics. they are reaching upwards with one arm extended in an attempt to escape several grey hands reaching up to their hip trying to drag them down. their costume is one piece broken into three sections. the bottom half is green and goes slightly above their hips creating a large v-shape. the middle half is yellow and v-shaped as well. the top part reaches to their shoulders and the bottom part is to the middle of their chest, and extends all the way to their fingers. the base of the v is also the bottom of a diamond cut out revealing some of their skin in the pectoral area. the top of the diamond leads to the third and final part of the costume which is the same shade of green as the bottom. This part is a large collar, a head covering that wraps around all around their head but leaves the face uncovered, as well as a cape that is shredded at the bottom. end id/]

- very similar outfit with inverted colours and instead of adding a diamond they cut one out :)

- another wooshy cape :)

- still has their face covered all around except for the front tho :( like idk wouldn't that annoy you? what if it gets too tight or you get hot?

- i have no idea how their cape works with the diamond cleavage window thingy like?? did they just use superglue? please explain

- gloves are gone 😔

- and no more boots 😔😔😔

- corset gone why did they remove all the sexy parts the tiddy does not compensate 😔😔😔😔😔

final score - 3/10 it's basically just an inverted version of the last one except they took the Cool Sexy Bits away which makes everything boring :/ bonus points for the boob window thing though, shows the beginning of their Bimboification :)

outfit three - detective

[image id: a cropped comic cover of the vision from marvel comics. they are standing with one leg resting on something that is not in view. they are partially shadowed, and wear an intense, thoughtful expression. there is a cigarette hanging out of the side of their mouth. they look similar to a 1940s film noir character. they are wearing a white shirt that appears to be a button up, though the thickness of their tie that reaches down to their trousers obstructs any buttons. their sleeves are rolled up to around their elbows. their tie is somewhat loosened around their neck, and is white with black stripes in varying thickness. they wear a pair of thick white suspenders that connect to their trousers, which seem to be grey or a dull brown. they have one of their hands in their trouser pocket. under the same arm is a gun, though this is hard to make out in the darkness. they are also wearing a broad-rimmed fedora, which casts half their face in shadow with only their pupilless bright yellow eyes showing through. end id/]

- this ABSOLUTELY fucks

- unirionically sexy

- noir detective look very nice very cash money

- the loosened tie really just puts the whole thing together

- their face is free! no more awkward green pieces of plastic or whatever!

- calls pretty people "dames" for sure

- rolled up sleeves make me feel like a repressed victorian girl who's just begun to experiment with the Devil's Doorbell™

- smoking is bad for ur health but jesus if it isn't a vibe

- hat worn by reddit "nice guys" :/

final score - 9/10 this really is one hell of a look, very 1920s it absolutely slaps the suspenders are everything tbh if they were in a movie they'd probably be played by harrison ford idk why. anyway this ABSOLUTELY fucks and is one of my faves and is criminally underrated 🤗

outfit four - suit

[image id: two cropped panels of the vision from marvel comics. in both panels, they are wearing the same simple two-piece black suit, with a white shirt underneath their jacket. there are no buttons or pockets on their jacket, and everything seems to be perfectly ironed. their tie is long and thin, and is tight around their neck. their shoes are nondescript and black. in the first panel, vision is to the side, and is floating in the air. in the second panel, vision is standing and is facing the viewer, with their face slightly shadowed and their fists clenched at their sides. end id/]

- simple, cute, chic

- the thinness of the tie is a big change from the last one

- classic suit style, the most casual of formal wear

- office worker kind of thing but like. a FANCY office

- nondescript; no personality in it whatsoever :/

- makes them look like a conservative 😔

final score - 4/10 it's kinda boring tbh they look cute but :/ lame. shows them trying too hard to conform to humanity's standards and it is Not A Vibe. there's no Sauce & also appears in something written by t*m k*ng so the association is immediately off

outfit five - ultimates aka No Clothes Titty Out

[image id: a comic cover of the vision from marvel comics. this one is from the ultimates/1610-verse. this vision is more female-presenting then their 616 counterpart. they are not wearing any clothes. their body is golden and reflective and metallic. their body is comprised of different plates of metal, which are symmetric. just before their elbow, there is a gap in each arm between the metal plates so you can see the wires running through their arms underneath. there is a red diamond shape, still made of metal, in the area where a belly button would be on a human being. they have breasts that do not have any nipples, but have a large circle plating where the nipple would normally be. much like their 616 version they are bald with a yellow diamond in their forehead. their expression is difficult to read but they appear to be smiling slightly. their arms are raised around their head, not touching their skull but close to it. they are strutting towards the viewer with one hip jutted to the side. metal wires surround them, with none of them fully touching them aside from a thick one seemingly connected to the back of their neck. end id/]

- pussy out

- no clothes this bitch doesn't need them (but they do need titties for some reason??? bro????)

- red diamond thing to cover up the bellybutton? girl what are you hiding

- Gold And Shiny a nice change from our regularly scheduled red skin

- emulating aunt/sister/mother/whatever the fuck jocasta which is nice, it's about time vision got someone other then Fashion Disaster Wonder Man to help them out. i guess nudity is better then combining green and yellow all together with red skin jjshsheheh

- sexualised :/

- genuinely kinda hot tho i think i have succumbed to the Robot Tiddies 😔

- no idea how the physics of their hip/ass jutting out is supposed to work it looks like they dislocated something

final score - 6/10 it's cool but also why did u sexualised the android like i. also they are a robot and not a synthezoid which :( why. but u know i appreciate the pussy out kinda thing and ultimates verse vision dated sam wilson so they have good taste. points knocked off for being from the ultimates verse which is Bad™ imo

outfit six - This Fucking Thing What Is This I Hate It So Much

[image id: a cropped panel of the vision from marvel comics. they are facing the viewer with an angry expression. their fists are tightly clenched and are raised slightly. around their wrists are thick yellow spiked bracelets. their arms are uncovered. their shoulders are covered by yellow spiked shoulderpads. they are wearing a green bodysuit with a bright yellow collar around their neck and a plunged neckline that goes all the way down their chest and torso until it is obstructed by yellow underwear, which is held up by a very thick yellow ring, which is also covered in spikes. their green bodysuit continues all the way down their legs until their boots, which are go up half-way around their calves and are folded over. they have a yellow diamond stuck in the middle of their chest. they are also wearing a green helmet that is green and corinthian (greek) in style. it is also spiked. the spikes at either side of the faceplate are small and yellow. the one at the top of the helmet is the same shade of green as the helmet itself. end id/]

- why

- it's. it's so ugly

- what's with the fucking spikes

- the boots are horrendous

- helmet looks they bought it at a museum for £15 and its made out of cheap shitty poorly made and badly painted plastic

- why did they glue a yellow diamond to their chest what is the fucking point

- porcupine energy

- the shoulder pads why the fucking shoulder pads disco isn't coming back just accept it

- spike belt underwear????? why??????????? looks like they made one of those chokers huge and called it a day

- it's just. it's just so ugly. why would you think this was a good idea who is responsible

final score - 0/10 i do not want to see it

[simpbur]

hello! i would like ur 40 song wiblur playlist

anon thank you so much for asking <333 while it would’ve been easier to just drop the link i have so many thoughts about everything so i explained why every single song has its spot on this list which was IMMENSELY fun for me

(also: if anyone does want the link i can provide both apple music and spotify but if u would like the apple music link i’d rather it be through dms or an ask off anon that i can make private!)

another also: i bolded all the songs for ease of perusing if you don’t want the director’s commentary and bolded + italicized the ones that i think fit Very Well

another another also: wrote the second bit of this on my laptop and the keyboard is p funky so if there are any typos or things that do not make sense i will try to fix them asap haha

saint bernard by lincoln: this is one of those like. Dream SMP Songs that i added because it fits into so many different relationships and plot lines and arcs but i think there’s some connection to c!wlbur somewhere out there. idk i asked my friend and he said to add it so this one goes out to him

amnesia was her name by lemon demon: ghostbur song ghostbur song! mostly comes from this lovely animatic

o valencia! by the decemberists: okay this is one of those songs that only really has one lyric that fits but is an absolutely banger so it’s here anyway. you’ll also notice a trend of quasi love songs that i relate to c!wilbur’s perception of l’manburg and i think this song shows this in a really cool way, esp with the chorus (‘and i swear to the stars i’ll burn this whole city down’ is The Line)

achilles come down by gang of youths: another one of those Dream SMP Songs. i think this fits better with c!tommy but i like it too much to remove it. this is a somewhat common trend with the earlier songs on this playlist (i’ve been building this thing since january, for reference)

brave as a noun by ajj: another Dream SMP Song. i think certain verses fit better than others when it comes to wilbur’s character but that ones that work really work

harness your hopes by pavement: a song that is one here for vibes alone. i have no idea what these lyrics mean. all i know is that i heard it, thought of c!wilbur, and put it on the playlist. thank you all for being here

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn: sad-ist made this a tommy and tubbo song (as she should) so it’s validity on this playlist is questionable but folks used to compare it to wilbur and tommy’s relationship during the pogtopia arc and i think some points were made there

the execution of all things by rilo kiley: i’m so excited to get here because this was the first song i put on the playlist that i think really works and i thumb nailed an animatic for the last verse and november 16th so! i think it’s a good l’manburg song and the last verse has some good ghostbur lines (‘and lately you’re all alone with nothing left but sleep/but sleep never comes to you, it’s the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak’)

i’m just your problem from adventure time: this ones a bit tricky since at is my favorite show of all time and i cannot detach this song from its in-show context very well but there is a very cool animatic with this song that landed it a spot on the playlist

man burning by josh ritter: almost became an animatic but the audio i wanted to use (which i recorded at a josh ritter concert and it���s just him and his guitar and there’s echo and it’s very haunting and pretty) has my stepbrother singing in the background and i could not edit it out so. that will probably not happen. but anyways the only hole i would pick in this song is that it’s mostly about self sabotage which isn’t really applicable but i think the imagery is cool

mamma mia by abba: here me out. here me out. this is another song that fits so well and i have spent so many hours thinking about this and somewhere there is a note on my phone explaining how every single line relates to c!wilbur’s entire arc from founding l’manburg to the resurrection (made when we thought gbur was going to get resurrected in january) and just. the metaphorical ‘you’ is l’manburg does this make any sense (another almost animatic except now that wilbur’s actually back it might become an actual animatic)

the other side of paradise by glass animals: no idea why this is here other than being a Dream SMP Song. it’s good tho

infinitesimal by mother mother: they saaaaay it stared with a big bang but they saaaaaaaay it came out of a small thing latelyyyyy i’ve been feeling like a big bang You Know

curses by the crane wives: had a thing drawn out for this song showing the comparisons between c!wilbur and c!niki because of the chorus and i think the last two lyrics of said chorus are the best thing about this one

lonely eyes by the front bottoms: gotta admit that i have no idea how this song got on here but i’ve come to associate it with ghostbur based on vibes alone. it’s a friendly song he’s a friendly ghost it works. the other tfb song coming up fits a bit better methinks

king of new orleans by better than ezra: not to put better than ezra on my c!wilbur playlist but like. something about the whole ‘tasing something up to let it fall’ motif makes me think

get me away from here, i’m dying by belle and sebastian: another almost animatic song (there’s a trend here). not only does the story told in this song work i like the lines ‘play me a song to set me free/nobody writes them like they used to so it may as well be me’ in relation to my l’manburg

montgomery forever by the front bottoms: certain bits and pieces of this song fit so well, specifically the chorus and those bits in the last two choruses Yeah (’montgomery forever and ever and ever and now they’re blowing it up/(x2)/as you started laughing and crying and trying to explain how all you want to do is leave’)

don’t look back in anger by oasis: out of all my almost animatic songs, this one got the furthest. the animatic, which I got pretty far in thumbnailing, was about wilbur and tommy and kind of drawing comparisons between their characters, also about the revolution in general. maybe i’ll finish that animatic one day idk 

snow by ricky montgomery: i wish i had a link for this so bad but!! saw art on twitter!! with the lyric ‘bury me six feet in snow’!! and went ahfsdjfk!!

burning pile by mother mother: a Dream SMP Song. also a jam there’s no real specific connection for this one but i think it could fit in a couple of ways

rounds by the oh hellos: in the same position as snow except it was on tumblr..... @ whoever made this comic i saw these lyrics in your brain is massive and your art is incredible

lovely by mt. eddy: on here for vibes alone. there’s something in the lyrical content too, but my thoughts in that regard are not very fleshed out

adventures in solitude by the new pornographers: ah yes..... the song that prompted this all...... this is a beautiful and incredibly well written song and if you’re going to listen to any song off of this playlist i’d encourage you to listen to this one. it’s place of here is mostly cause of the chorus but the imagery in the verses could all represent a part of c!wilbur and i’d love to explore that more

caught in the middle by paramore: obligatory paramore song. i think it got on here because limbo = ‘middle’ but i’m not quite sure. on the verge of being deleted if i can find a better pmore song

delicate by damien rice: one of the oddest songs on this list and i am well aware that it sticks out like a sore thumb. a song that’s on here pretty much because of one lyric, which is ‘and why’d you sing hallelujah/if it means nothing to you’ which i related to both eret’s betrayal and how my l’manburg is hallelujah yknow

bang! by ajr: almost animatic song. i think we all know what the bang is here

somewhere only we know by lily allen: ik i said don’t look back in anger has the most potential to get made into an animatic but this song might actually take it place. on par with adventures in solitude in terms of how pretty of a song it is, and probably even moreso. it’s kind of turned into a ghostbur song in my head, and makes me cry like an infant child every time i hear it

a pearl by mitski: i cannot defend this song’s place on here past the line ‘it’s just that i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended’

eight by sleeping at last: the official c!wilbur song needs a spot on here <3 if i can dig up the clip of cc!wilbur talking about this song in relation to his character i’ll add it but until then yeah <3

always by rilo kiley: no idea why this is on here but it fits well!! could not tell you why!! banger!!

celebration guns by stars: it’s a hauntingly beautiful song about war, and kind of one of those that necessarily isn’t about wilbur but moreso his place in the story? idk how to explain it but yes

passerine by the oh hellos: it’s. it’s from the . the fic. yeah h

oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place by bright eyes: added this after the real resurrection and i think it’s because fo the imagery? also the last verse

we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos!: all i have to say is ‘i cannot emphasize enough that my body/is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel/harboring these diminishing, so called vital organs/i hope my heart goes first, i hope my heart goes first!’ has always made me think of pogtopia era wilbur :(

dead weight by jack stauber: no real connection other than eret played this song during a break during the ghostbur’s january ‘resurrection’ and i heard it and went :0

point me at lost lands by tired pony: gives me season on l’manburg vibes..... i love how free and passionate it sounds and that's p much the only reason it’s on this list haha

ghosting by mother mother: added this five seconds ago because i could not BELIEVE it was not on here. ghostbur song. mans sang it on that one stream with the reverb and everything. the lyrics ‘i will be kind and i’ll be sweet/if you stop staring straight through me’ hit particularly hard back when everyone thought that ghostbur was actually wilbur in disguise 

[swansstuff]

So uh, I've been thinking about a hypothetical Trucy Wright: Act Attorney and here is the very poorly written outline for it because yeah. No spoilers except the Apollo Trucy thing. Tw death, murder, blood and grieving so yeah.

Trucy's first case is literally her first ever case. This is a flashback case. We follow her as she wakes up, slightly stressed about today, Phoenix gives her cereal and a pep talk and a cryptic message. Trucy asks where Papa is, it is Miles, they are married. Phoenix is cryptic about that too. He stays behind as he "has to buy groceries" so Trucy heads into the office. Apollo greets her, it's clear they know they're siblings, and he hands her a case. Miles is prosecuting. She is fucking terrified. She goes to the crime scene, Gumshoe is the detective and he's educating his teenage sons, constant confusion of who's who, because they are twins and they look very like Gumshoe, it'll be kinda funny. Its a simple investigation. During the investigation, the player can check Trucy's profile and the profile system shows character's middle names now. We get some gems such as Klavier Hyacintha Gavin later on, the reasoning behind this is coz Trucy is nosy. The important one here is Trucy Mia Wright. She says something about how she chose her own middle name when Phoenix adopted her and she chose Mia after learning about her. Yada yada. Trucy wins the case. Edgeworth is very proud, Phoenix is in the gallery and there's a flash of him crying proud tears, Apollo hugs her afterwards, Athena congrats her.

Next case, flash forward three years later, we do not see Phoenix and nobody really mentions him. Thats because he's fucking dead but we don't know that yet. This case is a Fey case, we meet Maya who is married to Franziska and they're technically on honeymoon in Kurain and Pearl becomes the Maya to Trucy's Phoenix. Its another fey murder case. There are a few mentions of Trucy's admiration of Mia, mainly just a mirror of a few lines she's said and a conversation where her and Maya talk about her, Trucy says she would have loved to meet her and Maya explains how her spirit has been dormant for ages now and how she assumes she's moved on.

"If you want I can try and channel-"

"No no no no NO. Its ok!"

This is our first hint that Phoenix is no longer with us, but we don't know until later thats what she means. Sebastian is the prosecutor, the player finds out that Miles is taking a break from prosecuting work, Trucy already knew of course, and Sebastian is dubbed Chief until he comes back, Fran says

"It would've been me were I not on my literal honeymoon right now." We are not told why yet, but it is because of Phoenix. Kay Faraday is the detective, somebody murders someone and frames Maya, no-one is shocked by this. We also get an update on Iris, she's thriving. She wins yada yada.

Next case, a couple of months later, Trucy gets a call from a friend that the player can't identify at first. Its Katrielle Layton. She needs Trucy's legal knowledge because someone is sueing her detective agency because have you seen how they practice. This, of course, turns to murder and we get another surprise when we meet the prosecutor. Who probably has a licence to practise law in England? Simon Blackquill, he is British ok. Yeah, Trucy wins with Kat's help, we meet Ernest and Sherl and Alfendi and Flora if we have time. I miss them. Trucy and Kat have a conversation that cryptically addresses their fathers and their "whereabouts" and living up to their legacy. We see Trucy cry, but only a similar flash to AJ:AA and we do not know why. Yet.

Next case, flashback case. Trucy is the assistant on this case but we still play as her, even in the court sections since Phoenix is prepping her for the bar and getting her to give him the answers. The bar exam is only in three days. Klavier is prosecuting. The case somehow relates to Kristoph and there's the whole mirror dynamic thing of when Phoenix lost his badge. Kristoph is dead by now, but the whole thing is there was a plot inside prison to make Phoenix pay for putting a bunch of them in, Kristoph was the assumed ring leader until he died and the cops now dont know who's running it. Somebody (Godot? That would hurt big time) was their inside man, sent to figure that out, so when whoever it was turned up dead, the whole thing got exposed. We get a bit of a Mia moment in the trial where Trucy tells Phoenix to flip over the receipt (thats evidence for some reason). Phoenix says "I feel like that shouldn't be the second time someone has said that to me". The killer is found, by Phoenix, and put into isolation, as have most of the other participants. We then see Trucy get her badge. They have a conversation and Trucy says Phoenix basically forgot about it for a couple of months. The case closes with a foreboding "and I forgot about it too, until..."

Next case. Phoenix is fucking murdered. Trucy gets a phone call late at night, she hears laboured breathing on the other end and a "don't forget I love you" from Phoenix. Trucy pulls a simba and goes "dad? Dad?!!" And the line goes dead. The player is presented with a choice of who to call. They have two phone calls. Who they choose first makes no difference, but the second time they are forced to choose Ema who will trace Phoenix's phone call. They could call Apollo and he would comfort her, Miles would panic, Maya would say he was just messing around, Athena would sense her distress and say she's coming over etc. You could attempt to call Phoenix back but he would not answer and you would be allowed to call someone else. Ema then traces the phone call and we follow Trucy to the crime scene. We get a truly haunting cutscene where everything kinda goes blurry except Phoenix's face and the blood. Trucy doesn't cry. She stands there in shock. The WAA is there in various states of shock and upset. Return of grieving Apollo I guess. Miles turns up and the look on his face is haunting. Trucy and him make eye contact and they share the thought of something has to be done. And then. "The bar association took me off the case and Papa too, they said we were too close to it. As a result, we never found out who did it... Until now." And we see a determined Trucy face. We jump forward to where we last saw Trucy, she and Pearl are coming back from England and its a bit more cheery. Trucy sends Pearl on a train back to Kurain and heads on home. She enters the house and we see Miles pouring over Phoenix's case. He jumps up and runs towards her.

"Trucy! I think I have a lead, I-"

"Papa, you're tired, go to bed." (Or better dialogue along those lines)

Its clear he's been doing this sort of thing a lot.

"But I do! At least...I think I do..."

He trails off and rests his head in his hands.

"Do I? Or am I just a mess?"

Trucy gives him a sad smile.

"C'mon let's go to bed."

Miles returns the sad smile and fades out like all ace attorney characters do. The player is given the option to look around. There's probably some emotional dialogue and bits that give clues to how she and Miles have been fairing the past 3 years. Answer is, not very well. Examine the pile of papers on the table. Trucy will take a look and then realise her papa may have actually been onto something. Its a diagram of which prisoners knew each other, with an arrow from each leading to a defense attorney we have never met. Trucy is confused, but she calls for Miles anyway. He comes back downstairs and Trucy asks him about this lead he found.

"Well I realised all those prisoners would know this defense attorney (insert name?)"

"Why? And why would they be suspicious?'

"They (pronouns?) Were always the defense attorney who would take on the cases of those Wright had already accused. They gained a reputation of being the doomed defense attorney."

"So... They knew all the prisoners in the plot and they had a grudge against daddy... Papa I think you're onto something!"

And the case continues, since we already know who's been accused, it plays out more like an investigations game, Trucy has to prove it, with Miles' help of course, literally every other character we know and love plays a part in making sure this guy gets a guilty verdict. There is still a courtroom bit and a moment when all is looking dark, Trucy literally has a full on breakdown as the Judge threatens to remove her from the case again. Miles is by her side, they're both technically prosecution here i guess. Miles, however, is too deep in his own mental breakdown to help. Everyone else is in the gallery besides Pearl. Pearl channels Phoenix as a last hope sort of thing. Phoenix comforts her and tells her to keep fighting, he touches her badge and probably says some sort of bullshit about it. The Judge is about to bang the gavel when Trucy and Phoenix object at the same time. Miles looks up and realises whats going on and he objects too, a little later. The battle goes on until it finishes and the other attorney has a breakdown that steals little bits from every other murderer Phoenix has put behind bars.This is the one time seeing the word guilty on your screen feels good. There's a whole heartwarming celebration at the end, Phoenix sticks around for a little bit and everyone gets a bit of closure. Its assumed he's gone since Pearl passes out and Trucy dips out for a sec. She's away from the festivities, staring at the badge in her hand and we see someone coming up behind her. Maya is channelling Phoenix now. He gives Trucy a hug and utters the words "the only time a lawyer can cry is when its all over and, Trucy darling, my light, its over." Echoing both Diego and Mia.

And the screen fades to black with a final hug between father and daughter.

:)

[storyunrelated]

Thought of you

One of the things I rather like about, you know, older storytelling and myths and the like - and this is just my incredibly uninformed opinion so I’m probably wrong and I’m sure someone is around to tell me so - is that while nowadays people get quite het up over “Well according to this source this thing is X, Y, Z” while in ye olden days it seemed more like “Well I want to tell this story and people know this hero and this monster so I’m just going to use them however the fuck I want to make the point I want to make.”

Again, I’m probably well clear of the mark on that one, but that’s always how it felt to me. Certainly I much prefer the idea of a churning sea of stories rather than a po-faced OBEY THE RULES THIS IS ALL CODIFIED humourlessness.

But I would.

Anyway, all that aside, under the cut is about a thousand words about a young man buying a t-shirt for a friend of his who is a gorgon, his doubts about this gift and him going to his two witch friends for moral support.

Not that you are going to read it.

-

Kipper entered, holding a bag.

“I got something I wanted to run past you two,” he said, and though he was more-or-less his usual overwhelmingly cheerful self, there was today the tiniest hint or edge of trepidation.

Not that Bef noticed. She was too busy doing whatever it was she was doing, something involving a large, old, hefty book, having both hands placed on this large, old, hefty book and mouthing to herself while having her eyes closed. Tulip noticed though, because she was just leafing through a recipe book and so was better able to look up when he entered.

Witches, it should be said, spent a lot of time with books. It rather went with the territory.

“Oh? What?” Tulip asked, eyes dropping to the bag. It was a beaten-up, much-used bag from a supermarket, so gave no hint as to its contents. Kipper pulled up a chair and joined the two at the table, laying the bag in front of him.

“You know my friend Grace?” He asked.

“Grace the gorgon?” Tulip asked, not really able to come up with any other Graces Kipper might be friends with off the top of her head. Also the alliteration just made Grace the gorgon pop into her head, as alliteration was wont to do. Kipper nodded.

“Yes, her,” he said. Tulip shifted in her seat just a little bit.

“What about her?”

Tulip had never heard anything other than good things about Grace and Kipper was indeed free to associate with and make friends with whoever he wanted (he was rather good at it, blithe spirit that he was) but there was still something that made her a little nervous whenever Grace was brought up.

Kipper hadn’t been turned to stone yet, but it was still a risk that all those who interacted with gorgons were up against, and it usually, eventually happened at least once, even with the precautions everyone involved took. Accidents happen, after all, regardless of how hard you remember to avoid eye-contact and regardless of those very nifty mirrored glasses most gorgons had taken to wearing. These things just happened.

Of course, getting turned to stone was more of an inconvenience these days than anything else and getting it reversed wasn’t hard, but it was still a faff most could do without. 

That, and apparently getting turned to stone was also excruciating, so who’d want to go through that? And, equally, who’d want to know that they’d put someone through that? And who’d want to know that their friend had had to watch someone they like turn to stone and know it was their fault? And so on?

All in all something of a minefield, and Tulip was just the worrying sort. Kipper was only human! Anything could happen to him if he wasn’t careful! They were just so delicate!

Kipper himself, by contrast, was not (usually) the worrying sort, and now that he’d established who he had in mind he pulled from his carrier bag a t-shirt and unfolded it and held it up so that Tulip could see.

“I saw this and I thought of her. Think the size is about right but, uh, you don’t think she’ll be offended, do you?” He asked, trepidation peaking.

The t-shirt - which was not not of high quality, this much was obvious - was a simple, poorly-shaped, white affair with the following words written across the chest:

“My eyes are up here. Please do not look at them.”

And that was that. Tulip stared at it, momentarily at a loss. From across the table there came a snort.

“She’s a gorgon, right? That’s fucking great, I like that,” Bef said, chuckling to herself, flipping a few pages forward in her massive book and laying her hands on it again and returning to mouthing with her eyes closed - that being her input and her not feeling any more was required.

“Um,” Tulip said, swallowing. “Well, you know her better than I do, Kipper, so I couldn’t really say…”

Kipper turned the t-shirt around so it was facing him and he frowned. He already knew what it said, of course, but felt that maybe having it right in front of him would perhaps help him settle matters in his own head. It did not.

“She’s cool and I’m pretty sure she’ll get it, that’s why I bought it when I saw it. But afterwards I thought what happens if she takes it the wrong way somehow, you know? What if it’s something she’s sensitive about? I mean, it’s never come up, but what if this catches her on a bad day? It’s just meant to be a joke,” he said with mounting forlorn-ness, aware that many deeply hurtful things often started out as entirely well-meaning jokes.

These sorts of doubts were insidious, and tended to grow roots into whatever cracks they could find. Here, they found Kipper’s intense desire not to make someone he was fond of unhappy. There’s always a crack somewhere.

(Though they’d probably struggle, seeing as how she’d deny cracks existed anywhere, least of all on her, but that was another matter for another time.)

“Also,” Kipper continued, his frown deepening. “Is this going to make her think I’m staring at her chest? Oh I didn’t even think about that! That’s worse!”

Reaching over Tulip put a hand delicately onto Kipper’s wrist, getting him to lower the t-shirt down and then giving him a friendly, reassuring pat accompanied by a friendly, reassuring smile. Tulip was quite good at these. The key, she’d found, was sincerity.

“If your first thought when you saw it was that she’d like it, then you should go with that. Even if it’s not her sort of thing I’m sure Grace’ll appreciate the thought behind it,” she said, and Kipper considered this. His frown melted.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah! It’s the thought that counts, right? And Grace is cool, she’ll get it. Ah, what was I even worried about? You guys are great! Thanks, Tulip. And Bef - you helped too.”

Debatable, but not in Kipper’s mind.

Stuffing the t-shirt back into its bag he leapt to his feet, gave the others each a brief hug (much to Bef’s chagrin, as she was trying to concentrate on the ineffable interconnectedness of all things) and left at speed, presumably in the direction of Grace.

Later - some days later - he delightedly showed Tulip a picture he had been sent.

It showed a gorgon (Grace, Kipper informed Tulip) wearing the t-shirt, her face displaying the most honest delight imaginable. She was also giving a double thumbs-up, the message that had come with the picture reading:

“Who’s got two thumbs and a dope shirt? This lady.”

Her glasses were cool too, Kipper was quick to point out, though whether they were truly required for a photo was something of an ongoing point of debate. Still, better safe than sorry and, as mentioned, they were very cool.

All in all it worked out positively.

[starfleetdoesntfirefirst]

Popping back into disco fandom after a busy week and decided to give my incomprehensible meta from earlier this week a reblog; however, discovered that this webbed site hid it and realized that, despite my scrupulously including no links, it very likely was hidden because of my tongue-in-cheek use of a certain phrase, so decided to just repost instead sans webbed site phrase. Anyway, 

Thinking about the degree to which Cpt. Georgiou’s story is about kindness and integrity, and the degree to which that means that (long before the events of later in the season make this incredibly explicit) it is therefore about the enemy within.

Like any self-respecting Star Trek captain fangirl, I have firm opinions on Georgiou’s Coolest Moments, Most Underrated Qualities, etc. The moment that beats out of a hell of a lot of Cool Underrated Moments/Qualities to reach second-place, extremely-close-to-first place for me is the moment when she tells Burnham that retreat is not an option not only because they’re in Federation space but also because they are the only line of defense for the space station and the Andorian colony behind them.

It’s not really a quotable-quote, but to me, it’s one of her most awesome moments, because it’s what makes much of the rest of the pilot episodes an awesome story about a captain and her crew looking out for innocent people, rather than about a captain risking and ultimately losing her ship and multiple members of her crew for the sake of space!diplomatic posturing.

But my first-place Underrated Georgiou Moment is the one that it’s tempting to call that moment’s inverse: We don’t start shooting on a hunch, and we don’t take innocent lives, period.

Georgiou looks out for the people on the base behind her, and she looks out for people in the starship confronting hers, which is only the inverse of looking out for innocent people if you’re willing to stake their lives on the assumption that they are not innocent.

<food/diet talk> I once read an advice column where someone had written in to say that they wanted to eat more ‘healthy food,’ but that fast and processed food was faster, cheaper, and better-tasting. The advice columnist began their response with Well, you’re right–fast food is faster, cheaper, and better-tasting! At the time, having grown up with years of war-on-obesity type messages about how home-cooked fresh-vegetable-based meals were in fact Faster and Cheaper and More Delicious than fast food, I clutched my pearls at this.

What the advice columnist said was, of course, in many contexts, correct. We tell our children that fresh food is always cheap and easy to prepare and will save them, </food/diet talk> and that kindness feels good and pleasant and makes their lives better, and sometimes it does, but sometimes it’s brutal and painful and entirely capable of making things worse. I think one reason I find Georgiou’s Trek Captain StoryTM comforting is because of the way her story as a whole makes me feel less alone in not necessarily associating acting with kindness with feelings of softness or pleasure or fulfillment.

Acting with kindness is so often swallowing a grenade; wrapping your arms around it. Matter can’t be created or destroyed and even in the movies whose directors haven’t seen the Mythbusters episode about how jumping on a grenade probably wouldn’t work anyway, you can’t put the pin back into it. The pain has to go somewhere.

Kindness and integrity are about shouldering the pain–even though you don’t deserve it; even though the very act of taking the pain onto yourself not only hurts you but also might in turn hurt someone else. Or, sometimes, kindness and integrity and supporting someone else are about finding a way to offload some of the weight onto another, different someone-else who doesn’t deserve the pain either but maybe, in this moment, is more capable of shouldering it than the person you’re looking out for would be. Kindness is entirely capable of wounding its practitioners, or, to paraphrase Seven of Nine: It’s hopeless and pointless and exhausting, and the only thing worse would be giving up.

Despite all those poems about women being wolves (the idea of wolves), and letting our teeth drip with blood and thorns grow from our hair, much of the time the person in the path of our aching teeth is not the person who deserves to cut by them. Have you ever wished someone, a good person!, ‘Good morning,’ and gotten a perhaps-justified glare from their exhaustion-smudged eyes? Because they’re in such a bad mood, because they’re in so much pain, because of course they would have glared at anyone who spoke to them? Except that, of course, it turns out they were quite capable of warmly greeting their boss or their lover or the more valued–and less visibly disabled–person who walks into the room after you. Even justified rage and pain and desire, when released indiscriminately, often do discriminate.

Near the end of Discovery Season 1, I remember reading a review that encapsulated Mirror Georgiou as being mirror-universe-evil but also a better strategist than Prime Georgiou, because she was quicker on the uptake than Prime Georgiou had been when Burnham spoke with each of them, respectively, about the current relevant threats. But deciding who is better at threat assessment necessitates defining what is a threat.

There’s a piece of fan art I’ve always wanted to paint if a) I had significantly greater art skill, b) I had the literal weeks it would take to paint a multi-panel art piece, and c) art on the theme of ‘person protecting someone else with their body’ didn’t inevitably come across looking like the “this is so sad” poorly-scaled soldier protecting cartoon toddler meme: Captain Georgiou and a small Shenzhou, a la all those sick Janeway-chilling-with-small-floating-Voyager-in-space artworks, standing in space with the space station behind her and the Klingon fleet in front of her. She is protecting the space station behind her from war; in subsequent panels, the viewpoint revolves around her and the little Shenzhou, and the images behind her shift to show the people we know and love on the Discovery–Culber and Stamets kissing; Burnham and Stamets releasing the tardigrade back into space; everything we recognize from ST:DSC’s Federation as innocent and loveable and worth protecting.

But as we circle back around to the same viewpoint again, the images shift. Instead of the Klingon fleet in front of Georgiou and the Shenzhou, we see the innocent people living their lives on Qo’noS; behind her, we see Mirror Georgiou bombing the rebel base; Mirror Georgiou preparing to execute Burnham; Cornwell and Sarek working with Mirror Georgiou to destroy Qo’noS; Qo’noS exploding into fiery nothingness. Is Prime Georgiou defending what is behind her from what is in front of her, or holding back what is behind her to protect the rest of the universe?

What is a Star Trek captain’s coolest #Underrated Moment?

Would Captain Georgiou have been able to effect more net positive good in the universe if she’d been just a bit more ruthless, a bit less Captain Kirk and a bit more Chrisjen Avasarala from The Expanse, and had elbowed her way up in the ranks to become an admiral by the time of the war? Maybe! To quote another advice column: “Should” Éowyn have stayed behind in Edoras to be Queen? Probably.

(Because that one’s a complimentary quote and Tumblr will hide the post if I link: “Commander Logic tells you how to get unstuck,” captain awkward dot com, which I do not endorse entirely as an advice site but which definitely has its moments.)

But then, of course, there’s no woman-Hobbit tag team to kill the Witch-King of Angmar (who is most definitely not Innocent People), and then maybe Admiral Georgiou helps create a better Federation that flawlessly averts the war in the first place and buys all of its citizens a new puppy, or maybe a Georgiou who would make the choice to ruthlessly cut her way to the top is, in fact, the Georgiou we meet at the end of Season 1 who made the choice to ruthlessly cut her way to the top and now stands there, using a mirrored Starfleet to control a mirrored universe.

Here is the story we got instead: Georgiou was a captain and not an admiral, and she didn’t avert a war, and she lectured Burnham like a child and was space-racist about Saru and didn’t even always wrap her own indiscriminate cruelty and pain and desire safely in her arms.

(And yes, I’ll always be disappointed that we didn’t get seven seasons of Captain Georgiou, or one season of Captain Georgiou and six season of Captain Burnham and background Admiral Georgiou, or… Prime Georgiou isn’t just comforting and hopeful and inspiring; she has flaws and impulsiveness and ruthlessness herself. What would it be like to see the story where she grows?)

But she did not start shooting on a hunch, and she did not take innocent lives. She put her own ruthlessness into the service of holding back what was behind her as much as facing down what was in front of her. She changed the people who she served with and captained, like every other cliched metaphor of ripples in a pond, and when Starfleet became the enemy within, and partnered with her own mirrored enemy within to try to kill millions of innocent adults and babies and children, it was the woman who had been the Shenzhou’s first officer who was the first to stand and say No, and the woman who had been the Shenzhou’s pilot who was the second.

I enjoyed seeing Mirror Georgiou stab Mirror Lorca as much as I enjoyed seeing Éowyn stab the Witch-King of Angmar. I don’t have a problem with the power part of power fantasy. But sometimes the Underrated Moment looks uncool. Sometimes the only way to act with integrity is to give something up rather than to Stand Up For Yourself The Way You Deserve, and the only way to look out for someone else hurts you in a way that is painful and awful and unfair. Even the most satisfying power fantasy is still a fantasy.

I would have preferred to see Lorca live and stand trial for crimes against humanity not for his sake but because a Terran Empire that condoned death as a consequence for failure is only a mirror to a Federation that condoned life in prison as a consequence for mutiny.

What do you see as Starfleet’s greatest threat?

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

Once

Oh boy, here we go with my drunken ramblings(this is me trying to coherently type for the second time cause i messed up and closed the tab after filling it in, the first time!!) But thanks for the ask Anon<3

my favorite female character

yes yes no prize for guessing it is Regina Mills. I liked her from the start, I tend to like dark, angsty characters anyway so it was a no brainer. She came across as a complete badass, getting shite done, tearing the very fabric of the universe in the name of revenge, oh such a drama queen, my teenage self lived for that , I say as if my adult self doesn't lol, but the thing is her rage spoke to me, her pain, I could feel it, her desire to destroy the people who wronged her felt like vindication to me. But what I related to more was her immense capacity to love, her love for her son was something so raw and pure, it absolutely blew my mind, and her desire to become someone worthy of her son's love, to become a better person, the hero that her son is so enamoured with, it helped to humanize her and helped her character to break free of the confines of the one note aspect of her initial arc. And Lana played it brilliantly imo, she did this character justice, even tho overall it was a shit show. And that is why this character still has such a hold over me, and has become so much more than canon could ever handle. I hope she continues to flourish in fanon, she was too good for the mediocrity that was OUAT anyway.

my favorite male character: 

eh all male characters are so poorly written in that show I don't think I ever care for any of them, other than Hen and even then he was reduced mostly to a plot device(I know so did the rest but hey ho).

my favorite book/season/etc: 

Season 1, the premise was interesting, it attracted me, I wanted to see what exactly was going to happen, how will they play with this fairytale characters trapped in our reality with no memories of their former selves, how will Emma break the curse, will she be able to break it, what will be the complications of undoing it, and they did touch it but failed abysmally to flesh it out and then they started pandering and it became a huge effing gimmick with no substance oh well.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show):

 Despite the stupidity that was in abundance with this show, I did like a couple of episodes from the later seasons but i have to give it to TSSV. As i was a talking about in my previous ask for HP, nostalgia plays a big role, memories u associate with certain things makes it more appealing, and TSSV was THE EPISODE for SQ fans like me, I mean i was here from day 1 shipping remma:P with all my 12 fellow shippers but TSSV kinda made it blow up. I live blogged that episode, I missed my classes for it lmaoo, I remember the hype around the almost kiss and when it actually happened in the show and all of us collectively lost our shite. We were coming from a two weeks break and the anticipation was HIGH AF, it was chaos, the good kind, I was flailing over Emma Swan's arms and getting emotional over Regina's haircut "FLICKY HAIR FEEL" TM, it was so silly but so much fun,it was the best time to be in the fandom, it was just great. Yeah so maybe some other SQ heavy episodes were probably bit more intense but my vote will always go to 1.05, "THE STILL SMALL VOICE" it is.

my favorite cast member: 

Don't have any, I used to like the cast but overtime I became quite indifferent to them so don't have a favourite.

my favorite ship:

 hahahahahah it's sad but it's also funny because like it's been what, 9 years, right?! and Swan Queen is still and always will be my OTP. It makes me so angry that my ship got stuck in such a shitshow, but also like it was such a good ship and I met some of my best mates because of it. And the fact that we still are so weak for those two idiots, I can't believe it and you see that's why I am so effing bitter about it, that they had such a good thing in their hand and they squandered it all, so much potential all wasted UGH!!! To sum it up this is how I feel about it

a character I’d die defending:

 Emma Swan, she never really has many people on her corner, it amazes me cause she was the protagonist and initially she was such a relatable character. She went through so much and she came out of the other side a pretty decent person who actually has a great capacity to forgive and I liked that about her, cause she would not lie down and take it, she would call you out on you bs but she would also be the first person to stand up for you if she believes in you, because she never had anyone doing that for her, so it was important to her that she gets to do that for the people she cared about. And then they destroyed it all and shoehorned her storyline with a self serving bastard and eventually wrote her off her own story like WTF. Emma Swan deserved better. And I for one can never forgive them for robbing and stripping her off her agency and butchering her entire characterization and reducing her to a ridiculous caricature, a shallow husk of her former self, fk them:/.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: 

okay we are going to step in the drama hmm. I don't feel like talking about the wooden mop and deplorable dunderhead because it leaves a bad taste but I really loathe those scenery chewing unnecessary lamps. 

a character I grew to love:

Probably Kathryn yeah she seemed like a good person trapped in a shitty situation who was trying to make the best of it, she was cool.

my anti otp: 

My favourite characters forced into terrible storylines with detestable Love Interests!

This is basically me raging about Once with a smattering of story time ugh I apologize for the ranting but it is what it is!!!

[mrsstampede]

So I have thoughts on tlou2 I need to get out.

I haven’t finished watching the game but i've seen enough to feel a certain way Spoiler warning for those who haven't finished the game.

I genuinely cannot understand the logic behind the sequence of the game. Joel is murdered by Abby about an hour into the game. We get to play Abby for a short amount of time before it happens but at no point during that time are we made to feel anything for her. It's far too short of a time for us to care about her. Yet ND expects us to later feel conflicted about her actions.

We’re not stupid. We understand why Abby wanted Joel dead. The thing is we as players/viewers have years of attachment to Joel. We have bonded with him and care for him. So them expecting us to care about his killer just because they show us her life before she killed Joel and force the player to play as her is ridiculous.

The players view and feelings for Abby are tainted an hour into the game.Then you play as Ellie getting revenge, which imo is fine, I personally have no problems with a revenge story. Anyway you go through all this shit with Ellie, you take out these people who want Ellie dead, even before she kills anyone btw. We see the people who helped kill Joel and they’re assholes. So once again we see them as villains. Why shouldn't I cheer Ellie on?(besides the obvious of the effects it take on Ellie and her life)

Again I get there motivations but like Ellie says at one point, they're out to kill anyone who shows up in there area, not even making sure people aren’t in need of help. They are not exactly coming off as the nicest. They come off as bad guys yet were later asked to see them as people who are just like Ellie. They were wronged by Joel and so they seek out revenge. Its simple but it really isnt that easy. Even if them being standoffish is logical in this world people will still always associate the bad guys as the ones who kill anyone without giving them a chance. 

How many villains become villains because of revenge and are simply bad guys. Giving them a motivation isnt enough to make them interesting and much less make them sympathetic. Of course it's needed and helps but it's not all you need to make a interesting grey character.

Joel himself is a good example of a character that is not strictly a good person. He kills a bunch of doctors to selfishly keep a girl he’s grown to love and see as a daughter alive. He makes choices that you can argue are wrong yet we sympathise with him. Through the progression of the game we learn to care for him so when we get to the ending we now understand Joel. We fully understand how fucked up it is but we also get where Joel is coming from. We know the fire he’s playing with. The choice he makes and the lie he now carries. The first game does a wonderful job of giving us a flawed morally grew character.

Tlou2 does not. It fails miserably. It tries to force and manipulate the player by making them play Abby. It tries to manipulate you with pregnant Mel parallelling Ellie’s pregnant girlfriend, Dina. Using lazy tactics like flashbacks showing Abby’s loving dad being a cool dad who rescues animals and is playful with his daughter. Yet Abby is such an uninspiring character. She just isnt likeable. You have to be able to like a character to be able to sympathize with them, Just showing me that her dad was great and loving, isnt enough. Showing me Mel was pregnant, Owen was struggling, Manny was caring about his friends isnt enough. Yes it's good that they are being humanized but it all feels far to late and fleeting (even though her playable time is so long and god damn boring ass hell).

ND tells us these people are humans just like Ellie. They are flawed just like Ellie. Don't you feel conflicted? Don't you feel for Abby, who lost her father? 

but frankly I dont feel anything for any of them. I feel for Ellie who lost her father figure. I feel for Ellie who slowly loses herself. I feel for Jesse who loved his ex and his best friend and didn't care they got together. I feel for Jesse who died before getting to see his child. I feel for Dina who never got to directly tell Jesse of her pregnancy. I feel for Dina’s unborn child. 

Its laugable that ND gave us Dina and Jesse yet thought we’d be feeling things for Owen and Abby who have sex when Mel is carrying Owens child. Am I supposed to feel bad for them because they didn't get together when they were younger? Am I supposed to feel bad for Abby when Ellie killed Mel, when Abby betrayed her herself? 

Abby and friends where always going to have a uphill battle to be seen as more than villains yet it feels like ND did the bare minimum to them likable.

I will never understand why they didn’t introduce us to these character first so we could get to know them before our view of them was stained by Joel’s death. The game can only be so long so I get not having a lot of time to make us care which is why im kinda baffled they even went this route. Not that its impossible to do.

Then there's Joel’s death. Boy oh boy was it so underwhelming. I felt sad but honestly it was fairly fast and I felt like I had no time to really feel much. One moment he’s being beaten the next we’re with Ellie then we find him and bam he's dead in a few more minutes. I'm not saying it should have been some long drawn out sequence but it all happens to fast. I would have liked to get reacquainted to him before he died. See him and Ellie together more again. It would have hit so much harder then. Instead we see him a two(?) times then he’s dead. That's it. The main character of the first game is done. 

I know how it ends and what happens but im waiting to see it to. I want to see it and see what my feelings are but i'm not excited. What i've read sounds dumb frankly but we'll see i guess. 

I dont even hate the game or the plot. Fuck im not even mad about Joel dying. Hell I dont think id even be mad about him dying so soon if he’d have died in a better written scene. I just genuinely think the way it happened was so poorly written. It all feels lazy and badly put together. It feels like they think we’re stupid and would just like dark zombie movie like game with morally grey villain. That just because Its part 2 of a beloved game we’d just eat it up. It feels like ND got cocky and thought they were master storytellers because TLOU was so beloved and raved about.

Idk man I just want Abby dead and we dont even get that :/

TLDR; Bad bland unlikable villains that are supposed to be morally grey and sympathetic, bad story sequence, poorly written death scene. Oh and god awful cringy sex scene. Don't hate it, dont like either.

[super-kristuff]

So like, I’ve been thinking about how it has been awhile since I have made a long vent post, but also, I’ve been trying to post less super negative rambling things. Like, I lowkey want to document my life, but I also don’t want that history to only show the negatives.

Anyway, this is the justification I’m making to publish my page long negative review of Armello here. Like, I just played it, and I went to the Steam page to leave a negative review when I realized I didn’t want the results of my criticisms to be centered around whether you should buy the game or not. The game has some really cool elements, and I wanted to ramble to figure out why those elements are all steaming hot garbage when they appear really cool when looked at individually. So anyhow, here goes.

So, backstory, I got Armello in the Humble Bundle Australian Charity event, so immediately, my perspective of the games value is completely independent of its cost. Like, did I spend a dollar on it? Did I buy Hollowknight and get Armello free? It doesn’t really matter. I can’t say whether it is a good purchase because in my mind I didn’t even buy it. I bought a box that it happened to be inside.

Anyway to talk about the game itself, the game starts with this little spiel about internet privacy. It’s not something I typically care about, but since the game brought it up, I thought it would be nice to select the game’s “always offline” mode. This means that none of my characters can level up. (I’ll explain that one in a bit.) It also means that there are TWO gentle glowing red lights to constantly remind me that I am in offline mode. One is to inform me that the multiplayer button on the main menu is deactivated, but the other is kind of just chilling in the corner in case I ever forget? I switched to online mode once I completed my first game, and I was notified that some of the experience I gained was lost to the Ether. Which meant that I was now not so pleasantly introduced to the game’s in game market place for micro transactions and scrolling ad-space for game DLC.

It’s honestly a real shame. I also received Assault Android Cactus from the bundle, and AAC handled collectibles so much better. Playing the game earned you an in-game currency that could be spend on concept art of the game or cheat-codes. It was satisfying because the game was fun. I wanted to see the concept art because I enjoyed the characters. I wanted to unlock cheat-codes because it resulted in wacky things that made things new only after I had spent time making things familiar. Armello has honestly beautiful collectibles. They are the beautiful 3D models used in the game board and characters, and while it is nice to be able to examine them outside the game, it is such a turn off. The mere introduction of an in-game currency makes me feel like the game is exploiting my time. I was interested in unlocking the king’s dice, but Armello uses a random lootbox system. Whereas, I know that every point I earn in AAC is going towards the next cool unlock, I have no such promise in Armello. And you know what is the most wacky thing? This isn’t even what I wanted to write this review about. But the more I write about it, the more I realize how trash this micro-transaction system is. This game is $20 on steam. $20. If the gameplay wasn’t trash, I could see this being a $60 game. If they wanted to make money, they could have charged more. $20 is relatively cheap in terms of games, but you know what? Microtransactions shouldn’t appear in a $5 game. If I pay for a game, it shouldn’t have microtransactions. Microtransactions are designed to make your game worse. Period. There is no application of microtransactions that could not be done in a more enjoyable way without. God. Enough about that.

The game itself is trash. Which is honestly such a shame. It is so beautiful. I felt like I was constantly on the edge of seeing all the pieces click together. In seeing how the game was intended to be played.

Allow me to explain what exactly the game is now that we have reached paragraph 5 of talking about the game. Armello is a game where you control a cute little animal hero token on a board similar to Catan. The king has gone insane and you are tasked with gaining political capital and physical power so that you can usurp the king while he slowly brings the kingdom to ruin. This power is a mixture between dice and card mechanics. There are also slightly different mechanics for day and night, and a magic system which has a dark side with again more mechanics. None of this seems altogether complicated during play. Cards are merely support for the dice, the board/positioning is support for the cards, and dice are combat. This is however, as it appears at first glance, incredibly complicated.

By far, the biggest issue with this system is the many ways randomness is introduced. Combat is random. You can offset this randomness with cards, but cards are also random. You always draw to full, but cards cost either mana or money to use unless you burn them in order to get a certain dice roll. However, if you don’t have the mana, and you don’t want the particular dice roll associated with the card, it means you either need to hold onto a junk card or throw away one of your dice rolls which were the thing we were trying to optimize in the first place.

The cards are just bad. They are not only hardly useful, but they are also poorly written. I once killed my character because it said I would damage all surrounding tiles, but it failed to mention I would also damage the central tile. (Also, because my character died, it stopped casting the spell before it damaged the surrounding tiles.) It was just confusing.

I haven’t even mentioned the camera. It is super zoomed in, and it doesn’t follow what other players are doing. There is a lot of player player interaction, and it is public knowledge. If I move my camera manually, I can watch what they are doing; however, there are just enough weird stealth systems that it is almost impossible to do so.

I don’t like this game. And I’m really upset, because I thought it was going to be pretty cool. It has such a lovely aesthetic. It has dice and cards and cute animal creatures, but it fails to tie its diverse system into a coherent system. It’s possible that I just haven’t spent enough time with this game, but if that is the case then the game has failed in the most important goal of being clear and understandable to the player.

Bah humbug.

[dukeofriven]

Hussie, Hitler, And Boy I’m Tired

I said earlier that I didn’t want to put on my hip waders and muck about in the Homestuck tags. *pulls off hip waders* I went anyways. I went even though I was feeling pretty good because I had a nice dinner and got to watch the New Years Bake-Off special. I went anyways, and I did it for you, my eight followers who aren’t pornbots. It turns out the Homestuck fandom of Tumblr is as scary and hyperbolic as ever, and has taken one lousy bit of badly written crap and extrapolated that backwards into ‘Homestuck has always been a racist anti-semetic pile of garbage and everything about it is terrible and Andrew Hussie needs to die.” I’m not paraphrasing, by the way. Someone out there is chanting ‘die Andrew Hussie die,’ because he had the gall to... clumsily dunk on Hitler like a fifteen year old trying to impress his English teacher with edgy comedy? This new stuff is too dumb to be offensive, especially in an era with, y’know, Hitler-praising alt-right Neo Nazis actually being mainstream media figures.  Hey Tumblr fandom? Can you... mm not chill, chill’s not the word I’m looking for what is it... oh yes. Can y’all fuck off for once?

Tumblr doesn’t deserve to enjoy things because it doesn’t know how to enjoy things responsibly. It lurches from adoration to hatred without pause, and as a writer it gives me nothing but an anxiety. I cannot produce anything imperfect, I cannot ever write crap because if I do then all my work will be tainted by it forever. On Tumblr you are always judged by your worst effort, which is a fucking god-awful standard for large media franchises of any kind. You know who one of the greatest, most thoughtful, socially-driven authors of the twentieth century was? Terry Pratchett. You know what’s kind of sexist and lazy and awful? The Colour of Magic. You know what’s weirdly colonialist and smug and all-around shit? Snuff! Neither of those shitty books invalidate the forty other Discworld novels. The existence of Anchorman’s bloviating nothingness doesn’t erase Will Ferrel’s warm and desperately human performance in Stranger Than Fiction. The Forced Kiss Equal Romance kiss in Blade Runner doesn’t erase the rest of the movie piercing question on the nature of what it means to be human. And on and on and on. Andrew Hussie’s sneeze-shart dogshit history rewrite that was so embarrassingly bad it got pulled from the internet didn’t erase Rose/Kanaya, or gay Dave, or Joey Claire tap-dancing her little heart out to try and defeat a monster. And even if Andrew Hussie does a JK Rowling and produces nothing but ill-thought-out crap from here until the day we all die in the great Disney Final Merger of 2023, it still won’t invalidate the good moments that made you happy. I mean if Andrew Hussie toddles out of retirement onto a talk show in a bathrobe to discuss his new revelations on the Puppetgrandmasters of Scion who all have worryingly Semetic names, I’m not going to be so naive as to pretend that his earlier media can be consumed in some kind of vacuum, that the future cannot affect the past. but I am saying that the good that happened in it - the things that affected you in positive ways - are not ethereal. It mattered to you then, and that’s okay. Tumblr’s hyperbolic responses seem to be rooted in embarrassment and self-flagellation. People seem so terrified by the thought that anyone might associate them as a fan of something - gasp - linked to controversy that they... well, they say shit like “die andrew hussie die.” Hey dude. Hey. You need to redirect that anger, my friend. There’s actual Neo-Nazis in the streets. On the TV. In the US government. I guess what I’m trying to say is... Woof. Okay. You know, to give Andrew Hussie partial credit here, its nice to see someone actually write Adolf Hitler the way he really was - a pant-shitting constantly whiny toddler of a human being who endlessly threw tantrums and got to where he was largely on the strength of other people’s bad decisions. Remember kids: the biggest myth Neo-Nazis have ever perpetrated is that Germany under Hitler was well-run, well-organized, and anything other than a collection of squabbling dysfunctional fiefdoms run by party hacks propped up by a bureaucracy and military too bound by inertia, ego, and cultural racism to do anything to stop a lunatic from ripping their country to shreds. That whole ‘trains running on time’ thing? It’s nonsense. Go study the conduct of the war once Germany had exhausted all its pre-war stockpiled resources and ran out of useful shit to loot, once it had to start relying on its leadership for the things that make wars winnable - supplies, reinforcements, fuel, winter clothing. Watch the way from 1942 onwards Germany stumbled from one disaster to the next, as Hitler fired more and more generals and drew more and more authority to himself and his fellow party cronies. Hitler should not be feared as a man of competence or skill - he was a buffoon, a clown of a human being fuelled entirely by petty, vindictive spite and an unlimited capacity for cruelty. And before anyone goes ‘well if he was so objectively pathetic how the fuck did he take over Germany’ I direct you to google the last two years of American politics and the words ‘Donald Fucking Trump.’ [I recommend, on these war subjects particularly, Sir Antony Beevor’s bleak and sobering works, particularly Stalingrad, Berlin: The Downfall 1945, and Ardennes 1944: Hitler's Last Gamble.]  Sorry this... kind of got away from me somewhat, but I really hate it when people get mad that someone didn’t take Hitler seriously (and, to be strictly fair, this is not what everyone is mad about in regards to Andrew Hussie, either). You should never take Hitler seriously. Take hate seriously - take violent words, and calls for purity, take his ideas of superiority and racial preeminence and anti-semitism seriously as the evils, the horrors as they are. But the man himself? He literally stank - a combination of his halitosis, chronic flatulence, and was constant diarrhea. [I am not exaggerating] He was a sad pathetic clown, and Andrew Hussie chose to write him as such. He just... went too far. It happens. It’s not good writing. It’s fucking shit, to be honest. Boring shit. The Minions movie decided to have the Minions sit out the entirety of WWII by having them get stuck in a cave or some such. Honestly that’s a better option than what Andrew Hussie went with - and ‘be more like the Minions movie’ isn’t advice I give that often. You want to be disgruntled that an author wrote something this bafflingly tone deaf and tedious? Sure. I know I am. But to chant for his death? Are you fucking kidding me? Look! Look out your window at those marching Neo-Nazis trying to establish a white supremacist state? What the ever-loving fuck are you people doing in here getting ready to string-up a man whose crime was making Adolf Friggen Hitler too petty???????? Tumblr. Tumblr, for the love of god this has to stop. This ‘Ceasar’s wife must be above reproach’ shit has to stop - it’s killing fandom, it’s killing good media critique, it’s burying proportional fan response, and its just exhausting. Why can’t you ever just let something be lousy without it being literal death warrant? There’s real demons out there - I can see them out the window, and every time I turn on the TV. Maybe - just bloody maybe - not every single crime deserves the exact same level of disapprobation and punishment? Maybe we could read some content and say “boy that sure had some lousy implications and also was just really poorly written” and then... stop there? Wouldn’t that be nice, for a change? We could dislike something without feeling like it required activism on our part. We could say ‘this piece of media was shit, but it didn’t advocate for a white ethno-state, so I will continue to think of it only until the end of this sentence.’ I am not advocating for an end to media criticism for anything that isn’t openly hate speech (but if you think that I am I am going to assume you’re already so needlessly enraged about this whole matter that I’m a bit puzzled why you’ve bothered to read this far since its obvious we don’t agree on many fundamental issues.) What I am calling for is the end to death threats against people who don’t mean you harm. Because that’s lunacy. That’s beyond the pale, actually, that’s really disturbing and sickening and you should seriously reconsider your relationship with media. Because there are people out there who do want to hurt you. Their lives are fuelled by hate, their philosophies are driven by it, as are their politics. I assure you that when a time traveller steps through a portal trying to prevent the rise of ‘the great Trump War of 2020′ the inciting incident will not be ‘Andrew Hussie trivialized the holocaust by citing its origins as a grudge Adolf Hitler bore Albert Einstein over a rivalry in secret clown ninja school before being taken on as an agent of a baking-obsessed alien space witch and bumped into power by the Peters principle.’ Because just by writing that sentence I have already reaffirmed a very simple truth: this is way, way too stupid to give the slightest shit about. So let’s tell Andrew Hussie that his new work is... mmm.... kind of like a shit if a shit had a shit that was itself shat out by a shit and then vomited on by another shit who had eaten nothing but shit since Sunday. Let’s tel lhim “hey dude, your clownish work summoned the spectre of anti-semetism, and you can do better.” Frankly, I think that message was already sent, since in the two hours between me going to make and eat dinner and then coming back to my computer, the new material was discovered, read, disseminated, and removed. Two hours. Sure, maybe a bit of lag due to what does and does not hit my feed but come on - this all took place in an afternoon. It’s already down. Our voices were heard - we didn’t think this was very good, and apparently Whatpumpkin agrees enough that they didn’t mount a defence of it. Rather than take the next logical step, though - which seems to be calling for the death of Andrew Hussie and removing all of Homestuck from the internet and maybe nuking Toby Fox from orbit just to be extra-sure? - we could do... something else. Talk about the release date for Stranger Things, maybe. Track down some local Neo-Nazis and punch them. Read some Antony Beevor books and really educate ourselves on what a smelly fuck-up Hitler was so we can chant that at Neo Nazis at their next rally. Or you could watch the New Years Bake-Off special. It was pretty good.

[toast-the-unknowing]

lydia-st-james tagged me in a writing in review meme, which, man. That takes me back. I haven't done one of these in ages.

Main take-aways: 1. 2017 was the year of the long-ass fic titles, apparently. 2. It only took ten freaking years but I can mostly write romance without dying of embarrassment. Mostly. 3. Ten years has not been long enough to teach me how to start something and just finish it already before starting twenty more things. Seriously, there are so many stories that I started this year that I keep thinking ya'll have read already and then I remember that no one has read those because I haven't finished them yet. Oh well. Maybe 2018 will be a year of extraordinary personal growth and self-discipline. Spoiler alert: it won't be.

Anyway. These are the things that I've published so far this year.

Listed in chronological order of publication, with one exception:

new worlds for the weary, new lands for the living Okay, so, I don't know if anyone else thinks of any of their stories this way, but I have a very small handful of fics that are my heartsong fics. I don't think of them as being stories. I think of them as being thousands of words of meta and criticism and gushing and character love and, just, me, pouring my heart out over some aspect of canon that is important to me, and then maybe if I'm lucky, I trick people into reading it and thinking it's a story.

Yeah. This is one of those. I started this story before I had even finished Blue Lily, Lily Blue, which is not a thing I do. I always finish canon (to whatever extent canon exists at the time of my joining fandom) before I start writing. But I wanted so badly to write about Adam and Ronan and how I felt about their relationship that I couldn't wait.

This was something like a five month writing process all told, and I'm really happy with the end result. The moment where Ronan smears ink on Adam's face, in particular, I'm very proud of. I'm proud of that whole fight scene, really, but that moment is such a strong visual, and I'm not generally great at creating those.

don't think about how much it will hurt God, I still hate this title, but I do love this fic. It exists because I had been toying around with a canon-divergent AU that I quickly realized was going to take a shit-ton of work and not actually be that interesting. I ditched the AU, but there was one scene I liked enough that I didn't want to give up on it (Ronan trying to provoke Adam into punching him and then holding his hand while wondering wtf he's doing), and I realized it could pretty easily be made canon-compliant and given the legs to stand on its own.

I briefly considered tagging this as "preslash if you consider fighting and bad decisions to be flirting, which if you ship pynch, you probably do," and then I considered how poorly that would match the tone of this story. I am very happy with the tone of this story. It was hard to write, and I think it's hard to read, and it's a better story for it.

the more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind NO ONE ON EARTH READ THIS FIC BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT I LOVE IT. There are so many, many, many things in this fic that make me happy: -Clarke being an unholy mashup of my sister and talldecafcappuccino -"You thought that there was an intersection of sentimentality and camp that Miller wouldn't be interested in?" -Just, Murphy. All of Murphy. -The Inseparable, Indestructible Blake Siblings (which is when the Blake siblings are at their best, fuck you, canon) -"Do you ever worry that we're going to turn out to be warped people with unhealthy relationships/Honestly at this point I'm counting on it." -the whole scene where Raven friend-dumps Clarke -Monty taking "gas grass or ass" too seriously -Nate's stupid "you know what they say about those guys with Bigfoot" t-shirt (I would wear that t-shirt)

Like, I know why this story wasn't successful as an item of fan culture. And I acknowledge that there are weaknesses in the writing. But I still fucking love it.

so familiar, like an old bedtime song Ugh, this was called "came in quiet with the rain" right up until the very second I published it and then I changed my mind and I still regret it. Never second gues yourselves, kids. (Either way: "Raising Cain" is a good Adam/Ronan song.) I wrote about half of this on a whim and then shoved it in a corner waiting for inspiration for the longer story that I thought it was meant to be a part of. Then I was sitting around on Adam's birthday/my birthday weekend, a little tipsy in the middle of the day, and I decided, nah, this can be a standalone. I'm not kidding myself that it's great literature but I think it does what it sets out to do well.

The Fake Geek Boy Job This is a rare example, for me, of coming up with a title first and writing the story around it. So that was fun. I was so, so, so happy with the response to this fic. I've written case fic before, but I'm not good at heists, and I was really worried that the way I handle the heavier plot elements here – basically cutting around them and explaining all of the offstage action through snarky banter – was going to feel like cheating. Like, there's probably a version of this story that's 20k words longer and is twice as good, but it would have taken ten times as much work. It seems like people understood the plot as it stands and didn't feel robbed, and it was such a relief to hear that.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name IT IS THE PROUDEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE that there are only two fanfics on AO3 tagged with the relationship tag "Quark & Jake Sisko" and I wrote both of them. Though I fully admit that "Everybody Comes to Quark's" is the better story of the two. This one feels like the first half is from one story and the second half is from a different story and neither of those two stories is complete, per se. But love a lot of the individual lines, character moments, etc. Also, just, any times spend with my beloved ridiculous giraffe boy Jake is good time.

faith, hope, all that bullshit This is the best thing that I have ever written that is based on a typo. And...I don't really know how to talk about this fic beyond that. It took something like seven months of on-again-off-again work; I am super grateful to Pynch Week for giving me the kick in the pants to finish it. There were so many things that were challenging about this – I hated everything in life the entire time I was writing Matthew. Plus trying to write all the characters as being a little older and more mature and their relationships as having progressed. But it was worth it because there are so many moments in this fic that just are still living in my head, even though I've put the fic down.

I think my favorite scene of all is the Christmas Eve scene, partly because I love Declan and partly because I love the "fucking Cain ruined it for the rest of us" exchange. But from a craft point of view I'm proud of that scene a lot. The first scene is its own contained story with beginning/middle/end; the Christmas Eve scene is what makes the proposal scene the beginning of a longer story, and it happens without the POV character understanding that it's happening. I'm pretty happy with how that all turned out.

People really liked the wedding scene, which is gratifying and totally baffling. That scene was murder to write. I don't even want to plan my own wedding, now I got to make one up for someone else? Of course, I mean. I cheated, because I didn't actually write the reception. Maybe the lesson here is if I don't even want to write a scene then for sure no one would want to read it?

Word on the Street This is another one, like The Fake Geek Boy Job, where I think there's a version of the story that's twice as good and eight times as long and a hundred times more work to write; I'm satisfied with my version. Also, I think the longer version is much more serious, whereas this is a comedy and I am happy with it as a comedy. Adam maybe comes off a little poorly, in the way that comedy characters sometimes come off dickish/rude/sociopathic. But it makes me laugh and honestly if I make myself laugh I'm happy. (That's not to say I'm never going to write the epic tale of how Ronan becomes Greywaren – I know what the first line of it is – but it's a real low priority).

come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls OKAY I WROTE THIS IN LIKE LITERALLY TWO DAYS AND YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. Even just writing something of this length usually takes weeks if not months between when I start it and when I finish it. This was like a dirty little fling, and as someone who never has dirty little flings either in life or in writing, that was a fun change of pace.

The Dragon's Nest Avatar: The Last Airbender is, in my eyes, basically a perfect television show, and it's a lot harder to write fic for something that you think is well-written/complete on its own, because where do you and your fanwriting fit in? As such, this was a challenge, but I'm pretty happy with it. Alchemicink, for whom this was written, mentioned being happy just from seeing the "intergenerational friendship" tag, and I gotta say I was happy just from getting to use that tag. And any day you get to write Toph stomping around yelling at people is a good day.

while we're on the subject, could we change the subject now So credit where credit is due: lydia-st-james gave me the prompts here and put up with my intermittent screeching as I was working on it. It took me a while to get it all done, but I wrote literally 13k words of this in the first four days, which is bonkers; I'm usually much more of a percolator in the early stages of writing. As such a lot of the outlining process is lost to the sands of time. I don't remember making an actual decision to set this in LA; I think my subconscious realized before I did that this was going to be a story about loneliness and depression, and, fairly or unfairly, I associate loneliness and depression with the city of Los Angeles. In any case, it gave me lots of opportunities to throw shade at LA and I'm always down for that, and I've loved hearing people respond to the specificity of the location.

It's funny to me that people are responding to this one so strongly because I don't generally groove on fake dating; I’ve never written it as a trope and I always find it hard to swallow as a reader. I wonder if there's something to be said for writing tropes one is somewhat critical of. Though I don't think, generally, it works out when people write a thing they actively hate. It's a theory I'm tinkering with, anyway.

[the-no-good-moonite]

cortana, find “how to remove STD”

So yeah here’s my thoughts on Star Trek Discovery as of the ninth episode:

its ugly, sounds like trash, is terribly badly written and probably smells weird if in a physical format

but allow me to elaborate a bit a lot

the sound and visuals are the smaller problem admittedly; I like plenty of things that looked arse when they were first made and look like double arse now, so if the writing wasn’t so bad I would be willing to accept this as a flaw of the series and concentrate on the rest of it. as it stands...

the music just kind of being “there” is nothing new (see: large chunks of the other series), but it’s still disappointing. the sound design being terrible on top of that? that’s trash. nearly every time a ship opens fire we get minor variations on generic and ill-fitting turbolaser sounds... I mean come the fuck on. you don’t want to be restricted by tradition, go nuts, but if that’s the best you’ve got to offer you shouldn’t have 

(I realise that choice is likely a result of a directive from on high and not entirely the sound team’s doing, but it’s still executed poorly)

as for art direction... well, John Eaves is a very poor choice for how much they’re giving to him (most of starfleet it looks like? not sure who’s doing the klingons but what little I can see of them isn’t impressing me either). I don’t hate his stuff outright like some people do, but he’s very “safe” and has exactly one aesthetic that has worn out for me and compares badly to what they’re making it contemporary to here

the art direction in general is quite bad though - there’s so much nebulous shit that glows blue in the same kind of way that it legitimately confuses as to whether or not it is the same thing - and the way it’s all shot is boring and unremarkable at best. 

(and oh look, it’s another trek villain who has a colour scheme of mostly metals and neon green. get the fuck out of here)

the... space fight choreography (not sure what else to call it?) is absolutely the worst part though, it’s almost claustrophobic, everything’s jammed together like it happening in a bloody fish tank. the camera has no great desire to give us a clear view of what’s happening, or of any object other than the discovery and the ship of the dead. they almost appear to be going out of their way to avoid giving a clear look at anything else, which makes me think they’re not being given the time or budget to make models that will withstand close examination... which would be expected, but still laughable as ever

the spore drive and all the effects associated with it are ugly as sin and conceptually terrible also; I will accept no dissent on this point

sets and props are kinda “eh”, but i’ve not seen anything overtly wobble, and that’s apparently the only metric that matters so uh, good job there

so! the writing. the horrible, horrible writing.

I’m going to mostly ignore the actual dialog here, because while it is deserving of flak, it’s mostly stock phrases and interactions you’ve seen significantly better or worse versions of. so not a lot to actually say about it. I don’t like much of it and the attempts at humour are pretty lame.

what I take issue with is the overall construction of it... like they’re doing a “maybe the federation isn’t right about how it does things?” kind of thing and im onboard with that, asking questions on if the federation is really what it presents itself as has potential. but they’re not actually asking any specific questions.

and this kind of attitude pervades the whole show; there’s vague noises about stuff - maybe both sides are wrong - or whatever and the odd “aren’t we explorers?” but ultimately the show has little to no opinion on any of it (or doesn’t yet anyway), just making enough of an effort to try and get you to think it does, and then let you fill in the answer you agree with most... 

if it sounds like im leading in to a “intellectually hollow centrist liberal” kind of comparison, you fucking bet I am, because that’s pretty much what it feels like to me

I mean I expect someone’s going to try and claim they’re just going for moral ambiguity, but I struggle to think of many actual examples of that in anything, and it DEFINITELY looses any claim to such when you have characters being told that actually no, Their War Crimes Were Entirely Justified and then nobody says any different

(star trek has no substantive claim on moral consistency, but that’s just fucking indefensible, and it shouldn’t be left even slightly ambiguous if Lorca was in the right for saying that. which is kind of a recurring problem with that character, contradictory as that may appear for me to say that right after my previous comment...)

then you’ve got the portrayal of the klingons as man-eating space orks... who are doing a holy war... even if that didn’t conflict horribly with the (for star trek) more complex portrayals of klingons in the past, on it’s own it feels like it’s undermining the claims to progressiveness  just a little bit 

(well it’s part holy war and part MQGA [Make Qo'noS Great Again] but you know what I mean)

and plotwise now we’re doing... voyager? maybe in the mirror universe? I don’t know. I guess they won’t stick with it for long enough to redo voyager’s worst mistakes but why am I having SG:U flashbacks all of a sudden

funnily enough I actually like SG:U more than discovery, though that may be partly not having watched it since it aired

lost my train of thought here, uh, characters bad?

or some characters bad anyway. I like maybe half of them to some degree actually, despite the dialog and how inconsistent the portrayal of nearly everyone is in between - or within - any episode (another old problem for trek, but it’s really grating with the format here)

there’s plenty to criticise though; i’m really unsure the writers have any clear idea of what Tilly’s “deal” is (only socially awkward? on a spectrum? just “weird”? who can say!) or if Stamets is an asshole or a just good-hearted grump... there’s other things like that. maybe they’ve detailed stuff in interviews, but the show itself is terrible at communicating any clear intent

but Michael and Voq’s fake personality Ash are definitely the worst characters, so i’ll focus on them

I will maintain that Michael’s backstory is rubbish, making her Spock’s secret sister is amazingly unnecessary rubbish. on top of that, we’re told she’s a top of the line member of starfleet which is then immediately undercut by her doing something stupid and reckless that almost gets her killed (after which she then presumably irradiates everything between sickbay and the bridge...) followed by doing something stupid and reckless that gets a lot of people killed and starts a war! this is arguably the most prominent trait of the character

she kind of comes off as a suicidal maniac, is my point.  Captain Georgiou is quick to jump to a suicidal option too (and im just gonna say... most prominent asian person in the series to date... suggests a suicide attack...) 

does this version of starfleet just not do psych tests until you hit admiral? of the two that have actually done things we’ve had two walk into obvious traps, but one of them seems comparatively well adjusted

anyway, so we’ve got Michael, a pet character of some writer who changes personality every other scene and totally not Voq, we swear and Ash. who is about the most blandly likeable love interest possible, and definitely Voq infiltrating starfleet, how long are they gonna drag this secret cylon constructed memories bullshit out just bloody kill me already and also a survivor of sexual abuse (and torture) with PTSD. 

they heavily implied this was the case when they introduced the character, and then in episode 9 it was confirmed explicitly by the character in question... that’s all fine, feels like a bit of a cheap grab so they can be a “mature“ story but let’s see how it plays out... and oh.

they went and showed (what was framed as but aren’t necessarily) the events in question. this is, at best, tasteless and inappropriate

now, i’m not going to say they’re going to handle this in the worst way possible, but what they’ve done so far is making me really fucking uncomfortable! I do not have faith that this will resolve even remotely well

and then there’s the whole thing where his memories are likely 100% manufactured as cover, which has a good chance of giving this whole situation an unpleasant taste all on it’s own

I also really had no need to see these new klingons naked anyway, or any naked klingon really, and in context cable drama nudity is absolutely the worst thing they could’ve copied from game of thrones without thinking about it

anyway, that’s [however many, I don’t want to check] badly formatted and often grammatically incorrect words to say: 

The show is bad. You disagree? Ok. I disagree with you. Now nobody is happy. I would prefer to be happy. I am not.

Goodnight.

[gunnerpalace]

Let's Talk About Orihime

This is a bit long, so I’m putting it under a cut:

But first, because this requires some setup, let's talk about Mace Windu. Now, someone a lot more famous than me has already had this discussion, if a bit crudely:

So, in short, Jackson was cast not because he was good for the part, but because his name would bring in extra dollars and an audience that might not have come otherwise.

Anyway, keep in mind the quoted section.

Now let’s talk about Bella Swan. This is by no means the most exhaustive breakdown of her character, but it will suffice.

Throughout the series, Bella is only defined by her relationship with Edward. That is what sets her apart from the other characters. She has no special traits or defining hobbies or characteristics. She could just as easily be replaced with a secondary character and the only difference would be the name.

[...]

This is a product of the bad writing evident throughout the series. Meyer never shows, she just tells. She tells the reader Bella is smart, though, over the series, a veritable mountain of evidence stacks up against this fact.

[...]

Bella's main problem, however, is not her lack of depth, Twilight is a poorly written romance novel after all, you cannot expect too much, the main problem is Bella's essentially anti-feminist characterisation.

Keep this in mind too.

Last, but not least, let’s talk about healers in JRPGs, specifically, Final Fantasy. Now, when people think of White Mages, they think of something like this. And of course this image of healers as chaste, pure, pretty maidens is quite the trope, and begat its own offspring.

This became so rote that eons (almost 20 years) ago, PSM had an article on trying to change up the tropes in JRPGs to keep them fresh. I can’t find the article, but here was their concept art. (The female lead was a black mage, not a healer, and the healer was actually pretty into violence.)

The pinnacle of this trend was, of course, Aeris:

Now, everybody thinks of Aeris as a pure princess because of FFVII: Advent Children, and the associated following Kirk Drift. But Aeris was street-smart and loved to crack innuendo, so this is largely a mass-misremembering of her actual personality in FFVII. (The definitive screenshot LP of FFVII makes the case for this handily.)

Still, you get the idea: healers are pure, pretty princesses.

Speaking of pure, pretty princesses:

(Gee, you wonder if that color-scheme is a coincidence?)

So here’s the thing: Orihime is bait. She didn’t start off that way, but that’s what she became very quickly, certainly by the end of the SS arc.

She is a very shoujo character in a shounen. Who do you suppose that she is designed to attract? The answer, of course, is women, specifically teenage girls who can identify with her. (This is analogous to Mace Windu being introduced to expand market capture.) She serves an auxiliary role through her design, as IH has lately seen fit to constantly crow about: her huge chest also makes her fan service for male readers. (This is like Mace Windu being the “only” Jedi who can balance between light side and dark side and the only one with a purple lightsaber.)

Not only is she perfectly designed to appeal to a non-traditional demographic in addition to shoring up a traditional one, she’s designed to do so through insidious means. Put simply, much like Bella Swan, she was largely designed to be, or became, a tabula rasa. She is a blank slate. What few personality quirks she had to begin with were eliminated to focus her existence entirely upon pursuing Ichigo. We’re told that she’s smart, just like Bella, we’re told that she has an interesting interiority, we’re told this, we’re told that... All of that is systematically eliminated for the sake of her pursuit of Ichigo. She exists for no other purpose. She is the girl seeking to get the guy.

And much like Bella Swan, she is successful in that appeal, because by being so thoroughly bland, and sympathetic in a rudimentary way (that is to say, relatable, because she is aimed at an age-group when people are figuring out how to pursue relationships), she is the perfect template onto which to project one’s desires. She exists for the reader to use as a self-insert.

Unlike Bella Swan, she does have one special trait: she’s the healer. Orihime is practically an archetypal example of the pure maiden/princess archetype of a healer. And of course, her powers are routinely hyped up as something truly astonishing (the, to paraphrase, “transgressing into God’s domain” quote that gets bandied about) even as they are simultaneously dismissed. (Hachi doesn’t regard her powers as special, Kisuke considers her powers dispensable, Aizen ultimately had no use for her except bait, etc.)

Orihime isn’t powerful. For all of her vaunted ability to reject events, she is neutralized by differentials in reiatsu, just like Soi Fon is by Aizen. Against a more powerful opponent, she’s ineffective. Further, she lacks a killer instinct, and was only able to muster it once. (This being in the defense of Tatsuki; some will argue she was ready to hurt Moe if he had been the one to injure Uryuu, but close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and global thermonuclear war.)

What she is, is fast. Soul Society’s healers are able to reproduce her results or better with time, but she can do the same very quickly. This makes her convenient, particularly to the plot. She is an expedient deus ex machina for enabling our heroes to do what they do, and this gives her an air of necessity to their adventure. She seems very important as a result! But we must remember that this is a story with an author, not a record of events, and that stories can be incredibly contrived.

Hanatarou couldn’t fix the degree of injuries she could, or fix them as quickly, but he could largely fulfill the same role—and in fact did during the Soul Society arc. She could be swapped out for another healer, like Unohana, and very little would change except the necessary pacing of events. She exists to speed up the plot.

In other words, Orihime is the perfect synthesis of the three examples I lead off this essay with: she is a cynical readership-expanding token character, she is rather featureless and designed to facilitate audience self-insertion, and she is a Mary Sue with an overstated importance to the plot that conceals her weaknesses. (With the last point: I don’t refer to Aeris in actuality, but more the idea of her that was built up by the extended universe ex post facto.)

She basically became a plot and marketing device.

And the hilarious thing is, she worked perfectly. Her popularity poll numbers were acceptable enough, but it’s the zealotry and rancor of her supposed fans that really tells the tale:

There is the continued focus on her physical form, particularly her breasts; this reduction of her to her character design is a gleeful admission that such was her function in appealing to men.

There is the lack of concern toward her ending showing the final destruction of her early dreams and personality: this reduction of her to her relationship with Ichigo is a gleeful admission that such was her function in appealing to women.

There is the constant defense that she “deserved” Ichigo’s affection because her chaste love was so pure and selfless: this is a gleeful admission that she achieved her objective of standing in for the speaker’s own estimate of their self-worth and value.

Orihime is ultimately utilized as a surrogate for happiness by those who identified with her. She “won,” therefore they “won.” She “deserves” Ichigo, just like they “deserve” their own figurative Ichigo (that is to say, “love”). They extol her “importance” because it means they are “important.”

Not everyone who likes Orihime identified with her to this extent, of course. But I think it’s rather obvious that the diehard core of IH—that is to say, the faction that is presently occupied with making fools of themselves in the ask boxes of IRs—did.

And this is, of course, exactly why this faction of IH is so aggrieved. Orihime does not really exist as a character to them (just as Ichigo doesn’t; but Ichigo at least has a character), she exists only within the matrix of IH, because that is her purpose. When IR, or the fandom in general, rejects IH, they view it as a rejection of themselves. It’s a repudiation of the commitment they made, and of their core being, and thus they lash out. When they demand recognition for their ship, what they are really demanding is recognition of themselves. They are trying to compel respect and love.

The tragedy and irony of this is of course self-evident, but nonetheless noteworthy, for they are in effect being told the one thing they cannot actually cope with:

Santen Kesshun: I Reject!