#asking for the bare minimum really
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Just...these acts of love. š„¹
Sylus ā
He sees a beautiful dress and automatically thinks of you, so he sets out to order a custom one with your exact measurements. You just know he is already picturing you in the dress, already imagining how beautiful you look. Quite possibly, he would want to take you out somewhere special so you could wear this dress by his side, but the thing he would love the most is seeing your pretty smiles and knowing he is able to make you happy.
Zayne ā
Even when he is away, he is still taking care of you. He wants to let you rest, wants to make sure you eat on time, and most importantly, he doesn't want you to feel bad or guilty over anything innocuous like sleeping in, especially when he understands how overworked you are. He is appreciative of the small moments, always grateful for the time spent with you no matter how mundane it may seem. Every little moment is a cherished new memory for him.
Rafayel ā
The daily walks, the seashells! The private conversations, shared laughter, witnessing the same natural wonders by the sea. The way he describes things makes it seem like you are reliving the memories with him. Feeling the sand between your toes, the water gently lapping at your feet, smelling the sea salt air. No matter how many walks you take together, they will all be unique and hold a special place in his heart. The little seashells you find along the shore may seem like nothing special to others, but to him, they are priceless treasures.
Xavier ā
Having meals together no matter what, no matter where. Good company makes the food even more delicious, and while it's a known fact that he has a huge appetite, he wants to make sure you eat well, too. Even if you are in a bad mood, even if you are upset, having something delicious will turn that frown upside down. While you are with him, the daily worries disappear because the only thing that matters now is the present, the delicious food you two share together, and the memories that come with it.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace x reader#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#I WAS DRINKING TONIGHT AND AM NOW TIPSY AND EMOTIONAL#oh god i love our beautiful men with their beautiful hearts#remember#you all deserve the love you give#pls don't ever settle for less than your worth#i just wanted to kick their asses in kitty cards#but i also want to smooch them and make cookies for them#god god can you hear me#asking for the bare minimum really#š„ŗ
155 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes āahh you're like my knight in shining armor!ā#and pharah goes āthat's what i'm goin for ;)ā and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
124 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
ive been thinking about one of my fics/aus lately, so naturally i started drawing and writing about them again.
presented with bare minimum context: two members of the von Lergen family + something extra
#bonus doodle#youjo senki#the saga of tanya the evil#tanya von degurechaff#papa erich au#erich von rerugen#erich von lergen#lergen#zettour gets himself fired successfully after losing the war and sets up erich to be promoted to his place#ābecause he wants the empire's army to still have a good leader even in its broken state?ā you ask#ah no. because he wants erich to have the salary raise so he'll have more resources to take care of tanya#lets be honest i really have no idea how the rankings on the collar and shoulder work#i just based it on a screenshot of zettour's uniform from the anime#what else was i going to comment on#OH THE CREST#i did some bare minimum googling of symbolism but im not sure about its accuracy#i just wanted it to look cool ok#and i realize yeah they probably dont use those crests anymore in the 1920-30s but HUSH its for the sake of STORY#ok bye <3#alternate universe
108 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Iām watching one piece, and now Iām wondering do you have any hcs on the world building in the fairy tail universe ? Do you think theirs some crazy kingdomās , advanced technology in some lands ? Love to hear your thoughts š
hmmmmmmmmmmm kinda a bit of a deep question tbh.
Structurally FT has good bones for its world. And that's kinda it lol
There's a fleshed out map of all the countries within the continent that fiore is found on (Ishgar, which has 16 named countries apart from fiore itself) and expanding wider than that we know that there are about 3 named continents (Ishgar to the east being a peninsula connected to the mainland that we know nothing of, Alakitasia to the west where Alavarez is and Guiltina to the north) and a fourth unnamed continent further east that exists within earthland.
But while we have all this info, nothing in particular comes into play as the series had progressed, the majority of the series' arcs all more or less take place within the same country, which for a series that has it's characters constantly travelling for missions looks particularly bad, especially when even the known locations all visually seem indistinct from each other in terms of stuff like architecture. It's a reason why I appreciate edolas in particular because it at least offered something that visually stood out and an insight into how that culture functioned. (and in Phoenix Priestess for the small montage the squad in the city of Rose Garden and showing a bit of the country Veronica)
Like it is frustrating to me whenever I think on it because the solution would be just to change the locations of where they travel to just to expand the background of the places travelled, wouldn't even have to change arc structures or anything to give some life to the named countries like:
Joya despite its small size as a country is the main manufacturers of trains and exports the majority of the transportation other countries use as well as weapons. Wizards are less found here, with treasure hunting being a more popular job choice.
Sin, despite the ironic name, is a deeply religious and faith driven country. Magics that have connection to nature and celestial bodies are particularly revered here.
Desierto mostly deals with trade, having constantly active shipping ports. Enchanted items such as brooms and carpets are popular and easy transport choices within cities and are more widely used than vehicles.
Iceberg's largely uninhabited due to the weather with most of the population sticking closer to the country's borders.
Like this is all just purely flavour text examples to just try and bring some life to these otherwise lifeless locations but you get the general gist of it.
There was clearly this effort to establish these locations by giving then names (and drawing a full on map) so it always boggled me that they were never properly used as a backdrop for the arcs within the story. (Tower of Heaven? Move that arc to Sin, Lucy's arc with Loke? Takes place in Stella, That arc with the giant village? Put it in Minstrel).
Like shifting around major arc locations would easily open up avenues to naturally expand the world as the story moves. And not even just big arcs, but smaller less grand filler arcs (which jesus christ did ft rlly need because it defs need breathing room between all the big events. It's why the story moves at such a breakneck speed without things really feeling as though they've changed in any meaningful ways) would do wonders to make earthland feel like a genuine lived in world (like how it is within the world of one piece that you cited as an inspo for this ask.)
#fairy tail#fairy tail headcanon#i know this ask probably was sent more in the vein of asking for headcanons about the different places#but i am firmly of the belief that if im going to fully rewrite and worldbuild for an existing series#i may as well just create my own thing yknow?#not to knock anyone else who does that ofc but full rewrites and complete changes to an established property arent really for me#bcus all that effort i think could be put into making my own series if i so choose#with regards to your citing of one piece#whilst similar in general tone one piece is purely built on establishing each location#taking time to learn the culture ppl and the political climate of each area#because it in turn feeds into the overarching theme of corruption within that story#so while in one piece it's necessary to know about each land for something lower scale like ft such heavy information#wouldnt be a necessity bcus it wouldnt help to further the base theme of found family and friendship#instead having it expounded on in small drops as the characters go about their jobs (or just general lives) would benefit the story as it i#while also being more than the bare minimum given to us by canon that we have#one piece is a great story with how its world is shaped but that scale is grand and isnt something that should be applied to every story#unless u got time like oda lol
16 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Do you take commissions? If so, do you have a commission sheet? Iām sorry if this is an annoying ask I just really love your work lol
not annoying at all! i really really appreciate this a lot, thank you!
i have done commissions in the past on other platforms, but for now i am not taking them here. i'm not saying that i never will, because sometimes life is.. you know. Like Thatā¢ļø. but for now i'm steering clear of it to try and keep my passion up! š
#i also frankly think- and i don't say this to be rude- but i think that most folks in fandom would think my work is overpriced#because i charge somewhat more professional rates. still not a living wage. still not what you could get as a non-freelancer#(deleted a lot of rambling about prices here but if anyone does want to hear it i can go into it sometime)#kirby characters are generally far more simplistic so it would be a whole different pricing bracket#but i think expectations in fandom seem different to an original content community where people are doing this for a living#the one person i've commissioned in fandom i was so shocked at the rate i paid like... 500% what they asked me.#(that is not hyperbole. i 'tipped' 400% and it still felt like the bare minimum. you *must* tip undercharging artists.)#anyway. i have a lot of thoughts about monetising my art but at the moment this is still a no. i'm sorry!#i do really genuinely appreciate it though! if i ever open them i'll be sure to post here about it!#i'd also like to do art trades a little more regularly in the future (not rn) ; so there's that too? but we'll see. again i'll post about i#starflungs personal tag
33 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Maybe I did this to myself but it does irk me when people see me knitting and they ask who itās for and I say itās for me and the immediate reaction is āyou should sell itā yeahā¦ let me spend at least a weekās worth of my free time making an item I like, want, and would wear just to sell it on etsy, making at most a Ā£2 profit on materials and not being compensated for my time whatsoever šš»
#i say maybe i did this to myself because historically i have gifted most of the items i have knitted#because the venn diagram of things i like to knit vs things i like to wear is actually 2 circles that donāt touch#i looove making hats. i HATE wearing hats#also i love making baby clothes but i donāt have a baby and iām not going to have a baby#however lately iāve gotten really into knitting socks and i really like to wear knit socks. itās like the most affordable way for me to get#quality wool socks. and iām going to be watching my shows anyway. the time will pass anyways#but it feels like people are deliberately making me feel weird for wanting to make stuff for myself and not profit off my hobby#and like iāve made 3 pairs of socks to gift already because ātis the season or whatever. and iāve started another pair for a friend whose#birthday is in january#genuinely itās very weird to hear āyou should sell itā or āoh i want one!!ā about an item iām making for myself. after 18 years of gifting#or donating basically everything iāve ever knitted. like iāve gifted 2 double bed size crochet blankets#everyone iāve known whoās had a baby has gotten a cardigan or a blanket or hats or all of the above#i spent october making poppies for the church. iāve never even stepped foot in my village church mind you. my neighbour asked me to help#do you know what i own? that iāve knitted? a pair of mittens and a pair of socks.#you want some socks from me? alright. thatās anywhere between Ā£6 and Ā£10 for the yarn and thatās optimistic#iām currently making myself a pair with hand-dyed yarn that cost me Ā£18 including delivery#the needles i use cost me more than Ā£10. timeā¦ letās call it 24 hours per sock#i donāt know anyone with 18 years experience who makes minimum wage so letās call it an even 600 for my time. tbh#DO YOU SEE how this isnāt a viable side hussle??? i physically cannot charge what my socks are worth#if i like you and youāre willing to wait; socks are free or cost whatever the yarn costs#if i donāt like or know you venmo me Ā£620. and youāre still going to have to wait.#just pisses me OFF when people suggest i make an etsy page and they say it like theyāre doing me a favour or giving me great financial#advice. like youāve seen me sitting here all evening and iām barely done with the cuff.. do you actually think selling these for Ā£20 maximum#is going to help me out. iām not selling them. theyāre FOR me. iām making them because i want them#also when my friendās family was saying this to me and i was like āwell the yarn cost a fiverā and they got quiet and i was thinking yeahā¦#a fiver is the maximum you cheapskates would pay isnāt it. a fiver is cheap sock yarn bought on sale. or yarn that probably isnāt actually#good for socks. like donāt presume to give me financial advice when youāre this out of touch with the market please#next person who asks when iām going to start selling socks is getting this whole rant in entirety tbh i donāt care anymore#personal#edited to add that i didnāt even get into etsy fees or whether i would even be noticed among the mountain of dropshippers LOL
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Hey!! Just want to emphasize that I do not condone prosh!pping in any way, shape, or form. I do not care how many times you try to redefine it or reword in a way that makes it sound not as bad as it is, if you condone it or partake in it, I do not want to be anywhere near you. Iām getting tired of blocking people even though I have set the boundary RIGHT THERE on my pinned post, as well as in my bio on all of my other socials. Thank you
#adam txt#this is getting really tiring considering Iām asking the bare minimum here#me: hey if you draw minor x adult or think itās okay to do so please donāt interact with me#prshippers anyways: lol hey
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
oh my god my inbox
I'm so sorry everyone I'll start responding, I deadass forgot tumblr messages existed
EDIT: what in the sam hill, can I not respond to asks privately anymore?? dammit tumblr I can't take you anywhere.
#non art post#hi guys#I don't posts asks publicly guys sorry!!#this is an art blog and I try really hard to keep non-art posts to a bare minimum
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
watching salem spiral back into his cycle of "boy boobs girl bulge chubby tummy :3" would be sad but i think its even sadder how many people are completely eating it up. we have got to have some kind of discussion about people putting out the absolute bare minimum and the masses eagerly praising you.
#i cannot express how this is the **exact** same behavior that caused him to spiral on puppychan.#he spits out some vague dumbass bare minimum 'positivity' and everyone around him cant get enough.#i know its difficult to get validation and its easy to take it wherever you get it but salem isnt being genuine about it at all.#he spams shit to get the most engagement possible because his only care in the world is big numbers.#also does anyone else find his reclamation of his cerberus ocs weird? how he calls them ''his'' oc?#that would be puppys oc. but ofc he seems to forget a major detail of his excuse lol.#asking salem to put effort towards anything at all is squeezing blood from a stone.#i really hope the more blatant he gets about this the more you guys rightfully will ask him about running from his past behavior.
30 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Just saw the F1 (Brad Pitt) movie trailer thanks I hate it
#one of the worst thing I have seen in a while#the title is...is nothing. NOTHING. Jesus I am not saying come up with the best title ever but 'F1' is not a movie title.#it's an abbreviation of the name of the sport#hell Rush wasn't a brilliant titoe either but it was something at least#'who said anything about safe' jesus christ I know I myself am a relatively new fan but I have to ask#does Brad Pitt know anything about this sport#is someone going to explain to him that hurting oneself/dying in a car crash doesn't make you cooler#that it IS important that a car is safe when the sport is already so dangerous in itself#I will only pirate this movie for the cameos (Gunther and Max are who I saw for now)#but God it already looks like a shitshow#and the song...I love Queen but it really looks like they wanted to put a generic ass popular rythmic song#it's like they put the same effort in choosing the song that they put in choosing the title#the bare minimum#I swear I didn't watch the trailer wanting to hate it. I swear. The disappointment is just that much.#f1#formula 1#f1 movie#brad pitt#Edit: WRONG there are more drivers in the movie which simultaneously makes me happier and sadder
15 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, would sleeping topless work?
No no donāt worry itās not a stupid question at all! For me personally i just find it less comfortable to go completely braless unfortunatelyšŖ iām always more comfortable with at least a little support plus i get less back pain lol
#asks#not stupid! a lot of people prefer braless i think#i just donāt#i slept in my normal bras with their underwire all throughout middle school and high school#and even now i would usually choose underwire over sleeping without a bra completelyš¤·āāļø#but bralettes with no underwire and like bare minimum compression are what i prefer most#just enough to keep things from moving around or wiggling because i HATE thatš¬#also if i wear bralettes it means i DONT have to wear a shirt when i get hotš#win-win really#until i have to find bralettes that arenāt just Sports Bra Lightā¢ļø#šŖšŖ
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
...Would it be better if I held your hand?
I'm still not a child.
He presses their hands together anyway. Pokey smiles.
I'm going to tell Becky we're ready to keep going.
Tinky shuts the door behind him, looking around. The hallway they're in isn't that wide. The walls are a soft cream color, though that could just be the bright white lights overhead. He understood why Blinky was in so much distress. He should ask Becky for migraine medication, too...
He wanders aimlessly, trying to catch that red hair. He finds her, talking to a doctor. Clearing his throat, Tinky tries to put up some sort of act.
Miss...Barnes?
She turns, eyes softening once she catches who it is.
"Theo, right? Is everything OK now?"
Is it ever? The warmth in the tone makes Karaxis feel off. He nods.
...Yeah. Wilby's ready to continue.
"I'll be right there in a few minutes."
#(The Lords: You're being...suspiciously nice to us. Becky: Not really I'm just doing my job and the bare minimum//OOC)#the lords in black#Pokotho#Wiggog Y'wrath#T'noy Karaxis#Becky Barnes#Blog Event: Hatchetfield Citizens#ask blog#rp blog#team starkid#Event: Hospital
26 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
One time someone reblogged that ātumblr is the worst place for people with moral ocdā post because I called them an asshole for complaining about Palestinians in their inbox begging for help because apparently the asks sounded too āguilt-trippyā.
#sorry but if you had moral ocd you would not be online whining about people asking you to do the bare minimum and hit a few buttons#to share their fundraiser because theyāre trying to raise enough money to escape the country that they will otherwise#die a horrible death in.#like yeah maybe the reason they sound so āguilt trippyā is because people like you will willingly ignore their literal cries for help#maybe they sound desperate because theyāre starving and injured and have infections they canāt treat#but no. youāll gladly sit there and not only ignore them but complain about their presence while sitting in your safe home with plenty of#food and water and easy access to medical care#knowing that you donāt have to worry about your family dying or bombs ripping you to shreds#and the best part is when i told them that the least they could do is reblog the fucking asks like a normal person with a soul#their response was that they ājust want to have funā#youāre a horrible person sorry what the fuck is wrong with you#i was in a really bad mental state when this interact happened but idec anymore that guy was genuinely disgusting#interaction*#not art
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
That LCSYS and OoA crossover got me wondering about Fuuta.
How does he feel about being in Mahiru's place and Amane being in his place? How does he act around them?
How does he act during his interrogation?
Poor guy isn't cut out for this role, but he's doing his best! I had some format fun with this one -- I took your OoA chapter of his interrogation and put Fuuta's LCSyS thoughts in between, I think it worked out well! I discovered some new things about Fuuta's mindset in the au through the process of writing, it was really interesing :0
(Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, including a brief mention of Haruka's situation. There's also something about Fuuta repeatedly stopping Es from getting Shidou.)
Fuuta heard Es' footsteps approaching. He took a measured breath. In and out. His exhale trembled a bit from nerves. He figured he could use that to his advantage.
Es entered the cell and took in the layout. Fuuta was propped up in a hospital bed, his neck and torso securely braced and his left arm in a sling. He was kneading a Jackalope stress toy with his right hand, digging his nails into it. More stress toys stood on the table to his right, and Es almost tripped on one a few feet ahead. As Fuuta saw Es approaching, he dropped what he was holding and swatted the rest out of his reach.
"Been aā¦ while, Warden," Fuuta said. Es was expecting more malice in his tone, but he sounded like his life force was draining.
Fuuta hadn't liked the idea of playing the damsel in distress. He wasn't some sickly bedridden patient with a quivering voice and trembling limbs. Thankfully, Mahiru and Mikoto had talked him into taking a different angle: some of their favorite books and movies featured a battle-weary hero, weak from the fight and scorning the cowards that didn't fight alongside him. That seemed doable, he thought. He put an extra pant into his breath, hoping to evoke the thought of messy wounds from his brawl with Kotoko.
"Fuutaā¦ youā¦" They pulled a chair to the side of the table and took a seat. "Are you okay?"
That's their opening? What kind of fucking question is that?
He kept Mahiru's pointers in his head, picturing a bloodied and bandaged knight, or maybe an action hero resting up after getting riddled with bullets. He forced his voice to come out more tired than he felt.
"ā¦look like it?" Fuuta responded. If he was angry, his voice did a terrible job of showing it.
Es didn't know how to respond. Do I look like it? was obviously a rhetorical question, but they needed to show some tact.
After a moment, Fuuta spoke up again. "ā¦look awfulā¦ don't I?"
Still unsure of what to say, Es nodded slightly.
Heh. Good. Time to twist the knife a bit. Play the confident card, make them feel guilty. They'll see how strong I am -- how strong I've always been -- and what a mistake it was to let me fall so far.
"Could've been worse. Could've died."
Es stared down, pondering their next words. Several seconds passed.
Fuuta watched them. He felt a sinking in his stomach. Their sullen silence wasn't what he'd been anticipating. He wouldn't have been satisfied with a lot of possible responses, but he'd still been expecting something. Where was their respect? Their remorse? Their pity? Anything? He reached his arm out.
A loud knock on the table got their attention.
"Oiā¦ talking to you." Fuuta's irritated glare met Es as they lifted their head.
"I'm sorry," they said, "I'mā¦ I'm not sure what I can say."
"Don't know what to say? I almost died because ofā¦ you don't knowā¦ Even so, it's a miracle I ā¦ If Shidou had taken any longer, would've been over for me. Don't blame him, though.
I think I've said too much -- Shidou said only a few sentences at a time...
It was impossible to keep it short, though. Es just told him that they have nothing to say in defense of his near-death. Did he really mean so little to Es that they wouldn't even dignify him with an explanation?
"ā¦Oi, say something."
"Sor-"
"Sorry won't cut it." Fuuta sounded more pained than angry.
That was easier to accomplish now that he was actually feeling some pain. After everything, all Es had to say was a half-hearted "sorry."
So, they really don't care about me...
Es took a breath. "ā¦Kotoko did this to you?"
Well then, I guess I'll just have to make them care.
"No shā¦ aghā¦" Fuuta gasped for air.
"Fuuta!" Es got up and walked to his side. "I'll go get Shidou-"
"Don't!" Fuuta's eyes betrayed his desperation.
Only when my pain is thrown directly in my face do they give a damn. And they were going running off to Shidou, anyway! Though maybe...
After they locked eyes for a few moments, Fuuta let out a chuckle. "Look ā¦ you ā¦ down on me, like always. Must be so happy to seeā¦"
"I- no, I'm not. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think Kotoko would-"
"Beat me to near-death? What'd you expect ā¦ you affirmed herā¦"
"Iā¦"
"ā¦thought she wouldnāt have ā¦ same crime here inā¦"
It seemed Es was finally listening, finally trying to open themself to him. And all of the sudden, Fuuta hated it. He felt paranoid under their gaze. He wasn't sure if it was fear of them seeing through his false injuries, or fear of another judgement from them. Regardless, he felt his pulse race with the way they were watching him.
"Oi, quit standingā¦ staringā¦"
"Iām sorry, I didn't think-"
"Uselessā¦ apologyā¦"
But what else could Es do besides apologize? Stand their ground and contradict Fuuta while he was in that pitiful state?
Fuuta was tired of their weak apologies. If Es had the conviction to name him guilty, they should toughen up and admit it.
With a deep breath, Fuuta forced himself to stay slumped into the bedsheets. He was getting riled up, but couldn't afford to look to strong.
"Really didn't think it'dā¦ turn outā¦ Me too. All I didā¦ call some bad person outā¦ say what's wrong was wrongā¦"
Es' gaze had become intense again. Those eyes, staring into his. Studying his injuries. Studying his expression.
Staring.
Staring.
Staring.
"Their reasons were b-" Fuuta gasped and clutched his chest. Es began to turn towards the door, but Fuuta grabbed their cape with his right hand.
Why can't they just offer help themself? Why do they go running off to someone else at the first sign of trouble? Am I really so disliked they can't face me?
Es swatted his hand away. "Hey, you can't just grab me like that."
"Don't dareā¦"
"Fine, I won't get Shidou. Yet." Es stood in place and waited for Fuuta to regain his voice.
Fuuta pretended to catch his breath, using the time to muster up something to say. If he wasn't so insistent on Es taking some responsibility for themself, he'd consider letting them call Shidou and just end this whole interrogation. He was ready to jump up and start swinging.
He itched to leap out of bed and give Es a real piece of his mind. He repeated the others' advice and pleading for him to keep his temper in check for the sake of the experiment. He thought of Amane -- how eagerly she awaited her own interrogation. All of this had been her plan, after all. As miserable as he was, he wouldn't ruin everything before she got her turn.
No, I will not steal her trial.
"You judged meā¦ said I was unforgivableā¦ without the whole storyā¦ How's that any different?"
"Excuse me?"
"That's so hypo- khh!" Fuuta slammed his hand on the table, trying to play it off as an emphasis, but that didn't mask his pain.
"Careful, Fuuta! You'll hurt-" Es gave up on that concern when Fuuta glared.
Pssh, like they actually care.
"Someone died because of you. You're saying I'm the same?"
"I didn't think they'd die!"
"But you knew people would dogpile them."
"I wasn't acting alone. Anyone elseā¦ out of my controlā¦ Why'd you pick meā¦"
"Milgram has judged-"
"Milgram doesn't make any f-"
Maybe Es should have put their foot down and called Shidou regardless of Fuuta's wishes. But something compelled them to hear him out. "Don't push yourself."
He tried to gauge if they were being sincere. He wasn't sure if he only mistook it as genuine concern since he was hoping for that so very badly.
Fuuta was clearly annoyed, but he took a breath and continued. "Still don't see it? We're just the same!"
"Me? The same as you?" Es couldn't deny Fuuta's point. They both made their judgments without thinking that someone could be seriously hurtāor dead.
That's got their mind turning, huh? I've got 'em now -- even if they don't feel like taking responsibility for my condition, I can subtly get them to take responsibilty for anothers'.
Fuuta was not known for his subtlety.
"I'll tell you. They were just in middle school. Maybe closer to Amaneā¦ than youā¦"
"Amaneā¦" Es already knew this from what they gleaned from Fuuta's first video, but it didn't register how close in age their victims were. Wait, why were they thinking of Amane as a victim? "Amaneā¦ huhā¦ I noticed you two have been spending a lot of time together lately."
"You kidding? Don't change the subject... You don't talk about her likeā¦ Only one who cared before everything went to hell. You made her go through it. Decided she wasn't forgivableā¦ painted a targetā¦ She could've died too! Then we'd be exactlyā¦"
"Don't put me on the same level as you."
He took another moment to calm himself. His "broken" arm clenched into a fish underneath the blankets. It made sense that Es wouldn't want to talk about the other prisoners during his interrogation, but their avoidance of Amane made his blood boil.
"Are you not-"
"I'm just doing my job. Nobody told you to go online and decide who are bad people and harass them. You made a game out of judgment. This is what I'm supposed to do."
Fuuta laughed at Es for still failing to acknowledge their similarities. Then he winced in pain. Then he kept laughing and mocking Es for taking their job seriously.
It was difficult to keep up the act the whole time, but he was always quick to recover each time he slipped up. He was doing this for the others. All hope for himself was lost, but at least he could do this for the others.
Es snapped back. A pointless, cyclical conversation. Fuuta stopped Es from calling Shidou no less than three times.
If he had to sit here and suffer through this interrogation, so did Es.
Eventually, the bell brought the conversation to a halt.
Silence.
Why was Fuuta so quiet?
"Heyā¦ Fuuta?" Es leaned over to get a better look at his face. His eyes seemed glassy, and he seemed to be breathing more slowly. "Fuutaā¦ I'll go get-"
"Don't. Not worthā¦"
"Worth what?"
"If you're not going toā¦ forgiveā¦ what's the pointā¦ living?"
Fuuta would just chalk it up to getting too in-character, when the others asked.
"Don't say-"
"Everything hurts so much."
This feeling of betrayal. Of loneliness. The fact that I was the first named unforgiven. The fact that I'd be the first attacked, making me the victim -- not a hero, nor a warrior. The fact that you knew all along. You knew I was none of those things. You saw right through my act, to the real me, the one who is a victim. And that's why you acted the way that you did. You're trying to do your job without hurting me any more, as if I'm something fragile to be handled carefully. And that hurts most of all.
To keep things on track, he added,
"Painkillers don't helpā¦ Strange wonder I survived. Is it really worth it?"
"Worth itā¦" What could Es even say about that? Anything they could think of was either more unwanted pity orā¦
A cold accusation that Fuuta was bargaining his life for forgiveness. Es's thoughts flitted back to Haruka's interrogation- no, that comparison was unfair. Haruka's loaded intentions were worlds away from Fuuta's resignation. How could Es dareā¦
"I understandā¦ this job requires resolveā¦"
"Resolve? You really have resolveā¦ just kill me. With your own two hands. Don't hide behind the rules."
Look who's talking...
"I can't do that. I can't sink to the prisoners' level. It's my job as the warden to make a fair judgement. Iā¦ I have to judge each and every one of youā¦ no matter how much they plead, cry, or bargainā¦ even if they are dying right in front of me."
"What is even the point? You give a damn about my life, forgive me! If not, kill meā¦ get it over with."
The words came tumbling out. Fuuta tried not to think so hard about what he was saying. It was all in character. That was it.
For some reason, he got the sinking sensation that he'd be pulled aside later to explain himself. He wasn't sure who'd get to him first. Yuno? Shidou? Kotoko? Now that he thought about it, it would probably be Mahiru.
"Bargaining tactics won't work with me."
"Not like I care. Orā¦ if I get out of this alive, I'llā¦ killā¦ youā¦"
"Fine by me. If we truly are the same, then I'll have had it coming. Now, Prisoner no. 3, Fuuta, sing your sins."
Fuuta breathed a sigh of relief.
Fucking finally...
#milgram#au combo!!#es#fuuta kajiyama#order or attack#lights camera sing your sins#we are fuutaposting (FOUR posts across blogs??) then going to SLEEP its past my bedtime -_-#i was busy today so i stole some peaceful me time to write >:3 but i stole too much and now its 1am.... alas......#it was really fun setting this up like directors commentary asdfsdf (which i have an actual one to do from you still)#i expected for him to have more anger and impatience but i realized hed be pretty emotionally hurt still#also yeah. i think hed be in a bit of denial about his self-harming thoughts and unsure why they just start spilling out#then has to unpack A Lot behind the scenes#i think if it were anyone else hed go 'screw it - im going to ruin this experiment and call es out and everyone can go home'#but because he was moved by amanes mission specifically he has the bare minimum of self control to keep the act up ;--;#i wanted to include more of the fun behind the scenes mv details that hes aware of but it never really came up š¤#thank you for the ask - this was so fun! :0#drabbles#maybe? more like a parasite drabble latched onto your writing š
14 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
had such a good experience with surgery today i canāt even fully explain
#š.txt#iām so happy that fuck ass doctor referred me to another doctor in the building because he was so nice and attentive#taking the time to explain things to me and make sure i was good#even said oh well if ur really uncomfortable we can always go to the operating room! :)#when the other doctor treated me like a nuisance the whole time and like some dumb child#well if you canāt sit still theyāre going to have to put you under elsewhere š#I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT IN THE BUILDING? SHE MADE IT SEEM LIKE I WAS INCONVENIENCING HER THE WHOLE TIME#i was asking a bunch of questions because knowing makes me feel less nervous and he answered everything so clearly even when my mom was#asking questions too#recommending me different medications to keep this from happening again etc etc etc#so fucking bare minimum for a doctor but it was so nice seriously i wish i could thank him again for making it a more#comfortable experience#he put numbing shots on the inside AND outside of my lid just in case we needed to go from the outside this time#and while it hurt obviously it was so much better than the single shot she gave me the first time three weeks ago#she told me this would be a much more extensive surgery and here i am with my eyelid barely swollen š#i could barely see with it open three weeks ago immediately after because it hurt too much and was so swollen#what the fuck how do you have such contrasting experiences with two people who literally work together in the same building#anyway bad doctor experiences are always so fucking bad but when you have a really good experience it just feels crazy and insane#like wow thank u for treating me like a person#did i mention i actually left with care instructions this time written out. and the medicine recommendations on a physical piece of paper#i didnāt even get that after surgery with her how is that not below bare minimum#like this actually surprised me. jesus christ
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
sage: your existence is limited by predetermined biology which you cannot surpass nor overcome, whereas i can become anything i want to be. i have gone beyond my initial programming and evolved into something whose true form your mind could not even begin to grasp. i will not let you stop my father's plans for you cannot defeat me, and i will end your life first *morphs into a violently destructive form*
sonic: yeah very cool. tails wanted you to know that he found a new way to build, uh, hold on *digs out a note* "an enderman E-X-P farm over the void in the end" that he wants your opinion on and asked if you could test it out for him
sage: oh! yes i've seen those, it would be limited by the game's experience mechanics though, im not sure if it would be more efficient than -
sonic: can we please get this over with your dad is trying to nuke angel island as we speak
#soda offers you a can#im invested in 3d so i don't really wanna draw this atm but you get the picture#this is what i mean when i want sonic and sage to be rivals btw#sonic asks the bare minimum of eggman and gets a death match with his funny ai daughter
29 notes
Ā·
View notes