#asking if I am truly ok

[asavt]

Trying to make sense of the thoughts in my head.

[chasedeys]

https://www.tumblr.com/chasedeys/769504049256169472/from-sportscenter

The flinch is proof Joe be putting his hands on him lmaooo 😭😭😭🥹

a whole preview of their ufc matches 😭😭 does he have to be dialed up 24/7 constant vigilance from the possibility of joe coming at him for whatever reason.....

he did say that joe does flying kicks when he annoys him too much lmaooooo smushing a donut to his face mid-live interview does warrant a fight i fear. what would happen if there were no cameras on sight? the thought haunts me i won't lie.

[padfootastic]

snippets! more snippets! snippets for days!

“So, first major event was Halloween. Somehow, a troll got loose in the school, intent on causing mischief and mayhem.

“A troll?” Sirius paled. “Please tell me that’s a—a euphemism for something.”

“Siri, ew, oh my god,” Harry gagged, turning his face away from his unrepentant godfather and his ‘it’s still better than an honest-to-Merlin troll, Harry James’

“Suddenly, I’m very glad that there troll was not a—was just a troll. It was during the Halloween feast—“

“I do wonder about that day, you know. It feels so cursed.”

“You have no idea,” Harry muttered bitterly before continuing. “Anyway, so, it was the middle of the feast, Quirrell comes to warn us about the mountain troll in the dungeons before doing a dramatic faint right there, in front of everyone, and Dumbledore sends us all off to our dormitories.”

There’s a beat of silence before—

“The dormitories?”

Harry looked up to see Sirius staring at him, aghast. A small smile tilted his lips on one end. “Mhm.”

His godfather takes a deep breath. “Let me get this straight. You have a mountain troll in your school, which is supposed to be warded to high heaven and back, and your Headmaster tells you to wander through the hallways, where said troll could be lurking, to get to your dormitories??”

Harry nodded. “Yes.”

“What about the damn Slytherins? Their dorms are literally in the dungeons. They might be annoying but they don’t deserve to be killed by a thirty feet tall idiot with bad breath.”

“You know,” Harry mused, head tilting in thought, “you might just be the first, and only, adult to consider that. I’m not sure it ever even hit me until now.”

“What.”

“No one cares about the Slytherins, Sirius.”

“What—“

“I mean, I’m not saying they shouldn’t, just that they don’t. Don’t look at me like that, c’mon.”

“Harry, I have no idea what’s going on right now. It feels like I went on a weekend bender and never woke up, you’re literally two minutes in and there’s a mountain troll, a weird professor, a latently homicidal Headmaster, and still no Voldemort. How do I even react to this?” Sirius’ hands moved around frantically as he spoke, getting daste and more erratic with each word.

[finncakes]

:/

[rowenabean]

.

[rolandkaros]

thoughts on naomiga 🎤

truly fascinating. not endgame to me. imo 'right person wrong time' kind of thing. iga with the most embarrassingly obvious schoolgirl crush. honestly understandable. good for all young gays to get at least one of those out of the way u know its like character building or something. u think ur whole self revolves around this person to the point that a concerning number of decisions you make are consciously or subconsciously influenced by them. and at some point you have to wake up to recognize most of the affection was in your head and the precious little that wasn't was not intended to mean everything you had hoped. so you double down on reinvention of the self and it kind of helps but at least you are good enough that nobody will talk about how obviously down bad you were for someone you looked up to who only ever saw you as a friend.

anyways naomi left when iga really exploded and was having the season of her life and then she came back to iga as solid #1 tour leader etc etc etc...like seeing a good friend for the first time in years and realizing they've grown without you. first you meant something to who they were as a person. shaped them, even. and now they're different but you can't really complain because they're also better. so it feels like you lost a seat at the table. but its also a seat you probably weren't meant to have to begin with.

[nibbelraz]

shang qinghua x tianlang-jun? they're both luo binghe's deadbeat dads in two very different ways, and i think it would be neat if they held hands

I think they both try to show their support sometimes

[the-lark-ascending69]

I loove the android robin au it's really one of the most interesting au I have seen in a while.

I am always happy to see new post abt it

Also making my favourite characters go through hell and then receiving comfort from their people is like the best thing ever for me so every time I see a whump!Robin post I like automatically

People loving android!Robin makes me so happy anansnssndsnsns she's curious and excitable and full of wonder and the world keeps punishing her for simply being alive. Sometimes it's too painful even for me, big whump lover 😭😭 though seriously, there is not enough Robin whump, and while all the characters in the show are very whumpeable, hurting my little blorbo Robin feels special because... she's just so deeply lonely. She's lonely and she thinks she deserves to be because of something wrong with her (pulling this interpretation from Surviving Hawkins lore which is canon to me 😭). That was a big idea I had when I first came up with android!Robin... that there is something wrong with her. Broken. In this AU she's literally broken in a lot of way (battery and memory problems, weak joints in her lower half, etc), but that's all within the range of normal robot problems. The real issue with her is that she's sentient. It terrifies people because it really brings out the existencial horror of... well, existing. It terrifies Robin most of all. She is the problem. She is what's wrong with her. She shouldn't exist.

But at the same time, she loves being alive so much! She doesn't understand it and doesn't know how it happened, but it happened, and now she's real and wants to experience life and the world and know people like human beings do. So it's her constant battle to become human despite humans having hurt her so much in the past... only for Nancy to already see her as human. Just one made of metal and plastic, but human nonetheless. She's the first person to see her that way and maybe everyone else thinks she's crazy, but Nancy is used to that. She's so sure of this, though, of Robin's self-awareness. She trusts her so blindly. She doesn't even need proof. And not only does she believe her, but she defends her humanity in front of her friends and family so ardently, fighting so hard for Robin to be aknowledged by everyone else as human. Fighting so hard to give her a home and family for the first time in her life.

Nancy has it bad for Robin, really. She's just so in love, even if everyone else thinks she's crazy for falling in love with a machine (no one thinks she is, though, because they all know Robin, and once you know Robin, it's impossible not to love her).

[labellefleur-sauvage]

hello! i hope you're doing well and i just wanted to say that i love all of your work! you have such a beautiful way with words and insane talent <333

i was also wondering whether you'd be up for writing something torturously heartbreaking for nessian??? i know it would never happen bc they're obsessed with each other and there would never be anyone else but i think a cheating thing would be interesting to read 😭 like if cassian cheats? or then (although they are going to live ETERNALLY TOGETHER), maybe something where one of them dies? like cassian's reaction to nesta's death or vice versa?

much love to you!!! 🩷🩷🩷

This is so so kind, thank you so much!

I will be the first to admit: I am a huge wimp. A big baby. I cannot handle too much angst or sadness in books, fics, any media, frankly. At this time, I don’t see myself writing anything angsty or toxic for any couple, unless there was some massive twist or misunderstanding involved.

BUT I fully understand most people don’t feel the same as me and want those angsty, toxic feels. I asked some of my Nessian friends for fic recs and this is what they gave me!

Can’t Help It by @moodymelanist. Honestly, her entire Nessian catalog is impressive and wonderful so here’s her entire Nessian masterlist. Also worth mentioning Paint It Red, especially if you’re in the mood for major character death.

Daughterofthesea on AO3 has some soft and angsty fics.

Also on AO3, theteaqueen is also very good for Nessian angst

Wonderland by @c-e-d-dreamer in which Nesta breaks the mating bond with Cassian

Somewhere by @thewayshedreamed for an ongoing toxic Modern AU

Finally, It Looks as Though You’re Letting Go by @xtaketwox. An ongoing soulmates AU fic tagged as “you’re going to suffer but you’re going to be happy about it” on AO3.

If I missed anyone or anyone else has fic recommendations or wants to shout out their own works, please feel free to comment and reblog!

[cannibalisticskittles]

saw someone say they didn't get the people with 'older rooks' romancing emmrich bc they made their rook 19/20 to play up the drama and uh

girl i don't know what kinda drama you think you're intensifying because it certainly isn't going to be romantic, emmrich already has hang-ups about age, he is not going to fall for a goddamned teenager

and even besides that, the timeline of the game establishes that rook has been traveling with varric for about a year, and with some backgrounds, the event that made rook leave their faction and start them on the path to meeting varric could have happened weeks to months before that

in no universe would varric see a fucking 17 year old and decide yep, that's who's gonna get a crucial part in stopping a plot that could end the world

[ssreeder]

AHHHHH i can’t believe Katara knows. And from Ara. And all of it at once, that’s gonna be a lot to process. Anyways I LOVED the chapter and CANNOT wait for the next one ( you always have to torture us with cliffhangers, don’t you? (Hah but i kind of love it a little bit))

I’m reaally excited for the next chapter the latest one made my week once again :)

What’s that meme? The one with the kid smirking back at the camera as the house burns in the background?

That’s Ara.

But in all honesty, I don’t think she truly understands what she just did, haha - not that she’d care much... haha, Ara is in her ‘IDGAF gurl mode’ so it’s probably better she’s leaving the compound. after one million words it’s finally time for her to put on her big girl pants on and actually take control of her life,,, away from the people she traumatized and who traumatize her. GOOD LUCK ARA!! WE WISH YOU THE BEST! (Well… some of us do haha… some still cry for her head on a stick)

I AM GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE UPDATE AND SUPER SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE NEXT EVEN WORSE CLIFF HANGER………..

[twpsyn-who]

OMG I I wgehejej I was writing a post about some soulmate AU and and while writing it just occurred to me-

Both Jean and Marco lost their gear during Trost. They both got in a situation where a Titan was going to kill them while having nothing to protect themselves.

Marco was there to help Jean get hold of a gear and survive. Jean wasn't there for Marco aka why he died.

Omg. I'm not crying you are

[grahamcarmen]

Dumb question but you keep mentioning how Carmen broke the window and I don't really get it, could you elaborate.

Its really not a dumb question LOL

I think im the only one who freaks out with that specific phrase when i mean

SHORT VERSION:

The absolute iconic way they framed the way carmen breaking the window in the himalayas

I relish the dramatic way its framed and how beautiful it looks that his face is so red compared to the rest of the episode and the shards of glass bite at the edges while she says goodbye and he does his little :( 

But personally it feels like a layered decision when it come to both carmen and gray’s mentalities to visualize it as a break in a window

And even if it wasn’t its layered TO ME!!!!!

And thats just how my brain words it lol

LONG VERSION

You know what’s real cool? Gray was stuck in that little room. stuck with professor maelstroms version of who he was since he was VILE aligned and his own convictions on who he is

and the window plays a bit part in it?

His memories of carmen on the kiwi date telling him he’s a good person  [even tho after his memories return he accepts he’s not] are from him zoning out while looking at his reflection in the window

And then maelstrom projecting the memories of who he was in between the window and him and AGAIN carmen’s memory interrupts and breaks him out of his solemn acceptance of “darkness” and “authority�� that the VILE memories and Rorschach test riles up in him

Because why oh why does someone as good as carmen exist there?

she literally shouldn't be anywhere near there yet she is???

And the final time the big old window is his backdrop to reclaiming Crackle while admitting that he DIDN’T want to kill her, it was the thing he actually perceives as WRONG WRONG WRONG since its the only thing he regrets doing on VILE’s orders

and a part of him even hopes that care he has will not have to leave the room if she will just stop

AND SHE BREAKS THE WINDOW!

The real her is there, saying goodbye and HIS FACE FALLS!

she broke it!

the world isn’t just VILE and him 

It's her too. 

Its not just that little room and all he knows in there!!! 

No he doesn’t just get to chalk it down as something he can run away from

A small precious part he can ignore as something in the past

some happenstance friendship that doesn't matter anymore

He hated hurting her but she will always exist in the world alongside VILE as long as its there for her to fight…

For him to…o.o do what crackledude?

choices are coming

VILE exists and he chose that, chose crackle!

But carmen exists too!

SHE BROKE THE WINDOW!!!

SHE SAID BYE GRAY!!!! AND HIS! FACE! FELL!

Carmen isn’t just a fabricated memory or an anomaly in what he knows! She’s there!!!

And she broke the space where he’d been assembling everything he chose to be more open to include the outside!!!!!

SHE EXISTS IN HIS BRAIIIIIN!!!!!!

SHE WILL CONTINUE TO EXIST OUTSIDE OF THE ROOM!!!!

AND IT STILL HURTS A LITTLE!!! DOESNT IT!!!!!!

THAT CHOOSING VILE IS CHOOSING GOODBYEEEEEEEE!!!!

[Extra fun.]

You know this moment where she tells gray off about how stealing isn’t a game? Especially when lives are on the line and he side glances at the window?And again how he was just facing that window before carmen tries to call him back ?

…

Because he doesn’t regret anything ?? feel bad enough about anything to change for the better?

…but she broke the window. His only regret is literally right there on de window .

SHE’S RIGHT-

SHE BROKE THE WINDOW!!!!

[Extra extra fun]

 You remember how carmen has no problems roundhousing him if he’s gonna be so rude [try and kill her] and the window doesn’t break and thus creates a neat little barrier between the criminal she lets get caught and her just returning to her new routine?

But we get the small brainwashing arc and that barrier fakes a disappearance?

Only for the truth to come back [he isn't gonna get magicked into being a good guy just so carmen can make the thing separating them something nobler she could accept]

And if he’s gonna make terrible choices well then he’s made his choice and they’ll go separate ways again

BUT THIS TIME SHE BROKE THE WINDOW!

SHE CAN TELL HIIM ITS OVER! GOOD!BYE!

And yet she’s less triumphant when she looks back? And has to acknowledge that distance and that follows her into her life for a second

there's a crack now in how she treats the fact of their estrangement 

A little more honestly [imo] than how she was initially gonna act like

The opera episode gave her that little room to say “I thought i lost him for good but this could be -” and now when the answer is still “we are enemies” she actually can’t just patch up the barrier between them as easily!!!

not when she saw that second chance and wanted it!

Not when she went there with so much hope no matter how misled it might've been [she’s soooooo not normal at all for this its great]

She’s looking back even as she’s saying goodbye on that broken window!

And then it happens again! tho to be fair in VERY different circumstances, conditions, etc.

She’s over it!

She can even kill him with no hesitation and even a bitter little remark at how this is on him because he’s a little traitor

…

AND SHE! BREAKS! THE ! WINDOW!

ON HER WAY OUT!

And when here memories are out she’s stuck with just that window

Like the show doesn’t even let her go to his body omfg

its

Not a break like gray on the train where its him trying to kill her and her rightfully defending herself that cools the relationship quickly into its most simple core of you are my enemy!

[but neither has broken through the actual barrier of what's nestled deep in them ->they do care they both just have some growing to do to accept this in a healthier way butthatsnotthepointimsorryi-]

Not a break like VILE did in the jail where she can separately mourn that its them who keeps getting in between her rescuing* him

Its …her.

SHE! BROKE! THE! WINDOW!

SHE BROKE IT! SAYING IT DIDN’T MEAN A THING!!

BEING SINGLE MINDED ON A GOAL AND GIVING HIM WHAT SHE THOUGHT HE DESERVED* AND HITTING THE ROAD! CAUSE SHE CAN LIVE WITH IT! RIGHT????

Gray as who she wanted him to be the most is who she killed and ran away through a broken window

gray the vile agent

gray her failed rescue mission

gray who changed but had done something horrible once upon a time and that hurt came back to haunt them

And this is a carmen who already in normal version was betraying the fact that she wasn’t ok with him being gone

[and imo dark!carmen throwing the crackle in his face was a betrayal of hurt too]]

AND IT BREAKS HER HEART! SHE KILLED HIM!

HE’S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A WINDOW SHE BROKE IN HER GRAND GETAWAY AND SHE THINKS SHE CAN’T UNDO WHAT HAS BEEN DONE!

IT BROKE IT BROKE! 

The broken window is as close as she gets to him at that moment.

Of course. It would be devastating to her.

any mask that she could cobble together that "losing gray isn't that bad for her" is just like ----aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

...and i dieeeeeeeee

-> sorry i rambled but the breaks in the windows also mean TO ME!!! that carmen is also having a shift in her thinking slightly as well

she's always been pretty bummed to part with gray but the window breaks feel like no. carmen i- i think pretending its just how it be is... its kinda deeper than that for her no matter how strong she has to be at whatever moment to move on for now

she broke the barrier, she can't pretend she's actually accepted it in any type of ok way no matter what led to the separation happening

Extra extra extra fun detail fun for me

The window kinda looks like a broken crackle rod to me with the way its a light green strip in the middle of 2 dark strips lol

[sunsafewriting]

new do a flip chpater will be up tomorrow night :D it's 10.5k and was very uncooperative but is now in final editing / touch ups etc :D

[stardustdiiving]

I would read your zhongxiao codependent yuri Like, I do generally picture them as a vaguely father/son dynamic BUT THAT IS NOT CANON. It's just as much fun to view them through a romantic interpretation! Idk why people can't view the same characters in different kinds of relationships without being weird about it.

Anyway I love your vision and would love to hear more about it lakdjs

THANK U SO MUCH Im not sure if I’m gonna write zx in the future since I’ve tended to be shy about posting my stuff relating to them for over a yr now, but I did post this fic with them last year while trying to get a hold on how to write them (mind the tags it’s pure angst omg). I was too shy to tag it as ship since it didn’t feel shippy enough, which is kind of funny to me in hindsight bc I reread it and am like. Man I think only a zx shipper would write this NUFNVJVJV

Post got kind of lot Im gonna go on a tangent about them under the cut

Honestly my theory for why ppl r very set on the father/son interpretation is everyone’s immediate thought on to how to make the power imbalance between them seem less uncomfortable is to apply a parental interpretation to it. Which is fine ofc, I get it, but the way ppl push it as canon a lot kind of grates on me a little bc they’re usually incredibly passive aggressive and pushy even if u clearly designate ur post as ship OTL

Also not really a fan of the characterizations either since ppl tend to treat Xiao like a moody teenager Zhongli has to reel in (this is hilariously reminiscent of the post I made about how ppl handle scaramouche and nahida a bit ago haha). And idk I just feel kind of polarized about the headcanon overall bc I associate it with people being really uncomfortable and frustrating about zx

I just like how there’s sort of an imbalance to them, some zxs like them being more fluffy and functional but I sort of like it where it’s not like, entirely dysfunctional but I’m prioritizing a specific kind of character study over romance. This tends to be how a lot of my ships go ngl I just sometimes enjoy the intensity/intimacy of romantic feelings thrown into the mix if it makes it interesting but I’m not often interested in a lot of my ships following more standard romance plots(?) I guess? Unless it’s specific ones. Which sounds clinical when I put it like that but this is just bc I am very aromantic NHFBVJVJ

When I say codependency in zhongxiao honestly it’s sort of a theoretical(?) codependency—not sure how to word it? I think Xiao would be really fucked up if he didn’t have Zhongli in his life suddenly but I don’t think his relationship with getting attached to people invokes what people would majorly think of when they think of codependency in a ship I suppose. It’s moreso I just feel Xiao could be at his worst with dehumanizing himself in comparison to other people with Zhongli, because said mental state is driven by how he feels about debt, service, and duty which are very closely tied with devotion and how he would feel about someone he considers his god and leader, as well as someone who saved him

It’s fun this is paired with Zhongli who generally knows how to work with Xiao kind of understands the self destructive depth Xiao’s loyalty/devotion comes with. Also fun they have been around each other for a very long time and Xiao as one of the adepti is familiar with the past I think Zhongli appreciates having around. They work but it’s also a case where Zhongli is in such a position of power over Xiao its kind of very delicate situation that’s hard for both of them to navigate. Which is fun to explore. I esp love contrasting it with other Xiao pairings (actually i think i still have that xiaoven fic up on my ao3 where I tried to convey a specific interpretation of them in a similar exploration vein too)

I totally get why people wouldn’t like it (I feel a lot of my opinions on xiao ships just clash with a lot of fandom consensus so bad all the time And it’s just bc I’m like this I’m not even trying to be contrarian or anything. HELDINCJD) but I just tend to handle shipping in a specific way. It’s not I don’t enjoy fluffy or lighthearted zl and xiao stuff I actually enjoy it a lot I just like there being layers. This makes it feel more impactful when I think about how Zhongli looks out for Xiao in canon or how Xiao gets like textually flustered talking to him (lantern rite 2023 was so tailored to my tastes it’s not even funny)

[superm4ks]

WEC, I will be there

period wasnt verstappen.com aiming to have 2 cars running in gt3 by 2025 how much u wanna bet that as we speak bro is thinking about saying fuck it and being inside 1 of them