#submerge and awaken: sae

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a shooting star in his hand - sae x f!reader fluff, first meeting, cafe meet cute

He's been in line for 15 minutes.

Granted, it's not really anyone's fault. You, standing in front of him, have said your order with polite clarity, a gentle smile on your face directed to the barista in front of you that has "TRAINEE" on a metal plate. There's a woman behind her showing her how to steam the milk, telling her to put the bagel in the oven.

Learning takes time. Sae, too, knows this. Most people don't wake up with abilities built into them, not like his brother did the first time they played football together. Sae didn't. He held the ball at his feet almost as soon as he could walk. He let it eclipse his life, rotated around it like the earth does to the sun, until he knew it to perfection, to both creation and destruction.

But he'd appreciate if learning didn't happen when he was the only other person in line on his way to the stadium.

"Sorry about that." You're looking at him. Talking to him, he processes a little too slowly this morning.

He takes in your body language clinically, the way you're tapping your fingertips over the back of your phone case, your tilted head and nervous smile.

The fireburn of irritation behind his eyes falls immediately, like a weight dropped, and the calm lake of his usual demeanor returns. "It's fine."

That's the reassurance he's supposed to give, right? You turn to peer over the counter, and a keychain dangles from the zipper of your bag.

"Blue Lock?" He says it before he can stop himself, more shock than anything else.

"Hm? Oh!" You hold the keychain delicately in your palm, the glean of it catching the light the same way your smile does. "Yeah! One of the guys who was in it lives in my building. He was holding this whole box of merch for the anniversary a couple months ago? He handed me one in the elevator."

"You watch?" You're beaming up at him, but you seem more nervous about your food than you do talking to him. He's trying to see if…

"Oh, nah. I don't really watch sports. Do you?"

So that explains the lack of recognition. "I play."

"Oh! Football? Oh, that's hella cool." Words flow casually for you, an easygoing melody. "I always wanted to get into sports when I was a kid."

The cashier hands you your order with a bow of her head and an apology, and the payment barcode flashes on the screen. Before your bank app can even load up —

There's a beep, and you look up at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw. "Wha- That was my order!"

"I know." He doesn't even spare you a glance, looking directly at the cashier to list off his drink with a monotone cadence.

"Okay, wait, at least let me-" Your bag slides open over your shoulder, a shuffling that he inevitably interrupts.

"No need." It's tart, said with a finality that has you giving a resigned sigh.

"Well, thank you. Genuinely." There's a shift to your bag again in the corner of his eye that he refuses to acknowledge. "If you're not going to take my money, at least take this."

Maybe it's confusion or curiosity that has him finally turning to you, a closing distance that you cross between you both that he has every opportunity to move away from. He doesn't. Instead, he looks down to find there's a card in his hand, a sticky note on top with a number and a name.

"My personal number, if you're single. And my business card, in case you'd like that kind of favor instead." There's that sing-song voice of yours, gentle as the wind, more pleasant than he'd like to admit. "A nice gesture deserves one in return, no? Not sure if it'll come up, but if you ever need someone in this industry, I can be your girl."

Your voice wavers, he notices. Shakes but doesn't stutter. He meets your eyes, gazing up at him with something between both nervousness and surety, or maybe more like bravery despite fear. A vulnerability he never dares to share himself. But on you, somehow, he admires it. Finds it daring — to stand in a moment on shaky legs without a pre-calculated estimation of how it would go.

His girl. Something about it feels like a flicker of fire in his gut, the lap of a flame brushing against the bottom of his heart.

He pockets the note with a nod, grabbing his drink with one hand and rushing out the door with another.

(He calls, that night. With a restaurant in mind and a reservation in place. Sae doesn't believe in serendipity, in fate, in the idea that the universe would grant a prize to him in particular.

Maybe it's just pure luck, falling into place in his life. A shooting star he manages to catch in his hand.)

author's note: thank you for reading and supporting me as always :)) a lil secret message here that i'll be opening requests via a valentines event tomorrow!! in precisely 16 hours from this being posted ahaha so if u like my writing please keep a look out for that!!

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itoshi sae x reader comfort, established relationship. cw: mentions of reader's past trauma and past physical abuse. reader has grown up with 19 years of abusive trauma (this is the only specific bit and is only said once, the rest is general). sae is aware of this trauma, so he does not have his usual possible 'cruelty' (shall we say) that you might associate with him depending on how you characterize him. he is trying on purpose for you. selfship coded but written generally

a plate falls. a pang that for once, sounds soft, in a way it never has before. not like it did the first nineteen years in your life, making your heart jackrabbit, a deafening noise that followed a deafening silence that would follow with deafening screaming.

a plate falls from the side of the counter to the floor, you move but you don't catch it in time. you watch it tip and spin and fall and you know your heart is meant to fall with it but this time, the absence of it feels off. there's that silence you know all too well, a silence that would usually fill your stomach with dread, that you know follows with having you at your knees, bent over with pain shooting through your body over and over again, your crying body still staring at the broken fragments.

there's none of that. there is a hand, but it is nothing like the hands before. it is gentle at the crux between your neck and your shoulder. the squeeze it gives is comforting.

how strange, to be granted with something like that, something like comfort and warmth, for a mistake you made. how strange, that comfort can feel like a cut, something you know is inherently wrong — your brain mismatching the feelings given with the ones you hold.

you know, that being given comfort is not meant to make you feel this strange, curling feeling, like the fear of falling. it doesn't change how you feel. you know and you have learned and that in of itself doesn't heal anything. how messed up is that?

there's a shuffling, and then a paper bag is being given to you. you move, then, crouching to grab at the pieces. sae's hand waves in front of you for a moment. you don't know what he sees, you don't dare to look at him. you don't want to know if it's filled with pity, or disappointment. it's probably neither, given his usual nonchalant demeanor, but you can't risk it. you can't risk looking.

whatever he sees, he doesn't move to stop you this time (he has before. before, he has held your hands in his and asked you to sit down. before, you were a shaking rabbit in his arms with tears biting your lower lashline and a trembling lip. today is not that day. it's finally, not that day anymore). he helps you instead. there's a broom in your hands, and then a wet towel, and then…

and then the floor is clean.

"food's on the table." his voice is calm, despite everything. despite everything? what's that supposed to mean? why does a thought like that still cross your mind?

"that's what you were going for, right?" he continues. you're staring at the floor, where the plate had been. if you hadn't been, you'd notice the way he was trying to meet your gaze. "to put some food on a plate and on the table?"

"yeah. thank you."

"did you want a drink too?" he hums noncommittally. "i can make something."

"no, it's fine. i can do it myself."

i can do it myself. this time, you mean it. this time, it's really true. said with a kind of conviction.

he looks at you for a second, and then there's a gentle "okay."

"are you mad at me?"

you ask him this at the table, a whole ten minutes of silence after the whole ordeal.

"why would i be?" he tilts his head. that's the thing about sae, his words tend to be genuine. blunt, sometimes, but he doesn't tend to lie. when you look at him, you can find no hidden motives, no matter how hard you search.

"it's normal," he continues. he sounds like he's been thinking of how to say it, rotating the words in his mind like a hamster wheel. his mouth moves with unsurety, eyebrows furrowed, so foreign in comparison to his usual grace. "to drop things sometimes."

normal. you remember the bowl that sae himself had broken just a couple months ago, how it split into two pieces in the sink. how he had even given his version of a joke about how there's only one of these bowls left, because rin had broken the same one half a year ago when he came to visit, and you had broken that bowl over a year ago, the time he had held your shaking hands.

the meal finishes. he clears the plates and does the dishes. he sits with you on the sofa and you watch a show together.

there's no punishment. there's no yelling. there's a blanket draped over you both and his arm around yours and the afternoon sun.

normal, he calls it. but even after all these years, the warmth feels new to you all the same. there's an upside, of course. you find it like sunlight passing through the trees. that being: you're able to be grateful for it, to hold him close and bask in it.

author's note: i thought about not adding the 19 years bit but... i couldn't phrase this in a way that made me happy without it.

wow, exposing my traumatic and abusive childhood to the internet. i was indeed in a cycle of abuse for the first nineteen years of my life, physical and mental and emotional and financial all at once from families to friends to significant others, and i'm in my mid 20s now. which means i've spent about 5+ years healing from that. i'm still healing. my heart does not drop at a falling glass anymore. but i notice how it doesn't drop. the absence of it. i wanted to capture that

(also i imagine a lot of people reading this don't know me like that but this is my first time talking about this. i don't want to be seen as having like a victim complex or something? i'm a very independent girl (i have a capricorn moon and rising if that gives context) and this is my writing blog where i am using writing to explore my feelings.)

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btw in my selfship lore w sae when we get engaged he posts a photo on social media that's me holding a champagne glass up in front of my face w a beautiful ring. nobody knows it's me and it's how his teammates find out he's engaged LMAO ALSO they don't know me either they just know i Exist so this is the first time they're seeing part of what i look like

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never the reader in my fics bc if sae tried to surprise me by coming home early i’d be like “what? they fire you for being a bitch today?”

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u will imagine it... lil white round ears peeking out of my cherry-brown hair... sae adopts me and puts a collar on me and pets me while i lay in his lap

WAIT OMG... cubcora. CUBCORA W LIL CUB EARS

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tag directory sorry i cba to make this pretty rn i'll do it later you can also just pop a chara name into search on my blog! content warnings are done as #cw [warning] e.g. cw yandere

⋆ my writing full fics are linked in my masterlist #fragments of memories: [type of writing] ⤷ drabble ⤷ fun posts - stuff that's shorter than a drabble (1-5 lines) or stuff written in the tags ⤷ selfship - me x chara personal lore

⋆ my personal tags #submerge and awaken: [chara name] these are posts that are not written by me but that i associate w certain charas! (will add more later) ⤷ sae

⋆ general tags #smut - any nsfw writing • #not smut • #fluff #recced - this fic was sent to me by a friend #hurt - things i read that hurt me  

⋆ anime games etc  #bllk - blue lock • #sae • #rin • #aiku #hsr - honkai star rail #jjk - jujutsu kaisen #hq - haikyuu • #ak - akaashi keiji #gi - genshin impact #bsd  - bungou stray dogs #bnha • #bk - bakugou katsuki • #ts - todoroki shouto

previous tag directory

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⸺  ཐིཋྀ selfship info ⤷ tag: fragments of memories: selfship

SAE. ⤷ friends to lovers, 5 years + engagement ⤷ christmas w sae | packing and donating | snowed in ⤷ info about dynamic ⤷ tag: #submerge and awaken: sae

BLADE. ⤷ moodboard ⤷ cora and blade have been together for three lifetimes <3 ⤷ first meeting | first meeting (2)

KAISER. ⤷ in relearning love. ⤷ tag: #submerge and awaken: kaiser

NEUVILLETTE. ⤷ moodboard ⤷ tag: #submerge and awaken: neuvi

ཐིཋྀ other selfships ⤷ jing yuan, umemiya, aizawa, alhaitham, diluc ⤷ tag: #submerge and awaken: rin ⤷ tag: #submerge and awaken: aiku

ཐིཋྀ past selfships ⤷ LEVI.

ཐིཋྀ info ⤷ everything i write for my selfships are x reader inclusive! so that my content can be enjoyed by everyone. sometimes reader may have a personality ⤷ i don't mind if you have the same selfships as me!! please feel free to comment / send me an ask about my selfships or talk about yours with me!!