#asshole character. all part of her charm i suppose

[shizdrone]

oh oops apparently there's a tag limit. makes sense but annoying that it lets me input more than that. i'll try and remember the other half of my rant and put it here so i can also have the appropriate tag for Stealth Discussion

realised that as all of my irl friends fear me in tabletop games. even after all of this time, i am still successfully following in shizune's footsteps. next comes getting them into risk. australia will be mine

[the-one-and-only-taffie]

Back with more White Diamond x Sentinel Prime crackship nonsense baby!!!

Ever since I first thought about these goobers, I haven't known a single day of peace (mostly cause the ideas are just racking around in my brain)

So here's a list of headcanons I came up with for Prime Diamond! If you have any questions regarding this ship, my ask box is open. Double if you have any thoughts or anything to add, go on ahead! I hope y'all enjoy!

I may make a part 2 when I come up with more lol

For this relationship to even be possible (as possible as a crackship between two characters from completely different franchises can be), it will have to take place Post-Steven Universe Finale/Future when White Diamond is in her therapy, self-help guru era. And when Sentinel Prime is... alive.

Also, I have been trying to do research regarding this but since the results are so inconsistent, I'm gonna assume White Diamond is around 80 to 90 ft tall and Sentinel is around 60 (based on how he's double Orion Pax's height and apparently TF One Orion is around 33 ft tall). If you know their actual canonical heights or anything close to that, please lemme know!

As mentioned in a reblog, White Diamond would take an interest in Sentinel Prime as a sort of little DIY project. Though he tries to hide it, White with her supernatural intuitiveness can tell there's more to him than meets the eye (he's an asshole). Having been inspired by Steven to see the worth and beauty in imperfections, she wants to give someone like Sentinel a chance like Steven did for her. Though she is making genuine strides to improve upon her previous controlling and obsessive behavior regarding perfection, this aspect of her will resurface in her attempts "fix" Sentinel while in a relationship with him. She adores and finds much interest in his "positive imperfections," but helping him improve on his more negative ones wouldn't hurt, right?

Other reasons she developed an attraction to him is for the same reason all the Sentinel fangirls did: he's just so... pathetic. When he tries to impress her with stories of battles he's never fought in and gives her a tour of his treasure room full of artifacts he didn't discover, she can tell he's trying way too hard to impress her. She finds this cute and charming rather than douchey and desperate.

Sentinel Prime pursued her because, as stated in a previous reblog, "his diva ass was always going to try and seek out a gem fit for a king." He laid his eyes on an 80-90 ft giant alien rock woman and thought,"I need her." As any sane person would. She was supposed to be nothing more than another symbol of wealth for him to show off to the other elites and officials of Iacon City to further cement the royal image he works so hard to maintain. He definitely underestimated how overwhelming White Diamond can be, and I am not just referring to her height.

Sentinel would rather have his spark be extinguished than admit to this, but his stabilizing servos get wobbly at the idea of his alien girlfriend being so much taller than he is. His pride would never admit to this, nor would it accept someone taller than him accompanying him. He believes that as a "Prime," he is supposed to be much taller, bigger, and more imposing than those around him.

Whenever they make a public appearance, Sentinel insists that White shrink herself to a height more tolerable for his fragile ego. He bullshits an excuse about their buildings not being designed for a being as tall as she is. White obliges, but given how Iacon was built when the previous actual Primes were all gigantic and alive, she quickly figures his lie and confronts him about it. He'd just lie again and say he didn't want the other Cybertronians to be intimidated... by her beauty. Clearly, it's not because of some Napolean complex or something. Still, White is in her patience era, so she takes the compliment for what it is.

The "guy who doesn't like speeches" vs. "professional yapper" isn't a joke. Sentinel can't stand how much White Diamond loves to yap. She's the kind of person to have thoughts and opinions about anything and everything. Given that she doesn't breathe, she doesn't even need to catch her breath in the middle of speaking, so she can go on and on and on, much to Sentinel's annoyance.

He tries to get her to quiet down at times, but as White tends to do, she either doesn't hear him or straight up ignores him. Her monologuing, along with her height and just how shiny she is, is very overwhelming for Sentinel at times. The only good thing he finds about this aspect of his sweetspark is when she dotes on him and showers him with compliments and attention. As if an attention hungry fame whore needed any more of it.

Sentinel even allows White to indulge in her psychoanalysis, playing up the whole "tragic hero whose brothers and sisters perished in battle and now has to face the pain and weight of protecting his people alone" angle that she eats up. White does sometimes hit dangerously close to home, so Sentinel shuts her down before she could dig straight to bedrock and uncover the more unfavorable parts of himself he wants to stay hidden.

Speaking of staying hidden, the way White carries herself in public makes Sentinel was to keep her locked away in a jewelry box. White is excellent when it comes to using her words to inflict psychic damage or to build someone up. When it comes to social situations where charisma, relatability, and poise are needed, this is when White is at her most alien. She is not the most socially adjusted given that prior to the finale, she spent thousands of years hidden away in a world of her own delusions. She doesn't have much of a filter, something she has been working on to avoid upsetting others.

She has the habit of pointing out any interesting thing that catches her eye, especially about people, whether or not it's positive or negative. This has led to her unsettling the bots at best or offending them at worst. Sentinel then has to come in and use his charisma to difuse the situation and paint her behavior in a more positive light. Only for White to turn around and ask everyone if they ever noticed how Sentinel's wings move in accordance to his mood and how adorable it is. Everyone laughs. Sentinel is thoroughly pissed.

Sentinel definitely has more relationship experience than White Diamond. All of her knowledge comes from what she's heard from the gems that come to her for advice or from that human show the little green Crystal Gem recommended (she can't remember her name). In her attempts to emulate the behavior she's heard of and observed, she ends up coming off as cringe or detached from reality. At certain points of the relationship, she even imposes certain "deadlines" on courtship behaviors she expects from Sentinel. All his previous relationships were private, casual flings. He only made this one public because bagging a bad bitch like White Diamond is an accomplishment he felt he had to show off.

This may come to bite him in the aft when her radiance catches the attention of other bots. On these occasions, he acts possessive and showers her with attention, gifts, and affection. He tells himself and Airachnid it's because he doesn't want her to outshine him in the eyes of the public. In reality, he gets jealous and doesn't want to lose her interest and, most importantly, her attention. As overwhelming and embarrassing as she can be, a twisted part of him really craves her attention.

In private, Sentinel can flip flop greatly in how he treats White. On some days he leans on her for support and wants her to pet his wings while he vents about all the dumb, annoying bots he has to fraternize with and all the boring meetings he has to attend. White occasionally interrupts him with advice or her own views on the situation, which frustrates Sentinel. On other days, he's completely detached, not even bothering to give her the time of day. He is at his most consistently sweet and romantic when they're both in the public eye, performing grand gestures of love. This intensifies when they're on camera.

They present themselves as THE Iacon couple, but Sentinel and White argue a lot about pretty much anything. More often than not, White is trying to advise him on how to improve himself and his city, and Sentinel kindly tells her to shut up and mind her own business.

They are both very prideful people who can't accept when they are wrong. White is more willing than Sentinel to admit to it and compromise. If she believes she is 100% in the right, she won't go down without a verbal fight. She has yet to figure out how to properly counter Sentinel's "NUH UH!" though. She believes this is normal and healthy as she hears time and time again how arguments are a sign of a functional relationship. White knows how in the past she never allowed anyone to express their grievances or criticize her. If they did, she'd twist their words to further force her own viewpoint or take control over their mind and body. Seeing Sentinel passionately argue back while White practices her listening skills and only sometimes speaks over him gives her hope that she isn't regressing back to her previous toxicity. No one has told her that disagreements are healthy and normal, but frequent fights and arguments are not. And the kind of hellish circles these two go in just ain't it

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Blitzø

ft Loona doodles :) Alright first off sorry this took so long i got a job lol

A large part of his character is the fact that he used to be a clown, so I took a bit of two face in this design and accentuated the scarring on the left side of his face. I decided to give him the circular cheek bits to allude to the clown as well as ruffling his collar under the clothes. He’s the most complex design of the IMP so far, aside from Loona’s multiple spots, so i tried to keep the colors simple but distinct from M&M. I took the spikes and put them on his clothes – as in he puts on thorns to keep people away. I think a pink tone suits his more lusty character. 

Now as for his character... I'll be honest I struggled with him for a bit. I wasn’t entirely sure where I wanted his character to go or how serious this rewrite would take the drama Viv wants to write. I adore writing deep characters, so I suppose I’m going to have to take The Office’s approach of being a comedy with moving parts. There are overarching plot lines in this version, that being Moxxie’s mafia ties coming back to haunt him, Blitzo’s past coming back to fuck him over in the form of everything about him, and Millie’s insecurities fucking her over when it counts. Maybe the series underlying theme is how running from your problems doesn’t work. Idk, because I also like the whole monster of the week type assassin gigs they do. I’ll make it work. 

So now, introducing the new and improved Blitzø! 

Blitzø is a mixed imp, his father being from Greed and his mother being from Lust. As such he’s a very poor mix of bad traits. He’s hypersexual (to the point of disturbing others), greedy as fuck (as he underpays Millie and Moxxie), is greatly attached to and possessive of those he likes (hence his smothering of Loona and stalking of M&M), and tends to think with his dick in most situations which get him into quite a few pickles (hehe pickle) 

Alright, so personality wise he is just about the same. He shits on others, is generally an ass and not very shy about it, but one thing I want to change is his delivery. This Blitzø is much more jovial about what he’s doing, putting on an act of being very charming and playful, even when he insults people. Ex, the line in the pilot when he mentions Moxxie crushing his dreams would include a very childish pout and a chuckle after. He plays the things he says off as jokes so it gives him an air of... idk like you don’t know when he’s ever being serious. 

He grew up in a circus in Greed along with his twin sister Barbie Wire (side note if Blitzo was my og creation he would have a pun/type name like Barbie does. Too tired to come up with one now, but mainly just because Barbie Wire is a much more creative name than fucking Blitzo) and his mother, who was dying day by day. His father was the ring leader and used his children as props to make money. Blitzo was a double act with Barbie Wire where they would do tricks on trained horses before Barbie started wanting to do trapeze and Blitzo was paired with Fizz instead to do acrobatics and tell jokes. 

Now since we don’t know what the fuck happened in Blitzo’s past (despite being on fucking season 2) I’m going to leave this bit open ended until Viv plays her cards then rewrite it into my story.  

So overall I’m not tweaking too much with Blitzo. Maybe instead of being a woobie who is like oh woe is me I suck he is just an overt asshole who sort of wants to be better but that’s too much work.  

His relationship with Stolas is a can of worms and I fucking hate worms. Alright, so we’re scrapping the childhood buddies thing, and going full force into what we all were shown in the pilot – this powerful demon is banging Blitzo in exchange for the Grimoire. Now real quick, why doesn’t Blitzo use Asmodean crystals? In this I'm making it so only lust demons can bond with crystals (bonding meaning only that demon can use them) and unbound crystals can’t leave Lust. So Blitzo would have to go to Lust and buy one, which is expensive as fuck and he was too broke at the time he struck the deal with Stolas. He’s planning on ditching Stolas as soon as he has enough cash to buy a crystal for IMP to use. 

So Stolas and Blitzo are both using each other, neither of them are like “omg I think he likes me”. Stolas wants sex to fuel his imp fetish and Blitzo wants the book. Blitzo has every intention of cutting this off as soon as he gets the crystal, and in his mind is only really indulging some rich brat demon. The issue comes when Blitzo finds himself actually liking Stolas – he likes the owl’s stupid spiels about literature and space and herbs, he likes that Stolas tells him helpful things with no prompting (like how certain herbs can treat injuries and things like that), and he finds himself liking Stolas’s company. Which is a big problem if he wants to cut the demon off, so he starts trying to get that in gear. This is also while being constantly reminded how unlovable he is and how he ruins everything he touches, but he’s conflicted because Stolas has started to treat him kindly and refer to him like an acquaintance rather than a sex toy. 

Any I'm tired af, going to bed. 

Oh, but before I go I just want to say that now that I’ve finished the IMP gang, I’m taking a minor break from reworking Helluva and will be posting some RWBY redesigns I’ve made because I fucking hate RWBY but at the same time it’s like my childhood. I’ll tag anything Rwby I'm doing as Rwby Rework if you’re interested, but don’t worry I’ll continue to do more viv/helluva/hazbin later this month! 

Thanks for reading <3

[findafight]

I think the most insufferable part of the “Steve is the worst” refrain is that even when the change is acknowledged, they constantly make out like he’s on thin ice.

But the funniest part has to be that they write this whilst also having pretty much every new main cast member they add to show take a shine to him;

Billy just wants Steve to pay attention to him (and was bitterly disappointed that Steve was just some dude and not the raging asshole that everyone’s told him about)

Max hates teenage boys, but concludes she has found the one good one

Robin enjoys his company despite herself and becomes soul bonded to him

Eddie ends up being straight (I’m sorry) up *enchanted* by Steve, and we have a whole scene of him trying desperately to communicate this to him - of course Nancy wants you, dude! Who wouldn’t?

I know we’ve joked about Joe’s charisma, but canonically Steve’s must be *otherworldly*. Clearly the only reason Nancy didn’t let him fuck that old man was because the writers needed to make things difficult for them.

The show simultaneously trying to remind us Steve used to be a dick but is actually the most charming lad in all the land and is everybody's favourite most specialest boy. Like they try to make us remember Steve being mean but then it's also telling us he's a silly billy driving his bestie to school without questioning it and not knowing she doesn't even know how to drive. How are we supposed to think he's gonna backslide.

Lmaooo billy being disappointed Steve's not an asshole. It's no fun winning for him if it wasn't actually a competition :(

Max: no teenage boys allowed

Steve and Lucas: *exist*

Max: okay I will make an exception because they seem very nice

Dustin just consistently telling everyone he meets Steve is the coolest most badass person alive. Can you imagine the hero worship Suzie has heard?? (Suzie is also a Steve Stan and she hasn't even MET him)

Robin spends one month in close proximity to Steve and she's like well. Guess he's my best friend now!! And she was probably actively trying to not like him! And yet here we are! She liked him before they got tortured and she was probably so ticked off about how she, too, has fallen platonically for the Harrington charm. Not fair. Embarrassing.

Eddie spends less than a week around Steve and immediately joins his little cheer squad with Robin and Dustin. Like, if they wanted us to know that Steve was a dick to people for no reason in highschool Eddie would've been the person to use to demonstrate that, or the tension between who he was and who he is, but they don't! Eddie just admits he made assumptions about Steve without knowing much about him other than his rich parents and big house and popularity with girls, (saying more about himself than Steve) and then immediately jumps on the Steve bandwagon because now he can't understand why anyone who spent any amount of time with Steve wouldn't like him!

Even Nancy wasn't immune to Steve's charms in S4, and she had previously broken up with him messily! But all it took was a little bit of the town in danger and Steve trying to make sure everyone's on the same page while Looking Good for her to be Gazing Lustfully at him. That's why S2 and S3 had them separate for so long. Too long around him and she'd remember that she does find him cute and funny and brave and also hot.

Reasons Nancy stopped Steve from Fucking That Old Man: 1) writers needed them finding out info to be more of a struggle 2) they also probably didn't want a middle aged supposedly professional man sleeping with one of their teenage characters I guess 3) Nancy would have been wild with jealousy about the whole thing and stancy revival would have been much more obvious earlier, much more Nancy driven, and much funnier.

[thewickedmerman]

My Top 10 Favorite Disney Heroines

Okay, so I've recently been having some issues with making videos and until I can sort it out, I can't really get any new clips for videos. So that makes it harder for me to be able to talk about certain topics I want to discuss on YouTube. However, I really want to talk about this so I decided to make a post here on Tumblr and when I have my technical issues sorted out, I'll post a YouTube version. However, since I'm not playing a character on Tumblr, that means that this won't include my signature merfolk language like "mermazing", "What the Tartarus", or "Dear sweet Poseidon." But you can expect that in my video when I sort out my technical issues.

Anyway, I’ve been criticizing Disney quite a bit lately and while that’s been both fun and therapeutic, I’m still a MASSIVE fan of Disney and would like to talk about something great from them. Since one of my more recent videos where I fixed Disney’s adorkable problem has gotten popular, I figured I would talk about my top 10 favorite Disney heroines. Now lets establish the guidelines. I will only be talking about Disney’s animated heroines, I will only be including characters from their animated movies so that means no TV show heroines like Kim Possible will be included, and I won’t be including characters from properties that Disney has bought. So that means that characters like Anastasia/Anya from Anastasia won’t be included, otherwise she would be in my top 3. Why? Because apart from putting them on DisneyPlus, Disney hasn’t done anything to promote or profit off of these movies so it’s hard to consider them to be actual Disney movies. It’s why I still don’t consider movies like Anastasia to be Disney movies.

But other than that, I will have free range in what heroines make my list. So that means Pixar and Disney sequel heroines will be included. Keep in mind that this will be heavily bias, since this is obviously my opinion. So your favorites aren’t necessarily my favorites and vise versa. Feel free to share your favorites and your thoughts on my list. Just don’t be an asshole about it! Now without any further delay, lets dive right on it.

10. Lilo (Lilo and Stitch Franchise)

This is definitely one of the BEST child characters EVER and I don’t just mean from Disney. She’s weird, eccentric, emotional, she gets into fights, she’s sweet, charming, hilarious, clever, adventurous, sassy, and is just the most entertaining part of her movie. And considering the cast of characters in this franchise, that’s saying A LOT. I love how she is into unconventional things that a girl her age typically isn’t into. It’s great rep for those of us who were the weird kid growing up. I mean, while I wasn’t into the things she was into, being a boy who was, and still is, into traditionally feminine things made me a bit of an outcast growing up. Speaking of great rep, many have said that Lilo is autistic-coded, and while this hasn’t been confirmed by either the original creators or Disney, I definitely can get behind it. Speaking as someone who is autistic, I definitely remember having similar behaviors to Lilo at that age. Not entirely because everyone with autism is different. Me and my wife (@keeloves) are both autistic but we have different sensory issues from each other and behaved differently from each other as kids but still saw ourselves in Lilo. My wife particularly sees herself in Lilo, due to being a brown autistic woman, which you don’t get a lot of rep with in media.

But anyway, even if I didn’t connect to Lilo because of my autism, I would still adore her, especially since I didn’t learn I was autistic until I was a senior in high school and I still grew up loving Lilo. She has a creative way of doing things and it helps her stand out from a lot of heroines. Even heroines that are allegedly supposed to be more unique and break the mold like Mirabel from Encanto, can’t hold a candle to Lilo’s uniqueness. She has a style that’s all her own and that’s what makes her the perfect friend for Stitch, along with her immense generosity. Many have said Lilo means lost in Hawaiian but it can also mean generous one, which perfectly describes Lilo, due to her not only being lonely, but also her generous heart that managed to break through to Stitch. However, she has her limits and when pushed too far will come at you hard. I also relate to her loneliness as someone who has a hard time both making friends and maintaining friendships. She also has some of the best lines in the movie. Her personality continues to shine in the other forms of media she appears in and you can’t have a Lilo and Stitch product without her because she’s the heart of the franchise. Yes, I’m aware of those stupid shows that don’t have Lilo and I don’t plan on watching them. They don’t exist!

9. Jane (Return to Neverland) and Raya (Raya and the Last Dragon)

Hey, I never said that I wouldn’t have ties on my list. Don’t worry, this will be the only tie on this list. But to keep it organized, I will be talking about each of these characters individually before I talk about why I can’t decide who I love more.

Starting with Jane, she’s a character who isn’t like most Disney heroines that are adventurous and dream of something more. Instead, she’s a young girl who is living during wartime and is just trying to survive and do what she can to take care of her family. She’s the daughter of Wendy from the original Peter Pan but the two couldn’t be more different. Whereas Wendy is a soft-spoken optimist who is full of childlike wonder, Jane is a practical pessimist with a sharp tongue that has become jaded due to her situation. This gives her more of an arc with her story compared to her mother, who is by no means a bad character. This helps her stand out among all the Disney sequel children who tend to share their parents personality traits. I love how they don’t have Jane just be a stick in the mud for no reason. She has an understandable reason for why she is the way that she is and I think people tend to overlook that because she’s so different from the heroines that we’re used to seeing from Disney. She had to grow up fast due to her experiences and she longs for her childhood days when she could believe in things like Peter Pan, Neverland, and pixie dust. However, she knows she has to be strong but she also needs to learn to regain some of her childhood wonder to help get her through the hard times. I honestly love her relationship with Peter Pan. Not only do they have amazing chemistry, but I love how unlike the female characters in the previous movies, who tend to fawn all over him and boost his ego, Jane deflates his ego, helps him mature a bit, and calls out his behavior. I love that even if she’s not as snarky as characters like Megara that Jane is still snarky. But she also has a loving side and can be taken in by the beauty of Neverland when she’s being shown Neverland. I honestly see a lot of myself in Jane and I loved seeing her growth as a character. She’s such a complex character and she’s just a child. She’s the best thing to come out of the Peter Pan franchise. Yes, even better than Tinkerbell and I love how she calls out Tinkerbell as well.

Now we move on to Raya. For those of you who have seen my video about fixing Disney’s adorkable problem, I mentioned that Raya is one of the few heroines of the revival era that doesn’t have an adorkable personality, making her one of the more unique characters of the era. Unlike the bubbly, optimistic, quirky, and over-the-top heroines of the era, Raya is mature, snarky, pessimistic, cheeky, serious, and jaded. This is a character type that is not only unique for this era of Disney but is also a rare type of character from Disney in general. I love that she’s not so optimistic and bubbly but can still be sweet and caring towards the ones she loves. Also, speaking as someone who has trust issues, I do relate to Raya and her journey with her distrust of people. She’s been hurt and when she trusted someone, the world ended up broken because of it. So her trying to save the world isn’t about trying to help the world but to help her kingdom and bring her father back. On the one hand it’s selfless for her to do this for her people but on the other hand, she’s selfish for not caring about the rest of the world but it makes sense because of her experiences and trust issues. I also love how she’s a bit xenophobic but she slowly starts to let down her walls and trust others from different clans. I love characters that are relatable but also have a lesson they have to learn that helps them grow as people and Raya definitely fits the bill. I also love how unlike other heroines, who are great with kids and babies, she was very awkward when interacting with Noi at first. It shows that not everyone is great with kids and it’s something that can be learned. It also shows her growth with how she’s able to let herself have connections with others. But she’s also a badass of a fighter! The woman has moves! But I love that there’s more to her than just her physical strength. I love her snarky and jaded personality and her journey. Plus, it's unique how she's a Disney Princess who wasn't wanting more out of life but rather wanted to the life she used to have back. Not to mention how she was the closed-minded one while her father was the open-minded one. I also love how became one of the few Disney protagonists that are willing to kill. Granted, she didn’t do it but she was willing to kill Namaari during the climax of the movie. But she’s ultimately a good person who comes to the realization that it wasn’t right. She’s a phenomenal and underrated character from a phenomenal and underrated movie. Give us more characters like her and unique personalities, Disney.

As for why I can’t decide between the two, it’s honestly because both of them are pretty similar. Both are snarky, jaded, practical, responsible, and act as the straight man in their respective movies amongst the more chaotic characters they come across. Not to mention, both long for the simpler days when their lives were actually happy but can’t because of how their worlds have shaped them. They have great character growth and their way of thinking is technically wrong but you also understand why they are the way they are. So with how similar they are, I can’t really decide who I love more so I decided not to. The two of them are truly amazing characters and actually break the mold of the heroines we tend to see from Disney and I adore them for that.

8. Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)

Just like Raya, she’s one of the few heroines from the revival era that actually has a unique personality and in my opinion is the best heroine from this era. I love how she’s practical and serious like Jane and Raya but it’s not because she’s jaded. It’s just because she’s determined, ambitious, and a workaholic. But even without her being jaded, there’s also an explanation for why she is the way she is. She has a dream that people say will be impossible for her to achieve due to her being a black woman of low status and a dream her father spent his whole life to achieve but never managed to see happen. She’s worked two jobs her entire life and has to work so much harder than everyone else just to prove herself. But I love that she’s also a bit playful, caring, friendly, does want to have fun but just can’t let herself, and is still creative. Almost There shows off the massive extent of her incredible imagination. I love how passionate she is about her dream and cooking. I adore how she never loses her passion and fire no matter what. I wish I had her drive in life to help make my dreams come true. She inspires me and it kills me that both she and her movie are so underrated when really they deserve to be getting the attention that Frozen got. I honestly can’t wait to see what they do in the new Tiana series and I just pray that they don’t disappoint me. Tiana is truly a great character and it’s a shame more people don’t realize it. Even in her frog form, her personality shines through with her hard-working and witty personality. Not to mention, she has great growth as a character. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing a dream but you shouldn’t let that keep you from also living your life. She’s confident in certain areas but she’s also insecure as well. It helps make her a layered character and one of the most three-dimensional heroines from the revival era. Truly one of Disney’s best leading ladies.

7. Pocahontas (Pocahontas)

First of all, yes, I know that the movie is problematic with its misrepresentation of the real Pocahontas’ life, showing both sides being in the wrong when in real life it was the white settlers who were the only ones in the wrong, and portraying Pocahontas in a romantic relationship with John Smith when she was a child when they met and the fact that he intended to colonize her people. However, I still ADORE the movie! Yes, it has its issues but it also has gorgeous animation, incredible songs, an amazing musical score, an engaging romance, likable and iconic characters, a great message that’s definitely relevant today, and most importantly one of the best protagonists to ever come out of Disney.

Despite the issues Native Americans rightfully have with her movie, one thing, at least from my understanding, that they universally agree on is that in terms of personality, Pocahontas is spot on. So it’s really no wonder that Pocahontas herself is the best thing about the movie. I adore how she’s curious, adventurous, mischievous, fun-loving, playful, and daring. However, she’s also smart and mature. She’s undeniably a remarkable character that deserves nothing but praise. I love how she has a journey of finding her path but isn’t sure what her path is. And I don’t mean like she has to decide between two things but rather she has no idea what her second option is. It’s something a lot of people can relate to who can’t decide what they want to do with their life. So it’s interesting and unique to have a character who doesn’t have a clear idea of what they want but still know they want more than the life that has been planned for them. When you think about it, Pocahontas is a pretty complex character in that sense and it’s one of the reasons I adore her along with her just being a fun and exciting character. One of my favorite scenes is just her going down the water rapids and instead of her just going down the safe path that she goes with the more exciting and fun path because it’s just who she is. I mean, when she’s supposed to just come down to the river and get into the canoe with Nakoma, she could just run down there but instead, she chooses the more daring option of diving off. I wish I had the amount of guts she has. She’s such an exciting character and there’s nothing dull about her. But she also stands up for what is right and will lay her own life down in order to do what needs to be done. She’s such an underrated character that it’s painful to think about. I adore Pocahontas and consider her to be one of the best characters Disney has ever created.

6. Anastasia Tremaine (Cinderella Sequels)

Originally starting off as a minor villain in the original Cinderella, Anastasia has since become one of the most complex and interesting characters to ever come out of Disney. Even people who hate the Disney sequels tend to agree that she’s one of the best things to come out of these cash grabs. She’s so great that even the show Once Upon a Time in Wonderland continued the trend of making her a sympathetic character, with her being played flawlessly by Emma Rigby. But anyway, I adore how she still has some traits from her original appearance with her lacking elegance and grace, being a clutz, being a bit ditzy (But not dumb), and having a bit of a temper to her. It shows that just because someone becomes good, they don’t lose all of their negative traits or become 100% different because that’s not realistic. However, she’s incredibly sympathetic with how she’s a victim of her mother and sister’s abuse but they don’t erase the fact that she was abusive to Cinderella. As they say, hurt people hurt people. People are complex and it’s amazing to see someone who was abusive can also be the abuse victim without erasing past mistakes. But they don’t have Cinderella judge her on the person she used to be but rather the person she is now. In A Twist in Time, we do see her show guilt towards Cinderella. She’s just someone who wanted to be loved and for someone to love her for who she is and not what her mother wanted her to be. Honestly, I wish Disney would explore more characters like Anastasia who aren’t conventionally attractive and can also be complex and interesting. She kind of reminds me of Helga from Hey Arnold. And honestly, while Cinderella herself is still a great an admirable character, I prefer her step-sister. In fact, I might have a video analyzing what a great and complex character Anastasia is in the future (Or even post it here on Tumblr), so keep an eye out for that.

5. Megara (Hercules)

But her friends call her Meg, at least they would if she had any friends. Yeah, you know I had to quote that. Much like Anastasia, Meg didn’t start off as a heroine but rather as a minion to the villain. I honestly went back and forth on whether or not I preferred Anastasia or Megara but I ultimately went with Megara because of her amazing snark. Being someone who is incredibly sarcastic, sassy, and snarky, I relate to characters who are like that as well. She’s honestly the sassiest Disney character ever. Literally no one can match her. Yes, there have been sassy and snarky characters from Disney, a good number of them are even on this list, but none meet the same level of sarcasm as her. She’s one of the most unique Disney heroines with her starting off as a bit of an antagonist, being way more snarky and jaded than Disney’s heroines, and actually having a romantic history instead of just only being in a relationship with one person in your life and that’s the one you end up marrying. A lot of people can relate to Meg and the fact that she gave and gave all her love to someone she was in a relationship with but that person just didn’t love her as much and left her for someone else. She gave so much that she sold her soul to save her boyfriend’s life only for him to dump her for some random girl. No wonder she swore off love and became so jaded. But I love how she learns to love again and sees that it’s not bad to give yourself to someone so long as it’s the right person because just like how Megara gave up her life to save Hercules, he was willing to give his life to gets hers back. While Hercules is a great and engaging character, I find Meg’s journey more engaging. She’s a great character and it’s no wonder that she’s so beloved. Plus, she’s a snarky queen!

4. Angel (Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure)

Yeah, can you tell that I have a thing for characters that are snarky and jaded? She reminds me a lot of Megara, albeit, not as extreme due to being a kid and her movie having a different tone to Hercules. It’s no wonder that I love her, especially when her movie is also one of my top 10 favorite Disney movies of all-time. I love how she is very sly and confident but isn’t cocky or arrogant. However, despite her confidence, she also has her insecurities about her wanting a permanent family, since she’s had five families that have taken her in but when she starts to think that this one is for keeps, they move, have a new baby, or have an allergy. So despite her desire for a family, she’s jaded about the world and feels that she can only depend on herself and only sticks around the junkyard dogs because she has no other alternative. I love how even though she’s a major factor in Scamp’s development and is basically the glue that holds this movie together, Scamp helps with her development. He allows her to be brave enough to be vulnerable and to see that you don’t have to only look out for yourself because he looks out for her. The two of them help each other to grow just like a true couple should. Despite their age, their love is to the same level as any adult relationship because they were friends first and then fell in love. Overall, Angel is a phenomenal character that is smart, sassy, jaded, confident, insecure, layered, brave, brutal, sly, caring, kind, tomboyish but still feminine, and just so freaking adorable.

3. Mulan (Mulan)

Yeah, you know that you can’t have a top 10 best Disney heroines list without including her. I mean, what can I even say about her that hasn’t already been said. She’s a perfect character journey. She starts off trying to be the perfect bride and daughter but she just keeps messing it up, has no idea who she is or what she’s meant to be, breaks the rules and risks possible death for herself in order to save her father from certain death by taking his place in the army and disguising herself as a man, starts off terrible at training, gets better by embracing both sides of herself (The masculine and the feminine), and ultimately brings honor and saves the day by being herself. I love how, unlike the modern heroines we get nowadays, they take her journey seriously. Yes, there’s still some comedy with her but they don’t go over-the-top or make her clumsiness her most defining character trait. But her amazing actions aren’t the only great thing about her. I love her realistic clumsiness, awkwardness, wit, cleverness, kindness, caring nature, bravery, courage, creativity, and that she’s funny without having to be over-the-top. She’s far from perfect but that’s why she’s so great. She isn’t strong for just being masculine but also because she’s feminine. She’s flawed but she tries, she’s insecure but that doesn’t stop her, she wanted to save her father and bring honor but she also wanted to prove that she could do things right. And yet, they still made sure she was a likable character with a three-dimensional personality so that we actually care about her journey. I feel like modern Disney could learn a thing or two from Mulan. And the less said about that awful live-action remake or that horrendous direct-to-video sequel MulanII the better. Lets just focus on the original Disney Mulan and how she truly brought honor to us all.

2. Ariel (The Little Mermaid Franchise)

Yeah, you know that I had to include my favorite Disney Princess. Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve always absolutely ADORED Ariel. I relate to her rebellious nature, since I’ve always had a naturally rebellious side to me. She’s playful, mischievous, adventurous, curious, bubbly, determined, sweet, fiery, and a painfully accurate portrayal of adolescence. She’s reckless, naive, impulsive, stubborn, and headstrong. I love how flawed she is because it makes her feel more real and three-dimensional. I honestly love how relatable she is and even as someone in my late twenties, I still relate to Ariel even to this day. I know the feeling of wanting more out of life and wanting to explore beyond the confines of one's current existence. Ariel wants to learn more about the human world and wants to be a part of it because of her love of learning and her fascination with the human world. I adore just how curious and daring she is. When she sees something that interests her, she pursues it and is just so passionate about it. She’s just so engaging. I also love how on land when she’s can’t talk how adorable she is with her facial expressions and actions. She’s just such a delightful character. She sees what she wants and she goes for it and I love her for that. I honestly get so mad when people say she’s just boy-crazy and threw her life away for a man. Did people not watch the movie? She sang a whole mother-flipping song about how she wanted to be part of the human world long before she ever saw Eric. He was just what finally got things going. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with wanting romance because that’s not all she wants. She wants to explore the world and learn. The live-action remake actually made the character even better and considering how much I love the character, that’s saying something. And yeah, the live-action remake is amazing and the best of the live-action remakes (Which I have a video all about on YouTube). This little mermaid is the best Disney Princess and one of my favorite fictional characters of all-time.

Honorable mentions:

Now before I name my number 1 favorite, lets name some honorable mentions. Keep in mind that these aren’t in any particular order. Madellaine from The Hunchback of Notre Dame II, Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Judy Hopps from Zootopia, Elsa from the Frozen franchise, Jasmine from the Aladdin franchise, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Jane from Tarzan, Violet from The Incredibles franchise, Jessie from the Toy Story franchise, Kiara from The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride, Dory from the Finding Nemo franchise, Vanellope from Wreck-It Ralph, Miss Bianca The Rescuers franchise, and Rapunzel from Tangled.

Melody (The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea)

I mean, is anyone surprised? I’ve already mentioned that she’s tied with Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians as my favorite fictional character of all-time. I absolutely ADORE her! Much like how her mother is an accurate depiction of teenage struggles, Melody is an accurate representation of preteen struggles. She’s awkward around her peers, she’s doesn’t know how to act around people, she’s shy around boys, she feels like a fish out of water (No pun intended), she’s unsure of herself, has a hard time communicating with her parents, and doesn’t make the best decisions. These are all part of growing up and they captured that flawlessly with her. She has the same traits as her mother but she also has her differences that make her feel like her own unique character. Unlike her mother, who is extroverted and confident, Melody is introverted and self-conscious, which makes her feel more relatable to me. I love how they can make her very awkward without having to make it her most defining character trait like with the Disney heroines of the Revival era. She only feels comfortable in her skin when she’s out swimming and she’s told that she can’t go out into the ocean. That’s something many of us can relate to with how we’re comfortable living a certain lifestyle, doing something we love, or being true to ourselves only to be told we can’t for whatever reason. Being a naturally rebellious person with interests that aren’t traditionally masculine, I definitely relate to that. Plus, being someone who always wanted to be a merman, I also have a massive love for the ocean and Melody’s explosive passion and undying love for the sea is just so engaging. But I also love how she also has a lesson to learn, which gives her more of an arc than her mother, though to be fair, Ariel didn’t really need to learn a lesson, King Triton did. But I still love how Melody had to learn her own self-worth and apologized for causing this mess. And instead of choosing between land or sea, she chooses both by breaking down the wall that divided them. She is the bridge that connects the two worlds together. She’s just such an engaging character. Every time I see her on screen, she's just so charming and entertaining. I love her passion, awkwardness, curiosity, mischievousness, playfulness, sweetness, cunning, and just everything about her. Maybe one of these days I’ll make a video all about how mermazing she is. She certainly is a remarkable character that is more than deserving of it.

And those are my top 10 favorite Disney heroines. Are any of my favorites your favorites? Who are your favorites? Let me know. Please like, comment, reblog, and follow me if you haven't already.

[jadedbirch]

I finally watched the 2023 French fanfic of my favorite book, i.e. The Three Musketeers: Milady, part deux of Martin Bourboulon's two-part adaptation of the Alexadre Dumas' novel. I talked about part 1 - The Three Musketeers: d'Artagnan - earlier, but I like to think of them of them together as one oeuvre, since they were shot as one film and then split into two cinematic releases.

Those of you who know me, understand by now that my movie reviews predominantly judge these movies not as standalone works of cinema but as adaptations. I don't ever ask for historical or canonical accuracy (which I have long ago accepted is much too much to ask for), but what I look for is that the plot and the characters serve the underlying spirit of the original Dumas novel. And perhaps this is why, more so than with other - admittedly much more terrible - adaptations, this one just makes me blind with rage. I don't know when filmmakers decided that how we like our morally gray characters is somehow justified, redeemed, and generally de-clawed. If what they were going with here was to make Milady de Winter, the murderous villainess of the novel, into some kind of a post-feminist hero, then they have failed miserably. (Lots of spoilers below the cut)

I don't usually feel the need to put SPOILER warnings on adaptations of the 3 Musketeers, but this ones veers so far off plot that I'm putting it here just in case.

Let's start by saying that it is certainly not Milady who is the main villain of these movies. It's not even Cardinal Richelieu, the man who seems to pull her strings. Rochefort, sadly, does not even appear in this adaptation, and honestly, I feel like docking a point just for that. Apparently M. Bourboulon decided that Dumas' masterpiece just wasn't interesting enough on its own, so he felt the need to "beef" it up, i.e. rewrite the narrative by taking out critical characters like Rochefort and Lord Winter and substituting them with new characters like Mathilde (Aramis' knocked-up sister), Benjamin (Athos' Protestant!!! brother) and maligning poor Gaston le duc d'Orleans by making him the main villain of the duology. Which is a damn shame, because these were all one-note characters foisted upon us at the expense of delightful assholes who made the original novel so fun to read.

And that goes for all the main characters here, including the titular Milady herself. Book!Musketeers are young, reckless assholes, who wench, fight, gamble and generally engage in very questionable behavior. You know, "boys will be boys" - and I do mean that with every possible connotation, i.e. they're horrible. By taking away their youth (excuse moi but Vincent Cassell, who plays Athos, is in his 60's LMAO), Bourboulon would have stripped their bad behavior of any of the benefit and charm of youth. So, I guess, Bourboulon decided to get rid of the bad behavior entirely, instead. Other than Porthos having an occasional bisexual threesome (bless), and Athos drinking while brooding, we don't really see any of the musketeers being the delightful assholes that I, for one, expect them to be. Strip away everything else, but do not ever take the assholery away from me! Here, they are old and they are boring, and honestly, it makes absolutely no historical or narrative sense that any of them are still in the service.

As for d'Artagnan, our hero, he is painted with such a chaste and faithful brush that I'm not actually sure - is this the same shithead who in the book fucks Milady's maid so that he can pretend to be Milady's boyfriend in the dark and sleep with her without her consent??? Hm... nope. This d'Artagnan is so faithful to his Constance, even though they barely touched hands, that he rebuffs Milady's (very assertive) attempts at (inexplicably) seducing him. Oh dear, oh dear, you might say. How is she supposed to spend the rest of the movie trying to get her revenge against him for raping her? Oh, that's right. She's not!

This Milady is no villainess but she's certainly no post-feminist heroine either. Her backstory is so cliche, it is for to weep, and I raged and ranted at great length about it here. She was forced to marry at 15! To some unnamed man who beat and raped her! And whom she killed - a totally justifiable homicide - before somehow falling in love and marrying Old Man Athos and bearing him a child (future Mordaunt? I see you, cutie!). But alas, Old Man Athos learned of her past crime - because she told him - and turned her over to the authorities, resulting in her being branded (natch) and then hanged (convenient how Athos doesn't actually get his own hands dirty). This Milady has literally Never Done A Thing Wrong. Since there's no Lord Winter, there's no poisoned husband. She never succeeds in killing Buckingham or having him killed. She never tries to even so much as look at d'Artagnan wrong, in fact, they keep saving each other's lives for Reasons of the Narrative, none of them particularly compelling. And finally, our poor Constance, I was really rooting for her to survive this AU, but alas. She ends up once again doomed by the narrative, but so stupidly, that I honestly don't know what to say. It made absolutely no sense for Queen Anne to hide her in England with the Duke of Buckingham since doing so would have implicated her in both treason and adultery. BUT WHAT IS LOGIC? Anyways, suffice to say, it's not Milady's fault that Constance ends up dead in d'Artagnan's arms by the end of the movie.

Don't get me wrong. This Milady is very hot (she is played by Eva Green, after all). But there's really nothing interesting or compelling about her as a character. She's a survivor, determined to survive. WHICH SHE DOES. Yay, it's a Milday-is-alive-at-the-end AU! And, honestly, good for her. By all means, girl, you kill that old man who betrayed you and handed you over to be hanged! He doesn't deserve you! And you abduct your own son and smuggle him out of France to teach that old man a lesson! But for the love of all that is holy, can you please, PLEASE raise him to be at least a tiny bit evil???? Please???

I am begging, can we just let villains be villains? Milady's original character was so much more fabulous not because some man beat and raped her but because of her ability to bend men to her will and whim throughout the novel. She outwits and outmaneuvers all of our "heroes," leaving a titillating trail of bodies and broken hearts in her wake, and it takes TEN MEN in the end to hunt her down and execute her. And listen, Athos spends the rest of his life trying to atone for it. THAT IS HER POWER. This Milady? Blah. And while we're here, this Athos? Double blah. I don't care, let her kill him. There's absolutely nothing interesting about this man. (And yes, I think hanging your wife for lying to you and then becoming a murderous alcoholic about it is very interesting, Athos. Very interesting, indeed.) I'd rather watch Vincent Cassell in Eastern Promises 20 more times - now THAT was a character worth his acting skill!

As for the movies themselves, it's sad to say that the only time both my wife and I felt ANY level of investment was close to the very end, when we were waiting to find out whether Constance was going to die. And most of that was due to the extremely convoluted narrative bending that defied logical sense and occasionally space and time. We did not give a shit about anything else, which does not, generally speaking, a great cinematic experience make. And where Part I at least gave us a few moments of levity and a great win for humanity in bisexual Porthos, Part II is merely dark, drab, and joyless.

Final grade for both parts: I give it a C- as a film and a D as an adaptation, in which the only thing that saves it from being an F is Eva Green's hotness.

[animentality]

I haven't combed through all your Gortash posts but know you post about him and the durge a lot, I was curious on your thoughts about him and Lady Jannath being lovers, and when that would have been in relation to to his rise to power and him and the durge getting together?

I may be wrong, but I think Lady Jannath is a descendant of one of the characters from one of the previous Baldur's Gate games, and the lady she's descended from, Liia Jannath, elected Sarevok to the Council of Four?

You know. Sarevok, that Bhaalspawn asshole?

So in game, it's mentioned Jannath was seduced by Gortash, and I can't help but feel like...

This particular family is stupid as fuck, and keeps falling for villains?

And they keep causing crises?

Like come on.

But anyway, to answer your question...

So the note about their "brief but torrid" affair mentions that Gortash was significantly younger than her, and that she was with him because he made her feel young and desirable again. It also mentions that she gave him a valuable Jannath heirloom, a ring worth dozens of mansions?

I highly suspect that seducing Jannath was one of his first steps in gathering funding for himself.

He was raised in poverty, his parents owned a failing cobblers' shop. He was in hell for most of his childhood, I think. When he came back to Baldur's Gate, he probably had absolutely nothing. Now he was in black market arms dealing, but that would take time, to make a name for himself in it.

I think seducing Jannath either gave him more money to work with, or maybe even was his starting money, to venture out of established networks to try and pave his own path into more money and politics.

But since Jannath kept this particular note, I think their relationship must not have ended too badly?

Like you'd think if she hated his guts, she would've thrown it away. It's in her vault, as though it matters to her.

So I think they ended amicably, and that Gortash used Jannath's political connections, and not just her money, to worm his way into the patriars' good graces.

Now as for how it affects his and the Dark Urge's relationship... I kind of doubt it did?

I use the Jannath affair primarily as evidence that Gortash was not above seducing and sleeping his way up.

Did he care about Jannath? Almost certainly not.

Did he care about Franc Peartree, whom he seemed to have a more lurid relationship with too?

Nah.

So why would the Dark Urge really care that Gortash is sleeping around?

First off, they aren't supposed to be dating anyone or making promises or commitments anyway. So they wouldn't want to be exclusive, because uh, they're not supposed to be dating at all. Gortash would have free reign to go after anyone he wants. They would either encourage it or treat it with complete apathy.

But second...the Dark Urge does not resist their own true nature. They would see Gortash's need to ingratiate himself with nobles as something natural to him too.

and as much as I joke about them being jealous...I actually don't think that they, if they had a committed relationship at all, would really be that possessive.

The Dark Urge wants to literally kill everyone on the planet, including Gortash eventually.

I just don't see them getting too pressed about Jannath. They know Gortash doesn't care about her, plus, as I said before, the Dark Urge can't even be with him openly anyway.

Gortash for his part...well.

He doesn't have fondness for anyone, really, aside from the Dark Urge.

He'd have sex with just about anyone who could help him achieve his dreams.

But the Dark Urge would be a whole other subject, because he needs their help, and he likes them...and he would never ever sleep with them just for political reasons.

He sought them out because he knew they were the chosen of Bhaal.

It's one thing to chase after pampered, bored nobles with money to burn.

It's another thing to chase after someone you know is highly dangerous. Someone who's not used to socializing, being charming, or being charmed.

It would be all business, at least at first.

He wouldn't try and seduce them because he's smart and manipulative enough to know not to use the same tactics on everyone. His form of "seducing" the dark urge was saying hey, you want to get some Bhaalian artifacts back from the Hall of Wonders and kill a bunch of people?

And it worked, didn't it?

But he wouldn't have done that with anyone else.

so.

in short.

Jannath would have almost no effect on their relationship at all. I doubt either of them would see her as mattering in the grand scheme of things, and while I don't think the Dark Urge would be interested in anyone other than Gortash, I also don't think Gortash would be interested in anyone the same way he was interested in the Dark Urge.

They were more honest with each other than literally anyone else on earth. they had to be, for their ambitious plan needed to be airtight, known only by the two of them, and Ketheric, a little more distantly.

Jannath would've been...a note scribbled in the margins of a page in the epic novel that is...Durgetash.

[pumpkinnning]

rewatched bridgerton s1 and now i'm trying to understand why it's bad (spoilers) from a writer's perspective

* criticisms about the inaccurate costumes or over the top music or lots of ballroom scenes or lack of serious worldbuilding are silly to me tbh the show makes no pretense to be sth its not, this is like criticizing YA for having emotional teenagers or horror for being bloody. just say its not yr thing and move on

* obviously the interesting themes of sexual education and agency and empowerment are completely fucking ruined by the sexual assault scene that's not framed as such just because the perpetrator is a woman. there's no coming back from that

* even beyond that though the romance is badly done. there are some seeds of sth that could be interesting but it all stays so shallow and underwhelming. the actors have little chemistry i don't like the way Daphne is played

* the scene with Daphne saying she likes Simon's mom's favorite painting bc it reminds her of the peace of early mornings in the countryside and feeling alone yet at one with the world is very charming but also i was like....yes and ? are they gonna bond over liking the peace and quiet together? nature ???? sth else ??? as if it comes across as very...Omg Surprise Woman Capable of 1 deeper thought = hot !!!!! or is it just about her being like his mom (ew). good example of how attempts at depth can fail if they're not connected to deeper themes and character dynamics

* they make each other laugh with sarcastic observations about the behavior of the people around them and the shallowness of social games. like the prince complimenting all the other women's dresses. this would work with characters who are outspokenly critical of society around them. But their connection is that same kind of shallow. And so much of their romance needs us to buy into the social rules and games. The appeal is omg Daphne is the Prettiest and the Diamond and the most specialest girl ever and Omg Simon is this important Duke and isn't it romantic that they're forced to get married for stupid reasons because of honor based rules. And Daphne visibly cares so much about making a good marriage within the rules of society. So these moments feel disingenuous or like they're just being assholes (but without even truly commiting to it and making it fun!)

* the Duke talks about how they're best friends. but i never got that sense of begrudging respect that develops when antagonists start to like each other. Or that they actually liked spending time together. The only thing that i can think about is her punching Berbrooke (he likes boxing so that's an interesting parallel) and making moves on the Prince that force him to consider she's not just a naive little doll. And the bits of witty dialogue. but that's just not enough.

* this is supposedly about Daphne's sexual awakening but yet there is so little real sensuality. she stares at his arms a bit. he tells her to touch herself. its so basic and bland. giving "everyone is hot and no one is horny" vibes. every romance at its core, even the more chaste ones, eroticize something, and the deeper it goes into their characters the more impactful it is. i don't know what this is eroticizing beyond the fact that they're both hot and it's a Good Match tm. the appeal of the innocent virgin vs. rake who is supposed to educate her and show her the wonders of sex is cut down by the fact that he's witholding information, lying and manipulating her the whole time. and not teaching her much either tbh. that's not hot. it's a story that could be interesting if done properly but tbh it doesn't belong in a fluffy wish fullfillment romance, it's too sordid and psychologically complex and unpleasant (like that is horror romance territory lmfao)

* the sex scenes are a key part of this. i'm not against explicit scenes on tv when well done it can really contribute to the dynamics and be really hot (there's nothing wrong w that) but here there is just this fundamental disconnect btw what they're trying to sell us - the focus on Daphne's pleasure, the sense of freedom and liberation after all that repression - and what is actually happening in the plot, him trying to distract her and lying to her. that's not hot and it's weird. secrets and fucked up dynamics can be hot in a sex scene but you have to acknowledge it somehow, not present it as perfect honeymoon bliss. Unless you're in the close pov of a character who's completely unaware - which is not the case here. We know what Simon is doing ! we can't just set it aside.

* the conclusion scene where they're both standing in the rain and she tells him he doesn't need to be perfect to be worthy of love is beautiful in itself. it's a beautiful message. what is so disappointing is how they get there. Simon isn't given the time to heal from his own trauma - he's strongarmed in a way that feels extremely manipulative. She tries to force him to impregnate her against his consent, then she goes through his private correspondence and tries to guilt trip him into changing his mind, judging his deep and private pains and trauma in a flippant way and telling him he should get over it if he actually loves her. of course he shouldn't have lied to her, but that doesn't make her actions ok. the whole thing is just incredibly unromantic to me. there is no genuine growth happening. Simon ends up being a nothingburger of a character bc he is so reactive and one note. when he's pissed he gets drunk and hits stuff. that's basically it until Woman Shows him the Way. the actor tries his best with the smoldering soulful looks. but that only works for a bit.

* there is absolutely an uncomfortable racial element to this. she's an incarnation of this image of white womanhood that is supposedly morally and emotionally superior and is going to teach silly men how to live properly ; i don't like this dynamic much already. it's bioessentialist it puts women on this pedestal that's actually a burden and makes it impossible for them to be truly human ; it's terfy and smug and self righteous and honestly insufferable. And it's much worse when it concerns a man of color

* really it's mindboggling to me that so many people gave the green light to this. but i think it's a testament to the idea that there are some "normal" elements of sex that couples owe to each other, and also that marriage and having babies is the one right way to happiness and health. ofc this wouldn't be strange for the time period - the weird thing is more that they assumed modern viewers would find this romantic, because, again, this is designed to be wish fullfillment, not historically accurate, and the kind of wish this is fulfilling is yucky honestly.

* Daphne is just not a very appealing character by modern standards, tbh. she's very passive, and she cares the most about following the mores of her society and getting the picture perfect ending that is mandated for her as a woman ; whatever agency she develops is strictly in pursuit of that, and she goes about it in this manipulative way with a sense of her own superiority that comes from privilege, sticking to social rules and gender norms. she will have her babies and insure the triumph of the aristocratic heteronormative family. it's, again, not a surprising narrative for the era, but it feels deeply incongruous for a show that handwaves accuracy for the sake of diversity and female empowerment and wish fulfillment everywhere else

* i still remember enjoying the show on first watch until ep 6 - because its light silly frothy tone is just so fun and entertaining, and the side characters are really compelling, and there are just not enough rom coms these days. it's really the saving grace of the show they're able to listen to criticism and were able to change the way they did romance for s2

[melonteee]

The more I hear about the changes in the LA the more I'm glad I stopped after the second episode.

It would be fine if they limited themself to changing how some scenes playout or how some events go in order to fit the thighter run time (I'm not a fan of the change to Zoro eating the ruined riceball in the marine base town but I can see why they did it like that) but changing integral parts of the character's backstories is just unnecessary especially if it makes them worse (Nami's village not knowing of her deal with Arlong).

And it's a shame because the actors seem pretty good from the episodes and clips I have seen and I feel like they could do a pretty faithful interpretation of the straw hats but the script they have seems like an abridged version of One Piece.

Honestly I actually don't know why they changed the riceball scene at all, it would've been an incredibly easy scene to adapt over. Luffy needed motivation to go to the marine base, in the original, Zoro was his motivation. Luffy needed to run into Nami in this version I suppose, but instead of looking for the same map as Nami, he could be running in to collect Zoro's swords and happens to run into Nami breaking into a safe that has both the map and Zoro's swords in it. It would flow much better and show our characters motivations and persons.

In this live action Luffy just literally stumbles across Zoro, not even knowing Zoro is at the marine base. Zoro has no need to be tied up at all, he even gets his OWN swords back ?? Why take his swords from him at ALL?? The original riceball scene was charming because we saw Zoro putting the little girl above himself and YELLING at her to get out due to him knowing she'll be punished if she's seen. We see him rejecting food even though he was starving to prioritise the girl's safety. In this new version, this little girl just offers him food (for some reason?? I genuinely thought they must've known each other) and Zoro rejects it for no reason, just cause he's an asshole here I guess, then HE starts the fight with Helmeppo??

If Zoro didn't reject the food, nor if he just let Helmeppo be, nothing would've happened LMAO he literally instigated the fight. Helmeppo wasn't even a PRESENCE in that bar like he was doing fucking nothing. There is absolutely no showing of Zoro putting anyone's safety above his own or his tender heart in the new scene, it felt more like he was doing it just to piss Helmeppo off for no reason. He even looked Helmeppo in the eye and went "MM, DELICIOUS" when Helmeppo didn't even HEAR that line in the original because it wasn't meant to be Zoro pressing Helmeppo's buttons. I am convinced the reason they changed the fact that Zoro got tied up for MONEY and not for keeping the little girl alive and safe, is because HE would've been the literal cause of that?? LMAO like it was such an absurd change that just makes Zoro look like an asshole

[goddamnwebcomics]

My Not-so-Brief Review of Gene Catlow (Part 6)

In the final part we wrap up the characters talk, as well as talk about my overall thoughts on the comic as a whole.

Characters (Part 5)

And then we have Cydnee. Cydnee starts off good, she is a matagot whose powers were repressed by Jeremy because he is an asshole, and Matt ends up allowing her to become his bride as they take over the planet under Feline Empire. Cydnee and Matt have their differences, Cydnee can sometimes be bratty and even overestimate her influence with Matt, but Matt often keeps her in her place. It’s odd because it’s supposed to be a complete opposite of Gene and Catwhis’s relationship, but it never crosses to the point of abuse. It’s more like a student-mentor relationship than a romantic one, outside of the fucking. And then out of nowhere, Cydnee becomes fucking turboracist against dogs. It starts off as playful banter with Dorzoi, but it becomes more and more violent until Cydnee just straight up wants to murder every dog on Earth. Thankfully Matt finds her racism and her obsession with it very discomforting and it even costs them a mission. Cydnee’s racism really doesn’t make sense in this universe when there are dozens of other species in the universe. It is implied she would become a cat supremacist with her background, but why not make her turboracist against other species as well? Also there’s the whole thing where Cydnee randomly turns into Catwhis, which is implied to be Cydnee trying to predict Matt’s desires, but then we see Catwhis turn into Cydnee and really the whole thing just seems to discomfort Matt.

And speaking of, let’s finally talk about the shining light of joy and happiness, the best character in this comic and my favourite character in all of fiction, Praetor Matthias. Matt starts off as an ambiguous figure Gene has nightmares and flashbacks about, a really ugly cat who once abused Catwhis in their youth. He returns during Friendship Island arc and tries to assassinate Gene, but fails. It is implied Matt desperately wants Catwhis to come back to his life, but why though. Eventually we see more of him during Borzoi arc and there we finally see his true nature in full glory, he is a manipulative and powerful yet charming bastard who understands nature of reality better than any other character. He also manages to come up with a plan in a minute no matter what setbacks he faces. He is intelligent and also very handsome and both men and women want his D. He is also a really good boss, he treats his employees fairly, he lets them leave if they disagree with him, he compliments people when they do good job. He has bad temper sometimes but that seems to stem from his hatred of backstabbers, which is 100% justified, because earlier in this part of the review I had an ENTIRE SECTION dedicated to them. Why would anyone want to backstab such a charming and intelligent hottie? Well, it’s not what he is, but what people SAY he is. Every character that isn’t part of Matt’s group sees him as an evil demon, a monster, a tyrant, a turboracist, an irresponsible and incompetent moron who shouldn’t exist, but who also shouldn’t be killed because “he has already been punished”. Every character knows exactly what he is up to at any given time, whether it’s Gene, Catwhis, Simmy, Friendship Island, Toothy, Jeremy, one of the bodyguards, Dawn and Dusk, Borzoi, Dorzoi, Forzoi, Michelle, Big Cats and even Diane. He doesn’t get ONE FAIR SHOT, his plans are always instantly exposed and figured out. Matt really comes across like an underdog, he is eternally trapped in a game he can’t win because all of his opposition is OP. It would be different if Matt was stupid but he’s not. He’s extremely intelligent, it’s just that his luck just fucking sucks and all his enemies know everything what he is up to. He even gets his powers taken away from him, almost all the members of his group consider leaving at once and his girlfriend becomes a racist that seems to use Matt mainly for dog genocide rather than any real goals. And yes, Matt has done some morally corrupt things but he is more or less 100% justified, because Matt hates, hates, FUCKING HATES Backstabbers. Borzoi backstabs him, he reduces him to a bloody pulp, Webcats consider backstabbing him, Matt sends one of his CGI cat puppets to assassinate them, Dorzoi implies he knows about Matt’s assassination attempt of the webcats, Matt fucking kills him. And when you think that I’ve ranted about his enemies for half of this fucking review, you know that Matt is right, and the universe is out to get him. And yet many characters still think that Matt might CHANGE. I am glad that we will never ever know how Matt would’ve been defeated.

In a nutshell, Matt is a fucking great character, but a terrible villain, because he is the hero in the greater context of this comic. Why else would he share a name with one of the disciples?

And that was all the characters worth talking about in Gene Catlow, and only one quarter of them are likable.

Conclusion

Gene Catlow is a comic I will never forget, I encourage anyone who thinks they’ve seen it all to read it, and try to comprehend it’s themes and messages. Maybe they will find its themes to be genius, and its story to not be as batshit as I thought. Either way, more people should read Gene Catlow.

Albert Temple may not be the most perfect storyteller in the world, but he was very passionate, and seeing him die before his epic could be finished, is tragic to say the least. Nobody deserves it, not Kentaro Miura, not J.R.R. Tolkien, not him. I found myself getting invested in the world he had created, his characters may be many things but boring is not one of them…even if one of the characters was literally named Mr. Boring. I hear stories about Albert Temple being a very sweet and nice guy who was always talking with people. Sure, he may have pulled a harmless long con, but nobody really felt betrayed or angry by that revelation. The more I hear what a kind person he was, the more bad I feel for dragging on his flaws. Yes, you can make bad art even if you’re a good person, but Albert is a special case. His works do deserve to be read and studied by a lot of people. I want his works to receive a fanbase. He will always leave a hell of an impression no matter what he does. That alone makes him one of a kind.

Rest in Peace, Albert Temple. You were loved.

[redfurrycat]

Top Gun: Peacock 🤠+🐓= 🦚 [Part 4]

Due to an inexplicable malfunction of the new F-302 fighter-interceptor, Mitchell Nicholas Seresin-Bradshaw, callsign Peacock, travels back to a time when the suicide mission has already occurred, but his parents aren’t together yet.

[There’s some heavy mutual pining going on though.]

🕰️⬅️⬅️🚀⬅️⬅️🦚

Most Daggers –including Rooster and Hangman– are away on a joint exercise with the US Air Force, except for Phoenix and Coyote who remain on base to teach new recruits. That’s why they’re the first ones to be called by the COMPACFLT himself.

He informs them that earlier this day an unknown aircraft has crash-landed on the aircraft carrier under Admiral Rick Hollywood Neven’s command.

The extraordinary likeness to Lt. Jake Hangman Seresin and the fact that the plane is engraved under the name of Lt. Mitchell Seresin-Bradshaw “Peacock” are enough for Admiral Neven to make a direct call to The Iceman and let him deal with that bullshit. [With the promise to tell him everything afterwards, ‘cause they’re all a bunch of gossipers.]

Mitchell then greets the younger version of his g.o.b.s.m.a.c.k.e.d godparents with an enthusiastic ‘Howdy Auntie Nat! Howdy Uncle Jav!’ and proceeds to kiss his auntie’s cheek and to do the very choreographically-complex handshake with his uncle – who does it automatically as it’s the same he does with Jake every day.

 *

[A few days later. Phoenix, Coyote, and Peacock are at the Hard Deck.]

Mitchell has already charmed Penny with a kiss on the back of her hand and is now happily dancing with the other patrons.

Meanwhile Natasha and Javy are supposed to be playing pool, but they can’t help but watch their godson…

Coyote: Can you believe our best friends are responsible for the most adorable and sweetest godson ever? The best parts of Jake with the best Bradshaw attributes. Dude’s a killer.

Phoenix: I’m frankly relieved Mitchell has not inherited our best friends’ dumbassery. After all, minus one dumbass asshole times minus one asshole dumbass equals one positive smart and nice guy. Maths is beautiful that way…

Coyote, snorting and high fiving her: Nice one, Nat. It also means they get their shit together sometimes in the future. I hope it’s soon. ‘Cause I can’t take anymore of their ‘Bradshaw, as I live and breathe’ & ‘Hangman you look *insert suggestive pause* good’ bullshit routine.

Phoenix, groaning:  Right?! I run out of place to mark a cross each time Bradley gives him a once-over and Jake bites his lips with an hungry look. I’m getting so distracted I didn’t see the COMPACFLT entering the class the other day and almost didn’t stand to attention. How embarrassing!

Peacock calls his godparents and asks them to come over and sing the Great Balls of Fire song with him.

Coyote: Think we can interrogate our godson about this 'Finn' guy? Seems to be a recurrent character in his current/future life...

Phoenix: First one to make him spill the beans pays the other's tab?

Coyote: Deal.

*

[Blame the Everybody wants some! movie that I haven’t seen yet, but Mitchell’s Enemy-turned-Crush is based on Tyler Hoechlin’s Glen’s looks – THEIR FREAKING MUSTACHES DRIVE ME CRAZY!]

Here is Finnegan Noah Stilinski-Hale to become a famous baseball player in the future! I still have to think about how they met (or more likely will meet) …

[part 1] - [part 2] - [part 3] - [part 4] - [part 5] - [part 6] - [part 7]

[still-a-morosexual-help]

@🌹anon asked about my ocs sometime back and as I was answering it rn I accidentally deleted the entire thing😭😭😭😭😭

I'm gonna try and write whatever I remember again✌️:

Yes I did it again (shut up);

I'm such a fucking idiot, I found the "deleted ask" hidden deep in my drafts - apparently it went there when I lost my internet connection but instead of getting saved at the top of my drafts it got saved on the day anon first sent me the ask so somewhere in the middle between other drafts??? Anyway:

!!!You asked for it!!

They were all created for some game or another (characters I'll be able to toss away once I'm done playing the games) But I ended up falling in love with all of them🤡

I can't draw people for shit & I don't wanna describe appearances so I'm gonna use picrews (with links added for anyone who wants to use 'em too)

Starting from first created to last & answering it like I'm making them character profiles for a dating sim (but leaving out the three from Choices 'cause I don't know if they can be considered proper ocs rather than just characters the game handed us? Also leaving out the others from fictif because they're not as well developed)

1. "Lex" Alexandra Lane

(Lex after Lex Luthor and Lane after Lois Lane because I think I'm funny)

[1] , [2]

Origin: Love Island the Game S2

25 at beginning now 26 years (Birthday: November 16th)

5'5"

She/Her

Bisexual

Professional Cellist

English/British because the game didn't give me a choice

Married at 26 (because the game gives you no option), will definitely have a couple kids at some point

No gross out factor - probably ate bugs as a kid. Probably will still eat a bug off the ground if dared to. Biggest point of pride is that she can do a backflip in heels. Loves fashion/beautiful clothes that are usually stupidly expensive. Biting her lip and making bedroom eyes at every single person but really just wants to fall in love and settle down. Hates confrontation/any sort of fight but also really wants to know everything about everyone's business. Good at being the mediator. Always the big spoon. Actually pretty buff - can absolutely bench you.

2. Eliza Ramskin

(Eliza after the official name of the porcelain apple doll sitting in a box on my cupboard but then I decided I didn't want it to stand for Elizabeth so now it stands for "A Lizard" after the rubber gecko pasted on my bedroom wall. Ramskin: a bad pun because of the game)

[1] , [2] (yes the little frog is supposed to be me)

Origin: Obey Me!

23 at beginning now 26 years (Birthday: April 21st)

5'10"

They/Them

Queer

Wildlife Photographer

Has chronic pain

Has a scar over one eyebrow - will smugly tell you a cool story for it. In reality dropped a jar of peanut butter on their face. + top surgery scars

-> Essentially just om! gen MC with a background and name. Have you read my post about gen MC's canon facts? Have you read any of my gen MC theory posts, where I take individual canon facts & connect them to see what happens? Have you read any of my obey me! fics? Can you remember what general MC was like in them? Then you know exactly what Eliza is like. But still, here are some of my favourite parts:

Ambiguously human. Would fight God at 2am in a Denny's parking lot and WIN. They're very lowkey an asshole but underneath that they're kinda nice but underneath that they're a bigger asshole but underneath that they're even nicer and so on and so forth. Surprisingly down for murder. 0 self preservation + 0 shame + 0 fear + max drive & determination + max stubborness + max can do attitude + unconsciously charming + actually pretty strong + danger kink + horny = the world's greatest monster fucker.

3. Len

(Len's short for Lenora which she no longer goes by but irl named after my Lenova laptop, No surname.)

[1] , [2]

Origin: The Arcana

31 years (Birthday: June 7th)

5'11"

She/They

Bisexual

Same occupation as the game's MC

The only one who has a defined body shape in my mind and that body shape is plank of wood

Pitch black eyes that reflects no light. Vague cryptid energy. Stoic, cold yet thin polite smile that seems very surface level. Posture's so good just looking at her makes your back hurt. Warms up once you get to know her; is caring and gentle and understanding and soothing but also stuborn and tough/harsh/strict. Responsible but also has no problem breaking the law if needed. Dreams of travelling the world. Gives off black cat energy but is a dog person. Sadistic in both the sexy and unsexy way. Bad puns. So much untapped potential to be a super villain. I think I accidentally just created a female version of om!'s Lucifer...

4. Vale Knight

(Vale after welcome to night vale which I hadn't watched at the time, Knight from the same place but it's also a pun because of what happens to them in the game)

[1] , [2]

Origin: Last Legacy

28 years (July 10th)

6'0"

They/Them

Queer Polyamorous

Same occupation as the game's MC

Not only are they a weeb they're an ASSHOLE. The kind of person to get stabbed because their first instinct was to mock the mugger. Decided to dye their hair for cosplay once and then went "wait a minute -" A shameless flirt until someone flirts back and then they're a flustered annoyed mess. Had a lot of jobs over the years, currently a barista - doesn't want to be a barista forever but doesn't know what they want to do (other than gaming, watching movies/shows/anime, reading books/comics/manga) until they accidentally discover a passion for medicine and go to nursing school

5. River Bouwmeester

(River after Lake from Infinity Train which I've never watched, Bouwmeester because it's a Dutch surname meaning "master builder" because they work as a home renovater)

[1]

Origin: Monster Manor

27 years

5'1"

He/They

Queer

Same occupation as the game's MC

American (because the game gave me no choice) with probably Dutch origins from their father's side

Couple of big scars here and there

BIG "I can fix him energy". Moves around a lot = not much possibility for a long term stable relationship = oblivious and shy when it comes to romantic attraction. Strong, patient, practical. Very little can rattle them. Came from a long family line of home renovaters/builders (of the magic, strange & weird) but no close living family. Unironically loves bob the builder. Trying very hard to forget about the fact that they're extremely lonely by keeping up a very positive optimistic attitude. Their truck is their pride & joy. Absolutely loves their job even though it's what causes them to move about so much and so makes it hard to form close connections. Very friendly from the first moment but isn't tolerant of anyone's bullshit.

6. Roo Kidd

(Roo after the baby kangaroo from Winnie the Pooh, Kidd because the baby kangaroo was a kid. Surprisingly the actual meanings behind both names fit with their character/circumstances)

[1] , [2]

Origin: Twisted Wonderland

16 years (Birthday January 10th)

5'7"

He/They

Gay Demiromantic Asexual

Wears reading glasses

Lots of small scars from scrapes and scratches all along body

Always cold + loves cute clothes = wearing summer dresses and instantly regretting it. Head in the clouds 7 outta 10 times. Has never felt romantic attraction before - believed they never would and was 100% okay with that - so the one time they did start feeling it went "wow I'm really into this friendship" and stayed oblivious for an annoyingly long time. Also similarly oblivious to romantic attraction directed at them. Kinda klutzy. Big wet eyes. Big bright smile. A ball of sunshine but also really snarky. "This might as well happen" energy. Fast with quick reflexes and a sharp eye for detail. A cunning edge that comes out only during emergencies. Strength of a wet noodle though. Gets a shitty impromptu/accidental haircut that leads to him buzzing it all off and having to grow it back.

[davekat-sucks]

Tangent number #3: aradia leaving sollux behind at the end of the candy epilogues was a terrible idea; consider this a part 2 to that arasol tangent I made about a month ago.

Basically, aradia left sollux on earth C when going with Alternate Calliope and Davebot to pursue Dirk. This completely threw out the perfect opportunity for them to interact more and develop their chemistry, but no. Apparently, Aradia suddenly doesn’t care about her closet friend! Later, when she talks with davebot about him, she doesn’t show any concern for him, thinking “oH hE’s PrObAbLy Ok” and “he found my wiles charming and irresistible” you left him stranded on a tall structure! is that okay to you? I just don’t understand why Aradia would suddenly not care about her (maybe) boyfriend. And since homestuck^2 probably won’t be finished in another 413 million years, we may never know what will happen between them!

In conclusion, Aradia leaving sollux behind was not cash money of her to do, and turned her into an ignorant and uncaring woman.

Thank you all for coming to my 2nd arasol ted talk

Yeah, Aradia in Homestuck^2 was awful. I can try to get that after the events of original Homestuck, she wants nothing to do with the cast and enjoy her life as a revived god tier to watch the sidelines (only briefly taking on Lord English for Tavros' sake because she cares about him too). But to leave the only guy that cares about you, who had MOURNED for you, had felt GUILTY for killing you even if he was brainwashed, who stood by your side to the point he also ignores his other friend KARKAT during events on the meteor both pre and post retcon, it is a kick in the balls for him. If this is WhatPumpkin's subtle way to say she is now 'ghosting' Sollux, like she may had in Act 5 when being Equius' smoochbot, then it is just done in poor taste after all the shit she had set up to make sure her friends could continue the timeline. If it's suppose to parallel her and Davebot/Dave being awful people to leave their loved ones behind as they are both Time Players, then WhatPumpkin just admitted that Dave Strider, who should have been Karkat after Obama told him it was okay to be gay, is just an awful person as Aradia. Why should Karkat care about that asshole that left him? All in all, Homestuck Epilogues and Homestuck^2 are shit. Andrew Hussie and WhatPumpkin suck for ruining these characters. Aradia and Sollux should not be subjected to this bullshit. Nobody in general should have to deal with this bullshit.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ok ok ok. Fairytale/Toon Bandits AU!!! Omg I love it so much. We have to talk about it more ^^ I'm with you in that I don't know which I like more; them staying as bandits or becoming corrupt knights when Doom takes over (there is plenty of potential for power imbalance dynamics for the latter though 👀)

Feel free to ignore this if you wany of course ^^ but I have to offer you how I imagine Shiny and Poppy would be in the Fairytale AU.

Shiny was a character who was never destined for anything greater than cleaning tables and filling ale mugs. She was never written for anything more than providing exposition to some heroic knight that stopped by her tavern before going off to save their princess. And Shiny was one of those fables that didn't know anything about how fairytales worked, or that there was some 'greater force' that chose your destiny.

Until one day, some mysterious wizard came wandering through her inn. It wasn't uncommon to see magical characters around these parts, and Shiny actually enjoyed having them around; they always had something worthwhile to pawn off. But then after some drinks, he started rambling on about 'fairytales' and how everyone has their own fate. At first Shiny thought he was just talking nonsense, until she pickpocketed a mysterious book from his satchel.

She found all sorts of stories, and even some people she recognized as past customers. This was all so entertaining! Until she reached her own story... Which was hardly even a paragraph in the middle of some other person's tale; some rich married baron whom she was supposed to flirt with for his cash, but he proves his loyalty to his wife and gives her nothing... That's it. Shiny was nothing but a foot note in someone else's life.

It wasn't that she was pushed to the side so easily that made her angry; why should she care about some rich asshole and whether or not he would cheat on his wife for her? But rather, it was the fact that there was nothing for her. This force had made all these grand destinies for all these people, and she was just meant to be eye candy to drunkards and refill ale mugs?? That was her 'destiny'!? So, Shiny made a decision that night. If she was designed an utter crap pile for a life, then she would go out and make her own story.

Breaking the rules, Shiny left the tavern the next night and set out on her own. Using her skills of seduction and slight of hand to slip through towns. She honestly hadn't known what she wanted to do. But she knew she didn't want to rot away in one place. She picked up more skills along her travels, and became a sort of traveling entertainer. She would go town to town, singing and dancing about all the sights she had seen and people she met. But she never lost her thieving trickster side, and has gotten in trouble numerous of times.

Perhaps she has ran into the dreaded weasel bandits a handful of times on her travels? Being one of the few people who managed to escape them with all, if not most, of her valuables and her life. She has many stories, especially of the amourous green one. And maybe, she runs into them again, only this time they are on the side of the law and are ordered to arrest her.

(So basically, girl pulled a Freida. Minus the whole 'taking over the kingdom' thing XD)

~

Poppy was born into a high class family, though they didn't have too much influence. Her parents were considered Lord and Lady at most. They wanted to climb the social ladder, and saw their daughter as nothing more than their ticket. From etiquette to education, they did their best to make Poppy the perfect wife for any prince or knight. As was her story was written as.

Her whole life, she had been taught she was meant to be nothing but perfection, and anything less wouldn't be tolerated. She was never treated like a daughter, just a tool. Despite the luck of being in a wealthy family, Poppy felt alone, and just wanted to make someone happy. Then, she met a peasent boy named Henry; a charming fox who easily got to her with false words of endearment. Poppy had planned on introducing him to her parents. Until she found out they were going to marry her off to a Duke she never met by the name of Ben. That was when she decided to finally take her life into her own hands.

Looking back, she realized she should have seen his betrayal coming when he convinced her to steal some of her families riches to take with them. But she had been so in love with Henry, she would have done anything for him. She could only see him outside of rose tinted glasses after he took all the money and ditched her the second he got the chance.

Abandoned and heartbroken though, she knew she couldn't return to her parents. She didn't want to live under their thumb again- assuming they hadn't disowned her straight away for stealing from them. So, despite her fear of what could be out here, Poppy set off on her own.

She learned some things, met new faces, and even briefly stayed with a huntsman named Moony. But eventually, Poppy made it to the kingdom that someday Doom would take over. She applied for a job as a chambermaid in the castle, and that became the place she could finally settle down and call home. Ever since then, she has refused to use her family's name O'Hare when introducing herself, and tries to forget her upper-class heritage. All she wants is to start anew.

She is afraid of people finding out her true identity as the runaway lady. Someone might try to take her back to her family and intended betrothed in hopes of a reward. Maybe the weasel bandits have heard of this wanted woman and have kept an eye out for her for easy cash? Or maybe, if they're the guards for the new king, Poppy would have to work in close proximity to them? In a position that's beneath them no less? (*cough power imbalance cough*)

And that's their stories! They both were destined for different stories, and they both created their own lives ^^ I hope you liked reading these!

(Also, I forgot to add Shiny to the Dragon Patrol ask, so I'll just put it here so I don't add an additional ask to your inbox. I'm not sure if Shiny would be a BAMF tavern keeper that is one of the few people who will go toe to toe with the dragons, or if she's a dragoness who visits the dragon patrol sometimes, takes a liking to princess Poppy... Ngl my heart wants to go for lesbian dragon, but what do you think?)

(there is plenty of potential for power imbalance dynamics for the latter though 👀 Exactly (; Haha XDD

Ahh, I love this AU too!! We DO need to talk about it more!!

And- y e s ! I loved reading these!! Shiny pulling a wholesome Frieda is perfect 👌 I'm so happy and excited for her, I love this story so much!! Like, I would watch the h e l l out of this movie about this grog wench woman, err, 'finding' this mystical book and having a laugh about it until she realises its real... she's just supposed to be some short-lived temptation for a loyal husband??!... And then going fuck that and travelling!! She is an aesthetic!!

And Poppy <3<3<3 I love that her story isn't as Fantastical i guess, but she turns out happy ^^ Its simple, she wins, she breaks free and she gets to live on her own terms now. Oh, its the DREAM!

LESBIAN DRAGON SHINY AND A PRINCESS POPPY YES!! I definitely like that one best!! XD Imagine Shiny getting possessive of her when it comes to the other dragons (The Toon Patrol), and taking her away but its okay because she treats her nicer- gentler- and Poppy's quite happy to stay with her. She has reservations ingrained in her still as, you know, this is a dragon (You cant have a relationship with a dragon!?? Can you!? No, its impossible and its... weird-) but there are these feelings she's struggling to fight. How long will it take her to let the beautiful terrifying dragon make her her mate?

[cornytheclown]

Part 2/3 of my Fates Villains Character Analysis series at 1am.

Up next is Hans

Hans

Much like Iago, he is also a major asshole. Unlike Iago, he is a very different breed of ass. Hans is much Much more of a sadist and brute, practically reveling in the bloodshed that he brings.

He started from the bottom as a lowly crook. A horrible criminal apprehended by Prince Xander of Nohr himself…but released and promoted to Commander of the Army by King Garon (who at this point is possessed by Anankos and is off his rocker). He Swears that he’s rehabilitated though! He’s learned his lesson, he’s not gonna be a violent man anymore!

Right off the bat, he’s sent to follow Corrin and the crew off on a mission to check on the old fort. And Right off the bat, Hans screws over everyone involved by killing a Hoshidan guard on standby, for seemingly no reason. And ends up starting problems - he causes problems On Purpose. Though, they do find out not too long after (in Conquest) that this was part of Garon’s plan in the first place, so Hans isn’t as meat-headed as you’d think. He’s just following orders!

Throughout the game in his appearances, you can see just how much Hans loves to kill. If you thought Iago had disregard for human life, Hans straight up mows down people for fun! He takes so much pleasure in the pain and murder of others, the more gruesome, the better! The way he killed Scarlet says it best - off with her head in Revelations, and off screen in Conquest (you could only imagine what he had done to her there).

I think it’s fair to argue that, no Garon, Hans is not a rehabilitated, changed man who found Jesus in prison.

But he’s not Just a killing machine who loves to murder and kill and maim. He actually has some pretty strong ambitions, and follows his orders well enough as a surprisingly well suited commander.

Granted, his method of training his men is having them kill each other. Despite an unorthodox and probably detrimental method, he’s able to command an army pretty well for a man straight out of jail.

And it’s more than being a commander that he wants - Hans is looking to go All The Way to the Top! Much like Caellach of Sacred Stones, his goal is that of Rags to Riches - clawing his way up from being a crooked brute to a corrupted king of his own kingdom.

This was something mentioned in his appearance in Heroes so I don’t know if it’s mentioned in game as well in Fates, but you can tell that he’s more than willing to follow Garon’s orders and command his troop. For such a barbaric man, he has a strong loyalty towards Garon. Though, I suppose if the King bailed you out of the slammer and hired you to be his commander in the army in return, you probably wouldn’t bite the hand that fed you.

And given Hans’ strong ambitions in mind, sticking loyal to the King seems like the best way to go. Garon seems pretty open minded about the slaughter of innocents these days anyhow, so that’s something that he can get behind.

He’s not above throwing other people under the bus to get to where he wants to be either. He threw Corrin under the bus after Cheves, claiming all of that slaughter and such was mostly Corrin’s doing.

Okay seriously, every other chapter he’s in in the games, he’s killing someone. Civilians and War Prisoners - even ones that weren’t supposed to be killed, It’s mentioned that many of his crimes include Robbery and Murder, but this man would be a serial killer if given the chance, if he hadn’t been already! The fact that it’s war is a good enough excuse for him to throw his hands up and be like “Welp, might as well kill them all!”

There’s art that Kozaki made of a very well dressed Hans with two ladies, each on one of his arms, and I wanna say that’s canon too. Hans absolutely gets bitches when he’s not killing it on the battlefield.

The fact that he’s more than capable of turning on the charm and scoring outside of battle makes the theory of him being a serial killer even more likely. There are a lot of serial killers who are notoriously charismatic, and it’s often how they’re able to mask their true nature so well and avoid being caught. I might be thinking too deep into this art piece but I dunno. I don’t think it would matter to Garon though, or Iago. Just means that he’s perfect for the position.

I don’t think Hans is that deep of a guy overall. He’s a simple man with simple desires: Murder and Power. He was once a lowly Brigand sentenced off to jail, but now he’s a free man and given the power to command an army. All without any sort of remorse for his previous actions.

The only thing he truly wants is to go even higher beyond his own station, and to kill as many people along the way. A true sadist at heart. He will kill anyone whose Not even in the way, if he so wants to. As long as he can get ahead in his goals regardless, then it’s alright! He’s loyal to Garon both for the opportunity he gave him and also to get him higher up on the ladder and closer to becoming king himself!

That’s all he wants - to become King and to kill people. All while getting tail on the side probably. I think that simplicity is what makes him such an entertaining character to me. He’s 2 dimensional for a reason, there’s no tragic backstory or any justifiable reasoning for what he does. He’s just a horrible man. It would’ve been nice to maybe see more of him expressing his ambitions, maybe expanding on that but personally, Hans is perfect the way he is!

As a character.

Seriously I think almost everyone would be dead if Garon didn’t have a hold on Hans like he does after freeing him. The pursuit of his personal goals is the only reason why he hasn’t just tried to outright murder everyone both on the opposite side and his.

I don’t have a lot of Misc HCs for Hans tonight, other than him frequenting the pubs and being a surprisingly successful ladies man. And also having some kind of affair with Iago on the side.

Hans is like 90% straight, but I think he and Iago have smth going on between them. You can’t tell me those two hadn’t hooked up once or twice while on missions or between.

Ain’t no way.

[junepegbert]

writing out my thoughts on kr agito as i'm watching them so i don't forget them later (currently finished episode 9)

this was definitely the best episode so far even if it introduced us to multiple things and then killed some of them off to add more mystery. this series hasn't done a good job of mysteries so far which is a shame because that's what they're going for, but i don't care for the amnesia plots at all. the police procedural stuff remains the most interesting part outside of gills and i'm finding hikawa a lot less obnoxious now that he's not a rider as well. houjou is a very one note asshole character currently and i kind of enjoy that as he does provide good enough drama for the other characters to have to deal with. shouchi still bothers me because there doesn't feel like a reason for him to be the main rider yet which *could* be the point but they're doing it poorly because i've seen other shows do main riders who aren't your standard hero/more of an everyman given a chance type thing and this just doesn't do that. both because shouchi is so uniquely privileged and spoiled in all of his actions while still giving off this kind of humble down to earth guy thing that doesn't at all feel earned. this show is trying to make a "more realistic" version of kr kuuga and right now it's failing at every front of that. while shouchi is a similar character to godai in a lot of basic ways, he lacks any of the charm or passion from godai either. i should like the show giving this type of free spirited character more realistic consequences or reactions from others, most people don't like shouchi until they know more about him but while it's doing that it's still giving shouchi to quick of an out to every problem. take mana thinking he killed her dad right, that resolves itself within the episode with nothing except her internal monologues and struggles but the end result is "no that couldn't've happened, shouchi is too sweet of a guy to do that!" and it really feels shitty to have a character that other people textually get to dislike or be weirded out by but at the end of the day he has to be given grace because he's soooooooo nice. it feels very bad to watch. and again, him being a kamen rider really means nothing right now. all the actual rider drama happens with the police unit or gills' struggles, all that happens with shouchi is he gets the feeling he has to go be a rider, he drops everything and rushes to do that, and then he is just suddenly this badass killer of monsters. and i am well aware it's an amnesia plot, we're supposed to wonder how he's like this or how the rider stuff and amnesia are related but it doesn't work at all. they keep doing stuff where shouchi is portrayed as too nonviolent or hippie like but then he stops being a character as soon as a threat shows up for him to be the unspeaking badass for. and the unknowns also break up the flow of the story so much, i enjoy all the episode until they show up which sucks because they are cool monsters!!!! they have cool things they do uniquely and really good suits!!!!!!!! but as said with shouchi, everything stops with them which *could* be a point about how dangerous they are but it instead makes the show drag even more than it already is

whatever. i'll keep going though