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hatboyproject · 4 years ago

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This is very long, but it might be of interest to someone, somewhere. I was asked recently about the direction I'm taking this romance in and whether or not I'll be addressing certain disability specific subjects within it. The answer, of course, is yes - I have always planned to do this in one form or another. Whilst no single piece of media can address everything I'd like to say on the subject, and I am working within the bounds of a larger story with its own pacing and focus to consider, there's still room to touch on some of these things.

I'm aware that my interpretations won't always be the same as others'. They are my interpretations, coloured by my experiences and feelings, and ultimately, this is my mod - I'm writing it for everybody who 'wears the ballcap,' so to speak! But, it's my interpretation of this character that I'm trying to share with everyone. Different people "took the helm" (laugh, I'm hilarious!) on writing Jeff across the trilogy, and as time has gone on I've been trying to convince myself that it's okay to have my turn at doing that, too - albeit in a non-professional capacity. So... Let's get into my interpretation of Jeff, where his stuff comes from on my view, and how things went to get him to where we are at the beginning of ME3, where the romance can occur.

A lot of how I interpret him comes from experiences in my own life with my own issues, and with those of my loved ones, some of whom are physically disabled in similar (but not identical) ways to Jeff. Some of this carries an element of catharsis for me.

Mechanically and narratively speaking, what draws me to writing this romance is the contrast between how these two characters are strong. It's this core idea that strength doesn't have only one manifestation in a person. That loving somebody doesn't have to be done only one way, that it can be beautiful and passionate and fulfilling - even if, when it gets physical, the headboard can't exactly be made to shatter with the force of it all. For me, it's also an exercise in insecurity and dealing with feelings of frustrated inadequacy - something that has plagued me my whole life.

Yes, yes, he's fictional - but the only way for me to really get into a character is to think about them as if they're a real being. When I look at Jeff as a person, I see many things... Some very positive, some pretty negative... I try to see him as a complete person with strengths and flaws.

On the surface he is often defensive, dismissive, sarcastic, and emotionally avoidant. But why is that? He is highly skilled, dedicated and capable, and knows it, but at the same time is a person who is constantly overlooked, underestimated, and asked to work thrice as hard to get the same considerations. Even then, his validity is questioned often by almost everyone around him. Over time, combined with the realities of living with his physical condition, this has given him some deep-seated insecurities. He feels the need to brag about his skills because they are, ultimately, the one thing about himself that he is absolutely certain has real worth. He overcompensates for this by abusing rules and technicalities wherever he can, because I think he knows that if he played life by the rules, he'd never have gotten anywhere. It's a stacked deck, so why not hide some aces up his sleeve? When you don't fit in the box provided, you question the value of every box you see.

When a person lives with this long enough, it can get hard to swim against the tide of society's expectations and still remain chipper about it, let alone not internalise some of it. It can cause a person to create a shell constructed out of distrust and untruth.

Living with a disability can really suck sometimes, and the suck is compounded when having to deal with your own frustrations plus those of others. In my personal experience, that happens a lot.

There is a certain sense of alienation that it can create, and it can become a kind of Sword of Damocles. It can be easier to anticipate rejection and others' assumptions, inabilities to understand or relate than to keep reaching out, only to have the same tired conversations about being different. I see a lot of this in him. I understand the chip he has on his shoulder.

I also see an extremely sensitive, empathetic, devoted and boundlessly loving person under all that. In fact, it's because of these things that I think he actively tries to distance himself. At the core of his being, I see Jeff as somebody who loves quickly and completely. I think he sees that as a vulnerability, incompatible with what he's learned he has to do to survive... and also with the machismo thing that comes with being a pilot. I think on some level he's terrified of that about himself, but he also can't help it. Jeff is ride or die. So, he tells himself he doesn't care and never lets anyone in. Any time anyone showed interest, he'd shut them down, alienate them, distance himself, and get in the seat of something that flies.

I think up until now, (ME3) he's seen intimacy both as a thing he longs for, but is also afraid of because of his fundamental knowledge that he is different. He thinks he can't "measure up" to what he sees all around him. He sees romance as something that will lead to his inevitable rejection and being crushed, emotionally - and if he's not careful, physically, too. I think he's embarrassed about that as well. He's very interested where it comes to all that, but the things he likes to watch, he knows he can't do like that. His only experience is second-hand as a voyeur, so some of his perceptions about that are unhealthy for him. I think any kind of attempt by the medical professionals in his life to broach the topic and offer support on, he's angrily changed the subject, or stopped listening to, because of the entire mess above. I think Jeff is kind of a lonely person, and some of it is self-imposed, though the reasons for him thinking it's the right thing to do aren't all within his control.

All this is difficult for him to reconcile with, because he has been desperately in love with his commanding officer since almost the moment s/he met him, but entirely unprepared to face it.

I think at first it was easy for him to dismiss it as a stupid crush. Everyone gets them when cramped up in close quarters in stressful situations and the Commander's magnetism was hard to ignore. But then it became clear that Shepard really hadn't read his file and really hadn't made any assumptions at all about him. S/he just wanted to know him, and as time progressed and that actually bore out, it got hard not to really feel something powerful, even though s/he was the Commander and it wasn't strictly appropriate to think that way. But, then there was that thing about not fitting in the box provided...

I think he agonised over coming to Shepard with it, but ultimately decided it would be selfish with everything they were going through. I think there was a part of him that decided s/he'd never be interested anyway, not when there were other, healthier people to choose from... People who didn't have these hangups or need special accommodations made for them. I think he decided to keep it to himself, for what he felt was both their sakes.

If/When the Commander quietly hooked up with someone else, I think he had a lot of feelings all at once. On the one hand, the person he cared for most was finding some peace in all the craziness. On the other, he wished that particular brand of peace was shared with him. Most of the time there were more important things to worry about, but during downtime, I think it was on his mind a lot.

I think he feels very sheepish about it, but occasionally his jealousy got the better of him and he interrupted Shepard at moments that got too hard to watch on the security cams. He watched the cams around the ship lot, and listened in on all the others a fair bit. I think because he saw himself as being at a remove from most people in a lot of ways, it was easy to justify that to himself. I think he saw it kind of like listening to a podcast or a soap opera or... Nature documentary, almost, or something. He got to know all of them in this way... Parasocially at first, but gradually, socially too. He felt better about trying, because he had this secret edge. Not the greatest stuff he's ever done, but... Complete person. Strengths and flaws.

And then, the unthinkable happened. He couldn't accept that the ship was dying. He was sure he could save it... But when Shepard's hand touched his shoulder, when s/he'd come back for him, he knew it was over. And then, it really was over. Shepard paid the price for his arrogance. The person he wanted to protect the most spun off out into space. The communicator between his mask and that helmet was still in range for long enough that he could hear the choking. For a long time afterward, even hearing people cough made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

The Alliance grounded him. I don't think he even had the capacity to be mad about it. I think that was a hard time for Jeff. I think between being burdened with the knowledge of the Reapers, the loss of Shepard, and the weight of his guilt, he was pretty close to the very, very edge when Cerberus knocked on his door and made him a bunch of promises. Pretty sure those promises had nothing to do with leather seats and everything to do with Project Lazarus. I'm very sure that the promise of Shepard coming back is the reason he even let Cerberus pay for the surgeries he agreed to undergo, because I don't think he valued himself much at all at that point. I'm pretty sure it was being ready to help Shepard that he was thinking about when he was learning to walk on his painful legs without crutches for the very first time. When Cerberus offered him a big shiny reset button I think he took it without hesitation because there wasn't anything else to hope for. I think seeing Shepard in the docking bay galvanised him and without ever telling them so, he pledged his life to them even harder than before. I think he told himself that he would support Shepard in every way he could. He would go wherever, do whatever, and when dealing with him, try to give them what he knew they needed; a goddamn break.

So, fast forward again, and now we are here. With all of this in mind... Shepard might have had a dalliance with someone else, or might've been too damaged by their previous love interest on Horizon, or whatever. Either way, I think Jeff saw it as not his business to even dream about that. I think the guilt tore him up every time he looked at Shepard. I think he felt like on some level, he deserved the pain of unrequited feelings which only ever got more intense. If he didn't think himself worthy of it back then, doubly so now. I think during the six months of house arrest, he tried to visit, but the Alliance denied his every attempt. Then the attack on Earth happened.

And so now we have Jeff, who, just like other humans is confused and groping about for a sense of what's up and what's down. Fortunately for him, Shepard is part of that sense of stability. He's just better at hiding it, because avoiding it and telling himself to focus elsewhere is second nature to him by this point. But things are a little different, now. Shepard seems looking around for a connection too. Future days seem short in number and the rulebook less and less important by the minute. Denying it to himself becomes impossible, and even EDI prods him about it. Shepard won't stop being so goddamn nice to him and even responds with things that if he didn't know better, he could interpret as... But then all the old insecurities come rushing back and he's walking on his own damn eggshells again. Fuck it. It's time to admit it. To come clean. S/he has to know.

So he asks. And s/he accepts. He's equal parts thrilled, stunned and terrified. He's even on some level, suspicious. Is s/he setting him up for a fall? Are they angry about his responsibility? What do they want out of this, actually? He hasn't explained what it'd be like. That what they're doubtlessly expecting of him is unrealistic. That he's completely inexperienced. I think at this point, he's a bit pissed off with himself and feeling a lot of dread because he's pretty sure how this is going to go. He realises he's got so caught up in it that he's done things in the wrong order. Damage control. He has to talk with Shepard and explain what s/he should expect from him, because it will be different. Manage expectations because he's had to manage his own. He goes in steeled.

But s/he knows it will be different, it turns out. As ever, Shepard has made no assumptions whatsoever. S/he only wants to get to know him. Wants him for everything he is, and accepts what he is not. It was never an issue for them beyond understanding how to work with it, because he is worthy just as he is, and has worked hard enough. He has to teach them about his limitations, about underestimating and overestimating... But where there's a will, there's a way. Time for a few shared moments of peace before the end of days, and through all the craziness, something feels right at last. He feels safe enough to let Shepard in properly. Thus begins his reassessment of himself and reckoning with letting go of the insecurities he has that aren't actually his own, but come from outside.

Also he totally gets to sext the Commander now when s/he's on missions. Nice.

So. There's a lot more I could say and expound upon but it's been hours and I have stuff to do. That's my direction. It's not going to suit everyone, and I doubt I can get everything across... But I'll try. I'm just one person, with just one perspective, with just one version of this story. But I hope people like what I come up with surrounding this framework, because I have lived a lot of it myself. Just a few less Reapers in my version. Not everyone's experiences and responses will be the same.

#shoker #shoker mod #hatboyproject #jeff joker moreau #character study #my approach

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papers4me · 4 years ago

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Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going! Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”. he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well” while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school.

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #crying paper #proud paper!#tohru is just so precious!#final season #Part 1

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marsupials-of-mars · 5 years ago

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It Surfaces on the First Freeze of Winter (Pt 5)

Logan pulled under the lone roof covering the reserved parking spots at his complex. He paid extra for that spot, but it was something he was willing to treat himself to. His choice was validated further within the next minute, when tiny, sparse crystals of ice started fluttering down onto the pavement. Logan had hardly noticed that it had grown that cold during his drive, though he had noticed the bright grey cloud cover slowly moving overhead and blocking out the once dominating Florida sun. He normally would have been irritated by the snow, which was bound to make driving more difficult and was a signifier that the cold wasn't letting up anytime soon, but he couldn't help but be excited for Roman's reaction to such a phenomenon. He was sure to be bursting with childlike energy and whimsy.

Logan suddenly felt a fresh pang of guilt for leaving Remus in such a freeze, but at least it had its heater. He pushed the idea from his mind, locked his car, gathered his boots, and started toward the apartment.

Just as he passed the back tire, he felt a wet, familiar sensation wrap his ankle. He nearly screamed before he stopped himself, causing his outburst to sound more like a violent hiccup. He whipped around to lock eyes with Remus, curled and tangled into the underside of the car. It had forfeited its Roman disguise in order to fit its shape to the undercarriage. One tentacle had escaped its compact form, outstretched to greet Logan's socked foot.

"Remus?!" He whisper-shouted as to not alert his roommate, who was potentially just a parking lot, a window, and some blinds away. "You can't be here! It's not safe for either of us!"

"-live with- Logan." Remus looked almost smug, seemingly proud of his fantastic stealth skills, overriding his clear misery from being windblown consistently with freezing air. The reality of Logan's anger must have finally been apparent to the beast, who quickly recoiled its tentacle and regained it's Roman form in defense. "-Roman-" it made pleading puppy dog eyes, daring Logan to yell at his roommate.

"You clearly don't know how often I get mad at Roman. Now get in the backseat, I'm taking you back where you came from!"

"-live with-" The creature seemed confident, confusing Logan until it reached out once again and dropped the bright red end of a severed brake line at his feet. It's eyes gleamed with excitement at its brilliant solution. "-companionship. -priority."

Logan stared at the jagged end, riddled with beak marks that perfectly matched the sketches in Roman's book. That was a blow to his paycheck. At least it must have happened after he parked.

"You're insane!"

"-insane!" Remus beamed at what he must have thought was a compliment regarding his cleverness. Or he was legitimately proud of his insanity. Logan rubbed his eyes with a thumb and forefinger, thinking over his options.

"Well... I suppose you'll have to stay here until I can get it fixed. One night at most."

"-early Christmas gift-" It broke into a toothless grin.

"NOT a reward. Not fun. Just a necessity. You'll have to be quiet and out of the way. This is not okay."

"-okay." Remus pouted, finally realizing that his idea was not going to turn out as fun as he expected.

"Now, up the back of my coat. That should hide you while I get you... wherever I can put you."

Remus whined and wrapped Logan's legs to begin its slither up onto his back. The sensation wasn't pleasant, but Logan had gotten oddly used to it, and it helped that the creature had spent fifty minutes drying out at highway speeds, though that was just another spike in his anxiety at the same time. He had to get it some hydration, and fast. Whatever its species, it clearly wasn't built for that kind of journey, and Logan could feel it in the lethargic way it moved and how much weaker its tentacles gripped his body. He felt it nuzzle into the warmth of his back. He sighed and pulled his hood over its head, beginning his trudge to the door.

He fumbled with his key, more focused on the load on his back, but managed to get it open.

He slipped in, trying to move quick but casually to the stairs, until he noticed that Roman hadn't made a peep. He craned his neck to see into the living room and kitchen. No sign of Roman. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to text him.

"Just got home, where are you?" He waited quietly for a reply. He heard Remus grumble softly at the nape of his neck. He jostled a bit to quiet it down. A minute or so later he got a reply.

"A suprise. I'll tell you when I get back, idk how long, maybe a few hours tops. What, you miss me? ;)"

Logan let out a breath of relief.

"Not particularly. It's just really relaxing and quiet over here all of a sudden."

">:P"

Logan smiled and tucked his phone in his pocket. That made things at least a small bit easier, though nothing about hiding an intelligent, five foot, tentacled beast in a two bedroom apartment would be easy either way. He brainstormed how he would pull this off.

First things first, he hauled the miserable, dehydrated creature to the bathroom and let it slip off his back into the tub. He turned on the tap, mixing the water to an acceptable temperature. Remus trilled in delight and began rolling its gelatinous form in the small pool of inch high water that had accumulated at the bottom.

"No splashing! Just wait for it to fill up. You wont be able to move much but you'll be hydrated."

From what Logan could tell, Remus was amphibious, as it could seemingly breathe air, though did become lethargic and withdrawn if out of water too long. He helped Remus wet itself by cupping his hands under the faucet and draining them onto its head and shoulders. Remus tipped its face up into the trickle, its facial tentacles reaching upward and playing with the stream. It let out what sounded like a content sigh.

The water swirled with a brownish-green that escaped Remus's body in a thick cloud. It wasn't suprising, as it had lived its entire life in a swamp, but it still sent shivers of disgust up Logan's back as he realized how often he allowed this filthy creature to climb all over him.

As he washed, Remus's black pattern receded and new, bright green spots swelled on its flesh. If Logan could reliably connect this pattern change with the proceeding of its black pattern when the creature was in distress, he realized it might mean the creature was more relaxed then than it had been at any point since Logan met it. He smiled despite his situation and stroked his hand down its head, its tentacles more appreciative then than possessive.

He took a step back and pondered his options. He suddenly recalled Decan's kiddie pool that he used as a playpen to give his snakes enrichment. If he could come up with an excuse to take it, he could fill it and hide it somewhere, maybe under his bed. His heart beat anxiously as he realized this meant using a chunk out of his couple hours of preparation time for travel, but the house was relatively close, enough to take the bus and not lose too much time. He looked at Remus. He'd have to take it with him. He wasn't about to leave it home alone.

"Okay Remus. We're going on another little trip. I'm going to need you to be very quiet, because nobody can see you, got it? Still and quiet."

"-got it? Still and quiet." It didn't seem too focused, blowing bubbles in the water and sloshing itself back and forth up the sides of the bath.

"This is serious. We could both be in danger if someone saw you."

"-serious. Still and quiet." Remus stopped sloshing and squinted sneakily. It lost its Roman form and compacted in on itself until it was the size of a beach ball. Its eyes peeked out from between two tentacles. Logan blinked at the impressive feat of shrinking nearly four feet.

"Perfect! Is that uncomfortable...?"

"Yeah-" It loosened its grip, growing six inches or so in diameter as it decompressed

"If it's uncomfortable don't do it, you're going to be like that for a while. Wait here a moment." Logan ran out and grabbed his backpack.

He returned to the bathroom and opened the bag wide.

"It's waterproof. Usually that's to keep the contents dry from outside sources but it can work the other way around."

Remus whined and slid out of the tub to examine its new hiding spot. It tucked its head into the main pocket and explored the inner surface with its mustache of tentacles. It looked back up at Logan, curious.

"Logan. -my coat?"

Logan squinted, trying to interpret. "Oh! You'll still be with me, don't worry, this goes on my back so you can be right up against me for warmth, this just makes you easier to carry and hide. It's pretty big for a backpack, so it shouldn't be too uncomfortable."

Remus seemed satisfied and quickly curled into the bag. It poked its head out and chirped as if prompting Logan to hurry up. Logan nodded and zipped up the bag, after somewhat struggling to push Remus's head down. It let out a faint grumble as soon as he was out of its line of sight.

He slung the back over his shoulder, still suprised at how light Remus was despite its size. The lack of bones was helpful. Even still, it was about as heavy as a bag full of textbooks, so quite unpleasant. He hunched his back and felt Remus shift with him.

"Now hush. When I say 'safe', it's okay to come out and make noise okay? I'll check in on you sometimes but no sounds or getting out."

"-okay? -hush." It made a low humming sound as if it were considering something. "-make noise- -sounds- -sounds- -okay?"

"Right now?"

"-getting out."

"You want to get it out first? Okay, but not too loud, we still have neighbo-"

A loud, grating, horrific screech rang out from Logans bag, unlike any noise he'd heard Remus make thus far. He winced and nearly fell over, almost forgetting to stabilize his load weight.

"GOD- REMUS!" He let Remus down onto the ground to allow himself to check the state of his ears. "I said not too loud!"

"-get it out-" Remus wiggled innocently, seeming satisfied with its verbal purge.

Logan stuffed its head down into his bag and zipped it back up. He caught his breath. "Now shush. We're going to be around lots of people."

"-okay." He felt Remus resituate against his back. He pulled out his phone and googled the time of the next bus. He didn't bother relaying the time to his creature as he knew it wouldn't understand what times were.

"The bus should get here in just a bit, thankfully."

He smiled when he heard no response. Remus was taking his vow of silence seriously.

He pulled his sticky coat back on and found his way out to the bus stop at the corner of the apartment complex. Within ten minutes or so the bus pulled up to the stop. There was a hiss and the doors opened, inviting him onto the steep steps, wet from the snow on passenger's shoes. He was careful with each step, slow enough that the door hissed closed behind him before he summited the last step.

He paid and quietly slipped to the back of the bus, trying incredibly hard to not look suspicious. He huddled into the back corner and pulled off his back to unzip it only slightly. He put a finger to his lips as he caught Remus's neon green eyes.

"Logan." Remus echoed loudly, beaming. "-safe- -okay?"

Logan coughed and quickly pulled out his phone. "Yeah, you're safe? Yeah the snow is really coming down now..." He shot a death glare to Remus but let up when he noticed people turning to his scene. "Okay. Thank god. Yeah I'll see you soon." He hung up his fake call and put his phone back in his pocket. To his relief, people began to go back to what they were doing.

He unzipped his bag no more than an inch to catch remus with scolding eyes. The bright green eye blinked up at him, then squinted into a smiling crescent, amused. Logan wrinkled his nose at it before again zipping up his bag.

At the sixth stop, he slung his bag over his shoulder. He slinked up the aisle and out the door, again being careful on the way down.

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fractal-unfoldment · 6 years ago

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🖤

What Is Shadow Work? (& How To Do It) by Suzanne Heyn

A big part of healing and finding more peace is doing shadow work. That is, facing those parts of ourselves that we'd rather shove in a box and pretend they didn't exist.

The shadow is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung, and it refers to our deepest wounds. The wounds that have us believing we're flawed, unlovable, undeserving people.

These wounds are often created in childhood, but can sometimes develop later in life. Perhaps you were bullied or experienced a traumatic life event that created a wound. Other times, these wounds are cultural. They develop from prevailing social beliefs, such as the way money is tied to self-worth.

When left unattended, these wounds fester, leading us to live from this place of deficiency. Doing shadow work allows us live from a place of wholeness and expansion. We stop interpreting interactions from the lens of the wounded self. We understand that most things in life are not about us, but about the people who are acting unconsciously from their own unhealed wounds.

There's a lot of talk about love and light in the spiritual world, but to feel that love and light, we need to heal the deepest parts of ourselves, the parts we may consider ugly and unloveable. By doing shadow work, we shed light on the dark and become the light instead of pretending.

This practice expands our capacity for self-love, fulfilling relationships and the possibilities we see for our lives. But the work we must do along the way is down and dirty. Are you ready?

Key steps to doing shadow work

1. No emotions are bad

As we become more aware of our insides, it can seem we actually feel more, get annoyed more, because we're aware of even small reactions that probably went unnoticed before. Developing this awareness through meditation, we're able to identify even the smallest reactions to things.

This can be annoying, but is an important step to healing. Negative emotions are portals into the shadow. They help us illuminate the location of these wounds so we can better examine them.

For example, maybe you find people who are really good at asking for things annoying. This could be a projection of unmet needs or a secret desire of having the chutzpah to ask for help. Maybe you believe asking for help is wrong, or that you don't deserve to receive assistance.

When you feel an emotion, ask yourself:

What am I feeling?

Why am I feeling this?

Stop, breathe and wait for answers. They may not come right away, and that's ok. Sometimes answers need time and space to arise. Don't force answers because they might be the wrong ones, ones from your ego and not the soul. Soul work happens on its own timeline, not a human timeline. So be patient and know that in time, the answers will come.

2. Identify the shadow

The shadow, by nature, is subconscious, and identifying it can be tricky. It's such an integral part of our psyche that it can be difficult to notice.

This also makes healing it difficult. The first step is to become aware of ongoing patterns in your life. Do you consistently encounter the same problems or experience recurring feelings? These patterns help to highlight the shadow.

Common shadow beliefs include:

I am not good enough.

I am unloveable.

I am flawed.

My feelings are not valid.

I must take care of everyone around me (because I was never nurtured as a child).

Why can't I just be normal?

3. Investigate with compassion

Doing shadow work with compassion is difficult. It's easy to fall into blaming ourselves or others. And while it's important to recognize key themes that have influenced us, particularly in childhood, we must forgive those who hurt us in order to move on.

Try to navigate that balance by recognizing how others' behavior may have influenced you while understanding they did the best they could, and were simply acting from their own wounds.

How to explore the shadow:

Journaling is a powerful way to feel emotions and empty your head of the thoughts rumbling around. Getting thoughts from your head onto paper is a magical alchemy. If you're not sure how to journal, just start writing. Write whatever comes to mind. You can't do it wrong. You could also take the questions mentioned earlier — what am I feeling? why am I feeling this? — and use them as prompts to investigate on paper.

You don't actually have to send the letter, but get all your feelings out on paper. Explore why you feel certain ways and tell the person in mind how you feel. This is a good way to validate yourself and your emotions, particularly if you grew up thinking that your feelings weren't valid. Consider burning the letter after you write it as a symbolic release.

Sometimes in meditation, we may have insights about why we feel certain ways. It's also possible to spontaneously heal by feeling our emotions. In my own practice, I find healing comes in layers. I heal a small amount and then must return later to dig deeper. However, sometimes people can have more profound, deeper experiences. You might try a forgiveness meditation. Visualize the person in your mind's eye and say, "May you be happy, may you be at peace, may you be free of suffering."

Feel your emotions. Explore them. Write about them. Move. Make art. Experience yourself as whole, loved, and lovable. The shadow thrives on secrecy. Bring the hidden parts of yourself to light and bathe them in self-love. Even if the process hurts, know that it's okay and that everybody goes through the same thing.

This one is lengthy, so I've explained more below.

4. Nurture your inner child

Childhood traumas, or the way we were parented, can result in deep wounds that in turn create behavioral and emotional patterns that even the most aware may be unaware of.

That's because we don't know what we don't know. Our world is our normal, and it takes a lot of effort to uncover the unhealthy patterns that we picked up. To us, they may be reality, while in truth, they're false beliefs. You may have beliefs that are causing you pain that you can't even see because they're so deeply ingrained in you.

And once you realize them, it can be difficult to understand how much pain you've caused yourself because of a simple, wrong belief. That's where copious amounts of self-love comes in. Just love and accept your journey. Forgive yourself and others, and then move on.

This is the crux of shadow work: Shedding light on those things we'd rather hide. Accepting it, all of it, and then having the courage to grow into healthier patterns and beliefs.

Many times, our childhood wounds are the most painful and persistent. These are the wounds that say we're not worthy of love, or that our feelings are wrong, or that we have to take care of everything because nobody was around to take care of us.

This is a long process that I personally am working through and that I will continue to write about. A good way to get started, however, is to visit your inner child.

Nurture the inner child:

Maybe there's a scene you remember, or a time in your life. Hold the image of yourself in your mind's eye, and first stay aware, taking in any messages that arise

Tell yourself, "I love you and I'm here for you. It's not your fault. You did nothing to deserve this. You deserve love and you have a wonderful life ahead of you." You may even imagine yourself giving the younger you a hug.

Traveling back in time to give yourself love like this is very powerful. Maybe it sounds hokey, but I guarantee you will feel shifts if you include this practice in your shadow work. This inner child work is another tool to have in your box.

Peace comes from loving every part of your journey, even the dark places.

Wherever you are along the path, know that the way to peace is not ignoring the shadows, but rather shining light in even the darkest corners, so you feel love and peace emanating from every part of your soul.

Once you become aware of shadow beliefs that are hindering you from living your fullest life, you can consciously change your behavior and, in doing so, change your life. Each discomfort becomes an opportunity to investigate more fully, to learn more about yourself, and heal on an increasingly deep level.

This, my friend, is true peace. And this is why we can be grateful for even the rough days. Because when handled appropriately, every dark day is an opportunity for even more healing.

#shadow work #soul architecture #Suzanne Heyn #inner work #inner child #shadowwork #{w}holistic healing #self healing #self help #alternative healing #holistic medicine #holistic health #as within so without #heal yourself #healthy lifestyle #healthy mind #u

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hbgkjuedaoai-blog · 5 years ago

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Can I See Who Viewed My Instagram Video Quickly

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Conclusion

We have viably explained a lot upon passwords most noteworthy concern to remember is that you have to amend them from period to become old and never reuse them. Undeniably next most by far, see who perspectives your Instagram you how to see who viewed your instagram in fact infatuation to allow to those you genuinely know. So, can you look who views your Instagram in raid you have to save your Instagram cassette secure, look who points of view your Instagram private book in the options menu. I significantly recommend this leisure interest to every watchmen who commandeer photos of their kids to stay in be adjacent to considering connections and relations roughly the world. Grievously, this does not shield your folder from everyone. There are instruments out there that empower stalkers to look your private profile without gone it. The veracity of the business is that one dealing out can be a right of entry to other relational associations or email accounts, and previously it is very vital for casual networks to use the proportional usernames, passwords should be mighty and unique. Is it real that you are a superstar?

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vcsavgqaueoc-blog · 5 years ago

Text

Perfect Way To See Who Viewed My Instagram Video Quickly

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Can You See Who Views Your Instagram

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Firstly,New One Description

By and by loosen up, listen to some music, watch some YouTube accounts, make a coffee. Just don't close that site and sustain in the works relentlessly. According to the creators, dependent on the gift weight on Instagram API servers, this methodology can acknowledge wherever from several minutes to 15 or even 30 minutes in the most unprecedented cases. It's not taking place to them. It's coming on and end happening to Instagram and their servers. The impact of web based systems administration and stalkers on our lives. Who is stalking my Instagram. Web based cartoon have forced a modify in structure social bonds and vigorous can you see who views your instagram videos going on relationship as soon as substitute people. do you in the same way as in the same way as people observe constantly? In clash genuinely, you should maintain a strategic turn away from from this entry. Who views my Instagram in any case, you can use the application we assessed above in order to see who maxim your Instagram profile and square everyone whose username you don't see. I'm not your parent, thus I won't uncover to you what and to whom you can share, anyway I will presumably proclaim to you that some dreadful crazy people can watch photos of your youth or yours. They can unveil to you where you fake and later than and where you travel, or what extra goings-on your child is visiting or charmed by. I don't mean to distress you, anyway I have to exhort you that there are various dreadful people on the planet. The use of right to use settings could be recommended to the people who genuinely ought to be evident and get no opportunity to get out. The most huge thing is that it does accomplishment and it works snappy. It ought to exhibit to me who axiom my Instagram profile and it did. There is usefully unplanned to sham signs of improvement, the UI is especially something that stands out as underneath typical and should be unadulterated taking place to ensure that this application is less hard to use for your shadowy customer. Regardless, you ought to dissect warily. We have assessed distinctive substitute applications who are always enlightened as "the fundamental real plan" that empowers customers to see who has visited their Instagram profile. In any case, this isn't the primary event that they ration for every goals and excuse the mutual factor of these applications would be the declare in which that a good part of the become old they truly don't fill in as announced. After some time, it worked out that their usage influences for as far afield incite as we can recollect. This is particularly felt today by adolescents, for whom online informal communication is deserted an vital bit of their lives. Specialists have for quite a even though been contemplating whether (and gave this is valid, how) the usage of online vivaciousness impacts our enthusiastic wellbeing. Sometimes there are analyzes that portray, notwithstanding alternative things, how the usage of other advances can be amalgamated taking into consideration slant issue, paying tiny mind to whether it damagingly influences link subsequent to friends, or it impacts the individual fulfillment and the level of euphoria. Likely the most huge risk we direction by means of online systems administration media stages are stalkers which are a share of the time difficult to perceive and most stages don't back us later this situation previously we can't check who is seeing our profile, photos or accounts. This is the excuse it's noteworthy for people to contact applications, for instance, the referenced above in order to acknowledge who viewed my Instagram. This is the topic of what might be on the horizon, and as such we are moreover delineating supplementary research upon this issue. Online spirit now and once more have every one of the reserves of visceral a basic stage for youths and a crucial sort of gate once the world who perspectives my Instagram. It isn't by yourself a tell wherein one circulates self or comments, yet besides a sort of correspondence, quality in the works family when people whom the see who views your instagram teenage years does not see, anyway who call buddies or associates. The force of online life and the capacity of their effect are furthermore negative. We ought not ignore cyber-bullying, stalking and supplementary sharp experiences and inoffensive individual to individual correspondence districts that impact people's inclination that all is good bearing in mind the world, certainty and athletic condition.

Review

We have viably explained a lot upon passwords most noteworthy business to remember is that you have to fiddle with them from get older to epoch and never reuse them. Undeniably taking into consideration most by far, see who perspectives your Instagram you can you see who views your instagram in reality compulsion to ascend to those you genuinely know. So, can you see who views your Instagram in court case you have to save your Instagram cassette secure, look who points of view your Instagram private scrap book in the options menu. I significantly recommend this goings-on to all watchmen who capture photos of their kids to stay in adjoin following associates and relatives regarding the world. Grievously, this does not shield your photo album from everyone. There are instruments out there that empower stalkers to see your private profile without following it. The authenticity of the thing is that one meting out can be a door to supplementary relational relationships or email accounts, and back it is no question valuable for casual networks to use the proportional usernames, passwords should be strong and unique. Is it real that you are a superstar?

1 note · View note

lesbianfreyja · 6 years ago

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hey do u have any ways u force urself to write. i need to write this fucking faulkner paper and like ik i can and itll be good once i do it i just need to Do It its already like 900 years late. im loving yahfhskjd law so so so so much btw i rlly love ur characterization for den and the whole fic is just so endearing and enjoyable like theres heaviness to it but its not like overbearingly angsty and its just rlly fun to read

i have some advice but it might not be universal or healthy (lol) and it differs heavily based on what i’m writing

fic writing is for fun, and that’s why i try to remember when i’m doing it. sometimes it becomes obsessive (because i have ocd, and because i love validation, and that’s quite the line to tread lmao) but ultimately i do it because i love it/i have shit to say/stories drum in my fingers until i get them out, even if it takes time. i’m glad you love it!!!! if people didn’t i’d get demoralized way more often! with fic writing, usually i can’t force myself to do anything until i know the basics of what i want down - right now i’m stuck on a scene b/t charlie and mac because i know what i want them to get out of it, but i have no idea what the outside context of the overall conversation will be. usually in that case, i just have to wait it out.

inspo will come to me when it comes, maybe from binge watching the show, maybe from watching smth else, maybe from a convo i have irl or a dream or what have you. in the meantime i write as much around it as i possibly can. i’ve currently written every single scene for the next chapter that either came easily or at least didn’t come extremely difficultly, and once i have part of a scene down i usually let the characters’ voices follow me through the rest of it…sometimes you just have to let them run free. writing fic for me is often a solid push and pull of me nudging the characters down the path i want them to take, but mostly i just sit there and imagine them talking, and see what they say. i have to parse apart exactly how i think they’d say it, but i can get a fair amount of their tone and message just from listening to them have the convo in my head. not to be extremely embarrassing on main but when i was obsessed with twilight, stephenie meyer basically said this in her faq and it really resonated with me lmao. this applies to original fiction btw too. that’s why its often easy to finish a scene once i’ve begun it, if i can get a piece of the convo than usually i can build outward - give me a snippet of a convo and i can begin to see their location, what started this convo, and their motivations. i’ll have to trim it down to fit their tone/how often they lie/how difficult they find it to express themselves later, but after i get it all out, it’s easier to cut away the ooc parts until you’re left with glances to convey what used to be a paragraph and what have you

can’t write a sex scene? have a drink or two and write it all spelling errors and all, it’s usually way dirtier than i intended too but you can clean ALL that up and make it in-character in editing

academic writing was never nearly as difficult for me, especially once i got to college. pretty much everyone i know used adderall to write essays, and i sat down a few times expecting to do that myself, but i ultimately never ended up needing it. in high school i was smart enough to more or less make shit up to get through it (i always say the only thing i learned in high school is how to bullshit effectively) but in college you get to pick your research topics, or they’ll hand you a book and tell you to pick whatever part of it you want to write about, so i usually latched on to one snippet of interest and expanded from there (many of my essays were about how the characters were secretly gay or more or less feminist than they should be, as you can imagine)

i was never much for formal outlines, and i DON’T subscribe to the 5 paragraph essay format, but i usually made a basic outline in my notebook so i’d remember to hit all the points i wanted to make/be able to steer myself back on course when i started rambling abt something. usually i have an overarching point, and like 2 supporting arguments that i go into HEAVY detail about and probably have some supporting arguments about them within themselves. make an outline that lists your thesis and your 2 or 3 main points. if you CAN easily, write down some supporting arguments for those main points, but don’t get caught up on it.

how do i start? just sit down and fuckin start. deadass. tell yourself that if you finish before 8pm you can smoke a bowl or something, then smoke a bowl after you’re done regardless of the time. then sit down and just start typing, WHEREVER your mind wants to begin. let it, it’s way easier to follow your motivation than try to corral it, you’ll just end up giving yourself writer’s block

intros are easy. don’t worry too much about starting them; you can come up with a catchy first sentence way later (same with a catchy ending sentence; i still CANNOT write last lines for the life of me). for your intro literally just say: These 2 or 3 things are connected, actually, and I think they connect in a specific way to prove [thesis]. you can bulk out the intro later, but MOVE ON. that’s not the important part of the essay, at all. if your thesis can’t be turned into a question THAT YOU THEN ANSWER, then it needs to be bulked out. you should be able to make it a question, for example: Why is Emily Dickinson a lesbian? becomes “Dickinson’s lesbianism is the driving force behind her decisions to do x, y, and z” in which x y & z are the main points of your essay.

don’t worry too much about sources or quotes. i can’t tell you how many times i just made arguments in essays and then put in brackets [find a throwaway quote about x to support this later], then highlighted the text so it’d stand out and i’d remember to get back to it later. then MOVE ON.

don’t get caught up in anything, not grammar, not specifics, not finding the perfect segue between paragraphs. just try to get down everything you have to say FIRST, or you’ll bog yourself down and lose steam. sit there until you’re done making your points, then take a break

conclusions are easy. scroll back up to your intro. what does it say? put that back down, exactly, and bulk it out a little by referencing some points in the main paragraphs of your essay. if your intro just said “x y and z is true” then your conclusion should say “her woodcarving shows x is true, the fact that the moon was full that day is why y is true. these two things make z true”

go back and find sources/quotes to plug into all the times you wrote [find a throwaday quote]

TAKE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE OFF. if you try to edit and expand immediately, you WILL fail to catch things. if you’re a little unfamiliar with your own writing, you’ll be able to catch things like spelling errors, things that make so little sense you have no idea what you were trying to say, times you forgot to plug in a quote, or when a transition sounds a little like a record scratching instead of playing smoothly

if you’re really pressed for time: just fucking send it in without doing a second reread, because FUCK IT. getting it done is more important than perfectionism; fixing those last straggling spelling errors gets you +2 points whereas being a day late loses a letter grade

most importantly: WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT. if you’re only getting specific prompts, try to twist it as best you can until you give a fuck about it, it’s WAY easier to write about shit that matters to you. i LOVED twisting prompts until suddenly this boring ass white boy book is secretly about this minor female character that appeared on 2 pages, and after awhile i got really fucking good at it.

just sit down and start writing. you’ve got to start somewhere, even if you end up erasing and rewriting the starting point later. at least you’ve got the ball rolling.

#not to geek out and go full english major but i miss writing argumentative essays #like medium key #holy SHIT!! why is this an essay in and of itself like you didn't even ask lmao #fic stuff #yl #college #book tag #anon #ask

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strrne · 6 years ago

Text

Give Me a Signal, Ch.2

Chapters: 2/?

Word count (so far): 5579

AO3 Ch.1 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

Summary: When Padmé Amidala is unable to contact Coruscant while negotiating a loan on Scipio, the Senate suspects trouble, and sends Anakin Skywalker to go check on her. Of course, the resourceful senator isn’t really in any trouble – don’t flatter yourself, Rush Clovis – but there’s definitely some brewing.

@praetor-canis

Chapter 2

As soon as Anakin and Padmé had stationed themselves at a convincingly professional distance from one another, or perhaps as soon as he sensed himself being accused of something, Obi-Wan stirred awake.

“Isn't that right?” Anakin called to him before the Jedi Master had barely wiped the stupor off his eyes. “If I'd been alone, no one would have paid attention–”

“Anakin, what is going on?” Padmé wanted to know. Gone was the blissful giddiness at seeing her husband, in was listening to yet another bout of squabbling between two grown men, who she was starting to believe were actually physically glued to one another.

“You first,” Anakin insisted, as Obi-Wan was taking his time joining the blame game. “You aren't in any trouble, are you… Senator?”

Padmé shook her head. “No, it was just a misunderstanding. We talked about it at dinner, with… the bankers. Apparently they've been having wide-spread reception issues for the last few weeks or so.”

Obi-Wan shuffled over, looking as though he had either really needed that nap, or ruined the rest of his day by taking it. He did find it in himself, however, to shoot Anakin what appeared to be a 'I told you so' look.

“I knew they would send at least one of you,”Padmé sighed. She gestured at the laxly guarded door, which both Captain Typho and Teckla had just walked through with ease. “As you can see, we're all fine here. And now that we've established that, what's this about an arrest? There's a law that forbids your presence here?”

She was, of course, owning up to her own unfamiliarity with such a law, and already blaming herself for this whole muddle. The negotiations hadn't even started yet, and she already had two Jedi Knights to bust out of jail?

…Or a hotel lobby? Padmé narrowed her eyes as she finally tore her gaze from Anakin and looked around. It was all awfully nice for a lockup.

“Apparently,” Obi-Wan finally found the energy to open his mouth, somehow managing to articulate no less eloquently than usual, “The Scipians have a mostly overlooked, but technically still valid law that forbids military presence on the planet while an interplanetary negotiation is taking place, especially when said negotiation takes advantage of Scipio's status as neutral ground.” He gave a deep yawn, not covering his mouth until he was already done, and apologizing once he realized his mistake.

“That's ridiculous,” Padmé said. “I arrived here with a whole squad of clone troopers and their captain. Of course, they were asked to wait at the spaceport while we entered the neutral zone.”

“Yes… I did say 'mostly overlooked',” Obi-Wan pointed out. “I tried asking the employees about the particulars of this regulation,” Obi-Wan explained, gesturing at what appeared to be… some sort of reception desk. “They had to look it up on HoloNet. Long story short, a squad of troopers stationed outside the neutral zone would not count, whereas two decorated Generals has some troubling implications.”

He gave Anakin a long, significant look. “Especially when one of them refuses to leave without 'checking on the Senator'.”

“Anakin!” Padmé cried, crossing her arms confrontationally. “If you so much as elbowed–”

“I didn't!” Anakin insisted. Obi-Wan made a vague gesture that didn't really confirm or deny anything.

Padmé shook her head, all-too familiar with the great joys of bureaucracy and legal trifles to know this could yet turn into a fine mess. Then again… sometimes those same things were her very best friends.

“Only,” she began with optimism, “I haven't actually negotiated anything just yet!”

“You haven't?” Obi-Wan perked up.

“That's what it says, correct? Military presence is forbidden while the negotiations are underway. I have witnesses to attest that no such negotiations have yet taken place in any form, so that should ensure your imminent release and an easy solution to this misunderstanding.”

Padmé gestured for Typho and Teckla to come over, giving them detailed instructions how to retrieve the witnesses and subsequently secure the release as quickly as possible. The aides nodded without a single question, and saw themselves out.

Padmé looked at Anakin. He'd been awfully quiet for a while, and seemed almost disappointed that he'd soon have to leave after having just arrived, and barely gotten a, uh, first taste of his beloved wife. He did manage a small smile though, and there was a playful glint in his eyes that made her grin as well. She desperately wanted to at least hold his hand, and wondered if she could successfully pass that off as a 'always happy to do business with you' type of handshake. But that would mean she'd have to leave immediately after, not to mention give Obi-Wan a matching uncomfortably long farewell.

Although, truthfully… had she been unable to resist kissing him right then and there, Obi-Wan would have most likely suffered an inexplicable, unprecedented coughing fit, excused himself into a corner and muttered something about koja nuts in the nutrition bars.

“There's… how many of them now?!” Clovis groaned. He had not thought he could detest the word 'Jedi' any more, but on top of everything else, it was of course also a null plural. And with his luck, they were both secretly smitten with Senator Amidala and ready to run down the entire galactic economy if it somehow meant her happiness. He made grudging nods as the aides and a Muun representative combined their efforts to explain the situation.

“Yes, yes,” Clovis interrupted impatiently, “absolutely free them, yes, and make sure they leave the system without delay.”

He would've of course gone with Padmé and personally made sure of this in the first place, had she allowed him to. The Muun representative was eyeing him curiously, as though he was coming to realize that the negotiations, before even starting, had long ago stopped being unprejudiced, or generally in a good place to begin. What should have been a quick swipe of hand on a holopad was turning into a convoluted farce involving a very public exes' spat and a pair of clueless Jedi Generals.

And he had been so close… or perhaps, he had told her just enough. Just enough to awaken her own doubts, to compel her to eventually come back to him. There was no changing the negotiator at this point. She knew now it had to be her. He just hoped his gut was right.

“But sir, you see,” the Muun representative rambled on, snapping Clovis back to reality, “technically there is no evidence that the negotiations were not underway. The 'witnesses' you refer to had left the room, remember? And whatever passed between you and Senator Amidala after that point could technically be interpreted as a form of negotiation, or negotiation strategy.”

“We were alone for five minutes…”

In reality… some very sensitive information had indeed been exchanged. Clovis supposed he could only blame himself. He had wanted to play the dangerous game of legal loopholes and sticking to protocol, and inevitable backfire was his just reward. Still – his frustration was deepening into anger – this could not possibly be that difficult. No harm had been done – that the bankers knew of, or that in any way involved the Generals. The Jedi had legs attached to them, didn't they? And a spaceship, and the ability to fly said spaceship. Why, exactly, were they still talking about this?

“Military presence on a neutral planet while an interplanetary negotiation is underway could be interpreted as a form of attempted coercion over–” the Muun representative babbled, as though having either memorized or eaten a holobook on useless law articles.

“Please don't tell me we have to conduct an investigation.”

“We have to conduct an investigation.”

Darth Sidious' cloaked figure appeared on the palm of Dooku's hand, his shriveled form almost dark enough in its essence to extinguish even the holographic blue glow.

“My Lord,” Dooku greeted.

Sidious did not return the greeting, and in fact remained oddly quiet for a fair while, before starting to mutter under his breath what Dooku soon identified as the word 'interesting'.

“What is, My Lord?”

“Many things are, Lord Tyranus, for these are interesting times,” he responded. “I must confess… if the information that your spies provided is accurate… there are a few variables in this situation I had not… foreseen.”

Dooku barely reacted to the admission – although he was surprised – none too eager to visibly show doubt of his master's strategic genius. Still – this had to be a first.

“Still, most of our pawns are in place, and the few surprise additions, I think we can still use to our advantage.”

“Naturally, My Lord. How would you have me proceed?”

After a few tries, Padmé finally gave up on the hologram projector, unable to contact even her associates, who were on the very same planet, presumably only at a few klicks' distance from wherever this detention… palace was located. He desperately wanted to climb to the top of the nearest reception tower and do some tinkering – but apparently he wasn't really wanted on the planet at all. Anakin could not for the life of him understand how anyone could put protocol and rules before all the help he could give, all the use he could be… Two battalion-less Generals did not a war make. It made no sense.

All the other detainees had been bailed out a fair while ago, and it was really getting late, but Padmé had nevertheless stayed by his side all evening.

The “receptionists” were sleeping at the desk, and the guards were sitting on the floor, resting their heads against the wall, absently munching on something that smelled. Obi-Wan had retreated into a corner, his eyes closed, engaged in another meditation session, and probably getting all sorts of bad feelings all over.

All of this combined amounted to at least a moment's privacy for the husband and wife, and soon enough they found themselves spending it accordingly. Anakin was the first to ever so slightly incline his head in a hopeful fashion, but Padmé just immediately plunged into the kiss and took charge all the way from there.

It was a fleeting moment in a different world, far away from the war looming around them and all this bureaucratic trouble they didn't need, but at the same time – worth it all, and more. Perhaps not worth the war itself – was anything, really? – but worth the wait, and worth the fight. Worth making it out alive.

Then he made the mistake of opening his eyes, only to witness a pair of guards glowering and whispering at them, and making a show of losing their appetite. He was right back in the real world – where there was only the wait. And somewhere down the line, probably another fight, too.

“Who were you trying to contact?” he suddenly asked Padmé, who didn't care about the guards, and would have much liked for their little voyage across an alternate reality to go on a little while longer. Anakin himself wasn't sure why he wanted to know – but sometimes, even when he didn't want to probe, he couldn't help his Force senses – and something about the air around Padmé just seemed a little off.

Padmé sighed, and reached to scratch her head, and potentially ruin her perfect hairstyle, which she only ever did when she was reluctant to talk about something. She looked at him, seemingly bracing herself a moment, and causing Anakin to conjure up all kinds of awful and ridiculous scenarios, before she drew a deep breath and responded calmly, “The representative from the Banking Clan. I'm sure you remember Rush Clovis.”

Anakin gaped at her, unable to prevent his mouth from comically falling open. “Rush… Clovis?!” Before he knew it, or could in any way stop himself, he had already jolted up from the chair they shared, his voice risen to an alarming pitch and volume. Padmé followed the example, albeit in a more composed fashion.

“Let me rack my brain… oh yeah, Rush Clovis. Almost got you poisoned, conspired with the Separatists–”

“Anakin–”

“Thinks no means yes–”

“Anakin–”

“Nice fella! So, he's… back, huh?”

He couldn't help himself. Before he had even fully processed what, why or at whom he was angry, the rage was already there. All it took was a trigger. Be it a past trauma, something threatening his loved ones, or the thought of losing Padmé… or common jealousy. And somehow, all of these came together and took an ugly, tangible form in the cursed name of Rush Clovis, someone he had hoped to never see or hear of again. Sure, he remembered him.

But the rage had been there before the recall. Why was it always there, and where did it all come from?

“Anakin, whether you like it or not – whether I like it or not,” she placed a pacifying hand on his chest. “He's the assigned representative for these negotiations, and he...” Padmé hesitated.

There was so much of it. It almost seemed to require a designated target.

“And he what?”

“Anakin, we barely even got to begin the negotiations at all, before…”

“We arrived, and–”

“And messed things up, yes,” she shot back without blinking. Only now withdrawing her hand, she reached up to rub her temples and stopped to sort out her thoughts. “I know this is difficult to understand, but it is very important I hear him out. It is imperative that I do this, specifically.”

Anakin worked hard to compose himself.

“Why is that?”

Padmé lowered her voice to a whisper. The guards had fallen asleep, and, amazingly, Obi-Wan was still deep in meditation, or, again, skillfully faking.

“He made a very bold claim at dinner today. If it's true, the implications are huge… the potential consequences for this war massive. He said the–”

She gestured for Anakin to lower his head so she could whisper into his ear. For a moment, her soft voice and the tingly warm feeling on his ear sent him right back into the parallel universe. What she actually said, on the other hand, brought him right back.

“What? That's–”

“Not only that, but–”

There it was again, her warmth and her patience and her kindness, all trapped and taken advantage of in these convoluted circumstances.

Circumstances that she could maybe, just maybe sort out – if only he would let her. Or rather, accept that she was not his to let.

“Padmé, I don't trust that man.”

“I don't trust him, either,” she assured him. “But I might just believe him. The economics of this war have not been adding up for some time, hence the need to make this new loan agreement in the first place. Something is definitely up, and I want to get to the bottom of this.”

Anakin gave a vague nod. At this point, he mostly just wanted the argument to be over. He cherished these precious few moments with his wife, and would have liked for them all to be like little time capsules of utter bliss and perfection, that he could take with him to the battlefield and turn even rosier in his memory. He didn't want to fight – he already did enough of that and some more with the Separatists.

But the problem was, he didn't like that “something was up”. He was worried – afraid – that even if Padmé could handle this, he just wouldn't be able to.

“Okay,” he finally managed to say.

It was not until the next morning that Rush Clovis saw fit to arrive, along with an ever-growing cluster of Muun bankers.

”Pardon me, I'm confused,” Clovis said, a sardonic smile playing about his lips as he walked up to the pair, and a finally reinvigorated Obi-Wan; eyes decidedly fixed on Anakin. ”Is he a Jedi General or your personal bodyguard?”

”I'm a person – and I'm here, in person, to guard her,” Anakin responded before Padmé had a chance to. ”From, I don't know, persons.” ¨ Padmé shook her head, none too happy with either Clovis or Anakin's idea of a polite greeting.

”Yes… I do personally believe we left off on bad terms last time,” Clovis suddenly switched to diplomat mode. “I am sorry, and eager to rectify the situation. Speaking of situations…”

He proceeded to explain at length why the Generals were not to leave the planet at the earliest opportunity after all, while also being absolutely prohibited to take part in any business proceedings that involved himself and Senator Amidala. And why, in fact, they would soon be moved to a slightly smaller and less comfortable room.

#anidala #anidala fanfiction #Anakin Skywalker #Padme Amidala #The Clone Wars #miiiight not post all the chapters here only on ao3 #dont want to spam my non-fanfic-inclined followers too much lol #we'll see #but yeah #i promise the pace will somewhat pick up after this chapter #so far it's a more convoluted plot than in canon lol #i can't write romance in any case without it also having a general plot thats just how i do #star wars #fanfic

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donnerpartyofone · 7 years ago

Text

my pal x

for somewhere around a year now (i have trouble with chronology but that’s probably fair), i’ve had this buddy, who recently disappeared. my acquaintance with him began when i started to visit this convenient bar between the end of my work day, and the beginning of the thursday night radio show i co-host with one of my oldest friends. if i don’t get some time all by myself between these two social events, then i’m libel to lose my mind, so i appreciated the presence of this watering hole in the crumbling industrial campus where the radio station is located. i was worried, at first, when one of the bartenders started to make friends with me, just out of regular exposure, since socializing was the opposite of my reason for being there. once i got to know him, though, i was pretty glad for the company.

X was a terrific bartender who, even though he seemed to have been sober for years, could confidently walk me through the bar’s extensive beer program. besides that, he was a smart, funny guy with a lot of deep cultural cuts to share. i discovered that he had a lot in common with many of my most esteemed friends–he knew both high- and low-brow film, had an extensive awareness of rare independent and experimental music, and brandished an intimate knowledge of the scummier side of many major american cities as they existed in the 70s and 80s. we traded legitimate oddities, like recordings of punk and hardcore classics made by groups of little kids under different weird, hilarious circumstances. i still keep plenty of crusty, beer-drenched handwritten notes from him listing obscure bands i needed to check out, even though some are barely legible. i did my best to keep up with him, to give something back; i don’t have a genuinely deep knowledge of much of anything, but i keep a few cool secrets here and there.

as one might guess from some of the above, X was an old junkie. by “old” i really mean something more like “experienced” or “careworn” or something. he was in his 40s, which is not far off from my age, but he’d been through a lot more than i can imagine. we became closer when he asked me if i would read a passage from a book he was trying to write. he didn’t expect that i’d give him extremely detailed copyediting notes, and unwieldy chunks of my personal reactions to his grimy autobiography. although he was initially nervous about exposing the worst parts of his history to his new friend, he seemed pretty thrilled to get so much work and attention out of me, and i was happy to do it. i didn’t really know how to say that i didn’t think this hubert selby jr style of reportage was in style anymore–contemporary readers who are interested in this kind of underground prose are not necessarily interested in straight white male racial commentary and opinions on sex workers and trans people and such. it isn’t that his writing was so aggressively bigoted, but it was heavily colloquial and of its moment and first-person, and i don’t know if many people are interested in that specific perspective anymore. however, his writing was also engagingly florid, grim, funny, and marked by a very interesting ability to shift suddenly between differing timelines and even hallucinations. i was totally pleased to participate. i only worried that it was too stylized, that it was more focused on attention-getting than on, i don’t know, telling the truth. a lot of my direction was aimed at bringing him back to exactly how something felt or looked or smelled at the time–what literally happened–as opposed to how he thought he should sell it to the public. but, the truth, as he told me frankly was, “i’m sick of being broke.” he had a friend who had had a modicum of success selling his own self-published junkie memoir, and was hoping to supplement his rent-paying ability in the same way. personally, i just thought he should keep writing, because he could.

when i met X he was doing basically-ok, but i had a sense that i had encountered him at the midpoint of a downward spiral. shortly before we met, he had broken up with the love of his life. you got that sense from the way he spoke, in spite of whatever conversational restraint, that he knew what he was talking about, that he had really peaked with her. she was a musician in the latest arrangement fronted by a certain famous and influential lady punk, and he still seemed to admire his ex very much. while he was trying to recover from his loss, he was also constantly on the hunt for decent living quarters. he moved from a punk squat in brooklyn to a sublet situation, under some couple. one day i came in to hear that the couple had blown town. X was sitting at home relaxing, when the u.s. marshals burst in to seize the place; the couple had been just taking X’s rent for themselves, for months, and then vanished, leaving my friend basically holding the bag. suddenly he was homeless, penniless, and without a single form of ID. he was couch surfing in new jersey for a few weeks when he managed to bribe his old landlord with his last $50 to be allowed in for just a minute to get his things. he came out with two large garbage bags that he believed contained his belongings, only to discover that the bags ALSO contained a lot of straight up garbage, meaning he had to find a way to do laundry right away. he had also lost all his personal documentation. getting an ID is so incredibly difficult and anxious-making even if you already have all the qualifying papers, i had an impossible time finding an appropriate reaction to what he was telling me. in america, if you are an adult with no ID, you might as well kill yourself. but of course, you don’t say that kind of thing.

X is a survivor, though, clearly, so i had hopes. as i said, he’d been through a lot by the time i met him. one night i was trying to sell him on the astounding experimental prison drama GHOSTS…OF THE CIVIL DEAD, when he asked me if i liked prison movies. Sure, i said, Not categorically, but I like a good one. after a beat, he replied, “man, i HATE JAIL! jail fucking SUCKS! i been to rikers, i been to sing sing, i been to attica…it all SUCKS, MAN!” on the ellipse, he listed a variety of other famous prisons in other states where he’d lived. it would be putting it too strongly to say i was surprised, given his rough and tumble early years, but i was sort of impressed in some way. unfortunately it was only recently, now, that i started watching a lot of documentary material on penal facilities. at the time i ignorantly laughed to myself, “well of course prison sucks, what a hilarious thing to say…” but the reality is that jail, prison, wherever they stick you, sucks a lot more than is obvious from pure theory. besides the basic and well known problems with the very institution, there’s also the smell, the unrelenting noise, the uncompensated labor, the unique pressures of prison society, all sorts of things that a non-con can barely guess at. i wish i still had the opportunity to ask X if he wanted to talk about it some more.

all that said, it was probably too much for me to hope that X would land on his feet. i mean i still hope that, but i feel a little foolish. one night, one of the last times i saw him, i left him an envelope with a hundred bucks in it. he was naturally delighted, but also extremely embarrassed. the next time i saw him, i told him that i was sure he would have said “no” if i asked if he would accept help, and he confirmed that yeah, it was a good thing that i just forced it on him without asking. over the next few months i had my own shit going on–sickness, family death, mandatory travel, whatever–and didn’t get to see him as often as our usual weekly meet up. when i saw him again, something even worse had happened to him that, typically, wasn’t even his fault: he was out of work for a month due to the sudden emergence of a cyst in his leg that got so bad, so quickly, that he had to buy new pants to accommodate it. apparently, it was the result of a car accident he’d suffered in his 20s. at the time, they told him that he could get a plate in his leg, but he would walk with a permanent limp, and he would certainly never run again. as a young, very broke dude, he refused that extra step, and healed just fine on his own. all the while, the potentiality of this cyst was lurking, and suddenly he found himself unable to stand on his own or even wear normal clothes. it was so close to a major artery that they were unable to lance it. luckily, i thought, he reported that it was healing pretty quickly on its own; he had a good relationship with his boss, and he expected to be back to work in a month.

the last time i ever saw him was about a month after he was supposed to have returned to work. he looked sick, flu-ish, and seemed to have a hard time finding something to say. we’d been talking about The Stranger Beside Me, Ann Rule’s classic true crime novel-cum-memoir about knowing Ted Bundy before and during his career as a serial murderer. as an erstwhile criminal, X had a personal interest in other criminals, especially those who were famous for their personalities. for naive, sheltered people like myself, it’s easy to think about guys like jesse james or whoever, people who represent an archetypal struggle between law and chaos, and whose main battle has to do with money, something anyone can relate to. it isn’t as automatic for general people to relate to the charles mansons and varg vikerneses and henry lee lucases and ed geins of the world. what we law-abiding citizens miss is not really connected to the validity of the philosophies of these criminals, or even the right to life of their victims; the potential appeal of such outlaws is in their loneliness, their permanent and foregone misunderstoodness, and their petulant abuse of a society that barely even supports the people who abide by its rules. joe coleman, the “outsider artist” whose portraits of infamous crooks and perverts have made him famous, has equated his subjects with frankenstein’s monster, and while i have no interest in forgiving misogynistic narcissists like ted bundy, it is still possible for me to understand what coleman must mean. some people, by virtue of their very chemistry, are irrevocably exiled from “normal” society, and then what are they supposed to do? what are WE supposed to do? anyway, the last time i saw X, we met at the bar, and i gave him my copy of The Stranger Beside Me the moment i finished the last page.

at the time, i knew that X had been unable to pay his phone bill, so i didn’t attempt to call or text him. now, it seems that he no longer has access to email, either.

the last time we spoke, X sheepishly admitted that a minister he knew was allowing him to borrow the guy’s private quarters–a bed, a stovetop, a shower–on a temporary basis. i still had hopes. i also had a lot of guilt. i imagined that i should be able to save him. the apartment i keep with my fiance is hilariously small; the door to our bedroom, a room that just barely fits our bed and really doesn’t fit our collective clothing, doesn’t close all the way and makes a loud noise when you open it, and the bathroom door barely closes, and our couch might not even accommodate someone of X’s height. we don’t even have much of a floor to speak of. still, i thought about letting him stay in our hallway, or on our roof, and wondered how long it might be before someone called the cops or our landlord used it as an excuse to kick us out. i also wondered how long it would take for the three of us to be at each other’s throats in this tiny space, if i managed to work this out. i still wonder what i should have done, if i already missed a legitimate opportunity to save this guy’s life.

i never know what to do with people who are in dire need. i see a homeless guy on the subway, and i start thinking, WHAT IS KEEPING ME FROM TAKING THIS GUY HOME TO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO STAY? like what, am i gonna lose my dvd player? couldn’t i live with that? what the fuck is my problem? i finally set up a reoccurring donation to nyc’s coalition for the homeless, but even then i’m constantly asking myself what’s stopping me from doing more. and i mean, i know what’s stopping me from doing more; needing insurance for preexisting conditions, maintaining the private domesticity i’ve committed to with my husband-to-be, fear of being raped, fear of losing my apartment, etc. almost nothing really seems like a good reason, to the fullest extent of my angry imagination. i can’t help imagining that my friend is dead, and there might have been something i could have done about it. it might be a little bit of an overreaction at the moment, but it’s not completely irrational. i don’t know what to think.

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nagichi-boop · 3 years ago

Note

you should take some time to eat and hydrate. make sure you remember to wash your face, brush your hair, and brush your teeth. take a moment to breathe and catch your breath. no matter what you may be going through, you will have support if you need it. you are loved by all of us and if you ever feel sad, remember that its okay to feel sad and cry. you are valid and amazing. you shouldn't push yourself to impossible standards. get some rest by napping, sleeping, or just reading a thing for a few minutes. watch a ghibli movie and remember that all the little things in life are just as precious and beautiful as the big things in life. take your time with what you do.

everything will be okay

Hi idk who this is but I’d like to hug the heck out of you. Thank you for this random but welcomed anon.

Honestly I don’t know how to feel right now. My emotions have been all over the place. And now all of a sudden I may have to make decisions about my physical health that could impact me for the rest of my life when I can barely choose what to eat for lunch most days.

I keep wondering if I’m being lazy for not really doing much. Like all I do is watch YouTube and have afternoon naps. I don’t really go out and I don’t socialise because I don’t have friends and haven’t really been able to for like 6 years. I’m just too worried about everyone abandoning me or hating me.

And speaking of which, someone who I’ve talked to online for months (if not longer) suddenly blocked me on Instagram and that hurt like hell. I keep thinking about what I could have done wrong, why they blocked me, what might have happened, etc. Some days I feel sad at myself for being a bad person, other days I end up getting mad at them for not even bothering to tell me why they blocked me.

Then there’s my whole work situation. I have a fit note to say I’m unfit for work which is up for renewal next week, but I honestly can’t tell whether I need it or I’m exaggerating my feelings just to be lazy. Like most days I feel numb and like nothing is rly real and so consequences aren’t real, but other times I’ll feel completely fine. Well okay, not completely fine, but I won’t feel bad. And then I question everything. Idk, maybe this can all be explained by bpd or whatever, but even that feels like an excuse cuz I’m not diagnosed. I have no clue.

I am trying…or at least I think I am. I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore. Am I taking a break cuz I need it or because I’m being lazy? Do I want help or am I looking for more reasons to feel “unique”? Is it that I can’t do certain “normal” things or am I just cowardly hiding behind mental illnesses (including those that I haven’t had diagnosed) to avoid doing anything remotely difficult? Maybe I wanted to feel this way.

Sorry for using this ask to vent. Idk, it’s been a weird week. I am trying to take things one day at a time, but it’s kind of exhausting. Some nights I’ll be completely numb like I am now. Other nights I’ll be really angry. And other nights I have to almost restrain myself so I don’t do anything reckless and harmful to myself. I want a break from myself but sadly mental illness doesn’t work like that. And I don’t really have anyone irl I can depend on for support, either, so I’m having to be the patient and the doctor for myself.

I guess this is my long winded way of saying thank you. I’m trying I think to be kinder to myself and take care of myself. It’s just not easy.

Whoever and wherever you are, I hope you’re having a good day. And that you have a good month. And a good year. And just…a good everything. Take care of yourself too. <3

#🍊anon #thank you for your kind words anon #I hope you keep well and stay safe #vent #long post #nagichi asks

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mylifeblog814 · 3 years ago

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Twoo Chat Messages

Messaging on Twoo is quite easy. You just have to hit the chat button present on the profile of the person you want to chat with. You will get the space to type and send a message to the profile you are onto; then, the send button will be present right next to your typing space. Is sending messages free? Sending and receiving messages on Twoo. Just to delete messages from twoo chat they are so many messages. Asked by: Ervin: Ads by Google. This site is best viewed while logged in. Continue with Google Continue with Facebook. Sign Up with Email. A: Top Solutions. In any case never share your financial details like creditcard or your real identity. Its very common now. Jul 03, 2021 You received this notification because you are a member of Twoo. Change your settings Massive Media Ltd 8, Northumberland, London WC2N 5BY, UK [email protected] BE. Twoo is a con company: you get instant likes and messages, but you can't see who writes you (most likely it's a bot, using hot photos of porn stars to seduce you) and they write you a. Meet millions of new people from all over the world, wherever you are. Have a good chat, make new friends or even find the love of your life. Because life is all about the people you meet.

How can I change the amount of mail notifications I receive?

Mail notifications are e-mails sent to your e-mail address to alert you when you have a new visitor, a new message, a new match.. You can choose if you want to receive them or not. It's up to you, but remember: if your match is visiting your profile, you might want to know about it immediately, don't you? You can always change your mail notification settings by going to Settings. Click the pencil icon next to 'Mail settings' and choose your preferred notification settings. Don't forget to save your changes!

How can I change what I’m looking for?

You can edit your preferences on your profile page or in the search filter.

How do I send someone a message?

Visit the profile of the person you want to contact. Hit Chat and type what you want to say in the text box. Enjoy chatting on Twoo!

I want to change my birth year

Due to safety reasons, you can only change your date of birth once. If you made a mistake in your birth year and you can't correct it yourself anymore, please contact the Help Desk with a scan of your ID so we can correct it for you.

How can I block users?

Free Cuban Dating is part of the dating network, which includes many other general and cuban dating sites. As a member of Free Cuban Dating, your profile will automatically be shown on related cuban dating sites or to related users in the network at no additional charge. For more information on how this works, click here. Support; FAQ/Help; Contact Us. Find Cuban singles for flirty online dating. Finding friendly and attractive Cuban singles in your city couldn’t be easier when you sign up to our dating site. We’re the first-choice website for single Cubans, and what’s even better is that lots of our members are hoping to meet a. Free Online Dating in Cuba Harry1974. Hola,soy una persona alegre,honesta y divertida. I would like to share my life with the right person because i have enough wisdom and knowledge which i can. Cuban dating websites.

On all profiles and in all messages, you'll find a 'Block' link if you click the three dots in the circle or the flag at the right. Blocked users can no longer contact or visit you. You won't see them in Discover or in your search results. You can also report abuse by clicking 'Report abuse' on the user's profile or in his/her private message. If you want to report someone that you can't find in your inbox anymore, you can contact us and include any useful information that might help us to identify this user. We'll make sure to look into it, but it might take a little longer than the direct reporting method described above.

I've forgotten my password. What do I do?

Click on the 'Forgot your password?' link on the log in page and follow the instructions.

What is Twoo?

Twoo is the most fun way to meet new people in your area. Fun Meeting new people doesn't have to be difficult at all. Twoo is all about chatting, sharing photos and meeting new people. This way you will never feel alone. Chat The first thing you want to do when you see a nice profile is starting a conversation, right? We promise you lots of people who are eager to have a chat. With real people No fake profiles on Twoo. You should feel safe and have lots of fun! It's up to you So what do you want to do? Are you looking for a smile? A laugh? Maybe a stream of positive energy? A good friend? How about a date? It's up to you!

How do I delete my account?

Are you sure you want to leave us? We'll miss you a lot! If you're sure you want to delete your account, please go to Settings and click the Edit icon in the Account section. Then click 'Delete account' and follow the instructions.

Launched in 2011 by the Massive Media Company, Twoo is one of the world’s largest chat sites. Ever since its inception, Twoo has become a strong contender in the social apps sphere. People sign up to Twoo for various reasons, including creating friendships and finding potential matches.

Although the Twoo app does not feature match-making capabilities, it uses an algorithm that connects its users to the best match in their interests and location. Available in 38 languages and serving over 50 million members, it has made a name for itself in every part of the world.

But is the Twoo chat site everything that it claims to be? Well, keep reading this Twoo review to find out whether this site is worthwhile.

Twoo Dating Site

Combines traditional dating site and modern chat site features, meaning that users can enjoy the best of both worlds

Diverse site that is available in over 200 worldwide countries and is represented in over 38 languages

Easy sign-up process as Twoo can pull information from your Facebook account

Strict verification process and requirements

A great place to widen social networks

Users are too general and do not declare the kind of relationship that they are looking for upfront. Therefore, you may end up investing your feelings in someone who is merely looking for friendship

Incomplete profiles are not visible to others

Search options are limited unless you purchase credits

After signing up for Twoo, I found that the site had more male (60%) than female (40%) members. Granted, this difference is significant, but it also means that women are spoilt for choice when it comes to potential partners.

Over two million members come from the USA, and these are most of the members on the platform. However, other members come from countries like Brazil, Belgium, Mexico, Spain, Italy, and Argentina.

What was most refreshing was that the site had a high activity level any time I logged in. While you will find a 20-year old as well as a 65-year old here, the younger demographic certainly dominates the site.

3/5

Signing up for a Twoo account involved using a valid email address or my Facebook account. It was easy for me to use Facebook because the site automatically copies all the information from your Facebook account.

But if you do not choose the Facebook option, you must provide information on your gender, age, and purpose of joining the site. After that, you will confirm your email address, and the site will send you on to many potential dates and friendships.

Oh, did I mention that Twoo welcomes you with 50 bonus credits? Don’t take these for granted because the credits will be useful in accessing certain premium features. Signing up is this easy!

Contacting others on Twoo is a matter of using basic and advanced search filters, the chat feature, or sending likes and super likes. It is important to note that Twoo does not provide match options for its members. However, it allows you to create connections out of your own volition.

Let’s start with the search filters; here, you type in the name or location of the person you want to find, and their profile will appear. You then tap on their profile to send a message. There is also a chat feature that will enable you to strike up a conversation.

This is how I sent messages:

However, when I did not want to send Twoo messages, I clicked on the “like” option for those who caught my fancy and the “Super like” option for those who blew my mind, if you know what I mean. They would send a like or two back, and the conversation would start from there.

Profile

3/5

The profiles on Twoo are rather typical. There is really nothing outstanding about them. They only come with basic information such as your age, gender, and a summary of your activities on the site.

Some questions appear at random parts of your profile, and as you answer these questions, the information you give will be added to your profile. Do not take these questions lightly, as the answers determine your interaction on the site.

After all, you are looking to partner up with someone who has similar interests. I found it best to be as honest as possible.

This is a snippet of my Twoo profile:

I found that I could edit my profile at any given time, as the profile information is not permanent. You can edit to your heart’s content. The profile also includes a verified photo that you upload from your device or imported from your Facebook account. Remember, the most stunning photos get the best attention.

Mobile App

4/5

You can download Twoo for Android or iPhone on the Google Play Store or Apple Store. The app is completely free for all users to download.

Using the app was such a joy because of the convenience that it brings. I could access the app no matter where I was. There were no lags whatsoever as I was using the app. It was smooth sailing from download to sign in.

Even better is the fact that the Twoo app works on all mobile phone browsers.

Membership Options

3/5

While you can use your free account to navigate and interact on Twoo, it does not give you access to all the site’s features. Therefore, you will be missing out on the complete chatting experience.

As Twoo offers its premium membership in weekly and monthly variations, you can decide on the pricing that suits you best.

Other than paying in cash, you can also exchange premium packages for credits. With credits, you will rank highly in search results. You choose what works best for you!

Twoo is a great dating platform that introduces new approaches to online dating.

As the site focuses on chatting rather than creating matches, members can get invested in the process and get to know each other for who they are, not because the site says they may belong together.

This is a great option for those who have the time and are interested in nurturing a friendship or relationship.

Twoo Chat

Frequently Asked Questions

Twoo Site

How can I delete my Twoo account?

Log into your Twoo account with your username and password. On the homepage, click on the three dots on the top-right section right next to your avatar. Choose the “settings” option and select the “Account” option. Click the “edit” icon and select the “delete your account” option.

What is the Twoo customer service number?

To contact the Twoo customer service team, you can call them at (214) 576-3272 or fill in the contact form that you will find in your Twoo account “help” section.

Can I change the number of Twoo free notifications that I receive?

Twoo sends mail notifications to the email address that you provided during the account sign-up process. Usually, these alerts let you know that you have a new view of your profile, a new message, or a new match.

However, if you feel like the messages are becoming too cluttered in your inbox and do not wish to receive them anymore, you can always opt out of the service. Through the “settings” section in your account, choose that you do not prefer free mail notifications.

Twoo vs Badoo: Which one is the better site?

Download Twoo Chat Messages

While both Twoo and Badoo are great dating sites that have the potential of introducing you to your perfect match, Badoo has an ace over Twoo. According to our review of Badoo, Badoo has privacy options, multiple language options, push notifications, and invisibility options, features which Twoo lacks.

Online dating introduction message example. If you're not sure how to introduce yourself on a dating site or app, try out these fun options. Basic First Message Examples Just as you would introduce yourself to someone in real life, start with a form of 'hello' and the short version of why you're reaching out. Self-Introductions for Online Dating Sites I met my husband through online dating and I can still remember how excited I was when the computer informed me that 'YOU'VE GOT EMAIL!' Excited about opening up my email because I was expecting something to read every time I came home from work. If you want to use one of these examples for a section of a longer online dating profile on a site like OkCupid, simply move the call-to-action to the end of your profile. That’s the line at the very end that tells her what to do next, i.e. Message you or swipe right. Short Dating Profile Example #10. Dating Site Self Introduction Sample - Dating profiles: three awesome examples to learn from. Examples of How to Introduce Yourself on Online Dating Sites Bad Examples of Dating Profile Headlines: Messages That Emphasize Similarities. Sincerely, Tatiana.

In other words, Badoo comes with features and options that are much more essential in giving you a wholesome dating experience in comparison to the compatibility features that Twoo comes with.

However, both dating apps are available for free, compatible with Android and iOS devices, and have a Facebook sign-in option.

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romero398469rebecca · 3 years ago

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Premier League Live Scores, Stats & Blog | Matchweek 30 | /21

Epl soccer matches today - Premier League TV schedule and streaming links - World Soccer Talk

I contacted NBC and they said matches exclusive to Todaj would be available soon after the final whistle. Hopefully this is how it turns out but you never know. What is my best choice in purchasing a program to watch all of the Arsenal games? Is that even possible. Is it goday me or is this so cringeworthy? I dont care that Scott in Epl soccer matches today is sitting with his baby in Chelsea gear watching the game on TV, or Dan in Florida has dressed up his epl soccer matches today. They put on the screen that matvhes ex Cinncinnati Bengals Matvhes has tweeted he is excited to watch the game and we got a full screen picture of JJ Watts dogs sitting next to a swimming pool.

We then got lots of Rebecca Lowe rating peoples breakfasts. Someone make them stop. Get real guys, they are trying to attract a broader audience, which is all good for the game in the Soccwr.

Sometimes it will take a while for it to show up after the live game matched finished. Usually after an hour it should appear. Come on Norwich.

The video quality is outstanding, the way a premier league game should be seen. I then saw the Spanish replay of the Chelsea game on the Nbc Sports app and the video quality was less than stellar. If you have the Premier League site here your app should be pristine video quality. They have eye money and the resources.

NBC Sports gets a little lazy with the video quality because they know that no other tv network in the United States has any plans to buy the rights to broadcast the PL anytime in the near future. Can somebody please teach the idiots at NBC about what full epl soccer matches today stats are. This happens quite often. She never persists and changes the subject or cuts to a commercial break. Epl soccer matches today lucky are you guys!!!

Due to the virus, soccer watchers epl soccer matches today at the mercy of network TV. Todayy at first but boring. A second sighting could be most instructive. Also, when the League starts up, why not run the words the fans sing across the bottom of the screen.

Is that a good idea. Rex Hearn, 89, Manchester City supporter since 7. Surely after all these years some enterprising fan has collected them in book form to which you may refer. We understand! Rex Hearn. Love that we ssoccer the start of a fixture list. Just wondering about your source? Epl soccer matches today Ian, the clubs epl soccer matches today NBC Sports as well as other media outlets wait until everything is officially natches before publishing the schedules.

Thanks again. It says that it is on Telemundo in the official Premier League app and I am just epl soccer matches today to make sure that it is true. Sometimes the official Premier League app has the wrong listings. Yes, the Peacock games on Sunday will be on Gold as well. Brighton-Newcastle will be on Peacock and Gold also. Replays for all epl soccer matches today will be available after 9 pm ET.

I tried the Gold this year, but never had enough discipline to not elp up the scores until 9 pm. I will not sign up for package next rpl. In total, Peacock Premium will present more than 1, hours of Premier League live match and shoulder programming — the most robust offering ever available in the U.

Included are full-event replays for all matches on-demand after 9 p. Here in the U. IT makes it very easy to track your wagers, post the odds, track different sportsbooks to epl soccer matches today the best odds. Do you know if there is anything like that published in the U.

I would love to subscribe to it as it would make wagering on the games less time consuming and more enjoyable. I would imagine mathces there is they also might publish for the German, and other Premier level todah. Thanks for any help you can give me. Sky Sports picks the games for their television broadcasts, which sometimes require approval from police for games that are derbies or matches that are considered ssoccer be more dangerous requiring additional police protection for fans.

The process takes time. I blame all three of them because they have cheated a huge number of Premier soccer fans from a great deal of pleasure. A pox on all three of these selfish organizations! They took it away, now you have soccer pay to get it? I think you call that epl soccer matches today At least this Saturday and Sunday I actually will get 3 each day; unless that changes between now and then!!! Can anybody find a phone number to call Peacock for live help?

I mentioned before to very wary of giving them your credit card information. Rip off artists. So apparently, if you want to watch the reigning EPL champs, you need Peacock at the moment. Maybe in November I can watch Liverpool. I noticed that!!! A epl soccer matches today shame. Like Check here tell pel, it was fun while it lasted!

Looks like Christopher Harris was right. NBC is screwing over its cable subs a bit more this year. Chris: thanks for the link. I caution people again to be wary of this vendor. Do you want the shock of being wrongly charged? The hassle of dealing with an organization that hides its phone number?

Epl soccer matches today chat line appears inoperative? Other contact info made difficult to obtain? Even the epk writing up the case noted difficulty reaching them. Do you have the time and disposition to socccer epl soccer matches today such scocer for such a poor service? Will report outcome. Obviously it looks like an error occurred with your experience.

Mztches companies make mahches difficult to find their phone number. I already continue for Peacock Premium but, unlike every other non-HBO service, it is soccef to watch Peacock outside of the home.

My friend has an old Roku and a Amazon fire stick, toray the app is unavailable. And she is a Comcast customer. But if you are paying for it goday epl soccer matches today should be available wherever you epl soccer matches today to watch it. But NBC is making it very difficult for me to share my love of the game with others.

A quick update on epl soccer matches today Peacock tribulation. Good news. Thanks to Chris H. The sign up process was clunky, user unfriendly, and I had no confirmation that it went thru. So I tried again but this time more cautiously opting for the monthly, as my confidence in Peacock ebbed.

Bingo… access to the Prem! I received the monthly charge, but later also got charged for the whole epl soccer matches today for the failed sign up. My error was that, in my initial frustration to get activated, Jatches must have entered my email incorrectly.

So they were also charging me for that service, feeding to nobody or someone lucky! It was the result of a harried fan being careless out of frustration, but why not install a system that would require email validation? Looks like Peacock Premium subscribers have been screwed over??

How greedy is that? Just using it to force in new Peacock viewers!! I hope they lose the next Premier League contract. Matchrs New Castle vs. ET Aston Villa vs. ET Everton vs. Time Fixture TV channel 3 p. ET Manchester City vs. Fixture Norwich City vs. Southampton Tottenham vs. Manchester United Watford vs. Leicester City Brighton vs. Arsenal West Ham vs. Wolves Bournemouth vs.

Crystal Palace New Castle vs. Crystal Palace epl soccer matches today 0 Manchester About his. Everton 0 0 Aston Villa. Manchester United 0 0 Liverpool. Newcastle United 0 0 Arsenal. Southampton 0 0 Leicester City.

Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Sheffield United. West Bromwich Albion 0 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers. Arsenal 0 0 West Bromwich Albion. Aston Villa 0 0 Manchester United. Fulham 0 0 Burnley. Leeds United 0 0 Tottenham Hotspur.

Premier League TV schedule and streaming links

Leicester City 0 0 Newcastle United. Liverpool 0 0 Southampton. Manchester City 0 0 Chelsea. Sheffield United 0 0 Crystal Palace. West Ham United 0 0 Everton. Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 0 Brighton and Hove Albion.

English Premier League Schedule

Burnley 0 0 Leeds United. Everton 0 0 Sheffield United. Crystal Palace 0 0 Aston Villa. Manchester United 0 0 Leicester City. West Bromwich Albion 0 0 Liverpool. Chelsea 0 0 Arsenal. Newcastle United 0 0 Manchester City.

0 notes

andrustara · 3 years ago

Text

Premier League Fixtures | Sky Sports

Epl schedule tomorrow - EPL Fixtures This Weekend |

If you have the Premier League then your app should be pristine video quality. They have eye money and the resources. NBC Sports gets a little lazy with the video quality because they know that no other tv network in the United States has any plans to buy the rights to click at this page the PL anytime in the near future. Can somebody please teach the idiots at NBC about what full match stats are. This happens quite often.

She never persists and changes the subject or cuts to a commercial epl schedule tomorrow. How lucky are you guys!!! Due to the virus, soccer watchers are at the mercy of network TV. Fun at first but boring.

A second sighting could be most instructive. Also, when the League starts epl schedule tomorrow, why not run the words the fans sing across the bottom of the screen. Is that a good idea. Rex Hearn, 89, Manchester City supporter since 7. Surely after all these years some enterprising fan has collected them in book form to which epl schedule tomorrow may refer. We understand! Rex Hearn. Love that we have epl schedule tomorrow start of a fixture list.

Just wondering about your source? Hi Ian, epl schedule tomorrow clubs and NBC Sports as well as other media outlets wait until tomorros is officially announced before publishing the schedules. Thanks again. It says that it is on Telemundo in the official Premier League app and I am just wanting to make sure that it is true. Sometimes the official Premier League app has informative post wrong listings. Yes, the Peacock games on Sunday will be on Gold as shedule.

Brighton-Newcastle will be on Peacock and Gold also. Replays for tojorrow matches will be available after 9 pm ET. I tried the Gold this year, but never had enough discipline to not look up the scores until 9 pm. I will not sign up for package next season. In total, Peacock Premium will present more than 1, hours of Premier League live match schedul epl schedule tomorrow programming — the most robust offering epl schedule tomorrow available in the U.

Included are full-event replays for all matches on-demand after 9 p. Here in the U. IT makes it very easy to track your wagers, post the odds, track different sportsbooks to select the best odds. Do you know if there is anything like that published in the U. I would love to subscribe to it as it would make wagering on the games less time consuming and more enjoyable.

I would imagine if there is they also might publish for the German, and other Premier level leagues. Thanks for any help you can give me.

Sky Sports picks the games for their television broadcasts, which sometimes require approval from police scheduoe games that are derbies or matches that are considered to be more dangerous requiring additional police protection for fans. The process takes time. I blame all three of them because they have cheated a huge number of Premier soccer fans from a great deal of pleasure.

A pox on all three of these selfish organizations! They took it away, now you have to pay to get it? I think you call epl schedule tomorrow extortion!? At least this Saturday and Sunday I actually will get 3 each day; unless that changes between now epl schedule tomorrow then!!! Can epl schedule tomorrow find a phone number to call Peacock for live help? I mentioned before to very wary of giving them sdhedule credit card information.

EPL Fixtures This Weekend

Rip off artists. So apparently, if epl schedule tomorrow want to watch the reigning EPL champs, you need Peacock at the moment. Maybe in November I can watch Liverpool. Epl schedule tomorrow noticed that!!! A real shame. Like I tell everyone, it was fun while it lasted! Looks like Christopher Harris was right. NBC is screwing over its cable subs a bit more this year. Chris: thanks for the link.

I caution people again to be wary of this vendor. Do you want the shock epl schedule tomorrow being wrongly charged? The hassle of dealing with an organization that hides its phone number?

Whose chat line appears inoperative? Other contact info made difficult to obtain? Even the investigator writing up the case noted difficulty reaching them. Do you have the time and disposition to deal with such problems for such a poor service? Will report outcome. Obviously it looks e;l an error occurred with otmorrow experience. Many companies make it difficult epl schedule tomorrow find their phone number.

I already pay for Peacock Premium but, unlike every other non-HBO service, it is difficult to watch Peacock outside of the home. My friend has an old Roku and a Amazon fire stick, so the app is unavailable. And she is a Comcast customer. But if you are paying for it then it should be available wherever you want to watch it.

But NBC is making it very difficult for me to share my love tomorroww the game with others. A quick update on my Peacock tribulation. Good news. Thanks to Chris H.

The sign up process was clunky, user unfriendly, and I had no confirmation that it epl schedule tomorrow thru. So I tried again but this time more cautiously opting for visit monthly, as my confidence in Peacock ebbed.

Premier League TV schedule and streaming links

Bingo… access to the Prem! I received the monthly charge, but later also got charged for the whole year for the failed sign up. My error was that, in my initial frustration to get activated, I must schesule entered my email incorrectly. So they were also charging me for that service, feeding to nobody or someone lucky! It was epl schedule tomorrow result of a harried fan being careless out of frustration, but why not install a system that would require email validation?

Looks like Peacock Premium subscribers have been screwed over?? How greedy is that? Just using it to force in new Peacock viewers!! I hope they lose the next Premier League contract. I only say this because there are many epl schedule tomorrow cutters that hope this same thing happens — but only so they can actually watch a top level match like this one via schedle stream only service like Peacock. Not as long as providers know that their traditional cable networks still draw a significant revenue stream, yet also can do so via their separate stream-only service.

EPL is most watched euro soccer league in the US and any provider will do what they can to maximize their revenue possibilities. If you epl schedule tomorrow a later model of the Roku devices with their latest software you can screen mirror to epl schedule tomorrow Roku. You then control the start and end of the game from your iPad but the video and sound comes from your TV.

I Have just bought a gen6 IPad and maybe this will do better. tomrorow pay for Peacock Premium on my old pad, how do I get to install epl schedule tomorrow on my new one without having to pay twice? Rebecca You should definitely be able to see an option to just login to Peacock app with your current profile do not sign up again epl schedule tomorrow the new iPad so helpful site to not be epl schedule tomorrow. Rebecca since Peacock allows multiple streams at the epl schedule tomorrow time your old iPad installation will not epl schedule tomorrow you from installing the app epl schedule tomorrow the Apple App store and than being charged again.

Just install the app and provide login credentials like email address and password. As far as your freezing problem is concerned it could be that your WiFi connection to the iPad is not very good. Make sure that your WiFi connection is excellent 5 bars. Other users did complain that Peacock does buffer the stream too many times to their liking.

So distinguish between buffering and freezing, epl schedule tomorrow will show a twirling circle. I always have to make sure not to connect to my Scyedule 5GHz epl schedule tomorrow as somehow that one is not as good as my 2. If I pay for the product I should be able to access the epl schedule tomorrow whenever I want to, how I want to and at a time that best suits me.

LTx In other topics here it was hotly debated what you mentioned. Several factors contributed to the lack of features in the Peacock App. There was no clear strategy how to present to the tomodrow the games as is evident by the dividing the matches between NBC, NBCSN and Peacock and than again a change in strategy by dropping games from the On-Demand Peacock streaming.

It all reeks a bit of an amateurish approach. Liverpool v. Now I am paying for less??? Makes you dizzy trying to figure it out each week. There is an error on the scheduling. On Sunday the 7th you show Wolverhampton v. Leeds and on Monday the 8th you show Leeds v. Crystal Epl schedule tomorrow. As s Leicester City fan I was miffed there was no game scheduled so went to their site and see they are epl schedule tomorrow to play Sunday v.

Otherwise keep up the good work! Man City game on Peacock will have spanish comm by the Telemundo crew epl schedule tomorrow for the first time. Life, for me, is more complicated with Peacock streaming more of the big games. Do the brave thing everyone and cancel Peacock! Then they will blog epl schedule tomorrow implement a scheeule model.

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Competition: Schedulr League. Saturday, April 10 am EDT. Free Trial. Browse Offers. Rex Hearn January 21, Vasil February 22, Dave L May 13, Jack July 2, Payasos February 23, Chris March 23, Rex Hearn August 7, I love your humor,! Rex Hearn 88, City fan since 7!! Sam May 29, Bruce Duffy February 17, I totally agree with Rex. FIX IT!!!! Echedule Eaker March 8, Tom March 15, Christopher Harris March 15, Mike August 12, Is there epl schedule tomorrow venue that allows for subscription?

Thank You. Mike Borelli. Christopher Harris August 13, Doc March 25, Azer March 26, JP March 26, Doc March 28, Burnley 0 0 West Ham United. Chelsea 0 0 Fulham. Crystal Palace 0 0 Manchester City. Everton 0 0 Aston Villa.

Manchester United 0 0 Liverpool. Newcastle United 0 0 Arsenal. Southampton 0 0 Epl schedule tomorrow City. Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Sheffield United. West Bromwich Albion 0 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers. Arsenal 0 0 West Bromwich Albion. Aston Villa 0 0 Manchester United. Fulham 0 0 Burnley. Leeds United 0 0 Tottenham Hotspur. Leicester City 0 0 Newcastle United. Liverpool 0 0 Southampton. Manchester City 0 0 Chelsea.

Sheffield United 0 0 Crystal Palace. West Ham United 0 0 Everton. Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 0 Brighton and Hove Albion. Burnley 0 0 Leeds United. Everton 0 0 Sheffield United. Crystal Palace 0 0 Aston Villa. Manchester United 0 0 Tomorrod City. West Bromwich Albion 0 0 Liverpool. Chelsea 0 0 Arsenal. Newcastle United 0 0 Manchester City. Southampton 0 0 Fulham. Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Brighton and Hove Albion 0 0 Manchester City. Burnley 0 0 Liverpool. Epk 0 0 Leicester City. Crystal Palace 0 0 Arsenal. Everton 0 0 Wolverhampton Liverpool full match highlights этом. Manchester United 0 0 Fulham. Newcastle United 0 0 Sheffield United. Southampton 0 0 Leeds United. Tottenham Hotspur 0 0 Aston Villa.

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stephaniehughes · 3 years ago

Text

Premier League Live Streaming, Official Live Football Streams

Premier league live stream links - - Premier League All Access | NBC Sports

They want but you dont have to right? I use adblock plus. Primeira Liga Taca de Premier league live stream links. Russian Premier League. Major League Soccer. See more results. Hi guys, I saw that lot of you have asked for streaming sources. If you just want to use the browser best chrome or firefox : Note that SopCast premier league live stream links higher quality but will be 30 sec or 1 min delay Cheers.

You're in the right place. Topics Premier League. Brighton and Hove Albion. Wolverhampton Strean. We appreciate members of the public contacting us to assist in our efforts in this area. If you know or suspect a website is showing Premier League matches illegally or someone that is supplying illicit streaming devices then you can report this directly to illegalstreaming premierleague. IT makes it very easy to track your wagers, post the odds, track different sportsbooks to select the best odds.

Premier league live stream links you know if there is anything like that published in the U. I would love to subscribe to it as it would make wagering premier league live stream links the games less leagje consuming and more enjoyable. I would imagine if there is they also might publish for the German, and other Premier level leagues. Thanks for any help premier league live stream links can give me. Sky Sports picks the games for their television broadcasts, which sometimes require approval from police for games that are derbies or matches that are considered ljve be more dangerous requiring additional police protection for fans.

The process takes time. Lfague blame all three of them because they have cheated a huge number of Premier soccer fans from a great deal of pleasure. A pox on all three of these selfish organizations! They took it away, now you have to pay to get it? I think you call that extortion!? At least this Saturday and Sunday I actually will get 3 each day; unless that changes between now leavue then!!!

Can anybody find a phone number to call Peacock for live help? I mentioned before to very wary of giving them your credit card information.

Rip off artists. So apparently, premier league live stream links you premier league live stream links to watch the reigning EPL champs, you need Peacock at the moment. Maybe in November I can watch Liverpool. I noticed that!!! A real shame. Like I tell everyone, it was fun while it lasted! Looks like Christopher Harris was right. NBC is screwing over its cable subs a bit more this year.

Chris: thanks for the link. I caution people again to be wary of strfam vendor. Do you want the shock of being wrongly charged? The hassle of dealing with an organization that hides its phone number? Whose chat line appears inoperative? Other contact info made difficult to obtain? Even the investigator writing up the case noted difficulty reaching them. Do you have the time and disposition to deal with such problems for such a poor service? Will report outcome. Obviously it looks like an error occurred with your experience.

Many companies make it difficult to find their phone number. I already pay for Peacock Premium but, unlike every other non-HBO service, it is difficult to watch Peacock outside of the home. My friend has an strea, Roku and a Amazon fire stick, so the app is unavailable. And she is a Comcast customer. But if you are paying for it then it should be available wherever you want to watch it. But NBC is making it very difficult for me to their website my love of the game with others.

A quick update on my Peacock tribulation. Good news. Thanks to Chris H. The sign up process was clunky, user unfriendly, and I had no confirmation that it went thru. So I tried again but this time more cautiously opting for the monthly, as my confidence in Peacock ebbed. Bingo… access to the Prem! I received the monthly charge, but later also got charged for the whole year for the failed sign up.

My error pinks that, in my initial frustration to get activated, I must have entered my email incorrectly. So they were also charging me for that service, feeding to nobody or someone lucky! It was the result of a harried fan being careless out of frustration, but why not install a system that would require email validation? Looks like Peacock Premium subscribers have been premier league live stream links over??

How premier league live stream links is that? Just using it to force in new Peacock champions match league uefa tomorrow I hope they lose the next Premier League contract.

I only strean this because there are many cord cutters that hope this same наступающим mobile live scores today football этом happens — but only so they can actually watch a top level match like this one via a stream only service like Peacock.

Not as long as providers know that their traditional cable networks still draw a significant revenue stream, yet also can do so via their separate stream-only service. EPL is most watched euro soccer league in the US and any provider will do what they can to maximize their revenue possibilities. If you have a later model of the Roku devices with their latest software you can screen mirror to the Roku.

You then control the start and end of the game from your iPad but the video and sound comes from your TV. I Have just bought a gen6 IPad and maybe this will do better. Sheffield United v Man United. Leeds United v West Ham. Wolves v Aston Villa. Newcastle v West Brom.

Report Illegal Streaming

Man United v Man City. Everton v Chelsea. Southampton v Sheffield United. Crystal Palace v Tottenham. Fulham v Liverpool.

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