#ash venting?

[red-lights-of-doooooom]

unfortunately, it is NEVER going to be "cool" to be kind. people just don't find kindness "cool". they may find it inspiring and good and admirable, but they're not going to find it as "cool" as, say, someone who is funny, or charismatic, or talented, or pretty.

they just aren't. :(

so why is it that the only thing i want to be is kind?

[valeovalairs]

acnes your pd

[ashuribbon]

So let me go towards the morning star With hope it won't disappear

[darkxsoulzyx]

do you guys ever get too scared to post ocs because you’re worried that their design or story isn’t cool enough

And then someone posts their OC/sona that looks super similar to your OC, even though you’ve technically made yours first

And now you’re scared of posting them because you’re afraid someone is gonna try and compare the two, because someone will always do that if they look similar enough

Do you guys ever feel that way or am I just really really stupid

[the-one-who-burned]

I fear that there is distance between us however I cannot tell if it’s my own cruel mind playing tricks on me or we have truly grown apart. Can you tell me if I’m alone in these thoughts?

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

For vaggie that spear is her support animal/therapist

For charlie, it's a rival she'd like to throw in lava but can't cause, it's vaggies support 'animal'

silly headcanon plot twist- Charlie's jealously at the spear ISN'T silly or irrational at all, it's a subconscious manifestation of Charlie's desperation for her girlfriend to actually open up emotionally to HER instead of to a WEAPON, confide fears and problems in CHARLIE, and a very frustrated, very also-emotionally-constipated-in-her-own-way Charlie doesn't wanna pin that frustration on Vaggie directly so she deflects all her anger to the spear, which as an inanimate objects, can't get any hurt feelings over this or decide Charlie is too much and dump her

we've done it. we've cracked the silly headcanon and found the angst waiting underneath XD XD XD

or maybe the above is all just what the hazbin crew speculates together, in their weekly "there's no way those two idiots don't have shit going on in their relationship" chaggie hotel gossip meet-ups

[landmineash]

sweetheart, let me worship you. you're a god to me, there's nobody i love more than you. i love you so much, i love you more than i've loved anyone. you own me, in every sense of the word.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

mdzs tumblr post au but it’s just “what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament” (nightless city)

[manic-sapphic]

[modelxis]

you've heard of fankids... times for fan-parents!

[snatcher-no-snatching]

very annoying getting into a fandom where most of the audience seems to be on the younger side. there are so many concepts that are completely normal that just seem outside the realm of possibility for a teenager to even comprehend

I see SO much "how could anyone like this character, you know he's like 40-50 right?" and "how could anyone like this character, he's fat!" and "how could you like this character, he's a villain!" and so on so forth. Like, are you new here? I can only assume yes

[red-lights-of-doooooom]

i show a healthy amount of contempt for the human race, and yet i still crave acceptance and human connection because my brain forgot that i'm still human

[ufash]

"Solastalgia"

I am a patchwork of longing,

woven by hands I’ve forgotten,

threaded with whispers of ash and stars.

A moonlit wound glows within my chest,

its light neither of warmth nor solace,

but a beacon for ghosts

that circle and circle, taunting, endlessly.

I long to break free

to scatter my spirit

like fireflies in a night too dark to name,

to let the raven carry my shadow

to the edges of what could be.

But here I remain,

a still-life of solastalgia,

waiting for the earth to turn softer,

for my roots to find home.

[purgatory-is-life]

Mechtober prompt 20/day 20-Crew Night

soft mechs rights. as a treat

@mechtober-2024

One (Mostly) Violence Free Night - Reality666Rift999 - The Mechanisms (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

tw; jonny shoots ivy in the head at one point, a little bit of out angst, marius breaks his arm very briefly and it's not described, i think that's it! lmk if there's something u need me to tag!

---

Lyfrassir was knitting themself a blanket, definitely-not-hiding in their room, when a knock sounded from their door.

They definitely didn’t jump and nearly throw their entire blanket half-way across their room. That did not happen.

They got up, carefully setting their project down on their bed, before walking over to their door and sliding it open part way. “Yes?”

It was Ashes, the quartermaster smirked up at them and raised an eyebrow, a cigarette between their fingers. “Hey Doll,” Ashes said.

“Hello, O’Reilly.” Lyfrassir raised an eyebrow. “Is there something you need?”

“It’s Crew Night,” they said, in lieu of explaining.

“…Okay? And what does that have to do with me, O’Reilly?”

Ashes rolled their eyes, taking a drag of the cigarette. “C’mon,” they stated, gesturing with their head. “We better get going.”

“Wh- I thought I made it clear I did not want to engage in any criminal activity while I was aboard.”

Ashes snorted. “We’re in deep space, sugar. The only criminal activity available is killin’ each other, and that’s practically half the entertainment we have. It’s not anythin’ illegal. Just c’mon, I think you’ll like it.” Ashes started walking away, and Lyf was content to just return to their room, but Aurora jerked their door open the rest of the way.

Lyfrassir huffed, trying to pull it closed. It didn’t budge, Aurora beeping at them incessantly.

“Would it help if I called this mandatory?” Ashes called back to them. Lyf sighed.

“Fine. Just let me get some of my knitting things.”

“O’course, we all gotta find ways to keep our hands busy. Aurora will show you to the right common room!” and Ashes disappeared around a corner. Lyfrassir sighed, and walked into their room to grab their half-finished blanket. Aurora beeped and creaked excitedly. Lyf raised an eyebrow, but continued on their way to this alleged ‘Crew Night’.

Aurora’s lights blinked and flashed, leading the former inspector down a twisting and winding hallway. Lyf followed, as Aurora hummed excitedly.

Eventually they arrived at the designated common room, to find the Mechanisms… making some kind of pillow fort. Brian and Raphaella were making a nest with the blankets, covering the floor with them–the floor that was already made up of mostly plush mats. Marius was on Tim’s shoulders in an attempt to hang up blankets, while Jonny was on Ashes’s shoulders doing the same thing. The Toy Soldier and Ivy were holding piles of snacks while Aurora cycled through movies on a large screen.

“…What’s going on?” They asked. Marius turned around, which did not seem to be safe–considering he fell off Tim’s shoulders doing that.

“Lyf! Hi!” he shouted excitedly, before breaking his flesh-arm from falling down. “Motherfucker!” Mairus screeched.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Lyfrassir sighed.

“It’s Crew Night, dumbass,” Jonny said. He glanced down at Marius. “The hell were you thinking, idiot? How the fuck did you even hurt yourself in this room? It’s mostly pillows.”

Marius just flipped the first mate off.

Lyfrassir huffed in annoyance. “Yes, I’ve been told it’s Crew Night already. What the fuck does that mean?”

“Did Ashes and Aurora not explain to you yet?” Ivy raised an eyebrow as the Toy Soldier started pouring cups of tea. Lyf shook their head. Ivy sighed, and turned to Ashes. “I thought I asked you to explain when you went to get them.”

“I did explain,” Ashes grinned widely.

“You just said that it was ‘Crew Night’!” Lyf argued.

Ivy sighed again. “Crew Night is basically just a day we pick at random where we all get together and relax, often with movies but sometimes we do other activities. One night we attempted to bake together, however that… did not end well. So we mostly stick to movie nights.”

“Oh…” Lyf hummed. “Alright.”

“Find a seat anywhere! We’re almost done setting up!” Raphaella called excitedly. She chirped as she tucked a blanket into a ball amidst the nest. Lyf nodded, and sat down on one of the ends of the nest, getting comfortable with their knitting again as the Mechanisms flitted about putting the finishing touches on their pillow nest. The Toy Soldier ran over and offered them a oil-black, rainbow stained teacup with what smelled like jasmine tea inside it.

“Navigator Lyf! I’m Glad You Were Able To Join Us For Crew Night. Tea?”

“Oh, uh, sure, Toy Soldier. Thank you,” Lyf took the cup and nodded to the wooden doll with a small smile on their face.

“It Has Been A Long While Since We’ve Had A Crew Night,” The Toy continued, “So It’s Nice That We’re Able To Share It With The Newest Member Of Our Crew. Do You Have A Movie Preference? Ivy And Aurora Should Be Able To Find Any Movie You Want Amidst Their Collective Data Banks!”

“Oi, it’s my turn to pick a movie!” Jonny shouted. He’d climbed off of Ashes’s shoulders, but was still draped across them like they were the only thing keeping him standing.

Ashes rolled their eyes. “Jonny, Doll, it’s only fair if you let the newbie pick.”

“They haven’t even participated in the rights fights!”

“They’re also breakable. If they did, they’d probably die.”

“They’re also right here,” Lyf rolled their eyes. They returned to their conversation with The Soldier, blowing on their tea to try and cool it off. “How long has it been since you’ve had one of these? I’ve been here about a year by now, and I don’t remember you ever doing this.”

“Oh, Goodness Me, I Can’t Seem To Recall!” The Toy Soldier pretended to think for a moment. “I Believe– Oh My, Has It Really Been Since Nastya?” the wooden thing pretended to get sad for a moment, turning away from Lyf. “My, That’s Quite A Long While… No, Surely We’ve Done It Since? I Just Can’t Quite Remember! How Odd…”

“It has been approximately four hundred and thirty-seven years since our last Crew Night,” Ivy said, walking over and placing her tray of snacks next to Lyf. “The last one was shortly, about a century or so, after Nastya went Out. So–”

Ivy didn’t get to continue whatever it was she was planning on saying, as Jonny had shot a bullet clean through her skull.

“Jonny!” Ashes snapped, yanking his gun away from him. “No death on Crew Nights! That’s literally the only rule!”

“Well she broke a rule too!” Jonny growled. “She- wh-…” Jonny’s voice trailed off as Brian picked him up by the scruff. The shortest of the Mechs went limp, eyes going wide as he stared at the floor.

“Air jail,” Brian said, “for your crimes.” Ashes laughed, lighting up a cigarette.

“Ivy was just tryna explain, Jonny,” Ashes said. “She coulda done it better, but it’s still Crew Night. Don’t shoot people just for pissing you off, or I’m taking your gun.”

Jonny grumbled, crossing his arms as his tail swished. Brian seemed satisfied though, and brought him over to the nest, depositing him in the middle and promptly wrapping him up in a blanket. Jonny glared up at the brass pilot, but the metal man just grinned and kissed Jonny on the forehead.

“Your beard’s scratchy,” Jonny mumbled.

“Oh my beard is scratchy?” Brian raised an eyebrow. “Not yours that you constantly refuse to take care of?”

“Mine isn’t made out of wire,” Jonny said. He wriggled and squirmed until an arm was free, and reached up to poke Brian’s face. “Yours is. And it’s scratchy.”

Brian rolled his eyes.

Lyf  took a sip of their tea, eyes darting around the room as the other Mechanisms started settling down. “It’s… odd to see you all being… nice to each other.”

“It is Crew Night,” Brian said, flopping down in the nest next to Jonny, the other immediately curling up into him. “So we’re a bit kinder to each other.”

“You know, the more you say it, the less meaning it has to me,” Lyfrassir declared.

“Now you’re getting it!” Tim called, fae grinned widely which only worked to further confuse Lyf.

“That- what does– that doesn’t even make sense in this context.”

“Exactly,” Tim said, taking Jonny’s other side. Fae draped an arm across Jonny’s shoulders, playing with the first mate’s hair. “We don’t make sense and it’s best if you just roll with it.”

Ivy stood up, brushing her skirt off, and doing her best to get blood out of her shirt. “You don’t make sense. I happen to be very logical. Is Marius alright?”

Raphaella chirped and walked over the ball that was currently the not-a-baron. She whacked him with a wing. “Mari, we have to start,” the winged scientist whined.

“My arm hurts,” Marius whined back, from his ball. “I’m not moving for five hundred years.” Raph chirped again, more frustratedly, and picked him up in order to deposit him in the slowly forming cuddle pile. As the violinist unfurled from his ball, Lyf could see that his arm was, in fact, healed. Lyfrassir rolled their eyes at them.

Marius crawled into Brian’s lap and Ashes sat by Tim, putting faer head in their lap to play with faer hair. The Toy Soldier jumped up from its spot next to Lyf and wormed its way into the pile wherever it could fit. Raph laid across as many of the other Mechs as was physically possible, which was an endeavor aided by her wings. Ivy joined as well, sitting a bit towards the edge of the pile but close enough to snuggle up next to Ashes and Tim. Lyf watched in mild confusion as the Mechanisms created, perhaps, the most chaotic pile of living human bodies that ever existed.

This was… Not their initial impressions of the Mechanisms.

They were rude, violent, loud, and murderous. They killed without hesitation, they killed each other without hesitation. They destroyed planets, conquered them and then left them to burn because they simply got bored. The worst criminals to ever exist, and they’d only continue to exist and cause more destruction. And yet, here they were.

Cuddling and clinging on to each other like their immortal lives depended on it, about to watch a movie with each other. It was strange, an oxymoron to their very beings.

‘I have pulled up the selected movies for tonight :] If you would like to suggest one, Lyfrassir, you may as well :]’ Aurora wrote out, taking up most of the big movie screen with the words.

“Oh, I’m alright, Aurora…” Lyf said, shrugging. A thumbs up appeared on the screen, and it went dark with a purple loading circle appearing in the center as the lights dimmed.

Lyfrassir took another sip of their tea, before carefully setting it down and resuming their knitting. They weren’t going to complain about the behavior shift, if it got them some peace and quiet.

About half way through the first movie, Lyfrassir dozed off, and when they woke up again they’d somehow gotten dragged into the cuddle pile by–seemingly–Ivy and The Toy Soldier. Lyfrassir sighed, rolling their eyes. Aurora was creaking quietly and the lights were dimmed lower than they had been earlier, signifying Aurora being asleep. Lyf sighed, and curled up, returning to sleep. Just this once, they’ll allow it. It certainly helped that Ashes made a great pillow.

[the-one-who-burned]

Apologies in advance for this tangent I’ll be going on.

It truly irks me when those who falsely claim to be obsessed or devoted appear before me. They make a mockery of those of us who truly wish to be at the altar of our beloved, to sit at their feet and devote ourselves to them regardless of what we get in return. How dare you spit such blasphemy under the name we share? Love? Devotion? Obsessed? Please don’t make me laugh. What you feel is nothing more than infatuation and desperation that's all you reek of. I pity the poor souls who are subjected to such watered-down, superficial, tasteless “love”. Do not trespass into our hallowed ground and pretend to be one of us.

You are not welcome here.

[scintillating-scales]

I mentioned in a previous post that trauma and neurodivergence has influenced my nonhumanity. It's honestly a big part of why I've gone back and forth on whether or not I really am nonhuman, or if it's just like. A trauma response/coping mechanism. I know when I was very young, I liked to imagine myself as a dragon, and wished so much to become one. After all, being a dragon means you're big and strong and powerful and nobody can hurt you. And if you ever do fear for your safety, you can simply fly away. Being a dragon meant safety, and that was important to me, because I didn't feel it much as a human.

It's also a way to sortof reclaim the emotional isolation I've faced my entire life. Part of my particular brand of neurodivergence is my inability to connect with anyone, and my very low empathy. I don't know if I was born like this, or if it was stripped from me after a childhood full of neglect and solitude. But it's something I've had to come to terms with and learn to live with. Dragons in my mind are very solitary. Of course there are dragons who are social and feel things very deeply and have close-knit families. But I am not one of them. I'm the type to hold my own territory and immerse myself in whatever matters concern myself and myself alone, without care for the world beyond.

Then the trauma I experienced later as a young teen served to dehumanize me completely, and further divided me from the very few people I would've considered myself 'close' to. All the shame from what I went through manifested in a sense of deep self-loathing, that has never really gone away, and has only made me acutely aware of how inhuman and monstrous I am. Being a dragon then was less about safety, and more about embracing the alien, predatory sense of self I had. That specifically, in conjunction with my inability to connect, has created the very reptilian form I take. Nothing about me is soft or mammalian, and it feels wrong to ascribe any traits of that to what I am.

Because of all of my 'issues', every interaction I have involves masking. I like to think I'm pretty good at it. I come off as charismatic to those around me. But it's draining, unnatural, and it makes me feel even more like an impostor; like a coiled, tense predator. A dragon has no expectations of the sort. It can be distant and isolated and callous, with no mincing of words or faux platitudes. It can be vicious even, with no 'violation' of how a dragon is meant to be. It may be resented for its nature, of course. But it is no less draconic for it.

Ultimately, my draconity may only be a product of the hand I was dealt in life. A way to cope with an isolated experience. But my identity has been draconic for so long, I don't think I can dismiss it, even if it's not the typical experience for nonhumans.